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Speaker 1: Okay, hi, everybody. Some tour dates coming up. I'm doing

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Speaker 1: two shows in Winnipeg. That's Winnipeg. I want to say

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Speaker 1: in Manitoba, Canada, but I could be wrong. Anyway, It's

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Speaker 1: in Canada March tenth and March eleventh. There are still

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Speaker 1: tickets for the March tenth show, so pick those up.

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Speaker 1: I'm coming to Toronto two shows, still tickets for the

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Speaker 1: second show available. Then I go to Ottawa and then

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Speaker 1: I kick off my American portion of the tour, picking

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Speaker 1: back up April fourt in Iowa, Ceda Rapperts, Iowa, and

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Speaker 1: then Des Moines, Iowa, and then Omaha, Nebraska. One two

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Speaker 1: three punch go to Chelsea Hamla dot com for the

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Speaker 1: rest of the cities that I will be touring in.

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Speaker 1: And we are picking back up my Vaccinated and Horny

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Speaker 1: tour after my brief ski rescipite. So we had a

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Speaker 1: little dipsy doodle skiing this week. Um. First of all,

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Speaker 1: good afternoon, everybody. Hi, Hi, Hi, Catherine, Hi Joe KOI

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Speaker 1: does not like to ski in the trees, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of people are scared of the trees. I love

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Speaker 1: the trees, but I try not to force him down

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Speaker 1: the trees. But I try to go in trees where

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Speaker 1: there's space so that he doesn't have to make any quick,

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Speaker 1: fancy moves. And I take him in the trees a

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Speaker 1: lot to practice so that he'll start to like the

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Speaker 1: only way to get better it's something, is to continually

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Speaker 1: do it right anyway, So we there was a huge,

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Speaker 1: huge snow dump in Whistler, and now I'm speaking like skiers.

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Speaker 1: There was a huge dump and we went through the

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Speaker 1: woods and we were with my guide Kelly, who is

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Speaker 1: an excellent skier, and Joe could not get his skis

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Speaker 1: underneath him. They just he was falling left, right, and center,

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Speaker 1: and he skied pretty much into a tree. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: a big tree. So I was like, honey, stay there,

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Speaker 1: I'll come up because I was beneath him. I had

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Speaker 1: skied down. I was down like twenty well probably first

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Speaker 1: I was like, funk do I take my boots off

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Speaker 1: from my skis because that's a big no no, and

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Speaker 1: skiing like you never want to be in your boots

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Speaker 1: because you don't know how deep the powder is going

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Speaker 1: to be, and then you could sink all the way down.

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Speaker 1: So you need your skis because they're like a boat.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, fun, fun. So I took them

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Speaker 1: off and I started to climb up. I was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm strong enough. I'm a mountain woman. Now

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Speaker 1: I knew how to do this. I'll go get him.

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Speaker 1: And I could not, Like I did not have the

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Speaker 1: stamina to step through the There was such deep powder

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Speaker 1: and I was going up and so I called down.

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Speaker 1: Kelly was another thirty feet beneath me, and I was like, Kelly,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go get him. I can't. She's like, I'm crabbing.

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Speaker 1: I'm crabbing. I'm coming. So and he the whole time,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, stop moving because he's trying to navigate him. Say,

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Speaker 1: he's trying to get himself out of the tree, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's it could be a tree. Well in

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Speaker 1: that situation, just stay where you are, do not move,

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Speaker 1: wait for someone to come. Is that like kind of

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Speaker 1: quicksand Well, if you move around too much, you could

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Speaker 1: get stuck in it. So if you're not stuck in it,

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Speaker 1: just wait. You know, trying to get yourself out of

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Speaker 1: it will help you get stuck in it. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's a possibility. So she had to go up and

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Speaker 1: get him. It took this stuck like forty minutes, and

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Speaker 1: when he came down, he was like, where were you?

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Speaker 1: He said, where were you? You know, like that was

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Speaker 1: bad and where were you? And I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I was right down here. Joe was supervising the entire

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Speaker 1: the entire thing, and he goes, you really need to

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Speaker 1: think about that. I needed you and you weren't there.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, honestly, I thought I would be

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Speaker 1: putting both of us in danger if I came up

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Speaker 1: when I knew we had someone. I go, if we

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Speaker 1: didn't have Kelly, I would have come up and done

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Speaker 1: it absolutely, but we had Kelly. And then I thought,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm pushing him too far, you know, like I

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Speaker 1: don't want him to get hurt or injured, and it's

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Speaker 1: funny to make him ski hard, and he's by the way,

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Speaker 1: he's fucking great. He's going to be a better steer

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Speaker 1: than I am by the end of this season. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: just a little story to tell where I really felt

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Speaker 1: like a piece of ship because I was like, he

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Speaker 1: was right. I should have been right by his side,

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Speaker 1: especially when I'm making him do something. Yeah. Well, and

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Speaker 1: it's nice to know that you guys don't just only

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Speaker 1: have a perfect wonderful relationship, like you have to work

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Speaker 1: through some stuff too. Know. He calls me out on ship.

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Speaker 1: You know what's so funny when we went to Canada,

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Speaker 1: because I was so I was like, do not get

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Speaker 1: this omicron Before we left in December, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you cannot get omicron. I have to get into Canada.

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Speaker 1: Ski is my happy place. I need this time this

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Speaker 1: year in order. If I don't get into Canada because

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Speaker 1: I test positive for a macron, like, I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: pissed at you. So he's like, and I'm on him.

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Speaker 1: He's on tour, he travels with the crew, so I

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Speaker 1: always like, be careful, be careful. We get to We

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Speaker 1: get to Canada and my friend and she was having

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Speaker 1: us over. She goes, oh my god, I tested positive

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Speaker 1: for covid omicron, like seven days ago. She said. Public

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Speaker 1: health has cleared me. They said it's only seven days.

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Speaker 1: It's been seven days since my first symptom. It's seven

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Speaker 1: days now. I shouldn't have it, but I will be

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Speaker 1: testing positive for it. They said I could test positive

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Speaker 1: for it for eight days. I was like, oh funk,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. We're here, let's go, We'll go over

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Speaker 1: to Andrews. I bring my my own COVID test because

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Speaker 1: I have them, and we give her a test and

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Speaker 1: Joe looks at because Jesse, she's positive. And I go

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Speaker 1: and go on the end of your garage, like just

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Speaker 1: stand in the back of your garage, like wear your

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Speaker 1: mask and stand in the back of roach. As the

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Speaker 1: night went on, like different kids were coming down, She's like,

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Speaker 1: you go upstairs. He's shedding. He's positive, he's negative. I was,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, we're like in the hub of the

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Speaker 1: omicron virus. So when we left there, like it took

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Speaker 1: like a week, but Joe goes, I need to talk

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Speaker 1: to you. He goes, You're a fucking hypocrite. He goes,

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Speaker 1: you made such a big deal about me and being

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Speaker 1: safe on the road and on tour, not getting omicron,

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Speaker 1: not going to clubs, not going anywhere without my mask,

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Speaker 1: he goes. And then we arrived in Canada and the

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Speaker 1: first thing you do is dropped me in a den

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Speaker 1: of COVID And I was like, he goes, you have

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Speaker 1: one set of rules for yourself, and then you have

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Speaker 1: one set of rules for everyone else. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: you're fucking right. I just looked at it. I go,

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Speaker 1: everything you're saying is right. I'm a hypocrite and you're right.

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Speaker 1: And then he kept going, goes, but you go, Joe,

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Speaker 1: You're right. I am You're everything is right. I'm wrong

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Speaker 1: and I don't have any excuse and I have no defense.

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Speaker 1: Let's press forward. Well, Chelsea, this week I got a crazy,

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Speaker 1: crazy email and I really just had to read it

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Speaker 1: to you. So the subject line is I knew I

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Speaker 1: is alive when I heard Chelsea's voice. Dear Chelsea, I

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Speaker 1: have an hour plus commute each way to work, and

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Speaker 1: your podcast has been a staple on my drive. I

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Speaker 1: love your directness, your delivery, and always your humor. Your

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Speaker 1: podcast brings a much needed positive lift to my day

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Speaker 1: to hear about other people's lives and listening to you

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Speaker 1: and your guests advice all the different perspectives I truly appreciate.

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Speaker 1: I was listening to your podcast on my way to work.

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Speaker 1: I had twenty minutes of my drive left when another

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Speaker 1: vehicle blew their stop sign and hit my car on

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Speaker 1: the front right side. I was on a highway doing

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Speaker 1: fifty five miles per hour and they had come from

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Speaker 1: an intersecting highway also doing fifty. It all happens so fast,

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Speaker 1: neither one of us had time to hit the brakes.

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking this is happening, and then if this

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Speaker 1: is how I go out, I'm going to be so piste.

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Speaker 1: The air bag went off. I remember going up in

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Speaker 1: the air and the feeling of being pitched up, like

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Speaker 1: sitting in a rocket ready to launch. And then silence.

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Speaker 1: And then when I heard your voice, Chelsea, coming from

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Speaker 1: your podcast, still playing through my car speakers, I knew

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Speaker 1: I was alive and still in this world. My next

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Speaker 1: thought was, fuck, yeah, I'm here, and I was so

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Speaker 1: grateful to hear your voice. I sit here today not

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Speaker 1: knowing how I walked away from that experience alive. I

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Speaker 1: have an upcoming surgery this week and recovery ahead of me,

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Speaker 1: but I live another day to say thank you to

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Speaker 1: the inspiring women out there like you, and I'm grateful

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Speaker 1: for the love and support from my family and friends.

