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Speaker 1: If God watches over all of his children, then why

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Speaker 1: wasn't I watched over? I was subject to all forms

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Speaker 1: of abuse via my foster family for the last seventeen years. Still,

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Speaker 1: to this day, this question has never been answered. Chad Warren, father, husband, pastor, friend,

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Speaker 1: frequent guest on the podcast Welcome Back, Sir, it is

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Speaker 1: great to be here, man. I love it. I love

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Speaker 1: it when you're here. We have questions, and you are

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Speaker 1: the man with the answers. I have some answers and

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Speaker 1: I'm amen. So we've built this podcast. If you're new,

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Speaker 1: we make it as if we're all sitting around a

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Speaker 1: campfire or sitting in the truck and there's three of us,

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Speaker 1: me and Chad, and you're asking the questions, and we

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Speaker 1: could walk through some of these questions as if we've

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Speaker 1: known each other forever, then as if we're just giving

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Speaker 1: friend advice to each other. If you want to send

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Speaker 1: an email, shoot it over to Grangersmith podcast at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com. Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be

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Speaker 1: any subject. As long as I've done this, now, I

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Speaker 1: see the subject matters get wider and wider, and we

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Speaker 1: welcome that. So we're going to dig in Chad and

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Speaker 1: are going to dig in. I love it when Chad's here.

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Speaker 1: You're a Montana boy, Texas replanted, right. And is there

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Speaker 1: a state in between Montana and Texas that you lived Colora, Colorado, Colorado? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you're cover. Some consider North Texas so not Colorado.

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Speaker 1: People they hate that. No, they don't get the Texas

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Speaker 1: out of here. Yeah. And when we live there, my

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Speaker 1: wife being from Texas and that's where we met. I

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Speaker 1: was in South Texas or the southern part of the

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Speaker 1: hill Country, and when we live there, we reminded them that, look,

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Speaker 1: you get to have fun, and Colorado exists, probably because

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Speaker 1: Texans consider it North Texas and they vacation here. I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't say that to anybody in Colorado and myself, you

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Speaker 1: could say that, I wouldn't say that. I'll say this,

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Speaker 1: there are traffic jams between Denver and the mountains because

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Speaker 1: of Texans, is true? That is true? Absolutely. I want

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Speaker 1: to I'm gonna start this off with some some easy

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Speaker 1: questions and then I'm gonna start leaving it up to

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Speaker 1: you like we did last time. Read the subjects. You

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Speaker 1: see if you like it. I saw one on here

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Speaker 1: that I thought that here we go. It's it's titled

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Speaker 1: sports like, Oh, that's a great that's a great person,

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Speaker 1: says hey grangdeer. I'm a big fan of your music

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Speaker 1: and your YouTube channel. Thank you, It says, just wondering

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Speaker 1: if you played any sports growing up. God bless you

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Speaker 1: and your family, sincerely, Michelle, Thank you, Michelle, thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Can I guess? Can I guess? Yeah? Do it? You

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Speaker 1: strike me? Not a soccer player? Not a not a

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Speaker 1: soccer player? You probably I'm gonna say baseball. You look

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Speaker 1: like you could be a ballplayer. Yeah, yeah, maybe a

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Speaker 1: football player definitely, but maybe basketball. I don't. You weren't

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Speaker 1: a wrestler, that's right. Maybe track and field. I dabbled in,

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Speaker 1: if I said enough to maybe cover my base, I

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Speaker 1: dabbled enough, and and all of them as a kid,

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Speaker 1: there's probably a lot of us did except basketball. I

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Speaker 1: was terrible, terrible at basketball. Still am. Yeah, I can't.

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Speaker 1: I cannot shoot a basket or dribble. I was mainly

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Speaker 1: a football player, mainly a football player. It probably goes

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Speaker 1: with the culture of where I was living in North Texas,

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Speaker 1: and it's you know, there was in football there's no tryout.

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Speaker 1: You just show up and if you if you could

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Speaker 1: take it, if you could take the practices, then you're

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Speaker 1: on the team, which is I think it's really cool

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Speaker 1: about Texas football. I don't even know if that that

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Speaker 1: probably is the same everywhere. But football is a sport

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Speaker 1: that you don't try out for. You just show up,

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Speaker 1: if you could, if you could hang, and if you

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Speaker 1: last what through two a days and you're still there,

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Speaker 1: and if you're still there, welcome to the team. Wow,

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Speaker 1: we could use you. So is it were you offense

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Speaker 1: or defense or played play defense. I played cornerback, which

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Speaker 1: is probably why you thought you might have thought it

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Speaker 1: was a baseball player because I don't have the size

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Speaker 1: of alignment or a linebacker or running back. But I

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Speaker 1: played cornerback and I loved it. It's an interesting question

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Speaker 1: because I learned so much from junior high and high

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Speaker 1: school football. We were so serious about football in my

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Speaker 1: high school that our coaches actually didn't let us play

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Speaker 1: anything else, or at least they really looked down on it.

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Speaker 1: They would really look down on you playing another sport

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Speaker 1: that you could possibly get injured in or take away

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Speaker 1: from spring training or they except for track, track was

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Speaker 1: like the one sport they encouraged because that actually helped

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Speaker 1: your agility and your speed. And a lot of those

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Speaker 1: guys coach track too. But soccer don't even think about it. No,

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Speaker 1: I liked soccer as a little kid, but our football

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Speaker 1: coach is no way they called it. If I could

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Speaker 1: say that on this podcast, that's what they said, something

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Speaker 1: Texans would say. I loved the sport of soccer. I

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Speaker 1: really knew football is it's known everywhere else. How about you?

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Speaker 1: So like you, I I played a lot of stuff

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Speaker 1: as a little little kid. I think, you know, my

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Speaker 1: mom wanted to get me exposed, and I think mostly

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Speaker 1: just to keep me busy. I was put in camps

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Speaker 1: like throughout the whole summer just so that I was

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Speaker 1: using my energy up. I was. I enjoyed baseball the most,

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Speaker 1: but I was the best at wrestling. I was a wrestler,

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Speaker 1: and and then I in as I started to get older,

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Speaker 1: I was into cross country and track because that was

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Speaker 1: a better sport to facilitate wrestling, to build endurance and

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Speaker 1: to maintain way. And so I was. I was a

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Speaker 1: good wrestler, but I enjoyed baseball more. Good. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: could see that gear because I liked the way that

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Speaker 1: my ears like the way God made them, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't want them to change. You didn't want those little

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Speaker 1: bubbles and all. Yeah, the cauliflower here, I man, that

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Speaker 1: was I encourage anyone listening that's maybe thinking about should

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Speaker 1: I get into something? I don't know. I think sports

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Speaker 1: were such a such a big part of my life,

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Speaker 1: and football because that's what I played, but the team

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Speaker 1: sport aspect about it I learned. To this day, I

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Speaker 1: will do things in my life that I know I

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Speaker 1: learned from high school football, whether that's some kind of

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Speaker 1: mental endurance or some kind of lesson I could get

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Speaker 1: from a loss, you know, like losing crush to me.

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Speaker 1: When I was in high school, I was the kid

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Speaker 1: on the bus going back, just devastated and going over

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Speaker 1: everything I did in my mind and reliving mistakes and

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Speaker 1: to get better. And my parents could probably tell you

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Speaker 1: they loved it because I would go in early, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I would eat breakfast in the locker room, and

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Speaker 1: I would start studying film, and then I would go

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Speaker 1: through school, and then i'd go to practice after well,

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Speaker 1: then i'd stay late make sure I had everything studied right.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have time to go riff raff around in

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Speaker 1: town because football took a lot of my mental energy.

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Speaker 1: So if my parents ever wondered where I was in

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Speaker 1: high school, I was in the locker room doing something. Well.

