1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,040
Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

2
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,920
Speaker 1: podcast hosts. So we have some spectacular stories coming up.

3
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,080
Speaker 1: But real quick, we get a two minute break from

4
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 1: our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

5
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,720
Speaker 2: My family is furious that I canceled my arranged marriage.

6
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,400
Speaker 3: She's arranging way to get away from you guys.

7
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,080
Speaker 2: For context, our marriage was arranged by our families and

8
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,079
Speaker 2: we only had a month to get to know each other.

9
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,960
Speaker 3: Oh thirty day new wife A.

10
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 2: At first, I was willing to go through with it

11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,200
Speaker 2: just to please my family, even though I knew I

12
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 2: wasn't attracted him in the slightest. My family pressured me

13
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,440
Speaker 2: into the marriage, mainly because his family is wealthy. By

14
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,080
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from General Airport fourteen ninety one,

15
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,519
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

16
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,080
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia,

17
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,879
Speaker 2: I'm Riley, I'm ke On, and Op says. As time passed,

18
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 2: I slowly realized I couldn't see myself living that kind

19
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,160
Speaker 2: of life anymore or forever. Still, I was ready to

20
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,960
Speaker 2: commit if we both understood that we had no romantic

21
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,040
Speaker 2: feelings for each other and treated it as a practical

22
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,840
Speaker 2: arrangement rather than an emotional relationship. What I didn't expect

23
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,039
Speaker 2: was that he would actually fall in love with me,

24
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,360
Speaker 2: or at least that's what he says. We had only

25
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,240
Speaker 2: known each other for a month, but he was already

26
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 2: showering me with affection and attention way more than I

27
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520
Speaker 2: could ever give back. I was always indifferent and never

28
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,199
Speaker 2: initiated anything, and it became obvious that this was hurting him.

29
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,680
Speaker 3: I would love to talk to someone that arrange his marriages.

30
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

31
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,639
Speaker 3: From my assumption, yeah, I arrange better if the guy's

32
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 3: getting set up with like a beautiful woman, the families

33
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,240
Speaker 3: hopping them up. Oh dude, I got you, Like, look

34
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,960
Speaker 3: at your wife seem to be wife. Dude, check that out. Dude,

35
00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,320
Speaker 3: you're doing great. And on the other hand, the wife's like, eh,

36
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,479
Speaker 3: he's okay, Mmm, it's probably I feel like the guy

37
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,960
Speaker 3: might be let on a little bit, and that's my.

38
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,480
Speaker 2: Super I wish that like more. I mean, like, I

39
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 2: know this happens sometimes, but it happens. But I feel

40
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,680
Speaker 2: like you guys, people arranging marriages got to start finding

41
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,200
Speaker 2: like personality matches, not oh.

42
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,440
Speaker 3: Your family has a calf or your family has a

43
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,239
Speaker 3: textile furniture company. My family's a textile furniture company. Yeah,

44
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,360
Speaker 3: you can have an empire.

45
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, like star Let's start getting personality matches in there,

46
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,920
Speaker 2: could have a personality and a textile factory. He was

47
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,600
Speaker 2: constantly seeking validation, to the point where he told me

48
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,080
Speaker 2: that if I couldn't love him, I should say so

49
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,240
Speaker 2: and we should call up the wedding because being with

50
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,600
Speaker 2: someone who loved him was important to him. That's fair.

51
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:27,680
Speaker 2: It's pretty fair.

52
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:28,880
Speaker 3: He's not the bad guy there.

53
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's just fair. I asked my family for advice,

54
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,079
Speaker 2: and they all told me it was a good thing

55
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 2: he was in love with me, but that love can

56
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,760
Speaker 2: be forced over time, and that I would eventually develop

57
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,519
Speaker 2: feelings for him.

58
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:41,080
Speaker 4: I don't.

59
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,680
Speaker 2: But no matter how much time I spent with him,

60
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,080
Speaker 2: I couldn't appreciate him, let alone love him. His constant

61
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,040
Speaker 2: need for my approval and affection was suffocating, and the

62
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,720
Speaker 2: love bombing was more off putting than anything else. To

63
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,239
Speaker 2: try and make things work, I suggested we live together

64
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,120
Speaker 2: for a week to see how it went, and I

65
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,480
Speaker 2: asked him to tone down the affection because I couldn't

66
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,040
Speaker 2: force myself to reciprocate at this stage.

67
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,919
Speaker 3: Girl, this is so mean what you're doing.

68
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,320
Speaker 2: Tell him, oh, well, I think that if you can't

69
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 2: feel like you could love him, and you know that

70
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,720
Speaker 2: he needs you to love him to be in this relationship,

71
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,919
Speaker 2: then you have to call it off.

72
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 3: Don't. Yes, he's gonna you know, he's gonna cook you

73
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,960
Speaker 3: so many things. He's gonna put so much effort too

74
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,240
Speaker 3: this relationship. You're gonna feel eh, yeah, don't do that.

75
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,079
Speaker 2: Don't do it. He agreed, and the week together seemed

76
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,359
Speaker 2: to go well. But after I left, my mom told

77
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,240
Speaker 2: me he had cried to her, asking for advice on

78
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 2: how to make me love him, and saying he missed me.

79
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 2: That was when I realized I didn't want to babysit

80
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,280
Speaker 2: him as long as he couldn't accept that I had

81
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 2: no feelings for him. This was going to be painful

82
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,320
Speaker 2: for both of us. But that's not the worst part.

83
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,680
Speaker 2: My parents blamed me for rejecting his affection. According to

84
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,680
Speaker 2: them and him, I made absolutely no effort to make

85
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,360
Speaker 2: the relationship work while he was putting in all the efforts.

86
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,920
Speaker 2: Everyone sided with him. I was ungrateful and considerate and

87
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,360
Speaker 2: should be shamed. I wonder why you literally just you

88
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,840
Speaker 2: Like a little bit ago your parents said, oh, you

89
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 2: can just force love later, and now they're like, why

90
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 2: why aren't you forcing the love right now?

91
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,240
Speaker 5: Remember he has money, honey.

92
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, force that love and emotions.

93
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yesterday I finally decided to end things. I told

94
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 2: him that if he wasn't willing to date me for

95
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,560
Speaker 2: at least four more months to see if we were

96
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,800
Speaker 2: actually compatible, I don't want to marry him.

97
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,400
Speaker 3: Super reasonable, Yeah, this is reasonable on both sides.

98
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, to be like, let's wait a little bit and

99
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,839
Speaker 2: maybe I could fall in love with you, but certainly

100
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,520
Speaker 2: can't do it in a month. Basically, I asked him

101
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 2: to postpone the wedding and give things a real chance first,

102
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 2: but he wasn't okay with that. He said he didn't

103
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000
Speaker 2: want to waste his time and that if I didn't

104
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,280
Speaker 2: love him now, there was no point in continuing.

105
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,760
Speaker 3: Great, all right, we're doing now right? Perfect?

106
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:50,000
Speaker 4: Cool?

107
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,600
Speaker 5: Wow, this guy is never gonna find love now now in.

108
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,279
Speaker 3: A month, geez, I think he can.

109
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,599
Speaker 2: He'll find someone now. Everyone's mad at me. They keep

110
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,240
Speaker 2: telling me I'll never find another man like him, which

111
00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,560
Speaker 2: is probably true, but even worse, my own parents are

112
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,120
Speaker 2: siding with him. They say I've ruined their relationship with

113
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,360
Speaker 2: his family, that he didn't deserve this, and that any

114
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,920
Speaker 2: other girl would have immediately accepted him. Well, then go

115
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,719
Speaker 2: find any other girl. They even said they don't know

116
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,159
Speaker 2: why they got a daughter like me.

117
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,919
Speaker 3: What are the politics of your families? That's the real question.

118
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,320
Speaker 3: I've like Opie's really her mind's on. I don't want

119
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,600
Speaker 3: to marry this dude. What's the broader picture here?

120
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:30,800
Speaker 5: Yeah?

121
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,039
Speaker 2: Why do they need to have a good relationship with

122
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:33,560
Speaker 2: his family?

123
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,200
Speaker 3: What are these families going to accomplish together?

124
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,960
Speaker 2: I do feel bad for him, but I'm also angry

125
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 2: that no one is considering my feelings. I was willing

126
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 2: to give the marriage a chance, but only if we

127
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,560
Speaker 2: actually got to know each other first. He was the

128
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 2: one who wasn't okay with that. At this point, I

129
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,120
Speaker 2: don't know what to do to make things better, because

130
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,680
Speaker 2: the only way to fix this is to completely disregard

131
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,800
Speaker 2: myself for the sake of everyone else's happiness. This whole

132
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,640
Speaker 2: situation has been really painful. Lily cried yesterday when I

133
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,000
Speaker 2: told them I was ending the relationship. Wedding preparations had

134
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,320
Speaker 2: already started and money had been spent, so, needless to say,

135
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,599
Speaker 2: they're not taking it well. But the hardest part for

136
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 2: me is knowing that my relationship with my parents might

137
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,960
Speaker 2: never be the same after this. If it comes to

138
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,880
Speaker 2: cutting ties, then so be it. I'm an adult and

139
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,719
Speaker 2: they're not responsible for me anymore. They also blame me

140
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,120
Speaker 2: for not reciprocating his feelings despite everything he did for me.

