1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,160 Speaker 1: The things that we think are making us happy can 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: often be the things that are keeping us in prison. 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: And the things that we think have to be a 4 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: certain way in order to make us happy oftentimes can 5 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: be done in a completely different, more maintainable, more sustainable 6 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: way where you can also be happy. But what happens 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: is you have to let go of the belief that 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: that's the only way you can do it. 9 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, Emily Abodi here. 10 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 3: You are listening to episode one hundred and sixty of Hurdle, 11 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 3: a wellness focused podcast where I sit down with inspiring 12 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 3: individuals to talk about their big wins, tough moments, and 13 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 3: everything in between. On the show, you can expect vulnerability, motivation, 14 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 3: and candid discussions with everyone from top athletes and CEOs 15 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 3: to aspiring entrepreneurs and what it really takes to follow 16 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 3: your passions. My mission is simple to inspire you to 17 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 3: be your best self, move with intention, and have some 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 3: fun along the way. Today, for episode one hundred and sixty, 19 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 3: I am talking with Lourie Harder. She's a self love specialist, 20 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 3: host of the Forbes top rated Earn Your Happy podcast, 21 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 3: founder of the Bliss Project, author of a tribe called 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 3: Bliss founder of Light Pink, a new spiked Seltzer companies. Yeah, 23 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: she does a lot. Her story is super intriguing. I mean, 24 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 3: this woman went from small town life, growing up super religious, 25 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 3: coming into her own, leaving the religion, getting inspired by 26 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 3: fitness competitions, and ultimately making a massive pivot to land 27 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 3: herself in a completely different career path, one that she's 28 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 3: in now or her work, as I said before, revolves 29 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 3: around a lot as an entrepreneur, Laurie has a lot 30 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 3: going on, but because of that, she has so many 31 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 3: amazing takeaways and life lessons that I cannot wait to 32 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 3: share with you. I do want to say thanks to 33 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 3: y'all for being a little bit patient with me. The 34 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 3: last week has been chaos, but I am happy to 35 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 3: say that I am now officially a Brooklyn resident. I'm 36 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,239 Speaker 3: trying to set up this home, trying to get myself organized, 37 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 3: and I cannot appreciate all of your reaching out and 38 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 3: good messages and sweet thoughts enough. Make sure you're following 39 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 3: along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle Podcast. I am over 40 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 3: at Emily a Body and if you haven't done so yet, 41 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 3: it would mean the world to me if you would 42 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 3: pop in over over in to Apple Podcasts, rate and 43 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 3: review the show, give it five stars, tell the world 44 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 3: what you love about listening to Hurdle, And with that, 45 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 3: let's get to hurdling. 46 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 2: Today. 47 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,679 Speaker 3: I'm sitting down with Lori Harder, a self love specialist, 48 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 3: host of the Forbes top rated podcast Earn You're Happy, 49 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 3: also girlfriends in business, founder of the Bliss Project, author 50 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 3: of a tribe called Bliss, founder of light Pink, a 51 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 3: new Spiked Seltzer company. 52 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: Like, is there anything you do not do? 53 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: Lots so many things. Yes, It's it's funny. I'm probably 54 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: a lot like you, though, I feel like I just 55 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: I'm interested in things like and it's hard to say 56 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: no to things you're really interested in. I feel like 57 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: I say no all the time. 58 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 2: But I don't know, I feel like that's one of 59 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 2: the best pieces of advice though. 60 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 3: I mean, there's gonna be so many like entrepreneurial nuggets 61 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 3: in this conversation, but I've certainly heard you say this before. 62 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 3: I feel like every entrepreneur that I've talked with, spoken 63 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 3: with that's offered me advice, their biggest takeaway all the 64 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 3: time is say no more. 65 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, Warren Buffett says he you know, 66 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: he says he's successful because he says no to almost everything. 67 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: And then I was just talking to Dean Grascio, so 68 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: he came on our we do a Mastermind and he 69 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: came in there and we said, how do you like? 70 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: How do you do it? And you have such a 71 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: great family life and he said, you know, he said, 72 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: I literally say no to everything. And then finally people 73 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: stop asking. And that might be scary to some people, 74 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: but to me, it's interesting, so interesting. You know, you 75 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: got to make room for it. Somehow, you've got to 76 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: make room for it. 77 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 3: But also that idea then like people stopped asking, so 78 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 3: then perhaps if you're the person that wants something, it's 79 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 3: kind of a reminder because I think for me, certainly, 80 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 3: when it comes to asking people to come on the show, 81 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 3: sometimes I'm like, oh, they must be so inundated with requests. 82 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 3: I maybe I should wait until, like they're trying to 83 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 3: promote something, And sometimes I do that, but other times 84 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, if you don't ask, you don't get 85 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 3: so maybe these people are less inundated than even I hope. 86 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: I think sometimes they are. And what's so interesting is 87 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: and you know, you ask all the time, so you've 88 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: you've also learned like you can't take things personal. And 89 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: I think I've just gotten to this place with asking 90 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 1: where it's like, okay, if they don't like, I'm not 91 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: afraid to ask anymore and be super consistent with it, 92 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: because I feel like people who are really like sometimes 93 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: the people you really want to work with, or who 94 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 1: are really like clear on who they are, and they're 95 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: the people that maybe we strive to work with. They're 96 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: so clear typically on what they want to do and 97 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: what they don't want to do, that they're gonna tell you. 98 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: They're not gonna flake on you. They're not gonna be 99 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: around the bush. They're gonna be like, my plate's really full, 100 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 1: I'm not doing podcasts this year. Like it's so decisive 101 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: and it's so long term that like I have learned 102 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: I used to because I used to ask Marie Folio 103 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: to be on my podcast. I asked her. I've probably 104 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 1: asked her over twenty times, like to the point where 105 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: I should have saved some of these pitches. I'm sure 106 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: that I could find them, but like I wrote her 107 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: like a rap song, Like I literally like was doing 108 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: all of these things, and I started saving her nose 109 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: back to me because they were so good and done, 110 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: so loving but so firm that she was like not 111 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: doing podcasts right now that I saved them and started 112 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: using like that idea as replies to people who would 113 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: ask me. I'm like, thank you so much. So even 114 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: though you said no to me, you actually showed me 115 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: and taught me like one of the greatest ways to 116 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: say no to people. So I'm so freaking grateful. 117 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with it. 118 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 3: It Actually, that's that's such an interesting tactic and it 119 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 3: reminds me. When I sat down with Alex l she 120 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,359 Speaker 3: told me that learning how to say no over the 121 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 3: past couple of years was like one of the biggest 122 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 3: skills that she has come into her own with. And 123 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 3: she said that someone was similar to you in that 124 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 3: persistent nature trying to work with her on something. And finally, 125 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 3: I think her no involved some language that was like 126 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 3: I really appreciate you for respecting this boundary of mine 127 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 3: and unfortunately I just can't move it at this time, 128 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 3: and it was like, there's no more room for conversation. 129 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 2: No is no. 130 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 1: That's it, yep, totally totally, that's it. 131 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 3: Well, you said something here that I found really interesting 132 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: and I know will get us a little bit into 133 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:15,239 Speaker 3: your story, which is mentioning that when you are firm 134 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 3: on who you are, and I know that you, like 135 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 3: all of us, haven't always been super firm in who 136 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 3: you are, in owning who it is that you are 137 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 3: in your personality. 138 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: So why don't we rewind it. 139 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: Back a little bit and talk a little bit about 140 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 3: your backstory and where you grew up, which is in 141 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 3: the Up as the kids call it. 142 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: Yes, people are like, you grew up in the up 143 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: and that's like literally what we called it. So when 144 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: I would tell people that when I moved, they're just like, 145 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: I have no idea what you're talking about. You guys, 146 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: that is the upper Peninsula of Michigan. And we didn't 147 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: even think we were a part of Michigan because we 148 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: were you're not. So in the upper Peninsula of Michigan, 149 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: you're not actually connected to Lower Michigan. It's a bridge 150 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: separates you the Mackinaw Bridge. So we are connected to Wisconsin. 151 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: So we more identified more with Wisconsin than we even 152 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: did Michigan, which is why we probably just called ourselves 153 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: the Up. There's no Michigan in that at all. And 154 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm telling you that because if you didn't know where 155 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: it was, there's a reason. It's it's smaller, it's in 156 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 1: the woods, like it is very it's kind of it 157 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: kind of feels off the map, like we actually even 158 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: I It's funny because in my twenties I started traveling 159 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: to Canada a lot, and I felt more like a 160 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: Canadian like when I would meet and talk with them 161 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: than I did anybody else, which is very bizarre. So 162 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,239 Speaker 1: it's small town. Grew up in essentially, you know, isolated 163 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 1: about three three hours from anything that would resemble a city. 164 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: You know, if we were going to go school, close 165 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: shopping when we were young, we'd like drive three hours 166 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: to like go to some stores or go to the 167 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: small And so I was also raised in a more 168 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: restrictive religion. And the reason I share that is because 169 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: it went from a small town to make it even smaller, 170 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: because I was not allowed to hang out with people 171 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: outside of the religion. So the bubble became even smaller 172 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: of perspective of beliefs, of you know, what I was 173 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: exposed to, and so it was a very it's like 174 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 1: we only know what we know. And so from there 175 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 1: it was it was a very small, uh, just pool 176 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: of people that I was learning from experiences that I 177 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: was seeing. So when I became a teenager and sort 178 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: of like having these different thoughts and questioning different things 179 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: and wanting to do things that were kind of outside 180 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: of what was expected from the religion. You were kind 181 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: of expected to more like grow up and teach about 182 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: the religion and go door to door and convert people 183 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: and do all of those things. And so when I 184 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: had these ideas of like, oh my god, I think 185 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: I want to like be like a fitness role model. 