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Speaker 1: Keep up your great work. Take care, tempy Vermir, Oh God,

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Speaker 1: we're so happy you're alive. Tempy, Tempy, tempy Vermir. We

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Speaker 1: don't usually share a last name on here, but what

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Speaker 1: an excellent name, O, Tempy. Thank God, you're all right.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you heard my voice and that

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Speaker 1: was a good thing. Oh lovely. Yeah, yeah, it is.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that and writing that. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love it so yeah, I just wanted to share.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, here is the picture she's sent

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Speaker 1: of her car, and she said, ps, I'm attaching a

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Speaker 1: photo of the car I walked away from and the

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Speaker 1: Sealfie on Sunday and made my parents and fiance take

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Speaker 1: with me because I'm alive to do so. For you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you never know everybody listening when you're going to be

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Speaker 1: there in a moment where somebody really will never forget

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Speaker 1: or really needs you. So it doesn't matter if you're

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Speaker 1: famous or you're not famous, or you have a big

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Speaker 1: platform or you have a small one. You can always

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Speaker 1: have an impact on somebody's life. And it could even

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Speaker 1: be a stranger's. So don't forget that. Our guest today

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Speaker 1: is a New York Times bestselling author. He wrote a

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Speaker 1: book called Think Like a Monk. He is the host

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Speaker 1: of the number one health and wellness podcast. It's called

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Speaker 1: On Purpose. I think I've been on that, Yes I have.

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Speaker 1: And he's Calms newly appointed Chief Purpose Officer on the combat.

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Speaker 1: He is going to have his own meditations coming soon

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Speaker 1: or maybe already out. I don't know any minute. J

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Speaker 1: Hi Ja Shetty, Hey, Chelsea, thank you for having so

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Speaker 1: nice to see It's so nice to see you. It's

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Speaker 1: been too long. Thank you. J J. This is Catherine,

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Speaker 1: our producer. Hi. Nice to meet you. She co hosts

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Speaker 1: this podcast with me. I love it. Yeah. So we

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Speaker 1: saw each other probably two to three years ago, the

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Speaker 1: last time we saw each other, and I came on

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Speaker 1: your podcast. That's right, that's right, which was pretty awesome

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Speaker 1: because we were talking about meditation and presents and therapy

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Speaker 1: and we just met at Wisdom two point Oh oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's where we connected. Oh yeah, how would you that's

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Speaker 1: a good idea. Let's start with that. How do you

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Speaker 1: how would you describe that conference? So I was invited

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Speaker 1: to speak at the conference, and you were speaking at

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Speaker 1: the conference too, and Wisdom to point oh. I would

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Speaker 1: define as a conference for introducing people to meditation spiritual practices,

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Speaker 1: and it's like a community of people who are looking

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Speaker 1: or seeking alternative practices for their well being. I think

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Speaker 1: that's my best shot, but maybe yeah, well, I always

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Speaker 1: just describe it as like a bunch of different like

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Speaker 1: you know, neuroscientists, neurophysicists, like you know, just an esteemed

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Speaker 1: group of doctors getting together to talk about what drugs

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Speaker 1: are going to become legalized in the near future. Also

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Speaker 1: because it's a lot about LSD, psilocybin and micro dosing

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Speaker 1: and kind of guided meditation journeys through those things or

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Speaker 1: without those things. So it's so it's a panoply of

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Speaker 1: different kind of areas, but it's all under the same

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Speaker 1: umbrella of betterment, right than well being. And I think

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Speaker 1: the last time I spoke to you, I think you

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Speaker 1: told me that you and your wife have like a

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Speaker 1: three is it a three hour or two hours to

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Speaker 1: our meditation practice each morning? Okay, So can you talk

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Speaker 1: me through that a little bit? Absolutely, So it changes

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Speaker 1: now because of travel and late nights, and so it's

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Speaker 1: not always partying a lot these days. That's definitely no bodies,

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Speaker 1: just just travel and work and whatever else it may be.

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Speaker 1: So it's not always in the morning. But the practice

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Speaker 1: consists of three types of meditation that I was trained

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Speaker 1: in as a monk. So you have breathwork, visualization, and mantra.

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Speaker 1: So I start with breathwork. I could spend anywhere from

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Speaker 1: ten to fifteen minutes practicing everything from analom, vilom two

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Speaker 1: coupla batti, breathing to make sure that I'm feeling connected

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Speaker 1: and present with my body. Ill then move into visualization.

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Speaker 1: This is something I pick and choose. I'll do that

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Speaker 1: if i have something that I'm going to do that

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Speaker 1: I'm nervous about. So I'll give you an example of

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Speaker 1: where I used it recently. I last year decided with

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Speaker 1: my wife that we would do lots of extreme challenges together.

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Speaker 1: So we did everything from cold plunges to zip lines

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Speaker 1: to skydiving our first time skydiving together. So the morning

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Speaker 1: before I went skydiving, I visualized myself skydiving and I

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Speaker 1: felt sick in the first seven visualizations, but in the

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Speaker 1: eighth it was gone, and by the time I was

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Speaker 1: actually jumping out a plane, I didn't feel sick at all.

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Speaker 1: So I use visualization as a way of going through

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Speaker 1: pet entual pain that I'm about to face so that

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Speaker 1: I can experience it beforehand, or nerves, and then finally mantra.

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Speaker 1: Chanting mantras has been a big part of my practice.

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Speaker 1: There are some beautiful mantras out there and and there

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Speaker 1: are a few that I focus in on, so it

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Speaker 1: will be broken up into like ten fifteen minutes on breathwork,

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Speaker 1: five minutes on visualization, and about an hour and a

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Speaker 1: half on mantra. And I know that you are just

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Speaker 1: that you just teamed up with Calm too. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: have your own meditation series. I'm so excited about that.

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Speaker 1: We just announced and now we have something called the

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Speaker 1: Daily J on Calm. You can meditate with me every

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Speaker 1: single day for seven seven minutes. I was gonna say

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Speaker 1: seven days, seven minutes every day. And what it allows

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Speaker 1: you to do is combine story, breathwork, visualization, all these

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Speaker 1: meditations I'm speaking about and allows you to build your

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Speaker 1: own practice for seven minutes, so you can get it

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Speaker 1: right now. Great, awesome, that's great because everybody on this podcast,

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Speaker 1: or are all of our listeners, are always attempting to

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Speaker 1: learn how to meditate. So tell me somebody, for somebody

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Speaker 1: who's been meditating for how many years now, seventeen years,

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Speaker 1: seventeen years, how has your meda you should how is

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Speaker 1: your practice changed during that time? I think my practice

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Speaker 1: has changed because in the beginning it was very much

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Speaker 1: about presence and stillness, and now it's also turned into

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Speaker 1: uh connection for me, like spiritual connection, and that's where

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Speaker 1: it started, but it's definitely evolved in that direction. So

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Speaker 1: for me, meditation is connected to me feeling aligned with

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Speaker 1: my purpose. It's a place that I remove what I

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Speaker 1: call weeds from my heart. So I'll look at negative

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Speaker 1: intentions or energies, and I'll look at meditation as an

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Speaker 1: opportunity to actually take stock and take order of where

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Speaker 1: I am and use it to purify and cleanse myself.

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Speaker 1: So I look at like, where did I feel an

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Speaker 1: emotion this week that I wasn't happy with how I behaved?

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Speaker 1: Or how did I speak to someone this week that

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Speaker 1: actually it doesn't make me feel good about myself? How

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Speaker 1: can I purify myself of that? So, to me, the

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Speaker 1: purification aspect of meditation has become a big priority for

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Speaker 1: me now, more than just the presence and stillness that's

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Speaker 1: in my personal practice. Yeah, I think it's interest when

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Speaker 1: you talk about for anyone really, because like you have

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Speaker 1: certain habits or maybe bad behaviors, you know, quick responses

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Speaker 1: or reactions to things, and then over time, as you

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Speaker 1: practice not reacting so much to those things when you

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Speaker 1: do have a blip and you do react in a

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Speaker 1: way that you're not happy with. It's very much on

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Speaker 1: the surface right away, like there's no denial or defensiveness,

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Speaker 1: which is what got you out of it, you know.

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Speaker 1: Years ago for me, i'd be like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: tell three people and they all tell me I was right.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, that's good. I did the right thing.

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Speaker 1: Now it's like, I don't tell anybody. I know I

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Speaker 1: was wrong and it's right there, and I'm like, that

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Speaker 1: wasn't the nicest way to response to that. And if

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Speaker 1: those things happen close together, I get nervous. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're you know, regressing. You better make sure because I

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Speaker 1: look at meditation now, I'm nowhere, you know, near what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. I never trained or studied with monks or

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Speaker 1: anything like that, obviously, because they would have kicked me out.

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Speaker 1: But did they did they ask you to leave? It

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Speaker 1: thought you were fully It's not you, it's me kind

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Speaker 1: of situation. It's like a break up. Like it's like

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Speaker 1: I said to them that I think I should leave

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Speaker 1: because I think I got this self awareness that I

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Speaker 1: don't think I'm a monk anymore. And they said to me, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we think that's a good idea. They said to me,

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Speaker 1: We feel you should leave so that you can share

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Speaker 1: what you've learned. And that's that's how they said it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that's what you're doing trying definitely. Yeah, So I

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Speaker 1: think with regard to making little blips or making little mistakes,

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Speaker 1: it's like you you kind of learned to navigate away

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Speaker 1: from the bigger ones and learned to be more sensible

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Speaker 1: in your reactivity and you know what kind of you know,

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Speaker 1: the way you're communicating with people. But when it does

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Speaker 1: come up, it's definitely an enlightened or more enlightened person

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Speaker 1: is definitely much more hip to go Okay, oh that's

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Speaker 1: not a good thing for me to be doing or saying. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and so okay, so what have you been up to

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Speaker 1: professionally in the last couple of years, because you you're everywhere,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're like Deepak Chopper Jr. Sorry if that's sorry,

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Speaker 1: that's not one of your love If you don't look

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Speaker 1: up to deep No, I have so much respect for Deeper.

