1 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: Hi. My name's Jamie Loftus, writer of Christmas classic Santa University. 2 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: I wanted to thank you for turning on this year's 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: installment of my seven hundred fifty page musical screenplay about 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: a university where forty thousand Santas are admitted every year 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: and thirty nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine of them 6 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: are brutally murdered before graduation day, revealing the one true Santa. 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: I realize that you have a number of Christmas entertainment 8 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: options this year, including an HBO Max special called Santa Incorporated, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: a new show that asks what if someone took the 10 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,239 Speaker 1: idea of Santa University and made it so fucking horrible? 11 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: But people return to Santa University every year for the 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: strength of its storytelling, its beloved characters, and the fact 13 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: that it's written in three hours or less each and 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: every year. The pages you're going to hear this year 15 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: are from a section of the script called Saunta University, 16 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: which is a section of Santa University that is basically 17 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: at the We saw there's new cast members, there's returning 18 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: cast members, and I thought, why not offer some director's 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: commentary for this momentous occasion. Between scenes, you'll be hearing 20 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: from two former disgraced Santa University actors, Miles Gray and 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: Robert Evans, who'll be commenting on this great media institution, 22 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: as well as some insights from myself. So please enjoy 23 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: Santa University. Five colon? Are we really still doing this? Colon? 24 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:33,559 Speaker 1: Santa University? Got it? Here we go. It's gonna be great. 25 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: Two three clasps. Yeah, I think that's gonna be really helpful. 26 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: Welcome to the full half decade of Santa University Memories. Wow, 27 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: my name is Jamie Loftus, and they keep making me 28 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: do it. I keep saying maybe not this year, but 29 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: they keep saying, hey, one more year. And now it's 30 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: been five years of Santa University the worst holiday tradition uh. 31 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: In podcasting, it's been an unproduced screenplay, one of those 32 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: kind of famous, uh you know, future legendary projects that 33 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: has just been floating around Hollywood for the better part 34 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: of a decade, just waiting for their right, oh tour 35 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 1: to take it on. Each year that I reveal more pages, 36 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: people get more excited, more invested in the in the story, 37 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: in the music, in the characters, and in my incredible writing. 38 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: Let's let's introduce everyone and the characters will be playing 39 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: in this the fifth installment of Santa University. I am 40 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien. I will be playing God Santa and Carlos Santanta. 41 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: Joel Hi, I'm Cassandra Santanta. Hello. I'm Caitlin Darante and 42 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: I will be reprising my role as Sully. I'm Wyat Fair. 43 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: I will be playing the role of Cram Zamboni. I'm 44 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,279 Speaker 1: Noah Britain. I'm playing Sam and Bony, which is mislabeled 45 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: Dan Zamboni sometimes. Okay, so I'm being docked on the 46 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: call intentional creative choices that I'm making, but go off. 47 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: My name is on a host name and I'm reprising 48 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,919 Speaker 1: my role of Gal Santa. I am sure. I'm going 49 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: to be playing into lacked Santa. I like that you 50 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: went anonymous this year. It's up prop on the rookie here, 51 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: and I'll be playing Jingle Saw. Hello. My name is 52 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: Maggie may Fish and I will be playing heavily armed 53 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: and volatile Santa originated by Robert Evans and improved upon. 54 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: But that's I'm Sophilectrimn and I agree with everything Maggie 55 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: just said, and I'll be playing lightly armed and reasonable Santa. 56 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: I'm Aristotle Assaveto and I will be playing Jamie Loftus. Wow, 57 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: role of a lifetime. I am Annie Brennan and I 58 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: am thrilled to be making my debut as can completely 59 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: fucked Santa and movie ticket holder. I'm Chris Crofton. I 60 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: am lucky enough to play Dan Santa because Miles Miles 61 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: couldn't do it. How what is what is the right 62 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,119 Speaker 1: way to phrase? It's like who took Over? Like you're 63 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: like the Robert Pattinson and Miles is the who is 64 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: the show before? Christian Christian Bail Bail Bail, Christian Bale, 65 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: am Rob Pattinson. My god, I feel yeah, well, I've 66 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: always thought of you as a Robert Pattinson type, so 67 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: this actually looks out perfectly. I feel so happy. Okay, guys, well, 68 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: I think I think you can tell it's time to 69 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 1: start reading Santa University because I feel like I'm about 70 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 1: to have a panic attack and I don't know if 71 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: this makes any sense. Interior Sawnta University, three pm. Exactly. 