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Speaker 1: You make a good point about the team work, the

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Speaker 1: team sports versus individual sports. I think that's a very

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Speaker 1: different experience because wrestling, I mean, we would train with

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Speaker 1: other people, but it was very internally competitive, like you're

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Speaker 1: competing for that top spot in that weight class, even

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Speaker 1: within your team, and so there is an intensity there

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Speaker 1: which I'm sure you see in other sports. But the

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Speaker 1: baseball there was much more of a hey, we're in

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Speaker 1: this together. There's a camaraderie in this. Everyone's got to

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Speaker 1: do their job for this to work out, and even

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Speaker 1: more so with football, everyone linemen to cornerback, everyone's got

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Speaker 1: to play their position, every play a certain way for

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Speaker 1: this thing to pan out. And it's pretty cool. And

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Speaker 1: I tell so, I get a coach little league. Now,

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Speaker 1: I catch I coach my kiddos, and I love it

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Speaker 1: because I can see it now that sports, like a

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Speaker 1: game and a season, is like a microcosm of life.

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Speaker 1: If you go through emotional ups and downs, you face adversity,

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Speaker 1: and one minute everything is awesome, and it can just

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Speaker 1: change so quick, and you've got to emotionally how do

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Speaker 1: you handle those ups and downs? And it's a great

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Speaker 1: training ground, I think for all of us to deal

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Speaker 1: with the ups and downs. And how are we when

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Speaker 1: when everything's good? Are we a jerk when things are

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Speaker 1: going well? And are we a jerk when they aren't?

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Speaker 1: Do we blame others? Do we we own things that

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Speaker 1: are our mistake and that we need to do better.

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Speaker 1: Do we have a short memory about mistakes and so

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Speaker 1: that we can move forward? Do we sacrifice for our teammates?

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Speaker 1: There's so many cool things. So yes, if you're not

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Speaker 1: in a sport, you should probably go find a sport.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I have to tell a quick story about that.

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Speaker 1: And I know that this is not what this podcast is,

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Speaker 1: not about football or sports, but but I'll never forget.

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Speaker 1: It was in ninth grade, and ninth grade for me

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Speaker 1: was the end of junior high so that you know,

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Speaker 1: we fed into high school. We went into high school

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Speaker 1: in our sophomore year and there was two rival junior

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Speaker 1: highs and we were both undefeated. And these these two

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Speaker 1: junior highs both fed into our high school, so they

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Speaker 1: were they were about to be our brothers next year,

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Speaker 1: but not today. And we played the game at our

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Speaker 1: high school field, so you know, it was like a

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Speaker 1: big deal. We didn't play in the little junior high field.

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Speaker 1: We played in the high school stadium first each other

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Speaker 1: last game of the season, both undefeated, and they had

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Speaker 1: this big old quarterback. His name is Sean Staley ended

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Speaker 1: up playing quarterback for TCU. Big, you know, six seven

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Speaker 1: legit dude. He could scramble, he could throw, and so

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Speaker 1: they built up He ended up being our high school quarterback,

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Speaker 1: which you know is a great friend. But they built

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Speaker 1: this play for me. Our coach has built this play.

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Speaker 1: It was a cornerback blitz and I would come in

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Speaker 1: off the off the tackle and go backside and tack

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Speaker 1: and sack him when he was looking the other way.

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Speaker 1: And we had to call this. This play was if

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Speaker 1: it triggered, if they brought out a certain formation that

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Speaker 1: we knew, or they're going to roll out and I'd

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Speaker 1: come in on the backside. And no one really expects

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Speaker 1: the cornerback to blitz. That's but the safety would always

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Speaker 1: protect the you know, if there was a tight end,

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Speaker 1: the safety would roll over the top. So it was

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Speaker 1: a trick play basically, So we called it, and I

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Speaker 1: remember my heart was pounding because I knew they came

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Speaker 1: out in this formation. The coaches gave the signal from

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Speaker 1: the sideline. I knew this is it. My heart was pounding,

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Speaker 1: like here we go. I've been practicing. So we got

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Speaker 1: off the ball and I ended up sacking him. He

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Speaker 1: didn't even see me coming because it was from the backside.

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Speaker 1: So I was just on cloud nine. You know. The

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Speaker 1: crowd was excited, they were cheering, and I said, who

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Speaker 1: is great. There's a ninth grade kid, you know, a

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Speaker 1: pimple faced kid. And it was a big game. Was

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Speaker 1: one of the biggest days of my life at the time.

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Speaker 1: So second half comes out and it's a close game.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember the score, and they come out in

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Speaker 1: that formation again, same call. Coach gives me the signal.

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Speaker 1: So this this formation only happens if they're tight, if

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Speaker 1: they have a tight end, right obviously, So that's what

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Speaker 1: they did. Here's what I didn't know, and they knew.

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Speaker 1: They knew this, and they talked about it at halftime.

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Speaker 1: So they came out with a trick play on their own,

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Speaker 1: and they rolled out ten men onto the field. And

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Speaker 1: the eleventh man was the wide receiver hidden on the

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Speaker 1: sideline with the coach just standing there looking like he's talking,

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Speaker 1: looking like he's talking to the coach, but he's also

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Speaker 1: standing next to the ref who was in on it

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Speaker 1: at the time. So they got up to the line

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Speaker 1: and I'm only thinking about, oh, here we go, there's

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Speaker 1: another cornerback blitz. So I line up and just at

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Speaker 1: the right time, that receiver stepped off the sideline into

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Speaker 1: a wide receiver spot. They snapped the ball. The quarterback

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Speaker 1: knew what I was doing. I'm the only one that

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Speaker 1: didn't know what was going on. And he's wide open.

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Speaker 1: Long bomb just sailed, just a nice little toss, just

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Speaker 1: an easy catch, touchdown. Crowd on their side goes nuts.

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Speaker 1: I just fell. I was just so of course, my coaches,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'd have to talk to him. They

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Speaker 1: acted like they saw it, like Granger Smith, come on, man, Smith,

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Speaker 1: keep your head on a swivel. Do you see what

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Speaker 1: they're doing? And evidently they were. Yet they saw it.

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Speaker 1: Evidently you know, yeah, they're probably my age now, you know,

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Speaker 1: back then, So I then, but then what happens, to

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Speaker 1: my point, what happens you go to the huddle and

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Speaker 1: you gotta go back and play another play, you know,

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Speaker 1: because they it was. It was totally devastating to me,

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Speaker 1: and I learned, and then throughout high school, I always looked.

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Speaker 1: I always looked to my left. I've played on left

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Speaker 1: cornerback side, I always looked to my left, check for

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Speaker 1: the receiver. Second, I always looked, or I would count

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Speaker 1: when you do eleven, they're all out here. I never

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Speaker 1: let that happen again. So thank you, Michelle. I know

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Speaker 1: there's a long answer, but I'm passionate about that stuff.

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Speaker 1: So Chad, I'm gonna sart. I'm gonna start rolling you

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Speaker 1: with these. We have toughest God question never answered. We

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Speaker 1: have beliefs, food for thought, fifty five years young. We

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Speaker 1: have a four pastor, Chad. We have please help getting married,

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Speaker 1: cheating brother in law, trouble with girls, my wife and

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Speaker 1: I are thinking about moving. I should probably stop at

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Speaker 1: that point about you. There's like four or five solid

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Speaker 1: you have to answer those. I think I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: leaning towards pastor Chad, since okay, we'll start. You're here,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to skip that one and then we

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Speaker 1: get onto something else, and wish we had, so it says,

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Speaker 1: how do you from Oklahoma? It says, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: make this as short as possible. Third commandment, shall not

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Speaker 1: take the Lord's name in vain. Giving that commandment, my

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Speaker 1: soul is lost forever. Right, That's what I've been told

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Speaker 1: in the past. Haven't been to church since Marine Corps

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Speaker 1: boot camp in two thousand and seven. I listened to

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Speaker 1: Amber's Arise every Sunday, the Chosen show first time I

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Speaker 1: bench watched it and send it to Amber because I

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Speaker 1: knew she could spread that farther than me. I just

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Speaker 1: feel completely lost as to the times I have cursed

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Speaker 1: God for so many many things. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: kind of help can be provided, but anything would be helpful.

