Speaker 1: And I tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
Speaker 1: I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this,
Speaker 1: so I went and I auditioned for it, and when
Speaker 1: I booked it, I was shocked. She's made a huge
Speaker 1: splash in the fashion industry. Toy's Secret Angel Taylor.
Speaker 2: Him, let's talk about the grief of losing a friend.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at him and I'm asking him, like you,
Speaker 1: if you need to go, wait, please let me know.
Speaker 2: I will let you go. Hey, everyone, I've got some
Speaker 2: huge news to share with you. In the last ninety days,
Speaker 2: seventy nine point four percent of our audience came from
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Speaker 2: There's research that shows that if you want to create
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Speaker 3: Subscribe right now.
Speaker 1: The number one health and wellness.
Speaker 2: Podcast, Jay said, Jay Sheidy s set Hey everyone, welcome
Speaker 2: back to On Purpose, the number one health and Ononness
Speaker 2: podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one
Speaker 2: of you that come back every week to listen, learn
Speaker 2: and grow. Now you know, our mission here is to
Speaker 2: help the world, help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
Speaker 2: And the way we do that is by trying to
Speaker 2: introduce you to people who can help you foreseen heard
Speaker 2: and understood. And I want you to be able to
Speaker 2: relate to the experiences, the challenges, the journeys that our
Speaker 2: audience and our guests go on. And today I'm so excited,
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful, and I'm really honored to be having
Speaker 2: this conversation.
Speaker 3: I've been really looking forward to this.
Speaker 2: I've been speaking to so many friends who've been going
Speaker 2: through different challenges, and I really believe that this episode
Speaker 2: is going to be a powerful and empowering one for
Speaker 2: each and every one of you. Today's guest is Taylor Hill, supermodel,
Speaker 2: content creator, actor, and philanthropist. Taylor was discovered at the
Speaker 2: age of fourteen, and Taylor's worked with fashion houses and
Speaker 2: luxury brands around the world and grace the covers of
Speaker 2: many of the biggest fashion magazines, including Vogue and many
Speaker 2: many more. Taylor's life was forever changed when she became
Speaker 2: mom to her late labradoodle Tate. Their special bond together
Speaker 2: inspired Taylor to create Tit and Taylor, a rapidly growing
Speaker 2: media content platform and community for pets and their humans. Today,
Speaker 2: we dive into Tate and Taylor's story. Please welcome to
Speaker 2: the show, Taylor Hill. Hello, Taylor, thank you for being here.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: I'm so honestly grateful to have you here. And even
Speaker 2: the few moments we've probably spent ately about half an
Speaker 2: hour chatting, even before we started recording, and in that moment,
Speaker 2: I can already tell I completely am n sync with
Speaker 2: your energy, and oh thank it's been so wonderful spending
Speaker 2: this time with you.
Speaker 1: Already, I'm so excited. I'm also kind of nervous. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is only, I think, like my second podcast I've
Speaker 1: ever done. So I'm happy that, you know, I get
Speaker 1: to be here and I get to talk to you.
Speaker 1: You're amazing and I've obviously listened before, and it's a
Speaker 1: special it's a special listen, So thanks for letting me
Speaker 1: come and talk.
Speaker 2: No, well, thank you for trusting us, and thank you
Speaker 2: for being here. But let's dive straight into it. I
Speaker 2: want to ask you. I feel like you're someone who's
Speaker 2: had such an iconic career. You are extremely well known,
Speaker 2: You're brilliant and one of the best at what you
Speaker 2: do across the world, yet we may not know so
Speaker 2: much about you, and that I had so much curiosity
Speaker 2: when your name came up and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I know exactly what that is, but I want to learn,
Speaker 2: and so I want to start asking you. What would
Speaker 2: you say is your earliest childhood memory that you feel
Speaker 2: has defined who you are today.
Speaker 1: My first memory ever is my I think it was
Speaker 1: my third birthday party. So I was born in Chicago
Speaker 1: and I lived there until I was probably about five
Speaker 1: years old, and then I moved to Colorado, and that's
Speaker 1: like my home and where I am from in my head,
Speaker 1: because I don't really remember Chicago, but I remember being
Speaker 1: in our backyard there and we had this little red
Speaker 1: house and it was my birthday party and all of
Speaker 1: the kids in our neighborhood were over and we were
Speaker 1: having a party and I had a pink Barbie cake
Speaker 1: and I specifically remember the candle was Barbie like. It
Speaker 1: was a very intricate candle. And everyone's singing Happy Birthday,
Speaker 1: and then I'm supposed to blow out the candles and
Speaker 1: then my friend he blew the candles out before I could,
Speaker 1: and I got so upset, and I was very emotional
Speaker 1: and I was like kind of crying and I got
Speaker 1: so mad, and I was like, why would you do that?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I was supposed to do that. And
Speaker 1: then my mom's like, it's okay, we can you know,
Speaker 1: we'll light the candle again and then you can blow
Speaker 1: out the candle. And I was like, well, it's not
Speaker 1: the same. He took my wish like. I was heartbroken.
Speaker 1: And I think if that says anything about me, it's
Speaker 1: just that I'm very emotional and I just sometimes when
Speaker 1: people do things that aren't so nice to others, I
Speaker 1: sometimes don't understand. I'm like, why why did you do that?
Speaker 1: So that's one of my very first first memories. But
Speaker 1: I think something that kind of helped like maybe define
Speaker 1: who I was when from a child I would say
Speaker 1: is sports. I was a gymnast from when I was nine,
Speaker 1: I did ballet from when I was six, and then
Speaker 1: I grew up snowboarding, and I think for me being
Speaker 1: athletic and being active really helped shape who I am
Speaker 1: because I've been you know, I've been modeling for fourteen years.
Speaker 1: I was scouted at fourteen. And I love my job
Speaker 1: and I love working and I have such a passion
Speaker 1: and a drive for it. And I think I have
Speaker 1: such a drive because of being in sports my whole
Speaker 1: life and honestly being a gymnast. Not a very good gymnast,
Speaker 1: but I loved it. I had so much fun doing it,
Speaker 1: even though I wasn't. My mom's like this girl, she's
Speaker 1: not going to the Olympics. That was understood, but you know,
Speaker 1: she encouraged me to do it anyway, and she knew
Speaker 1: I had fun. And you know, it gives you sort
Speaker 1: of this sense of structure, and you know, healthy competition
Speaker 1: is always a little bit nice. And I love the
Speaker 1: sport of gymnastics because it's very demanding in a sense
Speaker 1: and it challenges you to always be better.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: The sort of motto of gymnastics, or what my perception
Speaker 1: of it was from doing is, you know, strive to
Speaker 1: be better, strive for perfection, perfect ten, all that stuff.
Speaker 1: You'll never get there. You'll never both. Some people do,
Speaker 1: but I was never going to be a perfect ten
Speaker 1: let's be hones. But you know, having the drive to
Speaker 1: like always do better always, you know, perfect this trick,
Speaker 1: perfect that flip, do this, do that, and you know,
Speaker 1: push myself it was, and push myself in something I
Speaker 1: enjoyed doing kind of gave me the I have a
Speaker 1: similar headspace and my modeling career just because I love
Speaker 1: doing it and I love my job and I just
Speaker 1: want to, like, I just want to keep doing it,
Speaker 1: you know. So I think that's two things about me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are great answers. Are you do you still
Speaker 2: know the person who blew that candle out?
Speaker 1: I do, Yes, I do. I I hadn't seen I
Speaker 1: haven't seen him in forever. But I did go back
Speaker 1: home to my where I was born a couple times,
Speaker 1: like throughout my childhood. My my godparents and my my
Speaker 1: mom and dad's best friends. They still lived there and
Speaker 1: their children were our childhood best friends. So we would
Speaker 1: spend summers together and everything, and some summers I would
Speaker 1: go back to Chicago and like see them and all that,
Speaker 1: and see the kids in the neighborhood. So I did
Speaker 1: see this boy multiple times, and he was a really
Speaker 1: good friend. It was very innocent. You know, we were
Speaker 1: only maybe three years old, so he didn't know what
Speaker 1: he was doing either, But I just didn't understand.
Speaker 2: Does he realize now what a big moment?
Speaker 1: He probably doesn't even remember that he did that, but
Speaker 1: I do, yea, And he probably doesn't even know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about him. But I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: his name before.
Speaker 2: Well, how was that like when the Bobbie movie came out?
Speaker 2: Was that like as Bobby always remained idol in your
Speaker 2: life since that day?
Speaker 3: Or not? Really?
Speaker 1: You know, I loved I loved Barbie. I have two sisters,
Speaker 1: and I actually have three siblings, So I have an
Speaker 1: older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother. And
Speaker 1: we're all very close in age. We're all about, you know,
Speaker 1: roughly one year apart from each other. So growing up,
Speaker 1: we loved playing dress up. We loved Barbie, We loved toys.
Speaker 1: We loved you know, Polly Pockets, we loved Little My
Speaker 1: Little Pet Shop. You know, we had all of those things.
Speaker 1: We loved all of that. And I loved the Barbie movie.
Speaker 1: I thought it was great, and I thought it was
Speaker 1: really profound, and it touched on a lot of things
Speaker 1: in a really interesting and kind of a lighthearted way.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I had a childhood connection to Barbie for sure,
Speaker 1: So I loved her. And then the candle was blown out.
Speaker 1: I was I was like, how could you do that?
Speaker 2: I can see it still affects you still. What was
Speaker 2: it like, you said, of course you got scouted at fourteen?
Speaker 2: What was it like? You have siblings? I'm assuming they
Speaker 2: weren't all working at fourteen, and so when you start
Speaker 2: working at fourteen, which is a very young age, First
Speaker 2: of all, what does working at fourteen as a model
Speaker 2: look like? Like? What are the hours, what are the commitments?
Speaker 2: Do you drop out of school? And then how do
Speaker 2: your siblings react to it?
Speaker 3: How do your parents react to it? Like what does
Speaker 3: it look like?
Speaker 2: Because I feel, yeah, they're not working, they're not getting paid,
Speaker 2: they're not traveling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was interesting. I mean, so my mom was
Speaker 1: a hairdresser, so she worked in a salon and cut hair,
Speaker 1: and you know, after having all four of us, she
Speaker 1: obviously was like, I can't stand on my feet all
Speaker 1: day and take care of four young children under the
Speaker 1: age of five, So we're not going to do that anymore.
Speaker 1: And she became a stay at home mother, which I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful to have had my mom. And that's a
Speaker 1: that's a job, it's work, and she was amazing at it.
Speaker 1: And you know, when I was scouted and I started
Speaker 1: traveling and you know, working as a model, it meant that,
Speaker 1: you know, I went to New York, I signed with
Speaker 1: IMG when I was fourteen, and from there I went everywhere.
Speaker 1: You know, I traveled the world that you know, fourteen
Speaker 1: years old, and my mom came with me everywhere I went.
Speaker 1: You know, I did Paris Fashion Weeks, I did New
Speaker 1: York Fashion Week. I went to Australia and I lived
Speaker 1: there for a month or two. You know, milan all
Speaker 1: those spaces, and she came with me everywhere. And I
Speaker 1: definitely wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for
Speaker 1: my mom and her support. And I know it was
Speaker 1: a difficult thing for even her to navigate. She had
Speaker 1: three other children at home, and you know, we were
Speaker 1: all trying to figure out how we were going to
Speaker 1: do this. My grandpa was a huge hell he you know,
Speaker 1: would come with me places as well, and he would
Speaker 1: live with me places. He lived with me in La
Speaker 1: for a bit. He traveled with me. And then when
Speaker 1: my older sister was eighteen. She would travel with me
Speaker 1: and she would live with me, which wasn't much help
Speaker 1: because she was eighteen and I was seventeen, so you
Speaker 1: can imagine how fun that was for us to do.
Speaker 1: But you know, my mom always wanted to make sure
Speaker 1: I had somebody with me who was just like another
Speaker 1: set of eyes making sure I was good and I,
Speaker 1: you know, I I could take care of myself, and
Speaker 1: she made sure to teach me how to you know,
Speaker 1: read signs in an airport and this is what this means,
Speaker 1: this is how you get to your gate, and this
Speaker 1: is how you do this, and you know, don't take
Speaker 1: a car ride from a stranger, you know. So she
Speaker 1: was really really good at making sure I was able
Speaker 1: to do all of that. And then my siblings, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it was really we just didn't know. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know, and I think
Speaker 1: we didn't really know any better than it better. And
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, well, this is Taylor's doing this,
Speaker 1: so this is what she does now. And they were
Speaker 1: you know, nothing changed I think for them because they
Speaker 1: didn't never see me differently. They were just like, well,
Speaker 1: Taylor goes to work instead of goes to school, so whatever,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think because we were all a
Speaker 1: similar age, they did have an understanding of what I
Speaker 1: was doing.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's not like they were you know, really young and
Speaker 1: didn't get it or much older than me and didn't
Speaker 1: understand why I didn't want to go to school or
Speaker 1: didn't go back to college and stuff. They were kind
Speaker 1: of you know, accepting of it. And my older sister
Speaker 1: now is a photographer and a content creator herself, so
Speaker 1: she really got it. You know, she gets it, and
Speaker 1: she saw what I wanted to do, and you know
Speaker 1: that I loved what I was doing, so she was
Speaker 1: really helpful and supportive of that. So yeah, it was
Speaker 1: It was definitely interesting. I look back on it and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, wow, how did we do that? I
Speaker 1: don't know, we just kind of did it. You know.
Speaker 3: At the time. Was it exciting or was it scary? Well?
Speaker 3: What pots were exciting and what pots were scary?
Speaker 1: I was really excited just because I I wasn't very
Speaker 1: good at school and I didn't love being in school.
Speaker 1: I was really distracted, daydreaming, kind of didn't pay attention
Speaker 1: very well. I didn't learn things very easily, not very
Speaker 1: good at math, and I remember the first time being
Speaker 1: on a set and feeling so excited because I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can do this instead. And once
Speaker 1: I started booking more and more jobs in school became
Speaker 1: more and more difficult to keep up with. You know,
Speaker 1: we looked into so many different options. I did do
Speaker 1: homeschooling for a little bit, and ultimately that was still
Speaker 1: really difficult based off of how much I was working,
Speaker 1: because you know, you have to put in at least
Speaker 1: five to six hours a day even online school, you know,
Speaker 1: because you have to commit an hour or so for
Speaker 1: each class. I was in different time zones, getting one
Speaker 1: on one time with my teachers to explain something to me.
Speaker 1: It was very difficult. So, you know, I tried to
Speaker 1: go back to regular high school, but you know, in
Speaker 1: Colorado they don't have these child entertainment laws like they
Speaker 1: do in California. There was no structure for me to
Speaker 1: be able to do both. So ultimately I dropped out
Speaker 1: of high school and I got my GED instead, and
Speaker 1: I just I left school totally at fifteen and started
Speaker 1: full time modeling at fifteen. And to me, it was
Speaker 1: really exciting because I felt like I all I would
Speaker 1: think about while I was in school, was I can't
Speaker 1: wait to get out of here. Stay in school, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Don't do what I do. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I do value school. I think education
Speaker 1: is really important, but I do think that it's not
Speaker 1: always for everyone, and people learn differently. And I feel
Speaker 1: like I went to sort of a school of life.
Speaker 1: I guess you could say I kind of learned by
Speaker 1: doing and by seeing the world. So I have a
Speaker 1: different education than what academia maybe teaches you. So I
Speaker 1: am grateful that I got to experience some school of
Speaker 1: like a normal childhood to an extent until about fifteen.
Speaker 1: But I'm grateful I started, I left, and I was
Speaker 1: done and doing what I was doing. By fifteen, I
Speaker 1: felt like, Okay, this is it, this is what I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be doing. So I was just ecstatic. I
Speaker 1: was just I was where I was meant to be.
Speaker 2: You know, it's amazing hearing your passion in drive, Like
Speaker 2: after all these years. You said you've been modeling for
Speaker 2: fourteen years, and I can feel like it's still this
Speaker 2: energizing feeling. What was that transition like from that to
Speaker 2: becoming a Victoria's Secret model, Like what is that journey? Like?
Speaker 3: Like what is that arc? Like?
Speaker 2: Like how hard is it to move from Paris Fashion
Speaker 2: Week and New York Fashion Week and doing runways and
Speaker 2: then going to actually be a Victoria's Secret model.
Speaker 1: At the time, it was really interesting because you know,
Speaker 1: at that time, Victoria's Secret was the end of all,
Speaker 1: be all, you know what I mean. It was not
Speaker 1: to everyone, but to a lot of models it was,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you know the Victoria's Secret Fashion show.
Speaker 1: It gave you more of a mainstream name. I guess
Speaker 1: you were more I guess in the street, the pulse
Speaker 1: of pop culture. I guess if you were a Victoria's
Speaker 1: Secret model. Some of the most famous models in the
Speaker 1: world were victoria Secret models, you know. You know. Giselle
Speaker 1: Bunchin was like one of my favorites and I love
Speaker 1: her and look up to her. She's why I went
Speaker 1: to IMG, because I was like, just how much IMG
Speaker 1: at the time she was. I don't think she still is,
Speaker 1: but when I signed with them, she was still with them,
Speaker 1: so I was like, I want to be where she is.
Speaker 1: And Carly Klauss is with IMG, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: be where she was, so I I just I feel
Speaker 1: like when I went from doing you know, fashion and
Speaker 1: more commercial brands, like I did shoot a lot of
Speaker 1: for H and M and Forever twenty one and some
Speaker 1: like some of these younger maybe fashion lines that were
Speaker 1: more for you know, teenagers like myself. So I did
Speaker 1: work a lot with brands like that, and then kind
Speaker 1: of when I turned eighteen, I was switching into more
Speaker 1: of you know, adult modeling, which is so crazy because
Speaker 1: I was still so young eighteen year old, and I
Speaker 1: tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show just because,
Speaker 1: you know, because why not everybody wants to do it.
Speaker 1: I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this,
Speaker 1: so I went and I auditioned for it, and when
Speaker 1: I booked it, I was shocked because I really didn't
Speaker 1: think that I would get it on the first time
Speaker 1: and on the first audition, because so many people go
Speaker 1: back multiple multiple times. But probably because I'd had you know,
Speaker 1: a fashion career and had been on runways since I
Speaker 1: was fourteen, I was able to sort of be in
Speaker 1: the room and kind of maybe know a little bit
Speaker 1: more about what was happening, Whereas I feel like some
Speaker 1: girls start modeling at eighteen sixteen, eighteen, you know, so
Speaker 1: they're still new and newer. And I, even though I
Speaker 1: was still really young, I had been working for four years.