141
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 2: I wish I could have fallen in love with him,

142
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,359
Speaker 2: but I don't think it ever would have happened. In

143
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,880
Speaker 2: a way, I'm also doing this for him. He would

144
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 2: have ended up miserable and resentful if we had gone

145
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,159
Speaker 2: through with it. For now, I just want to focus

146
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,960
Speaker 2: on my life and my studies. My sisters are the

147
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,360
Speaker 2: only ones who actually listen to me, but unfortunately there's

148
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,120
Speaker 2: nothing they can do to change my parents' minds. I

149
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,280
Speaker 2: also come from a very religious household, and after everything

150
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,240
Speaker 2: that's happened, my parents are convinced that Karmel will come

151
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,320
Speaker 2: after our family because of what I've done.

152
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,839
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Hey, I'm sorry.

153
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,120
Speaker 2: Why don't we like I don't know what is he

154
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 2: gotta be the one.

155
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,279
Speaker 3: Taking a hit. It just wasn't a match. It was

156
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 3: a match for his part, was a match on her part.

157
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,480
Speaker 2: He didn't want it either.

158
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's let's find another family start over.

159
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:14,360
Speaker 2: Breaking my promise to marry him, hurting someone's feelings, leading

160
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,160
Speaker 2: him on, being ungrateful, and so on.

161
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 3: Okay, what are the politics? What are the politics here?

162
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:19,600
Speaker 3: That's what I need to know.

163
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,840
Speaker 2: They wanted you to lead him on. They literally said,

164
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,160
Speaker 2: just marry him and you'll get you'll fall in love later.

165
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 2: That's leading him on.

166
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 5: It's literally running before crawling. It's crazy.

167
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,400
Speaker 2: I personally think I did nothing wrong. Maybe I should

168
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,160
Speaker 2: have rejected the arranged marriage proposal from the start, but

169
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,800
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for only doing it after things got serious,

170
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 2: and honestly makes me sad that they truly believe this

171
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,440
Speaker 2: and are now worried about our future. I just hope

172
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,880
Speaker 2: it doesn't end up causing them too much stress. And

173
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:50,960
Speaker 2: there are some comments, but yeah, you did nothing wrong, You.

174
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,000
Speaker 3: Just got a different pace.

175
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there is an update comment one. I know

176
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,480
Speaker 2: you were probably brought up in a way that you

177
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,680
Speaker 2: would feel bad about this, but you were not to

178
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 2: blame at all. Do you what is best for you?

179
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,200
Speaker 2: Your family doesn't carry the consequences of this. You do

180
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 2: in a few months, they'll be fine with your decision,

181
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,560
Speaker 2: but if you go against yourself, you might never be

182
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 2: okay with it. So listen to yourself. You're doing the

183
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,760
Speaker 2: right thing. Common two says, you'll never find out another

184
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,840
Speaker 2: man like him. That's exactly the point. You've made the

185
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,280
Speaker 2: right decision and saved yourself from many unhappy years. You

186
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,080
Speaker 2: deserve to be happy. Comment three. You got your answer

187
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,320
Speaker 2: when he refused to consider investing four months into a relationship,

188
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:31,560
Speaker 2: but then ONTs forty years of commitment. Reply says, that's

189
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 2: how it works in arranged marriages. Sad, but the truth,

190
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,920
Speaker 2: four to six months is the maximum time some families.

191
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 2: If they allow, we'll give you majority. You have to

192
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:44,040
Speaker 2: make a decision within weeks to three months max. Crazy

193
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,640
Speaker 2: and there is an update, but yeah, don't go through

194
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 2: with it.

195
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:52,120
Speaker 3: Don't do it. I wish we had a friend that

196
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,240
Speaker 3: does arrange marriages so we can ask how this is

197
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,360
Speaker 3: because I don't know if I was a match maker. Yeah,

198
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,480
Speaker 3: and I knew neither of them really vibe with each other. Yeah,

199
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 3: it would be a disservice to have that.

200
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yet I feel like that would be bad for

201
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 2: your business. But it doesn't seem like it's there's not

202
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 2: a matchmaker involved, it's it's the two families.

203
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I recently watched the video essay about the cheating

204
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:19,600
Speaker 3: culture in Japan and that marriages were a business affair

205
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,880
Speaker 3: between families, and usually once they get married, they'd live

206
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,880
Speaker 3: in separate households and the man would have mistresses and

207
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,520
Speaker 3: the wife could have a partner. But if there's seeming

208
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,520
Speaker 3: a partner that could be charged for it, the man

209
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 3: can get away with it, but the wife couldn't. And

210
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,040
Speaker 3: that changed in nineteen forty two. Thus it's kind of

211
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:40,360
Speaker 3: a new thing to be monogamous rather than like, you know, cheating.

212
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 3: So like some people's ideas about cheating, like most people

213
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 3: in Japan are like, you can't cheat at all, but

214
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,920
Speaker 3: it's usually like what happens if your boyfriend cheats with prostitute.

215
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 3: They're like, eh, all right, it's like that's kind of

216
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,120
Speaker 3: what's happened beforehand. So like that's the like conditioning there.

217
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,760
Speaker 3: And I feel like with I don't know what this

218
00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:00,559
Speaker 3: culture is specifically, but if it's just between two families,

219
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,400
Speaker 3: I feel like the system should change where you know,

220
00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,200
Speaker 3: arranged marriages could still happen but like it needs to

221
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,360
Speaker 3: jive and everyone needs to be happy in this. I mean,

222
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 3: it shouldn't be a one sided relationship.

223
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,080
Speaker 2: Why would you not want your child to be happy?

224
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then resentment and relationship oh my gosh.

225
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:17,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

226
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,600
Speaker 2: I also don't think that arranged marriages are necessarily like that.

227
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,960
Speaker 2: I think that there are a lot of instances where

228
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,840
Speaker 2: arranged marriages work out really well because it's literally just

229
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,360
Speaker 2: like a family being like, hey, I feel like this

230
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,760
Speaker 2: person would be It's not a forced marriage. That's different.

231
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,720
Speaker 2: Forced marriage bad, but like a ranged marriage. It's usually

232
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 2: just two people being like or two families being like, hey,

233
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,240
Speaker 2: we got we know guys.

234
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. The thing, the good thing that I've heard about

235
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:42,160
Speaker 3: arranged marriages is your family knows you, yeah, and they

236
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,000
Speaker 3: can find someone and usually.

237
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,400
Speaker 2: Within your own culture, so you have a lot of

238
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,760
Speaker 2: like cultural you know, sameness.

239
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,520
Speaker 3: And then not just setting you up with someone like

240
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 3: the way the families go about here bad. But other

241
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 3: ways it's like, oh yeah, guess who else I found

242
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,679
Speaker 3: that likes the bicycle.

243
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,360
Speaker 2: But there is an update. I ended thing with my

244
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,000
Speaker 2: ex fiance, but there was an arrangement we made at

245
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 2: the beginning of our relationship with him and his family.

246
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,920
Speaker 2: Since he was already considering me as his bride and

247
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 2: the wedding was just the final step to formalize things,

248
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,200
Speaker 2: he offered to pay for all my monthly tuition fees

249
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,800
Speaker 2: until the end of the school year. My parents and

250
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,760
Speaker 2: I accepted, since that's how things work in our culture.

251
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,160
Speaker 3: Oh boy, you gotta pay that back somehow.

252
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,760
Speaker 2: Now that we've broken up. He reached out to my

253
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,600
Speaker 2: parents and told them that since he gave it his word,

254
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,319
Speaker 2: he would still pay for my university expenses for the

255
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:35,120
Speaker 2: rest of the semester. Oh dann, Wow, that's nice.

256
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,120
Speaker 3: I could see where he could be a little hurt.

257
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:37,319
Speaker 4: Yer.

258
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's really considerate and generous of him.

259
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,560
Speaker 2: And since it was part of the original agreement my

260
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,199
Speaker 2: parents accepted. They were like, yeah, well, I get I guess,

261
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:49,000
Speaker 2: cause it's it's the agree we made the agreement. We

262
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,240
Speaker 2: have to do it. It'd be rude to not accept,

263
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,360
Speaker 2: but it would be rude to not join us.

