1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi. 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 2: How's it going. 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: It's going good, It's fine. Uh morning, I forget what 4 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: day is today? Do you know what day to day is? 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: Unfortunately? 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 3: I do? 7 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 2: It's Friday. 8 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 1: Why do you say unfortunately you know the day? Do 9 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 1: you wish to not know the day? 10 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 2: Nice? It would be nice not to know kind of 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 2: what calendar day we're on and just kind of being like, 12 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 2: oh man, today felt like a Friday, but today I 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 2: was in such a great mood. You know. 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's no. It's so interesting you say that, because 15 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: I feel like, at our best we are forgetting what 16 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: time it is. You know, in a sense, we're we're 17 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: almost like, uh, servants of the calendar of the time. 18 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: You know. What we do is is like we have 19 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: to ask permission from the calendar to be able to 20 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: do stuff like, oh, you can't go out it's a 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: Tuesday night, or you can't eat breakfast it's eleven pm? 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: Like why are our actions so heavily dictated by the 23 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,639 Speaker 1: calendar and by the time. Wouldn't we be more free 24 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: if we just walked around and did things with no 25 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: concern over the position of the sun. 26 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: Exactly. That's well put. I think our lives would be 27 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 2: a whole lot better, and I think we'd be a 28 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,119 Speaker 2: lot more comfortable with our actions that we take. 29 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: Okay, so Matt, Matt, that's your name, that is money, Matt. 30 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: If you didn't know what time it was, do you 31 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: know what time? You know what day it is, but 32 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: do you know what time it is? Don't look if 33 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: you don't know. 34 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 2: I don't don't know what time it is. 35 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what time it is. So if you 36 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: had the ability to never know what time it was 37 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: or what day it was, what would you do with that? 38 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: With that ignorance? 39 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 2: Hmm, that's a good question. I'd probably I would say 40 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 2: I'd be asleep, but that'd probably be a lie because 41 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 2: I think my circadium rhythm is already like set, so 42 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 2: my body just naturally wakes up early. And I could be, 43 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 2: you know, pretty drunk or as tired and out, just 44 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 2: up for no reason and crash out at maybe like 45 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 2: three am, and my body will just naturally be up 46 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 2: by seven. Seven thirty is the latest. It doesn't matter 47 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 2: what the circumstances is. I can just be totally tired, 48 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 2: but it's there and then I'm up. So I would 49 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 2: say in bed, but more than likely. 50 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: Not working, not working? What do you do for work currently? 51 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 2: I work for a bank. 52 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: You work for a bank. What do you do for 53 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: this bank? 54 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 2: I deal with loans. 55 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: You work for a bank, and you deal with loans. 56 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to give out too much information just 57 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 2: because I may or may not be on the clock, 58 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 2: But I work for a bank with loans. 59 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So you work for a bank and 60 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: you deal with loans, and you're not on the clock 61 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: right now. But let's say you were on the clock 62 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: right now and you were taking a phone call, perhaps 63 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: with a gecko. What uh what like room in the 64 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: bank would you be in where you can take a 65 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: phone call such as such as this were you to 66 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: take one. 67 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 2: Probably the utility closet. 68 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: Okay, So were you on a phone call with a 69 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: gecko right now, you would be currently at this moment 70 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: in the utility closet. 71 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 2: That is correct. 72 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: Okay. How big is this utility closet? 73 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 2: H not very big. I want to say maybe three 74 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 2: by four at most. 75 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: And are you or were you on a phone call 76 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: with a gecko? Would you be sitting in a chair 77 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 1: or lying on the floor. 78 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 2: If I were, I would hopefully be sitting on something 79 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 2: I couldn't guarantee the chair. 80 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: Matt, Yes, what are you sitting on right now? 81 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 2: It is a box, a box of cleaner, A. 82 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: Box of cleaners. And what are you looking at right now? 83 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: Like what's in front of your face? 84 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: There is some loose vapor in boxes and it's pretty 85 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 2: much just like coffee paper. Mm hmm, there's now disinfecting 86 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 2: mm hmm mm hmm. 87 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a it's a it's a closet has 88 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: utilities that is cleaning supplies, that has all the things 89 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: that you would you would need in a utility closet. 90 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: That is correct. 91 00:05:54,760 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: Now, how often do you use this space as a 92 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 1: escape from your job? 93 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 2: Oh? I want to say pretty often. There's some micro 94 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 2: transactions that take place. If I have an important call 95 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 2: such as this, m you get a way to take it. 96 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: So, if you have a business related call, will you 97 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: take it in the utility closet or will you just 98 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: take it in the office. 99 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 2: I wish I could, but no, it'd be more personal 100 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 2: or leisure. 101 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: Now have you ever been walked in on taking a 102 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: call in the utility closet? 103 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 2: I have? 104 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: And what was that experience? Like? 105 00:06:55,600 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 2: Well, it's pretty awkward at first, but you know, once 106 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: people realize that I'm just trying to get like a 107 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 2: quiet room and I kind of just put my finger 108 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 2: up for a second, they realize that I can mute it, 109 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 2: and then I just explained the situation. Hey, I'm on 110 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 2: a call obviously personal. When you were. 111 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: Walked in on in the utility closet taking a call, 112 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: were you walked in on by a boss or by 113 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: one of your coworkers a co worker. See, here's what 114 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: I think is the dangers of getting walked in on. 115 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: Here's what I think is the worst part about getting 116 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: walked in on and taking the call in the utility 117 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: closet is that obviously, you know, if it's your boss, 118 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: they're going to be upset with you. But if it's 119 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,239 Speaker 1: your coworker, your coworker is going to see you taking 120 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: a personal call in the utility closet, and then they 121 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: are going to get the idea like, oh shit, I 122 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: should start taking my personal calls in the utility closet. 123 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: And then next thing you know, a call is coming 124 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: in from you know, your wife or whatever it is, 125 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: and you're like, all right, time to go to the 126 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: utility closet and you open it and there's a coworker 127 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: taking a nap, and now all of a sudden, utility 128 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: closet time becomes a scarce resource. This is a well 129 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: kept this is a this is this needs to be 130 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: a well kept secret of yours, or else there's gonna 131 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: be long wait times to get into that utility closet. 132 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 2: Exactly. And I really hope that nobody kind of has 133 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 2: a goal to take my utility closet because that would 134 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 2: be pretty disappointing. 135 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 4: But even. 136 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 2: So, when I leave, I'll kind of put everything back 137 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 2: in place to where it's not I don't want to 138 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 2: say roomy, but as comfortable as it can be. So 139 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: you want to kind of. 140 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: Are you cut now a little bit great place? There's 141 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,439 Speaker 1: not very good reception in the utility class. But Matt, 142 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: are still there. 143 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 2: I'm here hearing. 144 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I could hear you. Matt, listen before we go. 145 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: You know, is there anything that you would want to 146 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: do besides be at the bank working with loans. I'm 147 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: curious kind of what your your dream is, what you 148 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: desire in life outside of the bank. 149 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 2: That's a great question. And there's two things that I 150 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 2: would do, and maybe they could be interchangeable. But I've 151 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: always wanted to be a writer and always wanted to 152 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: be a therapist. So who was. 153 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: Well, I feel like, should you want to start producing 154 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: more written work, you have a nice place to do so, 155 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: right there in that utility closet. 