Speaker 1: So I felt ready for it and I was excited
Speaker 1: for it. And when I booked it, I was shocked
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't believe I'm here right
Speaker 1: now in a way, this is happening.
Speaker 2: Like what?
Speaker 1: So that was really scary? Was it was booking it?
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, oh God, Okay, all right, this
Speaker 1: is happening. But it was an amazing thing for my career,
Speaker 1: and I'm really grateful for it. And I'm grateful, you
Speaker 1: know that I got to do that because I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be sitting here if I hadn't, you know. So I'm
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for it for sure. I keep saying that
Speaker 1: I am, you know.
Speaker 3: I believe it.
Speaker 2: How many steps was that audition process? Like what does
Speaker 2: that look like in terms of getting there?
Speaker 3: Well? And what is it like?
Speaker 1: Like what do you think? I mean? It was like
Speaker 1: ten years ago now, so I have to try and
Speaker 1: remember what I did. But I'm pretty sure what happened
Speaker 1: was I So I knew the casting director who was
Speaker 1: casting for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. He was casting
Speaker 1: some of the other shows that I'd walked in before,
Speaker 1: like Michael Corre's and you know, a couple of the
Speaker 1: other New York shows as well as shows in Milan
Speaker 1: in Paris, so I was familiar with him. And for
Speaker 1: the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you go to a pre
Speaker 1: casting with him and his casting team, and you know,
Speaker 1: you do the walk, they record you, they film me,
Speaker 1: They ask you questions, where are you from, how old
Speaker 1: are you, what agency are you with, So it's just
Speaker 1: a little bit of your personality or the way you
Speaker 1: talk on video, and then they take your picture and
Speaker 1: then I guess they probably take it back to the
Speaker 1: Victoria's Secret internal casting team that also does showcasting. Because
Speaker 1: when you get into the main room at the Victoria's
Speaker 1: Secret headquarters, there's five or six people at a table
Speaker 1: in front of you, and then five or six people
Speaker 1: behind them sitting in chairs, and they all have notepads,
Speaker 1: and you know, there's a big camera and they're filming you,
Speaker 1: and you know, you do the whole like walk thing,
Speaker 1: and they asked you to do it again. You do that.
Speaker 1: So I did a pre casting with the casting director directly,
Speaker 1: and then I went back in for a callback, which
Speaker 1: was the main casting. So they had probably seen my
Speaker 1: tape and seen my pre casting video and thought, okay,
Speaker 1: let's request her for our main casting. So I went
Speaker 1: into that, and then you know, sometimes there's another one
Speaker 1: and there's another callback, and you know, another casting you
Speaker 1: have to do. But I was working in LA, So
Speaker 1: I went to my casting and got on a flight
Speaker 1: and landed in LA and got a call that I
Speaker 1: booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. So that's what I did.
Speaker 1: That's how it happened to me.
Speaker 3: Useful to know.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's like we need a picture in right, like,
Speaker 2: because if you've never done it, you just don't know
Speaker 2: what the process looks like. And you mentioned something that
Speaker 2: I've heard a lot of models talk about how they
Speaker 2: went from like teen modeling to adult modeling and also
Speaker 2: when you're still a teen, and like, how was that
Speaker 2: process for you, because I've heard other people describe it
Speaker 2: as like it was uncomfortable where certain poses or certain
Speaker 2: clothes or whatever. It was like I've never worn something
Speaker 2: like this, or did you feel that or was it
Speaker 2: not like that for you?
Speaker 3: Was it just kind of like you enjoyed it was fun?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't I didn't feel like that because I
Speaker 1: I was just happy to be there. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be here. Also, I love it,
Speaker 1: like I love I loved playing dress up when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, and I'd do it for a living,
Speaker 1: So like, how can I not be just having the
Speaker 1: best time ever, you know, trying on all these clothes,
Speaker 1: doing all these things. Also I did dance. Wasn't very
Speaker 1: good at it, but I loved it, and I loved dancing,
Speaker 1: and I loved gymnastics and I love moving. And you know,
Speaker 1: if you're on the right set and you have the
Speaker 1: right team around you, and you know a lot of
Speaker 1: the Victoria's Secret team from that time, I've known them
Speaker 1: for a really long time, and I have worked with
Speaker 1: a lot of the photographers in the past, and you know,
Speaker 1: it felt like a safe space. And my memory and
Speaker 1: my interpretation of that environment was that I was safe.
Speaker 1: So I felt comfortable and I was just like, this
Speaker 1: is what we're doing now, and I had the best
Speaker 1: time doing it. So for me, I never felt afraid
Speaker 1: to do anything. So I just was so excited, I guess,
Speaker 1: or maybe I was just young. I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe A bit of both, you know.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I never felt I never I
Speaker 1: know some people do feel that, and that's something I
Speaker 1: have felt like that for sure, definitely, but maybe not
Speaker 1: in those instances and maybe not at that time, just
Speaker 1: because a combination of you know, excitement and you know, youth,
Speaker 1: never having that experience before, being excited to be there,
Speaker 1: so it kind of wiped away the fear a little bit.
Speaker 1: And maybe I was a little delusional and kind of
Speaker 1: was like, whoa, this is so cool. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like rose colored glasses a little bit. But I've been
Speaker 1: in some scenarios where I'm like, yeah, maybe not, so, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, no, I think. I mean I love hearing that.
Speaker 2: I think for me, I mean I moved to La
Speaker 2: much later in life, but even for me, like as
Speaker 2: soon as I came to the United States, to me,
Speaker 2: being in the US is like living in a movie
Speaker 2: because we grew up watching American television in London, yep.
Speaker 2: And so when I first landed in New York, I
Speaker 2: visited maybe once or twice in my teens with family,
Speaker 2: but I remember moving in like even when I saw
Speaker 2: like a yellow school bus or I saw like a
Speaker 2: cop car or NYPD or whatever. Like to me, it's
Speaker 2: like I've only ever seen that in a TV show
Speaker 2: or a movie, and so it's really fascinating. And then
Speaker 2: you see the Empire state. And then when I moved
Speaker 2: to LA it was the same thing. It was Wait
Speaker 2: a minute. Even now, when I'm driving down the street
Speaker 2: and there's palm trees on either side, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 2: on vacation, because yeah, in my head, like that's such
Speaker 2: a it's such an alien experience having grown up in
Speaker 2: London that you know, living in LA So I kind
Speaker 2: of have some of that youthful enthusiasm around some of
Speaker 2: these things too, because it reminds me of a time
Speaker 2: when I used to watch TV religiously and what I
Speaker 2: grew up on. So I can resonate with that feeling.
Speaker 2: Whereas someone will always be like, oh do anything La
Speaker 2: is like this or New York's like this. I'm like,
Speaker 2: to me, it just reminds me of what I saw.
Speaker 1: In the movies, like, Wow, I can't live I get
Speaker 1: to be here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: I can't believe. I never imagined a million years that
Speaker 2: my life would look this way, yea. And so I'm
Speaker 2: just taking it all in as opposed to seeing gaps
Speaker 2: and holds in it or whatever.
Speaker 3: Else you may.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's days where I see gaps and holes, but
Speaker 1: my overarching goal and perspective is to be I'm in awe,
Speaker 1: you know, and I am still in awe, and I
Speaker 1: can't believe I'm even sitting here right now. I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. So you know, it's just I definitely
Speaker 1: that's just. I think my natural sort of energy and
Speaker 1: where I sit with things is just wow, I'm here, WHOA?
Speaker 1: How do I get here? And you know, like all
Speaker 1: humans do, every day is different. So there's definitely times
Speaker 1: where I'm just like, oh, whoa this is? You know,
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I don't like this feeling or
Speaker 1: what's happening here and what's going on there. So there's
Speaker 1: definitely both, Like I don't want, you know, the perception
Speaker 1: of me to feel like she just whatever, she has
Speaker 1: no idea what's going on, She's in a bubble, and
Speaker 1: I'm just no. I just feel. I just feel grateful,
Speaker 1: And I think the most important emotion for me to
Speaker 1: feel daily is gratitude. So just I try to remind
Speaker 1: myself where I'm at and where I came from and
Speaker 1: just be grateful to be here. So that's my genuine
Speaker 1: consensus on things.
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, it's Jay here. My wife and I have
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Speaker 2: Drinkjuni dot com and find Juni at a Target near you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You obviously have a hard work ethic and a drive,
Speaker 2: which is what you're talked about with sports and that discipline.
Speaker 2: Walk us through the discipline of being a Victoria Secret model.
Speaker 2: Like to die at the workout, the plan the day,
Speaker 2: like the hour?
Speaker 3: What does that look like?
Speaker 2: Because I think often again that's another thing you don't
Speaker 2: ever see. Yeah, so you don't really know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, It's so when I first started doing Victoria's Secret,
Speaker 1: I was very young, and I was very lucky because
Speaker 1: I didn't have to work out that hard and I
Speaker 1: you know, didn't have to die it because I was
Speaker 1: eighteen and you know, six feet tall, So you know,
Speaker 1: you can imagine how lucky I was in terms of
Speaker 1: that sort of stuff. But then obviously as I was
Speaker 1: starting to grow up and mature as a woman in
Speaker 1: that arena, I did have to start working out. You know,
Speaker 1: there was an air there was a time where I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well, if I want to be in
Speaker 1: the best shape of my life for this one really
Speaker 1: important day, then I'm going to take it. I'm going
Speaker 1: to step it up a notch. So there was some preparation.
Speaker 1: Probably when I was like twenty one to twenty two,
Speaker 1: I started you know, amping it up in terms of
Speaker 1: like the exercise and diet and stuff like that when
Speaker 1: we were training for the show. But you know, there
Speaker 1: was such a Sometimes there's such a negative connotation in
Speaker 1: terms of talking about those things because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people have maybe an unhealthy perspective of it
Speaker 1: because Victoria's Secret wasn't inclusive and it wasn't a welcome
Speaker 1: space for everybody. You know, it was welcome for you know,
Speaker 1: women who were six feet tall and naturally slim, and
Speaker 1: you know, and then they were really fit on top
Speaker 1: of that. So if you're an outsider looking in, it
Speaker 1: looks like a really well not everybody looks like that.
Speaker 1: And I don't see myself there, yeah, fair enough. Sometimes
Speaker 1: even I didn't see myself there, you know, So I
Speaker 1: had to train hard to get there. But you know,
Speaker 1: I always tried to be as healthy as I could
Speaker 1: with it, and you know, keep a positive outlook on
Speaker 1: it for me personally in my journey. And like how
Speaker 1: I went about training for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show,
Speaker 1: I sort of looked at it like maybe an athlete would.
Speaker 1: I'm not an athlete obviously, but you know, the level
Speaker 1: of training that I would do and the diets I
Speaker 1: would be on. If a footballer came in and you know,
Speaker 1: started talking about his diet, people would accept it, I think,
Speaker 1: because he is an athlete. But you know, if I
Speaker 1: come in and say how I was working out and
Speaker 1: what I was eating, because I'm a six foot tall,
Speaker 1: naturally slim woman, I think it could be you know,
Speaker 1: taken negatively and miscan strewed. But I just want to
Speaker 1: assure people that you know, I did do it healthy,
Speaker 1: like I was very healthy when I was doing it.
Speaker 1: This is my natural physique. I know that everybody doesn't
Speaker 1: look like this, and not everybody can relate to that.
Speaker 1: And that's I hear you, and I see you, and
Speaker 1: I hope you. You know, don't take anything that I
Speaker 1: say and misinterpret it and say like to look like her,
Speaker 1: I have to do this. No, don't do that. You know,
Speaker 1: do what you need to do and for you and
Speaker 1: your body. And when I was training for that, I
Speaker 1: did what I needed to do for my body. So
Speaker 1: I can get into that. I did a lot of
Speaker 1: like hit cardio training. So I had a personal trainer
Speaker 1: who's amazing, Christina. She's near and dear to my heart.
Speaker 1: She's so intelligent. She has, you know, a nutrition background
Speaker 1: as well, so she was making sure that I was
Speaker 1: eating the amount of food I should be eating for
Speaker 1: the exercise that I was doing. And so we sort
Speaker 1: of did like a mix of things. It was weightlifting.
Speaker 1: I love weightlifting. It's really fun. I also I'm a
Speaker 1: crazy person, like I love exercise. I love fitness. I
Speaker 1: like working out it's it's really it's good for my
Speaker 1: mental health. When I work out. I work out because
Speaker 1: I want to do it for my mind, not for
Speaker 1: how my body looks. So but for the Victoria's Secret
Speaker 1: Fashion job, obviously, I was training for a reason, so
Speaker 1: I did care about you know, muscle definition and all
Speaker 1: that fun stuff. So we did like you know, weight training, weightlifting.
Speaker 1: You know, it would be like interval like we would
Speaker 1: you know, sprint on a treadmill and then hold a
Speaker 1: plank kind of stuff like that. And I really liked
Speaker 1: that type of workout because it was it was you know,
Speaker 1: high energy and going from one thing to the next thing,
Speaker 1: and it was challenging, and it kind of sort of
Speaker 1: reminded me of maybe my gymnastics background and the sports
Speaker 1: I'd done before, where they're a little bit more dynamic
Speaker 1: and you're moving around a lot. And then you know,
Speaker 1: for diet, I would eat pretty healthy just I would
Speaker 1: eat like I would make sure I was gluten free though,
Speaker 1: just because I think sometimes gluten can respond in your
Speaker 1: body in a negative way. So something I know some
Speaker 1: people our gluten free around the VS Show. Be gluten
Speaker 1: free for about a month, no alcohol for about a month,
Speaker 1: and a half or so leading up to the show day,
Speaker 1: just because alcohol is never going to help you if
Speaker 1: you're trying to, like, you know, gain muscle weight. So
Speaker 1: that was my sort of goal, was muscle, not never
Speaker 1: managing or washing my weight. It was more just about,
Speaker 1: you know, making sure I was eating lean proteins. I
Speaker 1: had like protein shakes. In the morning. I would have
Speaker 1: a gluten free bagel. I would have eggs, vegetables. I
Speaker 1: ate chicken, breast, ate sweet potato, I ate sushi, rice fish,
Speaker 1: I ate all kinds of things like that, and making
Speaker 1: sure that it was enough based off of what the
Speaker 1: kind of exercise I was doing. So the trainer that
Speaker 1: would work with me on my fitness routine, she also
Speaker 1: worked with me on the food I was consuming. Hey,
Speaker 1: need to make sure you're consuming before you see me.
Speaker 1: You need to eat this amount and then we come
Speaker 1: and we're going to work out and we're going to
Speaker 1: do this, and then you go home and you have
Speaker 1: this protein shake, so we know you're getting the right
Speaker 1: nutrients that you need to fuel your body. So yeah, hopefully.
Speaker 2: Very Yeah, that was very in depth. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 2: And I asked Taylor, I genuinely asked because I do
Speaker 2: think it's an interesting thing around the discipline, and that's
Speaker 2: why I asked him from that perspective, because to me,
Speaker 2: the discipline, the work ethic, the you know, the focus,
Speaker 2: and I'm so happy that it was a healthy journey
Speaker 2: for you. And I think we're taking into account the
Speaker 2: fact that it may not be a healthy journey for everyone,
Speaker 2: and we recognized that that it can cause challenges for others.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I know that time too. It was
Speaker 1: difficult for so many for women watching, and I know
Speaker 1: like the expectation that was put on women to look
Speaker 1: a certain way to I never want to feel like
Speaker 1: maybe I was a part of it and perpetuating that
Speaker 1: just because of the way it was being presented, maybe
Speaker 1: that I was just like I was just happy to
Speaker 1: be here again. I was just like, well, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to get to be here. But I know what
Speaker 1: it meant to society. I know what people perceived it
Speaker 1: as for sure. So I do take that into account
Speaker 1: and I know that's it's a lot, and I hope
Speaker 1: people can maybe listen to me in my perspective and know,
Speaker 1: like I was trying to be I was really healthy
Speaker 1: in the way that I was trying to do this
Speaker 1: and go about this, and I never want to like
Speaker 1: perpetuate that somebody should do something or you know, work
Speaker 1: out a certain way to look like a Victoria's Secret model,
Speaker 1: because you know that's not fair and not everybody looks
Speaker 1: like used to look like that. That's not what's beautiful.
Speaker 1: You know, Beauty is so much more than what people
Speaker 1: were trying to make us believe it was at that time.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to put that.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you careful as you think you made a
Speaker 2: really interesting point, though. I think what's interesting. For example,
Speaker 2: like I love watching basketball.
Speaker 3: I am I have.
Speaker 2: Nowhere near the physique of any basketball player on the planet.
Speaker 2: There's no one in my size who plays basketball in
Speaker 2: high physique, whatever else it may be. And if you
Speaker 2: saw I don't play basketball, but if I was to
Speaker 2: try and play basketball when I was younger, I was
Speaker 2: great at three pointer because I didn't need to be
Speaker 2: anyone or whatever. But it's I would never be expected
Speaker 2: to do what.
Speaker 3: Someone does on the court.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting how the industry is then projected onto
Speaker 2: people thinking they have to be that, whereas I can
Speaker 2: watch basketball knowing I never have to be that. And
Speaker 2: I think that's the part which is so interesting that
Speaker 2: it's almost like a interesting pressure that if it becomes
Speaker 2: about beauty, it sets an unfair standard. But if it's
Speaker 2: about sports, like you just said, in one sense, you
Speaker 2: were training yourself like an athlete. Yeah, but we know
Speaker 2: we I know I can't be Tom Brady or I
Speaker 2: know I can't be Lebron James neither.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I'm okay, you can't be Adriana Lima.
Speaker 1: And because that woman was amazing and Giselle, I mean,
Speaker 1: they they trained so much harder than even me. I
Speaker 1: did my best, but you know, I did what I
Speaker 1: knew I was comfortable and able and capable of doing.
Speaker 1: But they are them, and they're their own person and
Speaker 1: they trained in their own way, and I did it
Speaker 1: my way too.
Speaker 2: So yeah, no, no, no, And I hope anyone who's listening,
Speaker 2: like the reason why I wanted to open up that
Speaker 2: conversation is because it's interesting to hear from someone who
Speaker 2: just loves what they do, it's excited about it. And
Speaker 2: then naturally there's this bigger thing going on in society
Speaker 2: and culture and industry, and it's like you might just
Speaker 2: be doing your thing and not know at a time
Speaker 2: when you know, you don't realize it. How did you
Speaker 2: feel about when it stopped? And now, of course we
Speaker 2: know it's coming back. Yeah, the plan iss to be
Speaker 2: more inclusive.
