1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: My mother in law told my husband I cheated, so 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: I slapped her. 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:09,680 Speaker 2: Wow bank, Yeah, so what is with the chap? This 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 2: isn't the exact reverse order of you doing? What are 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 2: you doing? This is also I'll answer the question. 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: I'll give you foster a good relationship with your mother 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: in law and also foster good relationship with us by 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: joining our live stream every weekday at three pm on YouTube. 9 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 2: Get on over there, adopt me. 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: But this is from user individual savings thirty two, and 11 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: they say I read it. I made this throwaway because 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: I need some help if knowing if I should apologize 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: to my husband because yesterday I slapped my mother in 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: law right in front of him. For context, my husband 15 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: is white and I am mixed. My mom is Puerto 16 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: Rican and my dad is white. My mom has very 17 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: dark skinned and my dad is pretty fair skinned. I'm 18 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: pretty white passing, which for those who don't know, means 19 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 1: you can't tell that I am Latina unless I tell you. 20 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: I get to tell you. A running familial joke is 21 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: that melanin skips a generation because my maternal grandpa is 22 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,639 Speaker 1: also very fair, but my maternal great grandma is very brown. 23 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm assuming that this will come into fruition. This is 24 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: going to come back around a little old Uh, We'll 25 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: be coming around this mountain when she comes. When she comes, 26 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: we'll be coming around mountain when she comes. With that 27 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 1: out of the way, I'll get into my situation. I've 28 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: been with my husband for seven years, married five We 29 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: have a three year old girl, little girl who is 30 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: the light of my life. When she was born, she 31 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: had a head full of dark brown curls, dark brown eyes, 32 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: and a fairly alive complexion. 33 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,559 Speaker 2: I see you, I see you, put, I. 34 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: See you in the chat put, I see you in 35 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: the chow guys, put, I see you. 36 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 2: We know what's gonna happen. 37 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: What's gonna happen? John, guess what's gonna happen. 38 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 3: Yes, she's gonna accuse her of cheenie. Yeah, having another 39 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 3: man's baby. 40 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: Why is my son baby's so dark when you're so 41 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: white and he's so white. 42 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 2: Genetics? 43 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: Genetics? Who if you saw abo of the melanin skips 44 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: a generation. She looks like me. When I get tanned, 45 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: you can definitely tell she's part Latino. Despite knowing all this, 46 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: my mother in law has gotten into her tiny little 47 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: pea size stegosaur's brain that my daughter isn't my husband's. 48 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: She's been telling anyone who will listen that I must 49 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: have had an affair because there's no way her son, 50 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: I like snapping with each one, No way her son's 51 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 1: child could be that color. Yeah, how nice. My mother 52 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: in law has always been standoff as with me. She 53 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: never made a big effort to get to know me 54 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: and was always more polite than anything else. Mother in 55 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: law has made some offhanded comments before about Latino's, but 56 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: husband would brush them off because she's from another time. Oh, 57 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: I didn't know she was from racist time? 58 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, for Racistville, USA? Population? 59 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: Your mom, mom, Your mom's so racist that she's rac 60 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: that she's racist. Are there your mom's so racist jokes? 61 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know you got any of those? 62 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: You got any look up? Some of your mom's so racist? 63 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 1: Your mom's so racist that your mom's so racist that 64 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: she won't attend any black tux events. 65 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: Good job, congratulations, guys. I did it. Let's go home. 66 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: I did it. That's it anyway, from another time, that 67 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: time being racist time. I wanted to write off. I'm 68 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: just thinking of a superhero. It's like it's racist time 69 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: that doesn't have a costume and just does blackface. 70 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 2: Oh my fu. Anyway, this is my co host, ladies gentlemen. 