186 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: I think that I want to be like a like 187 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: a celebrity fitness person. I think I want to help 188 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: all of these people transform, it was like so far 189 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: outside of what we were quote unquote kind of like 190 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: expected or almost allowed to do, because that would mean 191 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 1: my life would have to be integrated with a lot 192 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,959 Speaker 1: of people who were outside of the religion, so that 193 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: wouldn't work. And so when I was eighteen, I ended 194 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: up leaving and it was one of the hardest things 195 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: that I've ever done because it broke my family's heart. 196 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: And I still fully respect the religion and all of 197 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: the things that it taught me, but It just absolutely 198 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: was not the direction that I was going to be 199 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: going for my adult life. And the reason that that 200 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: was so challenging is because I did not have any 201 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,319 Speaker 1: friends outside of the religion, none. And when you're leaving it, 202 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: you are no longer supposed to hang out with them 203 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: because you just start thinking differently. And so when I left, 204 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: it didn't just mean like leaving home at eighteen. It 205 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: was like leaving everything I had ever known in my 206 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: entire life. And the idea that I teach on so 207 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: much now it came from this is your environment is 208 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: stronger than your willpower. So no matter how much you 209 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 1: want to go and do something that you have not 210 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,079 Speaker 1: been exposed to in your environment, if it's not currently 211 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: in your environment, or there is not someone doing it 212 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: in your environment, or you're not listening to someone in 213 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 1: your environment, or people in your environment don't have those beliefs, 214 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: your environment will not allow it. Like it will absolutely 215 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: strangle out whatever it is that you're trying to do, 216 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: not in a bad way, just it can't be cultivated. 217 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: It's not the soil in which it can be cultivated. 218 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: So I learned that because you have to go and 219 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 1: start at least listening on podcasts, at least reading books, 220 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: at least consuming these things where you're because that's your 221 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: environment too. I believe your environment is people. You know, 222 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: when you think of environment, you may think of your 223 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: home or outside or whatever that is. But your environment, yeah, 224 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: it can be your home and the energy in it, 225 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: and maybe there's clutter and things in there or whatever 226 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: it is, but a lot of it is people. And 227 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 1: what you're consuming is really the environment. Right Like around 228 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: says you're the some of the five people that you're 229 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: around the most. Fully believe that, and I also believe 230 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: it's you're the some of the things you're consuming, like 231 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: listening to reading, all of the things. So I start like, 232 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: once I understood this, I started to say, Okay, people, 233 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: people talk about transformation all the time, and I know 234 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: that we're probably going to talk about some of the 235 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,679 Speaker 1: different just you know, the fitness journey and things like that. 236 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: But I really started to understand that when I wanted 237 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: to go on a like when I wanted to become 238 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: that fitness person because my whole family was overweight and 239 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: I struggled with weight. I had gone on a diet 240 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: for the first time at eight years old, been on 241 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: hundreds of diets, but I could not get to that 242 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 1: place without leaving the current environment that was causing you know, 243 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: me to not be able to reach those goals. 244 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 3: So tangents so interesting to hear about you similar to 245 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 3: me going through all of these different phases in your 246 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,079 Speaker 3: life where you were dieting and yo yo dieting and 247 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 3: your weight was up probably, and it was down probably, 248 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 3: and then it was back up probably, So that diet 249 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 3: culture then encouraging you almost to be like, but I 250 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 3: really want to get involved in fitness. Were you at 251 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 3: a point ever in that journey where you felt like 252 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 3: you were super fit or No, not before you left home. 253 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: Not really before I left home, there was There was 254 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: kind of one year, and it was the year that 255 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: I wasn't home much. It was the year that I 256 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 1: had gone a lot and stayed with a girlfriend whose 257 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: family was very It was actually the family that helped 258 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: me understand that there were choices that I could be 259 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: making that were outside of my current choices, and that 260 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: people they showed me that there could be a healthy 261 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: relationship with food. Like I remember the first time I 262 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,680 Speaker 1: went to her house. It was fourteen and I stayed 263 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: for a week, and I went home and I had 264 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 1: lost five pounds, and I was like, I couldn't lose 265 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 1: five pounds if it took me the year when I 266 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: was at home, you know, and how to I go 267 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: and have fun and like enjoy myself and like eat 268 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: great food. But I like lost this weight. We only 269 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 1: ate like at meal time. They did not snack, and 270 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:17,079 Speaker 1: we were so wildly busy, like outside and playing outside 271 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: and like talking and just like it. I literally I 272 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: wrote about this in my book because I had said 273 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: to her it was like one night in and I 274 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 1: was programmed to snack, right, like program to snack at night. 275 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: That is what we did. So it was like, I 276 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: don't know, seven pm. And I was like, hey, like 277 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: where's your where's your snack cabinet, Like let's have some 278 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: snacks or whatever. And she was like, what do you mean, 279 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: Like we don't really like what, we don't really snack, 280 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: like we eat dinner and we don't really snack at night. 281 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: It's like what She's like, there's apples, though, I was 282 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: like apples, Like you know, if you're a snacker, like 283 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: you eat bags of twizzlers and ice cream and like 284 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: you do this, you do like three different snacks and 285 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: one night I just I don't mean a snack, I 286 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: mean like full on you know, you're making hot fudge Sundays, 287 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: like massive bowls of whatever. And I looked at me, 288 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: I was like an apple, Like that is disgusting, Like 289 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: I was, I was disgusted. But that was that first 290 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: moment that was like a breakthrough moment for me of 291 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: that whole week was just like, oh my god, I'm 292 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: watching these people not even care about food, and my 293 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: brain was just like, where's the food? Where's the snacks? 294 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: Are we? Okay, we're going on you know this this 295 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: day hike. What snacks are we bringing? Where's the trail mix? 296 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: Like are we gonna die? Like Oh, it's all of 297 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: these all of these things and these attachments to like 298 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: if we're doing this, we need this snack. If we're 299 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: doing this, we need this snack. And we're bonding over this. 300 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: And oh we're all playing cards at the table. Why 301 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 1: aren't there like a bunch of chips and you know, 302 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: all these things on the table. Like I was, I 303 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: was watching my brain kind of be like what and 304 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: also noticing that I was just consumed with other things, 305 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: Like it was just interesting to me. 306 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 3: A lot of autopilot, and that like associating diferend snacks 307 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 3: with different behaviors and not even thinking twice about opening 308 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 3: the fridge to get the thing that you usually eat 309 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 3: when you're doing this thing. 310 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 2: And hard to break out of those habits for sure. 311 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 3: So for you, as you mentioned you leave home, you're 312 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 3: super interested in getting into fitness. Talk me through that 313 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 3: and where that comes from. 314 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: You know, I had seen there were like fitness Americas, 315 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: I believe they were on TV or they were these 316 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: fitness competitions where they would like jump around. It was 317 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: the exercise like fitness competitions where they would dance and 318 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: jump and do all the things. And I always loved, 319 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: you know, dancing. I'd always like been obsessed with gymnastics, 320 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: but I was never allowed to be in them because 321 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: they were either on meeting nights or like our church nights, 322 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: or they also were with people who were outside of 323 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: the religion. So I was infatuated with anything like that, 324 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: moving your body, things like that. So as soon as 325 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: I could, as soon as I left, I started to 326 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: get really interested in that, like could I maybe do that? 327 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: Like because I didn't go to college, I didn't you know, 328 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: I can't go back and relive my childhood and join 329 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 1: like you know, jazz or jazz class and all of 330 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 1: these things different things. So I was like, Okay, what 331 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: can I do as an adult that could incorporate maybe 332 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: allowing me to live that dream that I wanted of 333 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: like either dancing or some sort of fitness. And I'd 334 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: watched it on TV, like I said, and these women 335 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: just seemed so confident. I think to me, it seemed 336 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 1: like they were so powerful and so confident and so happy, 337 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: and I wanted to embody those feelings. Like those were 338 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 1: the feelings that I got watching them, like very powerful 339 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 1: and just like wow, like you can you know when 340 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: you're watching something so