264
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,640
Speaker 3: This is the old one, youps twitching in your thesis.

265
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,920
Speaker 3: You better thank you him, You better for this person.

266
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks to my almost husband here on me anything

267
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:07,560
Speaker 2: for the parents.

268
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,839
Speaker 5: It's always about the money, Yeah, and I feel like and.

269
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,000
Speaker 2: They're still you know, they're getting something out of it, so.

270
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, the fact that this is happening, they're like, oh wait.

271
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,520
Speaker 2: Like anywhere else, we're not that about I guess.

272
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 5: Which is crazy.

273
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they were not mad anymore.

274
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 5: Now they're still pretty bad because they're like, we could

275
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,080
Speaker 5: have the money way more rich.

276
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 2: If it were up to me, I would have thanked

277
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,160
Speaker 2: him and declined the offer, but I feel like I

278
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,319
Speaker 2: don't really have a say in it. My family isn't

279
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 2: as wealthy as his, and it's going to help us

280
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,920
Speaker 2: out financially, especially since I don't have a job yet.

281
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,240
Speaker 2: But I'm also really conflicted and can't shake the feeling

282
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,280
Speaker 2: that it's wrong. Even though he insists it's not about

283
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,320
Speaker 2: that and he's just keeping his word, I feel like

284
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,000
Speaker 2: I'm taking advantage of him. I'm not sure what to do.

285
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,679
Speaker 2: Should I just accept it and move on, or should

286
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:55,480
Speaker 2: I say something and comment one considering the man's feelings

287
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,679
Speaker 2: towards you. That feels like this is a gift with

288
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,960
Speaker 2: strings attached. That's what I think, But it also feels

289
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,800
Speaker 2: like I don't know if you could even say no,

290
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,280
Speaker 2: because this feels like more of a your family and

291
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,599
Speaker 2: him decision. Unless it's going to make your family social parias,

292
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 2: I would politely decline. Opie says. It means I have

293
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,880
Speaker 2: to convince my parents to refuse his help because the

294
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,720
Speaker 2: money goes directly into their bank account. I'm not sure

295
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,720
Speaker 2: if this is a gift with strings attached. He insists

296
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,920
Speaker 2: it's purely about keeping his word to my parents and

297
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,080
Speaker 2: has nothing to do with his feelings for me. But

298
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 2: at the same time, it's clear he's struggling with his feelings.

299
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,320
Speaker 2: It's not exactly going to make them social parias, but

300
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,679
Speaker 2: it would help them financially too.

301
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, the family wanted a financial gain from this arrangement,

302
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,040
Speaker 3: and they're getting it without you getting married to him.

303
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,800
Speaker 2: I would decline, Well, I would do, but I don't

304
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,439
Speaker 2: think it's really Opie's decision. Common two says it sounds

305
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,600
Speaker 2: like trying to convince your parents is not going to work.

306
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,719
Speaker 2: If you already told your ex that you feel it's

307
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,080
Speaker 2: wrong to accept money from him, and he still wants

308
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 2: to pay for your schooling, then that's his choice. If

309
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,520
Speaker 2: he tries to use it against you later. Please keep

310
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 2: screenshots of your conversation where you told them you do

311
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,840
Speaker 2: not want him to pay for your schooling and remind

312
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,080
Speaker 2: him that you did not want to accept his money.

313
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,800
Speaker 2: I wish the best for you in this situation. No

314
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,439
Speaker 2: one deserves to force love, and that is the end

315
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,400
Speaker 2: of that story. But I agree, and I'm glad that

316
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,160
Speaker 2: you did not go through with it, because that would

317
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,560
Speaker 2: have been a bad decision.

318
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,760
Speaker 3: It would have not been good for anyone.

319
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,160
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

320
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 2: another one coming right up.

321
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 4: My father disguises his hurtful comments as jokes.

322
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 3: Ah, you're so funny.

323
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 4: There's a trigger warning here for emotional abuse. My family

324
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 4: dynamic has always been a bit odd. My parents sixty

325
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,560
Speaker 4: male and sixty five female, and I aren't super close

326
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,920
Speaker 4: and we've never been in a very openly affectionate family,

327
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,320
Speaker 4: which is fine. I do believe my parents love me

328
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 4: and care for me in their own way, and they've

329
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:57,520
Speaker 4: been very financially supportive. They helped my partner male twenty four,

330
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,120
Speaker 4: and I with buying a house by for the mortgage.

331
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,040
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

332
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 4: By the way, yeah, that's that's a big deal. And

333
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 4: by the way, this comes from user crazy Bree Lady.

334
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,640
Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories. Go

335
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 4: to the r slash showcase story time subbred it. I'm Dakota,

336
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 4: I'm Riley, and I'm ke On and Op says, we're

337
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,320
Speaker 4: not here because my parents are such lovely people. Though, no, no, no,

338
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,320
Speaker 4: we're here because my dad is a bully. I have

339
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 4: a long history of furriction with my dad. He grew

340
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,479
Speaker 4: up in a poor household and still carries shame insecurity

341
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 4: and resentment from that into adulthood, which translates into looking

342
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 4: down his nose at others outside of his work circles.

343
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,640
Speaker 3: Dude, I've been at the receiving end of this.

344
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,960
Speaker 4: What just the guy who's like bagging Ma didn't have

345
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 4: no handouts and bagging my day. I had to freaking

346
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,360
Speaker 4: wrestle bears for twenty cents.

347
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 3: As a guy that runs off of words of affirmation,

348
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 3: getting this guy to tell me a good job was

349
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 3: as if he was shooting his own foot and he

350
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:58,400
Speaker 3: couldn't do it.

351
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, pulling teeth just it could have been better.

352
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 5: Ah.

353
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 4: I've had to deal with constant jabs about my emotional

354
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 4: stability and intelligence, which, when confronted, would suddenly become jokes

355
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 4: that I shouldn't take so seriously. If I pushed it

356
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,280
Speaker 4: because I was just called a hysterical twit to my

357
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 4: face by my father. His mocking laughter would change to anger,

358
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 4: and I would be told I was being dramatic and

359
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 4: needed to stop being hysterical. It's a dance we've performed

360
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 4: hundreds of times. All right, I might hit you with

361
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 4: maybe a little bit of cold water here. It takes

362
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 4: two to tango, My guy, I understand your dad's being

363
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 4: immature and joking and poking at you, but guess what,

364
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,880
Speaker 4: m you just stop acknowledging that conversation.

365
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 3: You know what sucks? If you like throw it back

366
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 3: at him, he's gonna be so offended he cannot take

367
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 3: it right.

368
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 4: That's why you just don't. You just in one ear

369
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 4: out the other, and when you stop reacting, he'll stop

370
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 4: doing it. Hundreds of times is too many times to

371
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,680
Speaker 4: not get that, But it's hard with family. When I

372
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 4: started standing up for myself more, he began acting like

373
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 4: I was volatile and would tell people that I was

374
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 4: very feisty and opinionated. You'll want to tread carefully or

375
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 4: she might suddenly bite your head off. The jokes continued.

376
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 4: I'll be it more subdued, which brings us to yesterday's debacle.

377
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,920
Speaker 4: My parents invited me and my partner out for lunch

378
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,680
Speaker 4: and a walk in a nearby town. Everyone appeared to

379
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,040
Speaker 4: be having a good time until we had a snag

380
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:27,119
Speaker 4: over lunch where my dad kept loudly comparing my earrings

381
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 4: to cow tags. I responded that it's a good thing

382
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 4: I'm not a cow then, before turning back to my mom.

383
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,720
Speaker 4: Eventually we headed home, which is where my partner let

384
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,680
Speaker 4: me know that he'd prefer to keep a low profile

385
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,600
Speaker 4: with my parents going forward because things had been said

386
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 4: about me. Initially, he didn't want to divulge what but

387
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 4: I dragged it out of him. Oh no, not the

388
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 4: parents actually sabotaging their daughter's relationship.

389
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:54,240
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

390
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 3: See, I'm cool with you talking crap in front of me,

391
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,159
Speaker 3: but behind my back totally different thing. Totally different.

392
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 4: Apparently over lunch with me. In conversation on the other

393
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 4: side of the table, my dad told my partner that quote,

394
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 4: the more emotionally stable one of you two should get

395
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 4: their driver's license. I'm sure you know what I mean.

