Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi.
Speaker 2: How's it going.
Speaker 1: It's going good, It's fine. Uh morning, I forget what
Speaker 1: day is today? Do you know what day to day is?
Speaker 2: Unfortunately?
Speaker 3: I do?
Speaker 2: It's Friday.
Speaker 1: Why do you say unfortunately you know the day? Do
Speaker 1: you wish to not know the day?
Speaker 2: Nice? It would be nice not to know kind of
Speaker 2: what calendar day we're on and just kind of being like,
Speaker 2: oh man, today felt like a Friday, but today I
Speaker 2: was in such a great mood. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's no. It's so interesting you say that, because
Speaker 1: I feel like, at our best we are forgetting what
Speaker 1: time it is. You know, in a sense, we're we're
Speaker 1: almost like, uh, servants of the calendar of the time.
Speaker 1: You know. What we do is is like we have
Speaker 1: to ask permission from the calendar to be able to
Speaker 1: do stuff like, oh, you can't go out it's a
Speaker 1: Tuesday night, or you can't eat breakfast it's eleven pm?
Speaker 1: Like why are our actions so heavily dictated by the
Speaker 1: calendar and by the time. Wouldn't we be more free
Speaker 1: if we just walked around and did things with no
Speaker 1: concern over the position of the sun.
Speaker 2: Exactly. That's well put. I think our lives would be
Speaker 2: a whole lot better, and I think we'd be a
Speaker 2: lot more comfortable with our actions that we take.
Speaker 1: Okay, so Matt, Matt, that's your name, that is money, Matt.
Speaker 1: If you didn't know what time it was, do you
Speaker 1: know what time? You know what day it is, but
Speaker 1: do you know what time it is? Don't look if
Speaker 1: you don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't don't know what time it is.
Speaker 1: I don't know what time it is. So if you
Speaker 1: had the ability to never know what time it was
Speaker 1: or what day it was, what would you do with that?
Speaker 1: With that ignorance?
Speaker 2: Hmm, that's a good question. I'd probably I would say
Speaker 2: I'd be asleep, but that'd probably be a lie because
Speaker 2: I think my circadium rhythm is already like set, so
Speaker 2: my body just naturally wakes up early. And I could be,
Speaker 2: you know, pretty drunk or as tired and out, just
Speaker 2: up for no reason and crash out at maybe like
Speaker 2: three am, and my body will just naturally be up
Speaker 2: by seven. Seven thirty is the latest. It doesn't matter
Speaker 2: what the circumstances is. I can just be totally tired,
Speaker 2: but it's there and then I'm up. So I would
Speaker 2: say in bed, but more than likely.
Speaker 1: Not working, not working? What do you do for work currently?
Speaker 2: I work for a bank.
Speaker 1: You work for a bank. What do you do for
Speaker 1: this bank?
Speaker 2: I deal with loans.
Speaker 1: You work for a bank, and you deal with loans.
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to give out too much information just
Speaker 2: because I may or may not be on the clock,
Speaker 2: But I work for a bank with loans.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So you work for a bank and
Speaker 1: you deal with loans, and you're not on the clock
Speaker 1: right now. But let's say you were on the clock
Speaker 1: right now and you were taking a phone call, perhaps
Speaker 1: with a gecko. What uh what like room in the
Speaker 1: bank would you be in where you can take a
Speaker 1: phone call such as such as this were you to
Speaker 1: take one.
Speaker 2: Probably the utility closet.
Speaker 1: Okay, So were you on a phone call with a
Speaker 1: gecko right now, you would be currently at this moment
Speaker 1: in the utility closet.
Speaker 2: That is correct.
Speaker 1: Okay. How big is this utility closet?
Speaker 2: H not very big. I want to say maybe three
Speaker 2: by four at most.
Speaker 1: And are you or were you on a phone call
Speaker 1: with a gecko? Would you be sitting in a chair
Speaker 1: or lying on the floor.
Speaker 2: If I were, I would hopefully be sitting on something
Speaker 2: I couldn't guarantee the chair.
Speaker 1: Matt, Yes, what are you sitting on right now?
Speaker 2: It is a box, a box of cleaner, A.
Speaker 1: Box of cleaners. And what are you looking at right now?
Speaker 1: Like what's in front of your face?
Speaker 2: There is some loose vapor in boxes and it's pretty
Speaker 2: much just like coffee paper. Mm hmm, there's now disinfecting
Speaker 2: mm hmm mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a it's a it's a closet has
Speaker 1: utilities that is cleaning supplies, that has all the things
Speaker 1: that you would you would need in a utility closet.
Speaker 2: That is correct.
Speaker 1: Now, how often do you use this space as a
Speaker 1: escape from your job?
Speaker 2: Oh? I want to say pretty often. There's some micro
Speaker 2: transactions that take place. If I have an important call
Speaker 2: such as this, m you get a way to take it.
Speaker 1: So, if you have a business related call, will you
Speaker 1: take it in the utility closet or will you just
Speaker 1: take it in the office.
Speaker 2: I wish I could, but no, it'd be more personal
Speaker 2: or leisure.
Speaker 1: Now have you ever been walked in on taking a
Speaker 1: call in the utility closet?
Speaker 2: I have?
Speaker 1: And what was that experience? Like?
Speaker 2: Well, it's pretty awkward at first, but you know, once
Speaker 2: people realize that I'm just trying to get like a
Speaker 2: quiet room and I kind of just put my finger
Speaker 2: up for a second, they realize that I can mute it,
Speaker 2: and then I just explained the situation. Hey, I'm on
Speaker 2: a call obviously personal. When you were.
Speaker 1: Walked in on in the utility closet taking a call,
Speaker 1: were you walked in on by a boss or by
Speaker 1: one of your coworkers a co worker. See, here's what
Speaker 1: I think is the dangers of getting walked in on.
Speaker 1: Here's what I think is the worst part about getting
Speaker 1: walked in on and taking the call in the utility
Speaker 1: closet is that obviously, you know, if it's your boss,
Speaker 1: they're going to be upset with you. But if it's
Speaker 1: your coworker, your coworker is going to see you taking
Speaker 1: a personal call in the utility closet, and then they
Speaker 1: are going to get the idea like, oh shit, I
Speaker 1: should start taking my personal calls in the utility closet.
Speaker 1: And then next thing you know, a call is coming
Speaker 1: in from you know, your wife or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and you're like, all right, time to go to the
Speaker 1: utility closet and you open it and there's a coworker
Speaker 1: taking a nap, and now all of a sudden, utility
Speaker 1: closet time becomes a scarce resource. This is a well
Speaker 1: kept this is a this is this needs to be
Speaker 1: a well kept secret of yours, or else there's gonna
Speaker 1: be long wait times to get into that utility closet.
Speaker 2: Exactly. And I really hope that nobody kind of has
Speaker 2: a goal to take my utility closet because that would
Speaker 2: be pretty disappointing.
Speaker 4: But even.
Speaker 2: So, when I leave, I'll kind of put everything back
Speaker 2: in place to where it's not I don't want to
Speaker 2: say roomy, but as comfortable as it can be. So
Speaker 2: you want to kind of.