powerful, Like I just watched Rocketman 341 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: again last night and it was I was like levitating 342 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: in my chair because the music and just the performance, 343 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: and I'm very very drawn to that. So for me, 344 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, seems like fitness could be this 345 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: thing that I could do and I could also like 346 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: create a life around it so that I would stay 347 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: fit because I was so afraid of not being fit. 348 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,959 Speaker 1: I had been told my whole life like you're going 349 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: to gain weight, You're gonna I literally had so many 350 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: people say these words to me, Oh, you're gonna be 351 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: fat like the rest of us. Like that's literally ringing 352 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: in my ears from my childhood because that's what my 353 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: family would always say. They'd say we had their last 354 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: name was Baker, and they're like, it's the Baker a way, 355 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: We're just fat. And so I thought that I wasn't 356 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: going to be able to escape it, Like I truly believe, like, 357 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 1: oh maybe it's just going to creep up, and if 358 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,959 Speaker 1: I create this life, like I'll be able to outrun it. 359 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: And you know, I think through the years I learned 360 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 1: enough that just science and habits and all the things, 361 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: but that was something I had to like really reset 362 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,399 Speaker 1: because that was a huge driver in the very beginning 363 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: for me to create a life of fitness. And then 364 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,200 Speaker 1: also I know what fitness did for me. It made 365 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: me feel like I just more kind of in control 366 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: of my life. I felt happier, I had more emotional stability. 367 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: I really struggled with a lot of anxiety before I 368 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,919 Speaker 1: started working out because I was eating really bad and 369 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: I just depression, anxiety, all of the things. So moving 370 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 1: my body became such a powerful tool. And I always 371 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 1: talk about how moving my body was like pretty much 372 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: the first spiritual breakthroughs I've ever had. You meet yourself, like, 373 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 1: go on a really long walk and don't come home 374 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 1: until something happens, Like it will happen for you, something 375 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: will shift, You'll hear a little voice that's like, maybe 376 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 1: I want to do something else with my life, or 377 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 1: maybe I came here to do this, And that's why fitness. 378 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: I just felt like it was the first time that 379 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 1: I felt like me and I wanted to build I 380 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: wanted to build a life around that, and I wanted 381 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: to give it to other people because it was such 382 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 1: a gift. And I watched how my family didn't have it, 383 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: and they really really struggled, and a lot of them 384 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: still really really do. 385 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 3: And I love how the example that you used was 386 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 3: go for a really long walk, right, Like, you don't 387 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 3: need to go out and lift a two hundred pound 388 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 3: barbell or run a marathon to meet yourself where you're 389 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 3: at instead and just start moving. There's so much power 390 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 3: in that, rather than comparing your journey to that of 391 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 3: someone else that you might see on the highlight reel 392 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 3: of social media. And now for you, I mean, you 393 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 3: didn't just start working out either, like you took it 394 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 3: a step beyond that. So talk to me about how 395 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 3: you got involved with both competing and then how you 396 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 3: began your own career, building your own gym. 397 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,120 Speaker 1: That kind of stuff, you know. And I just want 398 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: to say one more thing to walking. Walking is still 399 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: to this day my greatest gift ever, Like it's my 400 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: favorite thing that I do. I connect with my husband 401 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: in that way, like I just feel like it's a 402 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,479 Speaker 1: moving meditation and it's super powerful. Even if even if 403 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 1: the only work out you did the rest of your 404 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 1: life was walk, you'd probably be more than more than wonderful. 405 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 2: So more than wonderful, well then wonderful. 406 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: So the transition from just like going full into Finnish 407 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: competitions with so many things. I mean, Emily, I like 408 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: I didn't finish anything in my life, like nobody in 409 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 1: my family finished anything. I literally had the mantra in 410 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 1: my head like I never finish anything. I had started 411 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: different things I'd signed up for, you know, different courses 412 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: I don't finish. I didn't finish anything. So for me, 413 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: I think just doing a fitness competition number one was 414 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,879 Speaker 1: wanting to just complete something improve to myself. That I 415 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: could like do something scary because I was homeschooled through 416 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: high school and I didn't I didn't finish high school. 417 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: I didn't graduate high school, so I hadn't finished that. 418 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,679 Speaker 1: So I already felt like a total loser. I just 419 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 1: felt like I was never going to end up amounting 420 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 1: to anything, and so I was like, I have to 421 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 1: just finish something, improve something to myself. And I had 422 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: massive anxiety and panic attacks, so I was starting to 423 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,200 Speaker 1: feel like I was a total hermit. I was starting 424 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 1: to drink like a lot more alcohol just to feel 425 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: like a normal person. I would have to have like 426 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 1: three or four drinks before I'd even go out and 427 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: see friends, like because I was so anxious, Like just 428 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: interact was starting to make me anxious because I think 429 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 1: I lived such a sheltered life. So with that said, 430 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,160 Speaker 1: when I first put a fitness competition on the calendar, 431 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 1: it was simply to like say, I can't live this 432 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 1: way anymore. I can't allow myself to like be overtaken 433 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,119 Speaker 1: by fear. If I don't start doing scary things, like 434 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 1: I will be swallowed whole by my fear and anxiety. 435 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 3: That's so interesting because out of all the things that 436 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 3: you could have chosen to like put on the calendar. 437 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 3: You could have chose to like do a five K 438 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 3: where you're not half naked in front of a lot 439 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 3: of people, but you're not. You're like, you know what, Nah, 440 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 3: we're gonna take this to the extreme extreme year. 441 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: I just felt like, you know, when you just I 442 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 1: just felt like if I didn't do that, I was like, Okay, 443 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 1: if you're going to do something big dude. Anyway, And 444 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: I had never run a day in my life, so 445 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: I don't think I even thought of that. I didn't 446 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: even think I could run, do you know what I mean? Yeah, 447 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 1: So for me, I was like, Okay, I feel like 448 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: I can cause I had already worked out. So I 449 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: was like at that point, I had a lot of 450 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,399 Speaker 1: I knew how to work out, like I understood working out. 451 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: I read every single magazine there possibly could be to read. 452 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: So I think to me, it felt like the only 453 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: thing that I was good at, or like somewhat good at, 454 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 1: and that's why I went with that route. 455 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,640 Speaker 3: Were you getting certifications at this time or just really 456 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 3: into working out? 457 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: Ummm no, I'm trying to think. When I got I 458 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 1: think simultaneous. So I started competing at twenty seven and yeah, 459 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,120 Speaker 1: I was getting certified at twenty six. 460 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, so wait just for a second, let's dial in, 461 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 3: because what happened between eighteen when you left and twenty 462 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 3: seven when you started to really get into this stuff. 463 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 1: I was still really working out, but I was working 464 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: random jobs. Like I really, when I tell you, I 465 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: believed I would not amount to anything, like I lived 466 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,360 Speaker 1: and like I lived that, like I I fully took 467 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 1: on that identity of like, wow, I'm never going to 468 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: be able to do anything, Like I got married to 469 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: the most amazing man and still married to him this 470 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 1: many years later, and he just called me out on 471 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: all of my shit. So that was fantastic. And him 472 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: and I went through a really tough spot together, like 473 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,439 Speaker 1: we actually lost our house, our cars, all the things, 474 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: like three hundred thousand dollars in debt. And that was 475 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: the thing that woke me up to be like, you 476 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,199 Speaker 1: got to get your shit together and you have to 477 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: do something. And that's when I started, you know, I'm like, Okay, 478 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a fitness competition. Okay, I'm gonna start 479 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 1: training people. I have to make money somehow. That's when 480 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: I got more into business. But yeah, there wasn't a 481 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: whole lot going on. There was a lot of like 482 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,880 Speaker 1: random jobs I did. I worked at a coffee shop 483 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: when I was like twenty year drive through coffee shop. 484 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: I did retail jobs. I did makeup, I went I 485 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: worked with my dad for a while, so I knew 486 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,119 Speaker 1: how to do like installation of kitchens and bathrooms and 487 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: countertops and all of those things. I've done a lot 488 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 1: of different things. But it wasn't until later that I 489 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: was like my soul would not leave me alone. Like 490 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 1: I was the girl who like I couldn't sleep, I 491 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: had insomnia because my soul was just like, look, we're 492 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 1: gonna keep hitting you in the face with two by 493 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 1: fours until you wake up's And that's what happened. I 494 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: had a lot of those moments. 495 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 3: Was there like a specific rock a moment that you 496 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 3: were like, we really need to turn this all around 497 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,399 Speaker 3: or was it just that as you're saying, like the 498 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,920 Speaker 3: culmination of all the two by fours in the face. 499 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: Oh man, I mean there's a whole portion of my 500 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 1: life that I'm not sharing that. It's just like from 501 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 1: eighteen into about twenty one where I just like drink 502 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 1: I was drinking and you know, doing drugs and like 503 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: in with uh horrible roommates. I went to Mexico, I 504 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: got kidnapped for an entire night and beaten, and like, 505 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: there were so many different things that like started to 506 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: wake me up and I knew, but I still could 507 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: not get myself to like do the big things. So 508 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,399 Speaker 1: I was that person who like people like, do you 509 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,920 Speaker 1: have one moment, I'm like, I had thousands, And I'm 510 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: so grateful that whatever you believe, like that God did 511 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: not give up on me, like on the nudges, like 512 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,640 Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that I eventually finally listened because 513 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,199 Speaker 1: I just had so so many, so many moments that like, 514 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: don't give up on yourself, even if you've had a 515 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,280 Speaker 1: million nudges. And you're like, well, that should have woken 516 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: me up. Well that should have woken me up. There 517 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: are parts of you that are waking up or changing. 