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Speaker 1: Hello, my professional homegirls. It's Ebening here, marking this the

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Speaker 1: last episode of the freaking year. This year has been

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Speaker 1: nothing short of amazing, and I am so happy and

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Speaker 1: proud of myself because baby, Okay, However, none of this

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Speaker 1: would have been possible without my professional homegirls. Your on

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Speaker 1: wavering support has been the key to everything, and my

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Speaker 1: love for y'all runs so so, so so deep. So

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you. I encourage each of

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Speaker 1: you to draw inspiration from these narratives, using them as

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Speaker 1: a pink print for your personal journeys, because remember, tough

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Speaker 1: times don't last, but professional homegirls do. Happy holidays, professional homegirls,

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Speaker 1: and may God continue to bless you. Now. On this

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Speaker 1: week's episode, my guest and I dive into the concept

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Speaker 1: of being a ride or Die chick. She opens up

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Speaker 1: about her journey, recounting the initial stages of meeting her

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Speaker 1: then boyfriend and the revelations that unfolded as she became

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Speaker 1: deeply invested. While expressing gratitude for his insights into street life,

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Speaker 1: a huge difference from her church upbringing, she openly shares

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Speaker 1: the realization that he might rebrum her into something she

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Speaker 1: wasn't quite prepared for get ready as I was a

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Speaker 1: ride or Die chick. Part one starts now. So to

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Speaker 1: my guests, thank you so much for being a guest

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Speaker 1: on the show. How you doing, How you feeling?

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Speaker 2: I am doing good and I'm feeling great today.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: Good.

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Speaker 1: Now, why do you think the idea of a a

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Speaker 1: ride or die partner has gained popularity within our community?

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Speaker 2: That is a very good question. I'm not really sure

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Speaker 2: about the popularity of it, but I definitely think that

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Speaker 2: in today's climen, in today's society, being a ride or

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Speaker 2: die is maybe rising to the surface. I would say,

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Speaker 2: you think, I'm a woman of a particular age and

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Speaker 2: being a ride or die has always been a thing

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Speaker 2: on my end anyways.

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Speaker 1: Right right, Why do you think it's rising now? You

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Speaker 1: don't think it's always been how it is now. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it, especially back in the day, I feel

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Speaker 1: like it was very prominent.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely exactly what I'm thinking. That's why I'm saying, I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure why it's rising now. I think more attention

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Speaker 2: is being given to it. There are quite a few

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Speaker 2: things that I think that are have always been prominent,

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Speaker 2: but now because of social media and maybe attention being

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Speaker 2: focusing on it. It seems like it's it's rising more,

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Speaker 2: but I think it's always been around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be my That was gonna be my

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Speaker 1: next question. In what ways do you think music and

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Speaker 1: movies and literature has influenced that idea? Especially with music.

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Speaker 2: Exact for sure, Absolutely, especially in the African American community.

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Speaker 2: I think with the musical artists that we have now

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Speaker 2: in mainstream, the notion of a female holding down her

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Speaker 2: man is definitely predominant, and it's reaching a lot of people,

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Speaker 2: especially those that are younger. And I say that even

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Speaker 2: in music in times past, it's always been a thing.

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Speaker 1: Right right, Right? Do you think being right to die

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Speaker 1: is like, uh, it's only gearra towards women, not men.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I think I think that even though you have some

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Speaker 2: men that are definitely ride or die, it's almost like it's.

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Speaker 3: Kind of more expected for.

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Speaker 2: The woman to be right, the one doing the riding

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Speaker 2: and dying. But yeah, absolutely, especially the black woman that

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Speaker 2: right right?

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Speaker 1: You know, I think I was really excited about your

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Speaker 1: story because I feel like, you know, a lot of

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Speaker 1: women or a lot of people in general will be

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Speaker 1: able to relate to your story. And I also feel

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Speaker 1: like it was literally by the grace of God that

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Speaker 1: you was able to get out of it the way

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Speaker 1: that you did, because it could have went completely.

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Speaker 2: Left, completely left, And it is definitely nothing but the

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Speaker 2: hand of God.

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Speaker 3: I do think there is a.

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Speaker 2: Fine line between being a ride or die type female

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Speaker 2: and stupidity. Fact and sometimes when love is factored in,

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Speaker 2: that line definitely gets clouded. Yeah, but you should never

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Speaker 2: be of the mind frame of jeopardizing yourself for the

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Speaker 2: benefit of saving somebody else.

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Speaker 1: Right, So how did you meet your boyfriend?

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Speaker 2: At the time, I was babysitting for a friend of

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Speaker 2: mine and a platonic friend of his, and it literally

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Speaker 2: started as a phone conversation. Being mindful that this all

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Speaker 2: took place thirty five years or so ago, so that

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Speaker 2: was days long before cell phone, so you actually had

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Speaker 2: to call somebody house, you know, either with the rotary

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Speaker 2: down or the push button and actually get the phone conversation.

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Speaker 2: The first initial interaction began on in a traditional phone

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Speaker 2: line and him calling for her and she not being there,

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Speaker 2: and that happened again, and then on the second time

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Speaker 2: I mentioned it to her and she said, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: he he's a you know, a good friend of mine,

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Speaker 2: and he would really liked to talk to you and

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Speaker 2: get to know you. So the second phone call kind

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Speaker 2: of led into a conversation. So our initial interaction was

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Speaker 2: strictly by phone for several several months, I want to say,

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Speaker 2: maybe six seven months ago, just with the phone conversation,

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Speaker 2: So that's what started.

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Speaker 1: Did the homegirl know about his past and did she

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Speaker 1: tell you about it?

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Speaker 2: No, M I think she knew that, you know, he

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Speaker 2: wasn't a model citizen so to speak, But I don't

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Speaker 2: I found out later that she didn't know, you know,

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Speaker 2: the full extent of his past, because you know, they

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Speaker 2: were just platonic friends. They just had a friendship. And

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Speaker 2: I think that once him and I developed a relationship,

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Speaker 2: that kind of what led me to be privy to

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Speaker 2: because I didn't know it, you know initially either, I

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Speaker 2: learned as.

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Speaker 1: Time man, right, So what were your initial thoughts about him?

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Speaker 2: I was extremely impressed by his level of intelligence. Again,

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Speaker 2: there was an extreme age gap between the two of us.

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Speaker 2: But my mother had always told me that I was

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Speaker 2: an old soul, you know how your granny and your

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Speaker 2: mom say, you know you're old, so you've been here before,

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Speaker 2: what have you? So I was always very mature for

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Speaker 2: my age. So one of the things that really struck

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Speaker 2: me about him. I'm an avid reader, always been, always

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Speaker 2: got my nose stucked in the pages of a book

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Speaker 2: or now you know, listening to an audio or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And the first thing he asked me that stuck was

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Speaker 2: who was my favorite author? So that right there was

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Speaker 2: extremely impressive to me. He was very intelligent and extremely

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Speaker 2: easy to talk to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, when I heard that he asked you

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Speaker 1: who your favorite author was, I'm like, oh, that's a

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Speaker 1: new one.