Speaker 1: Are you cut now a little bit great place? There's
Speaker 1: not very good reception in the utility class. But Matt,
Speaker 1: are still there.
Speaker 2: I'm here hearing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could hear you. Matt, listen before we go.
Speaker 1: You know, is there anything that you would want to
Speaker 1: do besides be at the bank working with loans. I'm
Speaker 1: curious kind of what your your dream is, what you
Speaker 1: desire in life outside of the bank.
Speaker 2: That's a great question. And there's two things that I
Speaker 2: would do, and maybe they could be interchangeable. But I've
Speaker 2: always wanted to be a writer and always wanted to
Speaker 2: be a therapist. So who was.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like, should you want to start producing
Speaker 1: more written work, you have a nice place to do so,
Speaker 1: right there in that utility closet.
Speaker 2: Agreed, agreed, lots of paper handy as well.
Speaker 1: Anything you want to say to the people of the
Speaker 1: computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Matt, Uh, yeah, you guys rock. Just be nice, guys,
Speaker 2: stop being idiots.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Matt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, take care.
Speaker 1: I like that guy. He had a cool, calm demeanor
Speaker 1: to him, and he said he wanted to be a writer,
Speaker 1: and I meant what I said to him that he
Speaker 1: has a nice place to pursue that career in that
Speaker 1: utility closet. Because there's something about a very claustrophobic environment
Speaker 1: that sparks emotions that Matt can use to transmute into
Speaker 1: I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet, so I can't.
Speaker 1: I have no real examples of this, but I do
Speaker 1: feel like if Matt were looking for a place to
Speaker 1: sort of be his muse, the utility closet is not
Speaker 1: a bad idea because it's a little bit depressing sitting
Speaker 1: in there and from that depression there are beautiful sonnets
Speaker 1: to be mined. But I like Matt, and I hope
Speaker 1: his utility closet stays safe from his coworkers. I hope
Speaker 1: his coworkers find their own space, maybe a bathroom stall
Speaker 1: that speaks to them, maybe the vault. That's where I
Speaker 1: would go to take personal calls if I worked at
Speaker 1: a bank. Hey, cadenh Yeah, what's up dog?
Speaker 5: Nothing much, just hanging out and enjoying the stream.
Speaker 1: Caden? Uh, what is going on with you? What would
Speaker 1: you like to talk about today?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Hm, Well, I told this call screener I kind of
Speaker 5: wanted to tell you about my life. I think it's
Speaker 5: a little bit unique.
Speaker 2: I guess please.
Speaker 5: Where to start?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: It's kind of always weird to just tell someone this,
Speaker 5: but yeah, so I guess I'll just cut straight to it.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 5: So, I am twenty five years old. At eighteen, I
Speaker 5: got kicked out of my parents' house because I didn't
Speaker 5: want to, you know, believe that their beliefs.
Speaker 1: I guess, well, it says you, can I say, can
Speaker 1: I tell? Can I say? What the Can I say?
Speaker 1: What the you? You told the call screener.
Speaker 2: Yeah, please says that you grew.
Speaker 1: Up in a polygamist household. Yeah, so does that mean
Speaker 1: that you had many different people who who you referred
Speaker 1: to as mom or dad?
Speaker 5: Now it's still just the you know, one dad, the
Speaker 5: one mom.
Speaker 7: It's and I.
Speaker 5: Probably should have used a different word other than household.
Speaker 2: It's.
Speaker 5: It was an entire uh you know, religion community. And
Speaker 5: my dad still to this day has three wives and
Speaker 5: almost out a fourth.
Speaker 1: And when when you were growing up, how many wives
Speaker 1: did he have?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 5: Well, my mom was the first wife, which is kind
Speaker 5: of its own like, you know, what's the word. I'm
Speaker 5: looking for the privilege status?
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's you get extra privileges being
Speaker 1: the first.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's like one of those unspoken rules, you know.
Speaker 5: But yeah, so sorry to answer your question. Uh mhm,
Speaker 5: my mom was the first, and I'm the oldest, and
Speaker 5: so growing up I watched him, you know, marry the
Speaker 5: other two and the second wive if he married, when
Speaker 5: I was probably uh six or seven something like that,
Speaker 5: maybe younger, and then the third wife when I was.
Speaker 2: Twelve, I believe.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, So okay, so the first one when you were
Speaker 1: how oled again.
Speaker 5: Uh, five or six five.
Speaker 1: Or six, Okay, uh, and so he just kind of
Speaker 1: kept adding a new wife every few years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the fourth one failed.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so tell me what was your like relationship
Speaker 1: like with these new wives, because you know, like my
Speaker 1: parents got divorced and my dad remarried and that was
Speaker 1: like my stepmom, and I kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a a an established sort of family dynamic.
Speaker 1: You know, you have your mom and then the step
Speaker 1: mom is kind of a different relationship. But but this
Speaker 1: is different. This is not like a step mom. This
Speaker 1: is like a I don't even know what you would
Speaker 1: refer to your relationship with this person as.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's I'm glad you brought that up.
Speaker 7: It's a.
Speaker 5: It was definitely really weird at first. I remember pretty
Speaker 5: distinctly when I was like, you know, when he started
Speaker 5: dating his second wife or courting as they call it,
Speaker 5: and you know, she he started to go out with her,
Speaker 5: and it was really confusing to see my mom really
Speaker 5: sad and upset about it. And then like all of
Speaker 5: a sudden, you know, he there was like this sort
Speaker 5: of I guess you could call it an integration period
Speaker 5: into our existing family. You know, she started to come
Speaker 5: around for like dinners and you know, the Sunday brunch
Speaker 5: and whatnot, and then you know, calling in at random
Speaker 5: just to like talk to us and stuff. She is
Speaker 5: very nice, and I should say that I do have
Speaker 5: a good relationship and you know, understanding with all of
Speaker 5: them now. But yeah, pretty pretty weird at first. And
Speaker 5: then after he married the second I was definitely you know,
Speaker 5: I didn't have words for it at the time, but
Speaker 5: as from what I've realized now is I was just
Speaker 5: really confused as to why my dad was marrying another
Speaker 5: another woman and was going to have you know, kids
Speaker 5: with them that I would technically be my brothers, and
Speaker 5: that just you know, growing up and kind of just
Speaker 5: seeing the world around me, it just it didn't really
Speaker 5: line up, and so I was just maybe naturally acting
Speaker 5: out against that.
Speaker 1: Hmm. You said that your you would kind of see
Speaker 1: your mom be upset when your dad started dating his
Speaker 1: second wife. So your mom was she like because I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess when I'm imagining this like polygamist community, I
Speaker 1: am imagining that your mom and dad kind of go
Speaker 1: into it both knowing what they're getting into, and that
Speaker 1: your mom, I guess I would imagine that your mom
Speaker 1: would like embrace it if it's like part of a
Speaker 1: religion that she's like on board with, but it sounds
Speaker 1: like that is not the case.