71 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: Which is bad, by the way, taking a stand, taking 72 00:03:55,760 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: the easiest stands in the world, taking the easy days 73 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: of the world eight you know, But I'll take him. 74 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: Someone's got to do it. Someone's got someone's got to 75 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: do it. It's hard to defense between the races. Thank god, 76 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: all right. I wanted to write off her behavior as 77 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: just her not being educated enough. I realize now that 78 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: was my mistake because it gave her the okay to 79 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: keep going correct. When husband and I heard from sister 80 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: in law that mother in law was saying this, we 81 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: invited her over to talk about this. I was really 82 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: hoping we'd be able to fix this. However, what happened 83 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: was my mother in law was going on a rant 84 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: for like fifteen minutes. It consisted of her outing herself as. 85 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 2: Racis. Oh my god, you would get. 86 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: A racist, mom, you get a racist? 87 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 2: Would have thunk it? 88 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: Who would have thunk? And all the signs were pointing 89 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: to it. But you know what, we just didn't want 90 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: to believe it. 91 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:58,600 Speaker 2: But it's true. 92 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: But it's true. 93 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 2: Here we are. 94 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: It's kind of like when someone wraps up a guitar 95 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: as a gift and you're like, that looks like a guitar, 96 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,679 Speaker 1: and you kind of know everyone knows against the guitar, 97 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: but you take out the wrapper, like, oh, it's a guitar. 98 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 2: Very Christmas, it's very Christmas. 99 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: It's a racist all right, anyway, saying she knew girls 100 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: like me couldn't control themselves, that she knew from the 101 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: start what would happen the nerve I had to pass 102 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: my daughter off it as her also some very colorful slurs. 103 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: At least there's some color that she accepts. Husband and 104 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: I were frozen in shock because she hadn't even stepped 105 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: into the house and it was just screeching on her 106 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: doorstep like a pee brainedtereodactyl. I don't know why I'm 107 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: on the Jurassic vibes. What snapped me out of it 108 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: is when she started to insult my mom if saying 109 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: that wasn't bad enough, saying she probably did the same 110 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: to my Tricia D says a racist mother in law 111 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: on Reddit. 112 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 2: My word never would have sunk. Karen On read it. 113 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: Karen On read it, uh, saying she probably did the 114 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: same to my dad. I don't know what came over 115 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: me next. I've never hit someone before, but I ended 116 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 1: up smacking her so hard her glasses fell off. We 117 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: don't condone violence, but except for me, but sometimes whoooooo. 118 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: That's what got my husband to start talking, or rather yelling, 119 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 1: at his mother and me for acting this way, while 120 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: mother in law started to wail, yes, I shouldn't have 121 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: hit her. I know that's wrong, but hearing him imply 122 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: I was wrong the same way mother in law made 123 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: me more angry. I told him he's just as racist 124 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: as his mom if he's going to make me out 125 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: to be as bad as her. I got my keys 126 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: from inside the house while he was trying to calm 127 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: his mom down and left. He did say anything before. 128 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: That's the thing, like, you let it get to the 129 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,599 Speaker 1: freaking slap, and then he decides to say something. 130 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 3: Every single time he was like, oh, she's from another time, 131 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 3: and that's why she never stopped. 132 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: He enabled her exactly. He's been enabling her time. I 133 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: drove to a hotel and spent the night there. Now 134 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: it's the afternoon and I haven't left the hotel room 135 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: since checking in. Husband and several other friends and family 136 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: have been trying to reach me. I only replied to 137 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: my sister in law to tell her I'm safe at 138 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: a hotel and asked her to not tell my husband 139 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: what hotel I'm at. Guilt is starting to sink in, 140 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: and I'm questioning everything, like did I allow my mother 141 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: in law to do this? Did I showcase behavior that 142 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: made her think I was cheating? Does husband think I 143 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: cheated and that's why mother in law has this in 144 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: her head? And of course, should I be apologizing to 145 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: husband for hitting mother in law? I know violence is 146 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: wrong and I hate making excuses, but I just couldn't 147 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: handle someone talking about my family that way. So, redditors, 148 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: should I be apologizing to my husband? How do we 149 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: get through this? Any and all advice is appreciated. Edit No, 150 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: my daughter was not at the house. We sent her 151 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: to the weekend sleepover with my sister's family. I'll be 152 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: picking her up tomorrow afternoon. And edit two, I have 153 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: posted an update and there is a big fat, juicy update. 