72 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: It's dark, really dark. Note to director, make sure the 73 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: crew is completely in the dark. And it's fucking freezing 74 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: for at least three hours before this is shot. Anything 75 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: less and I will know. Stop emailing me that this 76 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: shot can be replicated by a black tile card. You're 77 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: fucking wrong. We hear the tortured breathing of completely fucked Santa, 78 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: who wakes up in the dark. He's breathing, breathing. Oh shit, 79 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: he's coughing. Is he sick? Just kidding? He's fine, His 80 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 1: voice cuts through the darkness. Good. I thought I was sick. 81 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: It would be terrible to be sick this close to Christmas, 82 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: the holiday. Not that kind of sick. This script is 83 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: being written in two thousand and twelve. As a result 84 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: me Jamie the writer does not know what COVID nineteen 85 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: is and thinks she will be married with children on 86 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 1: some naval base in idiot. The lights snap on and 87 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: we see completely fox Santa strapped to a Christmas tree, 88 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: iron maiden with garlands. Spikes are pointed towards his head, 89 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: bobble ornament thumb screws are pointed to his completely fucked 90 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: Santa thumbs. Oh rats, I am beginning to realize why 91 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: I was named this. A little screen it up in 92 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: the room to reveal Jingle Saw, who looks exactly like 93 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: jig Saw from Saw, except he's got a little Santa 94 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: had on. Do you understand this is hilarious in concept 95 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: and execution And if it isn't, I would like to 96 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: blame the cast, crew, director, and everyone except myself. Hello, 97 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: completely fucked Santa. Hello, Jingle Saw. Wait, Jingle Saw hasn't 98 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: said what his name is yet. My name is Jingle Saw. 99 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 1: I know, I guess I just knew each other from before. 100 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: It's not my business. I want to play a game. No, 101 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: thank you. An ornament thumbscrew launches into completely Fucked Santa's 102 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: thumbs and the howls. I'm sorry. That was rude of me. 103 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: Where is Dan Santa? Dan Santa, the protagonist of Santa University? Yes, 104 00:06:54,600 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: who looks like ship and can't even read. Yes, I 105 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: don't know. We're not close. This is my first speaking 106 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: role and we're on page three seventy five Santa University. 107 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: Actually I had a brief role as a featured extra 108 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: in Santa University three. You when you lose, we never 109 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: get to find out what completely foxed Santa didn't Santa 110 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: University three, But that was a pretty weak installment. Anyways, 111 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: I think we can all agree the Christmas tree iron 112 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: made in slam, shut and completely foxed. Santa explodes into 113 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: a cloud of blood and ribbon flesh like Reagan would have. 114 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: If John Henckley Jr. Had just gotten his shipped together, 115 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: it would have been awesome. We cut two interior Jamie's 116 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: room PM on the dot and if it's the second off, 117 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: I'll fucking no. Jamie Loft is a twenty something and 118 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: don't you forget it? Did she get hotter during the 119 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: pandemic epic? Sits on the floor of her one bedroom 120 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: apartment with three hours left before Santa University five records. 121 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: She looks at her laptop, which is covered in jam 122 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: stands from all the little jelly waffles she makes intermittently 123 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: throughout the day like an obsessive, compulsive Yogi bear, and 124 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: she sweats. Wow. Year Philo of Santa University, and I 125 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: still haven't gotten a driver's license. Five years of releasing 126 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,119 Speaker 1: commagues from Santa University on a second rate podcast feed, 127 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: what's the fucking point? HBO Max made some ship called 128 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: Santa Incorporated this year, meaning that after nine years of 129 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: working on this seven myth, it all had come to nothing. 130 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: Sure whatever, Jamie isn't bothered. She looks at the computer 131 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,079 Speaker 1: screen with optimism. Something like that would never bother her, 132 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 1: Something like that wouldn't bother me. She begins to type 133 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: the jelly, staking to the keys ever so slightly in 134 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: a way that would make most people disgusted, but a 135 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: few select perverts very horny. Dan Santa opens his diploma. Suddenly, 136 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: Sam Zamboni and crans Amboni burst into her room like 137 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: a swat team. They're not a swat team anymore, not 138 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: after the events of the two thousand fifteen movies Swat Slut, 139 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: a film that was never released after word came out 140 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: that it was funded by the Tea Party. But they 141 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: can still kick a door in. Hey, what the heck 142 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 1: I'm writing Santa University here. We've been sent to shut 143 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: down Santa University. Oh thank god? I mean please, no, 144 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: don't why? We don't ask questions. We get a VENMO 145 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: request saying to shut down Stanta University with violence if necessary, 146 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: we do it. The venmo was only for fourteen dollars. 147 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: By the way, Jamie clutches her laptop protectively, her left 148 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: hand sticking to it a little. She turns to Sam, 149 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: who she thought was her friend, and Kran who she 150 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: started hooking up with. What was going on there? No 151 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: one really knows, and it is driving her nuts. You 152 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: can't stop me from writing another installment of Santa University. 153 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm too mentally ill. I'm sorry to do this. He 154 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: picks up an air friar Jamie got last Christmas and 155 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: never learned how to use, and lifts it over his head. 156 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: They never had a conversation about where things were headed. 157 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: Had the Krannon thought, huh interesting when she posted a 158 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: picture to her Instagram stories with his elbow in the corner? 159 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: Did that mean something? He was too shy to ask 160 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,079 Speaker 1: at the time him and now he was about to 161 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: assault her with a fad kitchen appliance. So it was 162 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: all gravy at this point. But someone gave me fourteen 163 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: dollars to do it, so I'm gonna do it. Obviously smashed. 