518 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 1: It's just you know, it's we're all in a timeline 519 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,439 Speaker 1: that we don't understand why. And now looking back, I 520 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: can completely see that I was on the perfect timeline 521 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,879 Speaker 1: for me. And it's just and you never know that 522 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 1: once you get to a spot like it can it 523 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 1: can accelerate so incredibly fast that I just say, don't 524 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: don't judge the timeline because there's things happening. I always 525 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,640 Speaker 1: feel like it's a winter, you know, there's so much 526 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: happening underneath that layer of snow that you see. That's 527 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: just like getting you ready for something amazing. So yeah, 528 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: I try not to judge it anymore. 529 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 3: So when you first sign up for this fitness competition 530 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 3: and you get over the hurdle of the signing up, 531 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 3: then how does the training go? And talk to me 532 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 3: about that mental journey, because that's a whole other thing. 533 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I mean, oh my god. Literally just 534 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,399 Speaker 1: went back to the I mean, I did fitness competitions 535 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: for like six years, so it's start to become like more. 536 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: I started to understand it more and just even just 537 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: learning about, you know, the science of it and working 538 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 1: with different people and that really helped me. But in 539 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: the beginning, it was just like it was terrible. I 540 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,639 Speaker 1: didn't know anything I was doing. I was listening to 541 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: different people who maybe I shouldn't be listening to. I 542 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: was just like following protocol and wondering why I was 543 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: suffering so much or my body wasn't changing in the 544 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: way that I wanted. So many different things happened within, 545 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: you know, the first year that I had started competing, 546 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 1: because you're you're essentially like just trying things. You're just 547 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 1: you're you're trying these protocols that people are putting you 548 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: on to work out this many days and eat this 549 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: to see what potentially you could look like on show day, 550 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,440 Speaker 1: you know, whether it's sixty or one hundred and twenty 551 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: days from the time that you maybe start your protocol 552 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: or whatever it is. But I will tell you one 553 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 1: of the best things I did, though, is sign up 554 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: with a team of people who were known for doing 555 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: like all natural competing and like trying to make sure 556 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: that women do it a lot healthier. And that was 557 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 1: probably the best thing I did, because even when I 558 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: thought of going like super crazy extreme, they were just 559 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: like great reminders that it doesn't work, it's not sustainable, 560 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,959 Speaker 1: and you're probably going to pay for it later. And 561 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 1: even though I do feel like I took it to 562 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 1: an extreme level at some points that it was kind 563 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: of nice to always have that bring me back to 564 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: the place of, like, Okay, what happens when you do 565 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,880 Speaker 1: this to your body? What happens to women when this happens, 566 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,320 Speaker 1: And I think just having that conversation be readily available 567 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 1: and accessible was really big for me. 568 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you 569 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: about my sponsors. First up, Baron Fig. Baron Fag has 570 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 3: been dedicated to a mission to champion thinkers around the 571 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 3: world through inspiration and imagination. They do this by creating 572 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 3: tools for thinkers. Now, I know what you are wondering. 573 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 3: What is a thinker? By definition? 574 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you asked. 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That's goodr dot com slash hurdle and 612 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 3: use the code hurdle one five at checkout for fifteen 613 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 3: percent off your order today. Again, that is Hurdle one 614 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 3: five at Gooder dot com slash hurdle. Use that code 615 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 3: to get fifteen percent off your purchase today. Did I 616 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 3: mention they are already obscenely affordable? Trust me, you won't 617 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 3: regret it. Talk to me about that internal dialogue that's 618 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 3: happening with you at this point, because I know you 619 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 3: spoke about having such a negative dialogue earlier on with 620 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,600 Speaker 3: all of the eating and I can't do this. And 621 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 3: now you're at the fitness competition stage of your life 622 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,120 Speaker 3: and you're highly restricting your diet as well, So I 623 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 3: can imagine that this could become a little toxic. 624 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it did for a little while, because what 625 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 1: happens is you see the results. What happens is you 626 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: find a plan that quote unquote works, but what it 627 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,959 Speaker 1: works for is show time. It doesn't work for a lifetime. 628 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: So you know, all of a sudden, for the first 629 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,479 Speaker 1: time in my life, I might add, I'm getting attention. 630 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: I have never gotten attention in my entire life, especially 631 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: for how I looked. So what does that do. It's 632 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 1: like immediate, like, oh, when I do this, I get love, right, 633 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: And then that you are addicted, you are now essentially 634 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: on crack, and that crack is called staying lean to 635 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: get love and staying lean for recognition. So for me, 636 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't think you realize how much it 637 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: affects you until all of a sudden you're not in 638 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: that shape anymore, and you're like, oh my god, it's 639 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: like you're jonesing for your next hit, and you're like, 640 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: it's the same with accomplishments, which I could talk about 641 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: for ever as well, And it's not until that that 642 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: even that recognition of that. And also I think realizing 643 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 1: like the things that we think are making us happy 644 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: can often be the things that are keeping us in prison. 645 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: And the things that we think have to be a 646 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: certain way in order to make us happy oftentimes can 647 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: be done in a completely different, more maintainable, more sustainable 648 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 1: way where you can also be happy. But what happens 649 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: is you have to let go of the belief that 650 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 1: that's the only way you can do it. And the 651 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: only way I let go of this belief was like there, 652 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: I definitely like straight away from it a bit to 653 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: the to a place where I felt like I was 654 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: a lot healthier, But I didn't understand that I was 655 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 1: still so ingrained in the routine, like to the point 656 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: where it was like, you know, affecting, like where where 657 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 1: do I want to go? Where do I want to 658 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 1: travel to? Oh, I can't go to Europe because I'm 659 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 1: not going to have control over the food there. I 660 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: know what it's like there, And I still went. But 661 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 1: I had these beliefs that were stopping me from life. 662 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not gonna sleep well, that it's gonna 663 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: throw me off, and I'm gonna start eating X, Y 664 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: and Z, and I'm not gonna have access to gyms 665 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: for a month, so I can't go travel across eas 666 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: for that long. Anyway, I ended up going overseas for 667 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:16,880 Speaker 1: an entire month, had zero access to one gym. I was, 668 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: you know, staying up until two am because the people 669 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 1: I traveled with, like we booked dinner reservations at ten 670 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,760 Speaker 1: pm every night, because in Spain you just eat super 671 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 1: late and you sleep late. And it's it's glorious and 672 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 1: horrible for a fitness person, like you're like, this is amazing. 673 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 1: I hate it, and like I had to let go 674 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 1: because we were with a large group of people and 675 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,360 Speaker 1: it was like I wanted to have fun so bad, 676 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,680 Speaker 1: but I was like watching myself be like miserable. You 677 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I'm sure you've been there before. 678 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,799 Speaker 1: And it was like ten days in where I just 679 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, God, I'm letting go, 680 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 1: like I'm fully surrendering because this is not working, Like 681 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 1: I'm not having any fun, I can't get access to 682 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,439 Speaker 1: what I want. I don't like I'm not feeling good 683 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,279 Speaker 1: because mostly I'm just like beating myself up. And then 684 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,840 Speaker 1: I was like, we're just gonna go with the flow. 685 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:13,920 Speaker 1: I ended up staying up late, drinking, eating, walking fifteen 686 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,440 Speaker 1: miles a day for real, because that's what you do 687 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,520 Speaker 1: in Europe. And I came home nothing changed, Like I 688 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: didn't gain any weight, I felt incredible, felt like I 689 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: looked better, and it was just a moment of like, Wow, 690 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:31,399 Speaker 1: we totally imprison ourselves with our rituals. So rituals and 691 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:36,719 Speaker 1: discipline are some of the most beautiful, amazing grounding, like 692 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,760 Speaker 1: we'll just let you soar in life. I think their freedom, 693 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 1: but they can also be your prison if you don't 694 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: recognize the fine line between when it's helping you and 695 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 1: when it's actually stopping you from living. And I don't 696 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,360 Speaker 1: know how to tell people to get to that place. 697 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell besides booking a month 698 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,279 Speaker 1: long trip with people who make you do things you 699 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 1: don't want to do, I don't know. Well. 700 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:04,760 Speaker 3: I mentioned also the parallel between that situation and accomplishments. 701 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 2: So let's let's talk about that for just a second here. 702 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 3: I mean, obviously you're hinting at that if we're always 703 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 3: striving for the next big accomplishment, then we're going to 704 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 3: lose purpose or perhaps like some enjoyment in that journey. 