Speaker 1: Okay, hi, everybody. Some tour dates coming up. I'm doing
Speaker 1: two shows in Winnipeg. That's Winnipeg. I want to say
Speaker 1: in Manitoba, Canada, but I could be wrong. Anyway, It's
Speaker 1: in Canada March tenth and March eleventh. There are still
Speaker 1: tickets for the March tenth show, so pick those up.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Toronto two shows, still tickets for the
Speaker 1: second show available. Then I go to Ottawa and then
Speaker 1: I kick off my American portion of the tour, picking
Speaker 1: back up April fourt in Iowa, Ceda Rapperts, Iowa, and
Speaker 1: then Des Moines, Iowa, and then Omaha, Nebraska. One two
Speaker 1: three punch go to Chelsea Hamla dot com for the
Speaker 1: rest of the cities that I will be touring in.
Speaker 1: And we are picking back up my Vaccinated and Horny
Speaker 1: tour after my brief ski rescipite. So we had a
Speaker 1: little dipsy doodle skiing this week. Um. First of all,
Speaker 1: good afternoon, everybody. Hi, Hi, Hi, Catherine, Hi Joe KOI
Speaker 1: does not like to ski in the trees, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people are scared of the trees. I love
Speaker 1: the trees, but I try not to force him down
Speaker 1: the trees. But I try to go in trees where
Speaker 1: there's space so that he doesn't have to make any quick,
Speaker 1: fancy moves. And I take him in the trees a
Speaker 1: lot to practice so that he'll start to like the
Speaker 1: only way to get better it's something, is to continually
Speaker 1: do it right anyway, So we there was a huge,
Speaker 1: huge snow dump in Whistler, and now I'm speaking like skiers.
Speaker 1: There was a huge dump and we went through the
Speaker 1: woods and we were with my guide Kelly, who is
Speaker 1: an excellent skier, and Joe could not get his skis
Speaker 1: underneath him. They just he was falling left, right, and center,
Speaker 1: and he skied pretty much into a tree. It wasn't
Speaker 1: a big tree. So I was like, honey, stay there,
Speaker 1: I'll come up because I was beneath him. I had
Speaker 1: skied down. I was down like twenty well probably first
Speaker 1: I was like, funk do I take my boots off
Speaker 1: from my skis because that's a big no no, and
Speaker 1: skiing like you never want to be in your boots
Speaker 1: because you don't know how deep the powder is going
Speaker 1: to be, and then you could sink all the way down.
Speaker 1: So you need your skis because they're like a boat.
Speaker 1: So I was like, fun, fun. So I took them
Speaker 1: off and I started to climb up. I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm strong enough. I'm a mountain woman. Now
Speaker 1: I knew how to do this. I'll go get him.
Speaker 1: And I could not, Like I did not have the
Speaker 1: stamina to step through the There was such deep powder
Speaker 1: and I was going up and so I called down.
Speaker 1: Kelly was another thirty feet beneath me, and I was like, Kelly,
Speaker 1: you gotta go get him. I can't. She's like, I'm crabbing.
Speaker 1: I'm crabbing. I'm coming. So and he the whole time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, stop moving because he's trying to navigate him. Say,
Speaker 1: he's trying to get himself out of the tree, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's it could be a tree. Well in
Speaker 1: that situation, just stay where you are, do not move,
Speaker 1: wait for someone to come. Is that like kind of
Speaker 1: quicksand Well, if you move around too much, you could
Speaker 1: get stuck in it. So if you're not stuck in it,
Speaker 1: just wait. You know, trying to get yourself out of
Speaker 1: it will help you get stuck in it. You know,
Speaker 1: that's a possibility. So she had to go up and
Speaker 1: get him. It took this stuck like forty minutes, and
Speaker 1: when he came down, he was like, where were you?
Speaker 1: He said, where were you? You know, like that was
Speaker 1: bad and where were you? And I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I was right down here. Joe was supervising the entire
Speaker 1: the entire thing, and he goes, you really need to
Speaker 1: think about that. I needed you and you weren't there.
Speaker 1: And I was like, honestly, I thought I would be
Speaker 1: putting both of us in danger if I came up
Speaker 1: when I knew we had someone. I go, if we
Speaker 1: didn't have Kelly, I would have come up and done
Speaker 1: it absolutely, but we had Kelly. And then I thought,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm pushing him too far, you know, like I
Speaker 1: don't want him to get hurt or injured, and it's
Speaker 1: funny to make him ski hard, and he's by the way,
Speaker 1: he's fucking great. He's going to be a better steer
Speaker 1: than I am by the end of this season. Anyway,
Speaker 1: just a little story to tell where I really felt
Speaker 1: like a piece of ship because I was like, he
Speaker 1: was right. I should have been right by his side,
Speaker 1: especially when I'm making him do something. Yeah. Well, and
Speaker 1: it's nice to know that you guys don't just only
Speaker 1: have a perfect wonderful relationship, like you have to work
Speaker 1: through some stuff too. Know. He calls me out on ship.
Speaker 1: You know what's so funny when we went to Canada,
Speaker 1: because I was so I was like, do not get
Speaker 1: this omicron Before we left in December, I was like,
Speaker 1: you cannot get omicron. I have to get into Canada.
Speaker 1: Ski is my happy place. I need this time this
Speaker 1: year in order. If I don't get into Canada because
Speaker 1: I test positive for a macron, like, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: pissed at you. So he's like, and I'm on him.
Speaker 1: He's on tour, he travels with the crew, so I
Speaker 1: always like, be careful, be careful. We get to We
Speaker 1: get to Canada and my friend and she was having
Speaker 1: us over. She goes, oh my god, I tested positive
Speaker 1: for covid omicron, like seven days ago. She said. Public
Speaker 1: health has cleared me. They said it's only seven days.
Speaker 1: It's been seven days since my first symptom. It's seven
Speaker 1: days now. I shouldn't have it, but I will be
Speaker 1: testing positive for it. They said I could test positive
Speaker 1: for it for eight days. I was like, oh funk,
Speaker 1: I don't care. We're here, let's go, We'll go over
Speaker 1: to Andrews. I bring my my own COVID test because
Speaker 1: I have them, and we give her a test and
Speaker 1: Joe looks at because Jesse, she's positive. And I go
Speaker 1: and go on the end of your garage, like just
Speaker 1: stand in the back of your garage, like wear your
Speaker 1: mask and stand in the back of roach. As the
Speaker 1: night went on, like different kids were coming down, She's like,
Speaker 1: you go upstairs. He's shedding. He's positive, he's negative. I was,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we're like in the hub of the
Speaker 1: omicron virus. So when we left there, like it took
Speaker 1: like a week, but Joe goes, I need to talk
Speaker 1: to you. He goes, You're a fucking hypocrite. He goes,
Speaker 1: you made such a big deal about me and being
Speaker 1: safe on the road and on tour, not getting omicron,
Speaker 1: not going to clubs, not going anywhere without my mask,
Speaker 1: he goes. And then we arrived in Canada and the
Speaker 1: first thing you do is dropped me in a den
Speaker 1: of COVID And I was like, he goes, you have
Speaker 1: one set of rules for yourself, and then you have
Speaker 1: one set of rules for everyone else. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you're fucking right. I just looked at it. I go,
Speaker 1: everything you're saying is right. I'm a hypocrite and you're right.
Speaker 1: And then he kept going, goes, but you go, Joe,
Speaker 1: You're right. I am You're everything is right. I'm wrong
Speaker 1: and I don't have any excuse and I have no defense.
Speaker 1: Let's press forward. Well, Chelsea, this week I got a crazy,
Speaker 1: crazy email and I really just had to read it
Speaker 1: to you. So the subject line is I knew I
Speaker 1: is alive when I heard Chelsea's voice. Dear Chelsea, I
Speaker 1: have an hour plus commute each way to work, and
Speaker 1: your podcast has been a staple on my drive. I
Speaker 1: love your directness, your delivery, and always your humor. Your
Speaker 1: podcast brings a much needed positive lift to my day
Speaker 1: to hear about other people's lives and listening to you
Speaker 1: and your guests advice all the different perspectives I truly appreciate.
Speaker 1: I was listening to your podcast on my way to work.
Speaker 1: I had twenty minutes of my drive left when another
Speaker 1: vehicle blew their stop sign and hit my car on
Speaker 1: the front right side. I was on a highway doing
Speaker 1: fifty five miles per hour and they had come from
Speaker 1: an intersecting highway also doing fifty. It all happens so fast,
Speaker 1: neither one of us had time to hit the brakes.
Speaker 1: I remember thinking this is happening, and then if this
Speaker 1: is how I go out, I'm going to be so piste.
Speaker 1: The air bag went off. I remember going up in
Speaker 1: the air and the feeling of being pitched up, like
Speaker 1: sitting in a rocket ready to launch. And then silence.
Speaker 1: And then when I heard your voice, Chelsea, coming from
Speaker 1: your podcast, still playing through my car speakers, I knew
Speaker 1: I was alive and still in this world. My next
Speaker 1: thought was, fuck, yeah, I'm here, and I was so
Speaker 1: grateful to hear your voice. I sit here today not
Speaker 1: knowing how I walked away from that experience alive. I
Speaker 1: have an upcoming surgery this week and recovery ahead of me,
Speaker 1: but I live another day to say thank you to
Speaker 1: the inspiring women out there like you, and I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for the love and support from my family and friends.
Speaker 1: Keep up your great work. Take care, tempy Vermir, Oh God,
Speaker 1: we're so happy you're alive. Tempy, Tempy, tempy Vermir. We
Speaker 1: don't usually share a last name on here, but what
Speaker 1: an excellent name, O, Tempy. Thank God, you're all right.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you heard my voice and that
Speaker 1: was a good thing. Oh lovely. Yeah, yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that and writing that. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it so yeah, I just wanted to share.