396
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 4: I took driving classes a few years ago, but had

397
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,160
Speaker 4: to quit because I kept needing extra classes and ran

398
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 4: out of money. I haven't picked it back up because

399
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,679
Speaker 4: I hate driving. Sounds like that's a good thing. I

400
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 4: don't have the money or space for a car, and

401
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 4: I can get around fine with public transportation. It might

402
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,880
Speaker 4: not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme

403
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 4: of things, especially considering our past, but it hurts so

404
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,679
Speaker 4: much to hear that. It crushed me that my dad

405
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 4: would insinuate not only that I'm too emotionally unstable to

406
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 4: function like a grown adult, but more than that, I

407
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 4: felt enraged and humiliated that he would make a comment

408
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,160
Speaker 4: like that to my own partner. I'm not gonna lie

409
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 4: if you. If you need so much driving school that

410
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 4: you run out of money, you probably shouldn't be driving.

411
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:57,920
Speaker 3: Jack as you got a pay for a car, pay

412
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 3: for gas, and pay for insurance.

413
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 4: No, I'm not to be clear, because I don't want

414
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 4: it misunderstood. I'm saying you might be just so bad

415
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,360
Speaker 4: at driving you should not do it.

416
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 3: I don't think that's what would be saying.

417
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 4: I think that is they took so many driving classes

418
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 4: they still did not pass. They ran out of money

419
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 4: for the driving classes.

420
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 3: I thought it was I took the like took the

421
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,119
Speaker 3: thing twice didn't get it, and then I was like

422
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,880
Speaker 3: super busy with other classes that just haven't had money

423
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,200
Speaker 3: to like do another class.

424
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,679
Speaker 4: No, I kept needing extra classes. I'm pretty sure it

425
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 4: means that you just kept they did not learn how

426
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 4: to drive, right.

427
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. If you can get around without driving,

428
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 3: I say, do it. It is a little frustrating not

429
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 3: being able to drive. Ima depend on others to drive

430
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 3: you around.

431
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 4: Depending on where you are. It's real doable, you know.

432
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 4: And yeah, it's like if I wanted to fly planes

433
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 4: and I failed plane flying class five times in a row,

434
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 4: I might reconsider flying planes. Just putting that out there, Yeah,

435
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 4: so to say it to my face is one thing,

436
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 4: But to drop that on my partner's head like that

437
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 4: in public, casually in conversation and expect him to smile

438
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 4: and not along is a whole different league. I bawled

439
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,239
Speaker 4: my eyes out for over an hour. I ended up

440
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 4: calling my parents, who had visitors over at the time,

441
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 4: so I asked them to call me back, and I

442
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 4: briefly explained to my mom that I was very upset

443
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 4: about something my father said to my partner earlier that day,

444
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 4: and when my dad called me back, I asked him

445
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 4: to get my mom as well and put me on speaker.

446
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 4: I asked him if it was true that he said

447
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 4: this to my partner, and he hemmed and hawed, initially

448
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 4: said that he didn't remember what he said, and then

449
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 4: loudly proclaimed, oh, yeah, yeah, I remember I did say

450
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 4: something like that, but you have to understand it was

451
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 4: just a joke. My mom interrupted him to ask what

452
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 4: he meant by that comment and got upset with him.

453
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 4: I stated that I was absolutely not okay with being

454
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 4: spoken about this way, much less to my partner, which

455
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 4: led my father to first say, oh, well, sorry, and

456
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 4: then try to explain that it wasn't that serious and

457
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 4: he didn't mean it like that. It was taken out

458
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 4: of con text, and it's a commonly known joke in

459
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 4: society that women can't drive and are emotionally unstable.

460
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 5: Haha, he's so funny.

461
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 4: You're so funny, busting out the classics.

462
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 5: Wow, everyone's laughing.

463
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, come up with some original content. Yeah, that's a stereotype, dude.

464
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 4: Let's get creative.

465
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 3: This isn't a joke. This is you like throwing a

466
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 3: pass aggressive thing around.

467
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 4: H Yeah, he's been an a hole. Want to hear

468
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 4: my joke? What's up? So the context for this story

469
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 4: time is that I was with my girlfriend at the time.

470
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 4: She's telling me a story about how her and her

471
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,920
Speaker 4: friend from her mouth terrible drivers.

472
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,679
Speaker 3: She said it okay.

473
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 4: She says they're both terrible drivers, and she's amazed that

474
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 4: they survived the road trip they went on. And then,

475
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 4: just as a joke, I put on like the count

476
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 4: voice from Sesame Street, and I said, what's worse than

477
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 4: one woman driver? Oo? Women driver? H h And she

478
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 4: did not like that joke.

479
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like if someone brings up.

480
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 4: But she said it up like that, sort of like

481
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 4: she gave she she teed me up. Yeah, she said

482
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 4: that they were terrible drivers, not me. I just played

483
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 4: into what she already established. But I had to learn

484
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 4: sometimes your girlfriends don't like your jokes.

485
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like, if you want a joke, hey, hope,

486
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 3: you gotta start being a comedian. Back at daddyo, be

487
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,959
Speaker 3: like when we can drive, and then you could be like,

488
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 3: well you think mayonnaise a spicy I don't know.

489
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 4: I just hit him with something like dad, what's my

490
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 4: favorite color here? And then when he doesn't know, be like,

491
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 4: you're a great Dad, and then yeah.

492
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 3: Here we go. Okay, Boomer, whatever you think Boomer called

493
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 3: him Boomer, Yeah, okay, Boomer be.

494
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 4: Like okay, weirdo, Okay, weird guy. Boom, You're so weird Dad,

495
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 4: You're weird guy.

496
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 5: But do more taxes?

497
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, do more taxes? Go to a you know,

498
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 3: country club. I don't care.

499
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 5: Gork on your golf swing. You suck at it, Boom,

500
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 5: and then he'll be, Oh.

501
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 4: I drove it in eighteen.

502
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 3: The other day he broke it.

503
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 4: Eighteenth shot, he shot all in one.

504
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't know what that was doing.

505
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 4: Anyway, Cy the craziest lie I shot in eighteen shut up,

506
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 4: oh man. I reiterated that I don't appreciate being spoken

507
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 4: to or about that way, especially to my partner, and

508
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 4: that this is far from the first time this has

509
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 4: come up. At this point, I just didn't know how

510
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 4: much clearer I could make it that I was not

511
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 4: okay with being labeled an over emotional, unstable simpleton by

512
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 4: my own father. My dad also started getting upset, and

513
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 4: it culminated in him shouting down the phone that it

514
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 4: was all being massively overstated and being taken out of context,

515
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 4: and that he had already apologized and refused to do

516
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 4: it again, and then he hung up. My mother ended

517
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 4: up calling me back half an hour later, with the

518
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 4: first question out of her mouth being, well, what's actually

519
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 4: the problem with your father's comment here? Is it just

520
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 4: because it's not female friendly about the driver's license, because

521
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 4: I mean, let's be real, you're not really prime material

522
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 4: for driving, but I mean neither am I. I told

523
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 4: her that it was about the fact that my father

524
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: said something outrageously sexist about me, his own daughter, to

525
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 4: my partner, and insinuated that I am incapable of being

526
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 4: a functional adult because I'm a woman, and that this

527
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 4: is just the latest in a long history of him

528
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 4: talking to me this way. But now he had gone

529
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 4: much too far. She responded, Yes, my dad is a

530
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 4: sexist stuck in the fifties in that regard. But I

531
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 4: should know by now that that's just how my dad

532
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 4: is and I should learn to accept it. And actually

533
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 4: they felt that after all they had done for me,

534
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 4: I wasn't really being very appreciative. Honestly, did I appreciate

535
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 4: what they did for me at all?

536
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 3: Ooh, so they gave you a house, like they figured

537
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 3: out your house thing with strings attached. Yikes, just because

538
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 3: you pay for something doesn't mean you get to say

539
00:24:54,640 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 3: what you do with my life anymore. Okay, okay, boomer, Okay.

540
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 4: She said she understood where I was coming from, but

541
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 4: felt like I had taken it too far and it

542
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 4: had been very upsetting for my dad, so he would

543
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 4: be keeping his distance for a while, but her and

544
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 4: I could definitely still talk. I told her that I

545
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 4: was plenty appreciative of what they had done for me,

546
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,640
Speaker 4: and I realized I was very lucky. But I sure

547
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 4: hope she agreed that I don't need to fall over

548
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 4: myself with gratitude for my dad's comments about me as

549
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 4: a person. This was met with some hemming and haweing

550
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 4: on her side, and then a sing song. Well, I

551
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 4: just hope we can all move past this soon. Anyway,

552
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 4: I'll be going good night. I'm just going to let

553
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 4: them stew if they want to apologize properly, the door

554
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 4: is always open, but they'll need to figure that out themselves.

555
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 4: In the meantime, I do have the overwhelming support in

556
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 4: love of my friends and my in laws, and my

557
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 4: partner is doing his very best to prop me up.

558
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 4: It has made me appreciate all the more how loved

559
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 4: and supported I am, truly, but God does it feel

560
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 4: lonely all the same, And we have an update. Looks

561
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 4: like it's a week later.