705 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,600 Speaker 1: Right, Look, this is such a great question because I 706 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 1: know I feel like even just talking to you, like 707 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: I know that you are probably a very driven person 708 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 1: who likes reaching accomplishments and doing things and having new experiences, 709 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 1: and I I think that is so important. Like I 710 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 1: I want to do and see and try and be 711 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 1: everything that I possibly can, like till the wheels fall off, 712 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,360 Speaker 1: Like I just I will be ninety like, what's the 713 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 1: next accomplishment that I want to do? And I also 714 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 1: want to back it up and just say like, are 715 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 1: you enjoying the journey? And if you are not, you know, 716 00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: and you have to consciously choose to enjoy it, because 717 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: I will tell you I'm doing the dreamiest thing of 718 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: my life right now, and it's the scariest thing of 719 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:08,280 Speaker 1: my life as well. And also, every day I could 720 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 1: be like this is hard, this sucks, oh my god, 721 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,800 Speaker 1: this went wrong, and instead it's like, oh my gosh, 722 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 1: this is new. I get to do new things every day. Okay, 723 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 1: this is so cool. Okay, I just got rejected in 724 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:25,320 Speaker 1: a new way. That's interesting. What can I learn from this? Okay? Awesome, 725 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 1: you know, And just enjoying the fact that I've come 726 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: to realize that we can either do a lot of 727 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: the same and feel safe and miserable, or we can 728 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: do different things every day and be extremely challenged. But 729 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 1: at least it's a different emotion that we can appreciate 730 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,240 Speaker 1: more that expands us and actually offers us some reward. 731 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,360 Speaker 1: Maybe not in that day, but you'll end up feeling 732 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 1: like this beautiful sense of expansion and like you'll see 733 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 1: life from an even more beautiful, like rich standpoint, Like 734 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: it's the most beautiful thing to expand when you can 735 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 1: appreciate the hard stuff. But back to you know, if 736 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: you're just trying to get to that accomplishment that lasts 737 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 1: a day, like when you when you reach your finish lines, 738 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: like when you're doing your races, you're like, wow, okay, 739 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,760 Speaker 1: it's over now, and now is like brunch Okay, great, 740 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,080 Speaker 1: Like enjoy the brunch and enjoy all the things. But 741 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,920 Speaker 1: like it was not it was the training. It was 742 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 1: all the downloads you got during all those long runs. 743 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,239 Speaker 1: It was like when you pushed through that extra long 744 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 1: run and you did it, and you're like, I'm so 745 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,000 Speaker 1: proud of myself, and here's what I learned. It's all 746 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 1: of that like info and data and everything that you 747 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,839 Speaker 1: get on the journey, and you have to you have 748 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,359 Speaker 1: to consciously make it a practice every morning and every 749 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 1: day and be grateful for things that you're like, why 750 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,240 Speaker 1: would I be grateful for that? Like consciously getting grateful 751 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,279 Speaker 1: for all of these new things that are coming into 752 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,360 Speaker 1: your realm, even if they're super challenging. Because I just 753 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 1: my husband and I talk about this all the time. 754 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,759 Speaker 1: I just don't I think there's a middle. I don't 755 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,640 Speaker 1: think there's like a you know, I'm gonna sit back 756 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: and I'm going to go to Italy and enjoy my life, 757 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 1: or I'm gonna stay home and feel safe and this 758 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 1: is going to be great and I'm going to be 759 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 1: so present and just make sure I enjoy every second. 760 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 1: Like I've done that, Like I've tried. I took like 761 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 1: a year where I was like, I'm gonna like do 762 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,759 Speaker 1: less and it was really awesome. And I'm an idea 763 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,560 Speaker 1: If you are an idea machine and you love to create, 764 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 1: it's like I wasn't super happy not creating. It's like 765 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,080 Speaker 1: this is awesome, and I feel very relaxed, and now 766 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 1: I want to go make something, or now I want 767 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 1: to go connect with that person and create something or 768 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,799 Speaker 1: do something bigger. And so I think you also just 769 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,879 Speaker 1: have to know what type of person you are. But yeah, 770 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,640 Speaker 1: I don't think that there's there's definitely an addiction to accomplishment, 771 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: but there's also just like it's a practice to remind 772 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: yourself to be grateful for the journey. 773 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 3: Definitely, so for you, you become briefly addicted to the 774 00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:01,759 Speaker 3: accomplishment of thriving and fitness competitions and then when do 775 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,919 Speaker 3: you decide, all right, it's time for me to get 776 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:05,720 Speaker 3: off the horse. 777 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,319 Speaker 1: Yeah. I So I competed for six years, and I 778 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,319 Speaker 1: think out of three and a half of those, I 779 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 1: hadn't won anything, but my goal was always to place. 780 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 1: And then at like year three and a half, this 781 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:23,280 Speaker 1: is really interesting, I started doing some personal development work 782 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 1: and things just shifted for me. And I remember I 783 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:29,160 Speaker 1: was going in to compete at the two biggest competitions 784 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 1: of the year. It was Fitness America and Fitness Universe, 785 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: and they kind of like they're kind of like four 786 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,840 Speaker 1: months like in between each other, and I just felt different. 787 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 1: I had started teaching people stage presence and like coaching them, 788 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,760 Speaker 1: and I started really like creating a community. I started 789 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,399 Speaker 1: really like giving back and stepping into my calling. And 790 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 1: I have to share this story quick right before, because 791 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 1: I do think there's a massive pivot of what happened. 792 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 1: And I had always wanted to be an Oxygen magazine 793 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 1: cover model, Like if you get it's kind of like 794 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:00,680 Speaker 1: that was kind of the thing you wanted to do 795 00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,040 Speaker 1: if you were in fitness anywhere from six to ten 796 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,280 Speaker 1: to twenty years ago, and so I had Oxygen magazine 797 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 1: covers up. And the reason I wanted to do that 798 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,759 Speaker 1: was because they inspired me. I would carry those things 799 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,640 Speaker 1: till they were like ragged in my gym bag. I 800 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,239 Speaker 1: would know everything about the girl on the cover. I 801 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 1: would like, you know, try all of her stuff. I 802 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,399 Speaker 1: just like they inspired me beyond anything that I can 803 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 1: tell you. And so I had this as my goal 804 00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,440 Speaker 1: for this whole time competing and then before that, and 805 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,920 Speaker 1: they were always like You're not our girl, You're not 806 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,840 Speaker 1: our look whatever whatever it was, it just was not 807 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: for them. And I was consistent. And so one day 808 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,880 Speaker 1: when I got another no, like it was a very 809 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: firm like look like this is just you're just not it, like, 810 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 1: you are not our look, it's not it's not going 811 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 1: to be for you. And I was staring at the 812 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,000 Speaker 1: my vision board and I was in my room and 813 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: I threw myself in the bed. I started bawling and 814 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: I was like beating my like for real, I was 815 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,640 Speaker 1: a full on temper tantrum. I'm like beating my hands 816 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 1: on the bed and like you know that like kind 817 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,720 Speaker 1: of crying where you just are like waiting for someone 818 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 1: to come save you. And then you have the realization 819 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,799 Speaker 1: halfway through that you're just exhausted and no one's coming, 820 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,640 Speaker 1: and you're like, dang it, no one's listening. So you're 821 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:12,880 Speaker 1: like m And so I'm nearing the end of like 822 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: my session, my crazy tantrum session, and I was like 823 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,239 Speaker 1: why do I want this? Like a question pops into 824 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 1: my head and it was just like this moment of 825 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,319 Speaker 1: like why do I actually want this? And I was like, 826 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: because I want to help people. I really want a 827 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,880 Speaker 1: community because I love like teaching, Like I love getting 828 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,239 Speaker 1: in front of people and like teaching them and like 829 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 1: getting them to do things and empower them and get 830 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,719 Speaker 1: their body moving and like getting them to get out 831 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,960 Speaker 1: of their comfort zone. And I was like, why can't 832 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,440 Speaker 1: I do that without this? Like why can't I create 833 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,279 Speaker 1: this without it? And in that moment, I was like 834 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 1: I got to cut out the middleman. It's literally what 835 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: I thought. I was like, I don't need them, I'll 836 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: just go and create this in my community. And that's 837 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,200 Speaker 1: what I did. I got like a studio space and 838 00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:02,319 Speaker 1: started creating this community. And sometimes one person would show 839 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 1: up on the weekends for these boot camps and these 840 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 1: like you know, different posing sessions, or I was doing clinics, 841 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: I was doing empowerment sessions, you name it. I was 842 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 1: naming it a different name and just trying all these 843 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,839 Speaker 1: different things. Sometimes one person would show up, sometimes eight, 844 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: sometimes fifty. So it just started to grow. And from 845 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:23,120 Speaker 1: there I just had this realization also that the magazine 846 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,480 Speaker 1: is a business and they want somebody who can help 847 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,320 Speaker 1: them sell their magazine as well. So I had started 848 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 1: this community then that summer or that summer, I was 849 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,640 Speaker 1: going into it with kind of this community background, this 850 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,320 Speaker 1: idea that like, oh yeah, this is like this is 851 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,759 Speaker 1: a fitness is a business. They're not just looking for 852 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,400 Speaker 1: the next best, most beautiful girl with the best body 853 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 1: at all, Like they need to make money too. Like 854 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 1: everything kind of clicked. So I ended up going and 855 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,640 Speaker 1: competing at Fitness America and Fitness Universe and placing first 856 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,719 Speaker 1: in both of those, winning the whole competition. And that 857 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,480 Speaker 1: was like three and a half years to finally have 858 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,839 Speaker 1: it click and then I so that was freaking am 859 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,719 Speaker 1: But then the next year I was like, Okay, I 860 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,120 Speaker 1: didn't feel done with fitness yet because my dream had 861 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: always been to do the exercise routine portion well, I didn't. 862 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,359 Speaker 1: I had never like danced, I was not in gymnastics. 863 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,520 Speaker 1: So I got a coach to help me do a 864 00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,920 Speaker 1: fitness routine and so for the first time ever, like 865 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,240 Speaker 1: with no dance background, no gymnastic background, I did fitness 866 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,920 Speaker 1: routines for those two competitions. And then when I had 867 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 1: accomplished that dream and just doing it, that's when the 868 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,000 Speaker 1: second time I stepped off the stage, because I had 869 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,560 Speaker 1: done it twice, like I felt like I got like 870 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 1: a good flavor of this. I stepped off stage and 871 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,040 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm done. 872 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 2: That's it. 873 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was it. And it's interesting because every part 874 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,839 Speaker 1: of me wanted to go back a few times because 875 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,520 Speaker 1: I was good at it, meaning just fitness in general. 