Speaker 1: I'm really glad that it's coming back in a different
Speaker 1: way and from a different lens and a different perspective,
Speaker 1: because I think, you know, I'm I'm so happy I
Speaker 1: still work with Victoria's Secret and I'm you know, I've
Speaker 1: been a part of the brand for ten years and
Speaker 1: I've seen the shift that they've made and the changes
Speaker 1: that they're trying to make, and it's to me, it's
Speaker 1: a little relaxing, you know, a bit of a breath
Speaker 1: of fresh air, because now I am at a different
Speaker 1: phase in my life where, you know, maybe I don't
Speaker 1: want to work out like that anymore, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. When I was younger, and you know, it
Speaker 1: was exciting to do so then sure I could, definitely,
Speaker 1: I was, let's do this, But you know, ten years
Speaker 1: later and also I haven't don that show, and how
Speaker 1: many years now, how long has it been since the
Speaker 1: last one, you know, so five years maybe, maybe four,
Speaker 1: maybe more, I don't know, you know, I feel when
Speaker 1: it comes back I am excited that it's going to
Speaker 1: be so so different, but also I hope that we
Speaker 1: can still maintain some of the fund some of the
Speaker 1: glamor some of the beauty, because I think reclaiming it
Speaker 1: for ourselves as women is really important, because you know,
Speaker 1: if you want to feel sexy and you want to
Speaker 1: be sexy, I don't think there's anything wrong with that,
Speaker 1: but you want to do it for yourself, not for
Speaker 1: not for the objectification of what men want, you know, so,
Speaker 1: and I think that's the difference now, and I think,
Speaker 1: you know that's definitely the goal with the Victoria's Secret
Speaker 1: Fashion Show coming back is to make sure that women
Speaker 1: are doing it. You know, we're comfortable. They asked me,
Speaker 1: you know what wings would you want to wear? And
Speaker 1: are you excited about doing this? And you know, what
Speaker 1: do you want to see when the show comes back?
Speaker 1: And I really appreciate that, you know, I value that
Speaker 1: they're asking how I feel and you know what I
Speaker 1: would like to see as a woman doing it, as
Speaker 1: a woman who's done it before, and you know, we'll
Speaker 1: probably do it again. So I'm just I'm excited that
Speaker 1: it's going to be very different, and I hope that
Speaker 1: it can be perceived in a way that's you know,
Speaker 1: not setting an unrealistic beauty standard, because that's what it
Speaker 1: one hundred percent what it was. And you know, maybe
Speaker 1: I was maybe some of that like expectation was put
Speaker 1: on me, but I didn't realize it at the time
Speaker 1: because I was so young, you know, I didn't. You
Speaker 1: don't again, you don't know what you don't know. And
Speaker 1: now that I'm twenty eight, you know, ten years later
Speaker 1: from my first show, if I look back on my
Speaker 1: first show, it's kind of like, I'm sure so many
Speaker 1: women who were at that show felt such an intense
Speaker 1: pressure to look a certain way and work out a
Speaker 1: certain way, and that's probably why some people had an
Speaker 1: unhealthy relationship with it. And maybe just the timing of
Speaker 1: my age and where I was at and where my
Speaker 1: headspace was that I got really lucky that I didn't
Speaker 1: feel any of those things. But that doesn't mean it
Speaker 1: still wasn't happening for other people, and that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that it didn't make society or other women watching it
Speaker 1: feel that way. So like, you know, I just I
Speaker 1: hope that, well, yeah, there's definitely both. They could both
Speaker 1: sit with sit with me, so everyone.
Speaker 2: Who's listening to watching. I can definitely, I definitely hear
Speaker 2: what you're saying, and I can see how much of it.
Speaker 2: It's such a complicated it's sosplex layered topic. When it's
Speaker 2: personal but collective.
Speaker 1: It's hard to kind of verbalize and talk about something
Speaker 1: because it is very complex. So how do I put
Speaker 1: that into words? But I do see both, and they
Speaker 1: it's weird two things can be true at the same time,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Sometimes emotions are parallel and
Speaker 1: they're really just happening. On's happening here and once it's
Speaker 1: also happening and you're going on the same path and
Speaker 1: you're going to the same place, and you're feeling two
Speaker 1: different things at the exact same time. So I look
Speaker 1: back on it and I have new emotions that sit
Speaker 1: alongside the old ones and the joy and like the
Speaker 1: wow that I felt there, And I can see how
Speaker 1: everything happened, and I can see the heaviness, and I
Speaker 1: can understand, like I see where maybe by me talking
Speaker 1: so positively about it makes other people feel a negative
Speaker 1: way Like I I would never want to make somebody
Speaker 1: feel like that, So I have to acknowledge that and
Speaker 1: be like Okay, I know I see now like we've
Speaker 1: we were like we were the early two thousands, we
Speaker 1: were in this bubble of this thing and it popped,
Speaker 1: and now we can see clearly and I see it,
Speaker 1: so I get it. But you know, also, if I'm
Speaker 1: going to talk about my personal experience while I was
Speaker 1: in it, it was I did have a great time,
Speaker 1: and I I personally went about it and what I
Speaker 1: feel like was as healthy as I could possibly be. Like,
Speaker 1: trust me, I was eating, I was working out, I
Speaker 1: was doing I was doing all the things like I
Speaker 1: should be doing to make sure that I'm not, you know,
Speaker 1: being unhealthy and having like a negative thing that was
Speaker 1: happening in my mind and my body.
Speaker 2: So well, I really appreciate that kind of the way
Speaker 2: you've presented that because I think there's so much truth
Speaker 2: to it, and I think if anything helped just become
Speaker 2: more aware of Hey, let's try and be aware of bubbles.
Speaker 2: But by the nature of a bubble, you're not aware
Speaker 2: of it until it pops, And so when it pops,
Speaker 2: then we all become aware of it. And then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, so it's almost like we've got to give,
Speaker 2: We've got to give ourselves grace. We've got to give
Speaker 2: others grace. We've got to give everyone time and space
Speaker 2: to kind of understand and grow and rise together. Because
Speaker 2: and this doesn't just apply to the beauty industry or
Speaker 2: the modeling industry. This applies to so many industries across
Speaker 2: the world where I think there's a need for collective
Speaker 2: grace on both sides and then and then rising together.
Speaker 2: And I love and I completely agree with you. I
Speaker 2: think you're allowed to have your own experience. I almost
Speaker 2: think about it sometimes to do with entrepreneurship too, Like
Speaker 2: a lot of people will be like, entrepreneurship is really tough,
Speaker 2: it's really hard work, and there's the hustle culture of
Speaker 2: you have to work eighteen hours a day and you
Speaker 2: have to do this, and you have to do that.
Speaker 2: And I always say to people like, if I'm completely honest,
Speaker 2: for the first two years of my career, three years
Speaker 2: of my career, I did work eighteen hours a day,
Speaker 2: and I'm really happy I did. Like it was amazing
Speaker 2: and I'm really grateful, And yes, some parts of it
Speaker 2: were unhealthy, but it allowed me to get to where
Speaker 2: I wanted to get to in order to put things
Speaker 2: in place to be more healthy. And that's my personal
Speaker 2: experience in it, and that's not right or wrong or
Speaker 2: the best way or the worst way. It's just how
Speaker 2: it's worked for me. And you could look at that
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, well, eighteen hours of the hustle
Speaker 2: culture and there's no balance, and I'm like, but it's
Speaker 2: each of us have got to find what's comfortable and
Speaker 2: natural for us, and you're allowed to have your own
Speaker 2: experience and also recognize that there's negatives within it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you you know, you were working those eighteen
Speaker 1: hour days and when you realize, well, maybe I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be doing that, or you have maybe this realization of
Speaker 1: maybe I should have more balance in my life, maybe
Speaker 1: I should do this. Oh okay like that, then you
Speaker 1: can maybe fix it and grow from it and change
Speaker 1: and not do that anymore. But doesn't mean that when
Speaker 1: you were doing it, you were you know, having a
Speaker 1: terrible time. Maybe you were having fun and you were
Speaker 1: just excited that you to do this work and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. And then you can look back on and
Speaker 1: be like, WHOA, I was actually some more overwhelmed than
Speaker 1: I thought I was. Oh okay, likes I That's what
Speaker 1: that was. Because sometimes you feel these things and some
Speaker 1: new emotions that you've never felt before, and you can't
Speaker 1: pinpoint what it is exactly until you hear somebody else
Speaker 1: say it, or there's a new topic of discussion where
Speaker 1: people are like, do you guys ever feel this? And
Speaker 1: then you're like, I do feel that? What is that?
Speaker 1: And then you discover oh, it's burnout? Yes, Oh see,
Speaker 1: there was never a word for it before. That's what
Speaker 1: that is. It's just like acknowledging and recognizing something and
Speaker 1: then being like, Okay, well we're not going to do
Speaker 1: that anymore. But I did do it, so you know
Speaker 1: we're not going to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. I mean I think about that.
Speaker 2: When I was young, I used to have certain physical
Speaker 2: sensations or experiences in my heart space and my chest space,
Speaker 2: and I would go to the doctors. I would tell
Speaker 2: my mom and we'd go get checked out. The doctors
Speaker 2: had no clue. They were like, you're absolutely fine. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And now I look back and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: had anxiety. Oh I had panicitects. I had no idea,
Speaker 2: and no one ever used that language. I saw multiple doctors,
Speaker 2: no one ever said it to me, and so I
Speaker 2: just moved on with life and got on with it,
Speaker 2: and it became better at dealing with it. And now
Speaker 2: I look back and I'm like, oh, now there's a
Speaker 2: word for it, and now we can label it and
Speaker 2: talk about it.
Speaker 3: But I didn't know then.
Speaker 2: And There's been definitely times in my life where I've
Speaker 2: been in denial, that I've been in stress or burnout,
Speaker 2: and then I look back and I'm like, oh, now
Speaker 2: I can notice it. But at that time I just
Speaker 2: needed to push through or whatever it may be. But
Speaker 2: I mean talking about this and talking about relate relevant
Speaker 2: emotional experiences. I was talking about my friend earlier, and
Speaker 2: you were talking to me about the experience you went through.
Speaker 2: You shared this on social media. You talked about the
Speaker 2: loss of Tate and the grief you've experienced, which is
Speaker 2: what's led to Tate and Taylor, which is this incredible
Speaker 2: new platform and company that's supporting so many people walk.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about what you've built and the
Speaker 2: passion and the purpose behind it, but let's talk about
Speaker 2: the grief of losing a friend, because that's really what
Speaker 2: they say, is a really dear friend walk me through
Speaker 2: those nine years and the amazing relationship you built with Tate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tate, Oh my angel. I got Tate when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, so it was really kind of in the
Speaker 1: mix of all this my life changing, you know. I
Speaker 1: booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show not very long after
Speaker 1: I Tate came into my life and we went We
Speaker 1: walked through life together for nine years and he was
Speaker 1: my best friend. And oh gosh, it's so hard to
Speaker 1: put it into words because it's it's so it's such
Speaker 1: a unique thing to have a deep relationship with an animal,
Speaker 1: and it sounds I hope it don't sound crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gonna sound a little crazy, but like, I just
Speaker 1: feel like the love that you know, dogs and animals
Speaker 1: in general have for humans is so unconditional, you know,
Speaker 1: and they have no judgment. They don't want anything from
Speaker 1: you but your love back, and it's so pure and
Speaker 1: it's so innocent. It's almost childlike in a way, you know,
Speaker 1: when I I can only imagine, you know, when you
Speaker 1: hold a newborn baby for the first time, that immediate
Speaker 1: connection that you feel to this thing that I can't
Speaker 1: even talk get and is just a part of you.
Speaker 1: It's really special to have such a deep connection to
Speaker 1: something that literally wants nothing from you except for also
Speaker 1: the like unconditional love. So to have take com into
Speaker 1: my life at that time was so special, just because
Speaker 1: so much was changing. You know, I was growing up.
Speaker 1: I was, you know, becoming a young woman from a
Speaker 1: girl to a woman, and he was there for that.
Speaker 1: And you know, I was traveling all the time, and
Speaker 1: I was away from family, and I just had this little, tiny,
Speaker 1: innocent soul with me that just always looked at me, like,
Speaker 1: you're the best, and I love you. And Tate taught
Speaker 1: me so much. I mean, he taught me, you know, responsibility,
Speaker 1: caring for something other than myself, you know, taking care
Speaker 1: of him, you know, pouring love into him and making
Speaker 1: sure that he was good and you know even well behaved,
Speaker 1: and training him and doing all those things is showing
Speaker 1: him an act of love and making sure that he's
Speaker 1: a confident, comfortable dog he could be in any scenario.
Speaker 1: And he was the best boy. And I think he
Speaker 1: also kind of knew that I was just kind of
Speaker 1: out there winging.
Speaker 4: It a bit.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh God, this girl, this girl has
Speaker 1: no idea what she's doing. So I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: be a good boy now. And he just I really
Speaker 1: sometimes feel like he did teach himself how to just
Speaker 1: be everywhere with me all the time. And I think
Speaker 1: that he was meant for me, and he was meant
Speaker 1: to be in my life, and I think that we
Speaker 1: were sort of made for each other and we belonged
Speaker 1: to each other. And you know, he was he was
Speaker 1: so it sounds crazy to say this about a dog,
Speaker 1: but he was so emotional, Like his eyes were so human.
Speaker 1: He could look at me and I knew what he
Speaker 1: was saying or what he was thinking, or I felt
Speaker 1: that he could feel what I was thinking or what
Speaker 1: I was feeling. And I definitely think that he also
Speaker 1: taught me a lot about you know, emotion and you
Speaker 1: know being. You know what's that saying? You know, be
Speaker 1: the person your dog thinks you are. They think you're great.
Speaker 1: You know, they're like, I love you no matter what. Yes, mom, Yes,
Speaker 1: So if that's the energy they give you, right, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're the best, and it's just like am I the best?
Speaker 1: But to how something, you know, this little creature just
Speaker 1: look at you and think you're the best. It kind
Speaker 1: of makes you want to be the best, right, you know,
Speaker 1: constantly trying to grow and be better and change, and
Speaker 1: you know, nobody's perfect and no one will ever be perfect,
Speaker 1: and we're always learning and we're always growing and we're
Speaker 1: always changing. But having something to do that for and
Speaker 1: having someone to do that with is is really is
Speaker 1: It's different, you know, like it's more intentional, right, So
Speaker 1: trying to be better because Tait thinks I'm the best
Speaker 1: is a different motivation. So he definitely was there for
Speaker 1: me through, you know, so much of my life and
Speaker 1: so much of my life changing. I think from you know,
Speaker 1: eighteen to twenty seven are pretty formative years. I don't
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, but someone told me once that
Speaker 1: your brain stops developing a twenty five or something. So
Speaker 1: you know, he was there. Oh sorry, I hit the
Speaker 1: mic top with my hands. He was there. He was
Speaker 1: there from when I had an undeveloped brain to a
Speaker 1: developed brain. You know, he kind of just saw me
Speaker 1: through and he was He was just the best, I mean,
Speaker 1: the love of my life, I mean, my soulmate really
Speaker 1: because he just knew, you know, and I've never had
Speaker 1: a connection with any anyone like that that I've had
Speaker 1: with Tate. So I'm just I'm really grateful that he
Speaker 1: was in my life. He's the inspiration behind me even
Speaker 1: wanting to start a pet company, just because I love
Speaker 1: him so much. And I know other people have felt
Speaker 1: that before, people who've had you know, what I like
Speaker 1: to call a soul dog, they know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, they know that feeling. And when I shared
Speaker 1: that I lost Tate, people who who'd you know, been
Speaker 1: on my journey with me and been maybe following me
Speaker 1: for a bit, no the day I got him, and
Speaker 1: maybe saw saw him on my Instagram all the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was probably in every single picture on
Speaker 1: my Instagram for nine years, so I feel like people
Speaker 1: felt like they knew him. And when I said when I,
Speaker 1: you know, shared that he was sick, and then when
Speaker 1: I ultimately shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount
Speaker 1: of support and you know, messages that I got and
Speaker 1: also shared experiences that I received from I lost my
Speaker 1: soul dog ten years ago and I still think about
Speaker 1: them every single day. It made me feel It made
Speaker 1: me feel less alone and less maybe kind of strange
Speaker 1: for feeling this way about a dog, because I you know,
Speaker 1: you get both you get. I got amazing, overwhelming comments
Speaker 1: that were just overwhelmingly positive. I mean, just you know,
Speaker 1: I know what you've what you're going through. I went
Speaker 1: through this, you know. Just remember He's always with you. You know.
Speaker 1: I got messages like that that touched me so deeply
Speaker 1: and positively, and I just felt so grateful that I
Speaker 1: got those messages. But then, of course you get the
Speaker 1: flip side where people don't understand. They're like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: a dog, what's the big deal. You know, Oh, it's
Speaker 1: a dog. Move on. I'll never move on from Tate's death.
Speaker 1: My grief will change, for sure. My perspective of his
Speaker 1: death will change, and it has even since I lost him.
Speaker 1: You know, I it's devastating and it's heartbreaking, and you know,
Speaker 1: to anyone who's felt that, I know that feels like
Speaker 1: and don't let anybody rush you. You know, some people
Speaker 1: don't understand it's just because this is a dog and
Speaker 1: you know, not a person. It doesn't mean that they
Speaker 1: don't deserve the same amount of time and space and
Speaker 1: energy you would give to grieving anything else. So I
Speaker 1: would just say, you know, take your time, and you're
Speaker 1: not alone. And it's not a fun thing to go
Speaker 1: through at all. So I think I'll always miss Tate.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't see how I can't, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think to say to get over something is
Speaker 1: such a harsh way of saying it because I'll probably
Speaker 1: never get over it. I'll never really get over losing Tate.
Speaker 1: I can heal from it, and I can find, you know,
Speaker 1: peace with it, But those are two completely different things.
Speaker 1: Getting over it? How do you get over that?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: It does? It's not something that it's not an object
Speaker 1: in my way, it's he's a part of me and
Speaker 1: he's no longer here. So yeah, I definitely think losing
Speaker 1: a pet is tough. And you know, losing one that
Speaker 1: you have such a deep, strong connection with that's been
Speaker 1: with you for so many things with no expectation from
Speaker 1: you other than just they want to be there with
Speaker 1: you is that's a tough loss and a tough thing
Speaker 1: to work through.
Speaker 2: So thank you for sharing that. I mean, I like
Speaker 2: I was saying to you. I've had two friends recently
Speaker 2: who've both lost pets that they were dogs that they
Speaker 2: were close to for many, many years, and I've been
Speaker 2: talking to them and when this opportunity came up to
Speaker 2: talk to you, I was thinking about you, and then
Speaker 2: thinking about them, and I can't wait to share this
Speaker 2: conversation with them because it's I don't think there's anyone
Speaker 2: who has a pet that they're deeply close to that
Speaker 2: sees it as a loss that's different of any kind.