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Speaker 1: I have so much respect for so many people who

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Speaker 1: I think have come before me in this world of

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Speaker 1: trying to serve, trying to share, and so I have.

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Speaker 1: I have only good things to say about deep Back.

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Speaker 1: For sure. He's he's wonderful in person. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: love i Eckartole is my like. I love to listen

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Speaker 1: to that because he seems so far removed from well,

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Speaker 1: real life, you know what I mean. It's almost like,

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Speaker 1: you know, when I think about meditation, I think of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is my time to like be respectful to the

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Speaker 1: universe and say I'm here to be still in quiet

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Speaker 1: to make myself good for today, you know, to give

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Speaker 1: myself the calm that I need for today and the

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Speaker 1: focus and the good intentions and all of the things

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Speaker 1: that come with it. And I find his writing and

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Speaker 1: his words to be they're very deep, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of people are not into that, like how deep it goes? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, for me, when I started

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Speaker 1: my work, my genuine goal was to help build a

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Speaker 1: pathway for people to go as deep as they wanted

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Speaker 1: to go. I was very fortunate to study the bug

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Speaker 1: with Geta and text that are five thousand years old,

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Speaker 1: and I love talking about them and I love sharing them.

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Speaker 1: And in my book Think like a Monk, I'll take

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Speaker 1: out a verse and put it into a chapter, and

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Speaker 1: I've seen people really be able to gravitate and appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: But I also find that some people just want to

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Speaker 1: feel better right now. And so with my work over

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Speaker 1: the last two years, and of course we can dive

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Speaker 1: into different parts, but my ultimate goal is to help

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Speaker 1: people bridge that gap from entertainment to education to enlightenment.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the journey that I'd love for

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Speaker 1: entertainment to reach as many people in the world as possible,

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Speaker 1: education to reach those who want to take that step

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Speaker 1: into their own self development and personal growth, and then

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Speaker 1: enlightenment as a journey that people can take if they

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Speaker 1: want that too. And so I think building that bridge

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Speaker 1: is so important because if I look back at how

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Speaker 1: I was as a teen, if you told me about

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Speaker 1: any of that journey, I'd be like, give me the entertainment.

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Speaker 1: I don't want any of the other stuff. And so

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm trying to go back and connect

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Speaker 1: with my younger self or anyone who reminds me of

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Speaker 1: my younger self where I grew up, saying well, why

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Speaker 1: do I need any of this stuff? And and as

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Speaker 1: time has gone on, I've seen the value of it

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Speaker 1: and when you're doing what you're doing because you're combining

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Speaker 1: two worlds, right, You're dividing deep spirituality with also awareness

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Speaker 1: and you you're on a mission for that. So how

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Speaker 1: do you kind of when your ego is something that

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Speaker 1: is so not necessary and spirituality but it's kind of

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Speaker 1: useful in this business, how do you reconcile the two.

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Speaker 1: So it's really interesting. I spoke to my monk teacher

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Speaker 1: when I decided I was going to move to l A,

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Speaker 1: and the first thing he said to me is, you're

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Speaker 1: moving to the capital of illusion, and you should be very,

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Speaker 1: very cautious. And here I was going, well, why are

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Speaker 1: you not excited for me? Like, I've got so many

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Speaker 1: opportunities coming my way and I'm so looking forward to this.

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Speaker 1: And he said, you should just be cautious of Maya.

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Speaker 1: Maya is illusion, another word for illusion in Sanskrit. Said

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Speaker 1: you should, you should be careful, you should be cautious.

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Speaker 1: And what I've realized is I'm really lucky to have

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Speaker 1: amazing mentors. He's seventy years old, he's been a monk

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Speaker 1: for forty years. I'm so fortunate to have these incredible

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Speaker 1: role models in my life who I've seen display and

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Speaker 1: embody humility and constantly remind me of its value. So

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Speaker 1: as a monk, you're trained that the most admirable quality

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Speaker 1: in anyone is their humility, their groundedness. And so we

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Speaker 1: were like, you know, that was like repeated again and

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Speaker 1: again and again to us every day, and then when

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Speaker 1: you get to see it in someone, I think one

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Speaker 1: of the challenges with ego and humility is that I

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Speaker 1: would like everyone who's listening right now to genuinely think

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Speaker 1: about how many people they've met in their life that

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Speaker 1: they believe genuinely display humility, not just groundedness, so not

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Speaker 1: just being not up themselves, are not arrogant, genuine humility.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's hard. I think it's actually very difficult.

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Speaker 1: And I would say I've been really fortunate to have

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Speaker 1: spent time with people that I think display it so

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Speaker 1: deeply that they call it out in me all the time.

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Speaker 1: So that's the first thing. The second thing I'd say

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Speaker 1: is that I really enjoy the grapple with my ego,

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Speaker 1: like I really enjoy the wrestling process of it. I

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Speaker 1: think one of the things we were trained in was

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Speaker 1: to relish the battle. That if you don't relish the battle.

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Speaker 1: If you don't and start enjoying the fact that you

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Speaker 1: are going to come up against your ego every day,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna wear you out, like it's gonna tie you

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Speaker 1: out and drain you and leave you on the street.

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Speaker 1: Because your ego is the toughest boxer in the world.

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Speaker 1: Your your ego is Floyd Money Mayweather and your little

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Speaker 1: old you, And so if you don't enjoy that fight

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Speaker 1: and the training, it's going to be really tough. So

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Speaker 1: I've realized that I love putting myself in positions where

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Speaker 1: my ego is actually going to rise, and then being

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Speaker 1: aware and slowly coaching it out of it and guiding

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Speaker 1: and then working with it, rather than being so detached

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Speaker 1: from everything where you could think you've solved your ego

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Speaker 1: but actually you just haven't tested it. There's a beautiful

426
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 1: story about Benjamin Franklin who had what I believe were

427
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: called the thirteen precepts, which were thirteen things that he

428
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 1: aspired for simplicity, authenticity, and agrety. Uh And at the

429
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 1: end of his life he was asked what was the

430
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: one that he didn't accomplish, and he said it waste one.

431
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: And they asked him what's that? And he said humility

432
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:15,120
Speaker 1: And I think humility is that constant pursuit and yeah, yeah,

433
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 1: if that anyway, I went off on the whole time,

434
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: like I love listening to you because I like what

435
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 1: you said about ego. I like the idea of challenging yourself,

436
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: having it rise up and seeing how you handle that,

437
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,199
Speaker 1: because that comes up for me a lot. You know,

438
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 1: obviously in in my what I do, it's like, am

439
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: I doing this for even a paycheck? Is ego? It's

440
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: related to ego? Even you know, am I what? What

441
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 1: are the reasons I'm doing this? And to be practical

442
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 1: because obviously I'm in this of this world and I

443
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 1: have to you know, participate and make a living. But

444
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: I I like to check myself and go, Okay, why

445
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 1: is your reaction to this this and what is that

446
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: ego based? And if it is, then remove that. That's

447
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: not the reason you're going to react. You just you

448
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: Literally there's an activity that I do where I have

449
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: lots of different opportunities, whether they be job opportunities or

450
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: professional opportunities. I'll write them all down and then on

451
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: top of each one, I'll write down my reason if

452
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: I said yes or if I said no, and whenever

453
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 1: the answer is not love, I know that there's some

454
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 1: work to be done, so often I'll write down the

455
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: word ego like you said, Oh, I would only do

456
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: that for me, ego, I'd only do that for money.

457
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I don't do it. It just means

458
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: I'm aware that that is why I said yes to that.

459
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: And let me be really clear on that, so that

460
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 1: I'm not lying to myself, because the honesty is what

461
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: helps me break down my ego, not the dishonesty of

462
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: feeling like it doesn't exist. And so for me, I'm

463
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: always trying to see can I write love next to that?

464
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: Can I write love on top of that? And if

465
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 1: I can, then that's beautiful. And if I can't, let's

466
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 1: upgrade ego to love. Let's upgrade just money to love.

467
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: Let's upgrade insecurity to love and keep working on that ladder.

468
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 1: I know you wrote your own book, right, think like

469
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: a mark? What are some books do that you read

470
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: that our go choose for you? Like? Do you have

471
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: anything that you can constantly referenced? Oh? Yes? So the

472
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: bug Gueta, which would be considered the timeless epic of India.

473
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 1: The Spiritual Text of India is probably my go to book.

474
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: I find that most of what we read today is

475
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 1: centered on the Guta in the betterment world and community.

476
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: You know, there's so many chapters of modern day books

477
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 1: that I could find as a core text inside the GUETA.

478
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: So that's a go to guide for me for sure.