876 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,200 Speaker 1: Because I knew that a new chapter was coming, it 877 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 1: was scaring the crap. But I mean I didn't know 878 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: what it was. I didn't know who I was without fitness, 879 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,839 Speaker 1: like I did not know, and so that was a 880 00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,439 Speaker 1: really scary pivot as well. But that was the moment 881 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,359 Speaker 1: where it was like I know that if I go back, though, 882 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,400 Speaker 1: I'm going back to something that like the the energy 883 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,720 Speaker 1: was gone. I say this a lot about different things, 884 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:12,719 Speaker 1: like that particular chapter in my contract was over, and 885 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 1: I know that if I oversay it will start to 886 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,800 Speaker 1: be toxic for me and I'll start to either resent 887 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: the people in it, I'll start to show up differently. 888 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 1: Whatever it is, I knew it in my gut, like, 889 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,000 Speaker 1: you can't go back to this no matter how much 890 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,000 Speaker 1: your ego wants to, because you could get attention for 891 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,200 Speaker 1: it again, or you could get that hit again, or 892 00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,799 Speaker 1: you know whatever it is. Like some people thought I 893 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,080 Speaker 1: was literally crazy, and I was like, I just it 894 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 1: was done, though, And I think when we know that 895 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,319 Speaker 1: if we don't leave, it does like it's like keeping 896 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:42,279 Speaker 1: an onion too long. It's gonna go real bad and 897 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,360 Speaker 1: you're gonna be sorry. 898 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:46,120 Speaker 2: For it, gonna be sorry for it. 899 00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:49,040 Speaker 3: So all this to say that when you pivot out 900 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 3: of fitness, you feel it in your gut that you 901 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,880 Speaker 3: have this other calling at the time. Do you know 902 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 3: that it's that you want to help people work on 903 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,920 Speaker 3: their own self, love that journey for them. 904 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,000 Speaker 2: Where where are you at with that? 905 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,600 Speaker 1: Yeah? I had started doing personal development, so going to 906 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 1: like uh, I started getting trained by Jack Canfield. So 907 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,239 Speaker 1: I went to a three week program with him. Like 908 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,600 Speaker 1: I was starting to get called to like doing these 909 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,320 Speaker 1: different workshops I was telling you about. I was liking 910 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,560 Speaker 1: the fitness part, but I was really loving watching the 911 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 1: breakthroughs and I would just try like maybe these little 912 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,960 Speaker 1: exercises or writing exercises with them, you know, journal prompts 913 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,280 Speaker 1: and things like that that I had been learning through 914 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:31,680 Speaker 1: books and through like you know, youtubes or videos or whatever, 915 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,880 Speaker 1: and so I would just practice it and that became 916 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,399 Speaker 1: something that I was like, oh my god, I love this, 917 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,840 Speaker 1: Like I wanted to do that way more than I 918 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,320 Speaker 1: wanted to run a boot camp. So I went and 919 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,440 Speaker 1: signed up with something called Train the Trainer that Jack 920 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,319 Speaker 1: Canfield was putting on. It came in an email and 921 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,279 Speaker 1: I was like, what is this? Like, you know, it's 922 00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:50,359 Speaker 1: like when you're when you're seeking something like that's when 923 00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:53,400 Speaker 1: your teacher will come like it truly, like that's when 924 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:55,080 Speaker 1: it just showed up in my email. And it was like, Okay, 925 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:56,920 Speaker 1: if you want to be a trainer, you know, personal development, 926 00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,800 Speaker 1: you're going to learn how to run events, do meditation, 927 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,600 Speaker 1: like all of these different things. So I went for 928 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 1: three weeks to the most intense like training ever, which 929 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,800 Speaker 1: was incredible. But that's when I really started to transition 930 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,759 Speaker 1: into personal development and knew that I wanted to put 931 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,640 Speaker 1: on events is because I was going to all these 932 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,240 Speaker 1: different events as doing Tony Robbins. I went to Landmark, 933 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,960 Speaker 1: I went to all these different spiritual retreats, and I 934 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 1: just couldn't deny like I was a different person, Like 935 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,200 Speaker 1: I couldn't even it was hard for me to identify 936 00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,839 Speaker 1: with the old me because I just felt like it 937 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,799 Speaker 1: was so unbelievable how in these different weekends you could 938 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,320 Speaker 1: decide to be different. And that just blew my mind, 939 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: like you really, we really have a choice. And so 940 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,360 Speaker 1: I also knew with my background, I was like, just 941 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,520 Speaker 1: with where I come from and like what I've believed, 942 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:46,799 Speaker 1: I'm like, I it's not like I'm just like, oh, 943 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,160 Speaker 1: I you know, my life wasn't bad. And I figured 944 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 1: out not that my life was bad, it was just 945 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,680 Speaker 1: so different. It was so different and my beliefs were 946 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,120 Speaker 1: so different. So I wanted to show people that, like 947 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,120 Speaker 1: if I could come from this small town with these 948 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,600 Speaker 1: different religious belief so ingrained in me with not going 949 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:06,000 Speaker 1: to college, not finishing high school, like you can absolutely 950 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,200 Speaker 1: do this. It's just like who are we surrounding ourselves 951 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:09,640 Speaker 1: with and what are we believing. 952 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:13,760 Speaker 3: In that process of coming into this understanding, I'm sure 953 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,839 Speaker 3: you had to kind of do a pause and evaluate 954 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,320 Speaker 3: of who you had been surrounding yourself with and maybe 955 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,239 Speaker 3: even the way that you all spoke to each other, 956 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,239 Speaker 3: or perhaps like their opinions of you. 957 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,160 Speaker 2: I would imagine as you got. 958 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,920 Speaker 3: More into this work, the people that you had been 959 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 3: hanging out with may have had an opinion about it. 960 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,720 Speaker 1: I'm laughing, because yes, they had a lot of opinions 961 00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,360 Speaker 1: about how did you deal with that? I mean it 962 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,560 Speaker 1: was different points at different times, you know, it was 963 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,920 Speaker 1: different different people at different times. So I had already 964 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,640 Speaker 1: kind of dealt with one of the biggest ones, which 965 00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 1: was disappointing my family, which was the hardest one. So 966 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,880 Speaker 1: I think if getting that one under my belt was 967 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,759 Speaker 1: kind of like, Okay, I've been here before. Not that 968 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,000 Speaker 1: it was easy, but you know, when I was doing 969 00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:58,920 Speaker 1: I'm trying to think even when I was I was 970 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:04,160 Speaker 1: working at a hair salon actually doing front desk reception work, 971 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,719 Speaker 1: and I it was for a year, and it was 972 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,880 Speaker 1: the first year though when I started competing, So it 973 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,400 Speaker 1: was like kind of when I had to start bringing 974 00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,640 Speaker 1: like the tupperware containers to work, you know, and I 975 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,799 Speaker 1: had made friends with a bunch of girls, and it 976 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,640 Speaker 1: was like the first, you know, friends that I made 977 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,520 Speaker 1: in this area because we had just moved to Milwaukee 978 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:26,319 Speaker 1: area Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I started shifting. So when I 979 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,000 Speaker 1: first met them, we were going out. We were doing 980 00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:31,960 Speaker 1: like happy hours and going out on you know, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 981 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,600 Speaker 1: like hanging out with all these friends. I was like, Oh, 982 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,480 Speaker 1: this is amazing. I have all these friends, but I 983 00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,600 Speaker 1: don't feel great and this is not really aligning with 984 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,600 Speaker 1: my goals. And I end up, you know, saying, hey, 985 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,120 Speaker 1: I'm doing this fitness competition and you know, I'm not 986 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,200 Speaker 1: gonna go out with you guys as much and whatever 987 00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:48,600 Speaker 1: that looked like. And I remember they literally gave me 988 00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,800 Speaker 1: so much crap every day and it was like, oh, Nope, 989 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 1: she can't go out with us because she thinks she's 990 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,200 Speaker 1: better than us, or oh she wants to look this way, 991 00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,760 Speaker 1: but it's not gonna happen, like straight up the craziest 992 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,520 Speaker 1: things you could possibly. It wasn't everyone, but it definitely 993 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,160 Speaker 1: was like a bunch of It was like high school. 994 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,799 Speaker 1: I had this moment of like, oh my god, I 995 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:12,319 Speaker 1: literally have to just let this be okay, and I 996 00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 1: have to start, you know, focusing on how I can 997 00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,120 Speaker 1: spend more time with this other fitness group. And there 998 00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:19,960 Speaker 1: was Facebook groups that I accessed all the time. I 999 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,640 Speaker 1: would book phone calls with people from my fitness team. 1000 00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,759 Speaker 1: I would try to get together with people who were 1001 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,680 Speaker 1: in that community or people that I would just reach 1002 00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,560 Speaker 1: out to. And that's really when I started to learn 1003 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,960 Speaker 1: the power of let just like cold outreach of people 1004 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,839 Speaker 1: that you literally don't know. So Facebook just no, oh 1005 00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:40,080 Speaker 1: my god. MySpace was around at this time, and then 1006 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,560 Speaker 1: I think Facebook had just started, and I was just 1007 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,560 Speaker 1: looking for people in the area who had like competed 1008 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,520 Speaker 1: at these different shows. So I would message these different 1009 00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 1: girls and be like, would you ever want to work out? 1010 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,360 Speaker 1: Would you ever want to like, you know, whatever this 1011 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,000 Speaker 1: looks like. And that's when I started making friends and 1012 00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,440 Speaker 1: learning how to find friends who can support you specifically 1013 00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,080 Speaker 1: in these areas is and then when the personal development 1014 00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,080 Speaker 1: things came, and then when even just where I'm at 1015 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,400 Speaker 1: right now with I mean, I can think of everything 1016 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,000 Speaker 1: when I wanted to do events, when I wanted to 1017 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,799 Speaker 1: write a book, when I you know, wanted to start 1018 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:13,000 Speaker 1: a company, like I switched my network, and I didn't 1019 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,360 Speaker 1: say goodbye to the old network necessarily. It just depends 1020 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,840 Speaker 1: I switched the network to who I was spending the 1021 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,560 Speaker 1: most time with. I made them the people I spent 1022 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,600 Speaker 1: the most time with, if you know, the ones that 1023 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to like learn about in the industry that 1024 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:29,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to go into. 1025 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,319 Speaker 3: In this process of you coming completely into who you 1026 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,560 Speaker 3: are and gaining an appreciation for that and accepting that 1027 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,399 Speaker 3: and owning that, I mean, it's not easy, right, So 1028 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:48,840 Speaker 3: for someone who feels a little inhibited or reserved about 1029 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,359 Speaker 3: owning their full self, what advice. 