Speaker 5: Yeah, agreed, agreed, And it's that's kind of a phase
Speaker 5: that I went through as well, or thought process when
Speaker 5: I a little bit after he married his third wife,
Speaker 5: which that one my mom took the hardest, And that's
Speaker 5: that's another thing I could dive into. But to answer
Speaker 5: your question, it was, sorry, I'm trying to put put
Speaker 5: together the words. I don't talk about this too much
Speaker 5: to people, but yeah, I definitely had that sort of
Speaker 5: thought process where it's like, well, you chose this, you know,
Speaker 5: like you like, why are you? It was almost like
Speaker 5: I'm kind of sick of seeing all this, you know,
Speaker 5: sad and hurt, and it kind of inadvertently being taken
Speaker 5: taken out on us as on her kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, her own you know, Yeah, I can understand
Speaker 1: that feeling. Did you feel like she was taking it
Speaker 1: out on you guys?
Speaker 5: I'm in ways. I mean, she definitely tried her hardest,
Speaker 5: but you know, me being an adult now and looking
Speaker 5: back on it, like I definitely have a lot more
Speaker 5: empathy towards her for it, you know, because she was
Speaker 5: born into it, grew up and raised and you know,
Speaker 5: taught then this this is what God wanted from her
Speaker 5: and whatnot?
Speaker 1: So right, So it's it's less of like a right
Speaker 1: because I guess at first glance, you know, you could
Speaker 1: be like, well, you know, I don't know why you're
Speaker 1: so upset about your husband marrying other people you chose
Speaker 1: to do this, But you know, at a at a
Speaker 1: closer look, you're like, well, shit, she was kind of
Speaker 1: indoctrinated into this whole thing. Sounds like against you know,
Speaker 1: her her will or or or against really knowing any better,
Speaker 1: being taught any better as a as a kid. And I,
Speaker 1: you know, I that definitely adds a much greater, you know,
Speaker 1: level of empathy to the situation. Why did her Why
Speaker 1: did the third wife in particular get to her more
Speaker 1: than the second.
Speaker 5: One at that point? I believe she was in her
Speaker 5: thirties and this third wife had just turned nineteen when
Speaker 5: they got married, if I'm not mistaken, mm hmm. And
Speaker 5: it's as best as we can all tell, it's and
Speaker 5: when I say we, it's my direct siblings is that
Speaker 5: it was simply that kind of like, you know, she's
Speaker 5: a lot younger and probably considered prettier and that kind
Speaker 5: of you know, probably and in any normal relationship where
Speaker 5: you know, an older man maybe goes and cheats on
Speaker 5: his wife with a much younger, prettier woman.
Speaker 1: Right, right scenario, a lot of you know, comparing herself
Speaker 1: to the new wife.
Speaker 5: Yeah, mhmm.
Speaker 1: Are you an only child?
Speaker 5: Far from it. I am the oldest of nine, including me.
Speaker 1: The oldest of nine. Now when you say nine, is
Speaker 1: that nine with uh with your mother or nine total
Speaker 1: with all the wives?
Speaker 8: Uh?
Speaker 5: Nine total with my mother. Uh, with all of the
Speaker 5: wives and my half siblings. But I still like to
Speaker 5: consider them my full siblings in a weird way. I
Speaker 5: don't know, I grew up. I grew up weird, but uh, uh.
Speaker 1: One twenty with a one total with all of them,
Speaker 1: and you consider them all to be you know, you don't,
Speaker 1: You don't make any sort of distinction. You you consider
Speaker 1: all of them your.
Speaker 5: Brother Yeah, they're my family.
Speaker 1: M hmm. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 5: As I've grown over the years, I've just kind of
Speaker 5: adopted or come to terms with where I've came from
Speaker 5: and how kind of like what they're going through and
Speaker 5: that you know, they didn't choose it either, and they're
Speaker 5: going through a lot of the same stuff and maybe
Speaker 5: their own stuff. That's a lot harder. So if it's
Speaker 5: something that you know, they were brought in by the
Speaker 5: same guy and beliefs, so as I was, so, I
Speaker 5: guess that makes this family so m hm.
Speaker 1: And do all of the do do all of them
Speaker 1: or most of them or but you know, have the
Speaker 1: same view of everything that you do, or are some
Speaker 1: of them also kind of drinking the kool aid and
Speaker 1: staying in the UH In.
Speaker 5: The cults, A lot of the younger ones are definitely
Speaker 5: drinking the kool aid my myself, and I guess mainly
Speaker 5: the older ones are drifting away from it. Currently, there's
Speaker 5: only three of us, three including myself that have.
Speaker 2: UH left.
Speaker 5: I guess m hm.
Speaker 1: And you said you left when you were eighteen. Yeah, well, actually,
Speaker 1: let's say you got kicked out when you're eighteen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was it was actually something that I saw coming.
Speaker 5: He was my dad was like warning me and way,
Speaker 5: but then you know, I think it was the day
Speaker 5: after my birthday that we went out into the the
Speaker 5: garden and he brought me alone, which was a little
Speaker 5: bit different. Usually he would take all the kids out,
Speaker 5: but anyways, it took me out alone and basically without
Speaker 5: even looking at me, and just while he's working, just saying,
Speaker 5: if you're not gonna, you know, if you're not going
Speaker 5: to stay here, go to church and at least try
Speaker 5: and share the same beliefs as I do, and the
Speaker 5: ones I try and teach to my kids. And I
Speaker 5: don't want you here.
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 5: I had a month and then I found a place
Speaker 5: and got out.
Speaker 1: And this was seven years ago.
Speaker 5: Yeah, or a little I'm my birthday's actually coming up.
Speaker 1: This Sunday, So not happy birthday, man, probably closer to
Speaker 1: closer to eight. Wow. Okay, so all right, so you
Speaker 1: have about twenty one brothers and sisters total. Alright, So
Speaker 1: now I'm kind of curious about jumping ahead to contemporary
Speaker 1: times about what your relationship is like with all these
Speaker 1: people that were in your life growing up. Let's start
Speaker 1: with your dad. What was your relationship like with him? Now?
Speaker 5: It's a lot better than it used to be. He
Speaker 5: and I growing up butted heads quite a bit.
Speaker 1: And.
Speaker 5: You know me, he almost took the stance of like
Speaker 5: he didn't kick me out, and I think he kind
Speaker 5: of still believes that to this day that he was
Speaker 5: just in his own way giving me like a stern warning,
Speaker 5: But that comes off maybe a little bit different to
Speaker 5: someone in that situation. So yeah, he and I definitely
Speaker 5: hashed it out a couple times after that, kind of
Speaker 5: laid everything out on the table, and so I think
Speaker 5: I think it's safe to say we have a pretty
Speaker 5: good understanding.
Speaker 1: Now. Was there a period of time, like right after
Speaker 1: you left, where you guys just weren't speaking to each other.
Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, for sure, I think I didn't speak to him. Well, actually,
Speaker 5: I take that back. I should say that growing up
Speaker 5: in there, the majority of like the the workforce labor
Speaker 5: in the community is like construction jobs, like blue collar jobs,
Speaker 5: essentially handyman, the technician, electrical uh technicians, stuff like that.
Speaker 5: And so I was actually still working with him every
Speaker 5: day after I.
Speaker 2: Got kicked out.
Speaker 5: Oh really, And yeah, so for a pretty long time,
Speaker 5: I you know, it was just like, you know, yes
Speaker 5: and nose to answer his questions and whatever I had
Speaker 5: to essentially, and he kind of did the same, you know,
Speaker 5: just almost acted like the both of us weren't there.
