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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. Meeting parents

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Speaker 1: online linked to less loving Relationships Oops meeting partners online

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Speaker 1: linked to less loving relationships.

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Speaker 2: What did I says?

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Speaker 1: That's about as Monday as Monday can get Tuesday, even

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Speaker 1: on a Tuesday. Well, when it's when it's a holiday,

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Speaker 1: this is like a Monday because we were gone, you know,

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Speaker 1: so now it's it was a short It was a

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Speaker 1: very short week, which was a fun week. Though if

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Speaker 1: anyone hasn't gone to we'll get back to the headline

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Speaker 1: if anyone hasn't gone to Chattanooga. Honestly, we were going

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Speaker 1: for the aquarium and then last minute my girlfriend Sarah

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Speaker 1: was like, you need to check out Rock City And

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Speaker 1: it was the cutest it was probably it was the

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Speaker 1: kid's highlight of the whole weekend. It was the rock City,

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Speaker 1: the cutest little town and I want to go back

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Speaker 1: without Roman next time a Fragle Rock. It was amazing

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Speaker 1: and we grew up on fraggle Rock, so it was

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Speaker 1: like the best. But I will say though I did

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Speaker 1: have it was so crowded that when we were going

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Speaker 1: a moment of I had a mom like pan, a

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Speaker 1: moment of panic, for sure, and the entire time I

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Speaker 1: kept going. This is why I said no to Special Forces.

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Speaker 1: This is why in this moment right here, I met

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Speaker 1: a kid's rock city and I can't even go, like

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Speaker 1: I'm freaking out in between these uh these you have

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Speaker 1: to go through this really narrow, I mean so narrow

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Speaker 1: where you can't I mean you had to go sideways

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Speaker 1: walk through it of these huge rock walls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's that moving the James frankl.

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Speaker 1: One, Yep, we'll watch it. I have no idea something

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Speaker 1: like that. But it's like I had to watch. I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to get because I know Jace has a

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Speaker 1: bit of anxiety, so it's fine, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: had to be like, Okay, this is so much fun.

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Speaker 1: And in my brain I'm like, you don't freak out, Jana,

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Speaker 1: Like you just keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing, Like

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Speaker 1: you can't show your kids that it's going to be stressful.

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Speaker 1: But the problem was is that it was a long line. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so we were stock so we were stuck, like you

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Speaker 1: couldn't go there were so many people going on this

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Speaker 1: path that you couldn't There was no there was no

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Speaker 1: space behind you, and there was no space in front

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Speaker 1: of you. You're just walking right in front of and

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Speaker 1: then someone's right behind you. And then when I saw

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Speaker 1: this long wall, I was like, we have to put

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Speaker 1: some distance because if I get stuck in the middle

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Speaker 1: of this thing, you're started people. I mean in my brain,

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I'm going to do. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, Like I played it out, but that was

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Speaker 1: Did it freak you out at all? That piece? Because

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Speaker 1: you stopped a little bit too.

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Speaker 2: The little whatever.

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Speaker 3: The second thing was, we went through all the fule thing,

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Speaker 3: we went through whether there was a proper line of

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Speaker 3: people and it was dark and we were under the ground.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was I'm going to.

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Speaker 3: Have to let it but a space pop because if

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Speaker 3: I get caught and someone in front of me is

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Speaker 3: not moving and that start to feel post for week,

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Speaker 3: then I'll just swing evos and.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's delete it ament and let up space.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And there's another part of the trail called the

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Speaker 1: fat Man Squeeze, and I'm like, we're gonna skip that part,

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Speaker 1: Like I just I mean again, it was one of

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Speaker 1: those moments where I was like, Decker, Jesse Decker. It

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Speaker 1: was is on Special Forces in this season, and she

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Speaker 1: kept saying, oh my gosh, you could totally do it,

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Speaker 1: and I've turned it down. There's no way. And that's

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Speaker 1: not you being rude to say no, it's just like,

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Speaker 1: there is absolutely no chance in hell I would be

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Speaker 1: And that's because when I did, I got as far

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Speaker 1: as the psychic owls and I that's when I pulled out.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't.