164 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: The air fire hits Jamie's head and she passes out. 165 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: I wish anything for a little nap. Please don't assault 166 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: me within air fire, but if you do, don't wake 167 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: me up. So this year I decided to introduce a 168 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: fourth wall element to this story. Just kind of a 169 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: little look into my process, because every year when Santa 170 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: University comes out, I'm asked, Jamie, how do you have 171 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: so many genius ideas for this amazing screenplay? And wait, 172 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: how do you look so beautiful while you're having them? 173 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: And so this year I said, Okay, let's let people inside. 174 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: Let's tell them. Yes, I do have a fantasy where 175 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: two men break into my home and bonk me on 176 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: the head so I can sleep for once in my 177 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: fucking life. This next scene is what Santa University has 178 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: come to be known for, which is nuanced feminist commentary 179 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: through the only two women in the cast, Gal and 180 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: Intellect Santa, who are played for the fifth year running 181 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: by annahs n and Urine Lonnie Unice. Entering the cast 182 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: is newcomer Jason Petty a k A. Propaganda a k A. 183 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: Way too famous to be doing this as a character 184 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: I came up with completely by myself, without the help 185 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: of James Wan Jingle saw Cut two Interior Sawnta University. 186 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: The next day, it's dark again, but this time you 187 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: can use the black slide. For some reason, the light 188 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: slip on and we see Gal Santa and Intellect Santa, 189 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: the only two female characters in Santa University who experience 190 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: an electric shock every time they passed the Bechtel test. 191 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: They are chained to opposite side of the room. Gal Santa, 192 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,959 Speaker 1: Intellect Santa. They both experienced a rough shock to their 193 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,959 Speaker 1: best Mechtel test callers and look at their surroundings. It 194 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 1: is a cinder block room built for torture. They're chained 195 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: to the wall with jingle bell leather straps. Note I 196 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: have a connection to the Kink Unity that can get 197 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 1: us these for free and medieval torture stretching board in 198 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 1: the middle and the sonic torture of the Bob Dylan 199 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: Christmas album playing at full volume. Where are we? Why? 200 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: Bob Dylan? That's the children's choired to sing with him 201 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: on this Jingle Saw appears on the little screen again. 202 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: Hello Gal Santa. Who is that right? They haven't met before. 203 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: Jingle Saw is an entirely new character just the Santa 204 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 1: University Expanded universe. Hello Intellect Santa, Hello Jingle Saw. I 205 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,319 Speaker 1: don't understand how Intellex Santa would know who that is. 206 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: Remember me from the step team in high school? I 207 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: want you girls to play a game with me. Okay, 208 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: I'll think that's enough, you'd better release this jingle. Saw 209 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: my father is a very powerful man. He's Dean Santa, 210 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: the dean of Santa University, who will not appear this 211 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: year to lack of interest. Silence. I want you to 212 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: listen carefully. Do you know Dan Santa. Sure, he's the 213 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: protagonist of Santa University and Gal Santa's love interest. And 214 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: what would you say you would do to sage Dan 215 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: Santa's life? I don't know, Venmo, someone fourteen dollars gel 216 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 1: your Dan Santa's romantic interest. You can't say that, okay, 217 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:37,359 Speaker 1: But I thought you were dating Cool Santa, like the 218 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: the coolest Santa in school. Sure, I'm dating Cool Santa 219 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: for now. That is. Here's the thing. No matter how 220 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,439 Speaker 1: I feel about Dan Santa, even if I'm in love 221 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: as hell with him, there is no way he'll die 222 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: this early on. I may not be as smart as 223 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 1: you in Alexanta, but I do know three things. The 224 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: protagonist doesn't die in the middle, the moon landing was 225 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 1: egg and a third thing as well. And I know 226 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: two things that the Union bomber has some interesting ideas. 227 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 1: And the third thing Silence, You're lucky. The Uni bomber 228 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: will as a man or your little collars would have 229 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: gone off. I hate the back tilta shot collar. I 230 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: do too. The collars shot them shot colors are genderless, 231 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: so that passed the test. Okay, okay, okay, okay, here's 232 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: the game I want to play. Behold Dan Santa and 233 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: someone who I think works at hot topic. The screen 234 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: changes to surveillance footage of Dan Santa and God Santa 235 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: and their dorm room, laughing their asses off at the 236 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,120 Speaker 1: Sebastian Maniscalco special. He's got some good ones. Hey, that's 237 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: God Santa. Okay. If you want Dan Santa, the protagonist 238 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: of Santa University, to live, then the two of you 239 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: must kill each other before the clock strikes four thirty pm. 240 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: And if you don't, the script ends and we all disappear. 241 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: Why thirty pm, because that's when the zoom called to 242 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: record this year Santa University begins. No way, Jingle saw. 243 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: I'm not killing my best friend Gal just to save 244 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: Dan Santa. He looks like ship and well you know 245 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: the rest. I mean to be fair, at least one 246 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: of us just going to die before the end of 247 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: the school year. Anyways, only one Santa lives until graduation. 248 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: So you're saying you'd kill me. I'm saying that if 249 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 1: the script to Santa University ends, we all die. Shit, 250 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: oh shit, oh fuck. The Stinx City University are still rising. 