1030 00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,000 Speaker 1: Do you have for them? You know, I always think 1031 00:51:55,040 --> 00:52:00,000 Speaker 1: about focus on a bigger problem. I know that sounds crazy, 1032 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 1: but it's just the truth. Like if you're focused on 1033 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:03,719 Speaker 1: what people are going to think of you, or if 1034 00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:07,200 Speaker 1: you're focused on, you know, judgment. I always just focus 1035 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,840 Speaker 1: on the end of my life and what's going to 1036 00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,600 Speaker 1: happen if I don't do this thing, and I focus 1037 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:15,040 Speaker 1: on how I'm going to feel. I do a lot 1038 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,040 Speaker 1: of visualizing and thinking about what is this going to 1039 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,160 Speaker 1: look like in one year and what is this going 1040 00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,160 Speaker 1: to look like in five years? If I don't do 1041 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,560 Speaker 1: these things? And I'll sit in that. I'll actually let 1042 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:29,160 Speaker 1: it get so real and I'll play that visualization all 1043 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,880 Speaker 1: the way down to the road of like how am 1044 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,200 Speaker 1: I going to feel around my husband? 1045 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:34,320 Speaker 3: Like? 1046 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,840 Speaker 1: Am I going to resent him? Am I going to 1047 00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,160 Speaker 1: start blaming him for things that I didn't do? How 1048 00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,680 Speaker 1: am I going to feel around my family? How is 1049 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,520 Speaker 1: this going to show up in my friends? How is 1050 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,000 Speaker 1: this going to show up? Like just with how I 1051 00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,960 Speaker 1: am am treating people? And that's the bigger problem. The 1052 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,799 Speaker 1: bigger problem is if you don't do it and you're 1053 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,480 Speaker 1: just not focusing on that enough because you're you're honing 1054 00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 1: in on the judgment or the worry of you know, 1055 00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,400 Speaker 1: what is your mom going to say for that hour 1056 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,920 Speaker 1: or whatever it is. It's like, okay, well, what if 1057 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,799 Speaker 1: you break it to your loved ones or or say 1058 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,880 Speaker 1: the things that you need or tell them the boundary 1059 00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,040 Speaker 1: and then you start the conversation that moves in a 1060 00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,760 Speaker 1: more positive direction. I'll tell you it is not fun. 1061 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,160 Speaker 1: It's not fun to have those conversations. In fact, it's 1062 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:20,400 Speaker 1: the worst thing ever, Like it's but here's how the 1063 00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:23,560 Speaker 1: experience goes. It's like a tidal wave, like but it's 1064 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,280 Speaker 1: just like one, every conversation is a title wave. It's coming. 1065 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,359 Speaker 1: It's gonna suck, it's gonna have a peak. You're gonna 1066 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,600 Speaker 1: feel like you want to cry. Every emotion is gonna 1067 00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,000 Speaker 1: come up from your pinky toes and it's gonna just 1068 00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,640 Speaker 1: like feel like it's going to consume you. And all 1069 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,440 Speaker 1: of a sudden, you're gonna say the thing that you 1070 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,120 Speaker 1: will have thought to say in a loving way, but 1071 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna say your truth and then it's gonna be 1072 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:46,640 Speaker 1: out and it like washes over you. It's like it 1073 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,239 Speaker 1: reaches a peak and it does go down. It's it's 1074 00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:52,640 Speaker 1: like it spikes and then it goes down. So I 1075 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,200 Speaker 1: think what we think is we're going to stay on 1076 00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,919 Speaker 1: that spike the whole time. And the weird thing is 1077 00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:02,200 Speaker 1: is that there's peace and tranquil after you speak your truth, 1078 00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,239 Speaker 1: Like there is a moment of such freedom on the 1079 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,080 Speaker 1: other side that it's like I pray for you to 1080 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 1: go on that spike, like I pray for that tidal 1081 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,760 Speaker 1: wave to come for you, because you will have freedom 1082 00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,920 Speaker 1: and peace on the other side. Like you can't even imagine, 1083 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,560 Speaker 1: Like you can't even believe you lived that long without 1084 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,359 Speaker 1: speaking your truth. Or putting a boundary because that's how 1085 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,359 Speaker 1: free it is after you face the thing. So it's 1086 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,000 Speaker 1: like it's not going to feel In fact, I want 1087 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,440 Speaker 1: to run every time, like I actually physically have the 1088 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,400 Speaker 1: feeling of like run out of the house, like go away. 1089 00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,000 Speaker 1: Anything would be better than this right now, like anything. 1090 00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,120 Speaker 1: And that's when you just have to like sit in it, 1091 00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,160 Speaker 1: let yourself cry if it comes up, and be like 1092 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:42,320 Speaker 1: I'm emotional and I'm shaking, or maybe I'm not acting 1093 00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,080 Speaker 1: the way that I want to act through this conversation 1094 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,400 Speaker 1: because it means so much to me because I'm so 1095 00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 1: worried about losing you as a friend or we're you know, 1096 00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,600 Speaker 1: upsetting you as a parent or whatever that is. But 1097 00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,319 Speaker 1: it's it's never about them, It's about you. 1098 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:56,160 Speaker 2: It's about you. 1099 00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:59,279 Speaker 3: So I mean, at the top of this podcast, I 1100 00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,200 Speaker 3: talked about all all of the different things that you 1101 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,279 Speaker 3: have your hands in, including your own podcast, or you're 1102 00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,399 Speaker 3: happy you've been doing it for a minute now if 1103 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:10,400 Speaker 3: you were to reflect on you know, your time hosting 1104 00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:11,320 Speaker 3: or you're happy. 1105 00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,160 Speaker 2: Is there any I would say? 1106 00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,120 Speaker 3: And I know it's hard as someone who asks like 1107 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,120 Speaker 3: I get asked this all the time, but like one 1108 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,600 Speaker 3: of the biggest takeaways that you have from this experience 1109 00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,880 Speaker 3: because I know that having dipped your toe into so 1110 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,960 Speaker 3: many different forms of communicating with your audience, that at 1111 00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:28,600 Speaker 3: least right now, this seems. 1112 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:30,200 Speaker 2: To be the one that you're really enjoying the most. 1113 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:35,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, it has taught me that relationships are everything, 1114 00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:37,239 Speaker 1: and you don't have to be great at it. You 1115 00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,520 Speaker 1: can be the best listener and you're going to get 1116 00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,120 Speaker 1: just as much as the person who just you feel 1117 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,480 Speaker 1: like adds a ton of value, Like listening is one 1118 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,879 Speaker 1: of the most valuable things ever, and we don't have 1119 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,200 Speaker 1: to get our value from the belief that we have 1120 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:54,120 Speaker 1: to be valuable or interesting, Like you can actually just 1121 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:58,160 Speaker 1: sit and listen and sit with someone on their journey 1122 00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:03,560 Speaker 1: and be interested and make incredible life changing relationships that 1123 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,759 Speaker 1: will rock your world. Like everything good in my life 1124 00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,960 Speaker 1: has come from the podcast otherwise known as relationships, like 1125 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,160 Speaker 1: everything I Can't Eat, like my book deals, my like 1126 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:18,719 Speaker 1: different investors, like different best friends, like travel like ideas. 1127 00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,840 Speaker 1: It is majority of them have come by way or 1128 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:25,759 Speaker 1: somehow I could probably trace them back to me podcasting 1129 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,040 Speaker 1: or listening to a podcast or something like that. 1130 00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,040 Speaker 3: So I was once in a I was in a 1131 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:34,319 Speaker 3: personal development workshop a couple of weeks ago and one 1132 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,040 Speaker 3: of the men said something that I feel like I've 1133 00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,719 Speaker 3: heard before, but for some reason, in this time, in 1134 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:42,080 Speaker 3: this moment, he said to me that you learn by listening, 1135 00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:43,400 Speaker 3: you don't learn by speaking. 1136 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,759 Speaker 2: And I've heard it before, but. 1137 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,760 Speaker 3: Like as someone who's often listening to other people such 1138 00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,759 Speaker 3: as you, it was one of those moments that I 1139 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:57,360 Speaker 3: was like, hmm, yeah, exactly, exactly, totally. 1140 00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:58,880 Speaker 2: I know, same, totally. 1141 00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,759 Speaker 3: So right now, when you, if I was to go 1142 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,600 Speaker 3: to your Instagram feed, I would see a woman with 1143 00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:06,840 Speaker 3: all of these hot. 1144 00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:09,120 Speaker 2: Accolades that I listed again at the top of this. 1145 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,520 Speaker 3: Show, also like a beautiful woman living what seems to 1146 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:17,000 Speaker 3: be a quite the fulfilled life, thriving, thriving. When you 1147 00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:19,360 Speaker 3: look in the mirror, what is it that you see 1148 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:20,240 Speaker 3: looking back at you. 1149 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,040 Speaker 1: I'm just talking about this. I'm gonna be totally honest 1150 00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:27,440 Speaker 1: right now, Like I still like and I really I'm grateful, 1151 00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,200 Speaker 1: Like I'm so grateful for everything, and I'm actually so 1152 00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,760 Speaker 1: proud of myself. I say that all the time. That's 1153 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,880 Speaker 1: a very like a very powerful mantra for me, and 1154 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,520 Speaker 1: I'm using it all the time. Because I'm scared a 1155 00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,919 Speaker 1: lot right now, meaning I'm just I'm brand I am 1156 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,439 Speaker 1: so in a new space, you guys, that it's it's 1157 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:47,080 Speaker 1: literally rocking my world. Like there is not a day 1158 00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,800 Speaker 1: that goes by where I'm not doing ninety percent new, 1159 00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:54,040 Speaker 1: challenging things. So you can imagine that's like it's exhausting. 1160 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,640 Speaker 1: I don't get to go on autopilot. It's very rare, 1161 00:57:56,880 --> 00:58:02,320 Speaker 1: So that's like really tiring. This is like it's powerful 1162 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,000 Speaker 1: and it's tiring. And I'm telling you this because like 1163 00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,160 Speaker 1: I'm looking in the mirror and saying, I'm so proud 1164 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:11,439 Speaker 1: of you, and also like, oh, but you know, I'm 1165 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:13,880 Speaker 1: snacking more and I'm not eating as good and I 1166 00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,000 Speaker 1: wish like I have a standard over here that's not 1167 00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,120 Speaker 1: being met, and you know, I wish I could spend 1168 00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,280 Speaker 1: more time with this girlfriend, and oh my gosh, what 1169 00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,520 Speaker 1: does my family think of me? And am I present 1170 00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,000 Speaker 1: enough for them? And you know, all of the things 1171 00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:28,840 Speaker 1: that we it doesn't go away. It's it's I think 1172 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,120 Speaker 1: we just manage the buckets, ten different buckets going on 1173 00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,040 Speaker 1: at all times, and it's like, yes, you'd look and 1174 00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,160 Speaker 1: right now I'm doing really great in the business, bucket 1175 00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:39,600 Speaker 1: I am because a lot of my focus is going there. 