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Speaker 1: I suppose that comes from Jason. Okay, so you've got

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Speaker 1: a lot there. Yeah, Jason, thank you for your service

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Speaker 1: of serving the Marine Corps. Thank you for listening and

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Speaker 1: caring to email and this compelling your heart to email

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Speaker 1: us in and shout out to Oklahoma. This question is

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Speaker 1: is going to be. It's complex, but it's a lot

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Speaker 1: simpler than you think. It's a lot simpler than you think.

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Speaker 1: You want to start this, Chad, Yeah, I mean, at

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Speaker 1: first I caught their the third commandment, taking the Lord's

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Speaker 1: name in vain. I caught in their question about does

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Speaker 1: that mean eternal damnation? Like is he sid duck there?

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Speaker 1: Given that commandment, my soul is lost forever. That's what

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Speaker 1: I've been told in the past. And then he goes

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Speaker 1: on to say, I have taken the Lord's name many

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Speaker 1: many times in vain. Yeah. So you can get caught

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Speaker 1: up in the mistakes that you make and the ways

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Speaker 1: that you failed. But one of the things that we

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Speaker 1: as we read through the New Testament we understand why

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Speaker 1: Christ came and who he is, is that he came

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Speaker 1: not to change the law, but to perfectly fulfill the law.

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Speaker 1: We also learned that the law is there to show

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Speaker 1: us that we need a savior, that we do fall short.

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Speaker 1: And the scripture says all have sinned and fall short

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Speaker 1: of the glory of God, and that the wages of

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Speaker 1: sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal

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Speaker 1: life in Christ Jesus. So I'm walking through Romans right now,

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Speaker 1: Romans three, Romans six, and in Romans eight. There is

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Speaker 1: no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. James

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Speaker 1: says that no one can claim that they are without sin,

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Speaker 1: so that we're all in the same boat that you describe.

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Speaker 1: We're all in a boat that man. We have done

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Speaker 1: way too much, thought too much that we could ever

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Speaker 1: nationalized before a perfect and holy God that he should

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Speaker 1: let us in. However, that's not where the story ends,

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Speaker 1: or not left in our brokenness. But Christ Jesus entered

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Speaker 1: the picture so that he could he could transfer his

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Speaker 1: perfect life and fulfillment of the law and take on

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Speaker 1: God's wrath on our behalf. And so even though yes,

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Speaker 1: all of us, no one can claim to be in

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Speaker 1: a place of perfection. No one has done it right perfectly,

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Speaker 1: or thought it right perfectly, or spoken it right perfectly.

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Speaker 1: And so that feeling, that tension that you feel is

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Speaker 1: a it's actually a good tension. Yeah. Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: place of humility and a place that you go, I

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Speaker 1: can't do this, and you're absolutely right, you can't exactly

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Speaker 1: where you need to be. So you've let me just

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Speaker 1: be straight up, Jason. You've been told wrong. You have

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Speaker 1: been told wrong, you have been told that you're there's

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Speaker 1: no turning back from what you've done. Basically, now, what

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Speaker 1: what you're right about it is you're completely lost, you

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Speaker 1: are completely lost. That's the right place you need to be,

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Speaker 1: because we all essentially are completely lost. If we're not lost,

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Speaker 1: we don't need to be found. There's no point in

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Speaker 1: the story of Jesus Christ, the gospel message, there's no

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Speaker 1: point if we're not lost we need. You can't be

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Speaker 1: saved unless you have a reason to be saved. You

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Speaker 1: don't need a savior unless you need saving. So Jason,

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Speaker 1: you're You're right where you need to be. And the

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Speaker 1: other thing I want to say is you can't take

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Speaker 1: one commandment and act like there's not nine others you know?

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Speaker 1: Have you not ever lied? Have you not ever stolen anything,

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Speaker 1: not even if it could be, not even physical? Have

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Speaker 1: you always obeyed your parents? Have you loved the Lord

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Speaker 1: your God with all your heart and soul, might and strength?

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Speaker 1: Have you done that? I think you probably have broken

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Speaker 1: them all. I think we've broken we've all broken all

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Speaker 1: of them. I mean even murder. Have you hated your brother?

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Speaker 1: You've committed murder? So we've broken them all. So you can't.

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Speaker 1: You can't take one. And honestly, shame on anyone that

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Speaker 1: pointed one out to you and said you've done that.

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Speaker 1: I've heard you say this. I've heard you say the

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Speaker 1: Lord's name in vain many times, and you are eternally damned. Brother,

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Speaker 1: you were already eternally damned before you said that. That's

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Speaker 1: why you needed a savior. And that's why Chad is

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Speaker 1: saying in the New Testament, when Jesus Christ comes to

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Speaker 1: the earth and fulfills the law and takes the place

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Speaker 1: of that that sin that we're full of, we're all

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Speaker 1: wretched sinners. He took the place of that for you

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Speaker 1: so that in return you believe in him and give

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Speaker 1: everything back to him and say, Jesus can't, I can't,

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Speaker 1: I can't do this. I am lost. Take me, let

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Speaker 1: me follow you. And that's the story of the Gospel. Amen.

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Speaker 1: So good word back. That's it we got. Let's do

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Speaker 1: one more in this in this session. I have alcoholic

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Speaker 1: veteran needs help. I have faith in friends, I have

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Speaker 1: What would you do if you're seventeen and your parents

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Speaker 1: are trying to destroy your relationship? Any of these pop

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Speaker 1: out to you? Do you? You mentioned one that I'm

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Speaker 1: sure other people heard, toughest question, toughest God question. That's intriguing,

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Speaker 1: right it is? Now? I read this before before we started,

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Speaker 1: I skimmed it, and it's a tough one. But let

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Speaker 1: me say that sometimes what I learned through reading y'all's

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Speaker 1: questions is there's a lot of people asking the same question,

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Speaker 1: just putting different words in it. But we're all living

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Speaker 1: something in here. And then you guys make it specific

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Speaker 1: to your life, but the answers you're probably going to

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Speaker 1: be very similar. That says Hey, Grangeer, I love watching you.

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Speaker 1: Blessings to all. The question that I asked I said here,

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Speaker 1: he says, I send it this email a few days ago.

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Speaker 1: If God watches over all of his children, then why

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Speaker 1: wasn't I watched over? I was subject to all forms

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Speaker 1: of abuse via my foster family for the last seventeen years.