Speaker 5: But there were a couple of times those times that
Speaker 5: we hashed out. I mentioned a couple of times were
Speaker 5: on the job and the in front of some people.
Speaker 1: And but yeah, so he you still had to work
Speaker 1: with him even after you sort of like left the
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess calmune and you would call it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, h.
Speaker 1: M okay. But you said that your relationship with him
Speaker 1: now is better. How often do you see him now?
Speaker 5: Maybe once a month or about once or sorry, one
Speaker 5: or two months, every one or two months.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that things are going better with him.
Speaker 1: How many wives is he up to now?
Speaker 2: Still?
Speaker 1: The three?
Speaker 5: He did try to get a fourth, let's say three
Speaker 5: years ago now, I.
Speaker 1: Tried it, and yeah, how did he fail?
Speaker 5: I don't know if it was necessarily him, which is
Speaker 5: actually a surprise that all of us. It was more
Speaker 5: so the the girl that he was after. Uh, she
Speaker 5: had a certain uh she almost came into the let
Speaker 5: me backtrack a little bit at that courtship that I
Speaker 5: mentioned with that uh second wife, you know that happened
Speaker 5: also with the third and same piers, and so she
Speaker 5: started when she started to come over, she almost came
Speaker 5: in with this ah persona of I know what I'm doing,
Speaker 5: I know and I'm kind of already in it, and
Speaker 5: so she was almost acting like a mom to the
Speaker 5: rest of the kids, and and so, like, you know,
Speaker 5: I it was really interesting to me because I didn't
Speaker 5: even have to I was just you know, kind of
Speaker 5: being pleasant to her and like, oh, well, here comes
Speaker 5: another and but just watching the little kids just kind
Speaker 5: of reaction naturally to that, and then it just kind
Speaker 5: of fell apart.
Speaker 1: So I got I got a question for you. When
Speaker 1: was when was this fourth wife attempted to When when
Speaker 1: was he courting this fourth wife? Uh?
Speaker 5: About three years ago?
Speaker 2: Now was she?
Speaker 1: Uh? Was she like your age when he was courting her?
Speaker 1: She was? Uh?
Speaker 5: I think she was only a couple of years older
Speaker 5: than I.
Speaker 1: So tell me now what your relationship is like, Uh,
Speaker 1: with your mom and with wife two and three?
Speaker 5: Uh, with my mom, it's uh, you know, up and
Speaker 5: down still, which is another story. But the second and
Speaker 5: third I actually do have a a pretty good relationship
Speaker 5: with the second wife. She is honestly a sweetheart, and
Speaker 5: she has gone through a lot of her own struggles
Speaker 5: growing up there and in with our family. Our family
Speaker 5: is a whole mess in in and of itself in
Speaker 5: the community. But the third wife. Definitely things have gotten
Speaker 5: better with her, but it's still kind of like a
Speaker 5: I don't know, like, yeah, we're friends for acquaintances, but
Speaker 5: it's almost like almost like we have to be kind
Speaker 5: of relationship.
Speaker 1: Do you do you still work with them?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: No, I it was pretty much my goal ever since
Speaker 5: I got kicked out, or even younger than than that,
Speaker 5: or before is a better way to say. It was
Speaker 5: my goal to get out of that industry and you know,
Speaker 5: not work with them. And I was always really into tech,
Speaker 5: so I slowly got into that after I got out.
Speaker 5: I worked at call center for a while about two years,
Speaker 5: almost two years, and then after that I went to
Speaker 5: school for full stack software development and now my software engineer.
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome, man, I'm glad to hear that you
Speaker 1: were able to We've talked to people on the stream
Speaker 1: before who like have escaped from cults are just generally like,
Speaker 1: you know, weird sort of family situations. I'm always super
Speaker 1: impressed by those callers because a lot of them have stories,
Speaker 1: you know, similar to years where like they are in
Speaker 1: some position where like they're financially reliant on these people
Speaker 1: that are like you know, uh, you know, they're just
Speaker 1: sort of financially reliant on this like weird community that
Speaker 1: they came from. But then they you know, branch off
Speaker 1: from that and and you knows, as you did, you know,
Speaker 1: make a life of your of your own, which is
Speaker 1: really hard. I'm sure that a lot of people who
Speaker 1: you know grew up in your community totally did not
Speaker 1: do that and just uh, you know, squeezed every last
Speaker 1: drop of the kool aid into their mouths, and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, to this day, are are still there.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, absolutely, And thank you for saying that too. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's it is actually sad to see some of the
Speaker 5: friends that I grew up with who like, maybe they
Speaker 5: haven't said it directly, but kind of like what you said,
Speaker 5: it's almost like you can see them see it in
Speaker 5: their eyes that they don't see any other way for themselves.
Speaker 5: And I don't know, I've been listening to your podcast
Speaker 5: for a while now, and that's I hope this makes sense,
Speaker 5: but that's it's kind of reassured me of that, you know,
Speaker 5: that that I that it's okay to not know where
Speaker 5: where you need to go or what to do a situation,
Speaker 5: but maybe just to trust that you are unhappy or
Speaker 5: maybe you're not you don't feel comfortable, or you don't
Speaker 5: feel like you belong or even better, that there's something
Speaker 5: wrong with the situation you're in and you just need
Speaker 5: to trust that you know that and that you need
Speaker 5: to act on getting away from that feeling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's really hard to do that with uh,
Speaker 1: because you kind of have to make that decision. Like
Speaker 1: not only not only do you have to trust yourself,
Speaker 1: you have to actively ignore what other people are telling you.
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure that like you have other like
Speaker 1: your like your friends and you know, uh, your family
Speaker 1: are like actively telling you do not do this, but
Speaker 1: you have to you have to go against that to
Speaker 1: find your own thing. And that's like that's super hard.
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, you know, in my own life, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm very indecisive about things, and I'm always like, when
Speaker 1: I'm about to make some sort of big life decision
Speaker 1: or do anything, I'm always asking everybody around me what
Speaker 1: they think. And you know, uh, it's it's it's hard
Speaker 1: to uh to be able to trust to yourself and
Speaker 1: just be like, I know what is right to do
Speaker 1: for me, and I'm just gonna do it. I don't
Speaker 1: really care what anyone else thinks I have this conviction
Speaker 1: and so yeah, man, I mean that's I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 1: incredibly impressed by, uh, how you're able to form your
Speaker 1: own life out of that. I want to ask you
Speaker 1: before we we go, because what is your relationship like
Speaker 1: with the twenty one siblings?
Speaker 5: It's really good. I mean I should say that one
Speaker 5: of my siblings. I've had my own issues with them
Speaker 5: and her with me, but it's actually we we actually
Speaker 5: went and talked probably two weeks ago, kind of hashed
Speaker 5: things out in a nice way. Definitely not the way
Speaker 5: me and my dad did, but you know, just kind
Speaker 5: of buried the hatchet, so to speak. But the rest
Speaker 5: of them really good, and you know, I just want
Speaker 5: to make sure that they're kind of given that same
Speaker 5: opportunity in a sense, and if and I don't want
Speaker 5: to go up to them directly and defiance of you know,
Speaker 5: my parents and everything that they've learned and been taught
Speaker 5: so far and be like you need to get out
Speaker 5: of here, you know, to to the really young six
Speaker 5: five four year olds running around.