Speaker 1: And by the way, here is the picture she's sent
Speaker 1: of her car, and she said, ps, I'm attaching a
Speaker 1: photo of the car I walked away from and the
Speaker 1: Sealfie on Sunday and made my parents and fiance take
Speaker 1: with me because I'm alive to do so. For you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you never know everybody listening when you're going to be
Speaker 1: there in a moment where somebody really will never forget
Speaker 1: or really needs you. So it doesn't matter if you're
Speaker 1: famous or you're not famous, or you have a big
Speaker 1: platform or you have a small one. You can always
Speaker 1: have an impact on somebody's life. And it could even
Speaker 1: be a stranger's. So don't forget that. Our guest today
Speaker 1: is a New York Times bestselling author. He wrote a
Speaker 1: book called Think Like a Monk. He is the host
Speaker 1: of the number one health and wellness podcast. It's called
Speaker 1: On Purpose. I think I've been on that, Yes I have.
Speaker 1: And he's Calms newly appointed Chief Purpose Officer on the combat.
Speaker 1: He is going to have his own meditations coming soon
Speaker 1: or maybe already out. I don't know any minute. J
Speaker 1: Hi Ja Shetty, Hey, Chelsea, thank you for having so
Speaker 1: nice to see It's so nice to see you. It's
Speaker 1: been too long. Thank you. J J. This is Catherine,
Speaker 1: our producer. Hi. Nice to meet you. She co hosts
Speaker 1: this podcast with me. I love it. Yeah. So we
Speaker 1: saw each other probably two to three years ago, the
Speaker 1: last time we saw each other, and I came on
Speaker 1: your podcast. That's right, that's right, which was pretty awesome
Speaker 1: because we were talking about meditation and presents and therapy
Speaker 1: and we just met at Wisdom two point Oh oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's where we connected. Oh yeah, how would you that's
Speaker 1: a good idea. Let's start with that. How do you
Speaker 1: how would you describe that conference? So I was invited
Speaker 1: to speak at the conference, and you were speaking at
Speaker 1: the conference too, and Wisdom to point oh. I would
Speaker 1: define as a conference for introducing people to meditation spiritual practices,
Speaker 1: and it's like a community of people who are looking
Speaker 1: or seeking alternative practices for their well being. I think
Speaker 1: that's my best shot, but maybe yeah, well, I always
Speaker 1: just describe it as like a bunch of different like
Speaker 1: you know, neuroscientists, neurophysicists, like you know, just an esteemed
Speaker 1: group of doctors getting together to talk about what drugs
Speaker 1: are going to become legalized in the near future. Also
Speaker 1: because it's a lot about LSD, psilocybin and micro dosing
Speaker 1: and kind of guided meditation journeys through those things or
Speaker 1: without those things. So it's so it's a panoply of
Speaker 1: different kind of areas, but it's all under the same
Speaker 1: umbrella of betterment, right than well being. And I think
Speaker 1: the last time I spoke to you, I think you
Speaker 1: told me that you and your wife have like a
Speaker 1: three is it a three hour or two hours to
Speaker 1: our meditation practice each morning? Okay, So can you talk
Speaker 1: me through that a little bit? Absolutely, So it changes
Speaker 1: now because of travel and late nights, and so it's
Speaker 1: not always partying a lot these days. That's definitely no bodies,
Speaker 1: just just travel and work and whatever else it may be.
Speaker 1: So it's not always in the morning. But the practice
Speaker 1: consists of three types of meditation that I was trained
Speaker 1: in as a monk. So you have breathwork, visualization, and mantra.
Speaker 1: So I start with breathwork. I could spend anywhere from
Speaker 1: ten to fifteen minutes practicing everything from analom, vilom two
Speaker 1: coupla batti, breathing to make sure that I'm feeling connected
Speaker 1: and present with my body. Ill then move into visualization.
Speaker 1: This is something I pick and choose. I'll do that
Speaker 1: if i have something that I'm going to do that
Speaker 1: I'm nervous about. So I'll give you an example of
Speaker 1: where I used it recently. I last year decided with
Speaker 1: my wife that we would do lots of extreme challenges together.
Speaker 1: So we did everything from cold plunges to zip lines
Speaker 1: to skydiving our first time skydiving together. So the morning
Speaker 1: before I went skydiving, I visualized myself skydiving and I
Speaker 1: felt sick in the first seven visualizations, but in the
Speaker 1: eighth it was gone, and by the time I was
Speaker 1: actually jumping out a plane, I didn't feel sick at all.
Speaker 1: So I use visualization as a way of going through
Speaker 1: pet entual pain that I'm about to face so that
Speaker 1: I can experience it beforehand, or nerves, and then finally mantra.
Speaker 1: Chanting mantras has been a big part of my practice.
Speaker 1: There are some beautiful mantras out there and and there
Speaker 1: are a few that I focus in on, so it
Speaker 1: will be broken up into like ten fifteen minutes on breathwork,
Speaker 1: five minutes on visualization, and about an hour and a
Speaker 1: half on mantra. And I know that you are just
Speaker 1: that you just teamed up with Calm too. You're gonna
Speaker 1: have your own meditation series. I'm so excited about that.
Speaker 1: We just announced and now we have something called the
Speaker 1: Daily J on Calm. You can meditate with me every
Speaker 1: single day for seven seven minutes. I was gonna say
Speaker 1: seven days, seven minutes every day. And what it allows
Speaker 1: you to do is combine story, breathwork, visualization, all these
Speaker 1: meditations I'm speaking about and allows you to build your
Speaker 1: own practice for seven minutes, so you can get it
Speaker 1: right now. Great, awesome, that's great because everybody on this podcast,
Speaker 1: or are all of our listeners, are always attempting to
Speaker 1: learn how to meditate. So tell me somebody, for somebody
Speaker 1: who's been meditating for how many years now, seventeen years,
Speaker 1: seventeen years, how has your meda you should how is
Speaker 1: your practice changed during that time? I think my practice
Speaker 1: has changed because in the beginning it was very much
Speaker 1: about presence and stillness, and now it's also turned into
Speaker 1: uh connection for me, like spiritual connection, and that's where
Speaker 1: it started, but it's definitely evolved in that direction. So
Speaker 1: for me, meditation is connected to me feeling aligned with
Speaker 1: my purpose. It's a place that I remove what I
Speaker 1: call weeds from my heart. So I'll look at negative
Speaker 1: intentions or energies, and I'll look at meditation as an
Speaker 1: opportunity to actually take stock and take order of where
Speaker 1: I am and use it to purify and cleanse myself.
Speaker 1: So I look at like, where did I feel an
Speaker 1: emotion this week that I wasn't happy with how I behaved?
Speaker 1: Or how did I speak to someone this week that
Speaker 1: actually it doesn't make me feel good about myself? How
Speaker 1: can I purify myself of that? So, to me, the
Speaker 1: purification aspect of meditation has become a big priority for
Speaker 1: me now, more than just the presence and stillness that's
Speaker 1: in my personal practice. Yeah, I think it's interest when
Speaker 1: you talk about for anyone really, because like you have
Speaker 1: certain habits or maybe bad behaviors, you know, quick responses
Speaker 1: or reactions to things, and then over time, as you
Speaker 1: practice not reacting so much to those things when you
Speaker 1: do have a blip and you do react in a
Speaker 1: way that you're not happy with. It's very much on
Speaker 1: the surface right away, like there's no denial or defensiveness,
Speaker 1: which is what got you out of it, you know.
Speaker 1: Years ago for me, i'd be like, you know, I
Speaker 1: tell three people and they all tell me I was right.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, that's good. I did the right thing.
Speaker 1: Now it's like, I don't tell anybody. I know I
Speaker 1: was wrong and it's right there, and I'm like, that
Speaker 1: wasn't the nicest way to response to that. And if
Speaker 1: those things happen close together, I get nervous. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're you know, regressing. You better make sure because I
Speaker 1: look at meditation now, I'm nowhere, you know, near what
Speaker 1: you're doing. I never trained or studied with monks or
Speaker 1: anything like that, obviously, because they would have kicked me out.
Speaker 1: But did they did they ask you to leave? It
Speaker 1: thought you were fully It's not you, it's me kind
Speaker 1: of situation. It's like a break up. Like it's like
Speaker 1: I said to them that I think I should leave
Speaker 1: because I think I got this self awareness that I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm a monk anymore. And they said to me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we think that's a good idea. They said to me,
Speaker 1: We feel you should leave so that you can share
Speaker 1: what you've learned. And that's that's how they said it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's what you're doing trying definitely. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: think with regard to making little blips or making little mistakes,
Speaker 1: it's like you you kind of learned to navigate away
Speaker 1: from the bigger ones and learned to be more sensible
Speaker 1: in your reactivity and you know what kind of you know,
Speaker 1: the way you're communicating with people. But when it does
Speaker 1: come up, it's definitely an enlightened or more enlightened person
Speaker 1: is definitely much more hip to go Okay, oh that's
Speaker 1: not a good thing for me to be doing or saying. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and so okay, so what have you been up to
Speaker 1: professionally in the last couple of years, because you you're everywhere,
Speaker 1: you know, you're like Deepak Chopper Jr. Sorry if that's sorry,
Speaker 1: that's not one of your love If you don't look
Speaker 1: up to deep No, I have so much respect for Deeper.
Speaker 1: I have so much respect for so many people who
Speaker 1: I think have come before me in this world of
Speaker 1: trying to serve, trying to share, and so I have.