479
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: You know, we just lost Tiko Han, an incredible monk

480
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: teacher who passed away recently. Like his his work was

481
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: just absolutely phenomenal. You pick up any book by tickno Hahn,

482
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,719
Speaker 1: it will it will really speak to your you know,

483
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: speak to yourself. And then on the other end, I

484
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 1: love behavioral economics. I grew up reading behavioral economics books

485
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 1: and so like the sound of behavioral economics. Yeah I

486
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, So like I grew up reading Malcolm

487
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 1: Gladwell and Dana Riley and all these incredible authors who

488
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: have just studied human behavior. And so my life has

489
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: always been how can I find the connection between behavioral

490
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 1: economics and spiritual teachings, And so I'm always looking at

491
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: the intersection of where do they meet? And they meet

492
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: more often than we think, and we're it's like, okay, well,

493
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 1: give us some examples of how they meet. So there's

494
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: a there's a brilliant book called Predictably Irrational, and it

495
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: talks about how humans make predictably irrational decisions. One of

496
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 1: the best examples in there that Dana Riley provides is

497
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,959
Speaker 1: that if you want to get a date tonight, go

498
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: with someone who looks like you, but it's a slightly

499
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 1: less good looking version of you. And he goes, that's

500
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 1: going to naturally improve your likability and people are more

501
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 1: likely to choose you because we don't necessarily choose between

502
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 1: A or B. We're choosing between a plus and a minus.

503
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: So humans make predictably irrational decisions where we elevate someone

504
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: in our eyes if something's close to it that feels less. Now,

505
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: that's fine when it comes to dating, but he says

506
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: that this is how we're completely manipulated by companies who

507
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: give us three options. They sell something for forty dollars,

508
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: seventy dollars, and a hundred dollars. But the hundred dollars,

509
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: it's just got a bit more than that seventy dollars.

510
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: So you let go of the forty dollars and you

511
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 1: go and spend that hundred. Now, when you look at

512
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: that as a technique. When you look back at the

513
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: spiritual text, they talk about how our senses are limited,

514
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 1: and how because our senses are limited, we often make

515
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: poor judgment if we only see through our senses. And

516
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: therefore there's this beautiful term in Sanskrit called shastra chuck shu,

517
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: which means to see through the eyes of spiritual text,

518
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: to see through the eyes of beyond our material vision.

519
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 1: So there's something like that. Another one that I love

520
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: is the idea around purpose. So a long long time ago,

521
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: like we would have just said, oh yeah, purpose is

522
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 1: a fluffy term and maybe it's not real and maybe

523
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't exist. All studies show today that when you

524
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,719
Speaker 1: live with purpose, you're happier. There's an amazing study by

525
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 1: Yale and Amy Raznewski, and they did a study in

526
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: what they believed was the most difficult job in the world. Now,

527
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: the most difficult job in the world is not what

528
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: any of us do. It happened to be hospital cleaners,

529
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: and I think we can all agree with that. And

530
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: that was before the pandemic, so I can only imagine

531
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 1: how tough it is today. So they went an interviewed

532
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: hospital cleaners and they asked them what do they do,

533
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 1: and they were like, we clean beds, we clean toilets,

534
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: we clean dishes, were clean up after people die. Like

535
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 1: it's a really tough job. And so they then went

536
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: and interviewed some other hospital cleaners. These cleaners describe themselves

537
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: as healers, and they were like, why are you healers?

538
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: They worked in the same hospitals, they did the same job.

539
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: They said, because we see cleaning an environment as completely

540
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: directly related to a patient's healing journey. We think that

541
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 1: if we have a clean room, people's families will have

542
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: deeper time there, they will spend more time there that

543
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: were able to feel love and energy and positivity. They

544
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: were happier in the same jobs, in the same most

545
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: difficult job in the world. This is what text have

546
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 1: been telling us always. Wayne Dyer said it when we

547
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: change the way we look at things, the things we

548
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: look at change. That is a spiritual truth, but we

549
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: can see it through behavioral science. Now, Oh wow, I

550
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 1: love that. Yeah, that's so true. I mean, once you

551
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: change your lens, you know, you it's like being attracted

552
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: to someone, It's like falling in love with your friend,

553
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: which was what happened to be all of a sudden.

554
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: You know, he was my friend for years and years

555
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: and years, and I never looked at him that way.

556
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: And then after therapy and after getting like I kind

557
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: of knew way to look at everything, and I was like, oh,

558
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: this is my guy. He's been standing here this entire time.

559
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: But I just my lenses were dirty. That's amazing. That's

560
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: filled with Canada. Yeah, it's a spiritual lens. That's a

561
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: great example. I want to ask you a personal question

562
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: about your relationship because you've been married for how many

563
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: years now? We've been together for eight and married for

564
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: six this year? Okay, and so does I would one

565
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: would assume that all of this living with monks and

566
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: all of your spiritual practice up until now would prepare

567
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: someone pretty well to be in a married relationship. Is that?

568
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: Is that a fact? I would say that it does

569
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: if you apply it at the essence and the core.

570
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: But if you apply immaturely then knows. But yeah, I

571
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: would agree with you. I would agree with you so

572
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: that if any when things come up and or if

573
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: there's any sort of discourse or that's unpleasant like that,

574
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: you're able to you and your wife because she practices

575
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 1: as well, that you're able to handle it with a

576
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: little bit more plum than a regular couple. Yes. So

577
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: I when I wrote Think like a Monk, I dedicated

578
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 1: to my wife, and the dedication reads to my wife,

579
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 1: who's more monk than I'll ever be. And I really

580
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: meant that. I wrote that because I wanted people to

581
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: realize that she never trained as a monk. She does

582
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: meditate every day, and she does have the similar practices

583
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: to me, but you know, she just naturally has some

584
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: of that in her life. But at the same time,

585
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: she will be the first to tell you she gets

586
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: so angry when I'm really calm, when we've just had

587
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: a fight or she's saying something and I'm like, really still,

588
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is how we're gonna deal with them.

589
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: This we're gonna and she's like, she gets even more angry.

590
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, No, I I think that myself awareness that

591
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 1: I gained during my time as a monk allowed me

592
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: not only in the way you said it, you said

593
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: this beautifully just now that since I left being among

594
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: my wife's the only person that I've've been with and

595
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: and you know, dated and now of course married to,

596
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: and I felt that my self awareness of my values,

597
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: what I believed in grew so clear that I could

598
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: clearly see that we were going to work on this.

599
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean it's been easy ever since, but

600
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: I definitely feel that I have the tools. One of

601
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: my favorite tools is called the austerity of speech. So

602
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: this is a an old Vedic concept of the austerity

603
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: of speech. So it says that you should speak words

604
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: that are truthful, words that are beneficial, words that don't

605
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others, and words that are aligned

606
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: with spiritual knowledge. So that the fourth one is hard,

607
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: but the first three truthful, beneficial to all, and don't

608
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: agitate the minds of others. Now that third one is

609
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: really tough for me, especially you're annoying me. It's I'm

610
00:29:51,960 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: feeling very irritated, exactly, But that's exactly, and it's how

611
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: do you learn to shape your language? So those are

612
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: called the four asterities of speech. I call them the

613
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: four gates before I say something. How can you walk

614
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: through those gates? How can you actually take a journey

615
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: and fill to what you're about to say, Not because

616
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: you're trying to be politically correct or trying to do

617
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: a technique you're doing it because you actually believe that

618
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: what comes out of your mouth is now going to

619
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: have more power. When you say to someone you're just

620
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: annoying me, in one sense, you distance yourself from that person,

621
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: whereas when you actually have a healthy conversation, you actually

622
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: can become closer through that conflict. And so I think

623
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: some of them. I mean, there's plenty more examples I

624
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: can give, but those are the first two that came

625
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,479
Speaker 1: to mind. Well, you're gonna have an opportunity to do

626
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: that because we're taking callers. Sometimes we get we get

627
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: submissions that could be email or they could be on

628
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: the phone on a zoom. You'll get to see them

629
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: and they're calling just asking for typical life advice. Amazing,

630
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: and it's pretty cute idea, especially from someone like me,

631
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: you know, who has no business giving advice, is totally

632
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: willing to do it. Yeah, well, let's take a quick

633
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: break and we'll be back with some colors and emails.

634
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: And we are back from break with j CHTT today. Hi,

635
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: we're ready to Oh yeah already. Well it's about to

636
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: get maybe a little bit harder because there's some serious

637
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: questions today. So our first email comes from Caitlin. She says,

638
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I've been in a funk since becoming a mom.

639
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem to be postpartum depression or anxiety. I

640
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: didn't really know what to call it until recently when

641
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: I saw one of the Britney Spears documentaries. And although

642
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: our situations are quite different, I can relate to the

643
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: feelings of being confined, trapped, surveiled and controlled. That's totally it.

644
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: I've lost my autonomy now that I'm a mother. I

645
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 1: can't walk freely from one room to the other without

646
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: announcing my departure and announcing my return. I can't go

647
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: to the bathroom without someone watching me. I essentially need

648
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: someone else's permission to take a shower because I can't

649
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: just leave my kid unattended. I really like being a mom,

650
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: but this is the hardest part for me to adjust to.

651
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: Since the situation itself is not going to change, I

652
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: think the only solution is to change my own mindset

653
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: and reframe the way I think about my new reality.

654
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for me, Caitlin, Yeah, I

655
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: think so. Well, what what do you think of that

656
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: you go? First? First of all, I want to say Caitlin,

657
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 1: thank you for being so honest. I mean, that's really difficult.

658
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 1: I know, you know, I know a lot of moms.

659
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 1: I work with a lot of moms. I'm you know,

660
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not a mother and and can't be one,

661
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: and so I can't say I understand how you feel.

662
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: But thank you for being so honest. I think it's

663
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: really hard to say what you just said, so I

664
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: really want to acknowledge that. The second thing I'd say

665
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: is that you already have the answer that you want.