Speaker 1: You know, right, it's hard. I feel like it must
Speaker 1: be hard for you to like know, you're I guess
Speaker 1: boundaries you could say, is the word of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have, you have you have your six year old cousin,
Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, what is my place? What
Speaker 1: is my responsibility? Where do I lie? And like how
Speaker 1: much information I should give to uh, to this, to
Speaker 1: you know, to my to my brothers and sisters about
Speaker 1: like hey, you know you don't have to follow what
Speaker 1: our parents are saying, you know, but it's hard because
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, should I should I intervene? Should
Speaker 1: I not intervene? I I don't know. I can understand
Speaker 1: why that's a struggle.
Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, for sure, it's a It's something that I
Speaker 5: think about quite often, and I'm always wondering what ways
Speaker 5: I can you know, kind of I don't have.
Speaker 2: The words for it.
Speaker 5: I obviously still have a lot of thinking to do
Speaker 5: on that, but I think we're kind of on the
Speaker 5: same page.
Speaker 1: Is there a reason why you You said that you
Speaker 1: don't talk about this stuff a lot, and we've been
Speaker 1: talking about it for about a half hour. Uh, do
Speaker 1: you feel like there's a reason why you don't talk
Speaker 1: about this stuff with other people?
Speaker 5: I guess it's I guess it's maybe just that uh
Speaker 5: that insecurity.
Speaker 1: Uh, sure that I have about it.
Speaker 5: Uh, you know this stranger dynamic that my life has been.
Speaker 5: And uh, of the people that I have told, you know,
Speaker 5: like it's it either does one of two things that
Speaker 5: they become extremely interested in my story or you know
Speaker 5: that aspect of me. And it's almost like, you know,
Speaker 5: after a while, we might become like good friends and whatnot.
Speaker 5: And I do have some of those people, thankfully in
Speaker 5: my life, but a lot of the time it's more
Speaker 5: just like the shock and awe effect of like, well,
Speaker 5: that actually happened to you, and it's just like.
Speaker 1: And then.
Speaker 5: That's almost all you are to them.
Speaker 1: Right, I got I get the sense just now that
Speaker 1: that you you you know, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: you don't want to be defined by this because you
Speaker 1: because that's the thing. You worked really hard, all right,
Speaker 1: as we were talking about, to like not drink the
Speaker 1: kool aid, to go and like build your own life
Speaker 1: outside of this. And I can sell I can. I
Speaker 1: can sort of see why you wouldn't want to, you know,
Speaker 1: tell a lot of people about this and and you
Speaker 1: know kind of revert back to being defined by this
Speaker 1: thing that you worked so hard to escape.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, like I I remember shortly after I moved
Speaker 5: out that I I kind of just you know, flung
Speaker 5: it out there almost when people didn't ask, and I
Speaker 5: kind of noticed, you know, those reactions that I mentioned,
Speaker 5: and it's and I was just kind of had that
Speaker 5: realization like, oh wow, this isn't what I thought it was,
Speaker 5: and it's you know, or people don't react maybe the
Speaker 5: way I thought I would. It was almost like I
Speaker 5: was doing it for attention. Maybe I was. I'm still
Speaker 5: am very anti social, but my socials I would kind
Speaker 5: of contribute that to my lack of social skills that
Speaker 5: I'm still trying to level up, so to speak. But yeah,
Speaker 5: now that I've kind of seen that, like it's I
Speaker 5: like to make a connection or relationship first with a person,
Speaker 5: you know, rather than do it you know, here's this
Speaker 5: interesting thing about me.
Speaker 1: And you want to.
Speaker 5: And I know this. Yeah, sorry, I don't know I'm
Speaker 5: being a bit of a hypocrite because I did quite
Speaker 5: literally tell the call screener you know, hey, I grew
Speaker 5: up in a flick of his household, and I guess
Speaker 5: maybe just to defend myself, I probably don't need to,
Speaker 5: but uh, it's I've been wanting to call in the
Speaker 5: show for a while and just talk to you and
Speaker 5: maybe like get oh.
Speaker 1: Sorry, no, no, you go ahead, I want to let
Speaker 1: you finish.
Speaker 5: No, But to be completely honest, it's it's you know,
Speaker 5: I guess I wanted to kind of at least talk
Speaker 5: to someone outside of where I kind of live in
Speaker 5: that sense, like someone with a much different perspective than
Speaker 5: a lot of the people in the surrounding area that
Speaker 5: I live in. And if I were to really simmer
Speaker 5: down why I kind of wanted to talk to you
Speaker 5: because like even some of the therapists that I've gone
Speaker 5: and seen, I haven't even told them, uh you know
Speaker 5: where I grew up. It's only two of them that
Speaker 5: I've two therapists I've seen that I've told that, And
Speaker 5: so yeah, kind of lost where we were going.
Speaker 1: Sorry, well well no o, Kate. I wanted to ask
Speaker 1: you, you know, sort of to like put a cap on this,
Speaker 1: like what you know, I, like I said, I totally
Speaker 1: understand why you don't want to be defined by this
Speaker 1: thing that you worked really hard to escape from. And like,
Speaker 1: as we're you know, you've told other people listening to
Speaker 1: this about your story, and we appreciate your vulnerability and
Speaker 1: doing so, and like as as a wrap up, like
Speaker 1: what should we know about you as a person? How
Speaker 1: do you want to be seen? What would you like
Speaker 1: for yourself to be known as to people completely outside
Speaker 1: of having nothing to do with your past? What sort
Speaker 1: of porsche would you like to paint that has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with that?
Speaker 5: Maybe just you know, I hope this makes sense, but
Speaker 5: maybe just me, like you know, like a twenty six
Speaker 5: year old guy that likes programming and playing games, and
Speaker 5: you know, just like and if that's that's like one
Speaker 5: small niche of or maybe aspects of myself, like because
Speaker 5: I know it's I think you've said it before, but
Speaker 5: like in one of your past dreams that like, you know,
Speaker 5: your past, where you grow up or what where you
Speaker 5: came from, doesn't define you, you know, And it's uh,
Speaker 5: I guess I just want to if I were to say,
Speaker 5: just for myself, I just want to be, you know,
Speaker 5: completely honest with how I express myself, how I with
Speaker 5: my wants, desires, and you know stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Kayden, is there anything you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: Simplicity is complex, hmm. You are the simplicity. You are
Speaker 5: desiring or wanting well, probably require a lot of work
Speaker 5: and effort behind it to make it happen. And try
Speaker 5: and take it in small steps, break it down as
Speaker 5: small as you can, Digest what you can, and you'll
Speaker 5: get there.
Speaker 1: Caiden, Man, thank you for sharing your story with us,
Speaker 1: and good luck to you in the future. With everything
Speaker 1: you're doing, it sounds like you've built a nice life
Speaker 1: for yourself.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I appreciate that, and same to you. Lyle
Speaker 5: love the stream. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll be listening.
Speaker 5: I'll have a good one.