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Speaker 2: What if the quadrup wood the money.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I still don't think I could do it.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing, like it's it's well, and I always

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Speaker 1: said to myself, I'm like, maybe and I could. I

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Speaker 1: legit talked about my therapists before I pulled out. I said,

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Speaker 1: I've always done this thing where I feel like I

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Speaker 1: have to prove myself that can prove that I can

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Speaker 1: do it. And I've overcome anxiety. Yes, I've overcome anxiety

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Speaker 1: in many moments of my life, and I don't really

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Speaker 1: feel like I have to prove anything to myself anymore.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be stuck underground or like

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Speaker 1: in between those and having that like panic come up.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's for what point? Why Why haven't put

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Speaker 1: myself in that situation to do that it's like, it's

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Speaker 1: just going to bring up trauma of when I was

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Speaker 1: had that trapped feeling, and I don't and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do that, you know.

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Speaker 2: So I don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: So that's why, like, and Jesse kept saying, like you

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Speaker 1: can do it, I'm like, I don't. I was like, Jesse,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you understand I cannot do I was like,

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Speaker 1: I have PTSD from being trapped from someone trying to

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Speaker 1: kill me. And then the other piece of it is,

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Speaker 1: I'm like and on top of that, like that, I

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Speaker 1: just I'm so claustrophobic. So add the trauma and then

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Speaker 1: the claustrophobia and I mean it would be but they

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Speaker 1: are like now doing a couple. So I'm like, if

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Speaker 1: they did ask us to go as a couple, that.

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Speaker 3: Would be hilarious. You're having a panic attack, and I'm

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Speaker 3: sure in myself.

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Speaker 1: Here give me another round, man, Okay, because then anyways,

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Speaker 1: but let's go back to that.

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Speaker 3: Meeting partners Online link to Less Loving Relationships. They interviewed

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Speaker 3: six thousy six hundred people, But didn't you end up

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Speaker 3: reviewing the volunteered to participate in a study. The main

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Speaker 3: question of the study was whether meeting a partner offline

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Speaker 3: or online affects the intensity of experienced love and the

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Speaker 3: overall satisfaction with the relationship mm hm. Taking together, relationships

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Speaker 3: that start online tend to be less happy and less

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Speaker 3: loving than those that start offline. According to the study

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Speaker 3: of results. The scientists offers several explanations for this important finding.

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Speaker 3: A highlight this one bust. People who date online may

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Speaker 3: be confused by choice overload, and focusing too much on

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Speaker 3: physical attractiveness and not on character, which may lead to

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Speaker 3: bad partner choices. Also, people often lie about the age, height,

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Speaker 3: and other factors online dating. Last, but not least, people

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Speaker 3: who meet in real life have more shared interests than

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Speaker 3: those who meet online, since they often meet due to

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Speaker 3: these interests in the first place.

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Speaker 1: Do you agree, I mean, I feel like it's many

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Speaker 1: subtitles for that, but I feel like it's one of

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Speaker 1: those things where online is the way most people are meeting.

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Speaker 1: There are people nowadays anyways, I don't really see the

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Speaker 1: difference between meeting someone at a bar versus meeting someone

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Speaker 1: at online. I really don't like. I don't see for

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Speaker 1: someone that is a homebody like me, I wasn't going

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Speaker 1: to ever when I was single go out to a

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Speaker 1: bar or go to the gym or just randomly go

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Speaker 1: have lunch and then walk up to someone and say

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Speaker 1: hi to that, like I've never I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: just it's never really happened that way for me, and

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Speaker 1: I would. I think it's easier, well not, I mean

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Speaker 1: yes and no, but I think it's I think it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things where it's for people that it's

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Speaker 1: easier to meet people online. It just is. But I

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Speaker 1: think it's easier to cover up things online too, Like

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of people that when I've seen

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Speaker 1: people's profiles and then what they've actually looked like in person,

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Speaker 1: And that's speaking for the girl too, just from hearing

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Speaker 1: like from guys points of views of things. So I

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Speaker 1: think there's a lot you can cover up online. But

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Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, when you

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Speaker 1: meet someone you know, you'll get that feeling like this

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Speaker 1: isn't right or not.

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Speaker 3: I think it's online is a it's a dangerous one

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Speaker 3: because it's it's a platform where average people, average people,

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Speaker 3: but possibly less interesting people can make themselves appear more

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Speaker 3: interesting or better looking or better personalities just by what

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Speaker 3: they write on the profile. I think the biggest thing

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Speaker 3: about in it here it talks about people who meet

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Speaker 3: in real life have most shared interests that but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I don't really, I don't see how that applies. Doesn't

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Speaker 1: because okay, we meet our mine. So here's the deal.