Speaker 1: I have only good things to say about deep Back.
Speaker 1: For sure. He's he's wonderful in person. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: love i Eckartole is my like. I love to listen
Speaker 1: to that because he seems so far removed from well,
Speaker 1: real life, you know what I mean. It's almost like,
Speaker 1: you know, when I think about meditation, I think of like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is my time to like be respectful to the
Speaker 1: universe and say I'm here to be still in quiet
Speaker 1: to make myself good for today, you know, to give
Speaker 1: myself the calm that I need for today and the
Speaker 1: focus and the good intentions and all of the things
Speaker 1: that come with it. And I find his writing and
Speaker 1: his words to be they're very deep, and a lot
Speaker 1: of people are not into that, like how deep it goes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, for me, when I started
Speaker 1: my work, my genuine goal was to help build a
Speaker 1: pathway for people to go as deep as they wanted
Speaker 1: to go. I was very fortunate to study the bug
Speaker 1: with Geta and text that are five thousand years old,
Speaker 1: and I love talking about them and I love sharing them.
Speaker 1: And in my book Think like a Monk, I'll take
Speaker 1: out a verse and put it into a chapter, and
Speaker 1: I've seen people really be able to gravitate and appreciate it.
Speaker 1: But I also find that some people just want to
Speaker 1: feel better right now. And so with my work over
Speaker 1: the last two years, and of course we can dive
Speaker 1: into different parts, but my ultimate goal is to help
Speaker 1: people bridge that gap from entertainment to education to enlightenment.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the journey that I'd love for
Speaker 1: entertainment to reach as many people in the world as possible,
Speaker 1: education to reach those who want to take that step
Speaker 1: into their own self development and personal growth, and then
Speaker 1: enlightenment as a journey that people can take if they
Speaker 1: want that too. And so I think building that bridge
Speaker 1: is so important because if I look back at how
Speaker 1: I was as a teen, if you told me about
Speaker 1: any of that journey, I'd be like, give me the entertainment.
Speaker 1: I don't want any of the other stuff. And so
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm trying to go back and connect
Speaker 1: with my younger self or anyone who reminds me of
Speaker 1: my younger self where I grew up, saying well, why
Speaker 1: do I need any of this stuff? And and as
Speaker 1: time has gone on, I've seen the value of it
Speaker 1: and when you're doing what you're doing because you're combining
Speaker 1: two worlds, right, You're dividing deep spirituality with also awareness
Speaker 1: and you you're on a mission for that. So how
Speaker 1: do you kind of when your ego is something that
Speaker 1: is so not necessary and spirituality but it's kind of
Speaker 1: useful in this business, how do you reconcile the two.
Speaker 1: So it's really interesting. I spoke to my monk teacher
Speaker 1: when I decided I was going to move to l A,
Speaker 1: and the first thing he said to me is, you're
Speaker 1: moving to the capital of illusion, and you should be very,
Speaker 1: very cautious. And here I was going, well, why are
Speaker 1: you not excited for me? Like, I've got so many
Speaker 1: opportunities coming my way and I'm so looking forward to this.
Speaker 1: And he said, you should just be cautious of Maya.
Speaker 1: Maya is illusion, another word for illusion in Sanskrit. Said
Speaker 1: you should, you should be careful, you should be cautious.
Speaker 1: And what I've realized is I'm really lucky to have
Speaker 1: amazing mentors. He's seventy years old, he's been a monk
Speaker 1: for forty years. I'm so fortunate to have these incredible
Speaker 1: role models in my life who I've seen display and
Speaker 1: embody humility and constantly remind me of its value. So
Speaker 1: as a monk, you're trained that the most admirable quality
Speaker 1: in anyone is their humility, their groundedness. And so we
Speaker 1: were like, you know, that was like repeated again and
Speaker 1: again and again to us every day, and then when
Speaker 1: you get to see it in someone, I think one
Speaker 1: of the challenges with ego and humility is that I
Speaker 1: would like everyone who's listening right now to genuinely think
Speaker 1: about how many people they've met in their life that
Speaker 1: they believe genuinely display humility, not just groundedness, so not
Speaker 1: just being not up themselves, are not arrogant, genuine humility.
Speaker 1: And I think it's hard. I think it's actually very difficult.
Speaker 1: And I would say I've been really fortunate to have
Speaker 1: spent time with people that I think display it so
Speaker 1: deeply that they call it out in me all the time.
Speaker 1: So that's the first thing. The second thing I'd say
Speaker 1: is that I really enjoy the grapple with my ego,
Speaker 1: like I really enjoy the wrestling process of it. I
Speaker 1: think one of the things we were trained in was
Speaker 1: to relish the battle. That if you don't relish the battle.
Speaker 1: If you don't and start enjoying the fact that you
Speaker 1: are going to come up against your ego every day,
Speaker 1: it's gonna wear you out, like it's gonna tie you
Speaker 1: out and drain you and leave you on the street.
Speaker 1: Because your ego is the toughest boxer in the world.
Speaker 1: Your your ego is Floyd Money Mayweather and your little
Speaker 1: old you, And so if you don't enjoy that fight
Speaker 1: and the training, it's going to be really tough. So
Speaker 1: I've realized that I love putting myself in positions where
Speaker 1: my ego is actually going to rise, and then being
Speaker 1: aware and slowly coaching it out of it and guiding
Speaker 1: and then working with it, rather than being so detached
Speaker 1: from everything where you could think you've solved your ego
Speaker 1: but actually you just haven't tested it. There's a beautiful
Speaker 1: story about Benjamin Franklin who had what I believe were
Speaker 1: called the thirteen precepts, which were thirteen things that he
Speaker 1: aspired for simplicity, authenticity, and agrety. Uh And at the
Speaker 1: end of his life he was asked what was the
Speaker 1: one that he didn't accomplish, and he said it waste one.
Speaker 1: And they asked him what's that? And he said humility
Speaker 1: And I think humility is that constant pursuit and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: if that anyway, I went off on the whole time,
Speaker 1: like I love listening to you because I like what
Speaker 1: you said about ego. I like the idea of challenging yourself,
Speaker 1: having it rise up and seeing how you handle that,
Speaker 1: because that comes up for me a lot. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously in in my what I do, it's like, am
Speaker 1: I doing this for even a paycheck? Is ego? It's
Speaker 1: related to ego? Even you know, am I what? What
Speaker 1: are the reasons I'm doing this? And to be practical
Speaker 1: because obviously I'm in this of this world and I
Speaker 1: have to you know, participate and make a living. But
Speaker 1: I I like to check myself and go, Okay, why
Speaker 1: is your reaction to this this and what is that
Speaker 1: ego based? And if it is, then remove that. That's
Speaker 1: not the reason you're going to react. You just you
Speaker 1: Literally there's an activity that I do where I have
Speaker 1: lots of different opportunities, whether they be job opportunities or
Speaker 1: professional opportunities. I'll write them all down and then on
Speaker 1: top of each one, I'll write down my reason if
Speaker 1: I said yes or if I said no, and whenever
Speaker 1: the answer is not love, I know that there's some
Speaker 1: work to be done, so often I'll write down the
Speaker 1: word ego like you said, Oh, I would only do
Speaker 1: that for me, ego, I'd only do that for money.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I don't do it. It just means
Speaker 1: I'm aware that that is why I said yes to that.
Speaker 1: And let me be really clear on that, so that
Speaker 1: I'm not lying to myself, because the honesty is what
Speaker 1: helps me break down my ego, not the dishonesty of
Speaker 1: feeling like it doesn't exist. And so for me, I'm
Speaker 1: always trying to see can I write love next to that?
Speaker 1: Can I write love on top of that? And if
Speaker 1: I can, then that's beautiful. And if I can't, let's
Speaker 1: upgrade ego to love. Let's upgrade just money to love.
Speaker 1: Let's upgrade insecurity to love and keep working on that ladder.
Speaker 1: I know you wrote your own book, right, think like
Speaker 1: a mark? What are some books do that you read
Speaker 1: that our go choose for you? Like? Do you have
Speaker 1: anything that you can constantly referenced? Oh? Yes? So the
Speaker 1: bug Gueta, which would be considered the timeless epic of India.
Speaker 1: The Spiritual Text of India is probably my go to book.
Speaker 1: I find that most of what we read today is
Speaker 1: centered on the Guta in the betterment world and community.
Speaker 1: You know, there's so many chapters of modern day books
Speaker 1: that I could find as a core text inside the GUETA.
Speaker 1: So that's a go to guide for me for sure.
Speaker 1: You know, we just lost Tiko Han, an incredible monk
Speaker 1: teacher who passed away recently. Like his his work was
Speaker 1: just absolutely phenomenal. You pick up any book by tickno Hahn,
Speaker 1: it will it will really speak to your you know,
Speaker 1: speak to yourself. And then on the other end, I
Speaker 1: love behavioral economics. I grew up reading behavioral economics books
Speaker 1: and so like the sound of behavioral economics. Yeah I
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, So like I grew up reading Malcolm
Speaker 1: Gladwell and Dana Riley and all these incredible authors who
Speaker 1: have just studied human behavior. And so my life has
Speaker 1: always been how can I find the connection between behavioral
Speaker 1: economics and spiritual teachings, And so I'm always looking at
Speaker 1: the intersection of where do they meet? And they meet
Speaker 1: more often than we think, and we're it's like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: give us some examples of how they meet. So there's
Speaker 1: a there's a brilliant book called Predictably Irrational, and it
Speaker 1: talks about how humans make predictably irrational decisions. One of
Speaker 1: the best examples in there that Dana Riley provides is
Speaker 1: that if you want to get a date tonight, go
Speaker 1: with someone who looks like you, but it's a slightly
Speaker 1: less good looking version of you. And he goes, that's
Speaker 1: going to naturally improve your likability and people are more
Speaker 1: likely to choose you because we don't necessarily choose between
Speaker 1: A or B. We're choosing between a plus and a minus.