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Speaker 3: Something completely.

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Speaker 2: That was definitely a new one and it was definitely different.

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Speaker 2: And I don't think i've heard that line since.

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Speaker 3: And that's God knows true.

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Speaker 1: Right right now, you said that there was a big

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Speaker 1: age difference, So I know you was between sixteen eighteen

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Speaker 1: and he was like either approaching thirty or he was

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Speaker 1: in his early thirties. Looking back, how did it make

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Speaker 1: you feel? Because I know, back in the day, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people didn't really pass judgment on age differences, that.

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Speaker 2: Is true, and back then I didn't really think it

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Speaker 2: was that big of a deal. Although you know, it

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Speaker 2: kind of took me by surprise when I discovered it.

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Speaker 2: But by the time I discovered it, I had already

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Speaker 2: became invested into getting to know him. So it wasn't

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Speaker 2: like he told me, you know, initially upfront, let me

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Speaker 2: tell you this all right away, because he didn't. But

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Speaker 2: once he did, it kind of shed light on, you know,

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Speaker 2: the amount of knowledge and the things that he was,

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Speaker 2: you know, knowledgeable about in teaching me. So at first

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Speaker 2: it really wasn't a big deal. But now that I

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Speaker 2: look back on that situation and I have daughters myself.

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Speaker 3: It should have been It should have been a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Should not have necessarily been something that even back then

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Speaker 2: that wasn't frowned upon, because there can be a level

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Speaker 2: of night eating, you know, naivety that I don't care

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Speaker 2: how you know, intelligent or how old of a soul

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Speaker 2: I was. According to my mom and my grandmother, sometimes

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Speaker 2: it's life that teaches you the best lessons, and the

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Speaker 2: earlier in life you are, you know, you kind of

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Speaker 2: shaded from some things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, facts, facts, And then he also mentioned he was

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Speaker 1: a pimp.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but he didn't tell me that upfront either. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, he was very selective in now that I

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Speaker 2: look back, and you know, now that I know what

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Speaker 2: I know, he's very selective in some of those things

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Speaker 2: that he did share. Yeah, and you know that little

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Speaker 2: situation because like, if you would have talked to me

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Speaker 2: early on that I'm thirty and I am a i

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Speaker 2: am a convicted feeling I have i'm drug issues and

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Speaker 2: I used to be a pimp, I probably would have said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I tell my friend you craw up and let her

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Speaker 2: get back to you. Right.

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Speaker 3: Actually that's the way to share upfront, right.

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Speaker 1: But I do feel like, as I was listening to

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Speaker 1: your story, I don't feel like he was grooming you

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Speaker 1: for a prostitution. I think he was just getting you

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Speaker 1: ready for a street life.

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Speaker 2: Okay, call me naive even now, because I never thought

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Speaker 2: about him grooming me for prostitution, but I never felt

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Speaker 2: like that's what he was grooming me for. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel like he was even grooming me for the

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Speaker 2: streets really because he kind of liked the idea of

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Speaker 2: me being sheltered from certain things.

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Speaker 3: I kind of just feel like.

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Speaker 2: He, you know, wanted me to He wanted to be

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Speaker 2: able to teach me things that I didn't know, not

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Speaker 2: necessarily just about the streets, about life period.

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Speaker 3: Because at that.

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Speaker 2: Time, I was extremely, extremely naive to a lot of things.

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Speaker 2: The church world is basically what I was raised up

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Speaker 2: in my mother. My mother got saved and gave her

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Speaker 2: life to the Lord when I was eight or nine

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Speaker 2: years old, So pretty much that's all I knew. So

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Speaker 2: I didn't have any knowledge of you know, what a pimp.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I knew what a pimp was, or you know,

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Speaker 2: drugs and you know things of that nature. What experience

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Speaker 2: I did have was very limited, and it's only from

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Speaker 2: you know, what I saw at a distance, right.

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Speaker 1: But I also feel like there was a sense of

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Speaker 1: appreciation for the things he did put you on because

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Speaker 1: you were so sheltered naive.

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Speaker 2: Girl, Listen when I tell you, I know that things

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Speaker 2: happen for a reason. Yeah, And I don't regret anything

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Speaker 2: that I've ever went through in life, nothing, because I

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Speaker 2: do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I

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Speaker 2: do value and appreciate the things that he did teach

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Speaker 2: me because some of those lessons that I learned way

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Speaker 2: back then still hold true to the day.

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Speaker 3: Facts.

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Speaker 2: One of the things that you know he said to

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Speaker 2: me early on, you know, on top of age is

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Speaker 2: only a chronological proof of existence. I mean, that's the

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Speaker 2: line he used when he wanted to finally confess his age.

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Speaker 2: But he also taught me about self preservation and to

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Speaker 2: always make certain that I look out for myself first.

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Speaker 2: So I'm definitely indebted to him for a lot of

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Speaker 2: things that he taught me, and they still ring true

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Speaker 2: even to this day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I believe in that too. I feel

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Speaker 1: like the way of the world is It's a saying

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Speaker 1: that says the way of the universe is looking of

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Speaker 1: her self because ain't nobody gonna hold you down like

222
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Speaker 1: how you hold yourself down.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, you you were also employed by a check

225
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Speaker 1: cash and place where you work your way up to management.

226
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Speaker 1: So tell us about that and how your boyfriend will

227
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Speaker 1: always put emphasis on safety.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So one of the things that you know and

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Speaker 2: the life lessons that he, you know, began to teach me.

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Speaker 2: Number one, he told me not to be.

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Speaker 3: So trusting after I started talking.

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Speaker 2: To him, you know, he said, you know, you're you're

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Speaker 2: very trusting, so you probably shouldn't be, you know, be

234
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Speaker 2: distrusting giving him so much of my time over the phone,

235
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Speaker 2: sharing things with him, you know, about my life experiences

236
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Speaker 2: and the things that I was going through then, and

237
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Speaker 2: he was right. I definitely, I was definitely very trusting.

238
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Speaker 2: So as I began to our relationship began to develop,

239
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Speaker 2: and by the time I got employed at the check

240
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 2: cashing company, that was something that he would always say

241
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Speaker 2: to me, is stop being so trusting. You know, you know,

242
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,760
Speaker 2: you can't trust everybody. Every everything that you see is

243
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Speaker 2: not you know surface. You know, in a Christian home,

244
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Speaker 2: you all you're taught to see the best in people,

245
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Speaker 2: and that is definitely something that I did and still do,

246
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Speaker 2: you know.

247
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Speaker 3: For the most part.