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Speaker 1: Still to this day, this question has never been answered. Well,

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Speaker 1: before I go any further, DJ, we're about to answer

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Speaker 1: it for your brother, says, yes, I survived. My blood

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Speaker 1: brother couldn't handle it. So there it is, Grangeer, my

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Speaker 1: ultimate question. Thanks for your time in advance. So here's

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Speaker 1: the question, and you're saying it's never been answered, and

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Speaker 1: I love that you've said that, and I love that

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Speaker 1: you've you've given us the opportunity. But essentially, he's saying,

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Speaker 1: if God watches over all his children, why I wasn't

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Speaker 1: I watched over right? And And that's you know, you

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Speaker 1: could reward it and say, if there is a God,

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Speaker 1: and why is there pain in the world, why didn't

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Speaker 1: he stop it? And if you can't stop it, then

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Speaker 1: he's not God. And if he won't stop it, then

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Speaker 1: he's a mean God. And I don't want any part

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Speaker 1: of that, right. That's that's the theology of that, I think,

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Speaker 1: or the philosophy of that, thinking where would you start

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Speaker 1: with that? Chaed First of all, I want to say,

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Speaker 1: there's no theological answer is going to remove just the

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Speaker 1: the reality of probably how much pain you experienced and

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Speaker 1: the fact that your brother and and the emotional struggles

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Speaker 1: that you've had through that that's real, yeah, And and

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Speaker 1: that pain is lasting, and that that can that try

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Speaker 1: can linger and have huge effects. And so I want

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Speaker 1: to recognize that that is very, very real and not

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Speaker 1: try to minimize that where I tend to because there's

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Speaker 1: two parts to it. There's the idea that God sees

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Speaker 1: and does nothing, and so there's this this assumption that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't care. Right, So then people say, well, if

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Speaker 1: this is happening, and then he must not be there

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Speaker 1: or he must not care. And it's that kind of

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Speaker 1: philosophical problem of evil, right, How can evil exist when

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Speaker 1: there's an all loving, all powerful God, Because if he's

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Speaker 1: all loving, he would want to stop it. If he's

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Speaker 1: all powerful, he could stop it. But yet evil persists.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if we've I feel like we've

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Speaker 1: touched on that component before, but not directly related to

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Speaker 1: this kind of abuse. And the reality is such that

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Speaker 1: it isn't as though God prescribes abuse, and it certainly

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Speaker 1: isn't the case that he likes it or turns an

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Speaker 1: eye away from it and doesn't care. That would be

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Speaker 1: to misunderstand who God is and his character. I think

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Speaker 1: that there is also the reality of human sin, and

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Speaker 1: that we live in a fallen and extremely broken world.

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Speaker 1: And so while yes, God does see, he is in

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Speaker 1: a place where he sees all of creation, and he

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Speaker 1: is deeply troubled by the amount of sin and the

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Speaker 1: effects of sin on this creation. But it's also the

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Speaker 1: case that he's created the conditions where we live in

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Speaker 1: a fallen world. These are the conditions that we humanity

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Speaker 1: have caused. But he is a god that has also

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Speaker 1: created the conditions for love. And since love only true

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Speaker 1: love can be experienced through choice when I have the ability,

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Speaker 1: like if I am in a relationship with my wife

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Speaker 1: and she is required to be in that relationship and

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Speaker 1: she is coerced into that relationship, that is not love,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that she chooses, and that I choose

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Speaker 1: to sacrifice other things because I want to love her

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Speaker 1: and serve her, then love can happen. But it can't

425
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: happen if it's coursed and if there's no alternative. And

426
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,199
Speaker 1: so we are in a world where the conditions of

427
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: love exist because there's choice to do so, which also

428
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: means there's the option and choice to not love, to abuse,

429
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: to hate, to carry out all kinds of evil. And

430
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: it's not a situation that God looks down and is

431
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: indifferent to. And we know that, and we come back

432
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: to the gospel. He is. God is familiar with abuse

433
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: and betrayal because He has taken on human form and

434
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: identified with every component of it. Absolutely dj these stories,

435
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: just like yours, are in that book that we're talking about,

436
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: and a collective read of the Bible I know. And

437
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: let me just say this, sometimes when when you hear

438
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: me say read the Bible. You might think you kind

439
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 1: of can't really read that thing, right, It's like a big,

440
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: boring book. You can't. It's not made for reading. It's

441
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 1: just made for like pulling out coffee mug phrases here

442
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: and there and putting them on the wall. Precious, precious moments,

443
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 1: precious moments. And so before that, and I still I

444
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 1: still kind of unraveled this in my mind exactly what

445
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 1: to say, but what I think it is, it has

446
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: to it's somewhere in this world. It's you, Dja getting

447
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 1: getting in a quiet place on your knees. And Chad

448
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: and I talked about this before the podcast on another subject,

449
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: and you saying, God, I've seen you work through other people.

450
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: I haven't felt it in my life, to be honest,

451
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: I don't even know if you're if you're listening, but

452
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: I want to feel that hunger. I don't want to

453
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: do this anymore. I don't want to. I don't want to.

454
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: Just like I said in the last question, I don't

455
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: want to take control of my life anymore because I can,

456
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: I'm not very good at it, and it only leads

457
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: to suffering. Make me hungry for that save me from this.

458
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 1: And then you open up that Bible and you start

459
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: You could start anywhere, start at John one. It's a

460
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: good place to start. And as you start reading it

461
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: with that kind of reverence, that kind of humility, that

462
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 1: kind of introduction to it, you start reading those pages

463
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 1: and you go that story actually sounds similar to me.

464
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 1: I mean, these guys were persecuted and they suffered, and

465
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 1: they went through loss, and they went through terrible things.

466
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: But God didn't stop it. He delivered them through it.

467
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 1: And there's a big difference when you get delivered through

468
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 1: the fire. Could he stop it? He could, he could,

469
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,880
Speaker 1: But what would you get out of it? What would

470
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: anyone get if the fire stopped. It's so much more

471
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: powerful to say he guided me through it, through the flames,

472
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: as the building was burning, He took me through it,

473
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: and we made it all the way. He delivered me.

474
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: And you learn so much more about yourself and about humanity.

475
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: Because I imagine a world that's in perfect bliss, there's nothing,

476
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with it. How would you ever see good?

477
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: How would good even exist? How would you know what

478
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: a good day was if you didn't have a bad day,

479
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: How would you know how beautiful the sunshine is, or

480
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 1: how would you know how if it rained every day

481
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: you would even know that there was a beautiful sunshine,

482
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: or vice versa. But without that contrast. I heard it

483
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: put this one time. It was put this way. Evil

484
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: is evil of the earth. Is like the cancer in

485
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: the body. But the body exists before the cancer. If

486
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: you take away the cancer, you still have a body,

487
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: and it's a healed body. But if you take away

488
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: the body, there is no cancer. It doesn't exist. Evil

489
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: doesn't exist without the goods. You have to have the good.

490
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: So there's good in your world and there's evil in

491
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: your world. But as soon as you realize that, and

492
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: you go reverently to that word and just say, God,

493
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: take I don't want this anymore. I don't want to

494
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: deal with this anymore. I can't. I want to take

495
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: it to you. Give me that hunger and then watch

496
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: the power. Watch that super actual power come over you.

497
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: Some of you are listening on this is this is mumbo, jentlemen.

498
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: This is getting weird for me. Okay, it happened to me,

499
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: It happened to Chad, it happened to a lot of people,

500
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: and and and there's there's evidence of this throughout history,

501
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: because there is a power in that word, and he

502
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: will deliver you through it, and then your story will

503
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: become your power through it, like your story what you've

504
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: gone through becomes your testimony, which becomes so powerful to others.

505
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: There's somebody else out there, DJ that's going through similar

506
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: things to you, And if you get in and get

507
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: into the word and be and are delivered through the flames,

508
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: then you could turn to that person and go, I

509
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: can get you. I could help you. I could show you.

510
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm one beggar telling another beggar where the bread is,

511
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,959
Speaker 1: and I could tell you where the bread is going

512
00:30:52,000 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: to take quick break bear Back decompressed. The podcast today

513
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: with mister Chad is brought to you by EE Apparel.