Speaker 3: And why would you when that.
Speaker 2: Person has been there with you through all these experiences
Speaker 2: walk us through, Like what is it like when you
Speaker 2: get that caller, you have that meeting with the vet
Speaker 2: or the doctor that goes this is the condition that
Speaker 2: Tate hasn't please tell us a bit about the condition
Speaker 2: and that experience, because I feel like, to me, when
Speaker 2: I think about grief and loss, it's like that point
Speaker 2: in the journey is so pivotal to everything that comes
Speaker 2: after it because it's like the first time it really
Speaker 2: hits you that this may not last.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also it can dictate your journey and how
Speaker 1: you grieve and why you're grieving. So Tate was diagnosed
Speaker 1: with T cell and foma, and you know, he was
Speaker 1: acting strangely, probably less than a month before his diagnosis.
Speaker 1: It was little things, very subtle things, and almost things
Speaker 1: that were already kind of things that he had been
Speaker 1: doing before, but they were just a little bit more
Speaker 1: frequent or a little bit more extreme, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that's really weird. So Tate had a very sensitive stomach.
Speaker 1: He would always sometimes I don't want to say the
Speaker 1: word throw up, but sorry guys, So if you're triggered
Speaker 1: by that. He would throw up his food sometimes, and
Speaker 1: he like it didn't always like sit well with him.
Speaker 1: And he he had, like you know, already had like
Speaker 1: digestion problems from when he was a puppy, but probably
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks before his cancer diagnosis, he was
Speaker 1: still throwing up food. He was like drinking water excessively,
Speaker 1: like drinking a lot of water, like he seemed very,
Speaker 1: very thirsty. And then when I ultimately was like, okay,
Speaker 1: something is really really wrong, it was incontinence. So he
Speaker 1: was peeing in the bed at night, which was he
Speaker 1: never did that. He was such a good boy. I
Speaker 1: was like, he would never do this intentionally. So I
Speaker 1: took him to the doctor and I was like, something
Speaker 1: is wrong. He's you know, it's not strange or abnormal
Speaker 1: that he's throwing up his food, but it's strange that
Speaker 1: he threw up water yesterday, and it's strange that he
Speaker 1: peed in the bed. And I don't think that those
Speaker 1: are normal things. So you know, they're doing blood tests.
Speaker 1: His calcium levels are off. I don't remember in what way,
Speaker 1: just because honestly, it's all a bit of a blur
Speaker 1: because it's it was a very emotional time. So but
Speaker 1: I do remember his calcium levels. There was something wrong there.
Speaker 1: So they did another test that was a bit more
Speaker 1: of a deep dive into that. They were like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a problem. We should probably do an X ray. So,
Speaker 1: you know, that was a week ago. So now it's
Speaker 1: a week later, and you know, getting these appointments and
Speaker 1: like seeing the doctors, you know, it's just sometimes not
Speaker 1: always easy, even in dogs, even you know, in veterinary circumstances,
Speaker 1: it's weirdly sometimes similar to human doctors. You know, it's
Speaker 1: just getting these appointments and getting into sea it's like, well,
Speaker 1: something is wrong. Can we just do this now? Why
Speaker 1: are we sitting here and waiting? He doesn't feel good,
Speaker 1: So we go in for the x ray, and you know,
Speaker 1: sure enough, they find a mass in his shoulder and
Speaker 1: his lymph node near his shoulder, and they're like, okay,
Speaker 1: well we think it's lymphoma. So you know, you need
Speaker 1: to take him to an oncologist, and you know, these
Speaker 1: are the oncologists that we recommend. I'm calling every hospital
Speaker 1: in New York that I possibly can to see. You know,
Speaker 1: who can I take him to right away? Everyone was,
Speaker 1: you know, this was maybe May. Everyone was like, our
Speaker 1: next appointment isn't until June sixteenth. Our next appointment isn't
Speaker 1: until July sixteenth. I'm like, okay, well, my dog was
Speaker 1: just diagnosed with cancer, or what they think to be
Speaker 1: is cancer. I can't imagine that he can wait until
Speaker 1: June or July. And I don't really know what to
Speaker 1: do next. So he starts getting worse, and he's not
Speaker 1: eating anymore, and he has no appetite and he can't
Speaker 1: keep even water down. So my husband actually takes him
Speaker 1: to the vet. I'm out of town when this is happening,
Speaker 1: and she says, he's in a really bad state. He's
Speaker 1: severely dehydrated. You need to take him to the emergency
Speaker 1: room right now, and they'll check him into the ICU
Speaker 1: and then maybe then he'll be seen by an oncologist.
Speaker 1: And I was like, why didn't you tell me that before?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would have done that a week ago,
Speaker 1: even though he wasn't in a state of emergency. He
Speaker 1: has we think he has cancer. We think he has
Speaker 1: tell tea cell and foma that's very aggressive. So we
Speaker 1: my husband takes him to the emergency room, and sure
Speaker 1: enough they do. They check him into the ICU. He's,
Speaker 1: you know, very severely dehydrated, he's very weak, he hasn't
Speaker 1: eaten in like two days, and he's on a wait
Speaker 1: list to see an oncologist that day. And well, remembering
Speaker 1: all this is hard because I wasn't in town. This
Speaker 1: was happening, and I get the calls that Tates in
Speaker 1: the emergency room, Tates in the ICU. I'm not there,
Speaker 1: petrified I'm going to lose him, and I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be there. And he's seen by the oncologists. They
Speaker 1: do all the tests, they do all the scans. Yes,
Speaker 1: he does have T cell lymphoma. It's throughout his entire body.
Speaker 1: He has multiple you know, masses on multiple lymph nodes.
Speaker 1: And he definitely doesn't have much much more time left.
Speaker 1: So I get home as soon as I can. I'm
Speaker 1: in the I see you with him, and you know,
Speaker 1: all this is happening days before our wedding. Actually, I
Speaker 1: was in the hospital with him on a Monday, and
Speaker 1: on Thursday, I was meant to fly back home to
Speaker 1: Colorado to get married. And I'm in New York in
Speaker 1: the hospital, in the icy with Tate, and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at him and I'm asking him, like, if
Speaker 1: you if you need to go, wait, please let me know,
Speaker 1: like I will let you go, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: don't want to make him do anything that he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to do, because sometimes I feel like when you're
Speaker 1: dealing with a sick animal, we can be quite selfish.
Speaker 1: And I want him to be there, and I want
Speaker 1: him to be okay, and I want him to be
Speaker 1: at my wedding and all these things that I want,
Speaker 1: But what about him. He doesn't feel good, he's sick,
Speaker 1: he's in the hospital. So Tate was at the Animal
Speaker 1: medical Center in New York, the Shworsman Animal Medical Center,
Speaker 1: And a lot of what we do at TIT and
Speaker 1: Taylor is I have a whole cancer like a fuck
Speaker 1: cancer merch collection line where one hundred percent of the
Speaker 1: profit that we make goes back to a fund that
Speaker 1: they have at the Animal Medical Center called the Buddy Fund.
Speaker 1: And what the Buddy Fund does is help subsidize the
Speaker 1: cost or cover the cost in total of chemotherapy and
Speaker 1: cancer treatments and pets. It's an incredible program and it's
Speaker 1: an incredible hospital and a part of my journey and
Speaker 1: story with Tate, so much of it has to do
Speaker 1: with the amazing the oncology department at the Animal Medical
Speaker 1: Center is amazing. They're the largest nonprofit hospital in the world,
Speaker 1: and they they have so many amazing programs there. They're
Speaker 1: teaching hospital, so it's a really it's a great place.
Speaker 1: Tate was in the best hands when he was there,
Speaker 1: and while even though I was going through something quite
Speaker 1: emotional and a turbulent time of is he going to
Speaker 1: make it to one of the most special days of
Speaker 1: my life and or is he not? I I had
Speaker 1: an amazing doctor there. She was so supportive. She was
Speaker 1: about to get married. She was, you know, getting married
Speaker 1: a week after me. So she was I have a
Speaker 1: dog and she was like, I can't She's like, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I mean she's
Speaker 1: at She's like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now.
Speaker 1: You know, getting married, your dog in the hospital, this
Speaker 1: is your baby, and you know you're he might not
Speaker 1: be there. So the team that the oncology team was
Speaker 1: so amazing with Tate and with me. They did everything
Speaker 1: in their power. They're like, well, we think we should start,
Speaker 1: you know, the chop protocol, which is what he started,
Speaker 1: and he started responding to it really positively. So I'm
Speaker 1: you know, there's a small segue cut back to you know,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at Tate. I'm like, please tell me, like,
Speaker 1: do you want to fight this? Like are you gonna
Speaker 1: stick it out? You don't have to do that, you
Speaker 1: don't have to come. I know I want you to,
Speaker 1: but I need to do what's best for you. And
Speaker 1: after I you know, said this to him, he it's
Speaker 1: you know, he's going in to have a feeding tube
Speaker 1: put in because he's not eating and he's about to
Speaker 1: start the chop protocol. They want to make sure he
Speaker 1: has nutrients in his body, so they put a feeding
Speaker 1: tube in so that they can start giving administering, you know,
Speaker 1: nutrients to him. And immediately flipped. He went from looking
Speaker 1: like he was on st doorstep to Tate. He was
Speaker 1: wagging his tail, he was energetic, he was you know,
Speaker 1: doing it. He was him. I was like, it was
Speaker 1: the next day, and this was Wednesday. I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: leave Thursday for the wedding. I was my mind was blown.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1: I was like, Tater, are you lying to me right now?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? What is this? All of a
Speaker 1: sudden he knew, he knew he wanted to be there.
Speaker 1: I asked him. I was like, do you what do
Speaker 1: you need? What do you want? They, you know, put
Speaker 1: the feeding to him in they're administering his first dose
Speaker 1: of the chop protocol, and you know, he's able to
Speaker 1: get some nutrients in his body. He's a different dog.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, this dog wants to fight this for me.
Speaker 1: He wants to pull through right now, so he does
Speaker 1: make it to the wedding. It was an amazing, beautiful
Speaker 1: experience to be able to share that with him, because
Speaker 1: literally every person who he's ever loved and who has
Speaker 1: ever loved Tate was there and they got to they
Speaker 1: got to say goodbye to him, you know. As not
Speaker 1: to sound morbid, but it is. It's in a way
Speaker 1: sort of cancer and dogs is it's not curable. They
Speaker 1: don't live much longer than maybe a year, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes in some cases too, like it's different, you know,
Speaker 1: you they treat dogs to live the best quality of
Speaker 1: life if they can, for the rest of their lives,
Speaker 1: until they get to a point where it's okay, well
Speaker 1: it's their time. So it was a way for people
Speaker 1: to say goodbye to him because we knew he wouldn't
Speaker 1: be around for much longer. We didn't know how much longer,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't going to be much longer. And it
Speaker 1: was really special. You know, my best friend from my childhood,
Speaker 1: someone I've known since I was five years old, he
Speaker 1: was what did I call him, oh, my man of honor,
Speaker 1: and he walked him down the aisle and it was
Speaker 1: really special, and you know, people were crying and everyone
Speaker 1: was hugging Tate and kissing Tate and just it was
Speaker 1: so special for me to be able to see and
Speaker 1: feel the love for him, knowing what he had gone
Speaker 1: through and what we were going through, and it felt
Speaker 1: like it really felt like a miracle that he made
Speaker 1: it there and that he was there that day. So
Speaker 1: then you know, we get back to New York and
Speaker 1: he's you know, he's on maybe number two or three
Speaker 1: of his doses. It's a sixteen week process, and we
Speaker 1: were probably only on like week two and so because
Speaker 1: he had t cell lymphoma, it's a it's very aggressive
Speaker 1: and it adapts in the body really quickly, and you know,
Speaker 1: since Tate had tumors throughout his entire body, we didn't
Speaker 1: know how he would respond to it. He was nine
Speaker 1: years old, so he was older, but he wasn't old old,
Speaker 1: I guess. So the doctors were like, well, we're not
Speaker 1: really sure. He's nine. It's old, but he's still energetic.
Speaker 1: He's still quite youthful. Like we're gonna kind of play
Speaker 1: it by your and see how this goes. And then
Speaker 1: it was we were we were in New York for
Speaker 1: maybe about a week ten days or so, and he
Speaker 1: started to get really really bad again, really bad. We
Speaker 1: take him back to the emergency room. They you know,
Speaker 1: he's back in the ICU and they're doing all the
Speaker 1: blood work and the tests and you know, checking on him,
Speaker 1: and he the cancer in his body had adapted to
Speaker 1: the to the chemotherapy treatments and it was attacking his
Speaker 1: kidneys now and essentially, you know, his doctor said, if
Speaker 1: he doesn't pass from the cancer, he'll pass from kidney failure. So, right,
Speaker 1: now we're in a position where there's not much more
Speaker 1: we can do, and he's not comfortable. He's in a
Speaker 1: lot of pain. He's very sick. She said, it's completely
Speaker 1: up to you, and I can't tell you what to do.
Speaker 1: All I can tell you is where he at, what
Speaker 1: hit the health. The condition of his health right now
Speaker 1: is not good. So you know, we ultimately have to
Speaker 1: come to to the decision to let Tate go because
Speaker 1: I don't want him to live like that. But so selfish,
Speaker 1: you know, I think to try to keep treating him
Speaker 1: when he's Yeah, he's not. He shouldn't. He shouldn't be,
Speaker 1: you know. So we were able to make an appointment
Speaker 1: with the doctor that does humane euthanization in home so
Speaker 1: that Tate could be with me, my husband, and we
Speaker 1: were in our home together and we got to hold him,
Speaker 1: and you know, he didn't have to go back to
Speaker 1: the hospital because going there was it was a scary
Speaker 1: thing for Mike could tell it was stressful because that's
Speaker 1: where they would take him away from me. And I
Speaker 1: knew he wanted to be with me. He was very
Speaker 1: attached to me, so I didn't want to have to
Speaker 1: take him back there. I didn't want him to have
Speaker 1: to pass in that environment, not to speak negative. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a negative space at all. It was actually very happy.
Speaker 1: It was a very beautiful space. The doctors were amazing there,
Speaker 1: and it was it was both. It was tough because
Speaker 1: it was what we were going through was so difficult,
Speaker 1: but they were so they were so amazing there. They
Speaker 1: were so positive, their energy was so great. So it
Speaker 1: wasn't that it was a dark, scary place. It's just
Speaker 1: I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible. And
Speaker 1: I know that by him walking in there, he was
Speaker 1: like he would be like, oh no, like I'm in
Speaker 1: this place again. They're going to take me away from you, mom.
Speaker 1: So I didn't want to bring him back there, and
Speaker 1: I have to, you know, his last moments be in
Speaker 1: a place where he didn't know what was going to
Speaker 1: happen to him. So we did it at home and
Speaker 1: it was really special that I got to hold him
Speaker 1: and you know, come for him and be with him.
Speaker 1: That was the most important thing to me. I was
Speaker 1: I absolutely have to be there, like I have to
Speaker 1: be there. And I think he knew and I think
Speaker 1: he wanted me to be there, and he waited so
Speaker 1: that we could do we could do it together and
Speaker 1: we could be together. And it's it's a tough thing,
Speaker 1: you know, like having to, you know, witness someone die
Speaker 1: is not fun, especially him, you know, for me, he
Speaker 1: was he was everything to me. And just based off
Speaker 1: of that experience that I have with him, I know
Speaker 1: so many people probably have felt that way, have been
Speaker 1: in a similar situation, and I know it's it's really
Speaker 1: hard going through that. So I'm grateful for the way
Speaker 1: that everything happened with me with Tate. It's so crazy.
Speaker 1: They know, like they know these spiritual beings. I think
Speaker 1: animals they are more spiritual than us. They have so
Speaker 1: much more. They have different types of consciousness, I think
Speaker 1: than people do. He knew what I needed and he
Speaker 1: knew how I needed him to go, and he really
Speaker 1: did that for me. And it was really even though
Speaker 1: it was really tough, it was really also beautiful at
Speaker 1: the same time to be able to hold him in
Speaker 1: his last moments and he was there for me for
Speaker 1: every single moment, and I got to be there for
Speaker 1: him in this moment. He didn't feel fear, he didn't
Speaker 1: feel pain, he was I held him in my arms
Speaker 1: and I was you know, we were just I got
Speaker 1: to hold him, so he was very I know, he
Speaker 1: was comfortable, and I felt that with him, and that's
Speaker 1: why I wanted to be there, so I just could
Speaker 1: make sure that he felt nothing but comfort and no
Speaker 1: pain and just happiness and love like you can feel
Speaker 1: my love. So that's sort of you know, the story
Speaker 1: of Tate and his illness and his cancer and what
Speaker 1: you know, sort of what we went through. And you know,
Speaker 1: treating cancer is so expensive, even with insurance, and you know,
Speaker 1: part of why the Buddy Fund is something that we're
Speaker 1: so passionate about and why I feel like I want
Speaker 1: Tate and Taylor as a brand to be really cause
Speaker 1: driven and have an initiative and have a purpose and
Speaker 1: have a reason behind it is because of, you know,
Speaker 1: what I went through with Tate. I started building Tate
Speaker 1: and Taylor with him, not knowing that any of this
Speaker 1: would happen, and then before we even got to launch
Speaker 1: and start the company publicly, I lost him, and it
Speaker 1: shifted sort of a lot of the drive and some
Speaker 1: of the purpose that we have and having to decide
Speaker 1: between having a financial burden and being in a place
Speaker 1: where you may or may not be able to financially
Speaker 1: care for your pet and those last precious moments, the
Speaker 1: ones that even I know I got to have a Tait.
Speaker 1: Those last few weeks with him were the best weeks
Speaker 1: ever in my memory of my life with him, because
Speaker 1: he got to come to my wedding. He was back
Speaker 1: to himself for a little bit. These like special little
Speaker 1: things and times that we shared together. They were so
Speaker 1: important in how I was able to heal going forward
Speaker 1: once I did lose him. So I think being able
Speaker 1: to help support people who are going through this with
Speaker 1: their pets and go through cancer and that journey and
Speaker 1: that path and what that looks like is something I
Speaker 1: really I have such a passion for and something I
Speaker 1: really want to be able to help because I went
Speaker 1: through all of this with him, and I know what
Speaker 1: that feels like, and I know what that pain is
Speaker 1: and how out what that weight feels like, and what
Speaker 1: the grief feels like. How can I be there for
Speaker 1: other people and how can I help other people who
Speaker 1: are going through this so they never have to think
Speaker 1: about that? And that's why we picked the Buddy Fund,
Speaker 1: just because of the experience that I had with Tate
Speaker 1: at AMC and so many people I know so many
Speaker 1: people who've who've had that experience, and you know, I
Speaker 1: spoke with Tate's on collegist, doctor Rachel Lordhal, and you know,
Speaker 1: we posted it on the Tate and Taylor Instagram and
Speaker 1: I got a couple of comments that were, like, I
Speaker 1: love doctor Rachel. She was there for me with with
Speaker 1: my with my dog, and you know, she's amazing, and
Speaker 1: so people feel people feel it from them from that place,
Speaker 1: and that fund is so impactful because when you're going
Speaker 1: through something like that, to have to worry about whether
Speaker 1: or not you can afford care and whether or not
Speaker 1: you can even get those extra that extra time and
Speaker 1: just see how they're even going to respond to treatment.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't even I don't even want to.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to have to go there and make that decision.