562
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds good to have everyone want to take some

563
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 3: time away from each other. Your dad definitely does have

564
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 3: a perspective on you and how he you know, he

565
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 3: should be received, how his uh, you know, he can

566
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,120
Speaker 3: do whatever he wants and that should be okay because

567
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 3: he has money and he can throw money. You know,

568
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 3: his money and his problems. But the baseline of this.

569
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 4: Is a lack of respect.

570
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he doesn't feel respected by you. You don't

571
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 3: feel respected by him. It's because of his actions, and

572
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 3: you're just you know what, you're mirroring his actions, Like

573
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 3: you're not gonna respect me. I'm not gonna respect you.

574
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 3: Why should I? And you're twenty four right?

575
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 4: Yeah. I don't even think op's really being that disrespectful.

576
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 4: It's it's just more like a no this when you

577
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 4: say these things, I feel like you're attacking my character

578
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 4: to my partner.

579
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just.

580
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 4: Like saying things that make me look bad. Yeah, I agree,

581
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 4: Why why are you? Why would you do that? But

582
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 4: in the dad's eyes, He's like, you're being disrespectful.

583
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: I paid for this. I did this. It's a very

584
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 3: transactional relationship. I pay for you, I get to make

585
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: fun of you.

586
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, and again that my all the way back to

587
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 4: the first thing I said in the story, stop doing this.

588
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 4: Don't be like you need to apologe what you said

589
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 4: was unaccepted. Just freaking move on. The weight of his

590
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 4: words should be like a feather upon you, because he

591
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 4: is just he is a doodoo brained sexist man stuck

592
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 4: in the fifties who doesn't see you as a you know,

593
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 4: fully fledged person. He just sees you as you know, yeah.

594
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 3: A woman. But this but this is her dad. That's

595
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 3: super hard to do, not taking what he says with

596
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,880
Speaker 3: a you know, as a feather. I guess I'm almost like.

597
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 5: After a what they've had this ten hundred times, So

598
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 5: that's how.

599
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 4: And that's how you learn. I wouldn't expect you to

600
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 4: get it at you know, instance number ten.

601
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 5: No, I remember, I was like that. My dad is

602
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 5: like that.

603
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,160
Speaker 6: I was like that too.

604
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 5: Yeah. I feel like all our dads were like that.

605
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 5: We were all like that, We like, oh, your grandfather,

606
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 5: my father did this YadA, YadA, YadA, and you're like,

607
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,880
Speaker 5: so you're gonna do what he did? All right?

608
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 4: Good to note, Yeah, I don't know. I would like

609
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,479
Speaker 4: I said I would. I think I would just go

610
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 4: back with like, just any information about yourself and see

611
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 4: if your dad knows it. It's like, dad, what what

612
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 4: is my Yeah, what's my favorite color? And he goes, oh,

613
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 4: how should I know that? They're your great dad?

614
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're like, well, my favorite color is red, great dad,

615
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 5: or should be read great dad? Aword like not blue.

616
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess we shouldn't be judging parents based

617
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 4: on if they know your favorite color.

618
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 5: But it's like, yeah, it sounds like Opie's dad. All

619
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 5: they know is just how to be a bully and

620
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 5: not be a dad.

621
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 4: We have an update. Well, ladies and gents. It's been

622
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 4: a week since everything went belly up in the family.

623
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 4: I've read all the comments that I received, the advice

624
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 4: and the support and the come to jesuses that I

625
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 4: desperately needed. First of all, I wanted to thank the

626
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: commenters for their input. It wasn't always easy to read,

627
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 4: but it's been a wake up call and it's giving

628
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 4: me strength to not buckle under the fog which brings

629
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 4: me to today all of half an hour ago, to

630
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 4: be precise. So last time, my dad hung up on me,

631
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 4: and I later received a phone call from my mom

632
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 4: or she let me know that he needed time because

633
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 4: this is very hard on him. I decided that if

634
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 4: he said he needed time and distance, that's fine, ask

635
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 4: and you shall receive. I didn't plan to reach out

636
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 4: for a while. I received a good night text from

637
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 4: my mom the day after, and my fiance received a

638
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 4: Happy Birthday the day after that. Both were responded to,

639
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 4: but politely but briefly. Somewhere during the past week, I

640
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 4: started writing a letter to my parents, outlining my issues

641
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 4: clearly and stating that the door was open if they

642
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 4: wanted to work on our relationship. I made it clear

643
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 4: that I did not find the way things were going

644
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 4: acceptable and that I wanted change in our dynamic. The

645
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 4: plan was originally to send it this Friday, but my

646
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: partner and I decided to give it another week, which

647
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 4: brings us to today. I received a message from my

648
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 4: mom asking how I've been. I sent back that the

649
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 4: past week has been rough. One would think that in

650
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 4: light of our last conversation, it would be clear why.

651
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: But apparently the hint didn't quite land, because I then

652
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 4: received a concerned message asking what was up? Did something happen?

653
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 4: Was it my work? After my eyeballs rolled into the

654
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 4: back of my head, I shot back that actually I

655
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 4: was very bothered by how our last conversation went. My

656
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 4: mom immediately called me, still concerned about if it was

657
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 4: something at my job. I'm sure it comes as a

658
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 4: surprise to precisely know one that my assessment that no,

659
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 4: it was the substantial falling out that we had just

660
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 4: one week ago that had me in a funk went

661
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 4: over about as well as a lead balloon. What followed

662
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 4: was a twenty minute defense that I was blowing this

663
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 4: out of proportion. They felt I wasn't listening to a word.

664
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 4: They said it was all just a joke and I

665
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 4: needed to just let it go. My very simple and

666
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 4: straightforward question of whether or not my father could promise

667
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: to henceforth keep his jokes to himself was apparently too

668
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 4: difficult to answer. He's John Og host.

669
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: We don't get back to the stories, but a quick

670
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

671
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: He's not gonna do it because he's gonna speak his mind.

672
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 3: Because he's a man and you should speak. It's his

673
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 3: way or the highway, is what I'm getting.

674
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's conversations where it's like, you're not listening to us,

675
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 4: and we hear you, but we don't care what you say,

676
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 4: so we're not gonna listen to you. You need to

677
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 4: listen to us. We hear that you're upset by the

678
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 4: things your father says, but that would require him to change,

679
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 4: So we're not listening to you. You need to change

680
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 4: and be okay with the things that he says because

681
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 4: we're your parents, which is I don't know if anyone

682
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 4: else is picking this up, a real dumb way to

683
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 4: think about that from the parents. This is also when

684
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 4: I found out my father had been lurking in the

685
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 4: background the whole time. I ended up suggesting we dropped

686
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 4: the call because we were clearly getting nowhere, which they

687
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 4: agreed with. We have a little bit more story left.

688
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 4: Do we have any closing thoughts here?

689
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,959
Speaker 3: Hopefully you can take time away from him and there

690
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 3: won't be repercussions financially, there might be. Hopefully you're prepared

691
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 3: for that, but it seems like, oh, if you're not

692
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 3: gonna respect me, I'm not gonna pay for XYZ. Be

693
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 3: ready for that.

694
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, me and my parents had a real contentious relationship

695
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 4: before I just stopped arguing. It's like, if the conversation

696
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 4: brought up something I knew we'd fight about, I just

697
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 4: did not have that conversation, and it works.

698
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: That makes a lot of sense.

699
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 4: You can't have an argument if half of the argument

700
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 4: decides to not engage. Argument doesn't happen. The fight can't

701
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 4: happen if you completely disengage from it, you know, and

702
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 4: you know, you just have to come to expect. My

703
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 4: dad's gonna try to pull some stuff like that, and

704
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 4: you go, oh, yeah, I guess I'm a big dumb woman. Haha,

705
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 4: funny joke. I'm a big stupid idiot. Dad. Thanks, And

706
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 4: then you move on and he goes, oh, was that

707
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 4: upset you? You go, no, I don't care. That was hilarious.

708
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, in a sense of protection of the dad's words.

709
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 3: Hope you feel was violated by that. But the dad's

710
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 3: not always poking jokes. Was the last time you said

711
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 3: I'm proud of you? Was the last time you said

712
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 3: I love you?

713
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 4: Yeah?

714
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: I actually knew this girl in college. She grew up

715
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 3: like this where her parents always joked at her. She

716
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: was very good at what she did. She was very

717
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 3: good at school, and her career is super good. But

718
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 3: when it came to her own relationships, she you know,

719
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 3: kind of haddad issues and would look for like, you know,

720
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: not the best kind of guys and not the most

721
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 3: healthy relationships because it wasn't I guess a model for

722
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 3: her in her own life, and it's it really was

723
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: hard for her. And I'm not a friend anymore, but

724
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 3: it was it was tough watching for sure.