Speaker 1: So humans make predictably irrational decisions where we elevate someone
Speaker 1: in our eyes if something's close to it that feels less. Now,
Speaker 1: that's fine when it comes to dating, but he says
Speaker 1: that this is how we're completely manipulated by companies who
Speaker 1: give us three options. They sell something for forty dollars,
Speaker 1: seventy dollars, and a hundred dollars. But the hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: it's just got a bit more than that seventy dollars.
Speaker 1: So you let go of the forty dollars and you
Speaker 1: go and spend that hundred. Now, when you look at
Speaker 1: that as a technique. When you look back at the
Speaker 1: spiritual text, they talk about how our senses are limited,
Speaker 1: and how because our senses are limited, we often make
Speaker 1: poor judgment if we only see through our senses. And
Speaker 1: therefore there's this beautiful term in Sanskrit called shastra chuck shu,
Speaker 1: which means to see through the eyes of spiritual text,
Speaker 1: to see through the eyes of beyond our material vision.
Speaker 1: So there's something like that. Another one that I love
Speaker 1: is the idea around purpose. So a long long time ago,
Speaker 1: like we would have just said, oh yeah, purpose is
Speaker 1: a fluffy term and maybe it's not real and maybe
Speaker 1: it doesn't exist. All studies show today that when you
Speaker 1: live with purpose, you're happier. There's an amazing study by
Speaker 1: Yale and Amy Raznewski, and they did a study in
Speaker 1: what they believed was the most difficult job in the world. Now,
Speaker 1: the most difficult job in the world is not what
Speaker 1: any of us do. It happened to be hospital cleaners,
Speaker 1: and I think we can all agree with that. And
Speaker 1: that was before the pandemic, so I can only imagine
Speaker 1: how tough it is today. So they went an interviewed
Speaker 1: hospital cleaners and they asked them what do they do,
Speaker 1: and they were like, we clean beds, we clean toilets,
Speaker 1: we clean dishes, were clean up after people die. Like
Speaker 1: it's a really tough job. And so they then went
Speaker 1: and interviewed some other hospital cleaners. These cleaners describe themselves
Speaker 1: as healers, and they were like, why are you healers?
Speaker 1: They worked in the same hospitals, they did the same job.
Speaker 1: They said, because we see cleaning an environment as completely
Speaker 1: directly related to a patient's healing journey. We think that
Speaker 1: if we have a clean room, people's families will have
Speaker 1: deeper time there, they will spend more time there that
Speaker 1: were able to feel love and energy and positivity. They
Speaker 1: were happier in the same jobs, in the same most
Speaker 1: difficult job in the world. This is what text have
Speaker 1: been telling us always. Wayne Dyer said it when we
Speaker 1: change the way we look at things, the things we
Speaker 1: look at change. That is a spiritual truth, but we
Speaker 1: can see it through behavioral science. Now, Oh wow, I
Speaker 1: love that. Yeah, that's so true. I mean, once you
Speaker 1: change your lens, you know, you it's like being attracted
Speaker 1: to someone, It's like falling in love with your friend,
Speaker 1: which was what happened to be all of a sudden.
Speaker 1: You know, he was my friend for years and years
Speaker 1: and years, and I never looked at him that way.
Speaker 1: And then after therapy and after getting like I kind
Speaker 1: of knew way to look at everything, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is my guy. He's been standing here this entire time.
Speaker 1: But I just my lenses were dirty. That's amazing. That's
Speaker 1: filled with Canada. Yeah, it's a spiritual lens. That's a
Speaker 1: great example. I want to ask you a personal question
Speaker 1: about your relationship because you've been married for how many
Speaker 1: years now? We've been together for eight and married for
Speaker 1: six this year? Okay, and so does I would one
Speaker 1: would assume that all of this living with monks and
Speaker 1: all of your spiritual practice up until now would prepare
Speaker 1: someone pretty well to be in a married relationship. Is that?
Speaker 1: Is that a fact? I would say that it does
Speaker 1: if you apply it at the essence and the core.
Speaker 1: But if you apply immaturely then knows. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: would agree with you. I would agree with you so
Speaker 1: that if any when things come up and or if
Speaker 1: there's any sort of discourse or that's unpleasant like that,
Speaker 1: you're able to you and your wife because she practices
Speaker 1: as well, that you're able to handle it with a
Speaker 1: little bit more plum than a regular couple. Yes. So
Speaker 1: I when I wrote Think like a Monk, I dedicated
Speaker 1: to my wife, and the dedication reads to my wife,
Speaker 1: who's more monk than I'll ever be. And I really
Speaker 1: meant that. I wrote that because I wanted people to
Speaker 1: realize that she never trained as a monk. She does
Speaker 1: meditate every day, and she does have the similar practices
Speaker 1: to me, but you know, she just naturally has some
Speaker 1: of that in her life. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: she will be the first to tell you she gets
Speaker 1: so angry when I'm really calm, when we've just had
Speaker 1: a fight or she's saying something and I'm like, really still,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is how we're gonna deal with them.
Speaker 1: This we're gonna and she's like, she gets even more angry.
Speaker 1: So yeah, No, I I think that myself awareness that
Speaker 1: I gained during my time as a monk allowed me
Speaker 1: not only in the way you said it, you said
Speaker 1: this beautifully just now that since I left being among
Speaker 1: my wife's the only person that I've've been with and
Speaker 1: and you know, dated and now of course married to,
Speaker 1: and I felt that my self awareness of my values,
Speaker 1: what I believed in grew so clear that I could
Speaker 1: clearly see that we were going to work on this.
Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean it's been easy ever since, but
Speaker 1: I definitely feel that I have the tools. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite tools is called the austerity of speech. So
Speaker 1: this is a an old Vedic concept of the austerity
Speaker 1: of speech. So it says that you should speak words
Speaker 1: that are truthful, words that are beneficial, words that don't
Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others, and words that are aligned
Speaker 1: with spiritual knowledge. So that the fourth one is hard,
Speaker 1: but the first three truthful, beneficial to all, and don't
Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others. Now that third one is
Speaker 1: really tough for me, especially you're annoying me. It's I'm
Speaker 1: feeling very irritated, exactly, But that's exactly, and it's how
Speaker 1: do you learn to shape your language? So those are
Speaker 1: called the four asterities of speech. I call them the
Speaker 1: four gates before I say something. How can you walk
Speaker 1: through those gates? How can you actually take a journey
Speaker 1: and fill to what you're about to say, Not because
Speaker 1: you're trying to be politically correct or trying to do
Speaker 1: a technique you're doing it because you actually believe that
Speaker 1: what comes out of your mouth is now going to
Speaker 1: have more power. When you say to someone you're just
Speaker 1: annoying me, in one sense, you distance yourself from that person,
Speaker 1: whereas when you actually have a healthy conversation, you actually
Speaker 1: can become closer through that conflict. And so I think
Speaker 1: some of them. I mean, there's plenty more examples I
Speaker 1: can give, but those are the first two that came
Speaker 1: to mind. Well, you're gonna have an opportunity to do
Speaker 1: that because we're taking callers. Sometimes we get we get
Speaker 1: submissions that could be email or they could be on
Speaker 1: the phone on a zoom. You'll get to see them
Speaker 1: and they're calling just asking for typical life advice. Amazing,
Speaker 1: and it's pretty cute idea, especially from someone like me,
Speaker 1: you know, who has no business giving advice, is totally
Speaker 1: willing to do it. Yeah, well, let's take a quick
Speaker 1: break and we'll be back with some colors and emails.
Speaker 1: And we are back from break with j CHTT today. Hi,
Speaker 1: we're ready to Oh yeah already. Well it's about to
Speaker 1: get maybe a little bit harder because there's some serious
Speaker 1: questions today. So our first email comes from Caitlin. She says,
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I've been in a funk since becoming a mom.
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem to be postpartum depression or anxiety. I
Speaker 1: didn't really know what to call it until recently when
Speaker 1: I saw one of the Britney Spears documentaries. And although
Speaker 1: our situations are quite different, I can relate to the
Speaker 1: feelings of being confined, trapped, surveiled and controlled. That's totally it.
Speaker 1: I've lost my autonomy now that I'm a mother. I
Speaker 1: can't walk freely from one room to the other without
Speaker 1: announcing my departure and announcing my return. I can't go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom without someone watching me. I essentially need
Speaker 1: someone else's permission to take a shower because I can't
Speaker 1: just leave my kid unattended. I really like being a mom,
Speaker 1: but this is the hardest part for me to adjust to.
Speaker 1: Since the situation itself is not going to change, I
Speaker 1: think the only solution is to change my own mindset
Speaker 1: and reframe the way I think about my new reality.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for me, Caitlin, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think so. Well, what what do you think of that
Speaker 1: you go? First? First of all, I want to say Caitlin,
Speaker 1: thank you for being so honest. I mean, that's really difficult.
Speaker 1: I know, you know, I know a lot of moms.
Speaker 1: I work with a lot of moms. I'm you know,
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not a mother and and can't be one,
Speaker 1: and so I can't say I understand how you feel.
Speaker 1: But thank you for being so honest. I think it's
Speaker 1: really hard to say what you just said, so I
Speaker 1: really want to acknowledge that. The second thing I'd say
Speaker 1: is that you already have the answer that you want.