251 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: Their callers go off again and they yelp in pain. 252 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: For the love of Christ. Now, if you're a listener 253 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: of Santa University, you'll notice this year we had a 254 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: changing of the guard when it came to the protagonist 255 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: of Santa University. I after playing the lead Dan Santa, 256 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: who famously looks like ship and can't even read for 257 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: four years, Miles Gray decided that he's actually a little 258 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: too busy this year. Maybe he's in love, maybe he's 259 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: planning a wedding. Maybe he doesn't want to quote unquote 260 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: fucking do this anymore, Jamie. And so this year he 261 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: was recast and cast out of my life, and we 262 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: brought Cris crofton into the role. You can hear Chris's 263 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 1: performance here, and I'll have a little chat with Miles 264 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: about his thoughts afterwards. Dan Santa, still looking like Ship 265 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: and not being able to read after all these years, 266 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: sits in his dorm room with his roommate Gos. Santa 267 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: still looking like a spindaly tall boyfriend who puts his 268 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: spider arms around his four ft ten girlfriend on the subway. 269 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: After all these years, I have to say, go Santa, 270 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: my roommate at Santa University, in my closest ally this 271 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: a Star is Born poster really ties the room together. 272 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: Star Is Born is too awesome movies, as Sebastian Maniscalco 273 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: is to hill various comedy. As I always say, wait 274 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: a second, then notice is a surveillance camera. Jingle Saw 275 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: watches from with his shitty eyes from across the room. God, 276 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: did you install a camera here? Install the camera in 277 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: the ceiling so I can take video footage of us 278 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 1: sleeping and turn it into an awesome music video. God 279 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: Santa spends the next three minutes rehashing his idea for 280 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: a music video of him and Dan Santa tossing and 281 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: turning over the course of a year. What thoughtful commentary 282 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: would be on the passage of time and on their friendship, 283 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: and how well it would compliment his shitty guitar music 284 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: that sucks. Dan Santa nods, patiently supporting his friend's bad art. 285 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: You're right, it would be interesting if the chorus came 286 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 1: back at the end of the song. It's an unconventional idea, 287 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: but I think it would work. But who put this 288 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,160 Speaker 1: camera here? Dan Santa looks at the surveillance camera more closely. 289 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: It has a label on it that reads, do not move. 290 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 1: This is Jingle Sauce camera to observe Dan Santa on. Yeah, 291 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 1: I don't think it says anything. In spite of your illiteracy, 292 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,919 Speaker 1: I will take your word for it because I am tired. 293 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: Let's let's flash our nipples to it to see if 294 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: it's working. The boys flash their nipples to camera, loudly 295 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 1: asking is this working? Interior jingles sauce layer Jingle Saw 296 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: looks at the tip, flashing with a thrill. Yes. Yes. 297 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to have a talk with Miles Gray, the 298 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: actor who originated the role of Dan Santa, and in 299 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: my opinion, really grew with the character over the years. 300 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: I'll show you what I mean. Here he is in 301 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: is Dan Santa. I'm gonna be a diploma list version 302 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: for freaking ever probably, And here he is last year 303 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: as Dan Santa. Hi, I'm Dan Santa. Can you hear 304 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: the difference? Now? That's artistry? And so with one great 305 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: actor assuming the role another great actor once played. I 306 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: wanted to talk to Miles about what he thought about 307 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: Chris Crofton's performance. Here's some of our talk. So how 308 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,359 Speaker 1: do you think that Chris? Did you know? It's funny 309 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 1: that you asked me about you know how I sort 310 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: of took in Chris's performance as Dan Santa. I I 311 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:28,120 Speaker 1: found it surprisingly to be quite brave. Um. More from 312 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: the perspective that someone who is so transparently unable to 313 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,400 Speaker 1: hack it talent wise would take on such a complex 314 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,959 Speaker 1: role um. And I don't mean that to be an insult. 315 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 1: I I honestly do believe that there is merit to 316 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 1: um that journey that he went on with the role 317 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: of Dan Santa. Now, I know it does seem harsh, 318 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,920 Speaker 1: but I think the thing that most people need to understand, 319 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: especially listeners you know, who have been listening to this 320 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: journey for the last few years, should know that you 321 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: know the time that I sort of spent um embracing 322 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 1: Dan Santa to really get into character, to get into 323 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: the mind of someone who a cannot read and be 324 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: looks like straight up shit. Um. The amount of time 325 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 1: invested to really get to that place to feel like 326 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 1: I was actually able to give that character dignity through 327 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 1: my words and performance. It was a very, very difficult task. 328 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 1: It took a lot of introspection. Um, and I just 329 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,360 Speaker 1: hope that, you know, for someone to just come in 330 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: with their you know, lazy fair attitude and rocker style 331 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: could just kind of completely paper over the work that 332 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,959 Speaker 1: I had done in previous iterations. I just don't want 333 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,880 Speaker 1: people to miss sight of the work that was done there. 