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Speaker 1: My fiance won't let me console my best friend after

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Speaker 1: his dad passed away. I don't know if she'll leave

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Speaker 1: me or not for doing.

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Speaker 2: This, for consoling your best friend's yeahs, your best friend

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Speaker 2: after his dad passed away?

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Speaker 1: How dare you excuse me?

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Speaker 2: Con me? Yeah, being your fiance for for you even

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Speaker 2: thinking about like not being next to me? WHOA, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I can't believe. Are you cheating on me mentally? And

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Speaker 2: that seems like emotional cheating that you would actually help

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Speaker 2: another man? Why? Why? Is?

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Speaker 1: Why is the fiance gas lighting him?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? This? I mean, have you heard about that story

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Speaker 2: about the army buddy one thing? You start talking about

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Speaker 2: his dead dad and then all of a sudden, here

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Speaker 2: we are, you know, doing the nasty together. Yep, call

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Speaker 2: back to the last story.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But we'll see if that happens here.

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Speaker 1: Somber mode. Uh, my best friend lost a parent a

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Speaker 1: year and a half ago, which led him into a

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Speaker 1: mental health crisis.

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Speaker 2: Great transition by saying somber mode. Somber mode. Really, congratulations, guys.

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Speaker 1: Our friend group has been picking up the pieces ever since.

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Speaker 2: Sorry.

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Speaker 1: In so, he's doing much better now that he's in therapy,

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Speaker 1: but he's definitely gone through it. What is complicated matters

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Speaker 1: worse is my fiance. It goes without saying that I

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Speaker 1: love her, but she is the definition of a busy body.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes, what is the definition of a busybody? Someone who

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Speaker 2: has a body that is busy? Is it a busybody?

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Speaker 2: Like you just like have to be doing something all

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Speaker 2: the time, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: And maybe like also like in everyone's kind of like

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Speaker 1: business business, maybe like, oh, I have to be like

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Speaker 1: involved everywhere. My best friend is a very private person.

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Speaker 1: She knows something happened with him, but she doesn't know

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Speaker 1: the details of what that something is. She probably never will,

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Speaker 1: but because she's around me and my friends often as

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Speaker 1: my fiance and I live in the same house, she

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Speaker 1: hears bits and pieces of the story and presses for

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Speaker 1: more information. Ah, it's a bit you know. At this point,

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Speaker 1: I'm curious, It's like, what exactly is the purpose of

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Speaker 1: withholding the information information?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that passed away?

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Speaker 1: Maybe if that was the request of the friend yeaherhaps

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Speaker 1: which is totally possible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't feel like I would probably tell my

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Speaker 2: significant other. I feel like I would, Yeah, but unless

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Speaker 2: it was specifically requested.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, if that's the case, totally together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little odd that OPEA is in okay,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, maybe it's a specific request Okay, but we

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Speaker 2: go deeper.

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Speaker 1: I try to circumvent giving her any more information as

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Speaker 1: best as I can. For example, I step out of

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Speaker 1: the room for specific phone conversations about it. But still

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Speaker 1: it's hard to limit the discussion about it. Sometimes, if

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Speaker 1: it's necessary, we bring it up, and she's a round

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Speaker 1: in person, we'll refer to the Nolan situation without giving specifics.

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Speaker 2: So they're kind of actively just.

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Speaker 1: Jumping through lots of loops to ensure no information about

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Speaker 1: it slips out, even when talking.

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Speaker 2: About and I feel like that's like an unrealistic Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just I don't know. I don't know how big

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Speaker 2: your apartment or house is. It's still I mean like yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I have I have private conversation with my

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Speaker 2: friends sometimes like hey, Arian, I gotta step out. Like

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Speaker 2: so again, so far, there's no confirmation if it was

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Speaker 2: requested yes private, or op is thinking that that I shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: That's that's the best.

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Speaker 1: Nolan will also stop by my place at night when

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Speaker 1: he can't sleep. This doesn't happen all that often, maybe

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Speaker 1: twice a month.

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Speaker 2: I feel like she has a right to know if

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Speaker 2: they're living together. But he has a vow of silence. Oh,

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Speaker 2: is there a vow of silence?

