WEBVTT - "MY PARENTS ARE POLYGAMOUS" 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:04.920 Hello, Hello, Hi. 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:08.119 How's it going. 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:14.120 It's going good, It's fine. Uh morning, I forget what 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:15.720 day is today? Do you know what day to day is? 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:18.360 Unfortunately? 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:18.720 I do? 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:20.000 It's Friday. 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:24.119 Why do you say unfortunately you know the day? Do 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:25.320 you wish to not know the day? 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.480 Nice? It would be nice not to know kind of 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.760 what calendar day we're on and just kind of being like, 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:37.839 oh man, today felt like a Friday, but today I 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:39.479 was in such a great mood. You know. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.200 Yeah, it's no. It's so interesting you say that, because 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:48.280 I feel like, at our best we are forgetting what 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.840 time it is. You know, in a sense, we're we're 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:57.360 almost like, uh, servants of the calendar of the time. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.880 You know. What we do is is like we have 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:05.120 to ask permission from the calendar to be able to 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.720 do stuff like, oh, you can't go out it's a 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:13.640 Tuesday night, or you can't eat breakfast it's eleven pm? 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:19.600 Like why are our actions so heavily dictated by the 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.639 calendar and by the time. Wouldn't we be more free 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:25.520 if we just walked around and did things with no 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:27.680 concern over the position of the sun. 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:34.720 Exactly. That's well put. I think our lives would be 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:37.280 a whole lot better, and I think we'd be a 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:40.119 lot more comfortable with our actions that we take. 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:48.040 Okay, so Matt, Matt, that's your name, that is money, Matt. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:53.280 If you didn't know what time it was, do you 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:55.280 know what time? You know what day it is, but 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:56.680 do you know what time it is? Don't look if 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:57.080 you don't know. 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:00.920 I don't don't know what time it is. 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.760 I don't know what time it is. So if you 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:09.720 had the ability to never know what time it was 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.079 or what day it was, what would you do with that? 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:14.880 With that ignorance? 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:23.799 Hmm, that's a good question. I'd probably I would say 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:26.640 I'd be asleep, but that'd probably be a lie because 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:32.200 I think my circadium rhythm is already like set, so 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:37.720 my body just naturally wakes up early. And I could be, 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:41.400 you know, pretty drunk or as tired and out, just 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:45.240 up for no reason and crash out at maybe like 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:50.200 three am, and my body will just naturally be up 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.560 by seven. Seven thirty is the latest. It doesn't matter 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.079 what the circumstances is. I can just be totally tired, 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.079 but it's there and then I'm up. So I would 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:05.640 say in bed, but more than likely. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:12.160 Not working, not working? What do you do for work currently? 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:16.600 I work for a bank. 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.120 You work for a bank. What do you do for 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:20.639 this bank? 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:24.960 I deal with loans. 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:29.919 You work for a bank, and you deal with loans. 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:34.120 I'm not trying to give out too much information just 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.680 because I may or may not be on the clock, 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:44.600 But I work for a bank with loans. 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:51.520 Okay, all right, So you work for a bank and 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:55.160 you deal with loans, and you're not on the clock 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.160 right now. But let's say you were on the clock 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:01.600 right now and you were taking a phone call, perhaps 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:07.920 with a gecko. What uh what like room in the 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:12.000 bank would you be in where you can take a 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:15.520 phone call such as such as this were you to 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:16.159 take one. 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:23.440 Probably the utility closet. 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.480 Okay, So were you on a phone call with a 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.560 gecko right now, you would be currently at this moment 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.880 in the utility closet. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:37.839 That is correct. 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:43.640 Okay. How big is this utility closet? 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.040 H not very big. I want to say maybe three 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:50.599 by four at most. 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.880 And are you or were you on a phone call 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:55.640 with a gecko? Would you be sitting in a chair 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:59.159 or lying on the floor. 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:06.080 If I were, I would hopefully be sitting on something 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:08.440 I couldn't guarantee the chair. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:16.080 Matt, Yes, what are you sitting on right now? 