Speaker 1: So I got so much support when I lost Tate,
Speaker 1: and I just want to do everything I can to
Speaker 1: support others because I know other people go through this
Speaker 1: and there are people in that position, and it breaks
Speaker 1: my heart to even think that somebody would have to
Speaker 1: go through Yeah, I just I can't. It's hard to
Speaker 1: verbalize that pain, and I because I can, I can
Speaker 1: so clearly visualize what that feeling could be and having
Speaker 1: to make that decision, and I got to make it
Speaker 1: when I did with Tate, and I'm I'm I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful that I was able to do that. And I
Speaker 1: just want to be able to share to like give
Speaker 1: that back, give that time, give it to others, Like
Speaker 1: how can I help give people more time with their soulmates?
Speaker 3: I guess Taylor.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for opening up so intimately about
Speaker 2: that journey. And I remember seeing the beautiful and amazing
Speaker 2: pictures and memories you shared with Tay on social media,
Speaker 2: but to hear the actual journey behind it. Just thank
Speaker 2: you so much for being so open and giving. And
Speaker 2: I'm very confident that. I mean, I haven't lost a
Speaker 2: pet or a dog, and I don't know what that
Speaker 2: feels like. But even just sitting here listening to you,
Speaker 2: I know that anyone who has, or anyone who may
Speaker 2: do so in the future, will have this to turn
Speaker 2: to as a way of connecting with and to humanize
Speaker 2: their experience and also validate their experience of how deeply
Speaker 2: they love this friend in their life. And I wanted
Speaker 2: to ask you what would you two questions?
Speaker 3: What would you.
Speaker 2: For anyone who is grieving the loss of a pet, friend,
Speaker 2: a dog, like, what would you want them to know
Speaker 2: about the grieving process? And the second question is if
Speaker 2: someone has a friend or family member that's going through it,
Speaker 2: what would you like them to know in order to
Speaker 2: offer help or support to that person.
Speaker 1: I would say, if you're going through if you're going
Speaker 1: through this loss and you're you know, coping with this
Speaker 1: type of grief, I think patience, Just be patient with yourself.
Speaker 1: Feel it. You know, grief is like an ocean. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's relentless, Sometimes it's calm. Sometimes the waves are huge
Speaker 1: and crashing. Sometimes it's completely still and beautiful and peaceful,
Speaker 1: and you know you're able to just float. So wherever
Speaker 1: you're at, where whatever your ocean is doing, just feel it,
Speaker 1: because one moment it'll feel really calm and you'll feel
Speaker 1: a sense of perspective, maybe a sense of peace, and
Speaker 1: then there'll be a memory, or you'll be in a
Speaker 1: situation where it brings something back up and then the
Speaker 1: waves come crashing in and you know that's okay. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm almost a year till to the
Speaker 1: day that I lost Hat and I'm not fully healed yet,
Speaker 1: and I think that's going to take maybe a couple
Speaker 1: more years to even feel like I can say I'm
Speaker 1: healed from that. I don't think I can ever. I
Speaker 1: don't think anyone ever necessarily moves on. And I think
Speaker 1: if they hear the words move on, don't take that,
Speaker 1: let that roll right off you, because that's not what
Speaker 1: maybe they mean to move on you. You may never
Speaker 1: move on. But to heal is different. You know, to
Speaker 1: heal a wound that so it no longer opens is
Speaker 1: a different thing. And I would say to make sure
Speaker 1: that you're doing the steps and taking care of yourself
Speaker 1: and the way you need to to heal, because it
Speaker 1: is a wound. You know, how would you go about
Speaker 1: if you broke your arm? You know, you would go
Speaker 1: to the doctor. You would you know, set it in
Speaker 1: a cast. You would do all these steps to make
Speaker 1: sure your arm could work again. So I think that
Speaker 1: losing someone is sort of it's it's a wound, it's
Speaker 1: in it's an internal wounds, it's a part, it's it
Speaker 1: breaks something in our spirit. So it's not something you
Speaker 1: can see, but it's something that needs addressing. It's something
Speaker 1: that needs help. It needs time. You know, however, you
Speaker 1: need to do that and whatever your process looks like
Speaker 1: to deal with healing just and if you don't know
Speaker 1: how to do that, I think talking to someone, I
Speaker 1: think anyone. It doesn't even have to be a therapist,
Speaker 1: you know, because I know a lot of people like
Speaker 1: to say go to therapy people. Some people don't have
Speaker 1: access to therapy yet, and that's okay, but talking about it,
Speaker 1: you know, if there's someone you can relate to, if
Speaker 1: you can find anyone in your life who will listen
Speaker 1: and help help you grieve, and you know, talk talk
Speaker 1: through it with you, writing about it, talking to yourself
Speaker 1: about it, if you if you prefer writing or journaling,
Speaker 1: or I think there's a couple of different ways to
Speaker 1: get started in terms of well, I don't even know
Speaker 1: how to heal? What does that mean? Taylor? Where do
Speaker 1: I start? What's the process? Look like? It's different for everyone?
Speaker 1: But I think you know, knowledge is power and learning,
Speaker 1: and if you don't know where to start, you can
Speaker 1: talk to someone and maybe ask a couple of questions,
Speaker 1: or ask yourself questions, or write things out and start
Speaker 1: really small and start there and then hopefully, you know,
Speaker 1: you can start growing on that and expanding on Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I this is what it means to heal, this is
Speaker 1: this is my process, this is how I'm going to
Speaker 1: do this, and you know, find the tools that work
Speaker 1: for you and or create the tools that work for you.
Speaker 1: Who knows, it's different for everybody. It's different for everybody.
Speaker 1: So however that looks like to you, whatever that feels
Speaker 1: like to you, as long as you're you're doing what
Speaker 1: you need to do to ultimately heal from it, I
Speaker 1: think that's a really a really great place to start,
Speaker 1: is just to start thinking about it from there. Don't
Speaker 1: worry about moving on or getting over it, or if
Speaker 1: the emotions are stronger sometimes in others, if they can
Speaker 1: be really unexpected, you know it can it hits you
Speaker 1: like a wave some days, and that's okay, feel it,
Speaker 1: sit there, right about it, think about it. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you want to ignore it for a little bit,
Speaker 1: you can, but you know, make sure you're always coming
Speaker 1: back to it and acknowledging it and addressing it, and
Speaker 1: then you can sort of like let it go and
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, I see you, I hear you, I
Speaker 1: feel you. We're gonna acknowledge that emotion and then we
Speaker 1: can let it go, and then I think that's like,
Speaker 1: those are really good ways to kind of start healing.
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2: And I loved what you were saying about people discovering
Speaker 2: their own tools, discovering their own way, not feeling like
Speaker 2: there has to be a set formula, and even listening
Speaker 2: to this conversation. And I do think I've been encouraging
Speaker 2: a lot of my friends to reach out to other
Speaker 2: people who've gone through similar experiences, because not that your
Speaker 2: healing will look the same, but that it feels necessary
Speaker 2: to sit with other people who you feel see you here,
Speaker 2: you understand you. And my friend told me something beautiful
Speaker 2: about grief that I don't think i'll ever forget. They
Speaker 2: said to me that grief is like a stone, and
Speaker 2: you carry it in your pocket and you'll always notice it,
Speaker 2: you'll feel it, you know it's there. But as time
Speaker 2: goes on, you get stronger, and so as you get stronger,
Speaker 2: it's not that the stone goes away. It's just that
Speaker 2: it gets lighter, and so it's lighter to carry. But
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean it's going away. You didn't move on,
Speaker 2: you didn't have to get over it. It doesn't disappear
Speaker 2: or it doesn't get smaller, it stays the same. You
Speaker 2: just get stronger, so the stone gets lighter. And I
Speaker 2: really appreciated that idea around grief because it sat true
Speaker 2: with me that it didn't have to go away.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to let go of it.
Speaker 2: I didn't have to forget about it, and that it
Speaker 2: would always be there. But just as I grow and
Speaker 2: as I strengthen and as I become more resilient, it
Speaker 2: becomes lighter and doesn't weigh on me in the same
Speaker 2: way as the heavy feeling of grief can in the beginning. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so yeah.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I mean it sounds like you know, you shared with
Speaker 2: me before that there was something you wanted to share
Speaker 2: with our community here that you hadn't shared before. And
Speaker 2: when you mentioned it to me, there's something beautiful, you said,
Speaker 2: and it was this idea of how Tate has actually
Speaker 2: been with you through.
Speaker 3: Another loss in your life.
Speaker 2: And that's a journey that you haven't shared before. Could
Speaker 2: you walk us through how Tate was your best friend through.
Speaker 3: That journey too.
Speaker 1: So about three years ago, I had a miscarriage and
Speaker 1: I've I've never spoken about it before except for obviously
Speaker 1: two people in my life. And you know, my family
Speaker 1: knows and my close friends know, and I've shared it
Speaker 1: with you know, some people, and I do think, you know,
Speaker 1: talking about it is an important thing, but you know,
Speaker 1: I've never publicly spoken about it or said that I
Speaker 1: went through that. And you know, I kind of made
Speaker 1: the decision that I since I'm you know, talking about Tate,
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, starting this business based off of
Speaker 1: the love that we have for each other and how
Speaker 1: I want to be there for people. He was there
Speaker 1: for me in so many ways, and how can I,
Speaker 1: you know, share that without sharing something that I went
Speaker 1: through that he was there for me for and in
Speaker 1: grieving his loss, I'm grieving the shared experiences we've had
Speaker 1: and learning how to cope cope with something without him
Speaker 1: when he was there for me through that time in
Speaker 1: my life. I had. It was a really strange circumstance
Speaker 1: under which I had my miscarriage. I had an IUD.
Speaker 1: I had it for about three years, so I obviously,
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to get pregnant at all. I was you know,
Speaker 1: engaged to my husband, and you know, we were not
Speaker 1: planning on starting a family probably for you know, for
Speaker 1: a while. So I wasn't in the headspace at all
Speaker 1: to to be pregnant. And you know, I'm not really
Speaker 1: sure how it happens, because I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: how that works. I'm not a doctor, and I I
Speaker 1: didn't understand it, and sometimes I still don't under understand it,
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm pretty sure I could be wrong
Speaker 1: on this. I probably should have looked it up before
Speaker 1: I came in here so I could say exactly. But
Speaker 1: it's a really small percentage, like a small chance of
Speaker 1: getting pregnant on an IUD. It's like less than one
Speaker 1: percent or something like that, which is still you know,
Speaker 1: still a chance, like it can still happen, of course,
Speaker 1: but you it's some crazy things happened to someone in there.
Speaker 1: It's like that'll never happen to me. It happened to me.
Speaker 1: I got pregnant on an IUD, and I was shocked
Speaker 1: and I was sad. I didn't want to be pregnant.
Speaker 1: I wasn't ready to be pregnant. I didn't understand what
Speaker 1: it meant to be pregnant with an IUD. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what that meant. I didn't know what my journey
Speaker 1: with this pregnancy would look like. I was so scared.
Speaker 1: I was terrified. And also it was still during COVID,
Speaker 1: so my husband was in he wasn't able to be
Speaker 1: with me. He was in London and he was you know,
Speaker 1: kind of not allowed to travel into the US. So
Speaker 1: I I've found he was with me in the beginning
Speaker 1: of COVID, in the pandemic, but because he's British, you know,
Speaker 1: he was on an ESTA and they were getting people
Speaker 1: out on tourists visas, so his exception to fly out
Speaker 1: was so he didn't overstay his ESTA, because that's the
Speaker 1: last thing we wanted. We were, you know, planning on
Speaker 1: getting married, like we can't get marks on, you know,
Speaker 1: all that stuff. So he left the country because he
Speaker 1: had to, and so then we were separated and we
Speaker 1: were no longer able to be together. Probably I don't
Speaker 1: think I saw him for maybe another couple of months
Speaker 1: after that. So he he wasn't with me when I
Speaker 1: found out I was pregnant, and that was really hard
Speaker 1: for both of us because all you want to do
Speaker 1: when you're going through something like that, as shocking and
Speaker 1: unexpected as it was for the both of us, is
Speaker 1: to be there with each other. You know, I know
Speaker 1: he wanted more than anything in the world to hold
Speaker 1: my hand, like tell me it's going to be okay,
Speaker 1: Like hold me, and you know that's all I wanted
Speaker 1: to and I couldn't be with him. And Tate was
Speaker 1: with me though, you know he was. We were together,
Speaker 1: and I'm so great that I had him physically to
Speaker 1: be there with me physically. You know, my husband was
Speaker 1: there for me in every way that he possibly could be,
Speaker 1: but I had the physical connection that that holding, that comforting,
Speaker 1: you know, that's something that you need in that space.
Speaker 1: I it was breaking both of our hearts that we
Speaker 1: didn't have that you know, couldn't do that, and I
Speaker 1: think it both gave us like comfort knowing that I
Speaker 1: had take with me for that. You know, I had
Speaker 1: to go to my doctor's appointments alone. I you know,
Speaker 1: went in to make sure that I didn't have and
Speaker 1: what's called an ectopic pregnancy, which is when the embryo
Speaker 1: attaches itself in the fillipian tube. My pregnancy was in
Speaker 1: my uterus, so it was viable, it was technically healthy,
Speaker 1: but the circumstances in the environment on which I got
Speaker 1: which I conceived was a bit of a turbulent environment.
Speaker 1: So you know, my doctor said, we don't really know
Speaker 1: what's going to happen here, because you know, you can
Speaker 1: see in an environment where your body is telling you
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be pregnant because of the IUD, because of
Speaker 1: the hormones the idea is putting into your body. And
Speaker 1: also if we remove it, then you know we're changing
Speaker 1: again the environment on which you conceived. So you know,
Speaker 1: it's we don't know fifty to fifty of whether or
Speaker 1: not you're gonna you know, carry this out. So it
Speaker 1: was really just a waiting game to see if it
Speaker 1: would stick or not. And I was given a couple
Speaker 1: of markers of you know, come back at about six
Speaker 1: and a half weeks and we can do internal ultrasound
Speaker 1: and you know, check everything out and see how it's going.
Speaker 1: So you know, I'm I'm waiting another week or so.
Speaker 1: I go back in they do the internal ultrasound or
Speaker 1: able to like hear a heartbeat, and you know, at
Speaker 1: this point, I'm like, oh my gosh, like what is
Speaker 1: happening to me? This is so crazy. I'm going through
Speaker 1: all these things. I have a photo, I have the
Speaker 1: picture you know of the ultrasound, like that's so great.
Speaker 1: It was like this big you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And so I'm at a place in my life where okay,
Speaker 1: maybe I wasn't planning to get pregnant, and I wasn't
Speaker 1: I wasn't ultimately excited about it. At first. I was scared,
Speaker 1: not excited. I was shocked, I was confused, I was
Speaker 1: feeling fear. I wasn't feeling joy. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I'm going to marry this person. I'm in love with
Speaker 1: this person. I want to have a family with this person.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty was I twenty five or was I twenty four?
Speaker 1: I think I was twenty five. I'm twenty five. That's
Speaker 1: still young. But you know it's I feel somewhat ready
Speaker 1: if I was to have a child. Okay, So I'm
Speaker 1: going to start getting in the headspace now of I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna if this pregnancy sticks around, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a child, Okay, Oh gosh. So it's like
Speaker 1: I'm coming to so many different so many terms of
Speaker 1: acceptance here where I'm just like, okay, but I can't
Speaker 1: get too excited because we don't know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: I have to pass all of these milestones to make
Speaker 1: sure if this is going to be a healthy pregnancy
Speaker 1: or not. So I get to about roughly nine weeks,
Speaker 1: and you know, she's like, okay, well we're getting closer.
Speaker 1: You know, she's optimistic that this could be happening. You know,
Speaker 1: usually it's about twelve to fourteen weeks when you start
Speaker 1: telling people. So I'm like, oh my god, it's getting closer,
Speaker 1: like maybe this is going to happen. And I'm starting
Speaker 1: to accept that this is going to happen. It's still
Speaker 1: really early though, so of course not too excited. I'm
Speaker 1: not at that that check mark yet. And then I
Speaker 1: start spotting, but it was it was like it wasn't
Speaker 1: bright red, it wasn't blood yet. And so then the
Speaker 1: doctor was like, well that it's normal. Sometimes that happens,
Speaker 1: you know, there's spotting with pregnancy. It's just your body adjusting.
Speaker 1: So oh, we'll just keep an eye on it. In
Speaker 1: about a week goes by, and and then I start
Speaker 1: seeing what looks like fresh blood and that's this, you know,
Speaker 1: that's what she told me to look out for. And
Speaker 1: that's like kind of the early signs and of what
Speaker 1: ultimately will be a miscarriage, so that starts happening, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm alone in my house, and you know,
Speaker 1: at least I have tate with me, and I call
Speaker 1: my husband and you know, I'm just devastated because I
Speaker 1: know that this is about to happen to me. And
Speaker 1: we're both crying and he's I could just tell he
Speaker 1: was so heartbroken that he couldn't be there. I think
Speaker 1: that was really painful for him too, you know, for
Speaker 1: both of us. And I've never spoken about it either,
Speaker 1: so like to the sixth done, so I I have
Speaker 1: with my family. So this is also new for me
Speaker 1: to do this. It's like reprocessing again. I'm going through
Speaker 1: the physical reaction of having the miscarriage. And it takes
Speaker 1: some time, like you know, what's happening. While it's happening,
Speaker 1: it doesn't just like happen and then it's done like
Speaker 1: it's It takes a long time. It can be painful.
Speaker 1: It feels like a period cramps, but like your worst
Speaker 1: period cramps you've ever had, and you know, ultimately it passes.
Speaker 1: And I have to make all these doctors, doctor's appointments.