514
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: I just talked to Parker and he said, make sure

515
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: you tell everybody that we're restocking leggings. I guess those

516
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: are really really popular, and they were out of stock

517
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: for a long time after the last launch. They're back

518
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: in stock. So I never thought that this apparel company

519
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: would have popular leggings. That's not really what I thought

520
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: when we first started selling hats and t shirts. But

521
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: evidently leggings are super popular. And ours. Amber had worked

522
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: a long time to find the exact kind of leggings

523
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: that girls like, and that the right material they I

524
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: guess the material last forever. Apparently this is all coming

525
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 1: from Amber because she tested so many different kinds before

526
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 1: they manufactured the exact kind that she liked. And I

527
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: guess there's a certain way that they could make these

528
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: that actually fit right too. I mean maybe like the

529
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: waist doesn't come up too high or not too low,

530
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: and like the ankles or the nice length. Though apparently

531
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 1: they're back in stock and they're doing they're really popular,

532
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: so I want to tell you about that. I also

533
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: want to tell you that with Father's Day coming up,

534
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 1: we just went outside and Parker showed me we have

535
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: a new Father's Day shirt. It's called Top Dad and

536
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: it's pretty cool. I was talking to Parker and I

537
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: was like, this is actually the perfect gift for someone

538
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: that's looking to buy dad something that's ayee fan and

539
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: they don't know what else to get them. Maybe dad

540
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: has everything. Well, this is an an exclusive shirt to

541
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one that's a top Dad shirt that it

542
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: looks really cool and I think your dad's going to

543
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: like it. I don't think dads are going to go

544
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: just buy it on their own. But I think it's

545
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: the perfect gift for a kid or a teen or

546
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: a young adult, or a wife or a parent to

547
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: buy their kid. That's a dad this shirt. So I

548
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: want to tell you about that. Also, as always, if

549
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 1: you need to get a hold of me, if you

550
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: want to hear from me personally, then you can go

551
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: to Cameo dot Com. It's also an app called Cameo

552
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: c am Eo. It's a great way to connect with me.

553
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: You could get me to say anything on a video message,

554
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: and it's a video message specific to you. So it

555
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: could be a birthday or happy anniversary, or congratulations or

556
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you're going through this, whatever it might be.

557
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: You have done all different kinds. I could even do

558
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: a cameo to you if you just want one for yourself.

559
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: I've seen those two Cameo dot com or the app

560
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: Cameo search for Granger Smith. I'm easy to find and

561
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: I'll get you back to the podcast with Chad. All right,

562
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: Chad digging in here. We have food for thought, belief,

563
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: we have a please help getting married? How about we

564
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: do that one? Okay, you do a lot of marriage counseling.

565
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: That's one of your mini specialties. If you guys have

566
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: an email, I always say that if you have a question,

567
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Anything you want

568
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: to ask, We have Chad Warren. Today's awesome at answering

569
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 1: these questions. So this one says I had to grangeur.

570
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: My name is Bryce, I'm thirty years old. I live

571
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: in Spring, Texas. I'm a fellow Aggie class of twenty thirteen. Whoop.

572
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: I wanted to you guys make noises. We make noises. Yeah.

573
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to start by saying thank you. Your music

574
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: has been a light for me during some dark times.

575
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: Thank you buddy so much. That means a lot. It says,

576
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. I've been in a

577
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: relationship with a woman of my dreams for a little

578
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: over four years. We recently got engaged when I proposed

579
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: on New Year's on top of enchanted rock. Her family

580
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 1: loves me and my family loves her. Do you have

581
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: any practical advice for us leading up to the wedding

582
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: and for when we become newlyweds? Can you help Can

583
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: you help them with that? Jed uh, Yeah, I have

584
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: a few things that I tell couples in your exact situation,

585
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: if I would encourage you to consider pre marital counseling,

586
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: And that doesn't imply that somehow, you guys, there's you know,

587
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: your relationship is broken, but it is. There are a

588
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: lot of pastors and folks that do that where they

589
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 1: help a couple prior to marriage just think through and

590
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: ask questions that are going to help them process through

591
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: stuff so that when they they become one and they

592
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 1: start sharing life together and in the same house and

593
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: sharing the same breath, and they're they're just sharing time

594
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 1: and everything, they've wrestled through some of those major areas

595
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: of life where and they have some common ground and

596
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: some clarity on what that's going to look like. So

597
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: I always like to ask couples question like if you're

598
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: if you were to close your eyes and you know

599
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: you're you're ninety five years old and your marriage is

600
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: wildly successful, what does it look like? What what are

601
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: the who's around you? Who do you see in the

602
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: picture at that point? What what are those people experiencing

603
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: Because your marriage has been so successful and that what

604
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: that helps you kind of gain an understanding a vision

605
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: of picture of where this thing could end up and

606
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 1: then you work back from there. Okay, if that's where

607
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 1: we want to be, and it's helpful for a couple

608
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 1: to think, do their pictures line up? Do you see

609
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: the same thing when you think that many years down

610
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: the road and success in marriage has occurred. Because if

611
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: you don't have the same picture of what this thing

612
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 1: looks like when it's successful, that's a great topic to converse,

613
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: you know, and think through and process through as a couple.

614
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 1: But if you do have pretty similar vision for what

615
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: success in marriage would look like, and then you work

616
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: your way back to okay, then what can we do

617
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: every day? If we were to wake up and do

618
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,800
Speaker 1: one thing that would help us move in that direction,

619
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: what would that be? What would it look like for

620
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: us to every day go okay, if I just do

621
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: this every day, then that's going to start to help me.

622
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: And then developing some common ground on the area of kids.

623
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: Do we want to have kids, how many do we

624
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: schooling of kids, discipline of kids, working through how are

625
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: we going to make decisions? What if one of you

626
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: gets a job somewhere else and one of you loves

627
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: your job here, how do you make decisions that are

628
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 1: going to affect and so understanding what is your overall Yes,

629
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: what's that long term vision? Where do you want to

630
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: head with with this thing? And that's going to help

631
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: you in those decision times. So those are just a

632
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: few things. Is there a resource online resource with what

633
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,439
Speaker 1: you're kind of what you're saying and some of those

634
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: those questions, those are all great things. Yeah, I'm sure

635
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: there are online resources for that. Yeah. These are things

636
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,720
Speaker 1: that I've just kind of developed as I've worked with couples.

637
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: And there's a book out there. What's it called. I

638
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: think it's by it's by John Piper, He's a pastor

639
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: here in the US, and I think it's called Preparing

640
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: for Marriage and he has some very helpful things to

641
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: consider it as a couple. And in the back, actually

642
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 1: there's a long list of questions to kind of think

643
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: through as a couple as you're preparing for marriage. So

644
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: I would say that I would say everything Chad said,

645
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: put your effort there and not on the flowers and

646
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: the band and the arrangements of the wedding. That stuff.

647
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: It's cool, but it just goes You'll just fly right by.

648
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: You know, you're not even going to really even notice

649
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: it because it's it's just a blink of an eye.

650
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: And I know it's important to her, and I know

651
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: it's important to a lot of people. But focus on

652
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: what Chad's saying, those relationship building things, those things that

653
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: really matter. I mean, we're looking at a world that

654
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: gets divorced, what fifty percent of the time though, or

655
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: something like that, So I think you could say that

656
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 1: fifty of those divorces all had really awesome ceremonies. Yeah,

657
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: and a lot of really cool flowers. So we have

658
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: to focus on what matters. The world depends on it

659
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: right now. So thank you, Bryce, buddy, thank you for emailing.

660
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: Let's talk about what do you think trouble with girls

661
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 1: work decision. We have a couple of I need some advice.

662
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: We have alcoholic veteran needs help. In all caps, it's

663
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: so hard to go through some of these and yeah,

664
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: imagine one of them that was really important. We'll get

665
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: to all of them eventually. Guys, work decision, it seems

666
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: like a topic that's kind of more diverse. Says Hey Granger.