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:22.200 It is a box, a box of cleaner, A. 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.200 Box of cleaners. And what are you looking at right now? 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:26.400 Like what's in front of your face? 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:35.880 There is some loose vapor in boxes and it's pretty 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:41.720 much just like coffee paper. Mm hmm, there's now disinfecting 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:43.839 mm hmm mm hmm. 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:45.600 Okay, so it's a it's a it's a closet has 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.960 utilities that is cleaning supplies, that has all the things 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:49.839 that you would you would need in a utility closet. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:53.719 That is correct. 0:05:54.760 --> 0:06:01.320 Now, how often do you use this space as a 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.359 escape from your job? 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:12.840 Oh? I want to say pretty often. There's some micro 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:16.560 transactions that take place. If I have an important call 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:22.840 such as this, m you get a way to take it. 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:27.000 So, if you have a business related call, will you 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:29.360 take it in the utility closet or will you just 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.240 take it in the office. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.080 I wish I could, but no, it'd be more personal 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:37.160 or leisure. 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:45.320 Now have you ever been walked in on taking a 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.880 call in the utility closet? 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:49.840 I have? 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:52.599 And what was that experience? Like? 0:06:55.600 --> 0:07:01.279 Well, it's pretty awkward at first, but you know, once 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:04.440 people realize that I'm just trying to get like a 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:08.159 quiet room and I kind of just put my finger 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.800 up for a second, they realize that I can mute it, 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:16.000 and then I just explained the situation. Hey, I'm on 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:22.280 a call obviously personal. When you were. 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.520 Walked in on in the utility closet taking a call, 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:27.360 were you walked in on by a boss or by 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:33.080 one of your coworkers a co worker. See, here's what 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:37.720 I think is the dangers of getting walked in on. 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:39.520 Here's what I think is the worst part about getting 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:41.320 walked in on and taking the call in the utility 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:43.680 closet is that obviously, you know, if it's your boss, 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.520 they're going to be upset with you. But if it's 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:49.239 your coworker, your coworker is going to see you taking 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:52.760 a personal call in the utility closet, and then they 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:56.360 are going to get the idea like, oh shit, I 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:59.080 should start taking my personal calls in the utility closet. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.160 And then next thing you know, a call is coming 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.680 in from you know, your wife or whatever it is, 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:05.840 and you're like, all right, time to go to the 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.840 utility closet and you open it and there's a coworker 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:15.160 taking a nap, and now all of a sudden, utility 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:18.120 closet time becomes a scarce resource. This is a well 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.120 kept this is a this is this needs to be 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.520 a well kept secret of yours, or else there's gonna 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.080 be long wait times to get into that utility closet. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:34.800 Exactly. And I really hope that nobody kind of has 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:38.720 a goal to take my utility closet because that would 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.080 be pretty disappointing. 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:43.920 But even. 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.800 So, when I leave, I'll kind of put everything back 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:51.160 in place to where it's not I don't want to 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:55.400 say roomy, but as comfortable as it can be. So 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:56.640 you want to kind of. 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.920 Are you cut now a little bit great place? There's 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:07.439 not very good reception in the utility class. But Matt, 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:08.160 are still there. 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:10.720 I'm here hearing. 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:13.480 Yeah, I could hear you. Matt, listen before we go. 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:18.640 You know, is there anything that you would want to 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:23.600 do besides be at the bank working with loans. I'm 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:27.680 curious kind of what your your dream is, what you 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.600 desire in life outside of the bank. 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:37.480 That's a great question. And there's two things that I 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:41.880 would do, and maybe they could be interchangeable. But I've 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:47.000 always wanted to be a writer and always wanted to 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:50.600 be a therapist. So who was. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:58.840 Well, I feel like, should you want to start producing 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:03.720 more written work, you have a nice place to do so, 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:06.240 right there in that utility closet. 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:11.600 Agreed, agreed, lots of paper handy as well. 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:14.280 Anything you want to say to the people of the 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:15.199 computer before we go. 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:22.760 Matt, Uh, yeah, you guys rock. Just be nice, guys, 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:24.520 stop being idiots. 