725
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why Just be be nice empathetic people to

726
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 4: your children.

727
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, I'm just waiting for like not saying if

728
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 5: or you know, it's gonna happen. But when he comes

729
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 5: to the terms of like, oh I heard some of her,

730
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 5: I heard her feelings. I'm the bad guy. Now I'm

731
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 5: the victim. Oh yeah, it's gotta it's be like I'm

732
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 5: a terrible father and you're like, you know what, Yeah.

733
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm glad you can see that now.

734
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 5: And then you're gonna be you hurt my feelings and

735
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 5: you're like, what have you been doing the last twenty

736
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 5: four years?

737
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

738
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 4: Yeah? Pulling the actually all you do stuff ways, because

739
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 4: just the fact that you're or is really too much

740
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 4: for me, so I have to take a step back.

741
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 3: I'm super lame, low Ei, Yeah, well we are.

742
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 5: He's also got probably the probably pull the financial card

743
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 5: where he's like, I'm such a good father. I paid

744
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 5: for all of this, I paid for your education, I

745
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 5: did this, I bought you this the house, and you're like,

746
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 5: all right, that's half of being the parent is helping out.

747
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well let's finish this story, shall we shall.

748
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 4: I have since received another message from my mom saying

749
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 4: that they really hoped I could let it go, and

750
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 4: that my father had said sorry. I asked if that

751
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 4: meant he would stop with the jokes, and actually received

752
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 4: a response, this time saying that yes, that's what he said,

753
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 4: which is not what he said, but whatever. I haven't

754
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 4: responded to the last message, and at this point I

755
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 4: am not entirely sure how to proceed. I have decided

756
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 4: that I'll stick to low contact for the foreseeable future,

757
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 4: that I'll be working on paying off any and all

758
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 4: debts I have with them, and that any gifts or

759
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 4: offers of gifts will be politely turned down in the future.

760
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 4: Anybody else hearing the Benny hilltoon in the back of

761
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: their head, and that is the end of that story.

762
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 3: Is there an update on this? Let me check, dude, o'

763
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 3: pe good luck it's if there is an update. Dad

764
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,919
Speaker 3: can't did not take it well, Ei. His emotional intelligence

765
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 3: is very low, dude. It is so hard dealing mama Ei.

766
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 6: EI is low.

767
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 3: It's so hard dealing with men with low emotional intelligence

768
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 3: because they they do not know how to form their

769
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 3: words or anything like that.

770
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 4: Dude.

771
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 3: I used to work with these guys. They would just

772
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 3: talk talk at me for hours. They we would sit

773
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: down for dinner. They wouldn't even eat their dinner. That's

774
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 3: how much they talk. It was exhausting.

775
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

776
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, the dinner just gets cold while they speak.

777
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 4: Yes, nothing you got to say is that important? Boss, chief,

778
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 4: And all you would do was talk.

779
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 3: He wouldn't work, he wouldn't I'm so glad I was

780
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 3: out of that talking.

781
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 5: No update.

782
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 4: Having a meal put in front of me is one

783
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 4: of the only things that makes me show up.

784
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

785
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, uh, we got another story, guys. My mother demanded

786
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 3: I spy on my father's new family.

787
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 4: I spy with my little lie. Who's that guy?

788
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 3: My mother told me she can never trust me again

789
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 3: because I'm my father's daughter. At one sentence ruined our relationship.

790
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 4: As it should.

791
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Okay Mix eighty two

792
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 3: and if you want to your own stories, go to

793
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,919
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay stories. I'm Subreddit, I'm Riley.

794
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, and I'm Keon.

795
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 3: No p says for context, I'm female thirty seven. My

796
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 3: dad left the family for another woman he had been

797
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 3: cheating on with my mom for a year in twenty thirteen.

798
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 3: We were all super close growing up, and this happened

799
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 3: about three months after my now ex husband proposed to me.

800
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 3: It shocked us all to our course, and I remember

801
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 3: screaming at my dad everything you taught me was a

802
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 3: lie for about ten minutes and generally being hysterical. Two

803
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 3: days after this, my mom said those words that would

804
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 3: haunt our relationship forever. My sister is my full sister

805
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 3: three years younger. That sentence was kind of the beginning

806
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 3: of the end of my relationship with my mother. I

807
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 3: buried it at the time, but over the years, my

808
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 3: mom and I's relationship began to gradually deteriorate, while at

809
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 3: the same time I began to incrementally allow my father

810
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: back into my life. He and I had many talks

811
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 3: about what he did, and he took as much responsibility

812
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 3: as he could for how it affected me. He never

813
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: pushed into building a relationship with me. He allowed me

814
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 3: to guide that and we have been able to get close.

815
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 3: He married the woman he left my mom for, and

816
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 3: she's actually a lovely person who also allowed me to

817
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 3: guide our relationship and how I wanted to interact with her. Honestly,

818
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 3: if you cheat on someone, you better to be marrying them,

819
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 3: you have to.

820
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 4: I guess that's that's the logical it would It would

821
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 4: be like, well, you know, like if your sports team

822
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 4: loses to somebody, but then they won the Super Bowl,

823
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 4: You're like, well, at least you know, well we weren't

824
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 4: the only ones the lost, right like they they were

825
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 4: going all the way. Yeah that yeah, so yeah.

826
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 3: Also, you know how conflicting it is having Aaron Rodgers

827
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 3: on the Steelers. Why I don't know what to do

828
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 3: with myself.

829
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 6: Are you a Steelers fan?

830
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 3: I'm a Packers fan, and I love Aaron Rodgers, and

831
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 3: I don't want to be a Steelers fan, but I

832
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 3: think I might.

833
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,439
Speaker 4: Have to you can't be a Steelers fan.

834
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: I might have to.

835
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 4: Those don't exist.

836
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 5: And Michael Parsons come on, huh you have Micah Parsons though.

837
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 3: We got DK, we got DK metcalf two.

838
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy.

839
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 6: Packers are winning the Super Bowl this year?

840
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 3: Uh no, no, no Steelers. DK's on the Steelers. Oh okay,

841
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 3: yeah they're winning.

842
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 4: No did, Steelers aren't winning anything. Okay, Steelers are gonna

843
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 4: go nine to eight?

844
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 3: Godamn? Okay, sorry sorry sorry. So in the meantime, my

845
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 3: mom just kept talking about how she hoped my dad

846
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: would pass away and how awful he is. Fast forward

847
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 3: a few years, my ex husband decided he didn't want

848
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 3: to be married to me anymore. They told me one

849
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,919
Speaker 3: month before I had have a hysterectomy at thirty years old.

850
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 3: He said I gained weight and couldn't love a woman

851
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: my size. By the way, I did not have his

852
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 3: directed me for fun. I was dealing with major issues

853
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 3: from indometriosis. Indie metriosis month is in May? Is that right?

854
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,240
Speaker 6: I think it's metriosis has a month.

855
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:10,760
Speaker 3: It does.

856
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 4: We gave it a whole month, We gave it a home.

857
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: Where were you that month?

858
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 4: I guess it was. Every day was enshrining andrometriosis. We're

859
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 4: just bringing light to it.

860
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, every day? Is it April or May?

861
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 5: March?

862
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 3: I was about to say March, but everyone March's inter.

863
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, at least you found out your husband is sucks.

864
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 5: Also, who says like I'm gonna have a hysterectomy just

865
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 5: for funzies?

866
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 3: She said she didn't do it for fun.

867
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 4: No, no, no, yah.

868
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 5: Maybe it was just like a play on words. But

869
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 5: like I know, I just thought I didn't almost like

870
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 5: you're having that for fun.

871
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 4: Just didn't want my uterus anymore.

872
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 6: Thought it'd be fun if I got rid of it.

873
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 4: Just didn't want that.

874
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 3: I have a weird idea of what you will look

875
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: like in the table, and I don't know what it

876
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 3: looked like. Just looks like an organ, but I'm looking

877
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 3: at an organ like your skin. Ah help me. I

878
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 3: didn't get much sleep last night, and everyone my origin anyways, apologies.

879
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: I couldn't get out of bed for days on end

880
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 3: because of how much pain I was in, so working

881
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 3: out was out. My ex didn't cook. He reheated chicken

882
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 3: wings and fed me those along with energy drinks. Oh no,

883
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 3: wonder I gained so much weight. Anyways, I ended up

884
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 3: moving in with my mom and my sister, who was

885
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 3: married and her husband lives in the house too. He

886
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: and my sister live in the fully furnished basement, complete

887
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 3: with kitchenette and a full bathroom. I took the spare

888
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 3: room upstairs, across from my mom's main bedroom. The house

889
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 3: they live in is very nice and in a small

890
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 3: town in Wisconsin. Meta we were just talking about the backers.

891
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 6: A small town named Green Bay.