Speaker 1: The way you ended that question was the answer. Now
Speaker 1: the idea is how do you reframe? What do you reframe?
Speaker 1: So I'm just simply going to give you some suggestions
Speaker 1: according to what you think is the right way of
Speaker 1: doing it. Uh. The first thing I'd say around reframing
Speaker 1: your mindset is part of having children, as far as
Speaker 1: I know, is the ability to extend our love, compassion,
Speaker 1: and opportunity to practice. And kids are teaching us something difficult. Now.
Speaker 1: I know this because I've been thinking about having kids
Speaker 1: for a long time, but I've been putting it off
Speaker 1: for pretty much a similar reason to what you've just said,
Speaker 1: because I recognized that I am going to lose my
Speaker 1: independence and I am going to lose my lose my autonomy. Now,
Speaker 1: I know it's very different for a woman. There's even
Speaker 1: more pressure. When I look at the studies, they suggest
Speaker 1: that women are taking on even more of those responsibilities.
Speaker 1: So when I think about that, I go, how can
Speaker 1: you use this as a experiment in increasing your love,
Speaker 1: increasing your compassion, increasing your joy and being shared with
Speaker 1: someone else. We've been so used to experiencing our autonomy
Speaker 1: and getting joy from that, which is a beautiful model, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, I completely understand. But how do we
Speaker 1: now switch our joy from being from autonomy to being
Speaker 1: this relationship with this individual? And I know that when
Speaker 1: you allow yourself to go there, as you said, you
Speaker 1: already enjoy being a mom. And I don't think autonomy
Speaker 1: is just going to come back around, as you said,
Speaker 1: so to me, using it as an experiment in increasing
Speaker 1: your compassion, increasing your empathy, increasing your love is a
Speaker 1: beautiful way. And the second thing I'd say is definitely
Speaker 1: still find time, even if it is trading places to
Speaker 1: create that autonomous time. I think it may be less now,
Speaker 1: but if you can find that one evening a week,
Speaker 1: or maybe it's one day a month where you can
Speaker 1: carve out that time to be completely free and allow
Speaker 1: yourself to really explore that. Yeah, that's all great. Yeah
Speaker 1: I would say that too. I mean, it sounded like
Speaker 1: you already have the answer there yourself. You're just going
Speaker 1: through a little about of growing pains acclimating to the
Speaker 1: life of being a new mom, which so I mean,
Speaker 1: I just had this conversation with a girlfriend yesterday and Colleen,
Speaker 1: who was on our podcast recently, was talking about when
Speaker 1: you have a child, you become a slave to that
Speaker 1: child for the next five to six years. But what
Speaker 1: Jay said is absolutely right. You just you have to
Speaker 1: own that, you know what I mean, instead of letting
Speaker 1: it happen to you, you know, make it happen, make
Speaker 1: it what you want it to be, make it the
Speaker 1: relationship you want it to be, and carve out that
Speaker 1: time for you whatever you can afford to carve out,
Speaker 1: if you can afford to have a babysitter one night
Speaker 1: a month, even if you could go on play dates
Speaker 1: with other people who have the same age children, so
Speaker 1: it's taking some of the pressure off. So there's a
Speaker 1: group of people around because that way you can also
Speaker 1: commiserate with other people and that's a good feeling to
Speaker 1: a remind yourself that you're not the only one and
Speaker 1: that you're not alone. But to rise above this moment
Speaker 1: and to move forward after this moment is a huge
Speaker 1: opportunity for growth and a huge opportunity for you to
Speaker 1: become the mother that you always wanted to be. So
Speaker 1: you have a vision and a visual in your head
Speaker 1: of the kind of parent you want to be, Like,
Speaker 1: this is the time to start getting ready to become
Speaker 1: that parent, you know, and saying goodbye to your old
Speaker 1: self because that's that's not who you are anymore. Now
Speaker 1: you are a mother. You're still that person, but now
Speaker 1: you have a child. So that's not like the end
Speaker 1: of the world. It's the beginning of something really, really beautiful.
Speaker 1: And it's just about embracing the moment that you're in
Speaker 1: and being there and being present in every moment with
Speaker 1: your child that that you're that you can allow yourself
Speaker 1: to be present, because that's going to give you so
Speaker 1: much in return, instead of focusing on all the time
Speaker 1: you've lost for yourself, focusing on all of the things
Speaker 1: that you have now with another person. And what you
Speaker 1: said is you're already there, So you just needed us
Speaker 1: to nail that nail that hammer and or nail, I
Speaker 1: guess nail that nail. And I'm really not good with
Speaker 1: tools or any started sort of home improvements. And another
Speaker 1: thing you can do if your family can't afford to
Speaker 1: have a babysitter every weekend or as often as you
Speaker 1: might need to sort of have some alone time, you know,
Speaker 1: what you can do is find someone else, maybe they
Speaker 1: have a child a similar age to yours, but find
Speaker 1: somebody else who maybe it's some other mom or another
Speaker 1: couple who also needs a date night, also needs some
Speaker 1: time away, and just say like, hey, let's make a plan.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's every week, maybe it's once a month or whatever,
Speaker 1: but make a plan to say, hey, you guys need
Speaker 1: date night, and so do we You take the kids
Speaker 1: on Friday, we'll go out. We'll take the kids on
Speaker 1: Saturdays and we'll go out, or just I'll go out.
Speaker 1: And I think it goes back to what Jay said
Speaker 1: to about like the hardest job in the world or
Speaker 1: one of the hardest jobs in the world as motherhood,
Speaker 1: and having that reframing. Yeah, it's like they don't give
Speaker 1: you a psychological like warning. They just yeah, well know,
Speaker 1: a warning, like, this is how you're gonna feel, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to adjust because I've always said it's
Speaker 1: like nine months is not long enough to prepare for
Speaker 1: a baby. No time is long enough to prepare because
Speaker 1: one day you can leave your house and then the
Speaker 1: next day you can never leave your house again until
Speaker 1: you have to make sure somebody has your baby. So yes,
Speaker 1: it's an adjustment, for sure. And some people make it
Speaker 1: seem effortless and others it's not as effortless for so yeah,
Speaker 1: and in about like third teen years, they won't want
Speaker 1: to be with you at all. Remember that, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a time limit. Yeah, It's funny how that happens, right,
Speaker 1: Like parents are always like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: all encompassing. It's time consuming, and then when they're teenagers
Speaker 1: are like, what the what the funk happened to my baby?
Speaker 1: So it's like you better remember. By the time you're
Speaker 1: hip to whatever happened, it's over. You know. It's like
Speaker 1: once you realize that you're lucky to be young, and
Speaker 1: you know, like, you know when you're young and people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, well when you get older, you'll know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm never getting older and don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: They're like, you're not gonna be able to do what
Speaker 1: you do or act like you act when you're older.
Speaker 1: You won't be able to drink like you did when
Speaker 1: you were in your twenties. I was like, of course
Speaker 1: I will. I can't, you know, like and then I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: why did I believe that when it was happening. Why
Speaker 1: didn't I take advantage? You know, all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: So everything that everyone says is true. Problem solved. Let's
Speaker 1: leave it at that. Yes, Well, our next question comes
Speaker 1: from Anthony and he's on the phone with us. Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty eight year old living in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I'm a bar to under in hopes of making it
Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry. I've experienced seasonal depression for a
Speaker 1: few years now, and until recently, I was at such
Speaker 1: a high. Every day felt good, and I thought I
Speaker 1: was on the right path. I started therapy, meditation, journaling,
Speaker 1: and even your podcast was a medicine for me. Around
Speaker 1: November is when I started feeling those moods come around,
Speaker 1: and it just got worse and worse. But now we're
Speaker 1: a few weeks into the new year and I met
Speaker 1: this standstill, and I don't know where to go. I'm
Speaker 1: sure I'm going to get back into my happy days,
Speaker 1: but then I'm concerned they'll fade once again. I guess
Speaker 1: my question is how can I get happy and stay happy? Anthony?
Speaker 1: Hi Anthony, Hey Anthony, nice to meet you. Nice to
Speaker 1: meet you, guys. Hi. This is Jay and Catherine is here,
Speaker 1: who you've spoken to already. Hi? J Hi Catherine, Nice
Speaker 1: to see you again. H Hi. How are you? I'm
Speaker 1: doing good? How about yourself? We're good? Thank you. We're
Speaker 1: just talking about the merits of parents NG and and
Speaker 1: then the downside of which is a long, lengthy list.
Speaker 1: Anyway over to you though, So did you say you're
Speaker 1: in therapy? I was last year. I stopped right around October. Okay.
Speaker 1: And do you take medication of any sort? I don't.