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Speaker 1: No, a vow of silence of not saying anything. He'll

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Speaker 1: text me or call me saying he's outside. I'll go

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Speaker 1: sit with him and smoke a little bit, and then

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Speaker 1: he'll head home. I'll wait up until I know he

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Speaker 1: got home safely, and then I go back to sleep.

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Speaker 1: My fiance hates this. She claims the phone calls always

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Speaker 1: wake her up. They don't. She just sometimes happens to

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Speaker 1: wake up for the bathroom while I'm outside, and that

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Speaker 1: and that me not being in bed is alarming. That

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Speaker 1: brings us to last night. Nolan stopped by, and when

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Speaker 1: I came back inside, my fiance said she was putting

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Speaker 1: a stop to it. She said all the sneaking around

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Speaker 1: is making her paranoid, and she doesn't feel like she

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Speaker 1: can properly trust me or be part of my friend

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Speaker 1: group without knowing the details, and that Nolan needs to

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Speaker 1: stop relying on me so much.

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Speaker 2: I don't agree with that last point, but I kind

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Speaker 2: of agree with the first point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I think I think the clearest line

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Speaker 1: to draw here thus far is him coming to the home. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and like not knowing, like when you're leaving the bed.

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Speaker 2: For for what? Yeah, like what's going Yeah, because like

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Speaker 2: like she wants.

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Speaker 1: To bring it to the home, she has no idea

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Speaker 1: what's going on. Yeah, this is her home too, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which is why it's like, Okay, you can have a

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Speaker 1: private conversation that's just involves the two of you, but

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Speaker 1: when you bring someone to the home that is my home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, so she has a right to know a little.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she has a right to know it

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Speaker 1: least up something, at least up to why he's stepping

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Speaker 1: out in it. I told her, no matter whether we're married, dating, whatever,

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Speaker 1: she will never have any ownership over my friend's trauma,

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Speaker 1: and that she was never going to be able to

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Speaker 1: order me around in regards to it.

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Speaker 2: That seems like a kind of intense response.

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Speaker 1: Never, never, sam never in any situation.

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Speaker 2: Like she's just like yo, like when you like leave

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Speaker 2: and at night, I don't know where you're going, and

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Speaker 2: like you're you're like talking about this mysterious thing that

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Speaker 2: I have no idea about and like, why is Nolan

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Speaker 2: always out of her house?

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Speaker 1: Great questions that can't be answered?

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Speaker 2: It was never, yeah, because never?

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, fair pair, hope he's about to add

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Speaker 1: insult to injury over here.

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Speaker 2: Not the smoothest communicator.

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Speaker 1: I also said her comfort was less important than someone's

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Speaker 1: actual physical well being. She was obviously heard by this

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Speaker 1: and went to stay with her mom after work today. Yikes,

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Speaker 1: am I the a hole? There is an edit. She

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Speaker 1: knows Nolan has lost a parent, she doesn't know the

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Speaker 1: aftermath beyond the statement that he had a mental health crisis. Yes,

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Speaker 1: he has specifically asked me not to tell her.

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Speaker 2: That is good to know.

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Speaker 1: And finally, this is not something we talk about constantly

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Speaker 1: in front of her. I'm giving examples that have happened

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Speaker 1: over the past year and a half. Also, Nolan sees

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Speaker 1: the therapist, he comes to my place to hang out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, okay, I feel like that that. I

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Speaker 2: feel like that edit actually makes it more complicated. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: so doesn't make it more complicated. He specifically asks, all right, well,

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Speaker 2: first of all, I want to know what everyone else thinks. Yes,

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Speaker 2: in the comments, what this is a story for story

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Speaker 2: number four. Story four put in the comments what do

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Speaker 2: you think? Okay, what do I think? Kind of a doozy?

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Speaker 2: It did? Yeah, the end made it more complicated and

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Speaker 2: made it more complicated. Okay, So Nolan specifically asked not

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Speaker 2: to tell her. I think that's okay. But I think

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Speaker 2: at this point he goes back to Nolan and it's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: like me keeping this secret is making like her really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: You know, do you think I could just like include

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Speaker 2: her more in the loop, you know where you're coming

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Speaker 2: over to her like our space a lot. I want

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Speaker 2: to be there and support you, and I want to

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Speaker 2: do what's right for you. I just want you to

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Speaker 2: know that this is how she's feeling. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: you go to Nolan now, Yeah, I think that's what

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Speaker 2: I would do. Also, it was like I think it

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Speaker 2: was a little bit of an a hole for how

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Speaker 2: he responded to her. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah, he's just like.