Speaker 1: I I have to, you know, make sure everything's Okay,
Speaker 1: make sure I'm healthy and all that. So, you know,
Speaker 1: right after dealing with with this loss, you have to
Speaker 1: click into this motive I have to do all these things,
Speaker 1: and I have to make sure I do this, and
Speaker 1: I do that, and logistics of getting to the doctor
Speaker 1: and like making sure and checking and making sure it
Speaker 1: was clean and everything that needed to pass past. So
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of went into take care of
Speaker 1: it mode, and I just remember feeling so confused because
Speaker 1: it was really just like a rollercoaster of emotion of
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't even know. I didn't even want this.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't planning on having a child.
Speaker 1: I was doing to the best of my ability. You know,
Speaker 1: the IUD is one of the best forms of birth control,
Speaker 1: one of the most efficient forms of birth control, and
Speaker 1: you know, I I was very confused. I was like,
Speaker 1: why is this happening? This is so wild. I can't believe.
Speaker 1: I can't believe this. I didn't I didn't want to
Speaker 1: miss be pregnant. And then okay, I make past a
Speaker 1: couple of checkpoints and I'm starting to feel a little like,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, it's going to happen. I'm starting to process
Speaker 1: emotions of coming to terms with this, like you do
Speaker 1: get excited. I wasn't allowing myself to get fully excited
Speaker 1: or to like be too optimistic about it. I tried
Speaker 1: to stay as neutral as I possibly could, but it's
Speaker 1: it's difficult. You know, you can't you can't control some
Speaker 1: of these things. I mean, this is what I'm feeling.
Speaker 1: So you know, I was like, Okay, well, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: like is this happening? Like whoa? So then there's a
Speaker 1: little bit of excitement, and then you know, some joy
Speaker 1: because like I want a family, I'm excited to have children,
Speaker 1: and then I lose the pregnancy. You know, it was
Speaker 1: early still like when I lost it, so I wasn't
Speaker 1: luckily fully in the headspace of, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent happening. So in terms of the timeline,
Speaker 1: I am really grateful that I hadn't come to terms
Speaker 1: with it yet. But I was still really confused because
Speaker 1: I was like whoa, processing this emotion of feeling like
Speaker 1: I don't even want this to maybe this is happening,
Speaker 1: and feeling some excitement and maybe some joy and then lost.
Speaker 1: It was so strange and it was just all the things.
Speaker 1: You know, It was really just two things can be
Speaker 1: true at once. Kind of a thing where you feel
Speaker 1: these emotions that are one is honestly even with some
Speaker 1: time and some space now and some perspective relief. Wow,
Speaker 1: the timing wasn't right. You know, everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1: I wasn't ready to be a mother, I wasn't ready
Speaker 1: to have a child. I'm absolutely devastated. I'm not a
Speaker 1: mother and I don't have a child. Well, that makes
Speaker 1: no sense. How can you feel both of those things?
Speaker 1: I don't know. They both sit once it's on this
Speaker 1: set of my brain and once it's on this side
Speaker 1: of the brain, and they fight with each other. And
Speaker 1: I don't And it took me a really long time
Speaker 1: to understand how to deal with that. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to talk about this. How do I make this
Speaker 1: make sense? And I think in terms of you know, miscarriages,
Speaker 1: sometimes they don't make sense, not it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of women go through that.
Speaker 1: I think it's something like one in three women experience miscarriage,
Speaker 1: so and some women multiple and some women who've never
Speaker 1: had one, like myself. You know, when I first got pregnant.
Speaker 1: It's like this, you have this sort of you don't
Speaker 1: know that that's a possibility, right, So it's it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it can be really exciting. And I think a lot
Speaker 1: of women when they get pregnant for the first time
Speaker 1: feel excited and optimistic and hopeful and oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have a child right away. So the
Speaker 1: blow of a miscarriage is so devastating. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: what I didn't what happened? I thought I was having
Speaker 1: a try Everyone has a baby. How do people have babies?
Speaker 1: Like this is crazy? How is this happening? To be
Speaker 1: pregnant is such a complicated thing. It's so wild, the
Speaker 1: fact that we can even get pregnant, you know. And
Speaker 1: I think it really helped me feel less alone, knowing
Speaker 1: that it was something that was quite common and that
Speaker 1: a lot of women do go through it, and it
Speaker 1: just it. But then you know something that I felt
Speaker 1: that was difficult to hear in the very beginning that
Speaker 1: being said, when I did very first lose my pregnancy,
Speaker 1: it was like, well, you know, don't worry, this happens
Speaker 1: to a lot of people. You're not alone. It was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear.
Speaker 1: This happens all the time, like you know, I was
Speaker 1: so upset. I was like, what do you mean? So
Speaker 1: I shouldn't feel upset that this happened to me, because
Speaker 1: it happens to a lot of people. So I'm trying. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to articulate, and it's a very difficult thing
Speaker 1: to articulate, specifically because I think it is very intricate
Speaker 1: and it can be very difficult and complicated to speak
Speaker 1: about something like that. So because there's so many powerful,
Speaker 1: really you know, strong emotions that are happening in your
Speaker 1: physical body and in your emotional self as well. So
Speaker 1: I was always torn with they're trying to help me
Speaker 1: by saying this, but it didn't help me to hear that.
Speaker 1: So if I'm saying that now three years later, I
Speaker 1: do have perspective and it did eventually become helpful to
Speaker 1: hear I'm not alone. One in three women have miscarriages.
Speaker 1: This happens to people. It's going to be okay. If
Speaker 1: someone's listening and they're not ready to hear that, I
Speaker 1: feel that I've been there, like, no, this sucks. It
Speaker 1: sucks that one in three women go through it. It
Speaker 1: sucks that it's something that we have to deal with.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you need to hear that, you know. So I've
Speaker 1: been in a place and I've been in positions where
Speaker 1: I needed to feel both like I'm mad, I'm confused,
Speaker 1: why is this happening to me? Why is my body
Speaker 1: doing this? I felt a sense of failure. I felt
Speaker 1: a sense of betrayal of my own body, of my
Speaker 1: own self. I felt like and I wanted to feel
Speaker 1: those things. I didn't want to hear, Well, it happens
Speaker 1: to one in three women. I'm like, I'm mad at myself.
Speaker 1: Like it's okay, It's okay to be mad at yourself.
Speaker 1: You don't have to get over it right away and
Speaker 1: accept that it happens to one in three women. So
Speaker 1: wherever you're at in you know your journey of dealing
Speaker 1: with these emotions and processing. You know, I've felt those things.
Speaker 1: I've been angry, I've felt confused, I felt relief, I
Speaker 1: felt pain, and none of it made any sense. I
Speaker 1: was like, what how do I how do I deal
Speaker 1: with this? And again, you know, it's it goes back
Speaker 1: to sort of something similar and when I lost Tate,
Speaker 1: I just sort of started talking to people. I spoke
Speaker 1: to one of my best friends in the whole world,
Speaker 1: and I with the day it happened, I just sobbed
Speaker 1: to her and she held me, you know, and you
Speaker 1: know she experienced this loss as well, not shortly after me.
Speaker 1: And I think that when I knew she was going
Speaker 1: through what I had been through, and she held me
Speaker 1: and I held her and we were talking about it
Speaker 1: with each other. I think that's when I got to
Speaker 1: a place when I was starting ready to hear this
Speaker 1: happens to one in three women, and then I wanted
Speaker 1: to learn about it more and understand the technical reasons
Speaker 1: why this happens. And you know, it's not my fault.
Speaker 1: My body didn't fail me. You know, it wasn't a
Speaker 1: viable pregnancy, it wasn't healthy, it wasn't meant to happen.
Speaker 1: I don't I'll never really know why it happened. It
Speaker 1: could be a multitude of things. I got priden on
Speaker 1: an iud you know, that's probably number one reason why
Speaker 1: I didn't come come to fruition. So you know, I
Speaker 1: did have some things to ground me in my grief
Speaker 1: of Okay, well, this happened because of this reason. Some
Speaker 1: women don't get that answer, and they don't know why,
Speaker 1: and maybe it happens them a lot later in their pregnancies.
Speaker 1: And there's so many different levels and variations of what
Speaker 1: it means to have a miscarriage, and so many different
Speaker 1: variables and versions of what a miscarriage looks like and
Speaker 1: what a miscarriage feels like. To those people, all I
Speaker 1: can say is my own personal experience and all the
Speaker 1: things I was feeling during that time, and know that,
Speaker 1: you know, three years later, I have so much more perspective,
Speaker 1: and I've given myself so much time to heal from that,
Speaker 1: and it no longer feels like an open, gaping wound.
Speaker 1: It feels like a scar. It's definitely still with me.
Speaker 1: There's a mark there. It happened to me. It's more
Speaker 1: of a you know, another mark on my spirit maybe,
Speaker 1: But I have perspective from it, I have healing from it.
Speaker 1: I really feel like I gave myself a lot of
Speaker 1: time to feel everything I know I needed to feel
Speaker 1: for myself. And I think it's important for other women
Speaker 1: to hear from others that it's something that we go through.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know if I would ever publicly talk
Speaker 1: about it. But you know, I lost Tate and I'm
Speaker 1: talking about grief and he was such a huge part
Speaker 1: of my journey and my life and he helped me
Speaker 1: deal with grief and he's been a huge part of
Speaker 1: you know, my mental health and being there for me.
Speaker 1: And I think there's something there with you know, having
Speaker 1: that can to an animal and mental health and what
Speaker 1: they can do for our mental health. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: therapy dogs for a reason and horse therapy, and there's
Speaker 1: a reason why people connect to animals so strongly, and
Speaker 1: there's something there and there's something that's healing and being
Speaker 1: around them, you know, and he was such a huge
Speaker 1: part of that healing, and in losing him, it did
Speaker 1: it did hurt me in that area that previous injury
Speaker 1: in my spirit that I had from the miscarriage. It
Speaker 1: was someone that was with me so closely and so
Speaker 1: deeply for something so difficult is no longer here. I
Speaker 1: can no longer hold him, and you know, feel comforted
Speaker 1: from the wave of emotions that maybe come back from
Speaker 1: having this, having the miscarriage, So you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: all connected, and you know, sometimes it can be painful
Speaker 1: and it can be hurtful and even though it's a
Speaker 1: it is a scar on me now and it's what
Speaker 1: I feel healed and I feel optimistic and I've I've
Speaker 1: grown a lot from it, and you know, do you
Speaker 1: feel like I've kind of come out on the other
Speaker 1: side of going through that. It's still a tender spot,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like if it's poked,
Speaker 1: it kind of hurts. It's like, oh, that was that's
Speaker 1: from that, you know, you know, I can only I
Speaker 1: have never I've never broken a bone, crazy enough as
Speaker 1: it is, so I can imagine it's maybe similar to
Speaker 1: if you break a bone in your body, it's still
Speaker 1: hurts maybe later in life, and you feel aches and
Speaker 1: pains and all of these things. So it's it's an
Speaker 1: injury that I've feel like my spirit's endured and it's
Speaker 1: still there, but I've really worked through it and worked
Speaker 1: through healing, and I think there's a light at the
Speaker 1: end of the tunnel in terms of if you're going
Speaker 1: through through that. It takes time, and who knows. Maybe
Speaker 1: now I maybe I think I'm heeled, and I'm maybe
Speaker 1: fully not. I don't know. I feel confident and comfortable
Speaker 1: enough to speak about it, so maybe that's a layer
Speaker 1: and a step towards, like towards healing. Maybe we're never
Speaker 1: fully done healing and growing from things. I mean, we're
Speaker 1: never done growing. We grow forever, never and never until
Speaker 1: the day we die. So it might evolve and it
Speaker 1: might change going forward, and you know, it might continue
Speaker 1: and shift, and I can maybe look back on where
Speaker 1: I'm at today and think I still had some work
Speaker 1: to do and I wasn't aware of it yet. So
Speaker 1: you know, we'll kind of we'll see where it goes.
Speaker 1: But you know, kind of where I'm at now is
Speaker 1: this is the headspace that I'm in. I feel comfortable
Speaker 1: and you know, confident enough to sort of talk about
Speaker 1: it and talk about you know, what happened and share
Speaker 1: it and hope that others can maybe connect with it
Speaker 1: and feel not alone. I know it's it can feel isolating,
Speaker 1: especially if there's no one in your life that's been
Speaker 1: through it and you don't feel like you have somebody
Speaker 1: to connect to. So hopefully it just helps. And I
Speaker 1: feel like that's kind of why I wanted to share
Speaker 1: that was just because you know, the many layers of
Speaker 1: grief and in my loss, I've felt lost before, and
Speaker 1: I lost someone that went through me, through that loss
Speaker 1: with me, So I kind of just wanted to touch
Speaker 1: on both of those things just because I know they
Speaker 1: can be It's something that a lot of people go through,
Speaker 1: losing a pet, losing a loved one, and then obviously,
Speaker 1: you know, losing a pregnancy and going through a miscarriage.
Speaker 2: And so thank you for the courage and bravery to
Speaker 2: share that with us here today for the first time
Speaker 2: publicly beyond friends and family. And when I was listening
Speaker 2: to Taylor, I was just thinking, like, I appreciate just
Speaker 2: the level of complexity and layers that you're willing to
Speaker 2: kind of look at this from, whether it's personally, others, everyone.
Speaker 2: I mean, I was saying to you that I've had
Speaker 2: multiple friends in the last two to three years who've
Speaker 2: all experienced a miscarriage, and I to them and I'll
Speaker 2: hear from them, and I see so much just stress,
Speaker 2: overwhelmed pressure, self degradation, like you know, just negative self
Speaker 2: talk like there's it's it's it's one of the hardest
Speaker 2: things to go through. Even if everyone goes through as
Speaker 2: you say, not everyone, but so many people go through it,
Speaker 2: it doesn't make it any easier. And often actually, like
Speaker 2: you said, it makes you so lonely that you don't
Speaker 2: want to talk to anyone about it, and it's it's
Speaker 2: not comforting to know other people have gone through it.
Speaker 2: And I wonder, in that lonely phase, like what was
Speaker 2: it that did help you? And even when your friend
Speaker 2: went through it, what allowed you to be there for
Speaker 2: each other in a way that was comforting and helpful
Speaker 2: rather than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy.
Speaker 1: I needed to be alone. I need to like, I
Speaker 1: needed to feel it, I needed to in it. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want
Speaker 1: people want to be there for you. And that's really
Speaker 1: special and that's really helpful, but I didn't want people
Speaker 1: to be there for me yet. I wasn't ready for
Speaker 1: people to be like, oh, I'm so sorry, or you know,
Speaker 1: because people don't know what to say sometimes when it
Speaker 1: comes to grief or loss. Sometimes I don't know what
Speaker 1: to say either. I have no idea on how to
Speaker 1: react to some things, still having experienced my own version
Speaker 1: of grief. How do you be there for somebody? It's
Speaker 1: a difficult thing. I mean, I didn't know how I
Speaker 1: needed well, I didn't know what I needed from people.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to
Speaker 1: be alone. I didn't want anyone to know because I
Speaker 1: didn't want people to talk to me about it or
Speaker 1: say things to me, because I just wasn't ready to
Speaker 1: hear it yet. And the way that I think I
Speaker 1: told people that were really really close to me. Really
Speaker 1: my husband obviously knew because it happened to him too,
Speaker 1: and my two best friends knew. And the way that
Speaker 1: I feel like they were there for me because they
Speaker 1: didn't know what to say. They didn't say anything. They
Speaker 1: were there for me physically. They held me, they let
Speaker 1: me cry. I just sat there and I cried and
Speaker 1: said nothing and they just held my hand and were
Speaker 1: like just sat there with me and like let me cry.
Speaker 1: They didn't ask me questions. They didn't ask me how
Speaker 1: I felt. They didn't ask they didn't say anything to me, like,
Speaker 1: they didn't say everything happens for a reason, don't worry,
Speaker 1: like you'll feel one day, da da da. They didn't
Speaker 1: go into that because they know me so well, they
Speaker 1: probably knew that I didn't want to hear that yet.
Speaker 1: They just were there and they listened when I was
Speaker 1: ready to talk. And then because I wasn't ready. They
Speaker 1: just let me emote and they just let me cry
Speaker 1: and they cried, and I could tell because I was hurt.
Speaker 1: They were hurt. You know. When I finally got to
Speaker 1: my husband and we were together, he just held me.
Speaker 1: We both cried and he just held me, and you know,
Speaker 1: I held him too, because I think that's another thing,
Speaker 1: is another layer on top of it is even though
Speaker 1: it physically happened to me and emotionally it was something
Speaker 1: that I experienced, it was it was an individual experience
Speaker 1: to myself. Emotionally, it's something that it's a loss that
Speaker 1: happened to him as well. He also thought potentially he
Speaker 1: would be having a child, So we were both grieving something.
Speaker 1: We were both grieving the loss of this. We were
Speaker 1: both feeling this weird sense of relief at the same
Speaker 1: time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief, and
Speaker 1: then immediately anger because we felt guilt. And you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, It's just it's relentless, these emotions. When
Speaker 1: it's fresh, you know, you feel literally every single one
Speaker 1: that's on the rainbow. Of all the colors we felt,
Speaker 1: we felt all of them. And I think when it
Speaker 1: was the very beginning I think for me, it was
Speaker 1: just holding the people holding me, you know, being in
Speaker 1: just being in the space with me. They didn't have
Speaker 1: to say anything if they didn't know what to say,
Speaker 1: you know, and when we did sort of start talking
Speaker 1: about it, we first started saying, this sucks. I can't
Speaker 1: believe this is happening.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It was if I was feeling angry, then they would
Speaker 1: be angry with me. If I was if I was sad,
Speaker 1: then they were sad with me. So it was amazing.
Speaker 1: They were amazing at being there for me in those ways.
Speaker 1: And you know, I think it is difficult to know
Speaker 1: what to say and how to be there for someone,
Speaker 1: but I think following them and how they're reacting is
Speaker 1: also really good. Like taking the cue from how they're
Speaker 1: responding is a good way to respond back to someone.
Speaker 1: And you know, checking in, you know, my friends that
Speaker 1: knew checked in with me, how are you feeling today?
Speaker 1: You know, And then if I didn't want to talk
Speaker 1: about they were like, okay, let me know when you
Speaker 1: are ready, you know, so just you know, they were
Speaker 1: checking in, you know, making sure. And then you know,
Speaker 1: my best friend, she who she experienced us as well.
Speaker 1: She continues to check in with me. You know, this
Speaker 1: is three years later and we still talk about it.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Like, can you believe it? You would
Speaker 1: have a three year old. I'm like, I know, And
Speaker 1: it's just we we get to have these moments together
Speaker 1: of we would both have a three year old right now.