334 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 1: But also, you know, you know, good for chris'man Santa 335 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: interior Jingle Saws layer. He turns to his two associates, 336 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: heavily armed and volatile Santa and lightly armed and more 337 00:20:54,119 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: reasonable Santa. Hey, hey, YouTube YouTube, my trusted associates. Make 338 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: sure those boys don't leave that dorm room, no probable. 339 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,159 Speaker 1: I'll intimidate them with my manny guns, which are also 340 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: my personality. And I'll intimidate them with my one gun, 341 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,920 Speaker 1: which I have for safety and tend to find myself 342 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: more by my friendships and hobbies which include pottery and 343 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 1: screen printing. Well, your n again, that doesn't make sense. 344 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: These are Jingle Saws trusted associates. He just said that 345 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 1: he'd know what their names are. My name is heavily 346 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 1: armed and volatile Santa. My name is lightly armed and 347 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 1: reasonable Santa. A right nice to meet you. I am 348 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: Jingle Saw. Wow, I've heard great things. They don't know 349 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 1: him either. We should go before someone gets onto your plan. 350 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,399 Speaker 1: Here's a little peek behind the curtain of the script 351 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,479 Speaker 1: that makes so much sense. And I work so freaking 352 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,760 Speaker 1: hard on that part you just heard. Heavily are volatile 353 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: Santa was originally written for my dear friend Robert Evans. 354 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: I wrote it at the request of his and my producer, 355 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: Sophie Lichterman. But Robert was in line for a booster 356 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: shot for quote unquote COVID nineteen something I think is 357 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: a hoax. No edit that out. Robert was in line 358 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: for the booster shot during the recording, and so I 359 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: wanted to ask him what he thought of his understudy, 360 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: Maggie Mayfish. But then he couldn't answer my question because 361 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 1: he was in the mountains, and so ultimately I didn't 362 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: get an answer. Thank you so much to my friend 363 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: Robert Evans, the most regular person I know. Let's carry 364 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 1: on with the show. Interior interrogation room across town. Someone 365 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,400 Speaker 1: is onto Jingle Saws plan. That is called plants and payoffs, 366 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,919 Speaker 1: and it only works if you do it back to 367 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,360 Speaker 1: back and right away. Two detectives who are also twins, 368 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 1: Carlos Santampa and Cassandra Santanta, sit in matching outfits across 369 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: from Sully, a great fucking guy from Walpole, Massachusetts. They 370 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 1: don't need to dress identically, but they do, and it's 371 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: kind of scary because they're in their thirties. Sully, do 372 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: you know why you've been brought here today? Sorry? Are 373 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: you married or twins? We'll take this one. Carlos, we're 374 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: married and twins. Thank you. Cassandra, I'll repeat my question. 375 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,880 Speaker 1: Do you know why you've been brought here today? I'm 376 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 1: assuming it has something to do with the austin. Carlos 377 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: and Cassandra looked at each other. What arson? Note? The 378 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: arson that Sully committed will come into play once on 379 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: page sixty nine, then never come up again. We're not 380 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: aware than the arston? Did you commit it? Silly tries 381 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: to distract her with his disarming charm. No, you're the 382 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,639 Speaker 1: cute one. Cassandra is disarmed and charmed by him. She 383 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: giggles shyly, Filly, I married to my twin Carlo Santanta. 384 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 1: We're here to ask you about a man known only 385 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: as Jingle Saw. Selly's eyes wide wow, he even stutters 386 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 1: in a disarmingly charming way. Stop flirting with him. She 387 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: stay at babe, don't call him babe. Jingle Saw. Oh 388 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: my god, that's not even new information at all. He 389 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: took me hostage first semester, right when Dan Santa got 390 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: to Santa University, and I was the first to shove 391 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,639 Speaker 1: him into a pile of rocks. Jingle sawce stuff. My 392 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: mouth was holly and played simply having a wonderful Christmas 393 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: time until I told him everything I knew about Dan Santa. 394 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 1: He's obsessed. It was a miracle. I got out alive. 395 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: How did you escape? Stop flirting with my wife? But seriously, 396 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,959 Speaker 1: how did you escape? All I had to do was 397 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: and stop flirting with my sister? But how did you escape? 398 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: All I had to do was get at Jingle Saws 399 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: one weakness. I almost took his mask off and he 400 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 1: ran out of the room. That's so addict It's like 401 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: the Phantom of the Opera. She turns to Carlos, who 402 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,400 Speaker 1: is not looking forward to another weekend of being cut 403 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 1: by his sister wife. Fortunately that will take place off screen. 404 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,639 Speaker 1: We've got to get over there before he can do 405 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,880 Speaker 1: any more damage, and maybe take his mask off and 406 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: maybe give him a little kiss. Cassandra, I have to say, 407 00:25:50,400 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: you're so fucking beautiful enough. Interior, Jamie's Room, two pm. 408 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,159 Speaker 1: There's only one hour until Santa University five records and 409 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 1: the writer of Sandy University is out cold. Sam and 410 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 1: cran Zamboni stand over Jamie's unconscious body with a plate 411 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: of Mozzarelli sticks that Sam whipped up on the air 412 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: friar that they knocked her unconscious with. It really is 413 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: so easy to use. I don't know why she didn't 414 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 1: just open it. Uh so what do we just like 415 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: leave her here? The venom instruction sent to do a 416 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: soft lobotomy? What like a selling sunset rewatch, No, just 417 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,679 Speaker 1: a little. He makes a cutting motion towards her scalp. 