248
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Speaker 2: But when I got the job, one of the things

249
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Speaker 2: that I mean, I'm extremely excited about this. At this

250
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 2: point in my life, you know, my career or work,

251
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,680
Speaker 2: my work experience was limited, you know, starting off at

252
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Speaker 2: McDonald's and you know then I started working through temporary

253
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Speaker 2: agencies and things of that nature. So my work experience

254
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Speaker 2: was very limited. So once I got this position, when

255
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Speaker 2: I started the job, you know, told him about it

256
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 2: and things.

257
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Speaker 3: Like that, he was, you know, very encouraging. I was like,

258
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Speaker 3: good for you.

259
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Speaker 2: You know. When I went for the interview, I didn't

260
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 2: think I would get it, and he was like, no,

261
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,840
Speaker 2: you gotta thinking like that.

262
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,240
Speaker 3: And then when I got it, it was like I.

263
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,960
Speaker 2: Told you to start having faith in yourself. And so

264
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 2: I was very excited about it. So quite naturally, because

265
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about it, I talked about it, you know, like,

266
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,280
Speaker 2: you know, this is what I do, blah blah blah.

267
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:19,200
Speaker 2: You know, so and then I'm thinking, looking back, you know,

268
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 2: hindsights twenty twenty, I'm thinking that, you know, how you

269
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,360
Speaker 2: share with your mate your day, what you did that

270
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 2: that was basically what we were doing, sharing our I'm

271
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 2: sharing my day, sharing what I did. But again, because

272
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,480
Speaker 2: he always taught me not to be so trusting. He

273
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 2: would always tell me, you know, like things like keep

274
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 2: my car door locked, make certain that I don't care

275
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 2: around so much cash in my purse, you know, things

276
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,520
Speaker 2: like that stuff that I didn't have a five figure

277
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,800
Speaker 2: in my life. So he took that place, and my

278
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,080
Speaker 2: mother never told me that. You know, my mother was

279
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Speaker 2: just as trusting as I was. So when working at

280
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,640
Speaker 2: the check cashing company, I would say, you know, this happened,

281
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 2: that happened. You know, Periodically he would say things like,

282
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 2: you know, make certain you always remember self preservation. You

283
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 2: got to look out for yourself. You can't trust everybody,

284
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 2: you know, make certain that when you leave there, you uh,

285
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,440
Speaker 2: you know, go straight to your car after dark things

286
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,840
Speaker 2: of this nature. So I'm just thinking I'm sharing with

287
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 2: the person that I you know, that I'm in a

288
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 2: relationship with my day to day activities.

289
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Speaker 1: Did you ever feel a way about about your mom

290
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 1: not putting you on to certain things like have that

291
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,320
Speaker 1: you ever thought about that?

292
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 2: Well, the relationship with me and my mom is a

293
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,880
Speaker 2: whole another situation all by itself. But my mother is

294
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 2: one of the strongest individuals that walks the planet Earth,

295
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 2: and I tell her all the time, she is my

296
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 2: my she ro. My mother has gone through things in

297
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 2: life that have clouded her judgment and her perspective on life.

298
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 2: Life certain things because of what she was subjected to

299
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,920
Speaker 2: and what she endured as a child and as an adult.

300
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 2: But my mom was not as present as she needed

301
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 2: to be. And that is because, as far as I'm concerned,

302
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 2: once she became a part of the church, the church

303
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 2: was her life. And you know, instead of her family

304
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,640
Speaker 2: and her children being primary, the church became primary. So

305
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 2: there was more tension and focus put on the church

306
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 2: than it was on her children. And there were years,

307
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:45,479
Speaker 2: years that I regretted her I had regret and anger

308
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 2: toward her because of that, but her and I able

309
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 2: to work through it, especially once I learned some of

310
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 2: the things that she.

311
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 3: Endured in life.

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Speaker 1: Right, it's kind of like, you know, just knowing about

313
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: your story and doing research, it sounds like it's a

314
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,359
Speaker 1: full circle moment because if I'm not mistaken, you're a

315
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 1: first lady of a church.

316
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 4: Right, absolutely, yes, absolutely, yes, the same church I denounced

317
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 4: and said I'd never be a part of yah right, absolutely, yeah.

318
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 4: But I believe too that God allowed me to see

319
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,920
Speaker 4: suffer and endure certain things so that now that I'm

320
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 4: in position, I won't let history repeat itself.

321
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Speaker 1: Right right now, tell us about the day that you

322
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: will rob, which I thought was crazy. She looking at me,

323
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 1: y'all through her glasses.

324
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Speaker 3: So it was just it was a you know, a

325
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 3: typical day for me.

326
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 2: Again, as I said, before I had gotten this position

327
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 2: and worked my way up, I was in one location

328
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 2: and I did so well in that location that they

329
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 2: decided to open up a second branch. And then once

330
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 2: I went to the second branch and got properly trained,

331
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 2: I you know, climbed up the last and that branch

332
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,440
Speaker 2: was mine. So in any given day, I go in,

333
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 2: I you know, unlock the door, unalarmed the building, get

334
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 2: everything all together, you know, for for business. So it

335
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 2: was a typical day, and it was a summer day.

336
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 2: I did remember that because I remember how bright the

337
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 2: sun was that day.

338
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 3: And on this day, in this.

339
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 2: Check check cashing company, you enter into the front door

340
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 2: and you're in a lobby and then directly in front

341
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 2: of you are you know, three windows where tellers work

342
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 2: behind these windows, and you are blocked in by bulletproof glass,

343
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 2: and then there's like a pass through window that you

344
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 2: get your I D and you pass back the money

345
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 2: and so forth, so on and so forth.

346
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 3: So at this time, though, I'm.

347
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 2: On the outside of in the lobby and shining the

348
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 2: windows and you know, doing things of that nature. It

349
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 2: was a slow time. So I just went out and

350
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 2: I'm doing this and when you come through the door,

351
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 2: it automatically rings, like you know, the bell rings, let

352
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 2: you know somebody in. So as soon as I heard

353
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 2: the bell, enter, of course, I go straight to the door.

354
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 2: And the door is you know, you had to put

355
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 2: a key in to open up the door. So I'm

356
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: going to unlock the door, I said, I be right

357
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,679
Speaker 2: with you. I did say that, be right with you,

358
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,679
Speaker 2: and I went to the door to unlock it to

359
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 2: get back there in order to you know, get in

360
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 2: front of the window and handle business. But when I

361
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,880
Speaker 2: proceeded to unlock the door, there was a young man

362
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,640
Speaker 2: who said to me, do exactly what I tell you,

363
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 2: and you won't get hurt. Right so beside, and he

364
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:39,679
Speaker 2: put a gun to my back. So initially, of course,

365
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:45,199
Speaker 2: fear pearified. That's the first thing that struck me. But

366
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 2: then the second thing that I remembered, because this is

367
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: something that was told to me repeatedly, is if anything

368
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 2: ever happened and somebody come in there and they try

369
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 2: to rob this, try to rob the place, don't you

370
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: ever be a hero and do exactly what they tell

371
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 2: you in order to you know, self preservation. Again, So,

372
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 2: even though I'm terrified, I unlocked the door and I

373
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: go to the back, and I'm doing exactly what he said.