156 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 2: Agreed, agreed, lots of paper handy as well. 157 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: Anything you want to say to the people of the 158 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: computer before we go. 159 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 2: Matt, Uh, yeah, you guys rock. Just be nice, guys, 160 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: stop being idiots. 161 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Matt. 162 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, take care. 163 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: I like that guy. He had a cool, calm demeanor 164 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: to him, and he said he wanted to be a writer, 165 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: and I meant what I said to him that he 166 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: has a nice place to pursue that career in that 167 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: utility closet. Because there's something about a very claustrophobic environment 168 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: that sparks emotions that Matt can use to transmute into 169 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet, so I can't. 170 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: I have no real examples of this, but I do 171 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: feel like if Matt were looking for a place to 172 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 1: sort of be his muse, the utility closet is not 173 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: a bad idea because it's a little bit depressing sitting 174 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 1: in there and from that depression there are beautiful sonnets 175 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: to be mined. But I like Matt, and I hope 176 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 1: his utility closet stays safe from his coworkers. I hope 177 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: his coworkers find their own space, maybe a bathroom stall 178 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: that speaks to them, maybe the vault. That's where I 179 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: would go to take personal calls if I worked at 180 00:11:52,280 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: a bank. Hey, cadenh Yeah, what's up dog? 181 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 5: Nothing much, just hanging out and enjoying the stream. 182 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: Caden? Uh, what is going on with you? What would 183 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: you like to talk about today? 184 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 2: Uh? 185 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 5: Hm, Well, I told this call screener I kind of 186 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 5: wanted to tell you about my life. I think it's 187 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 5: a little bit unique. 188 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 2: I guess please. 189 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 5: Where to start? 190 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 2: Uh? 191 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 5: It's kind of always weird to just tell someone this, 192 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 5: but yeah, so I guess I'll just cut straight to it. 193 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 6: Uh. 194 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 5: So, I am twenty five years old. At eighteen, I 195 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 5: got kicked out of my parents' house because I didn't 196 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 5: want to, you know, believe that their beliefs. 197 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: I guess, well, it says you, can I say, can 198 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: I tell? Can I say? What the Can I say? 199 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: What the you? You told the call screener. 200 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, please says that you grew. 201 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: Up in a polygamist household. Yeah, so does that mean 202 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: that you had many different people who who you referred 203 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: to as mom or dad? 204 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 5: Now it's still just the you know, one dad, the 205 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 5: one mom. 206 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 7: It's and I. 207 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 5: Probably should have used a different word other than household. 208 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 2: It's. 209 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 5: It was an entire uh you know, religion community. And 210 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 5: my dad still to this day has three wives and 211 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 5: almost out a fourth. 212 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: And when when you were growing up, how many wives 213 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: did he have? 214 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 6: Uh? 215 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 5: Well, my mom was the first wife, which is kind 216 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 5: of its own like, you know, what's the word. I'm 217 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 5: looking for the privilege status? 218 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's you get extra privileges being 219 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: the first. 220 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's like one of those unspoken rules, you know. 221 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 5: But yeah, so sorry to answer your question. Uh mhm, 222 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 5: my mom was the first, and I'm the oldest, and 223 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 5: so growing up I watched him, you know, marry the 224 00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 5: other two and the second wive if he married, when 225 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 5: I was probably uh six or seven something like that, 226 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 5: maybe younger, and then the third wife when I was. 227 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 2: Twelve, I believe. 228 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: Hmmm, So okay, so the first one when you were 229 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 1: how oled again. 230 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 5: Uh, five or six five. 231 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: Or six, Okay, uh, and so he just kind of 232 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: kept adding a new wife every few years. 233 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the fourth one failed. 234 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: But yeah, so tell me what was your like relationship 235 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: like with these new wives, because you know, like my 236 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: parents got divorced and my dad remarried and that was 237 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: like my stepmom, and I kind of like, you know, 238 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: that's a that's a a an established sort of family dynamic. 239 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: You know, you have your mom and then the step 240 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: mom is kind of a different relationship. But but this 241 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: is different. This is not like a step mom. This 242 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: is like a I don't even know what you would 243 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: refer to your relationship with this person as. 244 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's I'm glad you brought that up. 245 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 7: It's a. 246 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 5: It was definitely really weird at first. I remember pretty 247 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 5: distinctly when I was like, you know, when he started 248 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 5: dating his second wife or courting as they call it, 249 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 5: and you know, she he started to go out with her, 250 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 5: and it was really confusing to see my mom really 251 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 5: sad and upset about it. And then like all of 252 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 5: a sudden, you know, he there was like this sort 253 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 5: of I guess you could call it an integration period 254 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 5: into our existing family. You know, she started to come 255 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 5: around for like dinners and you know, the Sunday brunch 256 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 5: and whatnot, and then you know, calling in at random 257 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 5: just to like talk to us and stuff. She is 258 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 5: very nice, and I should say that I do have 259 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 5: a good relationship and you know, understanding with all of 260 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 5: them now. But yeah, pretty pretty weird at first. And 261 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 5: then after he married the second I was definitely you know, 262 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 5: I didn't have words for it at the time, but 263 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:40,199 Speaker 5: as from what I've realized now is I was just 264 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 5: really confused as to why my dad was marrying another 265 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 5: another woman and was going to have you know, kids 266 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 5: with them that I would technically be my brothers, and 267 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 5: that just you know, growing up and kind of just 268 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 5: seeing the world around me, it just it didn't really 269 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 5: line up, and so I was just maybe naturally acting 270 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 5: out against that. 271 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 1: Hmm. You said that your you would kind of see 272 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: your mom be upset when your dad started dating his 273 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 1: second wife. So your mom was she like because I guess, 274 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 1: I guess when I'm imagining this like polygamist community, I 275 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: am imagining that your mom and dad kind of go 276 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: into it both knowing what they're getting into, and that 277 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: your mom, I guess I would imagine that your mom 278 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,439 Speaker 1: would like embrace it if it's like part of a 279 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: religion that she's like on board with, but it sounds 280 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 1: like that is not the case. 281 00:18:53,760 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 5: Yeah, agreed, agreed, And it's that's kind of a phase 282 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 5: that I went through as well, or thought process when 283 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 5: I a little bit after he married his third wife, 284 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 5: which that one my mom took the hardest, And that's 285 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 5: that's another thing I could dive into. But to answer 286 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 5: your question, it was, sorry, I'm trying to put put 287 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 5: together the words. I don't talk about this too much 288 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 5: to people, but yeah, I definitely had that sort of 289 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:43,399 Speaker 5: thought process where it's like, well, you chose this, you know, 290 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 5: like you like, why are you? It was almost like 291 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 5: I'm kind of sick of seeing all this, you know, 292 00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 5: sad and hurt, and it kind of inadvertently being taken 293 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 5: taken out on us as on her kids. 294 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, her own you know, Yeah, I can understand 295 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: that feeling. Did you feel like she was taking it 296 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 1: out on you guys? 297 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,880 Speaker 5: I'm in ways. I mean, she definitely tried her hardest, 298 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 5: but you know, me being an adult now and looking 299 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 5: back on it, like I definitely have a lot more 300 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 5: empathy towards her for it, you know, because she was 301 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 5: born into it, grew up and raised and you know, 302 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 5: taught then this this is what God wanted from her 303 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 5: and whatnot? 