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Speaker 1: My dad is furious for my mom sleeping with another man.

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Speaker 1: But my dad wanted the open marriage drama.

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Speaker 2: That is drama.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're we're plunging you deep in and uh

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Speaker 1: uh with our favorite plunger.

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Speaker 3: Elena, can you introduce yourself?

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Speaker 2: Hello, My name is Elena Malaman. I go buy Elena

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Speaker 2: yah Elle online. You can find me on TikTok and

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Speaker 2: Instagram at Elena yah Ell and that's my Instagram and

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Speaker 2: Alnaya l Underscore is my.

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Speaker 3: TikTok rat o. What kind of videos do you make?

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Speaker 2: I make a mix of makeup, lifestyle and comedy videos huge.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to test your comedy right now on

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Speaker 1: the show. Audience commentaris, you have to not now now

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Speaker 1: we're uh, we're making you the judge and jury's you

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Speaker 1: have to say how funny Elena is on a scale

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Speaker 1: of one to three.

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Speaker 3: Now get ready. No no pressure though, No pressure, no pressure,

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Speaker 3: no pressure, all right.

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Speaker 1: So my parents got married when they were super young.

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Speaker 1: My dad knocked up my mom and their parents married

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Speaker 1: them off. My grandfather was able to set up some

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Speaker 1: business for my dad in a big city and they

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Speaker 1: moved here soon after my birth. Sounds like your classic

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Speaker 1: rom calm love story. Just you know, star cross levers

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Speaker 1: over here, super romantic. That's that's how I want my

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Speaker 1: marriage to start. Just forced, forced marriage, that's what I want.

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Speaker 1: All marriages should be forced. Arrange, arrange them all.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So my mom grew up in a conservative southern town

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Speaker 1: where she was taught to be a submissive wife, and

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Speaker 1: even after moving to the big city, she didn't spend

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Speaker 1: much time socializing. She had no friends and never went out.

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Speaker 1: My dad was only there to provide for us. He

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Speaker 1: was always away in business, and he wasn't there as

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Speaker 1: a husband from my mom or as a father to me. Again,

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Speaker 1: just this gets sadder. I'm just I'm just more sad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, now I'm my mood. My mood has just.

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Speaker 1: But but you know what, we're going to keep the

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Speaker 1: pep in our step. We're not gonna let We're not

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Speaker 1: gonna let Op's sob story change us. But we are

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Speaker 1: going to get back into it. So my dad made

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Speaker 1: a lot of money, so we never lacked anything growing up.

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Speaker 1: I became my mom's best friends. We would talk about everything.

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Speaker 1: I pushed her to make friends and to find hobbies.

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Speaker 1: After years of pushing, she started going to a nearby

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Speaker 1: park and made her first friend, a gym trainer. Encouraged

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Speaker 1: by her friend to me, she started to join the gym.

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Speaker 1: So she's getting fit. She's probably you know, looking like

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Speaker 1: a snack, you know.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh. Jim Trainer just brings up all kinds of

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Speaker 2: thoughts in my head.

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Speaker 3: Oh, what thoughts, what thoughts? What thoughts are you?

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's an open marriage.

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Speaker 3: She minds a trainer. Well, I don't think yet.

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Speaker 1: I don't think yet, But once that open marriage starts,

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Speaker 1: I think that that trainer is going to be training

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Speaker 1: her to do other things.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's going to be some stretching going on, but

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Speaker 1: maybe not in the gym stretching. So she met a

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Speaker 1: few more people there and started having some semblance of

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Speaker 1: a social life, but still continued to tell me everything.

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Speaker 1: I think my dad's new secretary gave him the idea,

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Speaker 1: but he asked my mom for an open marriage almost

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Speaker 1: a year ago.

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Speaker 2: No, we have a secretary and a gym trainer here.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 1: In one story, I feel like they're like the choice

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Speaker 1: pokemons of our our Pokemon trainers, and they're about to

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Speaker 1: fight to the death. Jim Trainer versus secretary, who's gonna

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Speaker 1: bone the marriage first.