374
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 3: He said, take me to the safe.

375
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 2: I took him to the safe, and then he cleared

376
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: the safe, and then he said take me to the registers,

377
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 2: and so I did that.

378
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 3: I took him to the registers.

379
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: He took everything that, you know, everything he could get

380
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 2: he would get But as quickly as it happened, is

381
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: as quickly as it was over, I hit the panic

382
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 2: button because there is a button up under the counter,

383
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 2: like a silent button that you were supposed to push

384
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 2: and police and everybody was there with me within a

385
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: few minutes. Wow.

386
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 1: And did you think he was going to die in

387
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 1: that moment.

388
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 2: At that particular moment that the gun was put to

389
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 2: my back and my little little young life flashed before me,

390
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 2: all I wanted to do was survive, to get out

391
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 2: of that situation. And all I remember, you know, thinking

392
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 2: in my head is just do what he say, do

393
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 2: what he sackering. I can remember being so nervous, and

394
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 2: I do remember him saying, just do what I say.

395
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hurt you. Just do what I say.

396
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hurt you, even though people tell you

397
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 2: that you got to not Yeah, right, you know what

398
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,400
Speaker 2: I'm saying. So Yeah, at that particular moment in time,

399
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure whether or not I was gonna make

400
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 2: it out of that situation.

401
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 3: I lied. That was definitely one of my fears.

402
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: You know, they gotta close down check cash in places

403
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: because I feel like those places are not safe.

404
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 2: I would agree, I would definitely agree, But I can

405
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 2: also tell you they'll probably never go away because there's

406
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 2: always somebody out here who had, you know, can't get

407
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 2: a legitimate banking an account for whatever reason or another.

408
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: So I mean, it's it's to me, it's it's perpetuating

409
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 2: crime within the inner city because you know, it's usually

410
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 2: those that are that are underprivileged, and you know that

411
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 2: that can't afford to or for whatever reason, you know,

412
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 2: can't get a bank account or checking account. So I

413
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: don't think they're going nowhere in no time soon. Thirty

414
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 2: five years later, it's still going yeah.

415
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 1: And then like you said, it's for me, like every

416
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 1: check ash in place that I saw Sea is in

417
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: the hood, absolutely right.

418
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 2: You ain't gonna se him in the suburbs, right, Definitely,

419
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 2: absolutely in the hood.

420
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: So y'all want something to happen that part, Wow, that's crazy.

421
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: So when you spoke to the detectives, and I can

422
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: only imagine how much of a nervous wrecue was he

423
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: gave you a pill? Was it ecstasy or something?

424
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 2: Well, when I hit the button and the cops came

425
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: from everywhere, quite naturally by the time I hit that button.

426
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 2: Is when all of my emotions just started flooding out.

427
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 3: Oho and crying, you know, all of that, the whole.

428
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 2: Shebang when they came in. You know, I'm extremely nervous

429
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 2: that the police came in and a detector showed up.

430
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 2: The owner of the facility came and I'm a bubbling mess.

431
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I couldn't. I ain't never

432
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 2: cried so her. So I didn't talk to them initially

433
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,959
Speaker 2: that day because I was a mess, right, you know.

434
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 2: So I was giving a card and said, you know,

435
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: we need to talk to you so you can give

436
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 2: us a formal statement and you know, just get get

437
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 2: We'll give you a day or two and reach out

438
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 2: and then you know, we do need to get a

439
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: formal statement on record on file.

440
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 3: So yes, that.

441
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 2: Came the time for me to talk to them. It

442
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 2: was only a couple of days later I called the

443
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 2: detectives set up a time. He said, you know, come

444
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 2: in to the police department. We just need to get

445
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: your statement on record. And then it's also customary for

446
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 2: you to do a light detector test in order to

447
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 2: roule you out as a suspect because sometimes when these

448
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 2: things happen. It's an inside job. So a few days

449
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 2: later I did go down to go down. Of course,

450
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 2: I called him, told them everything that happened, and you know,

451
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 2: you okay and all of this and all of that,

452
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 2: and I'm so glad that you're okay, and you know,

453
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 2: told them everything that you know, the detectives had to say.

454
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 2: And so when it was time for me to go

455
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: down to visit the detectives, he said, I'll take you.

456
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 2: Run our way down to the detectives. And he's saying

457
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 2: to me, you.

458
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 3: Gotta make certain that you.

459
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 2: Calm and not you know, because the the the light

460
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 2: detective test picks up your emotions. You know, this is

461
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 2: this is you know so and me, I'm still a

462
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 2: bubbling mess.

463
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 3: You know, even a couple of days later.

464
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 2: I'm still a bubbling I'm still a mess, like because

465
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 2: like you know, that was like the.

466
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,959
Speaker 3: Most horrible thing at that point in my life that

467
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 3: ever happened to me.

468
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 2: I'm on my way down to the detectives, crying like id,

469
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 2: eating moneions, you know, things like, you know, you gotta

470
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 2: calm down, you gotta relax, you gotta because these you know,

471
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,719
Speaker 2: when they they're going to talk to you and then

472
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 2: when they give you this light detentive test, you know,

473
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: you gotta be you gotta be calm. So as we

474
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: were going down there and I'm crying, you know, he's

475
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 2: telling me get myself together, and he said, listen here,

476
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you this and you put this under

477
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 2: your tongue and it's going to help you relax. And now,

478
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 2: looking back retrospectively, I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah,

479
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: I wasn't at that particular moment. I just really wanted

480
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,719
Speaker 2: to get that part of my life over and move on.

481
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 2: So yeah, he gave me a pill and it dissolved

482
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 2: under my tongue. I went in and I met with

483
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 2: the detectives. They took a formal statement. I signed my statement.

484
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 2: I completed a light detective test. This interview took several hours.

485
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: Several hours.

486
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: Do you think they thought you was a part of it?

487
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: You know, because I'm I'm a black girl, and I'm

488
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: working in an establishment that handles a lot of money,

489
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 2: and this establishment was not owned by a black girl.

490
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 2: So I think initially, quite naturally, they were suspicious of

491
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 2: whether or not I had anything to do with it.

492
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 2: But in my nativity I didn't think that though.

493
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't think that, all right, I didn't

494
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 3: at that particular time. I didn't. I didn't think that.

495
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: And do you know what type of pill that you took?

496
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: A valiant?