154 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: A big fat juicy update. But question should OPE be apologizing? 155 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 2: So? 156 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 3: I think that the way Opie approaching this is good 157 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 3: in that she's like, hey, well, I like, why wasn't 158 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 3: the husband when I didn't, when I was very sad 159 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 3: to hear, was like, oh does the husband think I'm cheating? 160 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 3: And all these things like this is literally all the 161 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 3: mother in law. Hopefully hopefully the husband isn't. But the 162 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 3: husband should have the whole time put a stop to 163 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,959 Speaker 3: it immediately, Like it is on him to, like we 164 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 3: said in the last. 165 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: Story, it's on him to be a mediator. 166 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 2: It is on him to be a mediator. 167 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 3: And if your mom is being racist to your your partner, 168 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 3: you are the one. 169 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 2: That has to put us off. Yeah, that is it. 170 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: I think a little bit the a hole for not 171 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: defending op Absolutely. I think he's a big absolutely absolutely. 172 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: And what I'll say. 173 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 3: On like her hitting her and I think like she's like, 174 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 3: I realized that she condoned violence. 175 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: She said, she's clear she's racist. 176 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: Here's here's my I don't think. I don't think here's 177 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: my thing even racist, here's my thing. You don't. 178 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,839 Speaker 2: You don't hit anyone, here's my thing. 179 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 3: I think that while it's like, okay, it's a it's 180 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 3: a better move not to have slapped her for for short, 181 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 3: And it sounds like Opie feels that way for the 182 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 3: people like the mother in law. If you put something out, 183 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,559 Speaker 3: you get back what you put out. 184 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, like like you that is what happens. 185 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: I think if you're saying racist crap, expect to be 186 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: hit honestly, Like I like, I think, but I just 187 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: don't think they're I don't think. 188 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 2: I don't thinks she shoud have slapped her. 189 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: I don't think she I think I think she agrees 190 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: it sounds yeah. So it's like but I think everything 191 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: besides the slap, I think op was. 192 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 2: I understand why she did it, why she did it. 193 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 3: She was anger, boiling over and like the like if 194 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 3: I'm the husband, like I don't know, I feel like 195 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, that was. 196 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: Just a moment of I think mother in law anger, ahole, 197 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: husband a whole, op a whole, but justified, justified a. 198 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 2: Whole for the slap. Yeah, thinking, Okay, do you disagree? 199 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 4: Imagine imagine you're watching a movie and there's a like 200 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 4: just the worst racist character. 201 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 2: Don't you kind of want him to don't you kind 202 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 2: of want to see him get. 203 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: Oh I'm if I saw the mother in law get slapped, 204 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: I would be like kind of giddy. I just don't think. 205 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: I just don't like. I feel like we're in a 206 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: worst place when in general as a society, if we 207 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: can don't violence for like any group of nonviolent people 208 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: or like word violent people. 209 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 3: I agree, it's it's definitely better not with a slot. 210 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 3: But you just can't be like I'm not surprised. 211 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: Or like totally spies zero one says an ideal world, 212 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,319 Speaker 1: you shouldn't hit. Although this slap is well earned. 213 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 2: I agree. 214 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: I think I agree with that it's a well earned slap. 215 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: Still not condoned, but well earned. Yeah, but there is 216 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: an update. There is an update and update. So thank 217 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: you to everyone who gave very insightful advice. I spent 218 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,839 Speaker 1: quite a bit of time reflecting and was able to 219 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: get an emergency meeting with my therapist this morning. I 220 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 1: only have my sister here as my parents moved back 221 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: to Puerto Rico to be with my grandparents five years ago. 222 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: Some questions I want to answer real quick. How old 223 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 1: are we? My husband is twenty eight and I just 224 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 1: celebrated my thirtieth birthday. We met when he was twenty 225 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: one and I was twenty three. Where's my daughter? I 226 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: sent her to my sisters on Friday for a week 227 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: in sleep over my sister's family. I picked her up 228 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: Monday afternoon. We had a little mommy daughter time, going 229 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 1: to her favorite place, Costco. Yes, my three year old 230 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: loves Costco. 231 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 2: Doesn't love Costco. 