Speaker 3: Go bye.
Speaker 1: Let's unpack that. Caden, Caden kid, I've been using this phrase.
Speaker 1: I meant what I said. I've been saying that after
Speaker 1: a lot of calls lately, But man, I meant what
Speaker 1: I said to Caiden. It is a a tough, tough
Speaker 1: gig growing up in a community like that, and it's
Speaker 1: hard to when you've been told all these information about
Speaker 1: the world and how it works, it is hard to
Speaker 1: reject all of it and decide to form your own thing.
Speaker 1: That's why again, I think we've taken a sort of
Speaker 1: a call like this before, and I think I said
Speaker 1: a similar thing. I'm super impressed with Caiden and how
Speaker 1: he was able to do that. I also understand why
Speaker 1: he doesn't want it to define him, because he's clearly
Speaker 1: has a lot of other things going on in his life,
Speaker 1: and you know, he's only, you know, still, he's still
Speaker 1: a young man with a desire for other experiences and
Speaker 1: people and life stuff to fill his soul. And it
Speaker 1: was wonderful with him to share that all with us.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I could tell he doesn't really talk about
Speaker 1: this that often because he seemed a little bit nervous
Speaker 1: to talk to us about it. But I'm glad we
Speaker 1: got it out of him because it was very, very
Speaker 1: interesting to hear his perspective on all of this. Do
Speaker 1: I have anything else to say? That was a lot.
Speaker 1: That might have been the longest call I've I've taken
Speaker 1: on this, not not in all of history, but in
Speaker 1: a while. They're in the longest call I've taken in
Speaker 1: a while. That was a dense wiy it. Sometimes people
Speaker 1: come in with like just a you know, some some
Speaker 1: premise to themselves, and it just keeps getting more and
Speaker 1: more interesting, and there's more and more relationship dynamics that
Speaker 1: I want to explore, Like, you know, how he is
Speaker 1: twenty one siblings, Like, what's the deal with that? What
Speaker 1: are those holiday parts? He's like, what are those family reunions?
Speaker 1: Like do we have to rent out a whole friggin arena?
Speaker 1: What's going on with that? And then how he yeah,
Speaker 1: he maintains these this relationship, this weird, hard to define
Speaker 1: relationship between you know, the the two the two other wives.
Speaker 1: I find that super interesting. Thank you for sharing, Kaiden.
Speaker 1: Let's talk to Patty. Hello, Patty, Oh hey man, uh Patty,
Speaker 1: where are you? It sounds like you're in in a
Speaker 1: whole place.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm at an home, but my wife is here
Speaker 6: and she just said, oh my gosh, and she just laughed.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you you're painting a very idyllic picture
Speaker 1: of your life. I can I'm imagining your house, and
Speaker 1: I'm imagining there's a lot of windows with sun pouring
Speaker 1: in and plants and a dog and nice carpet and stuff.
Speaker 1: Is that Is that accurate? Is that where you live?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 6: All right, all right, o you mostly I think you
Speaker 6: actually hit a dead on fifty percent because we have
Speaker 6: a cat and we hate carbon.
Speaker 1: What says here that you are calling me from the Netherlands?
Speaker 6: I am calling you from the Netherlands.
Speaker 1: Lyle, Okay. So did you move there or were you
Speaker 1: born there?
Speaker 6: Actually, my wife and I were both born in the
Speaker 6: United States. We moved here June twenty twenty, three months
Speaker 6: after the welth War.
Speaker 2: I don't know, however many months that is after you want.
Speaker 6: To call when the pandemic started. We moved over here
Speaker 6: because my wife is actually just finishing up a master's.
Speaker 2: Painting h.
Speaker 1: And does she now do painting like as her career?
Speaker 6: I mean, she's always done it since I've known her,
Speaker 6: you know. But she also is an artist of so
Speaker 6: many different like mediums. You know, She's made sculptures and installations.
Speaker 2: And she draws, and she's done a charcoal piece.
Speaker 1: Of my eyeball, charcoal piece of your eyeball. Do you
Speaker 1: have an interesting.
Speaker 2: To her? I think, I hope.
Speaker 6: So we're married.
Speaker 1: So, so you moved in June of twenty twenty from
Speaker 1: the US to the Netherlands. Why the Netherlands and why
Speaker 1: did she? I know you said, because your wife was
Speaker 1: finishing up a master's But why did she decide to
Speaker 1: go to the Netherlands to do that? I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: No I'm just kidding.
Speaker 6: No, we spent actually some years we've been together a
Speaker 6: long time, and we spent some years looking at different
Speaker 6: grad schools for her in various countries in the EU.
Speaker 6: And then you know, where we are now.
Speaker 2: The school year is just.
Speaker 6: So awesome, and like the feeling in the town and
Speaker 6: at the school and with the staff was just right on.
Speaker 6: So then we planned and saved and budgeted, you know it,
Speaker 6: googled how do you move to another country and stuff
Speaker 6: and for two years and then the.
Speaker 2: Pandemic happened and we were like are we still going?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Man, so you kind of escaped all of the craziness
Speaker 1: that was going on in the in the US at
Speaker 1: that time.
Speaker 6: You know, that actually is a really good point that
Speaker 6: you make, because, like my wife just said, coincidentally, it's.
Speaker 2: True, like living where we were to a lot of what.
Speaker 6: Was going on was obviously right in front of our experience,
Speaker 6: and then coming here to the Netherlands, you know, and
Speaker 6: going through the pandemic was a different experience. But then
Speaker 6: watching sort of like the political and the street situations
Speaker 6: back home that was like, right, that was devastating.
Speaker 1: Honestly, right, all right, what was the sort of tone,
Speaker 1: because I mean over here twenty twenty was just it
Speaker 1: was just fucking nuts, like every single day there was
Speaker 1: something crazy happening or you know, I mean it was
Speaker 1: it was just nuts. What was the sort of like
Speaker 1: the tensions just felt really high and everyone you know
Speaker 1: was was definitely under a lot of stress. Did did
Speaker 1: the vibe in the Netherlands feel you know, any different?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Definitely. I mean like there are so many levels for
Speaker 6: that too. I think you have like how the government
Speaker 6: looks at it, how does the average person look at it?
Speaker 6: And then you look amongst the group of people, let's
Speaker 6: say the average person that I just mentioned. There's so
Speaker 6: many different places that people come from and beliefs and
Speaker 6: so and and then as a whole it was just different.
Speaker 6: It's funny enough, like when we got to where we
Speaker 6: are now, specifically, there was like a very very like
Speaker 6: a weirdly low case amount. My wife actually is right
Speaker 6: with me, and is it okay if she chimes in
Speaker 6: a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me talk to her.
Speaker 8: Sure, she's right here.
Speaker 4: Do hile you didn't close?
Speaker 1: Hello? What's your name? Dultonea dultonea.
Speaker 8: Uh huh?
Speaker 1: What do your friends call you? Dulcinea Dultonea. So you
Speaker 1: just finished up you just finished up a uh Masters
Speaker 1: in Painting.