497
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: Oh wow? Well, yeah, that'll calm you down.

498
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a valiant Wow.

499
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: So when did you start to realize that something wasn't

500
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: right about the robbery and your boyfriend?

501
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 2: Okay, so the interview took place with the detective. I

502
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 2: you know, they passed the light detective test. I was

503
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 2: ruled out as a suspect, right, So when I'm having

504
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: this conversation and you know, and I should have known

505
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 2: looking back, because my boyfriend was a kind of person that,

506
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 2: you know, drop you off and pick you up type thing.

507
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 2: But he stuck around. He didn't leave, He stuck around.

508
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: I should have known then that was odd because that

509
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 2: was ie for him.

510
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,120
Speaker 3: Right. So, after it was all over, and.

511
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm I go out and him and

512
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 2: I are going and we were aheaded to get something

513
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 2: to eat, and he's like, and I'm saying, I'm so

514
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 2: glad this is over. I'm so glad this is part

515
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 2: of my life. Is I did not ever go back

516
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 2: to the check cashing company. I didn't want to have

517
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 2: no parts. I wanted a secure job from then on.

518
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: Like you know, no, that was too it was too

519
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 2: close for comfort for me. So I'm saying this to him, like, okay, yep,

520
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm so glad this is over, so glad that, you know,

521
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 2: I can move on with my life now and get

522
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 2: this behind me. And so, you know, later on that day,

523
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 2: as the day went on, you know, he was saying,

524
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: he said to me, I got something to tell you,

525
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 2: but I don't want you to judge me. That's how

526
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: he started it. So I'm thinking at this point, like,

527
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 2: because by.

528
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 3: Now I've kind of learned quite a bit about you, sir.

529
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 2: You know, I probably should have judged you for sir,

530
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 2: but I still maintained a relationship with you. So I'm

531
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: thinking to myself like, oh, okay, so so so what

532
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: else is it that I don't know? And so he

533
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: said I was actually behind it, and I said it

534
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 2: was behind the robbery. He just said I was actually

535
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 2: behind it. So I said behind what?

536
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: Wow?

537
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 2: And then you know that's what he confirmed it for me.

538
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: Wow, that is crazy because the fact that you had

539
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: a gun to your back and at this point, you're

540
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: a mother of two.

541
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 3: Yep.

542
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 2: Wow, I'm a mother of too. I wasn't even twenty

543
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: years old yet, I don't think. And it was like

544
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 2: one of the most traumatic things that had ever.

545
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: I can imagine.

546
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then to know and even thinking back, it

547
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: just I still get emotional thinking back because to know

548
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 2: that it was behind us, like really right, and then

549
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 2: you know, he just kept reassuring me, you know, he

550
00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: wasn't gonna hurt you. The gun wasn't loaded. But it

551
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 2: was at that particular moment that I really really realized

552
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: how diabolical this guy was.

553
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you think you stayed after that? You

554
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: think it was because of the kids.

555
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't. I don't even want to say

556
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 2: it was because of the kids. I want to say

557
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: that it was mainly because of the connection and the

558
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: love that I thought I had for him. Right. He

559
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: was my first of many things, and he was at

560
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 2: that point a very integral part of my life. And

561
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: I convinced myself that even though he was behind it,

562
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: that he was not going to allow me to be hurt.

563
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, because you were still here.

564
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

565
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I know you mentioned that he was

566
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 1: on drugs. Did you know he was on drugs at

567
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: the time or did he hire from you?

568
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely did, he absolutely did. Now, I don't want to

569
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 2: give the impression that I thought that this was a

570
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: model citizen that I was dealing with, right, yeah, listen,

571
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: And I never I never shared this story publicly in

572
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: death until recently, and because I am a carrier of

573
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: the gospel, so I go around, I go all over

574
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: the country, and you know, I speak at different churches

575
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 2: and on different platforms and different things. So I have

576
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 2: given bits and pieces of it, but I never really

577
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: gave you know, the history behind it, so to speak.

578
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 2: So I don't want anybody to think I thought I

579
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: was dealing with a model citizen. Okay, this young man

580
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 2: at this time, he had two degrees, so he was

581
00:31:56,200 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: a college graduate. He had a job at Channel thirteen,

582
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: which is one of our local TV stations as at

583
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 2: you know, he worked behind the scenes with the cameramen,

584
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: and extremely intelligent, had a lot going on in life.

585
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 2: But I also knew full well that he wasn't a

586
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 2: model citizen, you know, I mean I knew that, you know,

587
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm with him, so I know full well

588
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: that he was not perfect. I knew he had he

589
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 2: had a past. I knew that he had he had

590
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 2: previously been married, I had been introduced to, you know,

591
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: his ex wife and his two so I knew this

592
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 2: man was not a perfect person, so to speak. But

593
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: I did not know the depths of what he was

594
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: battling with until after this robbery took place. And of course,

595
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 2: the funds for the robbery gave him the ability to

596
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 2: have his his drug of choice, you know, because he

597
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 2: had plenty of money to do it. And I think

598
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: that was ultimately what led down, you know, the rabbit

599
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: hole to you know, what was to come right.

600
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: What made you decide to start sharing your story because

601
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: I can tell like you're I do feel like you're

602
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: being transparent, but I also feel like you're holding back

603
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: a little bit, and I feel like that in the

604
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 1: other interview, is it because of you know, you are

605
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 1: a first lady, or is the story just embarrassing? Or like,

606
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: how does it make you feel to share your story?

607
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm so glad that you asked that question. Let

608
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 2: me address the transparency first and the possibility of the

609
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: perception of holding things back. Right, my husband, my husband

610
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: and I have been married. It'll be thirty two years

611
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: in February.

612
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 3: Oh nice.

613
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, so my husband knows my story is an open

614
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: book to him.

615
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: And well, he says, it's a part in your story.

616
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can get into that a

617
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: little bit later. Now, my children were not privy to

618
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 2: the details of this story.

619
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 3: Until this year.

620
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

621
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 2: Okay, so they knew about the surface of it, but

622
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 2: they were not privy to the details until this year.

623
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 2: So some of my hesitation was not so much what

624
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: other people were going to think, because I feel like

625
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 2: one of the things that I bring to the table

626
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 2: as a first lady is the baby. But they'll tell

627
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 2: you my church, maybe they tell you I keep it real, okay,

628
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: because I grew up in a society in a generation

629
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: that always told us what to do, but didn't necessarily

630
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: show us how to do it. So I'm not ashamed

631
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 2: of my past. I'm not ashamed of I had children

632
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: out of wetlock, pregnant at sixteen years old, while in

633
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 2: the church. All of these things took place while I

634
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 2: was in the church. Yeah, where a lot of people

635
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 2: kind of frown on where they came from, and you know,

636
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 2: don't necessarily want to dive off into it. I'm not

637
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 2: ashamed of it. My hesitation is in the perception and

638
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: the backlash that my children will get as a result

639
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: of this story because this story involves their father. Yeah,

640
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 2: facts involves their father.