Speaker 1: That's and we think about that and we deal with
Speaker 1: that and we grieve them. We grieve the loss of
Speaker 1: that potential and that direction and life, you know, that
Speaker 1: thread that didn't happen in this path. So female friendships
Speaker 1: are incredible and they're beautiful, and I think it's really
Speaker 1: important for women to have women in their life that
Speaker 1: they can they can go to and they can talk
Speaker 1: to you about these things because we can relate to
Speaker 1: each other in other ways that I think, you know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't get from my husband, and being able to
Speaker 1: go to her was so special and really helpful. So
Speaker 1: I just I think also have patience with yourself, and
Speaker 1: if you know someone who's going through that, have patience
Speaker 1: with them because it's a rollercoaster. And you know, she
Speaker 1: was my friend, she was going through this too, and
Speaker 1: I was feeling emotions and I was feeling heartbroken because
Speaker 1: I know because she was heartbroken, so I was feeling
Speaker 1: emotions as well, and I just have to be patient
Speaker 1: because it's happening to her so at her pace, at
Speaker 1: her time, when she's ready, when she wants to hear,
Speaker 1: when she wants to talk about it, we can. And
Speaker 1: we both kind of just we both shared that understanding
Speaker 1: with each other.
Speaker 2: Something powerful, really powerful that you said was I wasn't
Speaker 2: ready for someone to be there for me yet. And
Speaker 2: I think that's such a really remarkable insight. As I
Speaker 2: was listening to I was thinking, often when we see
Speaker 2: people who are struggling, because their struggle causes us discomfort,
Speaker 2: we want to it for them. And so if I'm
Speaker 2: speaking to a friend who is like, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: my friend's going through this, and my partner's going through this,
Speaker 2: and they're spiraling, and we're so uncomfortable with their discomfort
Speaker 2: that we want to fix it to relieve our own discomfort,
Speaker 2: not realizing that that person may need to feel and
Speaker 2: experience all of it and to let it all out
Speaker 2: in their own way. And I love what you just
Speaker 2: said of I just wasn't ready for someone to be
Speaker 2: there for me yet, And I think that's a great
Speaker 2: note for all of us to ask ourselves, like am
Speaker 2: I ready for someone to be there for me yet?
Speaker 2: And if I'm trying to help someone, are they truly
Speaker 2: ready for me to be there for them? And one
Speaker 2: of the things that I've seen and you mentioned as
Speaker 2: well when we were talking, this idea about how there's
Speaker 2: so much pressure also on the couple. So there's you're
Speaker 2: both individually dealing with loss and grief. There's like a
Speaker 2: dynamic that you go through with each other because you're
Speaker 2: both at different spaces of healing, You're both at different timelines,
Speaker 2: the waves come differently. It's affected both of you, but
Speaker 2: then you're both trying to be there for each other.
Speaker 2: Like it's quite a unique relations it's quite a unique situation.
Speaker 2: Walk us through how you navigated that overwhelming pressure and
Speaker 2: feeling together as well, and what did it take to reconnect?
Speaker 2: And I mean, I don't even think it's finding normalcy.
Speaker 2: It's like evolving. But what does that look like?
Speaker 1: I mean, my husband is so kind, he's so he's
Speaker 1: very he's very gentle, he's very he's very understanding. He
Speaker 1: knows I'm an emotional person. He knows I feel things deeply,
Speaker 1: like heavily, and he knows that I was distraught. You know,
Speaker 1: he could see that I was. I'm even I'm even
Speaker 1: feeling it now, you know, just all these different things
Speaker 1: all at the same time, and he's a supportive partner
Speaker 1: to me. And I think what was really helpful for
Speaker 1: us was, you know, I think he had a really
Speaker 1: great understanding and he's he was so wonderful during those
Speaker 1: times for me. He I think for him, he understood, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is something that he's like, Okay, I'm I'm feeling.
Speaker 1: I also can't speak for him obviously, because this these
Speaker 1: this this is his. These are his feelings and his
Speaker 1: journey as well. So I'm as I'm saying this, it's
Speaker 1: more just like collectively what you know, we both went through.
Speaker 1: It was the shared experience that I'm touching on and
Speaker 1: things that he did say and express to me. So
Speaker 1: you know, I felt that he had a really great
Speaker 1: understanding of, you know, the equal amount of heartbreak of loss.
Speaker 1: You know, he was feeling that too, and we got
Speaker 1: we had a shared experience in that, and I think
Speaker 1: he also a really great understanding of this is physically
Speaker 1: happening to her as well as it is emotionally happening.
Speaker 1: To her, he knew it would take me longer to
Speaker 1: gain perspective, to start my healing process, to you know,
Speaker 1: be able to adjust or you know, process my emotions,
Speaker 1: just because I think, you know, he said to me,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever I feel like i'm feeling, I know
Speaker 1: you're feeling a tenfolds. I know what you are going
Speaker 1: through is a physical reaction in your body of change,
Speaker 1: and then the change of becoming pregnant, the change of
Speaker 1: losing that pregnancy, the emotional change from all of those things.
Speaker 1: So for us, it was really helpful that he was
Speaker 1: super understanding, and you know, he's really great at navigating
Speaker 1: emotion as well. And I think it was helpful for
Speaker 1: me when he talked about it with me, when he
Speaker 1: would say things like today is the day it happened,
Speaker 1: and he's reminding me and he's the one talking about it.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel less alone that he still remembers it,
Speaker 1: that he still carries it with him, because sometimes, you know,
Speaker 1: just because it's we've had some time and we've had
Speaker 1: some distance, I know I carry this with me forever.
Speaker 1: You know, I know I will, because this happened to
Speaker 1: me in more ways than one, and I worry sometimes
Speaker 1: you know or I did that, Well, maybe he won't
Speaker 1: feel that way, like maybe he'll move on fast, or
Speaker 1: maybe he'll forget about it, maybe all these things and
Speaker 1: and then you feel sad and you know, different emotions
Speaker 1: around that, and like, I know that that can be
Speaker 1: really complicated in a dynamic of loss of their moving on.
Speaker 1: Oh they're forgetting about this, they're not talking about this anymore.
Speaker 1: So for me, what was really helpful is because I
Speaker 1: know that he went through this too. I love that
Speaker 1: he checks in with me. I love that he talks
Speaker 1: about it with me. I love that he also says
Speaker 1: things like can you believe we would maybe have had
Speaker 1: a three year old? Oh? My god, do you think
Speaker 1: about that too? It made me feel so seen, like
Speaker 1: so heard, and that he sees me all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, he sees when people We've been married for
Speaker 1: almost a year now, so he sees when people make
Speaker 1: comments like, oh, when you guys gonna have kids? Or
Speaker 1: are you thinking about having kids? And people ask you know,
Speaker 1: it's a harmless question, and I understand why people ask it,
Speaker 1: and it's it's I'm not angry that people ask that question.
Speaker 1: I think it's part of society. You know, people want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. You know, people are excited about
Speaker 1: having starting families. If we want to start a family,
Speaker 1: which we do, and we've spoken with our friends that
Speaker 1: we would want to have a family one day. So
Speaker 1: I understand why they're asking us those questions. But not
Speaker 1: everybody knows that I went through this, and at that time,
Speaker 1: I mean, now maybe everybody everybody will know I went
Speaker 1: through this way. I wasn't ready for everybody to know
Speaker 1: that I was going through this, and I had to
Speaker 1: deal with those questions internally, and it was painful to
Speaker 1: hear those questions. You know, people would make comments because
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends had babies during COVID, and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, oh, you know, everyone had all these babies,
Speaker 1: you know, during COVID, and everyone was getting pregnant and
Speaker 1: I did and I was pregnant and I didn't have
Speaker 1: a baby. So I would hear comments like that. I
Speaker 1: would hear things like that. Oh. Also people assume that
Speaker 1: maybe I have had a kid and they just don't
Speaker 1: know yet. Oh did you have a kid? Were you
Speaker 1: one of those girls during COVID that had a kid.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, god, I know what you mean. When
Speaker 1: you're saying that, but you have no idea. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm not. So he would sort of see
Speaker 1: me and like see that I was dealing with that
Speaker 1: internally and trying to process socializing and you know, navigating
Speaker 1: these comments because it's nobody's fault that they're asking it,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's just normal, it's just life, right,
Speaker 1: So I have to I do have to grow from this.
Speaker 1: I have to be able to handle this. I have
Speaker 1: to be able to talk about this again. I do
Speaker 1: have to be able to be okay. And I wasn't
Speaker 1: always okay. And I think he saw that I wasn't
Speaker 1: always okay, and I could tell that he was hurt
Speaker 1: when I was hurt. I could tell that he he
Speaker 1: was feeling what I was feeling, you know. And I
Speaker 1: also shared it with him too, because people can't read
Speaker 1: your mind. You know. This is my partner, this is
Speaker 1: my life partner. This is the person that I decided
Speaker 1: that I want to spend life with and do life with.
Speaker 1: So I have to do life with them, right, So
Speaker 1: I have to make a point to share Today I'm
Speaker 1: feeling extra bad because it's the week of my miscarriage.
Speaker 1: It's the anniversary week. I'm not going to feel good
Speaker 1: this week. You know, I say that, I expressed that
Speaker 1: he cannot read my mind. He has no idea what
Speaker 1: I'm feeling unless I'm saying it. So, you know, I
Speaker 1: it's a two way street that I share with him
Speaker 1: and that he sees me and he understands me. So
Speaker 1: and he does. He's really great at understanding how I emote.
Speaker 1: You know, my tells my you know, physical things that
Speaker 1: maybe I do, or he's like, she's nervous, she's up
Speaker 1: that I could tell she's holding back tears right now.
Speaker 1: He helps remove me from the said situation, you know,
Speaker 1: So learning each other and sharing with each other, and
Speaker 1: he knows those things and he's been able to learn
Speaker 1: those things because I've shared them with him and I've
Speaker 1: shown him and told him, and vice versa. He's shared
Speaker 1: with me and told me and shown me how I
Speaker 1: can care and love and be there for him. So
Speaker 1: I think just for a couple in this scenario, however,
Speaker 1: you're dealing with the loss of a pregnancy or a child,
Speaker 1: because I know people can see in many different ways
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of stress in starting a family
Speaker 1: on multiple different types of relationships and partners and spouses
Speaker 1: and how you're going about it and how you're dealing
Speaker 1: with and what you're going through and you know what
Speaker 1: you're doing with each other and how you're your journey
Speaker 1: with with that is is unique to you, to your
Speaker 1: both of your situations, and the way that you guys
Speaker 1: communicate with each other is important. And learning each other
Speaker 1: and asking for something is there's no there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with asking for something and then they're able to adjust
Speaker 1: and do that for you. So I feel like that's
Speaker 1: something that I've learned as well, is being open and
Speaker 1: making sure I'm sharing. And you know, he's really great
Speaker 1: at just innately because we've known each other and we're
Speaker 1: we're we love each other's he's good at, you know,
Speaker 1: knowing and figuring out those little things that I do
Speaker 1: for himself and just seeing me. But also I've shared
Speaker 1: a lot with him, and he listens and he adapts
Speaker 1: and he changes for those things for me and does
Speaker 1: those things for me. So I think that communication is
Speaker 1: probably the number one most important thing and also the
Speaker 1: most difficult thing. I know. Communicating is so difficult. How
Speaker 1: do you be vulnerable? How do you share these things?
Speaker 1: Am I ready to talk about this. I want to
Speaker 1: say this, and you know, I don't know. I think,
Speaker 1: just say it and ask for it and communicate it,
Speaker 1: because again, you know, they may have no idea that
Speaker 1: that's even going on in your head and they have
Speaker 1: something completely different going on in their head.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, it's so true, and I appreciate you sharing that
Speaker 2: because I think a lot of people are both dealing
Speaker 2: with the grief and then they're dealing with the loss
Speaker 2: of the relationship they had and the one they thought
Speaker 2: they were going to have when they had a child
Speaker 2: together as well, and so communications at the core and
Speaker 2: the heart of all of that, because it's so multi
Speaker 2: layed and so complex, Taylor, as I was listening to you,
Speaker 2: and I asked this question very sensitively, and I ask
Speaker 2: it in order to hopefully help people who are listening.
Speaker 3: As well, like where.
Speaker 2: How do you rEFInd the confidence to want to think
Speaker 2: about a family again and try again? Because and I
Speaker 2: ask it very sincerely and sensitively thinking about people listening
Speaker 2: who are like I don't think I can ever Tryga,
Speaker 2: because it was so pain and that's generally a human
Speaker 2: reaction to pain. If it was so painful, I can't
Speaker 2: go there again, Yet I have this desire to have
Speaker 2: a family, Like, how for you do you know when
Speaker 2: you're ready to think about it again even or open
Speaker 2: up to the idea.
Speaker 1: I know I want one. I don't think i've I
Speaker 1: don't think i'm very I haven't. I don't know actually
Speaker 1: if I've confronted that for myself. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: think i've I've gone there where. One day I'm going
Speaker 1: to be trying to have a family and you know,
Speaker 1: maybe that stick is going to say pregnant. Is it
Speaker 1: going to bring back all these emotions? And how am
Speaker 1: I going to deal with that again? Oh gosh, I
Speaker 1: have no idea because you know, I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1: I'm still not ready for a child and and I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to think about it, and I'm not ready
Speaker 1: to start having a family, and I don't know when
Speaker 1: that is. And you know a lot of people who've
Speaker 1: had children are like, you'll never know. The timing's never
Speaker 1: right all this stuff and everyone's journey is different, and
Speaker 1: that I have no plan. I have no timeline of
Speaker 1: when I'm going to start a family, when I'm going
Speaker 1: to do that, how I'm going to do it? I
Speaker 1: don't know and I also have no idea what I'm
Speaker 1: about to confront when I start trying again. You know,
Speaker 1: is it going to be really easy? Am I going?
Speaker 1: Is it going to be fine? Did this scenario happen
Speaker 1: to me simply because of the IUD? Or well I
Speaker 1: experience this again because you know, a pregnancy is a
Speaker 1: new organism in your body. It's like a technically I
Speaker 1: don't know it's I could only I think of it
Speaker 1: maybe as almost like a bacteria. That's like it's introducing
Speaker 1: like a new thing inside of your body. And a
Speaker 1: miscarriage is a rejection of that, your body being like
Speaker 1: that shouldn't be here, what is this? This is new?
Speaker 1: And sometimes it takes time to a job. Your body
Speaker 1: has to be like, oh, that's what that is. So
Speaker 1: maybe it takes a couple of tries, and you know
Speaker 1: that's why your body is doing that. I don't know
Speaker 1: why my body did that. Probably the most likely, if
Speaker 1: doctors are listening, they'll probably be like, oh, it's the IUD.
Speaker 1: That's why I was like, Okay, okay, fine, that's why.
Speaker 1: But I guess I'll sort of I maybe I'll be
Speaker 1: able to speak on that more when I'm in the
Speaker 1: headspace of actively trying or if and when I do
Speaker 1: have a child, like to be able to touch on
Speaker 1: that again. But I think I'm nervous, you know, I
Speaker 1: do have fears about getting to that stage in my life,
Speaker 1: and I'm worried about what I'm going to start feeling
Speaker 1: when I am pregnant again. I want to enjoy the process.
Speaker 1: I want to be you know, excited, I want to
Speaker 1: feel all of those things. But unfortunately, because of what
Speaker 1: I've I went through, I know that in the beginning
Speaker 1: I won't. I'll feel fear. I'm going to be afraid.
Speaker 1: I know I'm going to be scared. I know I'm
Speaker 1: going to have like anxiety about it until who knows when,
Speaker 1: maybe the entire pregnancy. I don't know, But I know
Speaker 1: I've been through this before. I I know I can
Speaker 1: handle this. I'm stronger because of this. If it happens
Speaker 1: to me again, I'm going to be okay. You know,
Speaker 1: look at how far I've come, look at what I
Speaker 1: how I handled this, like what we went through like.
Speaker 1: I have confidence in that at least, But I also
Speaker 1: I have no idea what that is going to look
Speaker 1: like for me until I start doing that, or until
Speaker 1: it happens. So you know, I would I would say
Speaker 1: for me, how I can rationalize it is I'm stronger
Speaker 1: because of this I've handled I've been through this this thing,
Speaker 1: and I've I've dealt with something that was really difficult
Speaker 1: for me personally to go through and I came out
Speaker 1: the other side. Whether or not I'm fully done yet,
Speaker 1: we don't know. We'll we'll figure it out when we
Speaker 1: get there. But right now, all I can say is
Speaker 1: I feel confident that I'm I know I'm gonna be okay.
Speaker 1: No matter what, I'm going to be okay. I can
Speaker 1: get through anything. I can do this. Like I have
Speaker 1: a great support in my husband and my family and
Speaker 1: my friends. They were all there for me. They showed
Speaker 1: their love and support. I was there for me. I
Speaker 1: was there for myself. I showed up, you know. So
Speaker 1: I know I can show up for myself. I know
Speaker 1: I can be there. I know I can pick myself
Speaker 1: back up again and start walking and make it, you know,
Speaker 1: make those steps towards healing again. So we're resilient as people,
Speaker 1: as humans, and having faith in our resilience and in
Speaker 1: our strength and in our ability to find healing and
Speaker 1: find growth. I think we forget and we doubt ourselves
Speaker 1: sometimes that we can do that, we can do, we
Speaker 1: can get through that.
Speaker 3: Thank you for such an honest answer.
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 2: will be able to resonate and connect with that, this
Speaker 2: idea of I don't know, let's see when I get
Speaker 2: that done, even if I'm ready to answer that question.
Speaker 2: And I think I think people listening to that will
Speaker 2: a sense of relief because I think that naterally, again,
Speaker 2: like you said, when you go through it, you have
Speaker 2: to get into tactical mode of how do we make
Speaker 2: sure it's done and clean and everything's okay? And then
Speaker 2: we get into okay, how do I start? And it's
Speaker 2: you almost don't give yourself that space. So thank you
Speaker 2: so much for giving everyone space by even having that answer.
Speaker 2: It's really beautiful and powerful to hear.
Speaker 3: Taylor.
Speaker 2: You've been so gracious and kind with your time today,
Speaker 2: with your energy, with your soul, like I really feel
Speaker 2: like you've led us in which is so kind. I
Speaker 2: really hope you feel we've honored Tait and given a
Speaker 2: chance for you to express your love for Tate and
Speaker 2: also honored your experiences.
Speaker 3: And you know, I feel like with your whole career
Speaker 3: and everything.