304 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,479 Speaker 1: So right, So it's it's less of like a right 305 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 1: because I guess at first glance, you know, you could 306 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: be like, well, you know, I don't know why you're 307 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: so upset about your husband marrying other people you chose 308 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: to do this, But you know, at a at a 309 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,239 Speaker 1: closer look, you're like, well, shit, she was kind of 310 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 1: indoctrinated into this whole thing. Sounds like against you know, 311 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: her her will or or or against really knowing any better, 312 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 1: being taught any better as a as a kid. And I, 313 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 1: you know, I that definitely adds a much greater, you know, 314 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: level of empathy to the situation. Why did her Why 315 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: did the third wife in particular get to her more 316 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: than the second. 317 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 5: One at that point? I believe she was in her 318 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 5: thirties and this third wife had just turned nineteen when 319 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 5: they got married, if I'm not mistaken, mm hmm. And 320 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 5: it's as best as we can all tell, it's and 321 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,360 Speaker 5: when I say we, it's my direct siblings is that 322 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 5: it was simply that kind of like, you know, she's 323 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 5: a lot younger and probably considered prettier and that kind 324 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 5: of you know, probably and in any normal relationship where 325 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 5: you know, an older man maybe goes and cheats on 326 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 5: his wife with a much younger, prettier woman. 327 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 1: Right, right scenario, a lot of you know, comparing herself 328 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: to the new wife. 329 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, mhmm. 330 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: Are you an only child? 331 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 5: Far from it. I am the oldest of nine, including me. 332 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: The oldest of nine. Now when you say nine, is 333 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: that nine with uh with your mother or nine total 334 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: with all the wives? 335 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 8: Uh? 336 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 5: Nine total with my mother. Uh, with all of the 337 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 5: wives and my half siblings. But I still like to 338 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 5: consider them my full siblings in a weird way. I 339 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 5: don't know, I grew up. I grew up weird, but uh, uh. 340 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: One twenty with a one total with all of them, 341 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:10,480 Speaker 1: and you consider them all to be you know, you don't, 342 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: You don't make any sort of distinction. You you consider 343 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 1: all of them your. 344 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 5: Brother Yeah, they're my family. 345 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: M hmm. Yeah. Wow. 346 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 5: As I've grown over the years, I've just kind of 347 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 5: adopted or come to terms with where I've came from 348 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 5: and how kind of like what they're going through and 349 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 5: that you know, they didn't choose it either, and they're 350 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,400 Speaker 5: going through a lot of the same stuff and maybe 351 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:40,640 Speaker 5: their own stuff. That's a lot harder. So if it's 352 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 5: something that you know, they were brought in by the 353 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 5: same guy and beliefs, so as I was, so, I 354 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 5: guess that makes this family so m hm. 355 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: And do all of the do do all of them 356 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 1: or most of them or but you know, have the 357 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: same view of everything that you do, or are some 358 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 1: of them also kind of drinking the kool aid and 359 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: staying in the UH In. 360 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 5: The cults, A lot of the younger ones are definitely 361 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 5: drinking the kool aid my myself, and I guess mainly 362 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 5: the older ones are drifting away from it. Currently, there's 363 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 5: only three of us, three including myself that have. 364 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 2: UH left. 365 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,719 Speaker 5: I guess m hm. 366 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 1: And you said you left when you were eighteen. Yeah, well, actually, 367 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: let's say you got kicked out when you're eighteen. 368 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, it was it was actually something that I saw coming. 369 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 5: He was my dad was like warning me and way, 370 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 5: but then you know, I think it was the day 371 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 5: after my birthday that we went out into the the 372 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 5: garden and he brought me alone, which was a little 373 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 5: bit different. Usually he would take all the kids out, 374 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 5: but anyways, it took me out alone and basically without 375 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 5: even looking at me, and just while he's working, just saying, 376 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 5: if you're not gonna, you know, if you're not going 377 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 5: to stay here, go to church and at least try 378 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 5: and share the same beliefs as I do, and the 379 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 5: ones I try and teach to my kids. And I 380 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 5: don't want you here. 381 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:37,640 Speaker 2: And so. 382 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,359 Speaker 5: I had a month and then I found a place 383 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:43,120 Speaker 5: and got out. 384 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: And this was seven years ago. 385 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, or a little I'm my birthday's actually coming up. 386 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: This Sunday, So not happy birthday, man, probably closer to 387 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 1: closer to eight. Wow. Okay, so all right, so you 388 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 1: have about twenty one brothers and sisters total. Alright, So 389 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: now I'm kind of curious about jumping ahead to contemporary 390 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: times about what your relationship is like with all these 391 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 1: people that were in your life growing up. Let's start 392 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 1: with your dad. What was your relationship like with him? Now? 393 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 5: It's a lot better than it used to be. He 394 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 5: and I growing up butted heads quite a bit. 395 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: And. 396 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 5: You know me, he almost took the stance of like 397 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 5: he didn't kick me out, and I think he kind 398 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,200 Speaker 5: of still believes that to this day that he was 399 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 5: just in his own way giving me like a stern warning, 400 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 5: But that comes off maybe a little bit different to 401 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 5: someone in that situation. So yeah, he and I definitely 402 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 5: hashed it out a couple times after that, kind of 403 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 5: laid everything out on the table, and so I think 404 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 5: I think it's safe to say we have a pretty 405 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 5: good understanding. 406 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,399 Speaker 1: Now. Was there a period of time, like right after 407 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,920 Speaker 1: you left, where you guys just weren't speaking to each other. 408 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, for sure, I think I didn't speak to him. Well, actually, 409 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:48,359 Speaker 5: I take that back. I should say that growing up 410 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 5: in there, the majority of like the the workforce labor 411 00:27:53,480 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 5: in the community is like construction jobs, like blue collar jobs, 412 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 5: essentially handyman, the technician, electrical uh technicians, stuff like that. 413 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,120 Speaker 5: And so I was actually still working with him every 414 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,880 Speaker 5: day after I. 415 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 2: Got kicked out. 416 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 5: Oh really, And yeah, so for a pretty long time, 417 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 5: I you know, it was just like, you know, yes 418 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 5: and nose to answer his questions and whatever I had 419 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 5: to essentially, and he kind of did the same, you know, 420 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 5: just almost acted like the both of us weren't there. 421 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 5: But there were a couple of times those times that 422 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 5: we hashed out. I mentioned a couple of times were 423 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 5: on the job and the in front of some people. 424 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: And but yeah, so he you still had to work 425 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: with him even after you sort of like left the 426 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,600 Speaker 1: I guess, I guess calmune and you would call it. 427 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, h. 428 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: M okay. But you said that your relationship with him 429 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: now is better. How often do you see him now? 430 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 5: Maybe once a month or about once or sorry, one 431 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 5: or two months, every one or two months. 432 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that things are going better with him. 433 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 1: How many wives is he up to now? 434 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 2: Still? 435 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: The three? 436 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 5: He did try to get a fourth, let's say three 437 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 5: years ago now, I. 438 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: Tried it, and yeah, how did he fail? 439 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 5: I don't know if it was necessarily him, which is 440 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 5: actually a surprise that all of us. It was more 441 00:29:55,360 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 5: so the the girl that he was after. Uh, she 442 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 5: had a certain uh she almost came into the let 443 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 5: me backtrack a little bit at that courtship that I 444 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 5: mentioned with that uh second wife, you know that happened 445 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 5: also with the third and same piers, and so she 446 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 5: started when she started to come over, she almost came 447 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 5: in with this ah persona of I know what I'm doing, 448 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,719 Speaker 5: I know and I'm kind of already in it, and 449 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,959 Speaker 5: so she was almost acting like a mom to the 450 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 5: rest of the kids, and and so, like, you know, 451 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 5: I it was really interesting to me because I didn't 452 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 5: even have to I was just you know, kind of 453 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 5: being pleasant to her and like, oh, well, here comes 454 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 5: another and but just watching the little kids just kind 455 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 5: of reaction naturally to that, and then it just kind 456 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 5: of fell apart. 