641
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. So there is my that was my only.

642
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: You know, so some of the things that I'm thinking

643
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 2: in my head as I respond, you know, I just

644
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 2: want to make certain that as a mother, I'm the

645
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 2: one that chose him. They didn't choose to be born,

646
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,239
Speaker 2: they didn't choose to be brought here. I made those choices, good, bad,

647
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 2: or indifferent. So I did not want my children to

648
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 2: suffer backlash as a result of me sharing a story

649
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 2: that had to do with their father.

650
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: Right, So how do they feel about you sharing the

651
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: story now?

652
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 2: The only reason I'm sharing the story, as I look

653
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: back at you, gaining over my glasses, it is because

654
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 2: of his children, the children and him and I share

655
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: together when I we recently had a trip to Puerto Rico,

656
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 2: a girl's trip to Puerto Rico. They're both they're both daughters,

657
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 2: and we had a girl's trip to Puerto Rico. And

658
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 2: on this trip, it was a very bonding experience. It

659
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: was a very cleansing experience. And it was an experience.

660
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 2: It gave me the opportunity one on one on an

661
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 2: uninterrupted no grandchildren, no children, no spouses, just when we

662
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: were just able to bond and connect with each other. Yeah,

663
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 2: and I shared the nuts and boats of this story.

664
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 2: Oh wow, and this is only a paragraph of my life, sweetie.

665
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: I know, people, when I once this story got out,

666
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: I was like, don't you I know, that's only a

667
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: paragraph in this book.

668
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 3: That I called life.

669
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: So once I explain and you know, got into the

670
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 2: nuts and bolts of it with my daughters after crying,

671
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 2: and you know, all of the things that went into

672
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 2: hearing everything that I went through as it relates to

673
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:21,919
Speaker 2: just this story. Yeah, my daughter said to me, Mommy,

674
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 2: you've got to tell your story. There are so many

675
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 2: people that could benefit from your transparency. You have been

676
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: transparent and with us and other people as it relates

677
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: to certain things, but only so far. And so the

678
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: entire reason that I decided to share this store openly,

679
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 2: it is because of my youngest daughter and the fact

680
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: that she felt that this generation is hungry for truth,

681
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 2: This generation is hungry for transparency. This generation, you know,

682
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 2: they kind of look up to who I am now,

683
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 2: the things that I've accomplished in life and where I

684
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 2: am now. But y'all ain't got a clue what I

685
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: went through in order to get here.

686
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

687
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: So my daughter, that's that's the that's the whole reason

688
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 2: that this journey of sharing on a public platform, this

689
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 2: story anyways, came into fruition.

690
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: And I'm telling y'all, she's a woman of a certain age,

691
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: but she don't look like it.

692
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 2: She get that a lot.

693
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: Listen, she looking like she in her late twenties, early thirties.

694
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: I get that a lot. I get that a lot.

695
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

696
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 2: But again, like I said that, this is just a small,

697
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: a small segment of my life. I am definitely one

698
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: of those from from Ashes to where I am now

699
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: if it had not been for the transforming hand of God.

700
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 2: Because after that relationship, I was a broken and shattered

701
00:38:56,239 --> 00:39:05,240
Speaker 2: and crushed individual that chose not to see neon signs

702
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 2: that were being flashed at me from everywhere. If Red

703
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 2: Flashes was a person, I would be the post child

704
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: for it.

705
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,879
Speaker 1: Do you think you would share other parts of your story?

706
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 1: Because I do feel like this, Yeah.

707
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 3: Oh, most certainly absolutely. This right here. Also, I'm writing

708
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 3: a memoir.

709
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 2: Oh nice, And I began that process. One of the

710
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 2: things that this gentleman also presented to me at a

711
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 2: very young age. And that's why I say to this day,

712
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 2: there's lessons that he taught me that I could ever

713
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 2: stand on, and that is the power of journaling. I

714
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 2: began to journal at a young age, and so I

715
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 2: maintain that journaling. And so I have oodles and oodles

716
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 2: and oodles of journals of my experiences and I did

717
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: them for therapy because I couldn't I didn't really have

718
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 2: anybody to talk to. So I would always let it

719
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: out in my book or in my in my journals.

720
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: And then once I started like, this is my life.

721
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: So I never thought about it as you know, being

722
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 2: so shocking or being so you know, unbelievable or you know, wow,

723
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,720
Speaker 2: like it was my life. So it was not something

724
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 2: that was, I want to say, that big of a

725
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: deal until I started showing sharing did some pieces of it.

726
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: And when I started sharing did some pieces of it,

727
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 2: people looking at me like you you you you went

728
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: through what you said.

729
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, y'all, and you don't look like your story,

730
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: so that part, yeah, so people are shocked yeah.

731
00:40:54,719 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 2: Absolutely so, Yes, this is just the the beginning of

732
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 2: of me sharing the battles that I went through in

733
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 2: order to get to where I am at.

734
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: I will say, when I was listening to your story,

735
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,800
Speaker 1: I do feel like you held him into a high regard,

736
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: like even though he did some stuff that we can

737
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: side out on, I never felt like you bad mouth

738
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: him in a sense like you can. I honestly do

739
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 1: feel like you can tell that the love you had

740
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 1: for him was deep and it was.

741
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 5: Sincere absolutely yeah, absolutely, Again, I can let me reiterate,

742
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 5: he was my first of many many things and.

743
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 2: At his core, you know, because this is something that

744
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 2: was not you know, displayed in that first interview. Again,

745
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 2: you know, I understand that they were looking for click faith,

746
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: and I get that that's okay. I understand that that.

747
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 3: At his core he was a good guy.

748
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, just a person that was battling a lot

749
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 2: of demons. Yeah, a person that came from a childhood

750
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: of his own. But at the core, he was a

751
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,879
Speaker 2: good guy that taught me a lot of life sustaining lessons.

752
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:13,280
Speaker 2: He just was battling his own demons, and I definitely

753
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: held him to a higher regard than I even held

754
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 2: myself and that relationship, though, is a relationship that taught

755
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 2: me a lot of valuable things in life. But it

756
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 2: was also one of the most crushing experiences I ever had,

757
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: because I had to then look back and see that

758
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 2: not that there wasn't love on both sides, because to

759
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 2: a certain degree I believed that there was. But I

760
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,840
Speaker 2: know for surety, or for a certainty, that there was

761
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 2: more investment on my side than on his.

762
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 3: There were so many.

763
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 2: Different times that I was put in harm's way, that

764
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 2: me and my children were putting harmsway.

765
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember, I didn't.

766
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 2: Even have the sense to realize just how many dangerous

767
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 2: situations that I got myself into.