Speaker 8: I'm about to finish it and then like she's in
Speaker 8: hell right now, that's the way to put it.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'll be finished at the end of June.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing that is interesting to me about
Speaker 1: getting an MFA and painting is like do you get
Speaker 1: a grade? Because this is like art, it's subjective, right,
Speaker 1: So how do you get like how do they grade
Speaker 1: on your paintings?
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a really interesting question.
Speaker 10: Well, that's grading is very different from American grading.
Speaker 8: It's not like A through F. It's one through ten
Speaker 8: or ten. I guess ten would be the highest, which
Speaker 8: is like almost impossible.
Speaker 9: To achieve anyway, But how do they bring to I
Speaker 9: think it's really about like the professors really get to
Speaker 9: know what it is you're trying to achieve as an artist,
Speaker 9: and they grade based off of.
Speaker 8: How successful you were in that. So it's not so
Speaker 8: much like how much do I like this painting?
Speaker 3: It's more like Dulcinea achieve what she was trying to
Speaker 3: achieve with its work.
Speaker 1: So you both moved to the now and you know
Speaker 1: it says here in the call screening thing that you
Speaker 1: guys find the Netherlands just in general to be a
Speaker 1: more tranquil place to live than the US. And I'm
Speaker 1: kind of curious while I have you guys here, Uh,
Speaker 1: what you would say, are are some of the key
Speaker 1: differences between living in the two places.
Speaker 8: Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 10: The first immediate sensory experience I had of it, I
Speaker 10: remember moving here.
Speaker 8: And like going out in general volume of.
Speaker 6: Life just being quieter not actually a really nice point.
Speaker 6: There are a lot fewer cars, I think, and I
Speaker 6: don't want to speak for the entirety in the Netherlands
Speaker 6: because again I think where we live is like I
Speaker 6: would call it maybe a small city, but there are
Speaker 6: actually i mean obviously a major city in America, the
Speaker 6: mouth cars is way way.
Speaker 3: Less and the cars are quieter because they're mostly I
Speaker 3: mean there's more.
Speaker 1: Electric car mostly like you know, well, yeah, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say I know that in Uh, I went to
Speaker 1: Amsterdam and over there it's like everyone's on a bicycle,
Speaker 1: which is pretty sweet because like you go to New
Speaker 1: York City and everybody is honking their horns and all
Speaker 1: the time. But uh, the the beautiful thing is because
Speaker 1: of the bikes everyone over there. Instead of hearing horn honks,
Speaker 1: you hear little bell chimes.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 6: But here's the thing, though, that little bell time or
Speaker 6: a filmings get the fucked out the way.
Speaker 1: But it's such a polite way of saying, get the
Speaker 1: fuck out of the way. It's so much better than that.
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true.
Speaker 10: But I mean there's other differences too, Like Dutch people
Speaker 10: are a lot more direct than American especially a lot.
Speaker 8: More direct than West Coast. We're from Seattle, and.
Speaker 10: Like I would say, Dutch people are directed in a
Speaker 10: different way than like New Yorkers are. Like, because my
Speaker 10: dad's fa much Funny Coast, I'm very familiar with that
Speaker 10: energy too, and.
Speaker 8: It's different. It's less like aggressive.
Speaker 10: In the directness, you know, the way East Coast can
Speaker 10: kind of be, and like it's just more like here's
Speaker 10: the point.
Speaker 8: There's no emotion attached there. It is not a lot
Speaker 8: of like.
Speaker 6: Half of aggressive or like talking behind your back or
Speaker 6: beedback is such a thing here. Like even at work,
Speaker 6: you know, you give your direct feedback at a good company,
Speaker 6: let's let's say, yeah.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 8: It's relieving though, because you're not wondering.
Speaker 9: You know, in Seattle, you're always wondering what someone really
Speaker 9: thinks experience.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't wonder that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's awesome. I I like I said,
Speaker 1: I went to I went to the Netherlands a while ago,
Speaker 1: and it's funny to hear you guys talk about the
Speaker 1: Dutch directness, because I experienced that and was talking to
Speaker 1: people there about that and they were like, yeah, the
Speaker 1: Dutch people, they're way more direct. And you know, I've
Speaker 1: always looked at the Netherlands is like, if I had
Speaker 1: to like nuke my life in America and start somewhere new,
Speaker 1: It's one of the places on my list where I
Speaker 1: would go to just start a new life in a
Speaker 1: foreign country.
Speaker 6: Okay, well, attention Lyle and all Americans in the chat,
Speaker 6: and I'm sorry every one of the Netherlands, but you
Speaker 6: there's a really not there's so many really nice agreements
Speaker 6: between the Netherlands and the United States.
Speaker 2: And if you can get hired from abroad.
Speaker 6: From abroad, not only can you get a work visa
Speaker 6: as an American citizen, but you also get thirty percent
Speaker 6: of your growth income untaxed, and there are no income
Speaker 6: minimum for that. Yeah, so let's be clear, there are
Speaker 6: there are there's a list of companies.
Speaker 8: There are rules about let's.
Speaker 6: Say, how much the company has to pay for a salary, which,
Speaker 6: by the way.
Speaker 2: It's not that depending on where you.
Speaker 6: Live in the Netherlands again big city, so pretty expensive.
Speaker 6: But so it's not that you can get any job.
Speaker 6: There are there is a list of companies there. Let's say,
Speaker 6: might be like, I don't even know, I can't speak
Speaker 6: to like qualification.
Speaker 10: What do you?
Speaker 1: By the way, what do you?
Speaker 2: What do you do?
Speaker 1: I know you, I know your your your wife is
Speaker 1: a painter. But we I we never got into what
Speaker 1: you do.
Speaker 6: Of I am a professional presenter and events.
Speaker 1: Hosts, a professional presenter and event What do you what
Speaker 1: do you present?
Speaker 6: Oh? God, dude, you know I mean, if you want it,
Speaker 6: if you got it, I'll present it. I'm presenting the
Speaker 6: fact that I have a I fucking lost my voice
Speaker 6: this morning.
Speaker 1: Right now, tell me, tell me tell me the last
Speaker 1: tell me the last thing you presented. What's the last
Speaker 1: thing somebody gave you.
Speaker 6: That's actually a really ironic way of asking me that
Speaker 6: lyle that I won't say why. Yeah, well it was
Speaker 6: not too long ago. There's actually a series of I
Speaker 6: don't want to get too specific, but honestly, probably even
Speaker 6: losing they'll know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: I did a series of like pieces.
Speaker 6: Of online content that we're a set of, let's say,
Speaker 6: like marketing campaign videos for a tech company that I
Speaker 6: was working for.
Speaker 1: Okay, it sounds like you guys got a good thing going.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 6: You said it at the beginning of this call. You
Speaker 6: were like, oh, Pat, you're painting a picture of an
Speaker 6: idyllic life.
Speaker 2: I have to admit the fifty.
Speaker 6: You got wrong with my dog and my.
Speaker 2: Carpeon.
Speaker 6: But the fifty percent you got right was this amazing
Speaker 6: life we have here, this amazing life I have with
Speaker 6: my wife, we have together with our cat in this
Speaker 6: beautiful country like we are. We are really lucky.
Speaker 8: And our Dutch friend who is with us as well.
Speaker 2: Any none of this whole time.