457 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: So I got I got a question for you. When 458 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: was when was this fourth wife attempted to When when 459 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: was he courting this fourth wife? Uh? 460 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 5: About three years ago? 461 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 2: Now was she? 462 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 1: Uh? Was she like your age when he was courting her? 463 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: She was? Uh? 464 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 5: I think she was only a couple of years older 465 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:23,920 Speaker 5: than I. 466 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 1: So tell me now what your relationship is like, Uh, 467 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 1: with your mom and with wife two and three? 468 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 5: Uh, with my mom, it's uh, you know, up and 469 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 5: down still, which is another story. But the second and 470 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 5: third I actually do have a a pretty good relationship 471 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:07,479 Speaker 5: with the second wife. She is honestly a sweetheart, and 472 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 5: she has gone through a lot of her own struggles 473 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 5: growing up there and in with our family. Our family 474 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 5: is a whole mess in in and of itself in 475 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 5: the community. But the third wife. Definitely things have gotten 476 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 5: better with her, but it's still kind of like a 477 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 5: I don't know, like, yeah, we're friends for acquaintances, but 478 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 5: it's almost like almost like we have to be kind 479 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 5: of relationship. 480 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 1: Do you do you still work with them? 481 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 2: Uh? 482 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 5: No, I it was pretty much my goal ever since 483 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 5: I got kicked out, or even younger than than that, 484 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 5: or before is a better way to say. It was 485 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 5: my goal to get out of that industry and you know, 486 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,080 Speaker 5: not work with them. And I was always really into tech, 487 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 5: so I slowly got into that after I got out. 488 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 5: I worked at call center for a while about two years, 489 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 5: almost two years, and then after that I went to 490 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 5: school for full stack software development and now my software engineer. 491 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome, man, I'm glad to hear that you 492 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 1: were able to We've talked to people on the stream 493 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: before who like have escaped from cults are just generally like, 494 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: you know, weird sort of family situations. I'm always super 495 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: impressed by those callers because a lot of them have stories, 496 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: you know, similar to years where like they are in 497 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,719 Speaker 1: some position where like they're financially reliant on these people 498 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: that are like you know, uh, you know, they're just 499 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,239 Speaker 1: sort of financially reliant on this like weird community that 500 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 1: they came from. But then they you know, branch off 501 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 1: from that and and you knows, as you did, you know, 502 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 1: make a life of your of your own, which is 503 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: really hard. I'm sure that a lot of people who 504 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: you know grew up in your community totally did not 505 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,279 Speaker 1: do that and just uh, you know, squeezed every last 506 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: drop of the kool aid into their mouths, and uh, 507 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: you know, to this day, are are still there. 508 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, absolutely, And thank you for saying that too. Yeah, 509 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,440 Speaker 5: it's it is actually sad to see some of the 510 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 5: friends that I grew up with who like, maybe they 511 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 5: haven't said it directly, but kind of like what you said, 512 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 5: it's almost like you can see them see it in 513 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 5: their eyes that they don't see any other way for themselves. 514 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,280 Speaker 5: And I don't know, I've been listening to your podcast 515 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 5: for a while now, and that's I hope this makes sense, 516 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 5: but that's it's kind of reassured me of that, you know, 517 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 5: that that I that it's okay to not know where 518 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,240 Speaker 5: where you need to go or what to do a situation, 519 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 5: but maybe just to trust that you are unhappy or 520 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 5: maybe you're not you don't feel comfortable, or you don't 521 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 5: feel like you belong or even better, that there's something 522 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 5: wrong with the situation you're in and you just need 523 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,640 Speaker 5: to trust that you know that and that you need 524 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,280 Speaker 5: to act on getting away from that feeling. 525 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's really hard to do that with uh, 526 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: because you kind of have to make that decision. Like 527 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,680 Speaker 1: not only not only do you have to trust yourself, 528 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: you have to actively ignore what other people are telling you. 529 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure that like you have other like 530 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: your like your friends and you know, uh, your family 531 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 1: are like actively telling you do not do this, but 532 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: you have to you have to go against that to 533 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,399 Speaker 1: find your own thing. And that's like that's super hard. 534 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 1: I mean, dude, you know, in my own life, I'm 535 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,799 Speaker 1: I'm very indecisive about things, and I'm always like, when 536 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,600 Speaker 1: I'm about to make some sort of big life decision 537 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: or do anything, I'm always asking everybody around me what 538 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: they think. And you know, uh, it's it's it's hard 539 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 1: to uh to be able to trust to yourself and 540 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 1: just be like, I know what is right to do 541 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 1: for me, and I'm just gonna do it. I don't 542 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,320 Speaker 1: really care what anyone else thinks I have this conviction 543 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 1: and so yeah, man, I mean that's I'm I'm I'm 544 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 1: incredibly impressed by, uh, how you're able to form your 545 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: own life out of that. I want to ask you 546 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 1: before we we go, because what is your relationship like 547 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: with the twenty one siblings? 548 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 5: It's really good. I mean I should say that one 549 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,280 Speaker 5: of my siblings. I've had my own issues with them 550 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:28,240 Speaker 5: and her with me, but it's actually we we actually 551 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:33,919 Speaker 5: went and talked probably two weeks ago, kind of hashed 552 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 5: things out in a nice way. Definitely not the way 553 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 5: me and my dad did, but you know, just kind 554 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 5: of buried the hatchet, so to speak. But the rest 555 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:48,319 Speaker 5: of them really good, and you know, I just want 556 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 5: to make sure that they're kind of given that same 557 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 5: opportunity in a sense, and if and I don't want 558 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,359 Speaker 5: to go up to them directly and defiance of you know, 559 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:06,080 Speaker 5: my parents and everything that they've learned and been taught 560 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,560 Speaker 5: so far and be like you need to get out 561 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 5: of here, you know, to to the really young six 562 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 5: five four year olds running around. 563 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,759 Speaker 1: You know, right, it's hard. I feel like it must 564 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 1: be hard for you to like know, you're I guess 565 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 1: boundaries you could say, is the word of like, yeah, 566 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: you have, you have you have your six year old cousin, 567 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, what is my place? What 568 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,719 Speaker 1: is my responsibility? Where do I lie? And like how 569 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: much information I should give to uh, to this, to 570 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, to my to my brothers and sisters about 571 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:47,160 Speaker 1: like hey, you know you don't have to follow what 572 00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: our parents are saying, you know, but it's hard because 573 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, should I should I intervene? Should 574 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: I not intervene? I I don't know. I can understand 575 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: why that's a struggle. 576 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, for sure, it's a It's something that I 577 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:09,320 Speaker 5: think about quite often, and I'm always wondering what ways 578 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 5: I can you know, kind of I don't have. 579 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:15,239 Speaker 2: The words for it. 580 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 5: I obviously still have a lot of thinking to do 581 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 5: on that, but I think we're kind of on the 582 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:19,400 Speaker 5: same page. 583 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:22,840 Speaker 1: Is there a reason why you You said that you 584 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: don't talk about this stuff a lot, and we've been 585 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,319 Speaker 1: talking about it for about a half hour. Uh, do 586 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,879 Speaker 1: you feel like there's a reason why you don't talk 587 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 1: about this stuff with other people? 588 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 5: I guess it's I guess it's maybe just that uh 589 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:54,480 Speaker 5: that insecurity. 590 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 1: Uh, sure that I have about it. 591 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 5: Uh, you know this stranger dynamic that my life has been. 592 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 5: And uh, of the people that I have told, you know, 593 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,319 Speaker 5: like it's it either does one of two things that 594 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 5: they become extremely interested in my story or you know 595 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:27,560 Speaker 5: that aspect of me. And it's almost like, you know, 596 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,000 Speaker 5: after a while, we might become like good friends and whatnot. 