892
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 3: They are definitely she's heads. When I moved in December

893
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,840
Speaker 3: of twenty eighteen, my mom immediately wanted to put me

894
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 3: in the loc for her business, but I told her

895
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 3: I wanted to wait. This is a tax thing. She

896
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 3: could get probably up to twelve thousand dollars a year

897
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 3: tax right off.

898
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 4: Do it?

899
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 3: Because what because you're a dependent or probably a dependent,

900
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:02,479
Speaker 3: and also a family. I had given up my dream

901
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:06,320
Speaker 3: property with my custom horse barn, lost my husband, and

902
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 3: was still facing having a womb removed. I was not

903
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 3: sure what I wanted to do, but that really upset

904
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 3: my mom. She didn't say much, but I think we

905
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 3: all know what a pursuing of the lips mean. She

906
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 3: also told me I was not allowed to contact my

907
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 3: father while under her roof, so I would go on

908
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: long drives with my dogs and hike and talk to

909
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 3: my dad during my days off, and he was concerned

910
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 3: about the surgery and how I was doing with the divorce.

911
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 3: Fast forward to recovering from surgery January of twenty nineteen,

912
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 3: which takes six to eight weeks as it's a major

913
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 3: abdominal surgery. I was not allowed to even drive, so

914
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 3: I would sneak text to my dad at night to

915
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 3: keep him updated on how I was recovering. After the

916
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 3: first week, my mom started making noise about me not

917
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 3: doing enough around the house. I told her I was

918
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 3: still really sore and wanted to try and take it slow,

919
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 3: and she didn't seem to like that.

920
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 4: But with it, Yeah, ma, I only had an organ

921
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 4: yanked out of my body. Sorry, I'm not as spry

922
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 4: on my feet as I usually am.

923
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:09,840
Speaker 1: Sorry.

924
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, that.

925
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 3: Is crazy, dude. We just need more grace for people.

926
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:17,359
Speaker 3: We lived in a graceless world.

927
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 6: You're pretty graceful.

928
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 4: You are hell yeah you are me?

929
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

930
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 6: Really, I think dancing through the rain drops.

931
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 3: You just singing a song to me, A song oh,

932
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: I thought it was is it?

933
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 4: I've heard that before.

934
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 6: I don't know where that's from.

935
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 3: That's what I thought it was a song. So soon

936
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 3: after she started lecturing me about how she didn't get

937
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 3: any help, which she had her gallbladder removed and still

938
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,479
Speaker 3: had to carry me and my sister around the house.

939
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 3: She did this at the dinner table one night, and

940
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 3: I got mad and told her maybe she wouldn't have

941
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 3: so many health issues if she had listened to her

942
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 3: doctors and forced my father to help her out. More boom,

943
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 3: my sister chimed in siding with my mother, so I

944
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 3: began to cry my sister husband got up and left

945
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 3: the table at that point, which bothered my sister enough

946
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 3: to finally get her off my back. I went to

947
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 3: my room and cuddled my dogs. This was four weeks

948
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 3: after surgery. A few days later, my mom asked me

949
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: to carry cases of wine from the basement to her

950
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 3: truck so she could take them to her work for inventory.

951
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 3: I told her I would not be able to do

952
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 3: that yet, as I still wasn't allowed to drive. It

953
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 3: became another fight. Why don't she want you to do

954
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 3: so much stuff? Does she not understand how much recovery

955
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 3: time you need? Do you not understand she had her

956
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 3: freaking gallbladder removed? Oh, and she still had to carry

957
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 3: those babies around. So if I had to suffer, you

958
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 3: better believe I'm gonna make you suffer twice as bad,

959
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 3: because that's just what any good.

960
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 4: Mom would do in this situation.

961
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 3: You need to put interest on it.

962
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, my suffering has a crude interest. Get over here,

963
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 4: get I need to freaking give you an upper cut

964
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 4: to the abdomen.

965
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 3: Is there anything else she could have done? Also, the

966
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 3: sister's husband can he not help? I don't know. This

967
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 3: is weird. I do not like this.

968
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,959
Speaker 4: She's just antin um mean lady. She's a mean lady.

969
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:06,439
Speaker 4: Any parent who's like actively telling their kid after they've

970
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 4: had a divorce that it's like your dad's evil and

971
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 4: you should hate him, and I hate him and he's

972
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 4: the worst blah blah blah blah blah. It's just a

973
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 4: despicable thing to do to your kid. Let your kid

974
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 4: decide how they feel about their parents, you know, says I.

975
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 3: Started feeling really guilty, so I gave her money to

976
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,399
Speaker 3: redo the flooring in her basement and in the guest

977
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 3: room and cover the new paint for both areas, and

978
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 3: bought her a few nice things around the house. I

979
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 3: spent around two to three thousand dollars to try to

980
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 3: keep the peace. Once I was healed, I decided to

981
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 3: get a job at a horse farm. Tell me lose

982
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,760
Speaker 3: some weight. I still had some money on my savings account,

983
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: and while I knew it wasn't going to pay well,

984
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 3: I needed the mental comfort of being around horses again

985
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 3: since mine were still with my ex. I've been with

986
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 3: horses since I was three. I used the money in

987
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: my sizeable savings to help pay for food and whatever

988
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 3: else my mom needed, and spent my time gaining my

989
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 3: strength back mentally physically at the horse barn. But my

990
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: mother and sister were pissed at my choice of jobs

991
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 3: and kept telling me I needed to get back into

992
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 3: my profession. I told them I wasn't ready. They didn't

993
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 3: like that answer. Sounds like you gotta move, man. Can

994
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,919
Speaker 3: you live with your dad? Is that a possibility?

995
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

996
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 4: You I don't know, man. Sounds like the mom is

997
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 4: the worst, Yeah, parent, even though your dad didn't have

998
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 4: the custody.

999
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't seem like your mom is understanding where

1000
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 3: you're coming from. If you're going through a divorce and

1001
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 3: just had a huge lost your house and then had

1002
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 3: a huge surgery, go work at a horse farm.

1003
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 4: Go fish out horses. Did If your daughter loves horses

1004
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,959
Speaker 4: and she's working at the horse farm recovering from a hysterectomy,

1005
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 4: just let her work at the horse farm. Do fist

1006
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 4: she has?

1007
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:47,919
Speaker 6: Are you talking about?

1008
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 3: I don't know, this is weird.

1009
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 4: Hey, it's Sean here.

1010
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

1011
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: three minute break with the aswer More sponsors.

1012
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 3: The breaking point came a couple of months later, July

1013
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 3: twenty nineteen, when my sister and her husband decided to

1014
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 3: get pregnant on purpose. I wasn't sure how I felt

1015
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,240
Speaker 3: about it. I mean, just lost my ability to carry

1016
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 3: a child, but kept quiet about it. A couple weeks later,

1017
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,760
Speaker 3: August twenty nineteen, they announced they were pregnant. I began

1018
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: to internally panic while congratulating them. The timing felt cruel

1019
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 3: where I was still recovering from losing my ability to

1020
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 3: have children and my sister was flaunting her pregnancy in

1021
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 3: front of me every day. I feel like that's your

1022
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 3: perspective on it. I don't know. Maybe she was, but

1023
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 3: I don't think she got pregnant on purpose. They probably

1024
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 3: wanted kids.

1025
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 4: And yeah, I could feel like flaunting, but it's like

1026
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 4: that also could definitely happen where it's like, you know,

1027
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 4: like if somebody loses a relative and then you're around

1028
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 4: them and all you do is go, oh, I hung

1029
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 4: out with my relative. I hung out with this relative

1030
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 4: all week, all day, all whatever, and it was so great.

1031
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 4: Oh my god, my Relti's coming intown. Oh they're moving here,

1032
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 4: blah blah blah. It's like you should have the wherewithal

1033
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 4: to know, like, maybe don't talk about that so much.

1034
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 4: Even though it's a good thing in front of this person,

1035
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 4: it's not a very you know, tactful thing to be discussing.

1036
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 3: I was hanging around someone that their girlfriend has recently

1037
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 3: cheated on them. I was about them and like, oh,

1038
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: I'm getting call from my girlfriend. But I was like,

1039
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: I got a call coming.

1040
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1041
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a crazy story.

1042
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, it does sound a little sounds a

1043
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 6: little juicy.

1044
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 3: Dude, I'll give you. Yeah, he's gonna run a red

1045
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 3: a story. Okay, So I started throwing out resumes and

1046
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:24,320
Speaker 3: decided to throw a couple out to California near my

1047
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 3: dad just to see what happened, and sure enough, a

1048
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 3: business in California likes me, and I decided to go

1049
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 3: there and move out. I was not dealing with my

1050
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 3: sister's pregnancy well, and I was not dealing with my

1051
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 3: mother very well. Of course, she and my sister got

1052
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 3: angry I was leaving, but I couldn't handle being there anymore.