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Speaker 1: Do we like things that are more together separate? Do

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Speaker 1: we do things that are Do we do things more

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Speaker 1: together or separate together? I would say we do it together,

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Speaker 1: but and we have the same shared interests.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean the benefit of seeing something like You've

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Speaker 3: made the point. If you meet someone at a bar,

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Speaker 3: you know no more about that person than you do

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Speaker 3: if you meet them online. The difference is you can

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Speaker 3: get a sense of the energy.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever lied to someone online, like a past

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Speaker 1: potential partner online?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And that's what I mean. It's for less

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Speaker 3: of people to maybe.

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Speaker 1: I think that question still is a little gray. Did

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Speaker 1: you have a girlfriend when you reached out to me?

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Speaker 1: We don't need to go back there. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's still a little gray in my mind. It's okay

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Speaker 1: under the bridge now, it's fine, Okay, I love o

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Speaker 1: guys just like justify things. I mean, I've done it too.

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Speaker 1: I justify the same thing. I'm like, well, we were

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Speaker 1: separated or you know. I think it's I think that

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Speaker 1: part is always going to be grey for people in

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Speaker 1: whatever area they're in. Like if you're not if you're

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Speaker 1: the non gray person, it's you were in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: If you were the gray person, you were not in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, you know. And I've been on both sides

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Speaker 1: of that where I'm like, well we were separated, I

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Speaker 1: can do whatever I wanted or you know. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I think you can always played two sides

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Speaker 1: to it. Interesting. But I think that you guys go

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Speaker 1: to just if you want to go out, go out.

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Speaker 1: If you want to meet online, I say, shoot your

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Speaker 1: shots on all of it. That's what I would say.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think an open mind is important with both.

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Speaker 3: I agree more beneficial if you if you meet them

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Speaker 3: face to face and you or you recognize this person

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Speaker 3: face to face in a kaffe or a bar, or

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Speaker 3: a restaurant or the gym, because then you get more

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Speaker 3: of a sense of what their natural energy is like.

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Speaker 1: So then are we doomed because we didn't have that?

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Speaker 2: No, I don't. I don't agree with the whole logic.

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Speaker 3: And people meet online and stay together for the rest

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Speaker 3: of the lives like we probably will do.

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Speaker 1: Probably what's the probably it was to get that reaction.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, this is what men do just to get

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Speaker 1: a reaction. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Honestly when it comes to dating, see, as long as

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Speaker 3: it's safe and you're intelligent, I don't think this was

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Speaker 3: a right or wrong way to meet.

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Speaker 1: Amen to that. Robin Wright reflects on raising children with

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Speaker 1: ex husband Sean Penn. We were both extremes. Robin is

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Speaker 1: the first to admit that she has regrets as a parent.

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Speaker 1: I have a huge regret as a mother and have

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Speaker 1: experienced the fallout of this regret for many years with

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Speaker 1: my kids. I wasn't hard enough on them right fifty nine,

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Speaker 1: told The Times of London an interview The House of

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Speaker 1: Cards actors shares two children, Dylan and Hopper, with her

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Speaker 1: ex husband Sean Penn. According to Wright, Sean was the

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Speaker 1: stricter parent, but he was gone so much of the time.

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Speaker 1: He'd come back and be the policeman and then he'd

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Speaker 1: leave me with the residue. Then I would soften the blow.

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Speaker 1: We were both extremes. They didn't get that gray area

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Speaker 1: in the middle. Gosh, this should just episode called the

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Speaker 1: gray Area, which is stern and that is what they needed.

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Speaker 1: Who do you think is the harder parent or I

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Speaker 1: guess the sterner parent between the roles.

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Speaker 2: Here, I think it's a loaded question.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm relaxed on some things that you're strict about,

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Speaker 3: and I'm strict on some things that you're.

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Speaker 2: Relaxed to it, which is a nice blend.

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Speaker 3: But I tend to go from like you've got a

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Speaker 3: gradual process when it comes to your disciplining, I've got

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Speaker 3: what do you mean, Like you'll communicate more to get

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Speaker 3: to a point where you start to get angry with them,

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Speaker 3: or you are a boundaries being broke, whereas I'm more

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Speaker 3: straight away no you don't, don't do that, or I'll

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Speaker 3: raise my voice slightly, or so I think I get

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Speaker 3: to the bad cops sooner than what you do. But

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Speaker 3: I think we've got a mix of both.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that, though, because the reaction that

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Speaker 1: you gave me when I go to bad cop is like, oh,

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Speaker 1: but I'm like, like to your point example, well, like

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Speaker 1: the other day at dinner, I had said, please eat

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Speaker 1: your food, please eat your food, please stop talking, please

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Speaker 1: eat your food. By like the third or fifth time.