418 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: Cran Zamboni frowns, wishing he'd asked her for clarity before 419 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: smashing her skull in. Oh well, They leaned her back 420 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: and begin to perform the soft lobotomy. Note to director, 421 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 1: make sure you really show the lobotomy as it happens, 422 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: and that it's happening to a real person. Spare no expense. 423 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,400 Speaker 1: So what are you gonna do with your fourteen dollars? 424 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: I think that I was going to check out in 425 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: conto nice. Sam is so excited about the prospect of 426 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: seeing Encanto with his friend that his knife slips and 427 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: Jamie's entire body flips inside out. Noted director, I will 428 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: fund this personally as long as you can procure a 429 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: real cadaver. Whoops, ship, what did we do? We just 430 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 1: need to I guess we just need to make sure 431 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: that no one will be able to prove that we 432 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: accidentally flipped the writer of Standing University inside out. We 433 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: could uh light it on fire. I was going to say, 434 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: Bron's the body like a baby's shoe. That's a funnier idea. 435 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 1: Let's do that. This is an unpleasant development in the 436 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,879 Speaker 1: screenplay of Santa University. He looks at Jamie's laptop to 437 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: make sure that this was what was written to take 438 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: place in the scene. Yeah, but the says, what do 439 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: I say now? Cransamboni is just Sam Zamboni. The script 440 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: is Santi University something that exists in their world that 441 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: they also exist inside of. It makes their head to 442 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: hurt to think about it, so usually they just don't 443 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: think of at it. Sam reads from the computer wow 444 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: page Santa University, and the stakes are still rising. Yep, 445 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:14,720 Speaker 1: that's what it says. And now the choice to include 446 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: flipping my body inside out and then bronzing it like 447 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: a little baby shoe was once again just kind of 448 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: a look into who I am. I've been I've been 449 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: having this nightmare my entire life, because yes, would it 450 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 1: be interesting to have your inside guts exposed to the elements? 451 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 1: Of course? Would it be terrifying to be trapped inside 452 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 1: a golden coffin like a little sketcher's boot. Yes, And 453 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: this scene further explores how much I would really like 454 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: to just be asleep. It's a scene that says I'm 455 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: never ready to write Santi University and the thought of 456 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: it gives me a nose bleed. But this year I'm 457 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: uniquely not ready. So let's see did I stick the landing? 458 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, I didn't. Interior Dan Santa's dorm room at 459 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: Santi University, where the movie takes place, Dan Santa and 460 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 1: Gossanta continue their disgusting nipple display when heavily armed and 461 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 1: volatile Santa and lightly armed and reasonable Santa burst into 462 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: the room. Oh my gosh, just like in my well 463 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,080 Speaker 1: beturned dreams. Dan Santa pisses himself, partially because he has 464 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: a coward but mostly because I forget to give him 465 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: bathroom breaks in the script and he is too shy 466 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 1: to ask. Ah. Sorry, I was about to ask for 467 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:33,200 Speaker 1: a pea bread. Sorry, Dan Santa. Hey, those guns are scary. 468 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 1: Waits that by checks out of keep an eye on 469 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 1: you guys while he executes his confusing plan. I'm heavily 470 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:47,320 Speaker 1: on the volatile Santa, and I'm lately armed, but all right, 471 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: you're taking up enough space. Lightly armed Santa has fucking 472 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: had it. Heavily armed Santa has been giving her the 473 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 1: runaround for fucking years, all for having a more lighthearted, 474 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: in front of fun approach to life. She shoots him 475 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: to death. She leans over his corpse. I did request 476 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: to kill Robert h. I consider myself as a reasonable Santa, 477 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: and a lightly armed one at that. But when you've 478 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 1: got that volatile and heavenly armed, it was the only 479 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 1: reasonable thing to do. Wait, I love you. Lightly armed 480 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: that reasonable Santa shoots him directly in the head. Dan 481 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: and God Santa look on in wonder was really cool? 482 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: What is happening? Lightly armed Santa looks to the boys relieved. 483 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: I've been wanting to do that for years. Boys, none 484 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: of this is worth fourteen dollars. Gallant Intellect Santa are 485 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: being held hostage at Jingle saws Layer, and if you 486 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: don't get there by the next scene of Santa University, 487 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: this whole screenplay will cease to exist. Now, if you'll 488 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: excuse me, I'm going to reconnect with my teenage son. 489 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: She leaves the dorm with a dignity she has a 490 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: felt in years. Finally she is free. Goth and Dan 491 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 1: look at each other, confused whose jingle thaw Interior Santa University. 