Speaker 1: I've never I've never done that. It's something that I'm
Speaker 1: not opposed to either. I just have not gotten the
Speaker 1: chance to get in that conversation with anyone. Okay, So
Speaker 1: what you're feeling like you feel like you can go
Speaker 1: like what what duration of time is it typically? Do
Speaker 1: you seem to have like a mood? Last four is
Speaker 1: it weeks or months or seasons, like the good moods
Speaker 1: or the bad mood either. So I guess recently my
Speaker 1: good moods were for like like three months, but then
Speaker 1: it's just it's been now been three months where they're
Speaker 1: more down moods, So they're really all over the place. Okay,
Speaker 1: and what and so you do meditate? Are you physically
Speaker 1: active and all of the things that help you kind
Speaker 1: of stay up. Yeah, when I was up, what I
Speaker 1: noticed the most was that I was meditating, I was hikinging,
Speaker 1: I was listening to podcasts such as Yours, I was
Speaker 1: going to therapy, And slowly I stopped doing those as much.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like a daily thing anymore. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I was doing that, but they slowly stopped. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say right off the bat, you're allowing the way
Speaker 1: you feel to dictate your mood rather than allowing your
Speaker 1: activities and your practices to dictate your mood. You know,
Speaker 1: like when we're feeling down or we're feeling low, that's
Speaker 1: when we really need to lean on our tool kit
Speaker 1: the most, because feeling good is great, but you don't
Speaker 1: need a lot of help there, right, So it's important
Speaker 1: on the days where you don't feel like exercising, where
Speaker 1: you don't feel like meditating, to get those in so
Speaker 1: that the feeling remains consistent, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: So that shouldn't feel so black and white with your
Speaker 1: ups and your downs. And maybe there is a there
Speaker 1: is a you know, diagnosis of some sort that you
Speaker 1: might need to seek out from a professional. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe you are slightly depressed, and maybe it is a
Speaker 1: good mood disorder. But I would say, you know three
Speaker 1: like nothing is I'll let Jay speak to this, but
Speaker 1: nothing lasts forever. You cannot expect to be in a
Speaker 1: great mood every single day when you wake up, and
Speaker 1: you also can't feel like when you aren't in a
Speaker 1: great mood that that is going to be the way
Speaker 1: it's going to be for the next three weeks or
Speaker 1: three months, because you're resigning yourself and you're almost capitulating
Speaker 1: to something that doesn't exist yet. You know, you're in
Speaker 1: charge of your happiness, you're in charge of your moods,
Speaker 1: and as long as you're doing everything you can to
Speaker 1: keep like all the things that you know that work,
Speaker 1: which are meditation, exercise, listening to podcasts that make you
Speaker 1: feel good or make you think and kind of filling
Speaker 1: yourself up with that, you will have more control over
Speaker 1: those moods. And if at that point you still are
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit off and it's if it's more
Speaker 1: of a medical thing, then yeah, absolutely, I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: a medical professional or a therapist or a psychist psychiatrist
Speaker 1: that will be able to kind of experiment with prescribing
Speaker 1: you something, but it probably it may not even come
Speaker 1: to that. Do you want to speak a little bit
Speaker 1: about impermanence? And definitely, I think Anthony and I agree
Speaker 1: with everything that Chelsea just shared right now. I think
Speaker 1: it's great advice. I think one of the biggest things
Speaker 1: you just explained yourself, Anthony was that when your habits stopped,
Speaker 1: your happiness started to go down. And what I always
Speaker 1: say to people is like, just because you ate a
Speaker 1: great meal today doesn't mean you don't eat for the
Speaker 1: next three days. Right. Let's say I ate a lot
Speaker 1: of food today, I wouldn't stop eating for the next
Speaker 1: week and hope that I stay full. And sometimes with
Speaker 1: our mood and our happiness, we do that we feel
Speaker 1: really good today and we're like, Okay, I did a
Speaker 1: lot of meditation today, I did a lot of sleep
Speaker 1: this month. I don't need it for the next seven
Speaker 1: days or the next seven months. So I would definitely
Speaker 1: work on those habits. At the same time, I think
Speaker 1: we have created a mindset in society that we should
Speaker 1: always feel happy, and that happiness is a sign that
Speaker 1: we should do things. I would actually say that the
Speaker 1: biggest skill we can work on is developing the ability
Speaker 1: to do things when we don't feel like doing them.
Speaker 1: So it's else you were saying when I go to
Speaker 1: work out and I and I, by the way, experienced
Speaker 1: this today. I've had four hours sleep the last three
Speaker 1: nights because I've been traveling, moving, things have been happening,
Speaker 1: and I managed to go to the gym, and I
Speaker 1: know for a fact that I feel better because I went.
Speaker 1: And so what I've realized is good habits they feel
Speaker 1: bad before you do them, but they feel amazing afterwards.
Speaker 1: And bad habits they feel great before you do them,
Speaker 1: and they feel terrible afterwards. And so it's tricking our
Speaker 1: mind to recognize, Well, wait a minute, when I'm actually
Speaker 1: going I don't want to meditate today, I don't want
Speaker 1: to exactly what Chelsea said, that's exactly the time I
Speaker 1: want to dial in and the impermanence part. This is
Speaker 1: where I want you to switch your north star. So
Speaker 1: in your question, happiness and happy days were very clear
Speaker 1: as your north star. That was your focus. I want
Speaker 1: you to change your focus point to meaning and purpose
Speaker 1: and I'll explain why. When when I trained as a monk,
Speaker 1: we learned that looking for happiness makes life very difficult
Speaker 1: because there are so many things that happen your daily
Speaker 1: life where you won't be able to find happiness. But
Speaker 1: meaning and purpose is something you can always find. What
Speaker 1: I mean by that is when you ask yourself, what
Speaker 1: can I learn from this? What did this teach me?
Speaker 1: Why do I think this came into my life? When
Speaker 1: you start asking yourself those questions, you actually build your resilience,
Speaker 1: you build your muscle, and now you can deal with
Speaker 1: the challenges that come in the future. Whereas when you
Speaker 1: go why am I not happy? That creates this real
Speaker 1: gap of expectation and now you're chasing this illusiory thing
Speaker 1: or impermanent thing that doesn't stay with you. So, for example,
Speaker 1: I lost my I lost one of my greatest spiritual
Speaker 1: mentors in my life to stage four brain cancer. I
Speaker 1: couldn't go to his funeral in London because obviously all
Speaker 1: the flights were shut down and that was at the
Speaker 1: peak of the pandemic. I couldn't get back and losing him.
Speaker 1: There was no happiness in that moment whatsoever, Like genuinely
Speaker 1: there was no happiness, but there was meaning. There was meaning.
Speaker 1: I started to think about, like, what's the meaning of this.
Speaker 1: I can't be with him, and I thought, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I can try and live what he taught me, and
Speaker 1: that way he would live with me every day. I
Speaker 1: can try to become everything he wanted me to be,
Speaker 1: and so I could always extract meaning in even really
Speaker 1: painful situations when happiness is something that you can't always extract.
Speaker 1: So even when things are good, don't look for happiness,
Speaker 1: look for meaning, because if you can extract meaning from
Speaker 1: good things, you'll be able to extract them from bad things.
Speaker 1: That makes so much sense, Yeah, I hear that, Je.
Speaker 1: What would be or advice for somebody who is in
Speaker 1: a depression where they're just like so in a funk,
Speaker 1: They're like I can't even get out of bed today, Like,
Speaker 1: what is that first step that you would have them
Speaker 1: take in order to get to the point where they
Speaker 1: can meditate or go to the gym or yes. So
Speaker 1: in that situation, I would say what else he was
Speaker 1: saying earlier, I would go and do a medical examination,
Speaker 1: see a professional. The reason why I'm saying that is
Speaker 1: if you're saying that you can't even get out of bed,
Speaker 1: that's a reason to go and see someone Like I
Speaker 1: don't think that's something you sit and solve on your own.
Speaker 1: Just as if I couldn't get out of my bed
Speaker 1: in the morning because my legs hurt, I wouldn't try
Speaker 1: and figure that out on Google. I would pick up
Speaker 1: the phone and call my doctor and say, my legs
Speaker 1: are not working today and I work up. If you're
Speaker 1: waking up in the morning and you go I just
Speaker 1: can't get out of bed, I would go and see someone.
Speaker 1: I'll give an example of even something very small. A
Speaker 1: lot of it's biological as well. Like recently, I was
Speaker 1: talking to my health coach and she had me do
Speaker 1: my you know, my nutrients test and my vitals in
Speaker 1: my medical exam, and she told me that my vitamin
Speaker 1: D level was at a ten. She was saying that
Speaker 1: the average is sixty and the ideal as a hundred,
Speaker 1: and she said to me, She goes, Jay, I don't
Speaker 1: even know how you get out of bed in the morning,
Speaker 1: let alone live your life. Now, I don't feel that emotionally,
Speaker 1: but I started working on improving my vitamin D. I
Speaker 1: promise you I have never felt more energy in my life.
Speaker 1: And it can be biological. Sometimes we get so heady
Speaker 1: about we think it's all in our head and like
Speaker 1: it's all mental. It's not. Sometimes it's truly biological. You're
Speaker 1: you know, and we have to go and get those
Speaker 1: tests done. So yeah, that's a great point too. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had the same thing with an iron deficiency, Like
Speaker 1: I was so sluggish I was, So it could be
Speaker 1: something as simple as that, you know. So that's another
Speaker 1: reason to explore that, Anthony, do you feel like there
Speaker 1: is a chance you suffer from some depression? Do you
Speaker 1: feel that way? Yeah, definitely. Throughout my high school life,
Speaker 1: I definitely started feeling depression, and I think it's gone
Speaker 1: into my adulthood. So I've definitely done the practices like therapy, meditation,
Speaker 1: but I'm at a point now that I'm like, maybe
Speaker 1: I do need to see a professional to get some
Speaker 1: type of advice or maybe medication, because that's something that's
Speaker 1: a route I have not gone down yet. It's just
Speaker 1: tiring to do all the work and get to the
Speaker 1: good part and then come to a standstill once again
Speaker 1: after putting all the work and being like, wow, what
Speaker 1: was all that for? If if I'm back to this
Speaker 1: low point. Yeah, but doing all the work doesn't guarantee
Speaker 1: that you're not going to have low points. I do
Speaker 1: understand life is not all about being happy. There's always
Speaker 1: going to be low points. But what I mean is
Speaker 1: that it's such a big difference, like i'be at such
Speaker 1: a high point and then like a month later, I'm
Speaker 1: at such a low point too, and it's such a
Speaker 1: differ lifestyle for me then that I'm not doing anything
Speaker 1: towards my future, towards what makes me happy. So yeah,
Speaker 1: Anthony had also add that, you know, I really want
Speaker 1: you to take a moment today to just own that
Speaker 1: you have felt really good and you have done the work.