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:26.480 Thank you for calling Matt. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:28.800 Yeah, take care. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:37.720 I like that guy. He had a cool, calm demeanor 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:42.240 to him, and he said he wanted to be a writer, 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:48.000 and I meant what I said to him that he 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.480 has a nice place to pursue that career in that 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:58.360 utility closet. Because there's something about a very claustrophobic environment 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:07.080 that sparks emotions that Matt can use to transmute into 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.400 I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet, so I can't. 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:13.040 I have no real examples of this, but I do 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.960 feel like if Matt were looking for a place to 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:20.680 sort of be his muse, the utility closet is not 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:23.640 a bad idea because it's a little bit depressing sitting 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:29.320 in there and from that depression there are beautiful sonnets 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:35.400 to be mined. But I like Matt, and I hope 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:39.959 his utility closet stays safe from his coworkers. I hope 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:44.160 his coworkers find their own space, maybe a bathroom stall 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:49.760 that speaks to them, maybe the vault. That's where I 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.280 would go to take personal calls if I worked at 0:11:52.280 --> 0:12:04.280 a bank. Hey, cadenh Yeah, what's up dog? 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:16.040 Nothing much, just hanging out and enjoying the stream. 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:21.400 Caden? Uh, what is going on with you? What would 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:22.520 you like to talk about today? 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.000 Uh? 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:34.880 Hm, Well, I told this call screener I kind of 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:38.120 wanted to tell you about my life. I think it's 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:39.160 a little bit unique. 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:40.920 I guess please. 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:49.559 Where to start? 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:50.319 Uh? 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:55.440 It's kind of always weird to just tell someone this, 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.160 but yeah, so I guess I'll just cut straight to it. 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:00.200 Uh. 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:07.040 So, I am twenty five years old. At eighteen, I 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.480 got kicked out of my parents' house because I didn't 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:15.360 want to, you know, believe that their beliefs. 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.040 I guess, well, it says you, can I say, can 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:19.920 I tell? Can I say? What the Can I say? 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:23.760 What the you? You told the call screener. 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.720 Yeah, please says that you grew. 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:35.360 Up in a polygamist household. Yeah, so does that mean 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:42.320 that you had many different people who who you referred 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.800 to as mom or dad? 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:51.120 Now it's still just the you know, one dad, the 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:52.560 one mom. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:53.400 It's and I. 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:57.360 Probably should have used a different word other than household. 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:58.160 It's. 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:04.600 It was an entire uh you know, religion community. And 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:10.000 my dad still to this day has three wives and 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:11.160 almost out a fourth. 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:14.720 And when when you were growing up, how many wives 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:15.160 did he have? 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:18.880 Uh? 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:23.920 Well, my mom was the first wife, which is kind 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:29.280 of its own like, you know, what's the word. I'm 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:32.760 looking for the privilege status? 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:37.520 You know, it's it's it's you get extra privileges being 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:38.000 the first. 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.760 Yeah, but it's like one of those unspoken rules, you know. 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.160 But yeah, so sorry to answer your question. Uh mhm, 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.120 my mom was the first, and I'm the oldest, and 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.240 so growing up I watched him, you know, marry the 0:14:56.280 --> 0:15:00.840 other two and the second wive if he married, when 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:06.280 I was probably uh six or seven something like that, 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:10.960 maybe younger, and then the third wife when I was. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:14.120 Twelve, I believe. 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:19.840 Hmmm, So okay, so the first one when you were 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:20.720 how oled again. 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.760 Uh, five or six five. 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.360 Or six, Okay, uh, and so he just kind of 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:31.520 kept adding a new wife every few years. 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.000 Yeah, I mean the fourth one failed. 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:42.360 But yeah, so tell me what was your like relationship 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:50.080 like with these new wives, because you know, like my 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:55.040 parents got divorced and my dad remarried and that was 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.400 like my stepmom, and I kind of like, you know, 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:03.040 that's a that's a a an established sort of family dynamic. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.920 You know, you have your mom and then the step 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.640 mom is kind of a different relationship. But but this 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.200 is different. This is not like a step mom. This 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.360 is like a I don't even know what you would 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.280 refer to your relationship with this person as. 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:22.520 Yeah, it's I'm glad you brought that up. 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:22.960 It's a. 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:29.360 It was definitely really weird at first. I remember pretty 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.560 distinctly when I was like, you know, when he started 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:36.080 dating his second wife or courting as they call it, 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:42.760 and you know, she he started to go out with her, 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:46.240 and it was really confusing to see my mom really 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:51.880 sad and upset about it. And then like all of 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.680 a sudden, you know, he there was like this sort 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:59.800 of I guess you could call it an integration period 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:04.159 into our existing family. You know, she started to come 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.280 around for like dinners and you know, the Sunday brunch 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:12.360 and whatnot, and then you know, calling in at random 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.040 just to like talk to us and stuff. She is 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.960 very nice, and I should say that I do have 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:22.480 a good relationship and you know, understanding with all of 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:28.399 them now. But yeah, pretty pretty weird at first. And 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:35.320 then after he married the second I was definitely you know, 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.040 I didn't have words for it at the time, but 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.199 as from what I've realized now is I was just 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.439 really confused as to why my dad was marrying another 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:50.200 another woman and was going to have you know, kids 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:53.879 with them that I would technically be my brothers, and 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.600 that just you know, growing up and kind of just 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.879 seeing the world around me, it just it didn't really 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.800 line up, and so I was just maybe naturally acting 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:05.399 out against that. 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:10.360 Hmm. You said that your you would kind of see 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:14.879 your mom be upset when your dad started dating his 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:22.560 second wife. So your mom was she like because I guess, 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:27.919 I guess when I'm imagining this like polygamist community, I 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:33.520 am imagining that your mom and dad kind of go 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:39.760 into it both knowing what they're getting into, and that 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:42.600 your mom, I guess I would imagine that your mom 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:45.439 would like embrace it if it's like part of a 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.040 religion that she's like on board with, but it sounds 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:50.240 like that is not the case. 0:18:53.760 --> 0:19:00.399 Yeah, agreed, agreed, And it's that's kind of a phase 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:05.200 that I went through as well, or thought process when 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:09.800 I a little bit after he married his third wife, 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:16.880 which that one my mom took the hardest, And that's 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.240 that's another thing I could dive into. But to answer 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:31.000 your question, it was, sorry, I'm trying to put put 0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:33.960 together the words. I don't talk about this too much 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:39.399 to people, but yeah, I definitely had that sort of 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:43.399 thought process where it's like, well, you chose this, you know, 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:50.119 like you like, why are you? It was almost like 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:56.000 I'm kind of sick of seeing all this, you know, 0:19:56.119 --> 0:20:00.480 sad and hurt, and it kind of inadvertently being taken 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.359 taken out on us as on her kids. 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:07.640 Yeah, yeah, her own you know, Yeah, I can understand 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:10.080 that feeling. Did you feel like she was taking it 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:11.639 out on you guys? 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.880 I'm in ways. I mean, she definitely tried her hardest, 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:20.080 but you know, me being an adult now and looking 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:23.040 back on it, like I definitely have a lot more 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:26.159 empathy towards her for it, you know, because she was 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:28.439 born into it, grew up and raised and you know, 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:31.600 taught then this this is what God wanted from her 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:32.119 and whatnot? 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:36.479 So right, So it's it's less of like a right 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:38.359 because I guess at first glance, you know, you could 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:40.320 be like, well, you know, I don't know why you're 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:43.000 so upset about your husband marrying other people you chose 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.280 to do this, But you know, at a at a 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.239 closer look, you're like, well, shit, she was kind of 0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:53.159 indoctrinated into this whole thing. Sounds like against you know, 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:56.680 her her will or or or against really knowing any better, 0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:59.399 being taught any better as a as a kid. And I, 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:03.679 you know, I that definitely adds a much greater, you know, 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:09.840 level of empathy to the situation. Why did her Why 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:13.800 did the third wife in particular get to her more 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:15.320 than the second. 