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Speaker 2: Who bones the marriage, who penetrates the marriage first?

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Speaker 1: So what are your thoughts that open So Dad's just

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Speaker 1: asking for the open marriage, what are your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: open marriages in general? Do you have any thoughts experiences

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Speaker 1: friends that have had experiences with open relationships?

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Speaker 2: I think, in my personal experience being in relationships and

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Speaker 2: my own willingness to have an open relationship, if you

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Speaker 2: are in an open relationship, you are not obsessed enough

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Speaker 2: with your partner, because if you are obsessed with them

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Speaker 2: and you want to spend a lot of time with them,

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Speaker 2: you know, I haven't been in a marriage that lasts

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Speaker 2: so long, so I've never, you know, experienced the boredom

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Speaker 2: that might come with that. But there is a sense of,

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Speaker 2: you know, I if you're in a relationship with someone

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Speaker 2: that you don't that you're not obsessed with, that you're

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Speaker 2: not super in love with, then you want to explore

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Speaker 2: other options and different types of intimacies with other people.

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Speaker 1: So you're saying anyone who's in an open relationship is

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Speaker 1: settling and hasn't found the right person.

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Speaker 2: I think to an extent, of course, of course, it

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Speaker 2: doesn't apply to everyone, because I could see the argument,

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Speaker 2: you know, being flipped saying that you're in a really

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Speaker 2: secure relationship that you know, you understand each other's boundaries

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Speaker 2: and are sort of able to trust each other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's more like just like hanging out, but

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Speaker 1: you got your core relationship right there. Well, let's see

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Speaker 1: what this is actually. So he told her he wasn't

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Speaker 1: happy in their marriage and she wasn't providing him with

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Speaker 1: everything he wanted, like his secretary.

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Speaker 3: His body.

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Speaker 1: My mom, who is a Christian wife, was mortified and

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Speaker 1: told me about the proposal in tears. This is not

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Speaker 1: the fun proposal. The open marriage proposal feels like a

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Speaker 1: totally different proposal than the regular proposal. It's like regular pposal,

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Speaker 1: Well you marry me, great? Do you I feel like

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Speaker 1: the open marriage proposal is an anti proposal?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like instead of getting on one knee, you get

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Speaker 2: up off the knee or I.

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Speaker 3: Don't know, yeah, yeah, you're like, no more kneeling down.

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Speaker 1: I'm walking over to someone else who will kneel down

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Speaker 1: for me, maybe my secretary. So I suggested she get

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Speaker 1: a divorce, but she said she didn't believe in it

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Speaker 1: and she wouldn't be the one to end their marriage.

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Speaker 1: As my dad pushed. I knew exactly where this would

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Speaker 1: end up if my mom agreed. Her friend and I

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Speaker 1: convinced her. My mom was hesitant at first, but she

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Speaker 1: agreed with the condition that they would be completely transparent

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Speaker 1: with each other. So they're gringing to the open marriage,

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Speaker 1: plowing through, plunging in to it.

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Speaker 2: Transparency is dangerous. You think you want it, you think

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Speaker 2: you don't want transparency?

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Speaker 3: Why why why do you why? Why why not? Why?

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Speaker 3: Why do you think not?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know, because there's just fighting. Yeah, just

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Speaker 2: I feel like it would lead to so much fighting

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Speaker 2: and jealousy.

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Speaker 1: And Elena is pro lying. That's That's what I'm learning

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Speaker 1: from this conversation.

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Speaker 2: I'm not necessarily pro lying, maybe more so like you

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Speaker 2: have an agreement and it's gonna sound messed up because

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Speaker 2: of like what the phrase is attached to politically, but

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Speaker 2: like don't ask.