1053
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 3: They get mad at you for having a job, they

1054
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 3: get mad at you for out helping out, they get

1055
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 3: mad at you for leaving.

1056
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 4: You can't do anything.

1057
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 3: I moved to California within the month, and my relationship

1058
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 3: with my mom and sister has just fallen apart since

1059
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 3: twenty nineteen. Now, my mom demands I spy on my

1060
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 3: dad and give her information about how much money he

1061
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 3: makes and his relationship status with my step mom, and

1062
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 3: when I don't do that, she could be all right

1063
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 3: every single time, and my sister does the same thing.

1064
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 3: We got into a huge fight last month where my

1065
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 3: sister told me I just abandoned him, and my mom

1066
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 3: got pissed once again because I won't spy on my

1067
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 3: dad for her. My sister blocked my phone and blocked

1068
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 3: me on all of our socials. My mom hasn't blocked

1069
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 3: me yet, but I'm not calling her either. Dude, so weird.

1070
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 4: It's like, what do you want op to do?

1071
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 3: Huh, nothing's gonna make you happy. This is the best call, Opie. Uh,

1072
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 3: I'm proud of you for doing this. Moving to California

1073
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 3: has changed many of our lives. Has definitely changed two

1074
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 3: thirds of the people in this room's lives.

1075
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1076
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 6: One guy was just born here.

1077
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, he just spawned here.

1078
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 5: What's up?

1079
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 3: He just didn't have to drive as much? Were you

1080
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 3: born here?

1081
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1082
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,359
Speaker 3: You questioned were you conceived here?

1083
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1084
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 3: That's that.

1085
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 5: That's what I wanted to know, was I I'm pretty

1086
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 5: sure I was. No, I have a question.

1087
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 4: We want to know every I don't want your conception

1088
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 4: kean yep?

1089
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 5: Where I was born in Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills.

1090
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 3: How what was the rank of the conception Hetiti.

1091
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 5: One month early?

1092
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 4: One ghost out of ten?

1093
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. Anyways, so the irony isn't lost on me. My

1094
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,879
Speaker 3: mom said she couldn't trust me because I'm my father's daughter,

1095
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: but now she wants me to betray that same father

1096
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 3: to prove my loyalty to her, It'll never be enough.

1097
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 3: Obi she wants me to become the spy she always

1098
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 3: feared I would be, except working for her instead of him.

1099
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 3: It's like she's turning me into the worst possible version

1100
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 3: of myself of what she accused me of being or

1101
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 3: her somos is that my sister, who I thought would

1102
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 3: understand what it felt like to be got in the

1103
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 3: middle of our parents' mess, has completely turned against me.

1104
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,280
Speaker 3: She has chosen sides in a war I never wanted

1105
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 3: to find. Every conversation with either of them becomes an

1106
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 3: interrogation about Dad's life, and when I refuse to participate,

1107
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 3: I become an enemy. I keep thinking about that moment

1108
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 3: when my mom first said she couldn't trust me. I

1109
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 3: was just as devastated by Dad's this betrayal as she was,

1110
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 3: maybe even more so because I had put him on

1111
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 3: such a pedestal. But somehow, in her mind, sharing his

1112
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:14,320
Speaker 3: DNA made me complicit in his crimes. That accusation planted

1113
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 3: a seat of doubt that grew into this monster of

1114
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,959
Speaker 3: resentment and suspicion that's now consumed our entire family. Ah.

1115
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 3: The truth is, I'm not spying for anyone. I'm not

1116
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 3: choosing sides in their divorce. I'm just trying to have

1117
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 3: conversations with the people I love, even if they've hurt

1118
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 3: each other. But apparently that's not allowed in my family.

1119
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 3: You're either completely loyal or you're a trader. There's no

1120
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 3: middle ground for forgiveness or healing or just trying to

1121
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 3: move on. So here I am in California, thousands of

1122
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 3: miles away from the drama, but still somehow drowning in it.

1123
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 3: My phone buzzes with angry texts from my mom demanding

1124
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 3: updates on dad's finances. Even if he had updates on

1125
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 3: his finances, you're not going to get any of it, right.

1126
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 4: You should be like, he has no money. You should

1127
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 4: be like, we're actually all standing on the corner right now, begging.

1128
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 4: That's what that's actually what he does all day. He uh,

1129
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 4: And he goes to the golf course and he drinks

1130
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 4: the water in the pond there because he can't get

1131
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,359
Speaker 4: any water any other way.

1132
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 3: You can make an AI video of him doing all

1133
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 3: that stuff and she'll believe it.

1134
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 4: M Yeah, just be like, yeah, he actually, like I

1135
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 4: don't know, he goes around to restaurants and he asks

1136
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 4: for their used sponges and he eats those. He's disgusting.

1137
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: He's a cereal SpongeBob eater and I should have listened

1138
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 3: to you. But I'm gonna stay here, and I'm gonna.

1139
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,439
Speaker 4: Stay here to take care of him because he eats

1140
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 4: a lot of sponges and it takes a lot of

1141
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 4: work to keep him alive.

1142
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 5: Uh.

1143
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 3: My sister posts passive aggressive social media updates about family loyalty.

1144
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 3: Then I can't even see anymore because she's blocked me everywhere.

1145
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 3: I'm left wondering if the problem is really them or

1146
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:55,799
Speaker 3: broken as I think.

1147
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 4: I know, the problem is your mom, and she clearly

1148
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 4: poisoned your sister to such a level that she's like,

1149
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,399
Speaker 4: I don't know. You guys are having like a Game

1150
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 4: of Thrones style like house war, and it's like it's

1151
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 4: not that important.

1152
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 3: Keani got anything nothing, not them anything else.

1153
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean no, clearly, you're not crazy. Your Your

1154
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 4: mom's trying to make you spot when did they get divorced,

1155
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 4: Like twenty thirteen, and this story is recent, so it's

1156
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 4: been like ten years. It's been a decade. She's asking

1157
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 4: you to spy on him financially she's a loser.

1158
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 3: Yep, she needs to move on. Basically, my mom and

1159
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 3: sister hate me, and I'm trying to figure out if

1160
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 3: I'm the problem. Did I abandon them when they need

1161
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 3: to be most? Am I betraying my mom by having

1162
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 3: a relationship with my dad? Or am I just a

1163
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 3: scapegoat for all the pain and anger and nobody knows

1164
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: how to process the worst part is that I miss him.

1165
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 3: I missed the family we used to be before everything

1166
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 3: fell apart. I missed my sister's laugh and my mom's

1167
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 3: terrible cooking and the way we used to gang up

1168
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 3: on Dad when he told us his awful dad jokes.

1169
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: But that family doesn't exist anymore. I don't know if

1170
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 3: it ever will again. Huh that was a crazy end to.

1171
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 4: Do that one. Well, I mean, yeah, I don't think

1172
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 4: it will because your mom is seems pretty dead set

1173
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 4: on not yeah that exists.

1174
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 3: And op, you're in a transitional state. You you have

1175
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,800
Speaker 3: gone through a divorce, you have changed houses, You're in

1176
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 3: a transitional season and focusing on settling in this new

1177
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 3: place in California. I think it's best because a lot

1178
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 3: of people go to California for opportunities and it's usually

1179
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 3: turns out great. So you're not You're down. You're down

1180
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,879
Speaker 3: right now. But the only way up is the only

1181
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 3: thing to go is up. You're gonna go up for now. One,

1182
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 3: it's easy. Yeah.

1183
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,320
Speaker 4: The moment that you like are going through a procedure

1184
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 4: like that, like a hysterectomy and then reckoning with all

1185
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 4: that that includes. And your mom is anything short of

1186
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 4: just like supportive and understanding. Yeah, she's a she's she's

1187
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,359
Speaker 4: a bad she's bad for that. Yeah, she is bad.

1188
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 4: She's a bad mom for that. Yeah, agreed, because a

1189
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 4: good mom would be nothing. But like what you need,

1190
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Take as long as you need to recover.

1191
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 4: Take as long as you need.

1192
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll get someone else to get the wine from downstairs.

1193
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 6: Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay.

1194
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 3: Here's some snacks.

1195
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 6: Take your time, take it back to normal, Sez.

1196
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 3: Here's a cute dog video I found.

1197
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, instead, she's like.

1198
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 4: Get the wine, wench, wake up, wake up. It's it's

1199
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 4: go down to the basement o' clock and get me

1200
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 4: my wine o'clock.

1201
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:31,280
Speaker 3: Yeah tough, but guys, guys, let's the end of that story.

1202
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 3: Thanks for watching. If you love us. Make sure to subscribe.

1203
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 4: We love you and see you tomorrow.