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:23.840 One at that point? I believe she was in her 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:32.120 thirties and this third wife had just turned nineteen when 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:38.000 they got married, if I'm not mistaken, mm hmm. And 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:42.760 it's as best as we can all tell, it's and 0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:47.360 when I say we, it's my direct siblings is that 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:50.800 it was simply that kind of like, you know, she's 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:56.600 a lot younger and probably considered prettier and that kind 0:21:56.680 --> 0:22:01.879 of you know, probably and in any normal relationship where 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:07.520 you know, an older man maybe goes and cheats on 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:10.200 his wife with a much younger, prettier woman. 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.880 Right, right scenario, a lot of you know, comparing herself 0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:16.560 to the new wife. 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:19.920 Yeah, mhmm. 0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:22.720 Are you an only child? 0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:29.600 Far from it. I am the oldest of nine, including me. 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:32.560 The oldest of nine. Now when you say nine, is 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:39.680 that nine with uh with your mother or nine total 0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:41.320 with all the wives? 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:44.040 Uh? 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:47.800 Nine total with my mother. Uh, with all of the 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:52.439 wives and my half siblings. But I still like to 0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:55.040 consider them my full siblings in a weird way. I 0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:59.520 don't know, I grew up. I grew up weird, but uh, uh. 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:05.840 One twenty with a one total with all of them, 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:10.480 and you consider them all to be you know, you don't, 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.840 You don't make any sort of distinction. You you consider 0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:13.440 all of them your. 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:14.560 Brother Yeah, they're my family. 0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:19.000 M hmm. Yeah. Wow. 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:21.760 As I've grown over the years, I've just kind of 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:25.560 adopted or come to terms with where I've came from 0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:30.040 and how kind of like what they're going through and 0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:32.840 that you know, they didn't choose it either, and they're 0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.400 going through a lot of the same stuff and maybe 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:40.640 their own stuff. That's a lot harder. So if it's 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:44.919 something that you know, they were brought in by the 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:48.040 same guy and beliefs, so as I was, so, I 0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:51.199 guess that makes this family so m hm. 0:23:51.800 --> 0:23:55.800 And do all of the do do all of them 0:23:55.880 --> 0:23:58.919 or most of them or but you know, have the 0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:03.679 same view of everything that you do, or are some 0:24:03.760 --> 0:24:05.879 of them also kind of drinking the kool aid and 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:08.359 staying in the UH In. 0:24:08.280 --> 0:24:15.000 The cults, A lot of the younger ones are definitely 0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:20.919 drinking the kool aid my myself, and I guess mainly 0:24:20.960 --> 0:24:27.840 the older ones are drifting away from it. Currently, there's 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:32.840 only three of us, three including myself that have. 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:35.399 UH left. 0:24:35.480 --> 0:24:36.719 I guess m hm. 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:47.040 And you said you left when you were eighteen. Yeah, well, actually, 0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:49.200 let's say you got kicked out when you're eighteen. 0:24:51.359 --> 0:24:56.040 Yeah, it was it was actually something that I saw coming. 0:24:56.680 --> 0:25:01.040 He was my dad was like warning me and way, 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:04.320 but then you know, I think it was the day 0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:08.240 after my birthday that we went out into the the 0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:12.200 garden and he brought me alone, which was a little 0:25:12.240 --> 0:25:14.200 bit different. Usually he would take all the kids out, 0:25:16.640 --> 0:25:20.359 but anyways, it took me out alone and basically without 0:25:20.400 --> 0:25:22.520 even looking at me, and just while he's working, just saying, 0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:26.520 if you're not gonna, you know, if you're not going 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:29.320 to stay here, go to church and at least try 0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:33.159 and share the same beliefs as I do, and the 0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:35.560 ones I try and teach to my kids. And I 0:25:35.560 --> 0:25:36.320 don't want you here. 0:25:37.240 --> 0:25:37.640 And so. 0:25:40.040 --> 0:25:42.359 I had a month and then I found a place 0:25:42.359 --> 0:25:43.120 and got out. 0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:49.280 And this was seven years ago. 0:25:48.720 --> 0:25:54.560 Yeah, or a little I'm my birthday's actually coming up. 0:25:55.920 --> 0:25:59.840 This Sunday, So not happy birthday, man, probably closer to 0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:05.359 closer to eight. Wow. Okay, so all right, so you 0:26:05.400 --> 0:26:10.520 have about twenty one brothers and sisters total. Alright, So 0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:17.040 now I'm kind of curious about jumping ahead to contemporary 0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:20.720 times about what your relationship is like with all these 0:26:20.760 --> 0:26:25.560 people that were in your life growing up. Let's start 0:26:25.560 --> 0:26:30.720 with your dad. What was your relationship like with him? Now? 0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:37.919 It's a lot better than it used to be. He 0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:41.480 and I growing up butted heads quite a bit. 0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:46.520 And. 0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:52.560 You know me, he almost took the stance of like 0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:54.640 he didn't kick me out, and I think he kind 0:26:54.640 --> 0:26:58.200 of still believes that to this day that he was 0:26:58.440 --> 0:27:02.320 just in his own way giving me like a stern warning, 0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:07.520 But that comes off maybe a little bit different to 0:27:07.600 --> 0:27:15.600