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Speaker 3: Still don't tell. Okay, you're going with that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, all right, question for the commons, if

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Speaker 1: you were to engage in an open relationship, would you

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Speaker 1: rather have transparency or don't ask, don't tell policy? Put

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Speaker 1: it below Let us know what you think. All right, We're

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Speaker 1: going back into it. So my dad was a middle

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Speaker 1: aged forty one man with a belly, and my mom

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Speaker 1: was thirty nine, athletic and worked out regularly. So Mom's

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Speaker 1: rocking it. She's bonafide cougar. She's working it. Also, OPO,

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Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know how my dad was

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Speaker 1: so blind or what he thought would happen. I helped

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Speaker 1: create online dating profiles for my mom almost six months ago.

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Speaker 1: After getting an insane number of matches, choosing from them

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Speaker 1: and chatting with them for months, my mom started hooking

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Speaker 1: up with a few people.

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Speaker 3: Also.

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Speaker 1: I love how like op is completely helping like set

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Speaker 1: up the mom. It's like, Mom, you're gonna get laid

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Speaker 1: a ridiculous amount. Let's let's let's take those booty picks

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Speaker 1: at like for you at the gym. We're we're gonna

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Speaker 1: pimp out your your your Tinder profile. That's my dream daughter,

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Speaker 1: dream daughter pimping out your hinge Heck yeah. What is

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Speaker 1: what is the best like hinge photo that you think

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Speaker 1: you can have? What is the most important one?

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Speaker 2: I think personality mixed with sexiness, Like if you can

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Speaker 2: show me.

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Speaker 3: Like, what did you have a dating profile?

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Speaker 2: I do have a dating profile.

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Speaker 1: What is your personality mixed with sexiness photo.

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Speaker 2: I used to have a picture of me in the

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Speaker 2: mirror where I just I look very like confident. I'm

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Speaker 2: wearing this like eighties inspired outfit with like this fur

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Speaker 2: fur jacket and style. Yeah, I'm completely covered up, so

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Speaker 2: it's not even like anything, you know, like I'm not

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Speaker 2: showing anything. Yeah, but it's just the way that I'm

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Speaker 2: looking in the mirror and I'm sort of like just

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Speaker 2: look like I'm a vibe, you know. I'm wearing these

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Speaker 2: big shades and I'm sort of just gazing into the

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Speaker 2: mirror with my personality. And I always got so many

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Speaker 2: comments on that picture, like you have dope style, you

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Speaker 2: seem really cool, you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So my I don't have dating profiles, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't really go on the dating apps. I haven't been

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Speaker 1: on in like maybe like three years. But when I did,

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Speaker 1: I was I was completely hoing out. This this was

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Speaker 1: this was mine, right, can you see this?

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Speaker 3: Oh damn, I tried, he tried, he tried.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So going back into it, so that basically the

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Speaker 1: daughters hooking up, the mom with the best picks for

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Speaker 1: her dating profiles and start hooking up with a couple

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Speaker 1: of people. So getting all this attention has provided a

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Speaker 1: massive boost to her confidence and she seems better. My

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Speaker 1: dad hooked up with his secretary almost immediately.

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Speaker 2: There it is.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we saw it coming. We saw it coming.

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Speaker 1: We saw him coming, So did the secretary. Everyone saw

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Speaker 1: everything coming. He's had. The daughter hates the dad so much.

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Speaker 1: He's had very little luck with other ladies with their

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Speaker 1: transparency thing. My mom tells him about all of her hookups.

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Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, my dad screamed at my mom

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Speaker 1: for some minor thing. Usually my mom would have apologized,

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Speaker 1: but with her new crown confidence, she didn't back down.

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Speaker 3: Let's go.

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Speaker 2: That's an independent.

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Speaker 1: Woman right there. XX liberation, Let's go. It's been constant

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Speaker 1: fights the last few weeks. My dad keeps starting fights

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Speaker 1: by making snide remarks about my mom's clothing or appearance.