232 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: Costco's great. All the little food, a little little samples amazing. 233 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: We got home around seven after we had dinner. My 234 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 1: husband was waiting and I told him we'd talk after 235 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: the kiddo went to bed. When she was for certain asleep, 236 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 1: we sat and had a long conversation, not just about 237 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: the fight and his mother, but also about racing culture. 238 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: I saw how my family was treated based on skin color, 239 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: and while my husband understands racism, he admitted to never 240 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: really grasping the complexity. Grasping the complexities, especially colorism. A 241 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: lot of you jumped to me taking my daughter and 242 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: leaving or telling me he'd leave me. Sorry to disappoint you, 243 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: but no, we're not getting a divorce or anything of 244 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 1: the sort. He apologized to me for not standing up 245 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: for me before, and then acknowledging he didn't want to 246 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: think of his mother in a racist light. Good he's apologizing, 247 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: that's good. I also apologized for hitting her because in 248 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: the end, No, it doesn't help us. That's good too. 249 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: He did forgive me and said if it wasn't his mom, 250 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: saying that he'd probably slap them too. We will be 251 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: going to a marriage counselor, we decided, hoping to find 252 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 1: one that specializes in interracial marriage. Our daughter is going 253 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: to face challenges in the future because of her race. 254 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: It's sad to say, but unfortunately racism is still alive 255 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: and we want to know how to protect her and 256 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: uplift her so she does not feel ashamed of her heritage. 257 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: We've made the decision right really quick before I read this. 258 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 1: Do you think OP and the husband should go no contact. 259 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 2: With the mother? Absolutely? If the. 260 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 3: Mother in law will breed self hatred for her own 261 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 3: identity into the child. 262 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. We've made the decision to go no contact 263 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 1: with her and any people who try to bridge communication 264 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 1: between us and her. You will have no contact with 265 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: my daughter unless it's years down the road and she 266 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: shows significant changes in her behavior. My husband will be 267 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: driving to her house tomorrow to inform her of our decision. 268 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: I'd consider a paternity test and DNA test, but only 269 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: if mother in law pays. I don't want to entertain 270 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: this on my own dime. We've also decided to not 271 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: make any public post regarding this. If people want to 272 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,160 Speaker 1: believe her story, that is on them, not us. My 273 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: husband knows our baby is his. The irony is she 274 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: looks more like him than me. Her curls are even 275 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: from him. I do hope this is my last update. 276 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 1: If anything else happens, I might come back. Thank you 277 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: again to everyone who gave valuable advice. I am sad 278 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: my daughter won't have a grandmother in the States, but 279 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: it's more reason for us to plan trips to Puerto Rico. 280 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: And that is where this story ends. But not where 281 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: this has to end, because you could join our live. 282 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: You could do it, and we're live right now. 283 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: Click our profile. 284 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: But these stories have all been an effort asked how 285 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: do you create a relationship with your mother in law? 286 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: But I also think, more importantly, how do you end 287 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: a relationship with your mother in law? And I feel 288 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: like this is kind of like a good case study. 289 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 3: Super clear, completely crossing all the boundaries and respect. And again, 290 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 3: like maybe another a good qualifier is how does it 291 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 3: affect the children? Because again, she'll she'll breed this this 292 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 3: internalized self in this child from an infant, which is 293 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 3: so strong. It's like childhood trauma is the strongest time. 294 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 2: It's like a big dinty. 295 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, buries into your identity and it takes so years 296 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: of therapy to get through. 297 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 2: So if the. 298 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 3: Mother in law is going to have you know, this 299 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 3: kind of a negative effect on your children, that's another 300 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 3: like line to draw where it's like, no, you cannot 301 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 3: do this too my child. 302 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where this episode ends. And also seventy eight 303 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: percent of people in our members only streams say they 304 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 1: would slap her. Yeah, you got some slappers only, let's 305 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: go big slaps. 