666
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: The way you ended that question was the answer. Now

667
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: the idea is how do you reframe? What do you reframe?

668
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: So I'm just simply going to give you some suggestions

669
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: according to what you think is the right way of

670
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: doing it. Uh. The first thing I'd say around reframing

671
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: your mindset is part of having children, as far as

672
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: I know, is the ability to extend our love, compassion,

673
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: and opportunity to practice. And kids are teaching us something difficult. Now.

674
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: I know this because I've been thinking about having kids

675
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: for a long time, but I've been putting it off

676
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 1: for pretty much a similar reason to what you've just said,

677
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: because I recognized that I am going to lose my

678
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: independence and I am going to lose my lose my autonomy. Now,

679
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: I know it's very different for a woman. There's even

680
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: more pressure. When I look at the studies, they suggest

681
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: that women are taking on even more of those responsibilities.

682
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 1: So when I think about that, I go, how can

683
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: you use this as a experiment in increasing your love,

684
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: increasing your compassion, increasing your joy and being shared with

685
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: someone else. We've been so used to experiencing our autonomy

686
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: and getting joy from that, which is a beautiful model, which,

687
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: by the way, I completely understand. But how do we

688
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: now switch our joy from being from autonomy to being

689
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: this relationship with this individual? And I know that when

690
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: you allow yourself to go there, as you said, you

691
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: already enjoy being a mom. And I don't think autonomy

692
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 1: is just going to come back around, as you said,

693
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 1: so to me, using it as an experiment in increasing

694
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: your compassion, increasing your empathy, increasing your love is a

695
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: beautiful way. And the second thing I'd say is definitely

696
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 1: still find time, even if it is trading places to

697
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: create that autonomous time. I think it may be less now,

698
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: but if you can find that one evening a week,

699
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: or maybe it's one day a month where you can

700
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,760
Speaker 1: carve out that time to be completely free and allow

701
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: yourself to really explore that. Yeah, that's all great. Yeah

702
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: I would say that too. I mean, it sounded like

703
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: you already have the answer there yourself. You're just going

704
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: through a little about of growing pains acclimating to the

705
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 1: life of being a new mom, which so I mean,

706
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: I just had this conversation with a girlfriend yesterday and Colleen,

707
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 1: who was on our podcast recently, was talking about when

708
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: you have a child, you become a slave to that

709
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: child for the next five to six years. But what

710
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: Jay said is absolutely right. You just you have to

711
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 1: own that, you know what I mean, instead of letting

712
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: it happen to you, you know, make it happen, make

713
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: it what you want it to be, make it the

714
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: relationship you want it to be, and carve out that

715
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: time for you whatever you can afford to carve out,

716
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: if you can afford to have a babysitter one night

717
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 1: a month, even if you could go on play dates

718
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 1: with other people who have the same age children, so

719
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: it's taking some of the pressure off. So there's a

720
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: group of people around because that way you can also

721
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: commiserate with other people and that's a good feeling to

722
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: a remind yourself that you're not the only one and

723
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: that you're not alone. But to rise above this moment

724
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: and to move forward after this moment is a huge

725
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 1: opportunity for growth and a huge opportunity for you to

726
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: become the mother that you always wanted to be. So

727
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: you have a vision and a visual in your head

728
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: of the kind of parent you want to be, Like,

729
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: this is the time to start getting ready to become

730
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: that parent, you know, and saying goodbye to your old

731
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: self because that's that's not who you are anymore. Now

732
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: you are a mother. You're still that person, but now

733
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: you have a child. So that's not like the end

734
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: of the world. It's the beginning of something really, really beautiful.

735
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: And it's just about embracing the moment that you're in

736
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 1: and being there and being present in every moment with

737
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 1: your child that that you're that you can allow yourself

738
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: to be present, because that's going to give you so

739
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: much in return, instead of focusing on all the time

740
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: you've lost for yourself, focusing on all of the things

741
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: that you have now with another person. And what you

742
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: said is you're already there, So you just needed us

743
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: to nail that nail that hammer and or nail, I

744
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: guess nail that nail. And I'm really not good with

745
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: tools or any started sort of home improvements. And another

746
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: thing you can do if your family can't afford to

747
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: have a babysitter every weekend or as often as you

748
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 1: might need to sort of have some alone time, you know,

749
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: what you can do is find someone else, maybe they

750
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 1: have a child a similar age to yours, but find

751
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: somebody else who maybe it's some other mom or another

752
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: couple who also needs a date night, also needs some

753
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 1: time away, and just say like, hey, let's make a plan.

754
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: Maybe it's every week, maybe it's once a month or whatever,

755
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: but make a plan to say, hey, you guys need

756
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 1: date night, and so do we You take the kids

757
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: on Friday, we'll go out. We'll take the kids on

758
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 1: Saturdays and we'll go out, or just I'll go out.

759
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 1: And I think it goes back to what Jay said

760
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 1: to about like the hardest job in the world or

761
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 1: one of the hardest jobs in the world as motherhood,

762
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: and having that reframing. Yeah, it's like they don't give

763
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 1: you a psychological like warning. They just yeah, well know,

764
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: a warning, like, this is how you're gonna feel, and

765
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to adjust because I've always said it's

766
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: like nine months is not long enough to prepare for

767
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,240
Speaker 1: a baby. No time is long enough to prepare because

768
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: one day you can leave your house and then the

769
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 1: next day you can never leave your house again until

770
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: you have to make sure somebody has your baby. So yes,

771
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: it's an adjustment, for sure. And some people make it

772
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: seem effortless and others it's not as effortless for so yeah,

773
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 1: and in about like third teen years, they won't want

774
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: to be with you at all. Remember that, you know,

775
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,479
Speaker 1: there's a time limit. Yeah, It's funny how that happens, right,

776
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: Like parents are always like, oh my god, this is

777
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,720
Speaker 1: all encompassing. It's time consuming, and then when they're teenagers

778
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: are like, what the what the funk happened to my baby?

779
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: So it's like you better remember. By the time you're

780
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: hip to whatever happened, it's over. You know. It's like

781
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,919
Speaker 1: once you realize that you're lucky to be young, and

782
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: you know, like, you know when you're young and people

783
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: are like, oh, well when you get older, you'll know.

784
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm never getting older and don't worry about it.

785
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: They're like, you're not gonna be able to do what

786
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: you do or act like you act when you're older.

787
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: You won't be able to drink like you did when

788
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,479
Speaker 1: you were in your twenties. I was like, of course

789
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: I will. I can't, you know, like and then I'm like, God,

790
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: why did I believe that when it was happening. Why

791
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: didn't I take advantage? You know, all of that stuff.

792
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: So everything that everyone says is true. Problem solved. Let's

793
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 1: leave it at that. Yes, Well, our next question comes

794
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 1: from Anthony and he's on the phone with us. Dear Chelsea,

795
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty eight year old living in Los Angeles.

796
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: I'm a bar to under in hopes of making it

797
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry. I've experienced seasonal depression for a

798
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,919
Speaker 1: few years now, and until recently, I was at such

799
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 1: a high. Every day felt good, and I thought I

800
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: was on the right path. I started therapy, meditation, journaling,

801
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 1: and even your podcast was a medicine for me. Around

802
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 1: November is when I started feeling those moods come around,

803
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 1: and it just got worse and worse. But now we're

804
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 1: a few weeks into the new year and I met

805
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: this standstill, and I don't know where to go. I'm

806
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 1: sure I'm going to get back into my happy days,

807
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: but then I'm concerned they'll fade once again. I guess

808
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: my question is how can I get happy and stay happy? Anthony?

809
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: Hi Anthony, Hey Anthony, nice to meet you. Nice to

810
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 1: meet you, guys. Hi. This is Jay and Catherine is here,

811
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: who you've spoken to already. Hi? J Hi Catherine, Nice

812
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:54,959
Speaker 1: to see you again. H Hi. How are you? I'm

813
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: doing good? How about yourself? We're good? Thank you. We're

814
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: just talking about the merits of parents NG and and

815
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 1: then the downside of which is a long, lengthy list.

816
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: Anyway over to you though, So did you say you're

817
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: in therapy? I was last year. I stopped right around October. Okay.

818
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: And do you take medication of any sort? I don't.

819
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: I've never I've never done that. It's something that I'm

820
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: not opposed to either. I just have not gotten the

821
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: chance to get in that conversation with anyone. Okay, So

822
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: what you're feeling like you feel like you can go

823
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: like what what duration of time is it typically? Do

824
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 1: you seem to have like a mood? Last four is

825
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: it weeks or months or seasons, like the good moods

826
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: or the bad mood either. So I guess recently my

827
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: good moods were for like like three months, but then

828
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: it's just it's been now been three months where they're

829
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: more down moods, So they're really all over the place. Okay,

830
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,360
Speaker 1: and what and so you do meditate? Are you physically

831
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 1: active and all of the things that help you kind

832
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: of stay up. Yeah, when I was up, what I

833
00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: noticed the most was that I was meditating, I was hikinging,

834
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 1: I was listening to podcasts such as Yours, I was

835
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: going to therapy, And slowly I stopped doing those as much.