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Speaker 2: A gradual process. That's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: You're freaking food now, Like I stop talking and it's

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Speaker 1: like but it's like you gave me the look of thought,

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Speaker 1: well if I did that, and I'm like, please pipe

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Speaker 1: in fricking okay, I was having a really bad day.

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Speaker 3: So if I would have and here's a difference. Here's

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Speaker 3: a difference between when I speak and when you speak.

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Speaker 3: Because if I would have used the words that you

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Speaker 3: used and the tone that you used it I would

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Speaker 3: have come across as the Scottish devil m Whereas yeah,

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Speaker 3: I would have said that to you. That's why I

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Speaker 3: looked at you like, well.

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Speaker 1: Because mom can. But I think it's I rarely have

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Speaker 1: that last because I because I do do the gradual

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Speaker 1: thing and they usually listen. But it's when I have

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Speaker 1: to get to like the fifth time, that's where and

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Speaker 1: if I'm offline already and then it's just my head pops.

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Speaker 1: But I do think think it's difficult in the co parenting.

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Speaker 1: It is and it isn't like I think you've now

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Speaker 1: started to be helpful with the bigs because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to always be the parent that is correcting them

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Speaker 1: because the when they go to their dads one day

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Speaker 1: a week, you know, it's like, what's seven, seven or

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Speaker 1: eight days a month. It's like they get the they

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Speaker 1: don't really have rules there, you know, like the rule.

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Speaker 1: I'll take that back. I know they have rules and

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Speaker 1: my ex and I are very aligned on manners and

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Speaker 1: things like that, but when it comes to things like

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Speaker 1: their rooms and putting things away, and we have more

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Speaker 1: structured things like that here, and so when I'm the

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Speaker 1: one riding them, it's it's like I don't want them

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Speaker 1: to then go. She was always so strict and they

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Speaker 1: don't want to come you know what I mean. Like

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Speaker 1: and so it's like I would like to have that

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Speaker 1: balance with you to come in more. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's happened before where I said can you please? When

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Speaker 1: you do hear me go for like the third correction,

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Speaker 1: can you please come in? And it's he goes, and well,

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Speaker 1: you're handling it. I don't want to handle it every time.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to be the only one

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Speaker 1: handling it. It becomes frustrating. I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: the always on them parent. What no, No, I'm just I'm

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Speaker 1: like me like it. Oh no, no, no, dumb like

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Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, I'm like, it's like a

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Speaker 1: I work good. I'm just but you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And then we've talked about that so many times and

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Speaker 1: you have gotten better at helping correct them.

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Speaker 3: I'm a lot more strength on. I would rather bring

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Speaker 3: them up to be more self sufficient. What is your

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Speaker 3: quickert to jump to help them?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and now.

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Speaker 3: Your response is to jump to help them. My response

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Speaker 3: is to not figure it out for yourself. And if

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Speaker 3: you need help, come and ask me.

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Speaker 1: And because of that, then they come to me. And

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Speaker 1: then it feels and it's like I want them to

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Speaker 1: be able to feel comfortable in coming to you. And

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Speaker 1: so if you always say do it yourself, I'm like, Alan,

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Speaker 1: please like ask if they can, and if they're not,

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Speaker 1: they're coming to you. So just like sometimes it's it's

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Speaker 1: like a it's a blend. But I think both of

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Speaker 1: our upbringings and different values and views are a good blend.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's I think it's good. I think

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Speaker 1: it's good. It's all it's all a work in progress,

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Speaker 1: but I love you, babe. This was a good one.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited for the month ahead. We've got a lot

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Speaker 1: coming up. I've got Vegas coming up in September for iHeart.

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Speaker 1: We've got Paris, One Tree Hill Convention, ball Break, we

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Speaker 1: just planned that. I'm really excited, and you got your

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Speaker 1: app coming out, so it's a it's going to be

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Speaker 1: a fun, hopefully god willing. This is where I get

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Speaker 1: like really like superstitious about everything, but I'm glad to

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Speaker 1: be on this journey with you.

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Speaker 2: I love you.

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Speaker 1: It's not a probably. We're gonna last forever and ever

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Speaker 1: and ever. Okay, bye bye