667
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: It's Jen from Maryland and I need help. I have

668
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: a job making thirty dollars an hour, but now I

669
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 1: have a county job with benefits. I'm sorry, I'm trying

670
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: to read this right, but now I have a county

671
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: job with benefits. Retirement is available for twenty five an hour.

672
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: The thirty dollars job has me waiting on a clearance.

673
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: What should I do? I never burn a bridge, and

674
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: both offer me opportunities. I'm thinking of the long haul,

675
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: but I fear of change, so let me. I work

676
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: through these as you guys hear them, so I don't

677
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: rewrite these. I apologize for what I'm saying here, but

678
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: let me read this. I have a job making thirty

679
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: dollars an hour. Okay, okay, I got it. I got it.

680
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: I have a job make it thirty dollars an hour.

681
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 1: But now a county job with benefits is available for me.

682
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,919
Speaker 1: So there's job for the current job, and there's job

683
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 1: B the potential available for twenty five. So we're looking

684
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 1: at one for less money, but it has retirement available

685
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: and it has benefits. It's a county job. So she's saying,

686
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to burn a bridge, and I like

687
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: both opportunities, and I'm thinking about the long haul, but

688
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: the fear of change is within me. Thank you, Jen.

689
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: Thanks shout out to Marylyn. Sometimes I look back on

690
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: these podcasts and I'm like, can you even read Granger?

691
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: But I'm to be with you sometimes sometimes, y'all, I

692
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: just read it the way you sent it to me.

693
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: You were just in the locker room a lot, but

694
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: in the library. Oh was it learning how to read

695
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: very well? Jen? This this question, I think you answered it.

696
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 1: I think you say I'm in it for the long haul,

697
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: so I think you're you're probably wanting to go to

698
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: it sounds like what is more stable with benefits and

699
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 1: a retirement package available for five dollars less an hour.

700
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 1: I'd be curious to know if that five dollars an

701
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: hour doesn't kind of work itself out in the fact

702
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: that one has benefits and one doesn't, because I wonder

703
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: how much you're having to invest in retirement and health

704
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: insurance and whatever, dental and vision and all kinds of

705
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: other benefits that come with it. I would have to

706
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: think there you could do kind of a cost benefit

707
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: versus you know, And I don't think there's anything wrong

708
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: with being completely honest with your current boss. You say

709
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 1: you don't want to burn a bridge. I don't think

710
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 1: there's anything wrong with you walking in there and just saying,

711
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: mister boss, I need to tell you something. I love

712
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: this job and I appreciate the opportunity. I want to

713
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: tell you about a new offer I got that i'm

714
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 1: considering taking. And here it is. I say this in

715
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 1: complete respect to you and this job, and I don't

716
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: want to burn a bridge, but I'm trying to do

717
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: what's best for me and my family right now. Maybe

718
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 1: you could help me with this or help me to understand,

719
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: but I appreciate this opportunity. It's just complete vulnerable honesty

720
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: with your boss. It's not gonna it shouldn't burn a bridge,

721
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: and if it does, he's not the right boss anyway. Right,

722
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: Let's just let's be honest. And I would say, follow

723
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: your gut and take option too. That's from what I

724
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: could see here. I think that's I think that's where

725
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna go. That's good cheating brother in law to

726
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 1: the first this is hey, Granger and guest, it's kind

727
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: of disrespectful to you, Chad. I believe well, I am

728
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 1: a guest. I am a guest. I'm okay with that.

729
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: So they'll keep my name confidential. In this topic. But

730
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: here's the issue I'm struggling with. I have a close

731
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: friend with my brother in law. I have a close

732
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: friendship with my brother in law, and sometimes it's too

733
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 1: close for my comfort. He has told me about the

734
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: times he's cheated on his wife with my wife's sister

735
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: while I reach out while I'm out on a bachelor

736
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 1: party trips, or while he's out of bachelor party trips

737
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: and out of town. I'm sorry for my reading today.

738
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: It's getting worse. My brother in law and his wife

739
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 1: have had They have two kids together under five. It

740
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: hurts me deep inside as I find his actions completely unacceptable,

741
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: and I don't want to I don't want to be

742
00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: the one to say something. I am on a open

743
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: with my wife and told her about a recent trip

744
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: he told me about, and now she is stressing me

745
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: out on how to handle this as well. We don't

746
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,439
Speaker 1: want to be the bearer of bad news and cause

747
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: a train wreck. But it also hurts us to know

748
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,280
Speaker 1: this kind of information without saying anything, and she finds

749
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 1: out more than likely. If she finds out more than likely,

750
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: he will know immediately who said something. So I do

751
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: worry about trying to save my brother in law from

752
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: hating me or telling my sister in law what I

753
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,720
Speaker 1: feel she should know. Give it to me campfire style,

754
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: would you? Jason? I like that campfire style. I mean, Chad,

755
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:45,879
Speaker 1: you're you're you're good at this. You're good at this.

756
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,240
Speaker 1: So I'm glad you're my guest today. I'm serious, I'm serious.

757
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: I don't exactly know what to say, but I know

758
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: that you probably do. Can we recap this real quick? Yeah?

759
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: So what I've heard is we've the writer here who

760
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: has submitted the question. He's got a good friendship with

761
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 1: his brother in law, and through that friendship, the brother

762
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: in law has confided in him times that the brother

763
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 1: in law has been unfaithful with the wife the brother

764
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: in law's wife. Okay, so he's cheated on his wife, yeah,

765
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 1: and he's confided in our Yes, And it sounds like

766
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 1: multiple times, because they said while out on a Bauchler

767
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: of party trips or out of town, so it sounds

768
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: like multiple partners, multiple Okay, So there's yeah. I can't

769
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: get the sense whether it's just happened in the past

770
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: and it's no longer a thing, or there's this it

771
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 1: sounds like because there's an upcoming trip or a recent

772
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: trip that there's a potential that this is kind of

773
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: a thing, this is an ongoing thing, And so the

774
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: dilemma is save face with this guy, save the friendship,

775
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 1: or tell your wife's sister and ruin your relationship with

776
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 1: him and cause a bunch of ruffled feathers in the family.

777
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: That's the decision. Yeah, I would say there's a couple

778
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 1: of things to consider. The the what's of higher value?

779
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: Is it this friendship that you have with the brother

780
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: in law? Is that of highest value? Is is it

781
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: the kind of the veil of a healthy marriage that

782
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: they seem to have, which they do not have a

783
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: healthy marriage? If this is a ongoing thing, and is

784
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 1: that something that you want to help facilitate, because right

785
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: now you are now aware of the dysfunction, and now

786
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: as you determined to be silent about it, then you

787
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 1: are going to help your helping to facilitate the veil

788
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 1: of something that seems healthy, but is it incredibly destructive underneath?

789
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 1: And so you've got to determine what's the highest priority here.

790
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: And my encouragement is, as hard as it may be,

791
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: confront your brother in law about it. This is camp

792
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 1: fire style. Okay, it doesn't mean it's easy, but confront

793
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: the brother in law about this infidelity and that he

794
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: comes clean with his wife. And you can even put

795
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: a timeline, like you need to tell her by such

796
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 1: and such time, or I'm going to because if ten

797
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: twenty thirty years down the road it all comes to light,

798
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 1: Because it most likely will, something will happen to where

799
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: she becomes aware and when she finds out that you've

800
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 1: known all along, imagine that condition. Good point. That is

801
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 1: not a situation that you can you can defend. Good point.

802
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 1: I love that answer, and I'm supporting it fully. Yeah,

803
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: I hadn't thought about that, because it will come to light.

804
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: You're right. We see this play out. Either he'll slip up,

805
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: or his conscience will make him feel so guilty you

806
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: can't stand it anymore, or she'll catch him. And it

807
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: sounds like it's even having an impact on your marriage

808
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 1: because your wife is starting to put pressure on you.