768
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: I remember you mentioned a trip to Columbus and he

769
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: purchased That's when he purchased the gun. And then he

770
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: wanted to teach you how to shoot it.

771
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 2: Yes, because I was fearful. Yeah, this is the first

772
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 2: time I had ever seen a real gun, and you know,

773
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 2: I was extremely fearful. I used to be a very

774
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people won't be able to

775
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: be this. I'm gonna let the hustle out. I'm gonna

776
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 2: let it out there because everybody you know what I'm saying.

777
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 2: They look at you know what I'm saying. I used

778
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: to be extremely tended and shy. Hmmm, very timid and

779
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 2: very shy. Okay, I know you can't tell that now,

780
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 2: but that's who I was. So a lot of those

781
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 2: walls he helped to bring down because like the moment

782
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 2: I laid my eyes on the gun, I'm like, right like,

783
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 2: oh my God, get it away from me. Like you

784
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 2: know what I mean, I'm like patches and he like, no, No,

785
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 2: you ain't gonna do that.

786
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 3: No, while you touch it.

787
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 2: And girl, I thought I thought Jesus, Mary and Joseph

788
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 2: was coming after me when I touched that gun.

789
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

790
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 2: So, I mean, I'm like, you know, so a lot

791
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 2: of those walls he brought down, you know, like, no,

792
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 2: you're not gonna be afraid of it because it's gonna

793
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 2: be around. Yeah, it's here for protection and in order

794
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 2: for you to get over your fear, you're gonna have

795
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 2: to touch it.

796
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to hold it.

797
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 2: I'm looking at him, you know, like no, But I listened,

798
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: and I felt better about myself. However strange that may sound, Okay,

799
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 2: y'all know what, y'all every strange that my son.

800
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 3: I felt better about.

801
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 2: Myself once I actually picked it up, touched it, held it.

802
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 2: You know, I thought I was good. He was like, no,

803
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna show you how to shoot it. Wow.

804
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh no, I don't even know how.

805
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 2: To shoot it. I'm alright, and you had in it,

806
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 2: you know, I'm alright, and you you know I didn't

807
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 2: touched it. You know what I'm saying. But I don't know.

808
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 2: There's no need for me to be have to you

809
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 2: just never know when you ever have yourself in a

810
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 2: situation where you'll need to learn know how to use it.

811
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 2: It's what he said, and I want you to always

812
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 2: be able to protect yourself. Remember, self preservation is key. Yeah.

813
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 3: So he taught me how to shoot it.

814
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 2: Wow.

815
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 1: But then you when did you start to think like, oh,

816
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: he had other motives for this.

817
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 2: To this day, I.

818
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 3: Really don't think he did.

819
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 2: To this day, I really don't think he did. I

820
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 2: really think what he was trying to show me or

821
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 2: to teach me is the things in life that a

822
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 2: father never did and a mother never would. I really,

823
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 2: to this day, I really think that, you know, because

824
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 2: that's just part of one of the things he taught me.

825
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 2: You know, I just think he was trying to educate

826
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 2: me on life because I had been so sheltered. Yeah,

827
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 2: I really don't and I could be wrong, but in

828
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 2: my perception, I don't think that's I don't think he

829
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 2: had a motive other than educating me. I mean, like,

830
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 2: I'm a person that I never smoked something I never did,

831
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 2: I never drunk, and I tell you I live a

832
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 2: sheltered life. I've never you know, my only my one

833
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 2: and only experience with alcohol is you know, my brother

834
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 2: challenged me to a dear and the long and the

835
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 2: shirt of it is he wanted me to get sick

836
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 2: as a dog, so I would never touch it. So

837
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: I had one encounter in fifty five years with alcohol.

838
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,840
Speaker 2: So when I tell you I'm sheltered, I'm like, I

839
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,399
Speaker 2: didn't know, you know nothing, And he knew this so

840
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 2: like he would. He was a marijuana smoker. I never

841
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: was no model, but he wanted me to learn how

842
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: to roll a blood. And I'm thinking, like, Okay, kodls

843
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 2: to me, there's this church girl who knew nothing but

844
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 2: marble study and you know frior practice and you know

845
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,399
Speaker 2: usherboard this unless your word that and I knew how

846
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 2: to roll the blunt and fire a gun.

847
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 1: Now I know you felt good about yourself.

848
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 2: Hey, that par You could tell me nothing at this

849
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,959
Speaker 2: time though, and even looking back all of these years later,

850
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 2: I really don't think he had a motive because I

851
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 2: just think he was just trying to teach me things

852
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 2: that I didn't.

853
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, or things you gonna find out eventually.

854
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 2: That part, yeah, that part, yeah, ye.

855
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: So tell us about the day when the Textave detectives

856
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 1: showed up to your house.

857
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 2: Okay, let me tell you this really quick before I

858
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:38,879
Speaker 2: jumped to the detective story. His drug of choice was

859
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: crack cocaine, dinge and and it was an epidemic in

860
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 2: our society, especially in the African American community. His drug

861
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: of choice was crack cocaine, okay, And so at this

862
00:47:55,719 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 2: time I had multiple family members who were addicted to

863
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 2: crack cocaine. So I was witnessing this addiction all around me,

864
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 2: right as well as his Okay, and this is after

865
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 2: the robbery, So now he has he has the means

866
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: in order to perpetuate the use of this crack cocaine

867
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 2: on a consistent basis. So I can remember, and I

868
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 2: think this is very important to say. I can remember

869
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 2: thinking to myself, what is it about this drug that

870
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 2: has everybody going why? Right? I can remember thinking this,

871
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 2: so I can remember saying to him, let me try it,

872
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 2: because I want to know what everybody else is so,

873
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 2: you know, going go about right. Yah. One of the

874
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 2: things he's never been was a violent person. Okay, that's

875
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 2: one thing, by the grace of God, that he wasn't.

876
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 2: When I tell you, I saw another side of him

877
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: when I asked that question, because he said to me,

878
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 2: and he said it very pointingly, he said, listen, don't

879
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 2: you ever let me hear you say that, And don't

880
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,800
Speaker 2: you ever let me find out that you did any

881
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: type of dibbling dabbling in line about cocaine ever again

882
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 2: in life? Do you hear me?

883
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 3: Voice?

884
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 2: Raised? I like the whole that was the most aggressive

885
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 2: that I had ever seen him. So I feel like

886
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 2: if he was trying to, you know, to get me

887
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 2: into you know, like people were saying grooming or whatever,

888
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 2: he let me come along on that addiction right along

889
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 2: with him.

890
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point.

891
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: Most people like doing that with other people. Yeah, but

892
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,000
Speaker 2: he was adamant that angered him, and he said, don't

893
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 2: you ever that that's the curiosity.

894
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:50,720
Speaker 3: You will never lie.