836
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 1: It wasn't like a daily thing anymore. And so yeah,

837
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 1: I was doing that, but they slowly stopped. Yeah, I

838
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: would say right off the bat, you're allowing the way

839
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: you feel to dictate your mood rather than allowing your

840
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: activities and your practices to dictate your mood. You know,

841
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: like when we're feeling down or we're feeling low, that's

842
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: when we really need to lean on our tool kit

843
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: the most, because feeling good is great, but you don't

844
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: need a lot of help there, right, So it's important

845
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: on the days where you don't feel like exercising, where

846
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: you don't feel like meditating, to get those in so

847
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: that the feeling remains consistent, you know what I mean,

848
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: So that shouldn't feel so black and white with your

849
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: ups and your downs. And maybe there is a there

850
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 1: is a you know, diagnosis of some sort that you

851
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: might need to seek out from a professional. You know,

852
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: maybe you are slightly depressed, and maybe it is a

853
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 1: good mood disorder. But I would say, you know three

854
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 1: like nothing is I'll let Jay speak to this, but

855
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: nothing lasts forever. You cannot expect to be in a

856
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 1: great mood every single day when you wake up, and

857
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: you also can't feel like when you aren't in a

858
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 1: great mood that that is going to be the way

859
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: it's going to be for the next three weeks or

860
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: three months, because you're resigning yourself and you're almost capitulating

861
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: to something that doesn't exist yet. You know, you're in

862
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: charge of your happiness, you're in charge of your moods,

863
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: and as long as you're doing everything you can to

864
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: keep like all the things that you know that work,

865
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: which are meditation, exercise, listening to podcasts that make you

866
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: feel good or make you think and kind of filling

867
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 1: yourself up with that, you will have more control over

868
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 1: those moods. And if at that point you still are

869
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit off and it's if it's more

870
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: of a medical thing, then yeah, absolutely, I'm sure there's

871
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: a medical professional or a therapist or a psychist psychiatrist

872
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: that will be able to kind of experiment with prescribing

873
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: you something, but it probably it may not even come

874
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: to that. Do you want to speak a little bit

875
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: about impermanence? And definitely, I think Anthony and I agree

876
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: with everything that Chelsea just shared right now. I think

877
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 1: it's great advice. I think one of the biggest things

878
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: you just explained yourself, Anthony was that when your habits stopped,

879
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 1: your happiness started to go down. And what I always

880
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: say to people is like, just because you ate a

881
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: great meal today doesn't mean you don't eat for the

882
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: next three days. Right. Let's say I ate a lot

883
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,479
Speaker 1: of food today, I wouldn't stop eating for the next

884
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: week and hope that I stay full. And sometimes with

885
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 1: our mood and our happiness, we do that we feel

886
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: really good today and we're like, Okay, I did a

887
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: lot of meditation today, I did a lot of sleep

888
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,439
Speaker 1: this month. I don't need it for the next seven

889
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 1: days or the next seven months. So I would definitely

890
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: work on those habits. At the same time, I think

891
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 1: we have created a mindset in society that we should

892
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 1: always feel happy, and that happiness is a sign that

893
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: we should do things. I would actually say that the

894
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: biggest skill we can work on is developing the ability

895
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: to do things when we don't feel like doing them.

896
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: So it's else you were saying when I go to

897
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: work out and I and I, by the way, experienced

898
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: this today. I've had four hours sleep the last three

899
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: nights because I've been traveling, moving, things have been happening,

900
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 1: and I managed to go to the gym, and I

901
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: know for a fact that I feel better because I went.

902
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: And so what I've realized is good habits they feel

903
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: bad before you do them, but they feel amazing afterwards.

904
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: And bad habits they feel great before you do them,

905
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 1: and they feel terrible afterwards. And so it's tricking our

906
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: mind to recognize, Well, wait a minute, when I'm actually

907
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: going I don't want to meditate today, I don't want

908
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: to exactly what Chelsea said, that's exactly the time I

909
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: want to dial in and the impermanence part. This is

910
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 1: where I want you to switch your north star. So

911
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 1: in your question, happiness and happy days were very clear

912
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 1: as your north star. That was your focus. I want

913
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 1: you to change your focus point to meaning and purpose

914
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 1: and I'll explain why. When when I trained as a monk,

915
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: we learned that looking for happiness makes life very difficult

916
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: because there are so many things that happen your daily

917
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: life where you won't be able to find happiness. But

918
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: meaning and purpose is something you can always find. What

919
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: I mean by that is when you ask yourself, what

920
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: can I learn from this? What did this teach me?

921
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: Why do I think this came into my life? When

922
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 1: you start asking yourself those questions, you actually build your resilience,

923
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: you build your muscle, and now you can deal with

924
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: the challenges that come in the future. Whereas when you

925
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 1: go why am I not happy? That creates this real

926
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: gap of expectation and now you're chasing this illusiory thing

927
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: or impermanent thing that doesn't stay with you. So, for example,

928
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: I lost my I lost one of my greatest spiritual

929
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: mentors in my life to stage four brain cancer. I

930
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: couldn't go to his funeral in London because obviously all

931
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: the flights were shut down and that was at the

932
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 1: peak of the pandemic. I couldn't get back and losing him.

933
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: There was no happiness in that moment whatsoever, Like genuinely

934
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,840
Speaker 1: there was no happiness, but there was meaning. There was meaning.

935
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: I started to think about, like, what's the meaning of this.

936
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: I can't be with him, and I thought, wait a minute,

937
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 1: I can try and live what he taught me, and

938
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: that way he would live with me every day. I

939
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: can try to become everything he wanted me to be,

940
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: and so I could always extract meaning in even really

941
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: painful situations when happiness is something that you can't always extract.

942
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: So even when things are good, don't look for happiness,

943
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 1: look for meaning, because if you can extract meaning from

944
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: good things, you'll be able to extract them from bad things.

945
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: That makes so much sense, Yeah, I hear that, Je.

946
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: What would be or advice for somebody who is in

947
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: a depression where they're just like so in a funk,

948
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: They're like I can't even get out of bed today, Like,

949
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: what is that first step that you would have them

950
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: take in order to get to the point where they

951
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 1: can meditate or go to the gym or yes. So

952
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 1: in that situation, I would say what else he was

953
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: saying earlier, I would go and do a medical examination,

954
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: see a professional. The reason why I'm saying that is

955
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: if you're saying that you can't even get out of bed,

956
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 1: that's a reason to go and see someone Like I

957
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: don't think that's something you sit and solve on your own.

958
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: Just as if I couldn't get out of my bed

959
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 1: in the morning because my legs hurt, I wouldn't try

960
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: and figure that out on Google. I would pick up

961
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: the phone and call my doctor and say, my legs

962
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 1: are not working today and I work up. If you're

963
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: waking up in the morning and you go I just

964
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: can't get out of bed, I would go and see someone.

965
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: I'll give an example of even something very small. A

966
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 1: lot of it's biological as well. Like recently, I was

967
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 1: talking to my health coach and she had me do

968
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: my you know, my nutrients test and my vitals in

969
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 1: my medical exam, and she told me that my vitamin

970
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: D level was at a ten. She was saying that

971
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: the average is sixty and the ideal as a hundred,

972
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 1: and she said to me, She goes, Jay, I don't

973
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 1: even know how you get out of bed in the morning,

974
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 1: let alone live your life. Now, I don't feel that emotionally,

975
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: but I started working on improving my vitamin D. I

976
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: promise you I have never felt more energy in my life.

977
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: And it can be biological. Sometimes we get so heady

978
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: about we think it's all in our head and like

979
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: it's all mental. It's not. Sometimes it's truly biological. You're

980
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,399
Speaker 1: you know, and we have to go and get those

981
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: tests done. So yeah, that's a great point too. Yeah.

982
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 1: I had the same thing with an iron deficiency, Like

983
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: I was so sluggish I was, So it could be

984
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 1: something as simple as that, you know. So that's another

985
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 1: reason to explore that, Anthony, do you feel like there

986
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: is a chance you suffer from some depression? Do you

987
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: feel that way? Yeah, definitely. Throughout my high school life,

988
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 1: I definitely started feeling depression, and I think it's gone

989
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: into my adulthood. So I've definitely done the practices like therapy, meditation,

990
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: but I'm at a point now that I'm like, maybe

991
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: I do need to see a professional to get some

992
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: type of advice or maybe medication, because that's something that's

993
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 1: a route I have not gone down yet. It's just

994
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: tiring to do all the work and get to the

995
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: good part and then come to a standstill once again

996
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: after putting all the work and being like, wow, what

997
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 1: was all that for? If if I'm back to this

998
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 1: low point. Yeah, but doing all the work doesn't guarantee

999
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: that you're not going to have low points. I do

1000
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: understand life is not all about being happy. There's always

1001
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: going to be low points. But what I mean is

1002
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: that it's such a big difference, like i'be at such

1003
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 1: a high point and then like a month later, I'm

1004
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: at such a low point too, and it's such a

1005
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: differ lifestyle for me then that I'm not doing anything

1006
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,240
Speaker 1: towards my future, towards what makes me happy. So yeah,

1007
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 1: Anthony had also add that, you know, I really want

1008
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 1: you to take a moment today to just own that

1009
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: you have felt really good and you have done the work.