492 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 1: Gal and Intellect Santa are still chained to the wall, 493 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 1: holding jingle whips and self defense. Intellect Santa desperately tries 494 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: to reason with her. Gal Santa, we can figure this out. 495 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: No one needs to die for the screenplay of Santa 496 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: University to get finished. Speak for yourself, Intellect Santa. I 497 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: grew up with a shipload of money, and my capacity 498 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: for empathy has a very specific limit. Intellect Santa sheds 499 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: a tear. Had things really come to this a petty 500 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: physical altercation between her and her dearest friend. Then she 501 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 1: remembered they are the only two women in the script, 502 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: and therefore must hate each other for no reason. Bring 503 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: it unippit to the little bit for dance, sound for 504 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: the brilliant, amazing the script that girl burn. The two 505 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,640 Speaker 1: begin to spark to the death with jingle with in 506 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: a way that I am counting on the actor of photography, 507 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: a known pervert, to eroticize to a completely unnecessary degree 508 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 1: interior or exterior Jamie's backyard. PM. Oh my god. I 509 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: emailed everyone doing Santa University to say I needed fifteen 510 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 1: more minutes, but I probably need another hour. We'll see 511 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,480 Speaker 1: what happens. Oh my god. Sam and cran Zamboni have 512 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,120 Speaker 1: dug a hole to dispose of Jamie's body in, but 513 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 1: struggle to drag it out to the yard. I'm starting 514 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: to think we should have bronzed the body. Once we 515 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: got outside. The corps passed away at least two pounds. 516 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 1: Just get it in the hole. Okay, there's a screening 517 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,000 Speaker 1: of Acanto at eight thirty, and I'll lose my ship 518 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 1: if you missed the trailers. All right, hold on, they 519 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: take the next fifteen minutes, dragging Jamie's bronzed corps towards 520 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: the shallow grave. She was so young. Cran Zamboni leans 521 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 1: into it, big bronze head, Jamie. I am very sorry 522 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: that I threw an air fire your head so that 523 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: you could never finish the screenplay, Santa University. It's just that, man, 524 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 1: I really want to see Incarto and when jingle Saw wait, 525 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: Jingle saw a new Cransamp bony all along. It's a 526 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: twist that will not be explored further. I just called 527 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: Neuber hurry up. Interior Santa University. Dan Santa, Goss Santa, 528 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 1: Cassandra Santanta, Carlos Santanda, and Sully all burst into the 529 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: lair as Gallant Intellect Santa are at each other's throats 530 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: with the jingle whips. Why because I have two minutes 531 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:42,479 Speaker 1: to finish the script. That's why, stop, Gallant Intellect Santa stop. 532 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,760 Speaker 1: I hate that I'm conditioned to listen to male Santa's 533 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: like that, Dan Santa, you look like ship today, but 534 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: at least they're not dead. Jingle Saw appears on the 535 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 1: little screen again. Well well, well if it is you, 536 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: motherfuck uh whoa Sully grabs Gals jingle whipons shatters the screen, 537 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: crumbling the wall and revealing Jingle saws Layer. Note Jingle 538 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,960 Speaker 1: saws Layer should have been behind a thin layer of 539 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 1: paper beside the dungeon the whole time. Jingle Saw is shocked. 540 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: Oh shit, Oh, Dad's data pulls the mask from Jingle 541 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:29,720 Speaker 1: saws big old scary dollhead. Oh my god, it's wow. 542 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 1: I really love it when he does that. It's spit 543 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:41,360 Speaker 1: it out. We know who it is. It's Cook, Cook Cook. 544 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 1: It's Cool Santa, the Coolest Santa, and also my boyfriend 545 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 1: at Santa University. Twist, She's not wrong. It is, in 546 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,800 Speaker 1: fact Cool Santa. Even when he's getting caught as a 547 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: Saw parody character, he is still very cool. Yeah, yeah, 548 00:34:56,120 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 1: it's true. It's me. It's Cool Santa, Coolest Santa, Santa University, 549 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 1: and also Gals Santa's boyfriend not Tom Mount and uh, 550 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,200 Speaker 1: I'm also jingle saw it and I want to kill 551 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 1: Dance Santa. Cool Santa snatches the jingle from Intellect Santa's 552 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,760 Speaker 1: hand and lunges at the defenseless Dan Santa, who Santa 553 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 1: uniform is covered in a thin layer of sweat over 554 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:28,480 Speaker 1: is already pisting clothes. He howls, but Cassandra and Carlos 555 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,280 Speaker 1: Santanta intervene. Cassandra catches Cool Santa and the jingle cuffs 556 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,720 Speaker 1: of justice something I just made up, right, they're Cool Santa. 557 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,240 Speaker 1: We've still got three hundred pages and sixteen more years 558 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:46,319 Speaker 1: of Santa Universeit need to go that many. Oh my god, 559 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 1: that's so much. Let's just let him kill dance Santa. 560 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 1: You're off to detention, Cool Santa. Wait where just just 561 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 1: detention for murder? Yeah? It takes him away, and Cassandra 562 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 1: grabs her husband twins asked as they do, it's in 563 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,920 Speaker 1: these moments of Catharsis that she remembers why she married 564 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: her twins. They're going to be just fine. I want 565 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: to cut him one last time. With some thoughts from 566 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 1: Miles Gray, who's played Dan Santa for years. Miles, what's 567 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 1: your take on the will they won't they love story 568 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: between Dan and Gal Santa? Is it forced? Is it real? 569 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,840 Speaker 1: The fact that we have stretched the tension for this long. 570 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: I think it's a testament to obviously, Jamie, you your 571 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 1: ability as a writer and tour um, because this is 572 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: no small task. And I always find myself every script 573 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,560 Speaker 1: opening it up and going Okay, we are they are 574 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,000 Speaker 1: they not this time? And it's something that I I 575 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 1: look forward to, I think as much as the audience 576 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,880 Speaker 1: does to see or hear the show. And when it 577 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 1: comes to being nearly murdered by Cool Santa masquerading as 578 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,520 Speaker 1: the villain Jingle Saw, unpack that masculine rage. For me, 579 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,439 Speaker 1: it truly evoked I think something that I I feel 580 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,320 Speaker 1: like I talk about in a lot of my work 581 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 1: UM about sort of the masculine urge to create or 582 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,759 Speaker 1: destroy uh, And this is something we see a lot 583 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 1: in our politics and our culture. The idea with Jingle 584 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,799 Speaker 1: Saw here, it was very clear the second that the 585 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,759 Speaker 1: power had sort of left Cool Santa's grasp, it was 586 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,960 Speaker 1: no longer about creating um, because that is what a 587 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,240 Speaker 1: truly potent being would feel, is the ability to create. 