809
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 1: His wife wants it to come to light. Yeah, it's

810
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: her sister. Yeah absolutely, And so as you continue to

811
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:35,399
Speaker 1: harbor this darkness and not walk in the light and

812
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 1: not be truthful about it, it is going to have

813
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 1: an impact on you. It will affect your marriage, and

814
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 1: it's just going to be something that's there in festering

815
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: and growing and when it comes to light, you're going

816
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: to be on the hook. Yeah, you have to. You

817
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 1: can't defend why you've you've harbored that. I love that, Chad.

818
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: And and here's say, here's a big factor to this too.

819
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 1: And I like how you say put a deadline on it. Well,

820
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: here's part of your deadline. There's two kids under the

821
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 1: age of five that don't understand this yet, and in

822
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 1: three or four or five more years they will fully

823
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 1: understand this. So I think you need to look at

824
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: it is that this is a ticking clock to keep

825
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 1: these kids from from understanding right now and not finding

826
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: out real time when they're you know, my daughter's nine.

827
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 1: She fully understands the world at age nine. So I

828
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: would put I would put a time constraint on protecting

829
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: these kids. I mean that these kids are going to

830
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 1: be hurt, it's some some way, but we could we

831
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: could limit that pain on them if we deal with

832
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: this quickly and not let it happen. Because he got

833
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,240
Speaker 1: caught and the kids hear about it and they understand

834
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: or it happens more and more times, or somebody gets pregnant.

835
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 1: You know, there's there's a million other little avenues we

836
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: could chase here. But I would go back. I would

837
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: on this podcast, I would go rewind rewind rewind and

838
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: go back to what Chad said and just do that.

839
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:13,319
Speaker 1: That's really good. There's there's too much at stake, and

840
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 1: I think I think that all the things that are

841
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: at stake outweigh maintaining a nice cordial relationship with your

842
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:25,240
Speaker 1: brother in law. And man to man, if he holds

843
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: that against you, that's his problem. But man de man,

844
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:34,399
Speaker 1: he should he should value that because you're not You're

845
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 1: not saying the sky is purple here. You're saying something

846
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,880
Speaker 1: that is That is normal for a friend to say, Hey, buddy,

847
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: you're going on the wrong path. Turn around, come back,

848
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: you know, And I'm not going to say it. You're

849
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: gonna say it to her, right, I'm not going to

850
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,760
Speaker 1: go tell your sister, my sister in law. You're gonna

851
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 1: say it, and I will. I will stand behind you

852
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: as a friend, but I'm gonna make you walk this direction.

853
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 1: I think that's great. Yeah, yeah, anything easy, like what's

854
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: my favorite cereal? What is your favorite cereal chain. Well,

855
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: it's evolved over the years, but I was a Lucky

856
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: Charms guy back in the day. Yeah, now I'm a

857
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 1: little sure. Yeah. Do you have one cheat day or

858
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 1: out of a year? Maybe Thanksgiving? Uh not really? You

859
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: don't eat Mama's pie on Thanksgiving? Well, so we found

860
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 1: a really good sugar free pumpkin pie recipe. So and

861
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 1: it's it's not for everybody, but yeah, another story for

862
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: another time. But going through cancer and having to kind

863
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 1: of navigate the nutritional components and kind of yeah, how

864
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: to recover from the treatment, I realized it's not worth it.

865
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 1: So if you had a little bit of sugar right now,

866
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: it would just send you through the roof. It would

867
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 1: probably be bouncing with crazy probably. Yeah, okay, yeah I

868
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 1: like that. Man, I love that. Here's the dude that

869
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: answers questions on the podcast and lives it. You know,

870
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: you're gonna tell somebody to do something. Hey, you don't

871
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: even have sugar. So yeah, but it's so yeah, maybe

872
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 1: the what my favorite cereal? That is too complicated? So

873
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 1: what is it? Now? I mean, I don't eat cereal?

874
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 1: You just don't. I don't. I could There is a

875
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: new Cereal Amber just bought it. It's called I think

876
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 1: it's called Magic Spoon. Hastag not sponsored, but I've been

877
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: eating it lately and it's really good. There's no sugar. Okay,

878
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,840
Speaker 1: it's really good. Maybe they should be a sponsor. Maybe

879
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: it's it's really good. Yeah, let's we've got time for

880
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: one more. Let'sknock out one more here, and I'm gonna

881
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: leave this up to you. Actually, you got your buddy

882
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,399
Speaker 1: Alex here. We're gonna leave this up to Alex. He's

883
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: been off camera and an off microphone, but he is

884
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: working on a future podcast that Chad will be on

885
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 1: and Granger is going to be my first I'll be

886
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 1: happy to be a guest on it. So Alex is

887
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: in the corner. It's actually related to you'd brought up

888
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:15,760
Speaker 1: you'd encourage one of our question askers to start reading

889
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 1: the Bible. Yeah, and that's what this podcast is gonna be.

890
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: It's gonna be good. It's gonna be I can't wait. Yeah,

891
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 1: So some days you'll come here and then we'll just

892
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 1: both drive over to So Alex, I'm gonna leave this

893
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 1: up to you. Since you've kind of been in the

894
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 1: corner and no one can see you or hear you,

895
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,399
Speaker 1: but you're gonna shout out what you want. We got

896
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 1: beliefs slash food for thought. We have advice, random question,

897
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: the trouble with girls. My wife and I are thinking

898
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 1: about moving podcast question which is always the tricky when

899
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 1: when they say that I need some advice. Alcoholic veteran

900
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: needs help, faith and friends. There you go. That's enough

901
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 1: that decision. That's up to you, buddy. The pressure is

902
00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: on you. I have one more question. The pressure is

903
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 1: on you to get the right one. All right. That's

904
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:12,839
Speaker 1: alcoholic veteran needs help. It says, hey Grange Andrew. Here,

905
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm an army vet twenty eight years old. Here's my question.

906
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 1: He actually said, here's my queue. Sounds like an army vet.

907
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 1: Here's my cue, and I hope you can help me

908
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 1: with because it's been a struggle and now affecting my life.

909
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 1: I saw I came back home from the army. I

910
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 1: never saw combat, but a lot of bad things happened

911
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 1: while in the army, one being a suicide attempt. Now

912
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 1: that I'm home, I deal with social anxiety, severe up

913
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 1: and down moods, alcoholism. I try in all caps so

914
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 1: hard to quit drinking because I feel like it makes

915
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 1: my issues worse and creates new issues. I've tried AA twice,

916
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: but no luck. I try the love and support of

917
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 1: my family. But something's missing. If you have any advice,

918
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: all caps, please help. I'm all ears. And that is

919
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,240
Speaker 1: that's a good question, and is a you're not alone.

920
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: You're not alone, Andrew. I got a feeling that there's

921
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 1: a lot of vets that could hear this and say

922
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 1: either they have gone through it, or they know somebody,

923
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: or they're in it. Right now, Chad and I are

924
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 1: going to focus on one piece of your question that

925
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 1: says something is missing. Thank you for your service to Andrew.

926
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 1: You're young, and it's guys like you putting forth that

927
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: kind of sacrifice for your life, sacrificing your time for

928
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 1: that that allows me and Chad to sit here on

929
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: this podcast and exercise our right to free speech because

930
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 1: that's ensured by guys like you. So thank you for that.

931
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: What do you think, Jed Well, I can speak personally

932
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 1: from this. My father returned from service in the army

933
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 1: from Vietnam. He was a helicopter door gunman, and he

934
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: because of the things that he had seen and experienced

935
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: in that came back a very broken man, and his

936
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:33,240
Speaker 1: coping mechanism was substance abuse, alcohol, drugs on both prescription

937
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: and illegal, and it plagued him and he lost. He

938
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 1: lost the fight, It sabotaged his marriage to my mom,

939
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 1: and so he was out of the picture and his

940
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 1: and the rest of his adult life was in and

941
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: out of rehab AA and it eventually took him. And

942
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: so the stakes are high for you, They're very high.