306 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 2: Yea. I hate violence, guys, I hate violence, but I 307 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,479 Speaker 2: also hate racists. 308 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: In which you hate more you desire. But if you 309 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you and 310 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: seein tomorrow. This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. 311 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 3: Time for okop relash, give me all your inheritance because 312 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 3: I'm your daughter. 313 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: I said no, because I know exactly what you're gonna 314 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 1: spend it on. 315 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 2: Fendy Makeup, gonna blow it all Kylie Cosmetics. 316 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: Twenty OnlyFans subscriptions. I mean, it's hashtag worth it it's 317 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: worth it, am I right? Do you want to see 318 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: those bear cheeks? 319 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 2: Uh? 320 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: Oh, hey, you gotta pay up the dough, that's right. 321 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 1: Maybe she wants an indoor slipping slide. 322 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 2: Ooh sounds fun to me. 323 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: Sounds fun. 324 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 2: Ten thousand dollars, Light work. 325 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: Light it on fire, baby. My now deceased ex wife 326 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: and I have five kids together, twenty one female, twenty 327 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 1: four female, twenty eight eight male, thirty mail, and thirty 328 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: five mail. A few years ago, their mother passed away 329 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: and left them each with a very large inheritance, over 330 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 1: three hundred thousand dollars each evenly distributed among them. 331 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 2: Damn. 332 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: Prior to her passing, she made it clear to them 333 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 1: that this money was not to be wasted. It was 334 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: too one be used to pay off debt, two to 335 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: further education, and three to put towards buying a home. 336 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 2: What about funko pops? 337 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 1: Though? Yeah? What about a Bugatti? Ooh that's nice? Like, 338 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: what color is your Bugatti? Ooh oh, don't have one? 339 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 2: O poor horror. 340 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: Two of my kids, twenty four female and twenty eight male, 341 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 1: have completely squandered this money in just a couple of years. 342 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 2: Wow. Three hundred k three hundred grain in a couple 343 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 2: of years. Oh wow, how how even dude? 344 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 1: A lot of bugattis is true? Only two actually, probably 345 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 1: my daughter spent it all traveling across the world carefree, 346 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: staying in nice hotels and eating fancy dinners. I completely 347 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 1: understand going on a vacation. Who doesn't want a vacation 348 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: for real, but to blow all of it on travel 349 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: against her mother's wishes as bloody shameful. My son is 350 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: even worse. He has spent literally all of it on drugs, alcohol, 351 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: and escorts over this time. I can't believe his dad 352 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 1: knows that he's spending all that money on escorts. Like 353 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,959 Speaker 1: even your dad knows you can't get any of that 354 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: good good. 355 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 3: It's like it's like, uh, he wakes up in the 356 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 3: morning after they've done it, and then he's like, hey dad, 357 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 3: this is it's an escort. 358 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: This is crystal. None of it. None was going towards 359 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: self improvement as their mother wanted. 360 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:54,239 Speaker 2: I don't know. 361 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: I'd say that maybe some of those escorts improved something. 362 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 2: Come on, now you know something's going up. 363 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, something's lifted up there, I think. So I continued 364 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: to hound them over this time and time again, until 365 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:14,719 Speaker 1: as I expected, it was all bloody wasted. Once this happened, 366 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 1: I decided to cut them both out of my will. 367 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: Is I don't want my hard earned money to be 368 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: squandered so my children can live a hedonistic lifestyle for 369 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: a few years. I told this to their siblings in confidence, 370 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,919 Speaker 1: so that they would be prepared to deal with the 371 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: fallout when I eventually passed. So I died yesterday, one 372 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: of them not sure who let it slip. And now 373 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: they've gone off the deep end and proclaimed I'm dead 374 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: to them and they don't have a dad, oh, etc. 375 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 2: God. 376 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to go into the long bitter feud 377 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 1: of my kids, but damn if I'm going to have 378 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 1: my life savings wasted by them. Also, any advice on 379 00:19:54,040 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: how to fix this? You know, I think you lean 380 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: into it. 381 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 3: You give them a ton of money and you say, 382 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 3: spend this as fast as possible. 383 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, And they say give you give your son the 384 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: number of your favorite escort and say, hey, don't spend 385 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: your money on just any escort. This is the escort. 