Speaker 1: Like I want you to take a moment today and
Speaker 1: sit back. When you said to me, I meditate, I
Speaker 1: go to therapy. You know, when you were listening on
Speaker 1: your question, I was saying, Wow, this this person is amazing,
Speaker 1: Like the fact that you've made time the fact that
Speaker 1: you have prioritized the fact that you've actually done that
Speaker 1: and you felt great for it. I wanted to take
Speaker 1: a time out today to just celebrate that, be grateful
Speaker 1: to yourself, and acknowledge yourself for having done the work,
Speaker 1: because it sounds like when you were doing the work
Speaker 1: and you were owning it, you were feeling great. And
Speaker 1: I just want you to remember that, because sometimes we
Speaker 1: forget that, actually there was a time when I was
Speaker 1: doing the work and I was feeling great. Let me
Speaker 1: go back to doing the work. So I want you
Speaker 1: to take our time today to celebrate that, to be grateful,
Speaker 1: to honor it. And by the way, Anthony, we've all
Speaker 1: been on such a roller coaster for the last two
Speaker 1: years that the way you're feeling should not be seen
Speaker 1: as unnatural or strange, like we don't even know how
Speaker 1: we've all been effective in the last two years. So
Speaker 1: the fact that in that time you were able to
Speaker 1: practice meditation, to go to therapy, to take advice, hats
Speaker 1: off to you. I'm impressed by you, honestly, I genuinely am,
Speaker 1: and I want you to feel impressed by yourself, and
Speaker 1: I want you to own that. I will thank you
Speaker 1: very much. Definitely do that, okay, Anthony, Well, I hope
Speaker 1: you feel better soon and keep us posted. Okay, let
Speaker 1: us know if you discover something new, first get that
Speaker 1: blood work done before probably even you go to like
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist to see if you have some sort of deficiency.
Speaker 1: Check all the boxes so you have all the information
Speaker 1: that you can get and that's and then that becomes
Speaker 1: another tool. I definitely would do that. And I wanted
Speaker 1: to say thank you so much to you because your
Speaker 1: podcast inspired me to do my own podcast with my
Speaker 1: best friend. It you plug about mental health and therapy
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So I appreciate your podcast a lot. Great.
Speaker 1: What's your casts called? It's called How's Your Heart? I
Speaker 1: like that cos well, thanks Anthony, and uh yeah, keep
Speaker 1: us posted on on how things go. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for your time. Yeah you too. Okay. I hate
Speaker 1: that desultry feeling where you're like you could tell by
Speaker 1: the look in someone's eyes. You know, it's just like
Speaker 1: you're exhausted and you have your listless and that feeling
Speaker 1: is no fun at all. Definitely not no. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like that book. I talked about this book before letting go.
Speaker 1: Do you have you read that, David Hawkings. I love
Speaker 1: that when you're when you're down, how to pull yourself up,
Speaker 1: like when you're down if you're an ego or shame
Speaker 1: or depression, and how to bring yourself up through courage
Speaker 1: to get to like the higher levels and vibrations. Um.
Speaker 1: That always reminds me that, like you know, you always
Speaker 1: have to we're in charge of clearing out our cobwebs
Speaker 1: and bringing ourselves back up to a place of action
Speaker 1: rather than reaction. Yes. Yeah. Our next question comes from
Speaker 1: Sydney Dear Chelsea. I'm forties six years old, single mom
Speaker 1: to a sassy fifteen year old girl, and have for
Speaker 1: the most part, had a great life. I didn't have
Speaker 1: much luck with love in my twenties or thirties, a
Speaker 1: bad marriage, occasional boyfriends and casual relationships, but that never
Speaker 1: kept me down. I have the best girlfriends who have
Speaker 1: filled my life with laughter, love and crazy girl's trips.
Speaker 1: In my early forties, I finally found love. I met
Speaker 1: an amazing man and we had a little over three
Speaker 1: great years together until he was devastatingly diagnosed with stage
Speaker 1: four cancer. He passed away eight months later in June
Speaker 1: of last year. I'm working through my grief and the
Speaker 1: trauma of his illness and death with the supportive therapy,
Speaker 1: friends and family. But I'm honestly just so sad and lost.
Speaker 1: I'm generally a positive and strong person, but now I'm
Speaker 1: left feeling like, now what given. I've spent most of
Speaker 1: my adult life single. It's not like I can't be alone,
Speaker 1: but after experiencing deep and easy love, I'm craving that
Speaker 1: feeling and hoping it's possible again. I just don't know
Speaker 1: where to start, and wonder if I'm too broken to
Speaker 1: even consider another relationship. Any advice you can provide or
Speaker 1: just make me laugh? Sydney, Hi, Sydney, Hi, Sydney. Hello,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Hi. This is j Shett. He's
Speaker 1: our guest today. Nice. I'm so sorry about your loss.
Speaker 1: Oh God. So the good news is that you were
Speaker 1: able to have this relationship right in your forties, in
Speaker 1: your early forties, where a lot of women think that
Speaker 1: it's a rap and they're never going to meet anybody.
Speaker 1: So it was shown and demonstrated to you that that
Speaker 1: is possible, that that was alive and well, and you
Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair that ended tragically, but you
Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair, and that's your hope. You know,
Speaker 1: that is your hope right there, that's all the hope
Speaker 1: you need. It happens to you once, it can happen
Speaker 1: to you again, and you might not be I don't
Speaker 1: know what what state of mind are you in right now?
Speaker 1: Like you know, I don't know if you're ready to
Speaker 1: day you tell us how are you feeling these days?
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling like I need to be distracted, which
Speaker 1: is crazy. I'm I'm in full Greek right now, right
Speaker 1: and I'm sad, and so I'm being distracted by friends
Speaker 1: and you know, the automent here and there, although lockdown
Speaker 1: is not a good time, but so it's like part
Speaker 1: of me looks too like I want that again. I
Speaker 1: want that again. I know now is not the time,
Speaker 1: but I also just want to be able to hope
Speaker 1: for it. That makes sense, Yeah, I think absolutely, And
Speaker 1: I think hope is sometimes better than the reality, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. The idea and the fantasy is
Speaker 1: sometimes a better elixer than than the actuality. So like
Speaker 1: it is a great opportunity for you to hold onto
Speaker 1: everything that you had with this wonderful man that came
Speaker 1: into your life, and thank God you were in his
Speaker 1: life so that he had someone to leave this life
Speaker 1: with right knowing that he was loved and knowing that
Speaker 1: he loved you. So these are all beautiful, beautiful things. Obviously,
Speaker 1: it's not an ideal situation, but what you can take
Speaker 1: out of it can bring it back into your life again.
Speaker 1: I think, and now it's probably not the right time
Speaker 1: to be going on dates and doing all of that
Speaker 1: if you're grieving and you're dealing with this heavy loss
Speaker 1: and there is a respectful amount of time that you
Speaker 1: want to spend mourning somebody. So I think the idea
Speaker 1: that you're even talking about moving forward is so healthy,
Speaker 1: the idea that you're even talking about possibly meeting somebody,
Speaker 1: you know, there are so many people are like, it's
Speaker 1: never gonna happen. That's it. I got my last thing, Like, no,
Speaker 1: there's no reason not to be greedy and and say
Speaker 1: I get more. You know, I deserve more. I deserve
Speaker 1: another love, you know, a different love or something just
Speaker 1: as powerful. Who knows. But I think holding onto hope
Speaker 1: is a great survival tool, and it's a way to
Speaker 1: help us all through grief and honoring all of the
Speaker 1: wonderful things that he brought into your life, and honoring
Speaker 1: all the beautiful love that you had and having that
Speaker 1: just be sacro sanc to you know, in your in
Speaker 1: your mind and really paying respect to that. And you're
Speaker 1: gonna know when it's time to put yourself on a
Speaker 1: dating site or to agree to be set up with somebody,
Speaker 1: You're gonna know that. But there's nothing wrong with going
Speaker 1: through the emotions of grieving. That is the way to
Speaker 1: get healthy again. Thank you for that, agreed. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: I've thought about dating safe, but I know it's for
Speaker 1: unhealthy reasons, right, It's just that I want something else
Speaker 1: to distract me. So the fact that I'm not doing
Speaker 1: and goes to show and I'm not ready. M hmmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And where do you live in in Canada? What part trual? Oh? Oh, well,
Speaker 1: I can make give you a night of laughter. You
Speaker 1: can come to one of my shows in Toronto at
Speaker 1: the end of March. We're gonna hook you up with
Speaker 1: free tickets. Okay, alright, alright, yeah, yeah, absolutely, that'll be
Speaker 1: a great night. You can bring a girlfriend or bring
Speaker 1: a couple of girlfriends, whatever you want. We'll sort it
Speaker 1: out for you. You but I'm performing there at some
Speaker 1: point in March, so we will hook that up. Awesome, Jay,
Speaker 1: what did you want to add? I I just again,
Speaker 1: I agree with everything Chelsea said and Sydney, you know,
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing I want you to remember
Speaker 1: is don't feel guilty for wanting to be distracted, or
Speaker 1: don't feel guilty for just trying to stay busy, because
Speaker 1: I think that is part of your grieving process, and
Speaker 1: so allowing yourself to just be like, I have just
Speaker 1: gone through something that is really painful. It's you know,
Speaker 1: it's really tough, but I'm going to allow myself to
Speaker 1: to feel that distraction. I'm gonna allow myself to feel that.