943
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 1: And I hope that you're in a place where you're

944
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: willing to consider it. Sounds like you've tried a lot

945
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: of things, you know, AA the love and care of

946
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 1: your family. But I think we're all in a situation

947
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 1: where we're wrestling with brokenness. And addiction can come in

948
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: different forms and in ways, and a lot of times

949
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,439
Speaker 1: we try things to deal with brokenness in our life.

950
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 1: And you've seen things and and so you're coping through

951
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: substance and it's you're finding that it's causing it to

952
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 1: be worse, right, It's it's anytime we try to respond

953
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 1: to brokenness from a broken perspective, we're going to create

954
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 1: more brokenness. It's going to compound the issue. There is

955
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 1: only one one option that I've ever seen effectively dealing

956
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 1: with brokenness, and that is when it depends about the

957
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 1: when you say something like that, right, yeah, only one thing. Okay, Okay,

958
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 1: everybody's listening. What you got, Chad. It's when we realize

959
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: we don't have an ability to fix the problem ourselves,

960
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: and we realize there is an outside source, and it's

961
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: not a human source. But when we surrender ourselves entirely

962
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 1: and fully and ask the Lord to come in and

963
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 1: fix it for us and help us, it's it's the

964
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 1: only thing that right now, there's this this desire to

965
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 1: try to fix it, to try to numb it, to

966
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: try to kind of quiet the pain and the memories

967
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 1: and whatever else, But then they're always still there when

968
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 1: the effects wear off. It's we had a previous question

969
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 1: about abuse and why would God allow that to happen,

970
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: And so there's they're plagued with the memories of that

971
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: abuse and that evil. In the same way is whatever

972
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: you're trying to cope with, it's not working. There's only

973
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: one thing that I've seen that helps somebody navigate brokenness

974
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 1: and come to a place of wholeness and health, and

975
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 1: that is Jesus Christ himself asking the Lord to come

976
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 1: and take over, and surrendering and just saying I've tried it.

977
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 1: I don't have anything else. Will you please show up?

978
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: What's my next step? I'll do whatever it takes. I'll

979
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 1: try anything that's something, that's it. I don't understand that

980
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 1: my own father, I don't think that he ever took

981
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 1: that step. I don't know. I didn't know him because

982
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 1: he wasn't around in my upbringing, but I know that

983
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 1: he never was able to get out of the habits

984
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 1: and the cycle of alcoholism. I want to say this

985
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 1: that I have seen not very much. I see so

986
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 1: much love from this podcast, but I have seen every

987
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: once in a while someone says something like stop stop

988
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 1: pushing your religion on me. And so I just want

989
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 1: to use this as an example, and Chad could look

990
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: where at the end of the femail says if you

991
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: have any advice all caps, please help. I'm all ears.

992
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: So I want to I want to make it clear

993
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: that I'm not pushing anything on anyone. I'm telling you

994
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: my honest answer from an honest plea from a man

995
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 1: that's desperate. That's saying, if you have any advice and

996
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 1: I don't have any other advice. I don't have I've

997
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:37,439
Speaker 1: not seen anything else that would would even come close

998
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 1: to helping you. I'm not pushing a religion down your throat.

999
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: I'm as I said earlier, I'm one beggar telling another

1000
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: beggar where I found bread, what satisfied my hunger that

1001
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: I needed. I don't have any other advice, and so

1002
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: I want to set that up and just say Andrew

1003
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 1: is saying, please help, and this is the way I

1004
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 1: know how. If you don't believe me, or if you

1005
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 1: don't want that from me, please know that I'm not

1006
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:06,120
Speaker 1: trying to push it down down your throat or push

1007
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 1: it on any I'm I'm just not a not a

1008
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 1: pushy person. But when I'm asked, I'm going to tell

1009
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 1: you where I have. When I've been broken in my life,

1010
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:17,479
Speaker 1: and when I've been trampled by the world, when I've

1011
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 1: been overrun by fleshly desires and worldly ambitions and crushed

1012
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 1: under grief and loss, there was only one thing. And

1013
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 1: I've tried steps, and I've tried books, and I've tried

1014
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:37,720
Speaker 1: multi step processes, and there was only one thing that

1015
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 1: delivered me peace and once again we go back to

1016
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 1: we're not getting delivered from the pain, We're getting delivered

1017
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: through it. And the promise of going through it is

1018
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 1: peace and hope and love in the midst of all that,

1019
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:59,919
Speaker 1: So that you're you're all your memories from the army

1020
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 1: don't just get erased. They don't just you don't just

1021
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 1: snap your fingers and you go, oh, they're all gone. Cool.

1022
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: I don't have to think about it anymore. Instead, you

1023
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: get into return a peace and hope and love that

1024
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: is so great that it overshadows those memories. That's the

1025
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 1: return you get from what Chad is offering here. And

1026
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 1: so what do you do? You say, what's the call

1027
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: to action? Like? Great this, great Chad, great grangel? Well

1028
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 1: what do I do you take after this podcast? And

1029
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 1: you find a quiet spot and I'm gonna repeat what

1030
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 1: I said earlier, and you get down on your knees

1031
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 1: and you go, God, I've never talked to you before,

1032
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do this anymore. I can't

1033
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: do this anymore. I've tried AA twice. I have a

1034
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 1: love and supporting family and people say that's supposed to help,

1035
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 1: but it's not. I've read books, people bring me these

1036
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 1: books about this stuff and I can't deal with it.

1037
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 1: I can't do it. God, Chad and Granger said that

1038
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 1: you are the only one that could fix it. And

1039
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 1: then you finish that prayer and you open up that

1040
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 1: Bible and you start, let's say somewhere, where would you say,

1041
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 1: start in the New Testament. I'd say either the Gospel

1042
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: of John or the Gospel of Mark. I would go

1043
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 1: there too. So you open it up to where it

1044
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:27,960
Speaker 1: says John one or Mark one, and you start right

1045
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: there at the top. You could start in Matthew one.

1046
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: You could start in any of those gospels and start reading,

1047
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: and you will find yourself in those chapters, in those pages.

1048
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 1: You'll say, I'm trying to understand this book, and I'm

1049
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 1: realizing this book understands me, and it's weird and it's

1050
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:55,880
Speaker 1: awesome and it's peace for your soul. And once that starts,

1051
01:03:55,960 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 1: once that snowball starts right back right back to the spotcast,

1052
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear from you and and know

1053
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 1: that I can't convince you of that that's a supernatural

1054
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 1: thing is And this this podcast has been all about

1055
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 1: it seems like today but we man, I know Chad

1056
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 1: does and I have sympathy for you, and Chad could

1057
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 1: directly relate to you. And no one's saying it's easy

1058
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 1: and and no one is saying there's a there's a

1059
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:30,560
Speaker 1: quick fix. But there is one fix. And I know

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01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: that you believe me because you've sounds like you've tried

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01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: a lot of other things. But there's not a book

1062
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 1: out there, there's not a YouTube class you could take.

1063
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,920
Speaker 1: There is one fix, and it's it has to come

1064
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 1: from total brokenness. And we should end the podcast with that. Amen.

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01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:49,439
Speaker 1: Thank you guys, Thank you Chad lovely brother. See you guys.

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01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I

1067
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out

1068
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:58,400
Speaker 1: by rating these podcasts on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

1069
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:01,920
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and

1070
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:05,160
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

1071
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:08,160
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

1072
01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

1073
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Ye