Speaker 2: It's almost like I find that, you know, when you've
Speaker 2: been modeling from such a young age and you've been
Speaker 2: in the public eye, like so much of your career
Speaker 2: becomes about your looks, your age, your you know, those
Speaker 2: things become big and as you transform and evolve as
Speaker 2: a human too, as you're starting you know, Titan Taylor,
Speaker 2: and you're starting a company, or you started a company
Speaker 2: that's doing all this incredible purposeful work and you built
Speaker 2: a content platform and a platform where people can find
Speaker 2: amazing products, amazing services, amazing partnerships for their pets and
Speaker 2: their dogs and everything else.
Speaker 3: Like, walk us through.
Speaker 2: How you see that evolution for yourself of coming from
Speaker 2: an indust in a space that is defined by these
Speaker 2: external things of looks and age and fitness and everything,
Speaker 2: and then finding your path through that.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, I think, you know, they really play such
Speaker 1: a big role with each other. I think why I
Speaker 1: even wanted to start Tate and Taylor and start a
Speaker 1: business and be in the pet space. Obviously, I have
Speaker 1: a huge passion for animals and dogs, Like this is
Speaker 1: so much more to me than just a company. I'm
Speaker 1: doing this because this is absolutely, one hundred percent. Like
Speaker 1: the thing I love most in the world is my
Speaker 1: dog Tait and my dog Salem. I have now too,
Speaker 1: and they're just so incredible and amazing and they change.
Speaker 1: They've changed my life in so many ways. And even
Speaker 1: Salem now has impack in my life and so many
Speaker 1: different ways than Tate did. And I'm so excited about
Speaker 1: the journey and the life that I'm going to live
Speaker 1: with him and the things he's about to teach me
Speaker 1: and show me. And I don't think I would even
Speaker 1: be able to know how to do that and build
Speaker 1: something with intention and purpose if I hadn't had my
Speaker 1: career before. You know, I started modeling when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1: I don't have a traditional education in that sense, but
Speaker 1: I've learned so much from my job and from working
Speaker 1: at a young age and traveling the world and having
Speaker 1: so many experiences. I feel like I learned by doing,
Speaker 1: and you know, by being able to see how things work,
Speaker 1: and you know, people producing fashion collections and watching them
Speaker 1: make the clothes on me to walking in the fashion
Speaker 1: show and seeing how things are done is really interesting.
Speaker 1: And being a part of a photo shoot and all
Speaker 1: the different areas and everyone has a different job and
Speaker 1: seeing how it all comes together and how everybody works
Speaker 1: and all the puzzle pieces kind of like you know,
Speaker 1: as I'm sure you know, it's just like it's interesting
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of different layers to what goes
Speaker 1: into something like a photo shoot or you know, a
Speaker 1: campaign or a video or a movie or you know,
Speaker 1: a fashion show. And it was really fun and exciting
Speaker 1: for me to witness and see those things and do
Speaker 1: those things. And you know, I think modeling has been
Speaker 1: it is a lot about It is about physically what
Speaker 1: I look like. One hundred percent, like I'm a model
Speaker 1: because of how I look. I know that. So it's
Speaker 1: an interesting thing to go from. You know, I'm here
Speaker 1: because of how I look, but also I feel like,
Speaker 1: after a certain extent, I'm still here because of who
Speaker 1: I am, and I'm still hearing people continue hopefully to
Speaker 1: work with me because we have fun together and we
Speaker 1: build relationships and they get to know me, and it
Speaker 1: becomes more than just this you know, surface transaction of
Speaker 1: she looks a certain way, she fits the bill physically
Speaker 1: of what we're looking for, so we're going to book her.
Speaker 1: I think after fourteen years, you know, you start knowing
Speaker 1: people and establishing relationships and becoming friends with people in
Speaker 1: the industry, and then people want to work with you
Speaker 1: because they like you, they like hanging out with you.
Speaker 1: It's like a lot of industries, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: The more you are in it, the more you do it,
Speaker 1: the more friends you make, the more connections you feel
Speaker 1: like you have with people, and the less it becomes
Speaker 1: about how you look, and it becomes a lot about
Speaker 1: who you are actually. Like the my interpretation of my
Speaker 1: career in modeling, I feel like it's been with people
Speaker 1: that I enjoy working with, and I get to work
Speaker 1: with them again and again and again, and I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that I now know so many people in
Speaker 1: the industry. And every time I get a call sheet,
Speaker 1: not every time, but I get these call sheets and
Speaker 1: I see who's going to be on set and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I haven't seen this person and you know,
Speaker 1: however many years, and I'm so excited to work with
Speaker 1: them again and do that. So to me, it's maybe
Speaker 1: it starts off that way, and modeling is about the
Speaker 1: way that I look and how I physically am, But
Speaker 1: then I think it becomes a lot deeper than that. So,
Speaker 1: you know, people establishing those connections with me as like
Speaker 1: taught me how to to grow and you know, and
Speaker 1: change and just they've taught me so much about life
Speaker 1: and different different backgrounds and different people and different things.
Speaker 1: So you know, I learned so much from it and
Speaker 1: I've grown so much from it, and you know, wanting
Speaker 1: to start my own business. I feel like I'm able
Speaker 1: to do that because of everything that I've done in
Speaker 1: my modeling career and I really just I see them
Speaker 1: so much a part of each other, and I want
Speaker 1: to be in the pet space and have this this
Speaker 1: business because it's something that I also love to do,
Speaker 1: Like I love my job, I love modeling, and I
Speaker 1: really believe in pursuing things that you love to do.
Speaker 1: And you know, maybe I won't be a model forever.
Speaker 1: I have no idea because it's it's not a very
Speaker 1: consistent lifestyle. As much as I love it, I'm you
Speaker 1: never know. I you know, I just got a text
Speaker 1: message today that I'm going to Paris on Thursday. So
Speaker 1: you know, maybe if when I do start trying to
Speaker 1: have a family, and if I have a family and
Speaker 1: my family is growing and growing and growing, or you know,
Speaker 1: I have all these hopes and dreams, have a big family,
Speaker 1: it'll be more difficult to do my modeling career to
Speaker 1: the extent that I'm doing it now. And I also
Speaker 1: love dogs, and I love my dog, and I love,
Speaker 1: you know, animals, and I love that people love their animals.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to create something that I wish existed
Speaker 1: with my life and my journey and path with Tate.
Speaker 1: And I'm creating something that I really want and need
Speaker 1: with Salem, my my new dog now that I rescued,
Speaker 1: and because we're going through so many different things and
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to, you know, have be able to
Speaker 1: build on the experience I've had from modeling and apply
Speaker 1: it to what I'm doing now with Titan Taylor and
Speaker 1: build something with purpose, build something with you know, meaning
Speaker 1: something that I'm passionate about doing, something that I love.
Speaker 1: It's it's my lifestyle. It's you know, I'm that crazy
Speaker 1: dog lady that every time I see a dog on
Speaker 1: the street, I'm like, hello, how are you nice to
Speaker 1: meet you? What's your name? I just I love dogs
Speaker 1: and I love animals in general too, So I really
Speaker 1: think that dogs are connectors. And I've met a lot
Speaker 1: of people and had so many amazing interesting conversations because
Speaker 1: of our dogs. If you're out walking your dog and
Speaker 1: people stop you, Oh my god, what kind of dog
Speaker 1: is that? Oh my god, you're so beautiful? Is you know,
Speaker 1: are they a boy or are they a girl? What's
Speaker 1: their name? And and the next thing you know, you're
Speaker 1: having a full blown conversation with a complete and total stranger.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm in a safe space. You know.
Speaker 1: It's it's really interesting. And I as a shy I
Speaker 1: started out really shy and kind of an introverted person.
Speaker 1: Having Tate, everybody loved him. People were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's the cutest dog I've ever seen. And I had
Speaker 1: to open up. I had to have conversations with people,
Speaker 1: and he helped me do that, and he helped me
Speaker 1: connect with people. And you know, someone that works with
Speaker 1: me on Tate and Taylor. I met through Tate in
Speaker 1: my building, you know, because we had like a doggy
Speaker 1: play date group chat in the building and she invited
Speaker 1: us and you know, our dogs were playing and we
Speaker 1: connected and now she's helping me, you know, build Bill
Speaker 1: Tate and Taylor. So I love dogs. I think that
Speaker 1: there's there are just amazing and and they're connectors, and
Speaker 1: it's something that I love so much and find so
Speaker 1: much joy in. And I hope that people, you know,
Speaker 1: receive that and see that and are excited about it,
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm really passionate about how I take
Speaker 1: care of my dog and the love I want to
Speaker 1: give him. I want to give give him the best
Speaker 1: life possible. Because they're not with us forever is you know,
Speaker 1: I know very well, and I want to cherish every
Speaker 1: single second I possibly can with them. And I know
Speaker 1: so many pet pet people and people who have pets
Speaker 1: want that as well. And you know, there's definitely a
Speaker 1: lack of community. I think in the pet industry there
Speaker 1: is community, but there's not like a place. I feel
Speaker 1: like there wasn't a place to go for information to
Speaker 1: connect to other people. And I really hope to build
Speaker 1: that and grotate and tailor into something where people feel
Speaker 1: like this is happening to me and I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do. Maybe we can help you figure that out.
Speaker 1: So that's sort of the intention in doing what we're doing.
Speaker 1: You know, we have the online store, We're like curating products,
Speaker 1: We're looking for amazing founders and brands and people who
Speaker 1: are doing innovative things in the pet space with whether
Speaker 1: that's treats that are with really great quality, we have
Speaker 1: women owned businesses. I love the idea of supporting women
Speaker 1: and you know, young cool entrepreneurs or is doing really
Speaker 1: interesting things and maybe helping do that together and giving
Speaker 1: them a space and a platform to showcase and talk
Speaker 1: about their product and why it's great and and why
Speaker 1: it's different, and you know, help them sort of just
Speaker 1: like share what they're doing with the world. Because there's
Speaker 1: so many passionate, you know entrepreneurs out there who are
Speaker 1: starting these companies in the pet space and they're so
Speaker 1: dedicated and they have just as much passion and love
Speaker 1: as I do for their dogs, and and they've gone
Speaker 1: through something it's completely different than maybe I've gone through
Speaker 1: with Tate, you know. So it's really interesting people to
Speaker 1: speak with businesses and speak with you know, founders about
Speaker 1: why they started their company, what their goal, and what
Speaker 1: their mission and their drive is, why they're doing what
Speaker 1: they're doing, you know, challenges they've faced as women in
Speaker 1: the industry, as you know, just an entrepreneur, being an
Speaker 1: entrepreneur in general, there's there's so many things that you
Speaker 1: know we would we want to touch on in in
Speaker 1: that space that I think there's just I felt it
Speaker 1: wasn't there when I was going through that with Tait,
Speaker 1: you know, and I really want to create that for
Speaker 1: people and bring people together and have it be fun
Speaker 1: and you know, really easy and exciting, you know, to
Speaker 1: care and like find cool products and great and things
Speaker 1: at work that you know we like for our pets.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's a really powerful stop. No, it's a
Speaker 2: really powerful intention and powerful mission. And it's it's so
Speaker 2: clear and evident, and I feel like you're going to
Speaker 2: revolutionize the pet space. It's it's it's obvious that your
Speaker 2: driving passion is true. And a couple of lessons I
Speaker 2: took away just listening to you. One was this idea.
Speaker 2: I think we live in a world where when we
Speaker 2: discover something we're passionate about, we like to discount our
Speaker 2: past experience and make it seem like, oh.
Speaker 3: Now I've found it.
Speaker 2: Whatever I did before was kind of like it was there,
Speaker 2: but now.
Speaker 3: I found it.
Speaker 2: And what I love hearing about from you, and I
Speaker 2: definitely resonate with what you said, it's like, actually every
Speaker 2: stage of your career unlocks the opportunity, the ability, the ideas,
Speaker 2: the resources, the connectivity to do the next thing. And
Speaker 2: I think if anyone out there is right now you're listening,
Speaker 2: and you're going to hate my job, I hate where
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 3: I don't like what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I promise you there's some skill or some lesson or
Speaker 2: some person or some contact that you met through that
Speaker 2: that could help you build the next part of yourself
Speaker 2: and overall your business.
Speaker 3: And your venture.
Speaker 2: In this direction you've gone in is truly a journey
Speaker 2: of pain to purpose, of passion to purpose, of using
Speaker 2: your platform for a purpose. And I think that it's
Speaker 2: such a beautiful example that so many of us, no
Speaker 2: matter what our pains are, what our stresses are, what
Speaker 2: our challenges are, that we can transform them into an
Speaker 2: offering to help other people who are going through the
Speaker 2: same time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, building a brand with intention, I think, and with
Speaker 1: a purpose to give back and help, I think is
Speaker 1: really important and something that especially in the PET space,
Speaker 1: I felt was lacking because there's so many areas I
Speaker 1: would love to tap into out, you know, just beyond
Speaker 1: the cancer funding and maybe even cancer research and getting
Speaker 1: into that and understanding why and how and you know,
Speaker 1: and as well as rescue. You know, we work with
Speaker 1: rescue organizations and my Salem, my dog, Salem, is a
Speaker 1: rescue and and that's an experience that he's been teaching
Speaker 1: me about and something that I want. I want to
Speaker 1: make a change and make an impact in. I think
Speaker 1: for me with Titan Taylor, the most important thing about
Speaker 1: this business is using it to make make an impact
Speaker 1: and do good things with it, and and use it
Speaker 1: to help people and help others and help dogs, you know,
Speaker 1: help people who have dogs or you know, hopefully animals
Speaker 1: pets in general. We'll get there one day. Well, if
Speaker 1: you have an iguana, great, maybe we will be able
Speaker 1: to help you with that. I don't know, who knows
Speaker 1: where it's going to go. That's what's so exciting. It's
Speaker 1: so new and it's so fresh, and right now we're
Speaker 1: dogs right now. So I'm obviously talking about dogs because
Speaker 1: that's what we are doing currently. I do have the
Speaker 1: hope and the optimism and the intention to want to
Speaker 1: do as much as I possibly can. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on one thing and then we
Speaker 1: can start growing from there and building on top of that.
Speaker 1: So in the pet space, there's just so much that
Speaker 1: I want to do and so much I want to accomplish,
Speaker 1: and I want to be able to build something that
Speaker 1: helps most importantly and that does give back, and that
Speaker 1: does have a drive and does have a cause, because
Speaker 1: there is a drive and there is a cause, and
Speaker 1: there is a reason behind everything that I'm doing, and
Speaker 1: its Tait. It's dedicated to him. It's dedicated to everything
Speaker 1: he taught me, the love I know he has for me,
Speaker 1: the love I have for him, and it's for everyone
Speaker 1: who's ever felt that way about a dog or a
Speaker 1: pet in their life. It's a dedication to that. It's
Speaker 1: a dedication to that feeling and knowing you want to
Speaker 1: take care of something, you love something so deeply. So
Speaker 1: do we We know that feeling, We understand that, and
Speaker 1: we want to make something and build something with you
Speaker 1: that is impactful and meaningful and helpful and connective and
Speaker 1: hopefully we can you know, build a great community and
Speaker 1: have incredible resources for people. So you know, we're this
Speaker 1: is just the beginning of our of our journey with it,
Speaker 1: and I'm really really excited about it.
Speaker 3: So well, congratulations Taylor.
Speaker 2: And we end every episode of On Purpose with a
Speaker 2: fast five, which you have to be answered in one
Speaker 2: word to one sentence maximum.
Speaker 1: I talk a lot before. We might have noticed from that.
Speaker 2: Yes, So, Taylor Hill, these are your final five. Question
Speaker 2: one is what is the best advice you've ever heard
Speaker 2: or received?
Speaker 1: Best advice is do what you love and the rest
Speaker 1: will come. My dad told me that.
Speaker 3: Great answer, all right.
Speaker 2: Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever
Speaker 2: heard or received?
Speaker 1: Maybe if you ignore it, it'll go away or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's absolutely not true.
Speaker 3: Good answer.
Speaker 2: Question number three, what's the first thing you do every
Speaker 2: morning and the last thing you do every night?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm really not a morning person. So first thing
Speaker 1: in the morning, I'm like, why am I awake? What's
Speaker 1: that alarm? Why what's happening? I'm very disoriented first thing
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I think I drink coffee. I
Speaker 1: need I need to have a cup of coffee. I'm
Speaker 1: not a morning person. And then at night, I love
Speaker 1: snuggling with my dog, kissing Salem and in the past,
Speaker 1: you know, kissing Tate, having our good night cuddles. You know,
Speaker 1: if I'm at home with my husband, this is more
Speaker 1: than one sentence. I've already failed, you know, saying good
Speaker 1: night and you know, having time, like you know, our
Speaker 1: connection with him.
Speaker 2: Question number four, what's something you learned lately? Something a
Speaker 2: skill that you picked up, a lesson that you learned recently.
Speaker 1: Not that recent, but lately I've been learning how to
Speaker 1: cook and doing it better, cooking more and being better
Speaker 1: at it. But that's taken time.
Speaker 3: Nice it does.
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question, If you could create one law
Speaker 2: that everyone in the world had to follow, what would
Speaker 2: it be?
Speaker 1: Always grow, you know, always change, like be willing to
Speaker 1: grow and change. I don't know how to apply that
Speaker 1: as a law, but I think growth is so important,
Speaker 1: and you know, acknowledging past mistakes and growing and changing
Speaker 1: from them is really important. Something I'm still learning and
Speaker 1: trying to do. But I think if we can all
Speaker 1: work on that and do that, maybe the world could
Speaker 1: be a better place.
Speaker 3: Absolutely well, sir Taylor.
Speaker 2: Hell everyone, Taylor, thank you so much for sharing your heart,
Speaker 2: your soul, your beautiful experiences. Thank you for being so
Speaker 2: open and honest with our community, and everyone's been listening
Speaker 2: and watching. I know that this would have affected you.
Speaker 2: I know you are friends and family who've been through
Speaker 2: some of these experiences that Taylor shared with us. Please
Speaker 2: pass this episode onto them, maybe even sit and listen
Speaker 2: to it with them and hold them through it. I
Speaker 2: would love you to use this episode as a way
Speaker 2: of having some of those uncomfortable, difficult conversations. And of
Speaker 2: course check out Tate and Taylor. Can't wait for you
Speaker 2: to give your dogs all the love that they deserve.
Speaker 2: And I want to say a big thank you again
Speaker 2: to Taylor for her presence, love and energies.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much, happy to have been here. Thank you.
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you will also love my
Speaker 2: interview with Kendall Jenna on setting boundaries to increase happiness
Speaker 2: and healing. You're in a child You.
Speaker 4: Could be reading something that someone is saying about you
Speaker 4: and being like, that is so unfair because that's not
Speaker 4: who I am and that really gets to me sometimes.
Speaker 4: But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like,
Speaker 4: but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?