597 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 5: And I do have some of those people, thankfully in 598 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 5: my life, but a lot of the time it's more 599 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,000 Speaker 5: just like the shock and awe effect of like, well, 600 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 5: that actually happened to you, and it's just like. 601 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:45,800 Speaker 1: And then. 602 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,480 Speaker 5: That's almost all you are to them. 603 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,520 Speaker 1: Right, I got I get the sense just now that 604 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,400 Speaker 1: that you you you know, I don't want to be 605 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,759 Speaker 1: you don't want to be defined by this because you 606 00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,279 Speaker 1: because that's the thing. You worked really hard, all right, 607 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 1: as we were talking about, to like not drink the 608 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 1: kool aid, to go and like build your own life 609 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,680 Speaker 1: outside of this. And I can sell I can. I 610 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,480 Speaker 1: can sort of see why you wouldn't want to, you know, 611 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,440 Speaker 1: tell a lot of people about this and and you 612 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,839 Speaker 1: know kind of revert back to being defined by this 613 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,840 Speaker 1: thing that you worked so hard to escape. 614 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:31,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, like I I remember shortly after I moved 615 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:36,120 Speaker 5: out that I I kind of just you know, flung 616 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 5: it out there almost when people didn't ask, and I 617 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 5: kind of noticed, you know, those reactions that I mentioned, 618 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 5: and it's and I was just kind of had that 619 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 5: realization like, oh wow, this isn't what I thought it was, 620 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:57,640 Speaker 5: and it's you know, or people don't react maybe the 621 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 5: way I thought I would. It was almost like I 622 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 5: was doing it for attention. Maybe I was. I'm still 623 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:11,200 Speaker 5: am very anti social, but my socials I would kind 624 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 5: of contribute that to my lack of social skills that 625 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 5: I'm still trying to level up, so to speak. But yeah, 626 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,200 Speaker 5: now that I've kind of seen that, like it's I 627 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,760 Speaker 5: like to make a connection or relationship first with a person, 628 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,640 Speaker 5: you know, rather than do it you know, here's this 629 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,120 Speaker 5: interesting thing about me. 630 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:38,719 Speaker 1: And you want to. 631 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 5: And I know this. Yeah, sorry, I don't know I'm 632 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,120 Speaker 5: being a bit of a hypocrite because I did quite 633 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,319 Speaker 5: literally tell the call screener you know, hey, I grew 634 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:57,359 Speaker 5: up in a flick of his household, and I guess 635 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 5: maybe just to defend myself, I probably don't need to, 636 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 5: but uh, it's I've been wanting to call in the 637 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,640 Speaker 5: show for a while and just talk to you and 638 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,000 Speaker 5: maybe like get oh. 639 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: Sorry, no, no, you go ahead, I want to let 640 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,600 Speaker 1: you finish. 641 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 5: No, But to be completely honest, it's it's you know, 642 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 5: I guess I wanted to kind of at least talk 643 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:31,920 Speaker 5: to someone outside of where I kind of live in 644 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 5: that sense, like someone with a much different perspective than 645 00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,840 Speaker 5: a lot of the people in the surrounding area that 646 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,440 Speaker 5: I live in. And if I were to really simmer 647 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,279 Speaker 5: down why I kind of wanted to talk to you 648 00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,239 Speaker 5: because like even some of the therapists that I've gone 649 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,960 Speaker 5: and seen, I haven't even told them, uh you know 650 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 5: where I grew up. It's only two of them that 651 00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 5: I've two therapists I've seen that I've told that, And 652 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:08,680 Speaker 5: so yeah, kind of lost where we were going. 653 00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,239 Speaker 1: Sorry, well well no o, Kate. I wanted to ask 654 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 1: you, you know, sort of to like put a cap on this, 655 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:21,120 Speaker 1: like what you know, I, like I said, I totally 656 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,359 Speaker 1: understand why you don't want to be defined by this 657 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 1: thing that you worked really hard to escape from. And like, 658 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,840 Speaker 1: as we're you know, you've told other people listening to 659 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:36,520 Speaker 1: this about your story, and we appreciate your vulnerability and 660 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,840 Speaker 1: doing so, and like as as a wrap up, like 661 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 1: what should we know about you as a person? How 662 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,799 Speaker 1: do you want to be seen? What would you like 663 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:56,439 Speaker 1: for yourself to be known as to people completely outside 664 00:44:56,480 --> 00:45:00,440 Speaker 1: of having nothing to do with your past? What sort 665 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,839 Speaker 1: of porsche would you like to paint that has nothing 666 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:03,360 Speaker 1: to do with that? 667 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:16,120 Speaker 5: Maybe just you know, I hope this makes sense, but 668 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 5: maybe just me, like you know, like a twenty six 669 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 5: year old guy that likes programming and playing games, and 670 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,439 Speaker 5: you know, just like and if that's that's like one 671 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:38,720 Speaker 5: small niche of or maybe aspects of myself, like because 672 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 5: I know it's I think you've said it before, but 673 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,360 Speaker 5: like in one of your past dreams that like, you know, 674 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:50,400 Speaker 5: your past, where you grow up or what where you 675 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:57,080 Speaker 5: came from, doesn't define you, you know, And it's uh, 676 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:04,640 Speaker 5: I guess I just want to if I were to say, 677 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,400 Speaker 5: just for myself, I just want to be, you know, 678 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:16,160 Speaker 5: completely honest with how I express myself, how I with 679 00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:20,279 Speaker 5: my wants, desires, and you know stuff like that. 680 00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,000 Speaker 1: Kayden, is there anything you want to say to the 681 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,799 Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go? 682 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:45,520 Speaker 5: Simplicity is complex, hmm. You are the simplicity. You are 683 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:55,359 Speaker 5: desiring or wanting well, probably require a lot of work 684 00:46:55,719 --> 00:47:03,600 Speaker 5: and effort behind it to make it happen. And try 685 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,160 Speaker 5: and take it in small steps, break it down as 686 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:13,359 Speaker 5: small as you can, Digest what you can, and you'll 687 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 5: get there. 688 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,160 Speaker 1: Caiden, Man, thank you for sharing your story with us, 689 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:23,880 Speaker 1: and good luck to you in the future. With everything 690 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,799 Speaker 1: you're doing, it sounds like you've built a nice life 691 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:26,360 Speaker 1: for yourself. 692 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,840 Speaker 5: Thank you. I appreciate that, and same to you. Lyle 693 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,880 Speaker 5: love the stream. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll be listening. 694 00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:40,480 Speaker 5: I'll have a good one. 695 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,000 Speaker 3: Go bye. 696 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:51,040 Speaker 1: Let's unpack that. Caden, Caden kid, I've been using this phrase. 697 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:52,839 Speaker 1: I meant what I said. I've been saying that after 698 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 1: a lot of calls lately, But man, I meant what 699 00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:03,360 Speaker 1: I said to Caiden. It is a a tough, tough 700 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:12,719 Speaker 1: gig growing up in a community like that, and it's 701 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:19,440 Speaker 1: hard to when you've been told all these information about 702 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:25,160 Speaker 1: the world and how it works, it is hard to 703 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:30,399 Speaker 1: reject all of it and decide to form your own thing. 704 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,719 Speaker 1: That's why again, I think we've taken a sort of 705 00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,759 Speaker 1: a call like this before, and I think I said 706 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 1: a similar thing. I'm super impressed with Caiden and how 707 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,359 Speaker 1: he was able to do that. I also understand why 708 00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,640 Speaker 1: he doesn't want it to define him, because he's clearly 709 00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,960 Speaker 1: has a lot of other things going on in his life, 710 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,439 Speaker 1: and you know, he's only, you know, still, he's still 711 00:48:51,440 --> 00:49:00,600 Speaker 1: a young man with a desire for other experiences and 712 00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 1: people and life stuff to fill his soul. And it 713 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,799 Speaker 1: was wonderful with him to share that all with us. 714 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:15,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, I could tell he doesn't really talk about 715 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,920 Speaker 1: this that often because he seemed a little bit nervous 716 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 1: to talk to us about it. But I'm glad we 717 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,359 Speaker 1: got it out of him because it was very, very 718 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: interesting to hear his perspective on all of this. Do 719 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,920 Speaker 1: I have anything else to say? That was a lot. 720 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,840 Speaker 1: That might have been the longest call I've I've taken 721 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,160 Speaker 1: on this, not not in all of history, but in 722 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:38,719 Speaker 1: a while. They're in the longest call I've taken in 723 00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,640 Speaker 1: a while. That was a dense wiy it. Sometimes people 724 00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:46,120 Speaker 1: come in with like just a you know, some some 725 00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 1: premise to themselves, and it just keeps getting more and 726 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,279 Speaker 1: more interesting, and there's more and more relationship dynamics that 727 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,640 Speaker 1: I want to explore, Like, you know, how he is 728 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 1: twenty one siblings, Like, what's the deal with that? What 729 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:04,080 Speaker 1: are those holiday parts? He's like, what are those family reunions? 