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Speaker 1: He even called my mom a whore, but stopped himself,

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Speaker 1: so I guess he was like a mid sentence being like,

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Speaker 1: I think open marriage finally is sunk in. My mom

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Speaker 1: told me he tried to have a conversation about stopping

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Speaker 1: the open marriage, but she immediately shot it down. I

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Speaker 1: think they'll split up. My dad was never there for

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Speaker 1: either of us, but the thought of my parents splitting

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Speaker 1: up still feels weird. I don't feel bad for my dad,

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Speaker 1: but I wish he put the effort into his family.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy for my mom though. There is an update,

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Speaker 1: But what do you think? What do you think of

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Speaker 1: the whole situation should the parents split up? What do

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Speaker 1: you think of the mom being like, Nah, I'm still like,

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Speaker 1: I'm still doing this open marriage thing. You can't close

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Speaker 1: this ship. Pandora's box is open.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he gave he let her have a taste of

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Speaker 2: the rainbow, and she too much.

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Speaker 3: He liked it too much.

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Speaker 2: But you know, that's why I think I was right

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Speaker 2: with the whole don't ask, don't tell a thing because

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Speaker 2: he didn't know. He he wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: He wouldn't have known how how much attention she was getting,

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Speaker 1: except like, hey, honey, I'm going out again tonight.

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Speaker 3: For reasons. Okay, so let's jump into this update.

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Speaker 1: So a few days after my previous post, my dad

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Speaker 1: left her home and had a divorce served to my

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Speaker 1: mom in a week. My grandparents didn't even know about

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Speaker 1: any of this, but my dad told them when he

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Speaker 1: served the divorce. He also applied to them that my

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Speaker 1: mom was cheating on him.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, that is betrayal.

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Speaker 3: Fucker, How dare her parents? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What a tattle tale?

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Speaker 1: Either either like it was either the grandparents. I think

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Speaker 1: it might it's either his grandparents or her or his

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Speaker 1: parents or her parents. I'm not sure which actually, But guardless,

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Speaker 1: dick move and it's not even true.

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Speaker 2: It's a stick energy, that's small dig energy.

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Speaker 1: Why he's he can't he can't strike well with the ladies,

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Speaker 1: you know, just pulls it down and it's like, where

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Speaker 1: is it? It's lost in the bush. It's like trying

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Speaker 1: to find like a like a like a peanut in

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Speaker 1: a field of wheats.

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Speaker 3: You just it's not gonna. It's not gonna. You're not

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Speaker 3: gonna be able to find it.

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Speaker 1: Both sets of grandparents came to our home and started

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Speaker 1: berating my mom. Okay, so I guess he said he

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Speaker 1: sent He told both sets.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, so bad. This is so messed up.

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Speaker 1: I kept screenshots of all my parents' communications, and my

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Speaker 1: mom showed them, and it got way worse after that.

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Speaker 1: Grandparents started fighting each other and blaming each other for

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Speaker 1: each other's children's causing all this mess. A few days later,

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Speaker 1: my mom's old church friends came to our home. Back

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Speaker 1: when my mom used to go to church, they used

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Speaker 1: to look down on her for being from a small town.

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Speaker 1: My mom has always been very caring, a non judgmental person,

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Speaker 1: so she disagreed with their bigotry and they began excluding

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Speaker 1: her from church activities. After she met her gym friends,

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Speaker 1: my mom stopped going to church entirely. These church friends

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Speaker 1: started calling my mom a slut, and she kicked them out.

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Speaker 2: You know, this just makes me angry.

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Speaker 3: I know, peez.

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Speaker 2: It always ends up being the woman's fault in the

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Speaker 2: eyes of the relationships that she has with her friends

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Speaker 2: and everything.

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Speaker 1: Like like they were both doing like they were both

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Speaker 1: having sex with other people.

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Speaker 3: They agreed on it, and.

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Speaker 1: Now she initiated it, he initiated and now just because

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Speaker 1: she's drowning and dong and it's so successful, like the

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Speaker 1: dude's mad like, no, you wanted this. You can't get

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Speaker 1: mad in her for being good at what you wanted.

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Speaker 1: But with pain, out of the ashes can be the

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Speaker 1: new woman. And OPI says, my mom is on a

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Speaker 1: cut right now, so she has very defined abs and arms.