588 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,760 Speaker 1: And those without the power, the truly impotent, choose to destroy, 589 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: choose a violence, choose chaos, because if they can't make 590 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: things happen, then the next best thing is to watch 591 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,960 Speaker 1: them all come apart. This was just sort of laid 592 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 1: bare in this scene I think for many people to 593 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: see the despair that I think most Western men are 594 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 1: feeling at the moment. Uh. And you know, whether or 595 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,160 Speaker 1: not that's a tragedy I think is up to the performer, 596 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,680 Speaker 1: the listener, on the director. But in this instance, I 597 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,399 Speaker 1: think there was just something really really powerful about UM 598 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,439 Speaker 1: watching this play out through the rage within jingle song 599 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,360 Speaker 1: and what do you see happening to dance Antam moving 600 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:17,279 Speaker 1: forward in this very successful franchise, UM, It's clear that 601 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:23,360 Speaker 1: Dan's illiteracy and lack of you know, traditional good looks 602 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,800 Speaker 1: is only going to lead to you know, and I 603 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: don't want to be flippant, but it's going to lead 604 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,839 Speaker 1: to a very very dark place. I see him being 605 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 1: unable to maintain his personal relationships, going into um, just 606 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: a just a deep, deep state of isolation, and then 607 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:49,520 Speaker 1: from there developing quite a bizarre um addiction to h 608 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 1: to microwave popcorn and truly going deeper into a world 609 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 1: of not being able to read, of looking like ship 610 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,720 Speaker 1: more and more and more. That to be honest, I'm hoping, 611 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,279 Speaker 1: and I and I'm not trying to put any kind 612 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 1: of pressure on Jamie that I think he would eventually 613 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 1: just turn into a sentient pile of ship. Excellent. Let's 614 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 1: see how this ends. I wrote it six hours ago, 615 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 1: and I already forget Dan, Goth, Gal Intellect and Sually. 616 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 1: I'll look at each other. Uh hi, be Sully. I'm 617 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,439 Speaker 1: not a main part of the cast, so I'm gonna 618 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 1: go the other's muttering agreement. That makes sense. They wait 619 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,919 Speaker 1: for Sully to leave, but he really takes his time 620 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,320 Speaker 1: for some reason. Once he's gone, Gal Santa looks to 621 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:54,200 Speaker 1: her friends, it's that time. It's just another year. Yeah, 622 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:59,480 Speaker 1: like that, you guys actually really did it. That was 623 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 1: as no notes, that was perfect, okay. And then I 624 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 1: also wrote a mid credit scene that happens at AMC 625 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,160 Speaker 1: Theaters that closes it out. So this happens the credits 626 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: start for this section of Santa University, and then miss 627 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: pops in interior AMC Theaters. The next night, Dan and 628 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: Crans Zamboni entered the AMC Theater as a screening of 629 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: Spider Man. No Way Home gets out. No one will 630 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 1: shut the funk up about it enough, I'm sure it's fine. 631 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 1: They approached the counter, where a movie ticket person looks 632 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 1: at them with sadness in their eyes. Their dog just 633 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,040 Speaker 1: got eaten by a pack of coyotes. The previous week, 634 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:34,160 Speaker 1: not that anyone asked two for unto movie ticket person 635 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,640 Speaker 1: checks the system. It was her fault. She took her 636 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,799 Speaker 1: eyes off of her dog for just one second. How 637 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: are there that many coyotes in a residential area That 638 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 1: will be fifteen dollars each, but we we only have 639 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:51,320 Speaker 1: fourteen dollars each. Thinking of the coyotes, it costs fifteen 640 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: gran Zamboni looks a camera. Help. I guess it was 641 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,320 Speaker 1: all for nothing. Oh my odd, I forgot to include 642 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,320 Speaker 1: songs in this year's script. The script ends here, someone 643 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 1: through an air fryer at my head and I died 644 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:16,359 Speaker 1: the and wow, yeah, well I think we can all 645 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 1: agree that made a lot of sense, and I would 646 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,120 Speaker 1: listen to it again. Thank you for five wonderful years 647 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 1: of Santa University. I can't say it enough. I don't 648 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,319 Speaker 1: remember anything that happens in this from year to year, 649 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,759 Speaker 1: and I promise I will always make myself very, very 650 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,920 Speaker 1: sick when asked to do it. There's never enough time. 651 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: I always feel like people are mad at me for 652 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,920 Speaker 1: some reason that they're volunteering to do this. But if 653 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: spending time with your treasured loved ones during something labor 654 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,880 Speaker 1: intensive under duress doesn't capture the spirit of the holidays. 655 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what does. So from my underfunded forty 656 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 1: pounds Santa University script to yours, Happy holidays, and next 657 00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,760 Speaker 1: year will make even more sense. Good Bye.