Speaker 1: I think putting the pressure on yourself to be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to get back to life as usual.
Speaker 1: That kind of trying to run away from a situation
Speaker 1: almost makes you run towards it even quicker, and so
Speaker 1: I think giving yourself that space and grace. I literally
Speaker 1: just I mean, I had no idea. I literally just
Speaker 1: spoke to our previous guests and I was saying that
Speaker 1: not comparing at all, because it wasn't a love affair,
Speaker 1: but I I lost my spiritual mentor who have known
Speaker 1: since twelve. It was like a father figure. He spoke
Speaker 1: of my wedding, and he died of stage four brain
Speaker 1: cancer in and I couldn't see him, and I couldn't
Speaker 1: be with him in those last few months because of
Speaker 1: the pandemic, so I couldn't get back. And when I
Speaker 1: was in that situation, for me, it was just like, well,
Speaker 1: what did he give me that he would be really
Speaker 1: proud that I carried on living on? Like what were
Speaker 1: the gifts that he gave me? Whether his love, whether
Speaker 1: his mentorship, where his guidance, whether it was you know,
Speaker 1: being confident with me always. I want to go and
Speaker 1: give that to others. And I really found that that's
Speaker 1: really helped me when I'm grieving, is giving to others
Speaker 1: what what that person gave me. When I can go
Speaker 1: and pass on and share those gifts, that gives you
Speaker 1: such a sense of that person is present with you
Speaker 1: in the right way and that you're actually continuing to
Speaker 1: serve that relationship. I love that. That's a great idea
Speaker 1: because he gave me so many gifts and the gift
Speaker 1: of hope that I even have to do thank you.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be just fine. It's gonna be okay. I
Speaker 1: hope so, I hope so well, you know what, Chelseae,
Speaker 1: this show is distracting me a lot. That's a good distraction. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like my girlfriend on the weekend that I listen
Speaker 1: to as you know, do my housework and stuff. So
Speaker 1: thanks so much for that. Absolutely my pleasure. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: take care of Thanks Sydney by everyone. Bye. Wow, that's
Speaker 1: a lot. Our last question comes from Julia. Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 1: absolutely love the podcast and how real you are when
Speaker 1: giving advice. I would love your insight when it comes
Speaker 1: to developing boundaries with an addict. My dad is an
Speaker 1: alcoholic has been my entire life. Over the years, our
Speaker 1: relationship has become strange due to his addiction and his
Speaker 1: behavior well drunk. But I just had my first child,
Speaker 1: and although I don't have much contact with him by choice,
Speaker 1: I feel an odd sense of guilt not letting him
Speaker 1: around my child. I know it's for the best, but
Speaker 1: I can't shake the feeling that I need to give
Speaker 1: him an opportunity to have a relationship with his grandchild.
Speaker 1: Should I leave things as they are or give him
Speaker 1: an opportunity to form a relationship. Obviously, with boundaries. Thanks Julia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just have to create boundaries so that he's only
Speaker 1: around your father when he's sober, or your daughter or
Speaker 1: son is around your father when they're sober. But if
Speaker 1: you have that feeling, then that's your strongest indicator that
Speaker 1: you should move forward with it. You know, if your
Speaker 1: relationship has become streamed, that's totally understandable with somebody with addiction,
Speaker 1: but it's also it's not your son or daughter's fault.
Speaker 1: And you can give him a little bit of room
Speaker 1: and see how he responds to that. It might actually
Speaker 1: help his drinking. You never know, you know, he might
Speaker 1: be inspired and want to be a bigger presence in
Speaker 1: your child's life, and it might have that impact. I mean,
Speaker 1: don't go in there with that hopefulness, but go in
Speaker 1: there just you know, with your eyes wide open, and
Speaker 1: I think you'll get your answer sooner than later of
Speaker 1: whether or not it was a good decision or maybe
Speaker 1: you know you need to pull it back some more.
Speaker 1: But I think it will probably turn out for the best.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything negative that can happen when
Speaker 1: you're you know, wanting to just spread love and family
Speaker 1: with your family within your family, and we all have
Speaker 1: those kind of familial obligations. You don't want to use
Speaker 1: the word duty, but a lot of times family is duty.
Speaker 1: It's like you owe it to your child, and you
Speaker 1: owe it to your father and then just see what happens.
Speaker 1: I would say, what do you think? No, I can't
Speaker 1: agree more. I think the thing with barriers is that
Speaker 1: you want to make sure that they're really clear for
Speaker 1: you and for others. And so if you are going
Speaker 1: to set barries, which it sounds like as chure saying
Speaker 1: that you need to, and it sounds like you must
Speaker 1: create barriers that are really clear for you, really outline them,
Speaker 1: be so aware and so sure about when yes, when no,
Speaker 1: because that allows you to free yourself of the anxiety
Speaker 1: and stress. Because I know that those moments can be
Speaker 1: so like full of just nerves and stress and pressure
Speaker 1: that the only way you let go of there and said, well,
Speaker 1: I've just set really clear guidelines for myself to follow.
Speaker 1: So there's something in psychological if then so like, if
Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're gonna do. If
Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 1: And I think creating a what if or if then
Speaker 1: plan is really important in your scenario because it sounds
Speaker 1: like there may be multiple different versions of how this
Speaker 1: could play out, and I would just take a bit
Speaker 1: of time up front to set those barriers so that
Speaker 1: there's not too many surprises. And if something beautiful happens,
Speaker 1: like well Chelsea recommended, then you're actually just grateful for
Speaker 1: it and see it as a bonus. But you set
Speaker 1: yourself up to make sure that you're not stressing yourself
Speaker 1: out in those close connected family connections. Yeah, that's an
Speaker 1: easy one to find out, you know soon enough, whether
Speaker 1: it's a good decision or not. Yeah. Absolutely, Well, let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back with j
Speaker 1: Chtty and Chelsea, and we are back. We are back, Jay.
Speaker 1: I believe this is the time in the show where
Speaker 1: you are supposed to ask me for a piece of advice.
Speaker 1: I know, and I have so many things I want
Speaker 1: to ask you. Literally, I've been sitting here this whole time.
Speaker 1: I was sitting before. When I was thinking about I
Speaker 1: was like, what do I want to ask us for advice?
Speaker 1: What do I want to stress for? At least I
Speaker 1: think the advice I'm going to ask you for, Chelsea
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna take this opportunity to be selfish
Speaker 1: to ask a question for me personally. Great, well that's
Speaker 1: what this is about. Good, Okay, all right, So then
Speaker 1: I'm then I'm just following the advice that my My
Speaker 1: question would be, You've been in this industry for a
Speaker 1: long long time, You've done so many different things, You've
Speaker 1: won so many different hats. What has made you happiest
Speaker 1: and most content on this journey? And how would you
Speaker 1: advise As I work and continue to create my work
Speaker 1: and purpose that you see me doing, what would be
Speaker 1: your advice for how I can stay truly aligned to
Speaker 1: my purpose and continue to seek that contentment and happiness
Speaker 1: in that journey. I think that's probably a different answer
Speaker 1: for different people, right I know for myself that having
Speaker 1: an identity independent of my identity in the world has
Speaker 1: always been the most valuable thing in my life. That
Speaker 1: I have a life that's outside of Chelsea handler, that
Speaker 1: I have a personal life, that I have hobbies that
Speaker 1: I'd love to ski. You know, that's something that I
Speaker 1: just said to myself as a young kid. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to become so successful that I'm going
Speaker 1: to pay somebody to teach me how to become the
Speaker 1: best gear, like those things that give me so much
Speaker 1: joy and that are independent of my career, because I
Speaker 1: think in the beginning, you think you could just be
Speaker 1: both things at the same time. You can have your
Speaker 1: personal and professional and just blend the two. And I
Speaker 1: think I would urge everyone to reconsider that and to
Speaker 1: spend as much time making as many deposits as you
Speaker 1: can into your outside life as you do to your
Speaker 1: professional life. You know, it's like filling up your filling
Speaker 1: up your jar. Right, That is such great advice. Thanks. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean that's why I'm doing this podcast, spreading I'm
Speaker 1: just spreading wisdom, you know what I mean, left, right
Speaker 1: and center. It's just catch it if you can catch it.
Speaker 1: If you can people, Well, Jay, where can everyone find you?
Speaker 1: I would love for everyone to come then listening to
Speaker 1: On Purpose, which is my podcast where I've interviewed Chelsea before.
Speaker 1: We had a beautiful conversation, and of course on the
Speaker 1: Daily Jay exclusively on Calm, where you can meditate with
Speaker 1: me for seven minutes to day if you want to
Speaker 1: start a new habit. And on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and
Speaker 1: TikTok and every social media platform out there, and don't
Speaker 1: forget his book, Think like a Monk. Great, thank you Jack.
Speaker 1: That was so I mean, I'm so amazed by you
Speaker 1: allow people to come on the show and really sit
Speaker 1: with them and their challenges in pain. I was really
Speaker 1: blown away by that. Oh nicely. It's a lot. It
Speaker 1: takes it takes a lot to actually sit down with
Speaker 1: that energy. So you know, people shared heavy stuff. It
Speaker 1: wasn't none of it was superficial. It was all real stuff.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Well, on one woman called in for advice
Speaker 1: about breastfeeding, and I was like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've never heard anything I've said, but I'm not the
Speaker 1: person to ask, and I would appreciate no more breastfeeding questions.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Jay. Yeah, so grateful I could
Speaker 1: come in. And if you like to get advice from
Speaker 1: Chelsea and one of her guests, please write into Dear
Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.