Speaker 1: No, who's your Dutch friend?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 8: She's right here and she's amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh, let's let's let's end this call by talking to Lola.
Speaker 1: Is is she willing to talk on the phone?
Speaker 2: Okay, if she comes, she comes.
Speaker 8: Hello, this is Lola.
Speaker 1: How are you doing, Lola?
Speaker 4: Well, I'm always enjoying the company of my great American.
Speaker 2: Friends here, did they?
Speaker 1: They didn't tell you to say that, did they?
Speaker 4: No, not at all?
Speaker 1: How did you? How did you meet them?
Speaker 4: That's very interesting, actually, Dulcinea, she just founded me on
Speaker 4: Instagram when she when they just had moved here, and
Speaker 4: of course, like you don't know anyone when you moved
Speaker 4: to another continent. So she was just like looking around,
Speaker 4: like the location tag here's a really great tick when
Speaker 4: you were like.
Speaker 3: Moving abroad and my rophile and sent me just a
Speaker 3: nice DM. And when I read her message, I was like, yes,
Speaker 3: you're my friend. I can tell, and like now we're bestie.
Speaker 1: Really, she just went on the location tab on Instagram,
Speaker 1: saw your face, was like I want to be friends
Speaker 1: with this person. It just sent you a message, complete stranger,
Speaker 1: out of the blue, and you were like hell yeah,
Speaker 1: and now you guys are friends.
Speaker 4: Yep. Of course it was a nice message, like and
Speaker 4: like the way that she phrased everything. I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, you're exactly my kind of person. Our
Speaker 4: whole friendship has been just so it met yep.
Speaker 3: And my friend with Patty too, you know, like of
Speaker 3: course there are two pieces of the pod, so you
Speaker 3: kind of get a package deal here.
Speaker 1: That's amazing that that that that just happened. So like serendipitously.
Speaker 1: Have you made a lot of friends like that and
Speaker 1: these sort of indirect ways?
Speaker 4: Me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you uh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I actually I do think so, you know,
Speaker 4: I always like to be very intuitive with these things,
Speaker 4: and well so did Bills and am and you know,
Speaker 4: normally I would be the person to make such a DM.
Speaker 4: You know, I was like, oh my god, like a
Speaker 4: person like me.
Speaker 1: Hm hmmm mmm. So you saw her sort of have
Speaker 1: the courage to reach out to you, and you were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm this kind of person too, you know, let's be friends.
Speaker 4: Ye mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Have you been to the to the you said your
Speaker 1: name is Lola. Yes, have you been to the US? Lola?
Speaker 8: I have not?
Speaker 1: No, mmm, because I was going to ask, you know, what,
Speaker 1: what do you think is?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 1: Are are sort of the superior parts of living in
Speaker 1: the Netherlands, uh that that you perceive over living in
Speaker 1: the US.
Speaker 8: Pool there's many things. I think the government being pretty
Speaker 8: honest with you.
Speaker 1: Mhmm. I like the h is that where you're abut
Speaker 1: to say yeah, yeah, exactly like I.
Speaker 4: I I love being directed it's just true, you know,
Speaker 4: like I don't like it when people.
Speaker 8: Are passing the graduate with me, you know, because it's
Speaker 8: just in my eyes and.
Speaker 3: In many other Dutch people's eyes, disrespectful, you know, like
Speaker 3: be honest.
Speaker 1: Mhm. Have you ever had a time where you had
Speaker 1: to be honest with somebody and it was difficult for you?
Speaker 4: Of course, it's still difficult, but there's there is there's
Speaker 4: a line.
Speaker 8: Like that you can be honest and still be polite.
Speaker 3: You know, it may not be pleasant all the time,
Speaker 3: but there's no need to be disrespectful or rude. You know,
Speaker 3: that's something different.
Speaker 1: I love that, man, I love you guys, this whole story, dude,
Speaker 1: it's it's really cool because I think all the time
Speaker 1: about nuking my life, and I'm sure a lot of
Speaker 1: people listening to this have had fantasies of nuking their
Speaker 1: lives and moving to a foreign country. And you know,
Speaker 1: it's cool to see that it worked out for for
Speaker 1: Patty and what's what's his wife's name again? Dultin Patty
Speaker 1: and dalton Aa, and that they were able to meet
Speaker 1: friendly and cool people. Lola, is there anything that you
Speaker 1: want to say to a bunch of people on their
Speaker 1: computers right now before we all go.
Speaker 4: I I honestly didn't know about your show until my
Speaker 4: friends you talked to me about it, Like no clue.
Speaker 8: Be nice to other people, that's what's important.
Speaker 1: I love it, Patty Dalton, Aya, Loola, thank you guys
Speaker 1: for calling.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Speaker 6: Lying and I think shout out to just fugging whatever.
Speaker 8: I mean, thanks for taking our calls like a dream.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: So we me and Patty love your show. We listen
Speaker 8: to it all the time when we're stressed. It's just
Speaker 8: like it's then to have it on.
Speaker 7: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, thank you guys very much.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys soon.
Speaker 8: Okay, talk to you.
Speaker 1: I've I've started bringing back talk to you soon. I'll
Speaker 1: end the calls with that. Sometimes, even though I will
Speaker 1: probably never talk to those people again, but it was
Speaker 1: great to talk to them for the amount of time
Speaker 1: that we did get to talk to them. I uh,
Speaker 1: I mean, let's dive into that call. I loved I
Speaker 1: loved that. That was great.
Speaker 3: This.
Speaker 1: I know I've said this about three times already. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it again, but I do think all the
Speaker 1: time about like, uh, you know what if I just
Speaker 1: left my life behind and went to a foreign country,
Speaker 1: and it's awesome anytime you hear from people who did
Speaker 1: that and it worked out for them. I love the
Speaker 1: thing between Dalton AA I hope I'm saying that right
Speaker 1: and Lola where she just went on Instagram did the
Speaker 1: the geo location thing, found Lola and they and now
Speaker 1: they're like good friends. This is That's the beautiful thing
Speaker 1: about the world we live in. I know that there's
Speaker 1: all the stuff about technology is evil and everybody's selling
Speaker 1: our you know, data to people to get us to
Speaker 1: buy uh, selfie sticks and whatnot. But this is one
Speaker 1: of those situations in which technology has has created like
Speaker 1: a beautiful real life friendship. I love that. I feel
Speaker 1: inspired by that call. You know, it's always it's it's
Speaker 1: great to get to talk to people who are who
Speaker 1: are living in other countries or who are from other countries. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, brid broaden our perspectives a little bit. I liked.
Speaker 1: I liked. I think I think if there was anything
Speaker 1: we we talked to those guys for a pretty long time.
Speaker 1: I think if there was anything that I wanted to
Speaker 1: dive into that we didn't get a chance to dive
Speaker 1: into was like learning more about what Patty in Dalton
Speaker 1: Aya's life was like in America and maybe why they
Speaker 1: they a little bit more about why they felt the
Speaker 1: need to leave or what they were unhappy with. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was great talking to those guys.
Speaker 7: Never beat goes on the line, making your phone calls
Speaker 7: every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to his I
Speaker 7: Was teaching you a loud in the mid of your life,
Speaker 7: but he's not really an expert.