386 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,920 Speaker 2: Interesting that you should do control, not not like shut down. 387 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: Yeahah, interesting in reality, I actually think the best way 388 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,680 Speaker 1: to do it is for those two problem kids is say, yes, 389 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you actually by inheritance, but I'm 390 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: only going to give you one thirtieth of it every year, 391 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: and so you don't get the chunk. You're still entitled 392 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,920 Speaker 1: to it, but it is distributed over and. 393 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 3: There's things like there's rules I believe you can set, 394 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 3: like with your estate where it's like, for instance, like 395 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,360 Speaker 3: people do it with like college, like you will unlock 396 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 3: this portion once you have a degree from you, like 397 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 3: a bachelor's degree or something like. 398 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 2: It's got to be something also. 399 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 1: Like why would the two golden children spill the beans? 400 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 2: That's true, I come on, not so golden. 401 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 1: Not so golden, not so golden. I can tell you 402 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: that much. 403 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 2: But John what there's an update? 404 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: So I took the advice of the previous thread, which 405 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 1: was overwhelmingly to consider setting up a trust fund for 406 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 1: my two problem children. Before I even invited the two 407 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: over to them to talk the issue over, my son 408 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: called to apologize for how he was acting. He doesn't 409 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 1: want to be written out of the will. He seemed 410 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: genuinely ashamed of the things he had said, and admitted 411 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: that it was wrong of him to waste his mother's 412 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 1: savings like that anyway, I invited the two of them 413 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 1: to tell them my plans. As I say, my son 414 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: seemed very apologetic. Well, my daughter was clearly still upset 415 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: with me. I told them that I would reinstate their inheritance, 416 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: but since they've demonstrated extremely poor money management, that I 417 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,160 Speaker 1: will only do so through a trust. That I'd talk 418 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,440 Speaker 1: to a proper lawyer slash financial expert on setting them up, 419 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: and they'd be designed to provide them at any future 420 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: children they have over many years after I've gone that 421 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: them blowing through it in a few years is simply 422 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 1: not an option totally. So took the news very well 423 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: and said he wouldn't trust himself with that kind of 424 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 1: money anyway. I'm not sure what caused such a sudden 425 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: change of heart in my son, but as I say, 426 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: it seemed genuine. He also offered to go to therapy 427 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: for a sex slash drug addiction if I helped pay, 428 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: to which I agreed. 429 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 2: I mean, that's good. 430 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,639 Speaker 1: I'll make sure this therapist actually exists, don't worry. So 431 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 1: she's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to a therapist. She 432 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: really just knows what I. 433 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 2: Need exactly. 434 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: However, my daughter did not take it well. Oh, dear Christ, 435 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: far worse than I expected. Here, I am willing to 436 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,719 Speaker 1: give them a second chance, and she just blows up 437 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: about how it's not fair that it's only them and 438 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 1: that they don't get the money. 439 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,280 Speaker 2: Outright. 440 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: I explained that their siblings had demonstrated they were responsible 441 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: with the money, hence why I would leave it to 442 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 1: them outright. Nope, not good enough for her. She doubled 443 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,959 Speaker 1: down that spending all of her mother's three hundred thousand 444 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 1: dollars on travel was justified. 445 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 2: There we go, baby, the double down. 446 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: She had the gall to call me extremely upsetting names 447 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: and accuse me of being emotionally abusive. Yeah, you won't 448 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: give me three hundred thousand dollars. 449 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 2: Why would you emotionally abuse me like that? 450 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 3: You're giving me so many intrusive thoughts on that you 451 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 3: would not know the number of a trusive thoughts. 452 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: You're gaslighting me, Dad, You're gaslighting me. 453 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 2: You're gatekeeping your money from me. 454 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: Dare you? So? I told my daughter that as I'm 455 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: retiring soon, perhaps I should experience the joys of travel. Also, 456 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 1: perhaps I should spend her inheritance that I've worked for 457 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: my entire life on travel myself. She stormed out and 458 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 1: hasn't contacted me since. Oh, really proud of how my 459 00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,440 Speaker 1: son's taking the news. Extremely disappointed in my daughter, anuinely 460 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,440 Speaker 1: considering spending her part of the inheritance on travel myself 461 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: at this point. 