730 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,520 Speaker 1: Like do we have to rent out a whole friggin arena? 731 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,920 Speaker 1: What's going on with that? And then how he yeah, 732 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,360 Speaker 1: he maintains these this relationship, this weird, hard to define 733 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:18,320 Speaker 1: relationship between you know, the the two the two other wives. 734 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,840 Speaker 1: I find that super interesting. Thank you for sharing, Kaiden. 735 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:40,720 Speaker 1: Let's talk to Patty. Hello, Patty, Oh hey man, uh Patty, 736 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 1: where are you? It sounds like you're in in a 737 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:43,400 Speaker 1: whole place. 738 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,399 Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm at an home, but my wife is here 739 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,920 Speaker 6: and she just said, oh my gosh, and she just laughed. 740 00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,120 Speaker 1: It sounds like you you're painting a very idyllic picture 741 00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:59,040 Speaker 1: of your life. I can I'm imagining your house, and 742 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,000 Speaker 1: I'm imagining there's a lot of windows with sun pouring 743 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:06,320 Speaker 1: in and plants and a dog and nice carpet and stuff. 744 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,759 Speaker 1: Is that Is that accurate? Is that where you live? 745 00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:11,399 Speaker 2: All right? 746 00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 6: All right, all right, o you mostly I think you 747 00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,920 Speaker 6: actually hit a dead on fifty percent because we have 748 00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,240 Speaker 6: a cat and we hate carbon. 749 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:29,000 Speaker 1: What says here that you are calling me from the Netherlands? 750 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,080 Speaker 6: I am calling you from the Netherlands. 751 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:38,719 Speaker 1: Lyle, Okay. So did you move there or were you 752 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:39,279 Speaker 1: born there? 753 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,680 Speaker 6: Actually, my wife and I were both born in the 754 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:49,959 Speaker 6: United States. We moved here June twenty twenty, three months 755 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,359 Speaker 6: after the welth War. 756 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,280 Speaker 2: I don't know, however many months that is after you want. 757 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:56,919 Speaker 6: To call when the pandemic started. We moved over here 758 00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,080 Speaker 6: because my wife is actually just finishing up a master's. 759 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,040 Speaker 2: Painting h. 760 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,440 Speaker 1: And does she now do painting like as her career? 761 00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,680 Speaker 6: I mean, she's always done it since I've known her, 762 00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,440 Speaker 6: you know. But she also is an artist of so 763 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:21,680 Speaker 6: many different like mediums. You know, She's made sculptures and installations. 764 00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,240 Speaker 2: And she draws, and she's done a charcoal piece. 765 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:27,319 Speaker 1: Of my eyeball, charcoal piece of your eyeball. Do you 766 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:28,600 Speaker 1: have an interesting. 767 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,080 Speaker 2: To her? I think, I hope. 768 00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:34,880 Speaker 6: So we're married. 769 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:40,920 Speaker 1: So, so you moved in June of twenty twenty from 770 00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:45,200 Speaker 1: the US to the Netherlands. Why the Netherlands and why 771 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,759 Speaker 1: did she? I know you said, because your wife was 772 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,040 Speaker 1: finishing up a master's But why did she decide to 773 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:54,080 Speaker 1: go to the Netherlands to do that? I don't know, man, 774 00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:55,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. 775 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:56,080 Speaker 2: No I'm just kidding. 776 00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:00,160 Speaker 6: No, we spent actually some years we've been together a 777 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,800 Speaker 6: long time, and we spent some years looking at different 778 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:07,480 Speaker 6: grad schools for her in various countries in the EU. 779 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,960 Speaker 6: And then you know, where we are now. 780 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:10,920 Speaker 2: The school year is just. 781 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,759 Speaker 6: So awesome, and like the feeling in the town and 782 00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,640 Speaker 6: at the school and with the staff was just right on. 783 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:23,719 Speaker 6: So then we planned and saved and budgeted, you know it, 784 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,480 Speaker 6: googled how do you move to another country and stuff 785 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,359 Speaker 6: and for two years and then the. 786 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,640 Speaker 2: Pandemic happened and we were like are we still going? 787 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:32,080 Speaker 4: Yes? 788 00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 1: Man, so you kind of escaped all of the craziness 789 00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,000 Speaker 1: that was going on in the in the US at 790 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:40,399 Speaker 1: that time. 791 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,839 Speaker 6: You know, that actually is a really good point that 792 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,720 Speaker 6: you make, because, like my wife just said, coincidentally, it's. 793 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,920 Speaker 2: True, like living where we were to a lot of what. 794 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,279 Speaker 6: Was going on was obviously right in front of our experience, 795 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,040 Speaker 6: and then coming here to the Netherlands, you know, and 796 00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:02,279 Speaker 6: going through the pandemic was a different experience. But then 797 00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:06,439 Speaker 6: watching sort of like the political and the street situations 798 00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,480 Speaker 6: back home that was like, right, that was devastating. 799 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:15,520 Speaker 1: Honestly, right, all right, what was the sort of tone, 800 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,360 Speaker 1: because I mean over here twenty twenty was just it 801 00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:22,040 Speaker 1: was just fucking nuts, like every single day there was 802 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:26,440 Speaker 1: something crazy happening or you know, I mean it was 803 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,680 Speaker 1: it was just nuts. What was the sort of like 804 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,480 Speaker 1: the tensions just felt really high and everyone you know 805 00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:36,600 Speaker 1: was was definitely under a lot of stress. Did did 806 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:40,120 Speaker 1: the vibe in the Netherlands feel you know, any different? 807 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:43,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? 808 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,279 Speaker 6: Definitely. I mean like there are so many levels for 809 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,760 Speaker 6: that too. I think you have like how the government 810 00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,920 Speaker 6: looks at it, how does the average person look at it? 811 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,960 Speaker 6: And then you look amongst the group of people, let's 812 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,080 Speaker 6: say the average person that I just mentioned. There's so 813 00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:01,239 Speaker 6: many different places that people come from and beliefs and 814 00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,600 Speaker 6: so and and then as a whole it was just different. 815 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,560 Speaker 6: It's funny enough, like when we got to where we 816 00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:13,840 Speaker 6: are now, specifically, there was like a very very like 817 00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:19,279 Speaker 6: a weirdly low case amount. My wife actually is right 818 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,600 Speaker 6: with me, and is it okay if she chimes in 819 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:23,320 Speaker 6: a little bit. 820 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, let me talk to her. 821 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:27,759 Speaker 8: Sure, she's right here. 822 00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,879 Speaker 4: Do hile you didn't close? 823 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:38,320 Speaker 1: Hello? What's your name? Dultonea dultonea. 824 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:40,640 Speaker 8: Uh huh? 825 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:47,920 Speaker 1: What do your friends call you? Dulcinea Dultonea. So you 826 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,840 Speaker 1: just finished up you just finished up a uh Masters 827 00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:52,360 Speaker 1: in Painting. 828 00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:57,360 Speaker 8: I'm about to finish it and then like she's in 829 00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,719 Speaker 8: hell right now, that's the way to put it. 830 00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:05,000 Speaker 9: Yeah, I'll be finished at the end of June. 831 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:08,280 Speaker 1: So here's the thing that is interesting to me about 832 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,279 Speaker 1: getting an MFA and painting is like do you get 833 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:14,080 Speaker 1: a grade? Because this is like art, it's subjective, right, 834 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,800 Speaker 1: So how do you get like how do they grade 835 00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,120 Speaker 1: on your paintings? 836 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,120 Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a really interesting question. 837 00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,760 Speaker 10: Well, that's grading is very different from American grading. 838 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,279 Speaker 8: It's not like A through F. It's one through ten 839 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,919 Speaker 8: or ten. I guess ten would be the highest, which 840 00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,840 Speaker 8: is like almost impossible. 841 00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:38,400 Speaker 9: To achieve anyway, But how do they bring to I 842 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:42,080 Speaker 9: think it's really about like the professors really get to 843 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,240 Speaker 9: know what it is you're trying to achieve as an artist, 844 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:46,640 Speaker 9: and they grade based off of. 845 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,600 Speaker 8: How successful you were in that. So it's not so 846 00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:51,640 Speaker 8: much like how much do I like this painting? 847 00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,680 Speaker 3: It's more like Dulcinea achieve what she was trying to 848 00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:55,680 Speaker 3: achieve with its work. 849 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:00,880 Speaker 1: So you both moved to the now and you know 850 00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:04,480 Speaker 1: it says here in the call screening thing that you 851 00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:08,319 Speaker 1: guys find the Netherlands just in general to be a 852 00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:11,759 Speaker 1: more tranquil place to live than the US. And I'm 853 00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,480 Speaker 1: kind of curious while I have you guys here, Uh, 854 00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 1: what you would say, are are some of the key 855 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,720 Speaker 1: differences between living in the two places. 