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Speaker 1: So along with all the normal stuff, getting thrown at her.

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Speaker 1: My grandparents accused her of having a man's body.

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Speaker 3: What the fuck?

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Speaker 2: Come on, This woman cannot catch a freaking break.

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Speaker 1: Her trainer friend has been a great support through all

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Speaker 1: of this. She contacted her attorney she used for her divorce,

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Speaker 1: and my mom is spending a lot of time at

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Speaker 1: her house. Turns out the business my dad is running

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Speaker 1: is owned by my mom. It was set up by

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Speaker 1: my mom's dad in her name, so it belongs to her.

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Speaker 1: I did not know this until now and assume that

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Speaker 1: my dad owned it. The whole situation is a huge mess.

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Speaker 3: Right now.

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Speaker 1: Dad is living in some hotel that my grandparents left

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Speaker 1: yesterday after a week of fighting and trying to force

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Speaker 1: my parents to come back together. I know there's a

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Speaker 1: lot more divorce trauma to come, but I hope it

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Speaker 1: all comes down for now. Holy shit, I didn't even

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Speaker 1: realize the whole business thing that wrented, the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, he just he made a mistake, like

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Speaker 2: this just all came back to bite him in the booty.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so I think this.

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Speaker 1: I want to ask this question to the people in

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Speaker 1: the comments. Would also use to like, what do you

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Speaker 1: think about starting a marriage right like closed, opening it up,

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Speaker 1: and then wanting it closed again. Do you think you

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Speaker 1: can close an open marriage?

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Speaker 2: Listen. I think anything is possible. But once that window opens,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if like, once you get a taste

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Speaker 2: of that freedom, you know, like you do you want

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Speaker 2: to give that up? I mean unless you know, of course,

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Speaker 2: open marriage can maybe draw you closer because you realize

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Speaker 2: that they're the one.

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Speaker 1: So something that I one of a story that we

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Speaker 1: heard a while ago was basically they were in a

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Speaker 1: set like the marriage turned sexless, they weren't having sex

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Speaker 1: with each other. They're like, hey, we should have an

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Speaker 1: open marriage, and then they both saw each other like

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Speaker 1: getting tons of attention from other people and they're like,

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Speaker 1: oh damn, like they're actually pretty hot, and then started

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Speaker 1: hooking up with each other like all the time again,

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Speaker 1: And so it actually kind of reignited their marriage.

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Speaker 3: In some way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my step siblings destroyed my mother's earn so I

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Speaker 1: retaliated in the only way I knew how.

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Speaker 3: Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: I gotta know how they retaliated?

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Speaker 1: Right now, you're gonna have to listen to the whole

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Speaker 1: story and also listen to this whole intro. This is Elena,

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Speaker 1: thanks for coming on on the show. She's a friend

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Speaker 1: of the pod. Can you give us a little one

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Speaker 1: sentence intro about who you are and what you do?

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Speaker 2: Yes, thank you. My name's Elena yeahell. I am a

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Speaker 2: TikToker content creator online and I make makeup comedy and

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Speaker 2: lifestyle content.

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Speaker 1: You can look at her ats right below. But let's

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Speaker 1: get into this story. So backstory, my mom died when

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Speaker 1: I was like four. My dad remarried when I was six.

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Speaker 1: My step mom is all right and I don't have

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Speaker 1: any problems with her. She had three kids from a

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Speaker 1: previous marriage, an eighteen year old girl, seventy year old boy,

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Speaker 1: and fifteen year old girl. I'm eighteen, so I'm the

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Speaker 1: same age as the oldest, but I'm older by a

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Speaker 1: couple months. Okay, so we got all the players at first.