462 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 2: Honestly, do it? Do it? Bro? Why not? Yeah? 463 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 1: It was ridiculous. Come on, she seems like a brat. 464 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 3: She seems What would you do if you had a 465 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: by you had of five children that like literally just 466 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 3: squandered away all of their initial inheritance. 467 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 1: I would I think he did the right thing. I would, 468 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 1: I would do the trust, but I would I would 469 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: just still do the trust even if the daughter's like, yeah, 470 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,239 Speaker 1: I was just still I mean she's like twenty one 471 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,640 Speaker 1: or helld is she twenty three? 472 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? 473 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 3: Early early twenties. I think I think it was like 474 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 3: twenty eight and twenty three. 475 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, she's twenty four, twenty twenty four, twenty four, 476 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 1: I mean she's twenty four, a little old, but like 477 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: they're probably like a little spoiled. I think I think 478 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,639 Speaker 1: go forward with the plan. Who cares if she's you know, 479 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: being a whiny baby about it? Am I the a 480 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: hole for yelling at my brother for cheating when he 481 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:02,400 Speaker 1: was finally embracing his sexuality. Okay, this is okay. Ope, 482 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: I'm Samuel. 483 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 2: Daughter and I'm John Fry and we. 484 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,119 Speaker 4: Tell the phone of your stories there and none of 485 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 4: oh yeah, oh yeah, and John, I have something that 486 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 4: is just like this compounding of cheating, of family drama, 487 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,719 Speaker 4: of Christianity, of the Lord. 488 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 3: Uh. 489 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: He got the trifecta, the holy trinity of okayop. 490 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 3: Stories, perfect reddit cake just stacked up. Let's get into it, 491 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:27,479 Speaker 3: do it? 492 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for yelling at my brother 493 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: for cheating when he was finally embracing his sexuality. 494 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:37,439 Speaker 2: Let's see where this goes. 495 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: My brother male thirty and me thirty eight male grew 496 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: up in a very religious household. My father was all 497 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 1: about good Christian family values, and yet ironically he cheated 498 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 1: on my mom all the time, and he expected us 499 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 1: to accept it. I hated his guts, but my brother 500 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 1: always tried to please him to have his approval. When 501 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 1: he was a teen, we shared a desktop computer and 502 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 1: he sometimes forgot to delete his browser history. This is 503 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: the brother classic. I noticed he went to many gay 504 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 1: support sites, so I thought he might be into guys. 505 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 1: I never asked because A it was his choice to 506 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: tell me when he was ready, and B didn't really care, 507 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: which I guess is I think that's like a good 508 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: good that's probably a good, healthy response. H He was 509 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,159 Speaker 1: my brother and I love him. I understood why he 510 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: would want to keep it quiet, though. If he came 511 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 1: out when we were living with our father, I knew 512 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: crop would hit the fan. 513 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 2: Yeah. 514 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 1: Years passed and he didn't come out, even after losing 515 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: contact with our dad. I thought that maybe he was 516 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: exploring a sexuality back then, or maybe it was by 517 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,399 Speaker 1: or whatever. Because he got a girlfriend and then married 518 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,199 Speaker 1: her five years ago. Oh okay, yeah, so like you know, 519 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: seems Yeah, this girl, let's call her Julie, is an angel. 520 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 1: She got along with everyone, and she became fast friends 521 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: with my wife. Oh yeah, who sees her as like 522 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: a sister of sorts. I owe her a lot because 523 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,199 Speaker 1: she was instrumental in making my wife, except that she 524 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 1: needed help after going through some terrible postpartum depression. 525 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 2: That's great. She's basically helping her with the mental health. 