856 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:25,919 Speaker 8: Yeah, there's a lot. 857 00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:30,120 Speaker 10: The first immediate sensory experience I had of it, I 858 00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:31,440 Speaker 10: remember moving here. 859 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,080 Speaker 8: And like going out in general volume of. 860 00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,479 Speaker 6: Life just being quieter not actually a really nice point. 861 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,280 Speaker 6: There are a lot fewer cars, I think, and I 862 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,360 Speaker 6: don't want to speak for the entirety in the Netherlands 863 00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,120 Speaker 6: because again I think where we live is like I 864 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,160 Speaker 6: would call it maybe a small city, but there are 865 00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,640 Speaker 6: actually i mean obviously a major city in America, the 866 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,760 Speaker 6: mouth cars is way way. 867 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,560 Speaker 3: Less and the cars are quieter because they're mostly I 868 00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:58,200 Speaker 3: mean there's more. 869 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,520 Speaker 1: Electric car mostly like you know, well, yeah, I was 870 00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,960 Speaker 1: gonna say I know that in Uh, I went to 871 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,560 Speaker 1: Amsterdam and over there it's like everyone's on a bicycle, 872 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,840 Speaker 1: which is pretty sweet because like you go to New 873 00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:15,200 Speaker 1: York City and everybody is honking their horns and all 874 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 1: the time. But uh, the the beautiful thing is because 875 00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:23,360 Speaker 1: of the bikes everyone over there. Instead of hearing horn honks, 876 00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:24,600 Speaker 1: you hear little bell chimes. 877 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:27,400 Speaker 2: That's right. 878 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,720 Speaker 6: But here's the thing, though, that little bell time or 879 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,880 Speaker 6: a filmings get the fucked out the way. 880 00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,920 Speaker 1: But it's such a polite way of saying, get the 881 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:40,320 Speaker 1: fuck out of the way. It's so much better than that. 882 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,680 Speaker 2: That's true, that's true. 883 00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:45,480 Speaker 10: But I mean there's other differences too, Like Dutch people 884 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,720 Speaker 10: are a lot more direct than American especially a lot. 885 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:51,880 Speaker 8: More direct than West Coast. We're from Seattle, and. 886 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,640 Speaker 10: Like I would say, Dutch people are directed in a 887 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:58,600 Speaker 10: different way than like New Yorkers are. Like, because my 888 00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,560 Speaker 10: dad's fa much Funny Coast, I'm very familiar with that 889 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,040 Speaker 10: energy too, and. 890 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,200 Speaker 8: It's different. It's less like aggressive. 891 00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,920 Speaker 10: In the directness, you know, the way East Coast can 892 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,400 Speaker 10: kind of be, and like it's just more like here's 893 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:12,760 Speaker 10: the point. 894 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:16,520 Speaker 8: There's no emotion attached there. It is not a lot 895 00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:16,959 Speaker 8: of like. 896 00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,840 Speaker 6: Half of aggressive or like talking behind your back or 897 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,560 Speaker 6: beedback is such a thing here. Like even at work, 898 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,520 Speaker 6: you know, you give your direct feedback at a good company, 899 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 6: let's let's say, yeah. 900 00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:30,040 Speaker 3: And. 901 00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:33,960 Speaker 8: It's relieving though, because you're not wondering. 902 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,360 Speaker 9: You know, in Seattle, you're always wondering what someone really 903 00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:38,160 Speaker 9: thinks experience. 904 00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:39,280 Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't wonder that. 905 00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:43,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's awesome. I I like I said, 906 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,439 Speaker 1: I went to I went to the Netherlands a while ago, 907 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,320 Speaker 1: and it's funny to hear you guys talk about the 908 00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:52,240 Speaker 1: Dutch directness, because I experienced that and was talking to 909 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,680 Speaker 1: people there about that and they were like, yeah, the 910 00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:58,960 Speaker 1: Dutch people, they're way more direct. And you know, I've 911 00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:00,960 Speaker 1: always looked at the Netherlands is like, if I had 912 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:05,120 Speaker 1: to like nuke my life in America and start somewhere new, 913 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,360 Speaker 1: It's one of the places on my list where I 914 01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,080 Speaker 1: would go to just start a new life in a 915 01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:09,880 Speaker 1: foreign country. 916 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,120 Speaker 6: Okay, well, attention Lyle and all Americans in the chat, 917 01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:20,360 Speaker 6: and I'm sorry every one of the Netherlands, but you 918 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:23,640 Speaker 6: there's a really not there's so many really nice agreements 919 01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 6: between the Netherlands and the United States. 920 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,520 Speaker 2: And if you can get hired from abroad. 921 01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:32,080 Speaker 6: From abroad, not only can you get a work visa 922 01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:35,640 Speaker 6: as an American citizen, but you also get thirty percent 923 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:39,720 Speaker 6: of your growth income untaxed, and there are no income 924 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:43,760 Speaker 6: minimum for that. Yeah, so let's be clear, there are 925 01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,480 Speaker 6: there are there's a list of companies. 926 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,560 Speaker 8: There are rules about let's. 927 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,200 Speaker 6: Say, how much the company has to pay for a salary, which, 928 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:50,960 Speaker 6: by the way. 929 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:52,680 Speaker 2: It's not that depending on where you. 930 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:56,120 Speaker 6: Live in the Netherlands again big city, so pretty expensive. 931 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,479 Speaker 6: But so it's not that you can get any job. 932 01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:01,360 Speaker 6: There are there is a list of companies there. Let's say, 933 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,600 Speaker 6: might be like, I don't even know, I can't speak 934 01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:05,360 Speaker 6: to like qualification. 935 01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:05,720 Speaker 10: What do you? 936 01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:06,480 Speaker 1: By the way, what do you? 937 01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:07,120 Speaker 2: What do you do? 938 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,440 Speaker 1: I know you, I know your your your wife is 939 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,160 Speaker 1: a painter. But we I we never got into what 940 01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:11,640 Speaker 1: you do. 941 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:21,120 Speaker 6: Of I am a professional presenter and events. 942 01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:26,240 Speaker 1: Hosts, a professional presenter and event What do you what 943 01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:26,880 Speaker 1: do you present? 944 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,200 Speaker 6: Oh? God, dude, you know I mean, if you want it, 945 01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 6: if you got it, I'll present it. I'm presenting the 946 01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:39,840 Speaker 6: fact that I have a I fucking lost my voice 947 01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:40,840 Speaker 6: this morning. 948 01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,000 Speaker 1: Right now, tell me, tell me tell me the last 949 01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,840 Speaker 1: tell me the last thing you presented. What's the last 950 01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:47,680 Speaker 1: thing somebody gave you. 951 01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,800 Speaker 6: That's actually a really ironic way of asking me that 952 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,360 Speaker 6: lyle that I won't say why. Yeah, well it was 953 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,320 Speaker 6: not too long ago. There's actually a series of I 954 01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,640 Speaker 6: don't want to get too specific, but honestly, probably even 955 01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,280 Speaker 6: losing they'll know what I'm talking about. 956 01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,280 Speaker 2: I did a series of like pieces. 957 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:13,800 Speaker 6: Of online content that we're a set of, let's say, 958 01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:19,560 Speaker 6: like marketing campaign videos for a tech company that I 959 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:20,160 Speaker 6: was working for. 960 01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:25,320 Speaker 1: Okay, it sounds like you guys got a good thing going. 961 01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:27,720 Speaker 2: Dude. 962 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,520 Speaker 6: You said it at the beginning of this call. You 963 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,120 Speaker 6: were like, oh, Pat, you're painting a picture of an 964 01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:32,880 Speaker 6: idyllic life. 965 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:34,800 Speaker 2: I have to admit the fifty. 966 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:36,480 Speaker 6: You got wrong with my dog and my. 967 01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:38,480 Speaker 2: Carpeon. 968 01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,640 Speaker 6: But the fifty percent you got right was this amazing 969 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,320 Speaker 6: life we have here, this amazing life I have with 970 01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,920 Speaker 6: my wife, we have together with our cat in this 971 01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,600 Speaker 6: beautiful country like we are. We are really lucky. 972 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,360 Speaker 8: And our Dutch friend who is with us as well. 973 01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:54,080 Speaker 2: Any none of this whole time. 974 01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,120 Speaker 1: No, who's your Dutch friend? 975 01:02:58,920 --> 01:02:59,400 Speaker 9: Uh? 976 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,640 Speaker 8: She's right here and she's amazing. 977 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 978 01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:07,320 Speaker 1: Uh, let's let's let's end this call by talking to Lola. 979 01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,880 Speaker 1: Is is she willing to talk on the phone? 980 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:14,040 Speaker 2: Okay, if she comes, she comes. 981 01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:15,000 Speaker 8: Hello, this is Lola. 982 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,040 Speaker 1: How are you doing, Lola? 983 01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:24,000 Speaker 4: Well, I'm always enjoying the company of my great American. 984 01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,520 Speaker 2: Friends here, did they? 985 01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:27,960 Speaker 1: They didn't tell you to say that, did they? 986 01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:33,200 Speaker 4: No, not at all? 987 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:39,640 Speaker 1: How did you? How did you meet them? 988 01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:44,640 Speaker 4: That's very interesting, actually, Dulcinea, she just founded me on 989 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:47,560 Speaker 4: Instagram when she when they just had moved here, and 990 01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,520 Speaker 4: of course, like you don't know anyone when you moved 991 01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:53,240 Speaker 4: to another continent. So she was just like looking around, 992 01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:56,680 Speaker 4: like the location tag here's a really great tick when 993 01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:57,320 Speaker 4: you were like. 994 01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:02,320 Speaker 3: Moving abroad and my rophile and sent me just a 995 01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:05,880 Speaker 3: nice DM. And when I read her message, I was like, yes, 996 01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,320 Speaker 3: you're my friend. I can tell, and like now we're bestie. 