895
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 5: Wow.

896
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 2: Okay, So that was the one and that still sticks

897
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 2: out to me to this day because he could have said, okay,

898
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 2: here you go, you know, but no, he was extremely

899
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 2: upset with me for even asking the question, because again,

900
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 2: I would ask questions about you know, I think a

901
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 2: lot of things that I didn't understand, and that was

902
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: the first time he shut me down. He shut me

903
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 2: down right fast and in a hurry, and.

904
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 3: They got he did.

905
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

906
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder how he got on.

907
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 2: I don't know that. I'm not sure, but I do

908
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 2: know that was an addiction that he didn't want me

909
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 2: to have to wrestle with it. And when I say,

910
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: I'm grateful to God that he took the stance that

911
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 2: he did at that particular time. Because I had been

912
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: thinking it in my head. I just didn't say nothing.

913
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 2: But finally I said something, and the moment he said

914
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 2: what he said, that was it for me. I'm like, oh,

915
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: say less, sir, you got it. But I just had

916
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 2: to put that in there because my life could have

917
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,919
Speaker 2: took a total different time had he actually agreed and said,

918
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 2: you know, at this time, money.

919
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 3: Wasn't a problem an issue.

920
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 2: You had all this money, and then the drug was

921
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 2: all the time. I smelt it, I saw him do it,

922
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: I saw my different family, so it was all around me. Yeah,

923
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 2: so my life could have taken a total different time

924
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 2: had he not been so adamant that that was not

925
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: a direction that I would ever ever ever go in

926
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 2: if he had anything to do with it.

927
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 1: Wow, that's crazy.

928
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

929
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 2: So back to when the day the detectives got in

930
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 2: touch with me. So at this time, I'm still living

931
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 2: at home with my mom, and my mother and my

932
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 2: stepfather had actually helped to purchase my first car. So

933
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: and at this point he didn't have a car, so

934
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 2: I would let him use mine. But my mama didn't

935
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 2: know because my mama would have killed me child, So

936
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 2: my mama didn't know. Right, So he had my car

937
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 2: because you know, I'm at home, I'm sleep and you know,

938
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 2: as long as he got it back to me the

939
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 2: next day for time for me to go to work,

940
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 2: you know, no harm, no file. So I get a

941
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 2: phone call, landline phone call again and it was late

942
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 2: and it was him and he said, you know, and

943
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 2: let me throw out that he was a he was

944
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 2: a compulsive liar, you know. Oh, he was definitely a

945
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 2: compulsive life. But anyways, I was upset because he hadn't

946
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,839
Speaker 2: brought my car back right and it's late. So when

947
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: he calls me, the first thing I say is now,

948
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 2: where is my car? My mom gonna kill me? And

949
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: he said, calm down, calm down, you gotta listen to me.

950
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 3: Something happened. Something happened.

951
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 2: He then proceeds to tell me that, you know, he

952
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 2: got shot. So I'm like, okay, yeah, but where are

953
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 2: my car at? Like I said, he's an a bitual life, like,

954
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 2: oh okay, so where my car at? You know what

955
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I'm here my mama at this point, like bro,

956
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 2: my mom about to kill me?

957
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, like where's my car?

958
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 2: Right? That's my that's scared. I kept saying like okay,

959
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 2: so like where's my car? You know? Then he was

960
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 2: like no, you must don't be. You ain't understanding me,

961
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 2: you know, like and he again he woke me up

962
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 2: out of a sleep too, So all I was thinking

963
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 2: about is like, okay, bro, where's my car? So he

964
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 2: really didn't go into detail about how he had gotten shot.

965
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 2: And at that point in time, when I hung the

966
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 2: phone up. I didn't believe they had gotten shot anyway.

967
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 2: I just thought that this was a lie he's telling,

968
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 2: perpetuating because he no goods.

969
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: He well that he still had my car right, he

970
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:15,359
Speaker 1: wanted to keep along.

971
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 2: Hours later, detectives knock on our door and they wake

972
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 2: my mom up, and so you know, I got my

973
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 2: mother comes to my door and she like trying to

974
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 2: get your tail up. Some detective downstairs wanting to talk

975
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 2: to you about about something, something that didn't happen. You

976
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: better not be bringing o shame to my door.

977
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 3: You better not be having these folks.

978
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:38,439
Speaker 2: Baby. When I tell you, Mama want no joke. I'm like, Mom,

979
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 2: I'm getting up because it's like the crack of dawn,

980
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: you know, it's very early. We got to go and

981
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:46,279
Speaker 2: hear are these detectives and they proceed to tell me

982
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 2: that asked me did I know this individual? And I

983
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 2: said yes, and then they said that there was a

984
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 2: crime committed on the interior of my car and that

985
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 2: he was shot and at this time he was at

986
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:05,280
Speaker 2: the hospital. So you know, remember he called me and

987
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 2: I thought he was lying. And then they went on

988
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 2: to tell me that there was another gentleman that was shot,

989
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 2: but he died as a.

990
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 3: Result of his injuries.

991
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: Wow. So they say, you know, so there was a

992
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:22,879
Speaker 2: homicide committed on the interior of your car. Wow. Right,

993
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 2: So at this time, my whole world, you know, like,

994
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, are you kidding me?

995
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 3: Of course, he come my mama.

996
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 2: Her car. What you mean, haka? How sad.

997
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:34,720
Speaker 3: Mama around?

998
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:36,799
Speaker 1: That sounded like a black mama.

999
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 2: Baby listen, So you know, now I had to that's

1000
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: up to mama that you know, he had been driving

1001
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 2: my car. And so the detectives found me quite naturally

1002
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 2: because the car was registered to me, right and yeah,

1003
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,279
Speaker 2: and then my name, So that's what you know, brought

1004
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 2: them to my door.

1005
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: You think this was the first time he called a body.

1006
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't wow. Oh no, it wasn't wow.

1007
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: It was he was different man. Yeah, but okay, but

1008
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 2: but in his defense, he's still the fire of my girls.

1009
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 1: No, respectfully, respectfully, absolutely.

1010
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: He's still the father of my children.

1011
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 2: The first body he cramped was as a result of

1012
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 2: someone who was beating his mom.

1013
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 6: Oh but yeah, yeah so that yeah, so, and that

1014
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 6: is something that you know, he shared with me later

1015
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 6: on in the relationship.

1016
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,319
Speaker 1: This concludes Part one of this week's episode. Part two

1017
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: is dropping next year in twenty twenty four, So Merry

1018
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 1: Christmas everyone and have a beautiful, happy New Year until

1019
00:55:49,360 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 1: next time later. The Professional Homegirl podcast it is a

1020
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 1: production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts

1021
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

1022
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe

1023
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: and rate the show, and you can connect with me

1024
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 1: on social media at the PHG podcast