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Speaker 1: When we all moved in, I was happy to have siblings,

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Speaker 1: but the feeling wasn't mutual at all, and they excluded

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Speaker 1: me a lot from things, saying that I'm not one

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Speaker 1: of them. Another crap like that. Me and the seven

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Speaker 1: year old fought a lot, like almost daily. Nothing too bad,

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Speaker 1: just dumb kid stuff. Our parents nipped that in the bud,

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Speaker 1: but arguments with him were daily till I was like

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Speaker 1: thirteen and just gave up. The eighteen year old hates

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Speaker 1: me because of me and her brother fighting a lot,

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Speaker 1: and same with the fifteen year old. So everyone hates Opepe.

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Speaker 1: That's rough, rough, super rough, super rough. My dad and

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Speaker 1: stepmom tried to make us all one blended family, but

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Speaker 1: it just didn't work. I was open to it, but

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00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 1: they were intent on blocking me out. Around twelve, I

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00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: just stopped trying and my own thing. I have absolutely

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00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 1: zero relationship or attachment with any of them. So here's

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Speaker 1: the main problem. I was away at a friend's house

359
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 1: and I forgot to lock the door to my room.

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Speaker 1: My step siblings have a problem with going into my

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Speaker 1: room because I keep my stuff organized and I'm the

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Speaker 1: only one with a TV in my room. I paid

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Speaker 1: for it, so basically, it's a TV in the room

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Speaker 1: and OP is the only one that has access to it.

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Speaker 1: You might be able to see where this is going,

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Speaker 1: all right, when they watch TV, I'd usually just let

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Speaker 1: them and avoid talking to them. I have a mini

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Speaker 1: memorial of my mom in my room that has a

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Speaker 1: plaque of my mom and her urn. It's not much,

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Speaker 1: but I like it. I guess all three were watching

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Speaker 1: TV and somehow my urn got knocked over and the

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Speaker 1: ash is all over my carpet and everywhere. It's basically

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Speaker 1: just an empty thing.

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Speaker 2: That is so traumatizing. Holy Moly, mother's spread across her carpet.

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Speaker 3: And I can never vacuum. It's terrible.

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Speaker 2: You can vacuum. I mean, my first thought is get

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Speaker 2: rid of the carpet, but then you're getting rid of

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Speaker 2: your mom.

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Speaker 3: Your mom?

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00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you maybe you just you vacuum the carpet

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00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: and then you like take out the mom from the

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Speaker 1: vacuum and put it back in the urn.

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Speaker 2: I guess so you could use like a new vacuum

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Speaker 2: bag and then just collect all that Gyson.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, something like that. This is not you know, you

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Speaker 3: never want to be vacuuming your mom.

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Speaker 2: You know, call me old fashioned, but and I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I see any I see an urn. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be super careful around that thing. I know, I'm not

390
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Speaker 2: trying to have ashes everywhere.

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Speaker 1: So when I got home, I flipped my shit. It

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Speaker 1: got bad enough that my dad came into the room

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Speaker 1: and sent them out. When I told them what happened.

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Speaker 1: He said that he's sorry and that he will talk

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Speaker 1: to him. This is where I may be the a hole.

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Speaker 1: My dad said something about never being too mad at

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Speaker 1: quote unquote family. I had enough and told him exactly this.

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Speaker 1: They aren't my family. They made home life shit for

399
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Speaker 1: years and now knocked over the ashes of my mom.

400
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: I fucking hate them. He went quiet and didn't say

401
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: anything and just left my room. My step siblings haven't apologized.

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00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 1: Not that I accept anything they would say, but I

403
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 1: feel bad for what I said to my dad all

404
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: but I also don't forget a word of what I said.

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Speaker 3: So am I the a whole?

406
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, absolutely not.

407
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 3: I think that was valid.

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00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,879
Speaker 2: You're I mean, they're a child and they're dealing with

409
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 2: a lot of emotions and stuff. I mean, it's very

410
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 2: hard changes and the father can deal with the with

411
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 2: the blow to the heart, like knowing that they didn't

412
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Speaker 2: do a good enough job integrating family.