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Speaker 1: I am drawing the strongest line at like the tiniest

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Speaker 1: see the tiniest pushback, Yeah, like laying it down too thick.

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Speaker 2: I think it was tooth thick.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think Also it's just like generally like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I have to consider my partner's well being as well

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Speaker 1: in this scenario, So telling Nolan like I at least

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Speaker 1: have to start considering her emotions and being with all of.

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Speaker 2: This, and also like if he's going to be able

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Speaker 2: to to be there better for Nolan if there's yeah,

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Speaker 2: like he's being pulled, but he's just like completely ignoring

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Speaker 2: his parties.

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Speaker 1: I like, yeah, it's like tug of war. He just

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Speaker 1: like takes hissors and cuts the other one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what I would do. I

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Speaker 2: talk to Nolan, and I wouldn't have done that outburst.

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Speaker 2: That was kind of a dick move. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever been kind of stuck in a I

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Speaker 1: was trying to pick if I have.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like quite to this level. But there

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Speaker 2: are certain things that friends have told me that I

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Speaker 2: can't tell, like that you know, don't tell anyone, and

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Speaker 2: like the secrets, Like I won't tell Arianna about it.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll be like be like saying something like, oh, actually,

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Speaker 2: I can't tell you about that, and then she'll be

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Speaker 2: like can't you tell me? Yeah, this is like and

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Speaker 2: then I'll just be like I just like I can't

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Speaker 2: talk about it, and she'll like sometimes ask like but

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Speaker 2: it's like natural to be curious, like you know, and

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Speaker 2: she'll ask like some clarifying questions and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I just can't say anything, and then she'll she'll drop it.

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Speaker 2: But it's kind of naturally humans are curious people. It's

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Speaker 2: natural to ask like a followup question. But if I was, like,

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Speaker 2: you do not own my friends trauma? Yeah, can't see

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Speaker 2: which like that would that would be ridiculous?

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Speaker 1: You know, yes, yes, oh man, that's that illustrates it perfectly.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was trying to think.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm any deep deep dark, but.

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Speaker 2: It hasn't been like consistent like this, Like I feel

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Speaker 2: like this is like yeah, yeah, you know, like this

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Speaker 2: is like it's never been like interface like consistently.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I think for me, it's more situations where

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Speaker 1: it's it wasn't explicit, but I'm not sure if the

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Speaker 1: other person would want that to be shared.

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Speaker 2: So I just kind of like out of air on this.

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Speaker 1: You're on the side of caution for the for the

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Speaker 1: other But nothing nothing really really huge.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, everything though is like I mean, like I think,

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Speaker 2: I like, like when I tell one of my friends something,

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Speaker 2: I usually I like assume I almost like assume that

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Speaker 2: they tell their partner. Yeah, I think I agree the

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Speaker 2: like I think like some people have things with their

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Speaker 2: part like no secrets between us, however, yeah unless I

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Speaker 2: specifically request, Yeah, then I don't think that. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think it's like it's I think it's a little

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Speaker 2: unrereasonable to like keep her in the dark that long,

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Speaker 2: especially when she's confronted with it on a routine basis.

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Speaker 2: It's the home coming to the home. It's where it's

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Speaker 2: just I think, like she and then then she could

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Speaker 2: be understanding if she just knew. Yeah, just so you

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Speaker 2: don't breach any friend contract, like talk to Nolan about this.

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Speaker 2: But and I'm sure he would be understanding. I think so,

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Speaker 2: or maybe he like maybe just everyone like hates the

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Speaker 2: girlfriend and like what.

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Speaker 1: If OPI is like low key like using this to

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Speaker 1: just like drive a wedge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I need a way out of this. It happens,

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Speaker 2: it does, But you know what else happens? What another

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Speaker 2: story you got for me? Got a story about some

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Speaker 2: candid honesty actually, where a family member says that no

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Speaker 2: one likes you to another family member. Let's get candid