997 01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:14,840 Speaker 1: Really, she just went on the location tab on Instagram, 998 01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,040 Speaker 1: saw your face, was like I want to be friends 999 01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:21,800 Speaker 1: with this person. It just sent you a message, complete stranger, 1000 01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:24,600 Speaker 1: out of the blue, and you were like hell yeah, 1001 01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:25,640 Speaker 1: and now you guys are friends. 1002 01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,120 Speaker 4: Yep. Of course it was a nice message, like and 1003 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,200 Speaker 4: like the way that she phrased everything. I was like, 1004 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:34,960 Speaker 4: oh my god, you're exactly my kind of person. Our 1005 01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:39,280 Speaker 4: whole friendship has been just so it met yep. 1006 01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:42,280 Speaker 3: And my friend with Patty too, you know, like of 1007 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:44,120 Speaker 3: course there are two pieces of the pod, so you 1008 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:45,760 Speaker 3: kind of get a package deal here. 1009 01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,880 Speaker 1: That's amazing that that that that just happened. So like serendipitously. 1010 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,280 Speaker 1: Have you made a lot of friends like that and 1011 01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,000 Speaker 1: these sort of indirect ways? 1012 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:01,040 Speaker 4: Me? 1013 01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:03,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you uh. 1014 01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I actually I do think so, you know, 1015 01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,480 Speaker 4: I always like to be very intuitive with these things, 1016 01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:15,240 Speaker 4: and well so did Bills and am and you know, 1017 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:18,360 Speaker 4: normally I would be the person to make such a DM. 1018 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:20,960 Speaker 4: You know, I was like, oh my god, like a 1019 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:21,800 Speaker 4: person like me. 1020 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,440 Speaker 1: Hm hmmm mmm. So you saw her sort of have 1021 01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,800 Speaker 1: the courage to reach out to you, and you were like, oh, 1022 01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:33,640 Speaker 1: I'm this kind of person too, you know, let's be friends. 1023 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,640 Speaker 4: Ye mm hmm. 1024 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,800 Speaker 1: Have you been to the to the you said your 1025 01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:42,120 Speaker 1: name is Lola. Yes, have you been to the US? Lola? 1026 01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:45,120 Speaker 8: I have not? 1027 01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:51,160 Speaker 1: No, mmm, because I was going to ask, you know, what, 1028 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:53,240 Speaker 1: what do you think is? 1029 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:53,800 Speaker 6: Uh? 1030 01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:57,800 Speaker 1: Are are sort of the superior parts of living in 1031 01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,280 Speaker 1: the Netherlands, uh that that you perceive over living in 1032 01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:01,840 Speaker 1: the US. 1033 01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:13,040 Speaker 8: Pool there's many things. I think the government being pretty 1034 01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:13,680 Speaker 8: honest with you. 1035 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:21,160 Speaker 1: Mhmm. I like the h is that where you're abut 1036 01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:24,760 Speaker 1: to say yeah, yeah, exactly like I. 1037 01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:28,560 Speaker 4: I I love being directed it's just true, you know, 1038 01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:30,560 Speaker 4: like I don't like it when people. 1039 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,160 Speaker 8: Are passing the graduate with me, you know, because it's 1040 01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:33,360 Speaker 8: just in my eyes and. 1041 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:37,360 Speaker 3: In many other Dutch people's eyes, disrespectful, you know, like 1042 01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:38,520 Speaker 3: be honest. 1043 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,840 Speaker 1: Mhm. Have you ever had a time where you had 1044 01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:44,040 Speaker 1: to be honest with somebody and it was difficult for you? 1045 01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:51,479 Speaker 4: Of course, it's still difficult, but there's there is there's 1046 01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:52,360 Speaker 4: a line. 1047 01:06:52,320 --> 01:06:55,120 Speaker 8: Like that you can be honest and still be polite. 1048 01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:56,960 Speaker 3: You know, it may not be pleasant all the time, 1049 01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,240 Speaker 3: but there's no need to be disrespectful or rude. You know, 1050 01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:01,640 Speaker 3: that's something different. 1051 01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,440 Speaker 1: I love that, man, I love you guys, this whole story, dude, 1052 01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,120 Speaker 1: it's it's really cool because I think all the time 1053 01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:11,480 Speaker 1: about nuking my life, and I'm sure a lot of 1054 01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:14,560 Speaker 1: people listening to this have had fantasies of nuking their 1055 01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,720 Speaker 1: lives and moving to a foreign country. And you know, 1056 01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:23,360 Speaker 1: it's cool to see that it worked out for for 1057 01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:31,640 Speaker 1: Patty and what's what's his wife's name again? Dultin Patty 1058 01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:34,320 Speaker 1: and dalton Aa, and that they were able to meet 1059 01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:38,680 Speaker 1: friendly and cool people. Lola, is there anything that you 1060 01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:42,040 Speaker 1: want to say to a bunch of people on their 1061 01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:43,840 Speaker 1: computers right now before we all go. 1062 01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,000 Speaker 4: I I honestly didn't know about your show until my 1063 01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:55,360 Speaker 4: friends you talked to me about it, Like no clue. 1064 01:07:56,520 --> 01:08:00,600 Speaker 8: Be nice to other people, that's what's important. 1065 01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:05,520 Speaker 1: I love it, Patty Dalton, Aya, Loola, thank you guys 1066 01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:05,919 Speaker 1: for calling. 1067 01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:09,320 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. 1068 01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:14,000 Speaker 6: Lying and I think shout out to just fugging whatever. 1069 01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:18,120 Speaker 8: I mean, thanks for taking our calls like a dream. 1070 01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:18,599 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1071 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,240 Speaker 8: So we me and Patty love your show. We listen 1072 01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:23,400 Speaker 8: to it all the time when we're stressed. It's just 1073 01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:24,439 Speaker 8: like it's then to have it on. 1074 01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:25,160 Speaker 7: Thank you. 1075 01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:28,479 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, thank you guys very much. 1076 01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:28,599 Speaker 2: Man. 1077 01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:29,439 Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys soon. 1078 01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:32,800 Speaker 8: Okay, talk to you. 1079 01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,519 Speaker 1: I've I've started bringing back talk to you soon. I'll 1080 01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:40,639 Speaker 1: end the calls with that. Sometimes, even though I will 1081 01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:42,439 Speaker 1: probably never talk to those people again, but it was 1082 01:08:42,479 --> 01:08:45,320 Speaker 1: great to talk to them for the amount of time 1083 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,120 Speaker 1: that we did get to talk to them. I uh, 1084 01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,800 Speaker 1: I mean, let's dive into that call. I loved I 1085 01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:52,519 Speaker 1: loved that. That was great. 1086 01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:52,880 Speaker 3: This. 1087 01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,040 Speaker 1: I know I've said this about three times already. I'm 1088 01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:56,600 Speaker 1: gonna say it again, but I do think all the 1089 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,080 Speaker 1: time about like, uh, you know what if I just 1090 01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:01,439 Speaker 1: left my life behind and went to a foreign country, 1091 01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:07,559 Speaker 1: and it's awesome anytime you hear from people who did 1092 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:12,439 Speaker 1: that and it worked out for them. I love the 1093 01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:16,519 Speaker 1: thing between Dalton AA I hope I'm saying that right 1094 01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:22,320 Speaker 1: and Lola where she just went on Instagram did the 1095 01:09:22,640 --> 01:09:27,439 Speaker 1: the geo location thing, found Lola and they and now 1096 01:09:27,439 --> 01:09:31,880 Speaker 1: they're like good friends. This is That's the beautiful thing 1097 01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:33,719 Speaker 1: about the world we live in. I know that there's 1098 01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,840 Speaker 1: all the stuff about technology is evil and everybody's selling 1099 01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:40,680 Speaker 1: our you know, data to people to get us to 1100 01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:44,000 Speaker 1: buy uh, selfie sticks and whatnot. But this is one 1101 01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:49,360 Speaker 1: of those situations in which technology has has created like 1102 01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:58,280 Speaker 1: a beautiful real life friendship. I love that. I feel 1103 01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:02,439 Speaker 1: inspired by that call. You know, it's always it's it's 1104 01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:04,240 Speaker 1: great to get to talk to people who are who 1105 01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:08,320 Speaker 1: are living in other countries or who are from other countries. Uh, 1106 01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:16,439 Speaker 1: you know, brid broaden our perspectives a little bit. I liked. 1107 01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:19,160 Speaker 1: I liked. I think I think if there was anything 1108 01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:21,360 Speaker 1: we we talked to those guys for a pretty long time. 1109 01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:24,000 Speaker 1: I think if there was anything that I wanted to 1110 01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:25,880 Speaker 1: dive into that we didn't get a chance to dive 1111 01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:31,120 Speaker 1: into was like learning more about what Patty in Dalton 1112 01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:37,599 Speaker 1: Aya's life was like in America and maybe why they 1113 01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:39,840 Speaker 1: they a little bit more about why they felt the 1114 01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:43,960 Speaker 1: need to leave or what they were unhappy with. But yeah, 1115 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:45,240 Speaker 1: it was great talking to those guys. 1116 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:49,519 Speaker 7: Never beat goes on the line, making your phone calls 1117 01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:50,160 Speaker 7: every night. 1118 01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:52,519 Speaker 1: Everything goes to his I 1119 01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:54,679 Speaker 7: Was teaching you a loud in the mid of your life, 1120 01:10:55,080 --> 01:11:03,320 Speaker 7: but he's not really an expert.