413
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's also like you know, like me,

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00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm I'm kind of leaning towards like OP is a

415
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: little bit the ahole. Not because it's like not that

416
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: she that that response isn't valid, it's just like not

417
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: the kindest response, like it totally makes sense, like why

418
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 1: she would be saying that because the siblings were really

419
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: cruel to her and uh, they literally knocked over her

420
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: mother's ashes, Like this response is is expected, but it's

421
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: still like probably not not the best response. And so

422
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: I would say twinge of a whole. But the kids

423
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:37,959
Speaker 1: are like ten times more assholesh than OP. Yeah, I'm

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00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 1: waiting with baited breath. I want to know what everyone

425
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 1: else thinks. Put your answer to the comments do you

426
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: think OP is the a hole or not?

427
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 3: And uh?

428
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 1: And what would you do if your siblings knocked over

429
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: your mother's ashes? But at the top of the episode,

430
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: we were talking a little bit about what is the

431
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 1: appropriate amount of time to date someone again after her

432
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: your partner has died, I guess, like after you're the

433
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 1: person you married has died. So I'm curious, Elena, you

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00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: had a story about someone whose partner died.

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00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 3: Can you can you? Can you tell it?

436
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 2: Yes?

437
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 4: I can.

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00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 3: So.

439
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: I grew up across the street from what was my

440
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: mother's best friend, and she was like a second mother

441
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 2: to me, most amazing, spectacular, kind hearted, just absolute angel

442
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: of a woman. Never met anyone like her, and everyone

443
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: who knew her, knew that she was just such a

444
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 2: like force of nature. She was so special, and I

445
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 2: think that was why it was so hard. You know,

446
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 2: for years she was sick with cancer and it was

447
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 2: just it went on for a really long time. Was

448
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: super hard. And right after she died, he immediately started

449
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 2: dating people, and the kids knew about it.

450
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 3: Everyone knew about it, and immediately, like.

451
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: I recall at the funeral, people talking about him being

452
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: with one of the women that worked at the synagogue.

453
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 4: Wow, and so like wow, yeah, like you have to

454
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 4: take its Yeah, so there's a lot, there's a lot

455
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 4: going on there, and I understand, you know, he's feeling

456
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 4: super upset and it's been a while, like she's been

457
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 4: sick for a while, so maybe he was looking for

458
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 4: some companionship and so that, you know, it makes sense

459
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 4: in that way.

460
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 2: But you know the fact that everyone knew, when the

461
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 2: kids knew, and everything was very a lot of a

462
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 2: little icky, a lot of drama, and you know, it's

463
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: actually growing up like she was my second mom and

464
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 2: then seeing that happen.

465
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: You know, what's the appropriate amount of time post death

466
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: to start dating or is it like a formula like

467
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: amount of years married times point oh five.

468
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,479
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think it's it obviously varies by

469
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 2: the person. It's super hard to say, but I think

470
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: when you have kids, it's so much different and you

471
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: need to let the kids process, you know, their grief

472
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 2: and stuff. So I would say to start dating, give

473
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 2: it about six months.

474
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, about my number was like a year, like,

475
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 1: especially if you have kids, don't start dating until like

476
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: a year after.

477
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think at least six months. Even a year

478
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: is like super soon, Like keep it, keep it on

479
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 2: the low, keep it on the.

480
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: Low, on the low.

481
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 1: Speaking of funeral, public subscriber Monica Taylor seven eight seven

482
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 1: to one says, oh boy, my in laws hated me.

483
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,959
Speaker 1: They called me the virgin when we met and started dating,

484
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: and then called me a cock craving, come guzzling slut.

485
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: Keeping in mind we were sixteen years old and all

486
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 1: his sisters were adults in their twenties. There were threats.

487
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they said her face isn't pregnant when

488
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 1: I was pregnant. Ah, oh my god, this is this

489
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: is I don't even know if I could read all

490
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: of this.

491
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: This is a dets.

492
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: They said that I slept with guys on a train.

493
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I can't read the rest of that

494
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: comic because it's a lot, but uh, thank you for

495
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 1: comment taking, Charon.

496
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: We always love reading the comments from our comment so

497
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 3: thanks and we'll see you soon.

498
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 2: See Yah,