1010
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: Like I want you to take a moment today and

1011
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: sit back. When you said to me, I meditate, I

1012
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: go to therapy. You know, when you were listening on

1013
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: your question, I was saying, Wow, this this person is amazing,

1014
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: Like the fact that you've made time the fact that

1015
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: you have prioritized the fact that you've actually done that

1016
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 1: and you felt great for it. I wanted to take

1017
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:35,280
Speaker 1: a time out today to just celebrate that, be grateful

1018
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: to yourself, and acknowledge yourself for having done the work,

1019
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 1: because it sounds like when you were doing the work

1020
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: and you were owning it, you were feeling great. And

1021
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: I just want you to remember that, because sometimes we

1022
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: forget that, actually there was a time when I was

1023
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: doing the work and I was feeling great. Let me

1024
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: go back to doing the work. So I want you

1025
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: to take our time today to celebrate that, to be grateful,

1026
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: to honor it. And by the way, Anthony, we've all

1027
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: been on such a roller coaster for the last two

1028
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 1: years that the way you're feeling should not be seen

1029
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 1: as unnatural or strange, like we don't even know how

1030
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: we've all been effective in the last two years. So

1031
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 1: the fact that in that time you were able to

1032
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 1: practice meditation, to go to therapy, to take advice, hats

1033
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 1: off to you. I'm impressed by you, honestly, I genuinely am,

1034
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: and I want you to feel impressed by yourself, and

1035
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: I want you to own that. I will thank you

1036
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 1: very much. Definitely do that, okay, Anthony, Well, I hope

1037
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,359
Speaker 1: you feel better soon and keep us posted. Okay, let

1038
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: us know if you discover something new, first get that

1039
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: blood work done before probably even you go to like

1040
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist to see if you have some sort of deficiency.

1041
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 1: Check all the boxes so you have all the information

1042
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: that you can get and that's and then that becomes

1043
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: another tool. I definitely would do that. And I wanted

1044
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: to say thank you so much to you because your

1045
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 1: podcast inspired me to do my own podcast with my

1046
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: best friend. It you plug about mental health and therapy

1047
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So I appreciate your podcast a lot. Great.

1048
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:04,319
Speaker 1: What's your casts called? It's called How's Your Heart? I

1049
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 1: like that cos well, thanks Anthony, and uh yeah, keep

1050
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: us posted on on how things go. Thank you so

1051
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: much for your time. Yeah you too. Okay. I hate

1052
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 1: that desultry feeling where you're like you could tell by

1053
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 1: the look in someone's eyes. You know, it's just like

1054
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:25,800
Speaker 1: you're exhausted and you have your listless and that feeling

1055
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 1: is no fun at all. Definitely not no. Yeah, I

1056
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: like that book. I talked about this book before letting go.

1057
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 1: Do you have you read that, David Hawkings. I love

1058
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: that when you're when you're down, how to pull yourself up,

1059
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,280
Speaker 1: like when you're down if you're an ego or shame

1060
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 1: or depression, and how to bring yourself up through courage

1061
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: to get to like the higher levels and vibrations. Um.

1062
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: That always reminds me that, like you know, you always

1063
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 1: have to we're in charge of clearing out our cobwebs

1064
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: and bringing ourselves back up to a place of action

1065
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: rather than reaction. Yes. Yeah. Our next question comes from

1066
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: Sydney Dear Chelsea. I'm forties six years old, single mom

1067
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 1: to a sassy fifteen year old girl, and have for

1068
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 1: the most part, had a great life. I didn't have

1069
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: much luck with love in my twenties or thirties, a

1070
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: bad marriage, occasional boyfriends and casual relationships, but that never

1071
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: kept me down. I have the best girlfriends who have

1072
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 1: filled my life with laughter, love and crazy girl's trips.

1073
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 1: In my early forties, I finally found love. I met

1074
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: an amazing man and we had a little over three

1075
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: great years together until he was devastatingly diagnosed with stage

1076
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: four cancer. He passed away eight months later in June

1077
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: of last year. I'm working through my grief and the

1078
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 1: trauma of his illness and death with the supportive therapy,

1079
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: friends and family. But I'm honestly just so sad and lost.

1080
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 1: I'm generally a positive and strong person, but now I'm

1081
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: left feeling like, now what given. I've spent most of

1082
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 1: my adult life single. It's not like I can't be alone,

1083
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: but after experiencing deep and easy love, I'm craving that

1084
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: feeling and hoping it's possible again. I just don't know

1085
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 1: where to start, and wonder if I'm too broken to

1086
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: even consider another relationship. Any advice you can provide or

1087
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 1: just make me laugh? Sydney, Hi, Sydney, Hi, Sydney. Hello,

1088
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Hi. This is j Shett. He's

1089
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:33,919
Speaker 1: our guest today. Nice. I'm so sorry about your loss.

1090
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 1: Oh God. So the good news is that you were

1091
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 1: able to have this relationship right in your forties, in

1092
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 1: your early forties, where a lot of women think that

1093
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: it's a rap and they're never going to meet anybody.

1094
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 1: So it was shown and demonstrated to you that that

1095
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: is possible, that that was alive and well, and you

1096
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair that ended tragically, but you

1097
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 1: had a beautiful love affair, and that's your hope. You know,

1098
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:04,879
Speaker 1: that is your hope right there, that's all the hope

1099
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 1: you need. It happens to you once, it can happen

1100
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: to you again, and you might not be I don't

1101
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 1: know what what state of mind are you in right now?

1102
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: Like you know, I don't know if you're ready to

1103
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 1: day you tell us how are you feeling these days?

1104
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling like I need to be distracted, which

1105
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:24,479
Speaker 1: is crazy. I'm I'm in full Greek right now, right

1106
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: and I'm sad, and so I'm being distracted by friends

1107
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 1: and you know, the automent here and there, although lockdown

1108
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,399
Speaker 1: is not a good time, but so it's like part

1109
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: of me looks too like I want that again. I

1110
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: want that again. I know now is not the time,

1111
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 1: but I also just want to be able to hope

1112
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 1: for it. That makes sense, Yeah, I think absolutely, And

1113
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 1: I think hope is sometimes better than the reality, you

1114
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 1: know what I mean. The idea and the fantasy is

1115
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: sometimes a better elixer than than the actuality. So like

1116
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:57,720
Speaker 1: it is a great opportunity for you to hold onto

1117
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 1: everything that you had with this wonderful man that came

1118
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 1: into your life, and thank God you were in his

1119
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 1: life so that he had someone to leave this life

1120
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 1: with right knowing that he was loved and knowing that

1121
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 1: he loved you. So these are all beautiful, beautiful things. Obviously,

1122
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 1: it's not an ideal situation, but what you can take

1123
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: out of it can bring it back into your life again.

1124
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: I think, and now it's probably not the right time

1125
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: to be going on dates and doing all of that

1126
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: if you're grieving and you're dealing with this heavy loss

1127
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: and there is a respectful amount of time that you

1128
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: want to spend mourning somebody. So I think the idea

1129
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 1: that you're even talking about moving forward is so healthy,

1130
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,640
Speaker 1: the idea that you're even talking about possibly meeting somebody,

1131
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: you know, there are so many people are like, it's

1132
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 1: never gonna happen. That's it. I got my last thing, Like, no,

1133
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 1: there's no reason not to be greedy and and say

1134
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,880
Speaker 1: I get more. You know, I deserve more. I deserve

1135
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 1: another love, you know, a different love or something just

1136
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 1: as powerful. Who knows. But I think holding onto hope

1137
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: is a great survival tool, and it's a way to

1138
00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 1: help us all through grief and honoring all of the

1139
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: wonderful things that he brought into your life, and honoring

1140
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,839
Speaker 1: all the beautiful love that you had and having that

1141
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: just be sacro sanc to you know, in your in

1142
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: your mind and really paying respect to that. And you're

1143
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: gonna know when it's time to put yourself on a

1144
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 1: dating site or to agree to be set up with somebody,

1145
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 1: You're gonna know that. But there's nothing wrong with going

1146
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: through the emotions of grieving. That is the way to

1147
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 1: get healthy again. Thank you for that, agreed. Right, Like,

1148
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 1: I've thought about dating safe, but I know it's for

1149
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: unhealthy reasons, right, It's just that I want something else

1150
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: to distract me. So the fact that I'm not doing

1151
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: and goes to show and I'm not ready. M hmmm. Yeah.

1152
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: And where do you live in in Canada? What part trual? Oh? Oh, well,

1153
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: I can make give you a night of laughter. You

1154
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: can come to one of my shows in Toronto at

1155
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 1: the end of March. We're gonna hook you up with

1156
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: free tickets. Okay, alright, alright, yeah, yeah, absolutely, that'll be

1157
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: a great night. You can bring a girlfriend or bring

1158
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: a couple of girlfriends, whatever you want. We'll sort it

1159
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: out for you. You but I'm performing there at some

1160
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: point in March, so we will hook that up. Awesome, Jay,

1161
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: what did you want to add? I I just again,

1162
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: I agree with everything Chelsea said and Sydney, you know,

1163
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing I want you to remember

1164
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 1: is don't feel guilty for wanting to be distracted, or

1165
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: don't feel guilty for just trying to stay busy, because

1166
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: I think that is part of your grieving process, and

1167
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 1: so allowing yourself to just be like, I have just

1168
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: gone through something that is really painful. It's you know,

1169
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: it's really tough, but I'm going to allow myself to

1170
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 1: to feel that distraction. I'm gonna allow myself to feel that.

1171
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 1: I think putting the pressure on yourself to be like, oh, well,

1172
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 1: you know, I want to get back to life as usual.