526 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 2: That's all. 527 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,160 Speaker 1: The families feel united. Yes, fast forward to this week, 528 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: Julie calls us sobbing and tells us that my brother 529 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: has been cheating on her and that his lover is 530 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: a male friend of his from work. Uh oh no, 531 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: oh's brother. This has been going on since three years 532 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 1: ago or so. I went ballistic and I called him. 533 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: I told him he was doing the same thing to 534 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,640 Speaker 1: Julie as our father did to our mom. 535 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 2: Oh. 536 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 1: My brother then tells me that he was struggling with 537 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 1: accepting that he was gay all this time and that 538 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: I should be more understanding. He then goes on to 539 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: accuse me that I'm just mad because he's gay, and 540 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: then I'm discriminating against him. 541 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 2: Ooh, do not play that card at this time. 542 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, bro cheating is cheating, and that's what Ope says. 543 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 1: I told him. Cheating is cheating, and Julie doesn't deserve this. 544 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 1: And like, Julie is the sweetheart, aimed all of a woman. 545 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's the innocent, you know she. 546 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 3: I'm sure if he was upfront with her that she 547 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 3: would not have Yeah, like trying to have a. 548 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 2: Relationship with it. 549 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: Bruh kind of man. That's tough, dude, that's so tough. Yeah, 550 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: we haven't talked in days, and I'm starting to feel guilty. 551 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: Maybe I should have been more tactful. I don't know. 552 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: I just feel that cheating doesn't have a free pass 553 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 1: at all. People have read it TikTok podcast and YouTube. 554 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: Is op the a hole? 555 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 3: The one thing I will say and have some empathy 556 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: for is Opie's brother, like probably struggling with it, considering 557 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 3: like you know, grew up Christian, probably like there. 558 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 1: Is, dude, that's a tough thing to come. Some self 559 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: hate probably in there. You know, also like you probably 560 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 1: are marrying someone to cover up that party. 561 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 3: You're living a lie. I mean, no one wants to 562 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 3: live like everyone wants to be their their true, authentic self. 563 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 3: So I could see the pain that that would cause 564 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 3: Ope's brother. But to turn around and basically say, like 565 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 3: basically use like the gay card to say, like, you're 566 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 3: discriminating against me when you were cheating on someone. 567 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, and especially someone who is is integrated into the family, 568 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: Yeah that you care about too, Like yeah, true, it's 569 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: it's hard, but I do understand. Like, like I do, 570 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 1: I think op could have been a little bit more 571 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: tactful with how he approached it, because I especially like 572 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: all this is coming out, he's not really He's not 573 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: out like his brother's not out right. Yeah, so this 574 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: is essentially outing him and having his relationship fall apart 575 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: at the same time, and like he's having to embrace 576 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: like his sexuality too. It's like this is a very 577 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: confusing and whirlwind of emotion. It's a good point. So 578 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: I think op could have been a bit more tactful. 579 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: But I don't think cheating is ever right. Yeah, you know, 580 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's really excusable. 581 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 3: But especially I just I honestly, the cheating is is 582 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 3: really bad, and I hate the li like, like I 583 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 3: feel like he's like trying to play the gig, trying 584 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 3: to get out of it. 585 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, that I also really hate. Yeah, so what you 586 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: gonna do? But what do you what do you think y'all? Like, 587 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: I you know, it is a tough situation, is a 588 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: tough one, and I think it's more up in the 589 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: air than more of our like than our recent stories. 590 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: But like I'd love to hear some people from the 591 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: LGBTQUH community, like what what do you think too? 592 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 2: Wait? 593 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 3: Are you telling me that two quite straight assists males 594 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 3: did not have the definitive opinion? 595 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: What? 596 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 2: It's a comedy podcast. 597 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: We've had the definitive opinion for four hundred years. 598 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 2: For four hundred years, what are we changing it now? 599 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: Undred years can't be wrong. 600 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 3: But on the real let's let's get some of the 601 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 3: LGBT plus community in on this discussion, and we want 602 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:54,520 Speaker 3: to hear your thoughts. 603 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 1: Let us know, give us your thoughts also, maybe like, 604 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 1: give us our thoughts in the subrennit oh. 605 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 3: Yes, drop it in the subreddit, guys. We want to 606 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 3: get some discussions going on there. 607 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 1: Some people are joining it, but we haven't really been active, 608 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 1: that is true, So let's let's have the comment over there. 609 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 1: Guys respond you haven't already subscribed, follow us wherever you 610 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 1: get your podcasts or Youthobes or dick Dogs, and we'll 611 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: see you