1176 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:43,200 Speaker 1: But I'm not feeling great in other buckets and they're good. 1177 00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:45,680 Speaker 1: They're good now at least I've gotten most of them 1178 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,360 Speaker 1: to good and and I think that's what I have 1179 00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,640 Speaker 1: to I not have to. I'm trying so hard to 1180 00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:56,360 Speaker 1: remind myself like they're not always going to be like great. 1181 00:58:56,760 --> 00:59:01,040 Speaker 1: Everything has a season, and it's just remembering to look 1182 00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:03,000 Speaker 1: at each one and saying which one is really important 1183 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,400 Speaker 1: to you and like, Okay, that one is going to 1184 00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,400 Speaker 1: have a season coming up. I have plans to be 1185 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,880 Speaker 1: like really dropped in with family over the next month. Okay, 1186 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,960 Speaker 1: that's great, and then I can go back over here, 1187 00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:15,760 Speaker 1: you know, and do some different things. But that's been 1188 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,160 Speaker 1: powerful for me just to remember, like, man, we are 1189 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,320 Speaker 1: not not going to feel great in all arenas, but 1190 00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:24,520 Speaker 1: we can feel good and we can be proud. And 1191 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,720 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to really focus on just making sure 1192 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:31,160 Speaker 1: that I I feel proud of most all of it. 1193 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,440 Speaker 2: So what you're saying is you see a woman holding 1194 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,760 Speaker 2: like six different buckets when. 1195 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:40,080 Speaker 3: You look in the miror I just can I ask 1196 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,200 Speaker 3: you how your relationship is with your family now? 1197 00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's way better. I think we're really really I 1198 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,520 Speaker 1: would say that we are really good. It's it's a 1199 00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,240 Speaker 1: work in progress all the time, yeah, all the time, 1200 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:55,360 Speaker 1: but we definitely I would say probably around probably eight 1201 00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,920 Speaker 1: years ago when I went to Landmark Forum, there was 1202 00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:00,960 Speaker 1: actually a part of this program. It's a personal development 1203 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,600 Speaker 1: program if you don't know what it is. I had 1204 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,120 Speaker 1: no idea what I was getting myself into. But on 1205 01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,360 Speaker 1: like day two, they're like, okay, write down like the conversation, 1206 01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,320 Speaker 1: like the biggest conversation you need to have, and the 1207 01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,960 Speaker 1: biggest truth you need to tell, something like that. And 1208 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,160 Speaker 1: so I write everything down right because I'm just thinking 1209 01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,120 Speaker 1: I'm just going to share it with like a neighbor. 1210 01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, great, I'm already sharing things. This is wonderful. 1211 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,280 Speaker 1: I didn't think they were actually going to make me 1212 01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:24,920 Speaker 1: go do it. So I write down that I need 1213 01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:27,560 Speaker 1: to have this honest conversation with my parents, like and 1214 01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 1: I write down the conversation that I need to have, 1215 01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,640 Speaker 1: and they're like, Okay, we're going on break and you're 1216 01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:34,560 Speaker 1: not allowed back in the room until you've called these 1217 01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,640 Speaker 1: people and you've gotten a hold of them and you've 1218 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,640 Speaker 1: taken care of this thing, and I was like, I mean, 1219 01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:44,760 Speaker 1: I was pissed so and I took it serious. I 1220 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:46,440 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I have to do this thing. 1221 01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:48,480 Speaker 1: So I ended up calling them and bawling and having 1222 01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,920 Speaker 1: this like hour long conversation with my parents in my 1223 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,760 Speaker 1: car about all of the things about all of my 1224 01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,160 Speaker 1: life and all of the ways that I felt, and 1225 01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,320 Speaker 1: that was the opening. It didn't go great, but it 1226 01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,080 Speaker 1: was an opening and they were really up said, at 1227 01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:02,920 Speaker 1: least my mom was really upset, is what I remember. 1228 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,600 Speaker 1: And I said, you know, I wouldn't have even told 1229 01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:07,920 Speaker 1: you this if I didn't. Here's the key, you guys, 1230 01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,320 Speaker 1: if you're gonna have a tough conversation, tell them what 1231 01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:13,360 Speaker 1: you ultimately want and tell them truthfully. I said, I 1232 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,680 Speaker 1: would never even had this conversation with you if I 1233 01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:21,320 Speaker 1: didn't want a real, loving, long term, like deep connected 1234 01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:25,240 Speaker 1: relationship with you. And I think that changed everything. So 1235 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:29,040 Speaker 1: it's just remembering, go in with the feeling of the 1236 01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:32,160 Speaker 1: intention that you want, and then speak the intention that 1237 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:33,840 Speaker 1: you want so that they know. And I think it 1238 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:37,439 Speaker 1: creates like a safety bubble around everything that's being said 1239 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,840 Speaker 1: because you're only saying it to clear the air and 1240 01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:41,960 Speaker 1: You're only saying it because you ultimately want to get 1241 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,000 Speaker 1: to the truth of your relationship where it can be 1242 01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:47,080 Speaker 1: real and it's not based on like me being a 1243 01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,680 Speaker 1: different person because I'm afraid if they find out who 1244 01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,760 Speaker 1: I really am, or me feeling like I can't be 1245 01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:55,280 Speaker 1: myself because they won't accept me. That wasn't a relationship 1246 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:55,480 Speaker 1: to me. 1247 01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:01,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, for someone who specialized is in self love and 1248 01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:06,280 Speaker 3: personal development work, for someone who's struggling to really feel 1249 01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:10,400 Speaker 3: invested in themselves, to love themselves, what would you say 1250 01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:14,000 Speaker 3: is one thing that they could do tomorrow to work 1251 01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:14,280 Speaker 3: on that. 1252 01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:17,640 Speaker 1: This can go so many ways. So I want to 1253 01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:21,640 Speaker 1: say a couple things, like, sometimes self love means finishing something, 1254 01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,520 Speaker 1: because for me, that's what it meant. Like sometimes it 1255 01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:27,480 Speaker 1: was like make yourself proud, don't quit on yourself again, 1256 01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,840 Speaker 1: Like don't do this. You deserve so much better. So 1257 01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:33,160 Speaker 1: sometimes it can be like following through on an action 1258 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,400 Speaker 1: you want to do that could even be fun. Like 1259 01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:37,920 Speaker 1: it can be like, oh my gosh, I have been 1260 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,000 Speaker 1: wanting to go take a dance lesson in so long 1261 01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:43,520 Speaker 1: and I haven't been doing it because because you're just 1262 01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,960 Speaker 1: not making time for it or whatever. The reason is, 1263 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,000 Speaker 1: but it's telling your brain you don't deserve it, like 1264 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:49,720 Speaker 1: you don't deserve to go and do the things that 1265 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,280 Speaker 1: you want to do, or you don't deserve to have fun, 1266 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,320 Speaker 1: or you don't deserve to be around those people, or 1267 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,720 Speaker 1: you don't deserve to shop at that place. Whatever that 1268 01:02:56,760 --> 01:03:00,520 Speaker 1: thing is, like, start practicing because it's it's so different 1269 01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,640 Speaker 1: for everyone. It can come in completely different forms. And 1270 01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,520 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that it will change throughout your life 1271 01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:08,160 Speaker 1: of what that means. But what can you give yourself 1272 01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,120 Speaker 1: right now that can either make you proud or can 1273 01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:15,040 Speaker 1: just make you feel better or more like you? So 1274 01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:17,080 Speaker 1: that might be like self love could come in the 1275 01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:20,560 Speaker 1: form of fun, like I sometimes action or activity, and 1276 01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:22,479 Speaker 1: like fun for me is the best form of self 1277 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,160 Speaker 1: love because I feel like me when I'm doing it. 1278 01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,640 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's going and like having a glass of wine 1279 01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,680 Speaker 1: with that friend that I make laugh the whole time, 1280 01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,400 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, oh God, that's right, I am funny. 1281 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,400 Speaker 1: No one else has been laughing, but she does. So 1282 01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,160 Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's different with all things, 1283 01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:39,320 Speaker 1: But how can you get those little moments more often? 1284 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,440 Speaker 1: And that's what I try to focus on all. 1285 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:43,280 Speaker 2: Right, Laurie. 1286 01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,000 Speaker 3: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a 1287 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:51,680 Speaker 3: piece of advice. Let's go between ages eighteen and twenty two, 1288 01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:57,280 Speaker 3: when you are as you articulated, perhaps in that near 1289 01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,600 Speaker 3: rock bottom place, a collection of moments that are aligning 1290 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,560 Speaker 3: with rock bottom. Right now, you, as you are today, 1291 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,080 Speaker 3: have an opportunity to offer that Laurie a piece of advice. 1292 01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:10,720 Speaker 2: What do you tell her? 1293 01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:14,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I literally the first thing is because 1294 01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:15,840 Speaker 1: I was so afraid of everything and it has so 1295 01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,960 Speaker 1: much anxiety. It was like run towards it, go bigger, 1296 01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,360 Speaker 1: do the scary thing, because you're not going to die, 1297 01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,880 Speaker 1: Like I would have just told her that, Like, you 1298 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:24,960 Speaker 1: won't die. You might feel like you're gonna have a 1299 01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:26,880 Speaker 1: heart attack and pass out and people are gonna hate you, 1300 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,720 Speaker 1: or you won't be accepted, but like you'll make it through. 1301 01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:31,960 Speaker 1: Like none of it can take you down. You are 1302 01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:36,280 Speaker 1: protected by something so much bigger full faith, Like use 1303 01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,400 Speaker 1: your faith because that is like I love that quote. 1304 01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,280 Speaker 1: Faith begins where your skill set ends. Go in full faith, 1305 01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,720 Speaker 1: do the thing like lean in. That's what I would. 1306 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,960 Speaker 3: Say, Go in full faith. Laurie Harder, Thank you so 1307 01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:48,880 Speaker 3: much for your time today, I'm so grateful that you 1308 01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:50,600 Speaker 3: went on your journey so that you can share your 1309 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:53,120 Speaker 3: journey with all of us, and you're encouraging me to, like, 1310 01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:59,440 Speaker 3: at least take I don't know, three to six seminars with. 1311 01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:59,320 Speaker 2: This within the next two to three month period. 1312 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,480 Speaker 1: That's awesome. Thank you so much for having me. I'm 1313 01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:05,160 Speaker 1: so grateful. This was so much fun, Laura. 1314 01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:07,040 Speaker 2: How do the hurdlers keep up with you? How do 1315 01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,520 Speaker 2: they follow along with you? Give me all the details? 1316 01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:13,360 Speaker 1: Oh man, I mean I'm on Instagram at Lori Harder 1317 01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:17,640 Speaker 1: and my new company is at drink Light Pink, so 1318 01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:19,920 Speaker 1: we're doing just a lot of really fun stuff over there. 1319 01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:23,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Podcasting is earned your happy and girlfriends in business. 1320 01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:26,720 Speaker 2: You're happy and girlfriends in business. Thank you so much. 1321 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:29,960 Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily Abodi and at Hurdle Podcast. Another 1322 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,439 Speaker 3: hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.