1173
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: That kind of trying to run away from a situation

1174
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: almost makes you run towards it even quicker, and so

1175
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: I think giving yourself that space and grace. I literally

1176
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 1: just I mean, I had no idea. I literally just

1177
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 1: spoke to our previous guests and I was saying that

1178
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 1: not comparing at all, because it wasn't a love affair,

1179
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: but I I lost my spiritual mentor who have known

1180
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: since twelve. It was like a father figure. He spoke

1181
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 1: of my wedding, and he died of stage four brain

1182
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 1: cancer in and I couldn't see him, and I couldn't

1183
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 1: be with him in those last few months because of

1184
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 1: the pandemic, so I couldn't get back. And when I

1185
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 1: was in that situation, for me, it was just like, well,

1186
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,440
Speaker 1: what did he give me that he would be really

1187
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: proud that I carried on living on? Like what were

1188
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,919
Speaker 1: the gifts that he gave me? Whether his love, whether

1189
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 1: his mentorship, where his guidance, whether it was you know,

1190
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: being confident with me always. I want to go and

1191
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 1: give that to others. And I really found that that's

1192
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 1: really helped me when I'm grieving, is giving to others

1193
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: what what that person gave me. When I can go

1194
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 1: and pass on and share those gifts, that gives you

1195
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 1: such a sense of that person is present with you

1196
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: in the right way and that you're actually continuing to

1197
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 1: serve that relationship. I love that. That's a great idea

1198
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 1: because he gave me so many gifts and the gift

1199
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 1: of hope that I even have to do thank you.

1200
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: You're gonna be just fine. It's gonna be okay. I

1201
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 1: hope so, I hope so well, you know what, Chelseae,

1202
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 1: this show is distracting me a lot. That's a good distraction. Yeah,

1203
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 1: you're like my girlfriend on the weekend that I listen

1204
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: to as you know, do my housework and stuff. So

1205
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 1: thanks so much for that. Absolutely my pleasure. Yeah, okay,

1206
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: take care of Thanks Sydney by everyone. Bye. Wow, that's

1207
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: a lot. Our last question comes from Julia. Dear Chelsea,

1208
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 1: absolutely love the podcast and how real you are when

1209
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 1: giving advice. I would love your insight when it comes

1210
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 1: to developing boundaries with an addict. My dad is an

1211
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 1: alcoholic has been my entire life. Over the years, our

1212
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 1: relationship has become strange due to his addiction and his

1213
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 1: behavior well drunk. But I just had my first child,

1214
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 1: and although I don't have much contact with him by choice,

1215
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 1: I feel an odd sense of guilt not letting him

1216
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 1: around my child. I know it's for the best, but

1217
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: I can't shake the feeling that I need to give

1218
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: him an opportunity to have a relationship with his grandchild.

1219
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 1: Should I leave things as they are or give him

1220
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 1: an opportunity to form a relationship. Obviously, with boundaries. Thanks Julia. Yeah,

1221
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 1: you just have to create boundaries so that he's only

1222
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: around your father when he's sober, or your daughter or

1223
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 1: son is around your father when they're sober. But if

1224
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: you have that feeling, then that's your strongest indicator that

1225
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: you should move forward with it. You know, if your

1226
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: relationship has become streamed, that's totally understandable with somebody with addiction,

1227
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 1: but it's also it's not your son or daughter's fault.

1228
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,439
Speaker 1: And you can give him a little bit of room

1229
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 1: and see how he responds to that. It might actually

1230
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 1: help his drinking. You never know, you know, he might

1231
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: be inspired and want to be a bigger presence in

1232
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 1: your child's life, and it might have that impact. I mean,

1233
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 1: don't go in there with that hopefulness, but go in

1234
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: there just you know, with your eyes wide open, and

1235
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 1: I think you'll get your answer sooner than later of

1236
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 1: whether or not it was a good decision or maybe

1237
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: you know you need to pull it back some more.

1238
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 1: But I think it will probably turn out for the best.

1239
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything negative that can happen when

1240
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: you're you know, wanting to just spread love and family

1241
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: with your family within your family, and we all have

1242
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 1: those kind of familial obligations. You don't want to use

1243
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: the word duty, but a lot of times family is duty.

1244
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 1: It's like you owe it to your child, and you

1245
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 1: owe it to your father and then just see what happens.

1246
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 1: I would say, what do you think? No, I can't

1247
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: agree more. I think the thing with barriers is that

1248
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 1: you want to make sure that they're really clear for

1249
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: you and for others. And so if you are going

1250
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 1: to set barries, which it sounds like as chure saying

1251
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 1: that you need to, and it sounds like you must

1252
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 1: create barriers that are really clear for you, really outline them,

1253
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 1: be so aware and so sure about when yes, when no,

1254
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 1: because that allows you to free yourself of the anxiety

1255
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 1: and stress. Because I know that those moments can be

1256
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 1: so like full of just nerves and stress and pressure

1257
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:49,080
Speaker 1: that the only way you let go of there and said, well,

1258
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 1: I've just set really clear guidelines for myself to follow.

1259
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 1: So there's something in psychological if then so like, if

1260
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're gonna do. If

1261
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 1: this happens, then this is what we're going to do.

1262
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 1: And I think creating a what if or if then

1263
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 1: plan is really important in your scenario because it sounds

1264
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 1: like there may be multiple different versions of how this

1265
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 1: could play out, and I would just take a bit

1266
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,240
Speaker 1: of time up front to set those barriers so that

1267
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 1: there's not too many surprises. And if something beautiful happens,

1268
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 1: like well Chelsea recommended, then you're actually just grateful for

1269
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:20,680
Speaker 1: it and see it as a bonus. But you set

1270
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: yourself up to make sure that you're not stressing yourself

1271
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 1: out in those close connected family connections. Yeah, that's an

1272
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,360
Speaker 1: easy one to find out, you know soon enough, whether

1273
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 1: it's a good decision or not. Yeah. Absolutely, Well, let's

1274
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back with j

1275
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:48,439
Speaker 1: Chtty and Chelsea, and we are back. We are back, Jay.

1276
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 1: I believe this is the time in the show where

1277
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: you are supposed to ask me for a piece of advice.

1278
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 1: I know, and I have so many things I want

1279
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 1: to ask you. Literally, I've been sitting here this whole time.

1280
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 1: I was sitting before. When I was thinking about I

1281
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 1: was like, what do I want to ask us for advice?

1282
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 1: What do I want to stress for? At least I

1283
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 1: think the advice I'm going to ask you for, Chelsea

1284
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna take this opportunity to be selfish

1285
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 1: to ask a question for me personally. Great, well that's

1286
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 1: what this is about. Good, Okay, all right, So then

1287
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 1: I'm then I'm just following the advice that my My

1288
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:19,520
Speaker 1: question would be, You've been in this industry for a

1289
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 1: long long time, You've done so many different things, You've

1290
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 1: won so many different hats. What has made you happiest

1291
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 1: and most content on this journey? And how would you

1292
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 1: advise As I work and continue to create my work

1293
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 1: and purpose that you see me doing, what would be

1294
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: your advice for how I can stay truly aligned to

1295
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 1: my purpose and continue to seek that contentment and happiness

1296
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 1: in that journey. I think that's probably a different answer

1297
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: for different people, right I know for myself that having

1298
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 1: an identity independent of my identity in the world has

1299
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 1: always been the most valuable thing in my life. That

1300
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 1: I have a life that's outside of Chelsea handler, that

1301
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: I have a personal life, that I have hobbies that

1302
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,280
Speaker 1: I'd love to ski. You know, that's something that I

1303
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: just said to myself as a young kid. I was like,

1304
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 1: I'm just going to become so successful that I'm going

1305
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: to pay somebody to teach me how to become the

1306
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 1: best gear, like those things that give me so much

1307
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 1: joy and that are independent of my career, because I

1308
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,479
Speaker 1: think in the beginning, you think you could just be

1309
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 1: both things at the same time. You can have your

1310
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 1: personal and professional and just blend the two. And I

1311
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 1: think I would urge everyone to reconsider that and to

1312
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 1: spend as much time making as many deposits as you

1313
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:39,400
Speaker 1: can into your outside life as you do to your

1314
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 1: professional life. You know, it's like filling up your filling

1315
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:46,000
Speaker 1: up your jar. Right, That is such great advice. Thanks. Well,

1316
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: I mean that's why I'm doing this podcast, spreading I'm

1317
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 1: just spreading wisdom, you know what I mean, left, right

1318
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,760
Speaker 1: and center. It's just catch it if you can catch it.

1319
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 1: If you can people, Well, Jay, where can everyone find you?

1320
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: I would love for everyone to come then listening to

1321
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: On Purpose, which is my podcast where I've interviewed Chelsea before.

1322
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 1: We had a beautiful conversation, and of course on the

1323
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 1: Daily Jay exclusively on Calm, where you can meditate with

1324
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: me for seven minutes to day if you want to

1325
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 1: start a new habit. And on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and

1326
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 1: TikTok and every social media platform out there, and don't

1327
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 1: forget his book, Think like a Monk. Great, thank you Jack.

1328
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 1: That was so I mean, I'm so amazed by you

1329
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 1: allow people to come on the show and really sit

1330
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: with them and their challenges in pain. I was really

1331
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 1: blown away by that. Oh nicely. It's a lot. It

1332
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 1: takes it takes a lot to actually sit down with

1333
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 1: that energy. So you know, people shared heavy stuff. It

1334
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 1: wasn't none of it was superficial. It was all real stuff.

1335
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, Well, on one woman called in for advice

1336
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:46,920
Speaker 1: about breastfeeding, and I was like, I don't know if

1337
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:49,720
Speaker 1: you've never heard anything I've said, but I'm not the

1338
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: person to ask, and I would appreciate no more breastfeeding questions.

1339
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:57,919
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Jay. Yeah, so grateful I could

1340
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 1: come in. And if you like to get advice from

1341
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 1: Chelsea and one of her guests, please write into Dear

1342
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:08,040
Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.