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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: If they've told me ABC and D or how they

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Speaker 2: want to show up as a partner and they're not

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Speaker 2: doing those things, that's an opportunity to seek clarity. Because

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Speaker 2: if they're saying they're not willing to do those things

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Speaker 2: with you, but they know that those are what they

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Speaker 2: want to do as a partner.

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Speaker 3: You ain't it.

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Speaker 1: Boot.

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Speaker 2: It's time to move on because they don't want you

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Speaker 2: as a partner. Hey, lady, have you ever felt like

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Speaker 2: the world just doesn't get you? Well, we do.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 2: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

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Speaker 2: women to just b Before.

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Speaker 1: We dive in, make sure you hit that follow button

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Speaker 1: and leave us a quick five star review.

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Speaker 3: Lady.

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Speaker 1: We are black founded and black owned, and your support

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Speaker 1: will help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 2: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

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Speaker 2: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

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Speaker 2: and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

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Speaker 2: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 2: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 2: U E B R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 2: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 2: forward to hearing from you.

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Speaker 3: Our quote of the day.

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Speaker 2: Every person you date reflects something back to you, not

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Speaker 2: to judge you, but to show you where you've healed,

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Speaker 2: where you're still growing, and where you're ready to choose differently. Ooh, lady,

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Speaker 2: that was a mouthful, and I need to say it

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Speaker 2: again for the folks in the back to make sure

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Speaker 2: we all heard it. Every person you date reflects something

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Speaker 2: back to you, not to judge you, but to show

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Speaker 2: you where you've healed, where you're still growing, and where

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Speaker 2: you're ready to choose differently. All right, te You know

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Speaker 2: how we do When you heard that quote. As you're

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Speaker 2: listening to that quote, I know it was coming up

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Speaker 2: for me. What was coming up for you?

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Speaker 1: Girl? I love this quote so much and I think

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Speaker 1: It's a great grounding quote for our conversation and to

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Speaker 1: be honest, when you are reading it, I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: would say every person you interact with, that's my thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Like it doesn't even have to be on your date,

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Speaker 1: it could be anyone. And I love that this quote

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Speaker 1: is not centering the learnings that we get I interact

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Speaker 1: with others around judgment, because I think it's easy sometimes

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Speaker 1: when you get triggered or somebody do some shit and

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Speaker 1: you're like, I'm about to I'm ready to fight, or

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Speaker 1: I thought some type of way we judge ourselves. But

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Speaker 1: I like that we're kind of The quote to me

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Speaker 1: is reminding us to take it as information and understanding. Go, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just looking in the mirror to see where I'm

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Speaker 1: at and what I might want to do differently. You

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Speaker 1: know what comes up for you when you hear it.

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Speaker 2: So for me too, a couple of things came up, right,

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Speaker 2: like what you said about the being needing to be

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Speaker 2: gentle with ourselves around it's data, right, and that and

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Speaker 2: let's move remove some of the emotion from it and

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Speaker 2: look at the information that it's revealing. And then as

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Speaker 2: I had that thought, then I started going through the

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Speaker 2: mental rollodex of my exes of like, oh what okay,

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Speaker 2: so yeah, no, what did each of those relationships reveal

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Speaker 2: for me? Right?

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, this is going to be a juice one.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited. So lady, today's conversation it's really for the

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Speaker 1: woman who's dating with intention, right, you may be able

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Speaker 1: to get value out of it even if you're not.

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Speaker 1: But the reason we want to say this is because

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Speaker 1: if you're in a season of having fun and you're

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Speaker 1: just out there doing anything you outside, you're exploring, this

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Speaker 1: may not necessarily be the information that you're looking for

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Speaker 1: right now because you're not taking anything seriously right, So

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Speaker 1: it may not fully resonate, but it still may be

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Speaker 1: valuable to you. So just take a listen and see

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Speaker 1: if it connects with you. Now, if you're in a

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Speaker 1: season where you're dating to learn to grow or with

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Speaker 1: the possibility of partnership in mind, and this conversation is

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Speaker 1: definitely for you, because dating is more than just getting

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Speaker 1: to know someone. Dating, as we say, is like it's

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Speaker 1: a mirror, right. It reveals your boundaries, your self worth,

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Speaker 1: your patterns, youre healing what may need to be healed

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Speaker 1: more right, It shows you what you're working through and

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Speaker 1: also you know what you're still working on.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, and I think as we talk about

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Speaker 2: these mirrors, right, like dating being a mirror, I think

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Speaker 2: again it's important to acknowledge the emotions that may come up,

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Speaker 2: but initially focus on the data. Focus on the information,

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Speaker 2: because then that'll help you determine your next steps. And

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Speaker 2: when you focus on the data, part of those next

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Speaker 2: steps is questions that you can ask about yourself, but

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Speaker 2: also questions that you may want to ask this potential

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Speaker 2: partner that will reveal things about their character as well.

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Speaker 1: And those are going to be coming up. So we

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Speaker 1: got some questions for you and some reflection and points

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Speaker 1: for yourself as well. So stay tuned until the end.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna get good.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And so we keep mentioning dating acting as a mirror.

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Speaker 2: So let's talk a little bit real quick about like

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Speaker 2: mirror theory. So we've already stated it, but just so

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Speaker 2: that we're clear. Mirror theory is this suggestion that our

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Speaker 2: romantic partners reflect our internal state. So it shows us

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Speaker 2: what we've healed, where growth is still needed, and perhaps

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Speaker 2: areas where we need to set better boundaries. Right, sometimes

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Speaker 2: these mirrors reveal not sometimes all the time, these mirrors

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Speaker 2: reveal are conscious and some of our unconscious beliefs that

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Speaker 2: we weren't yet aware of. Right, it also highlights our triggers,

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Speaker 2: our patterns, and some unacknowledged needs. So again, that mirror

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Speaker 2: is providing you with information. So just like when you

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Speaker 2: are getting dressed, right, you're getting ready for work in

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Speaker 2: the morning, and you've put on the outfit and you're

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Speaker 2: trying to decide is this the outfit that I want

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Speaker 2: to wear? And you take a look in the mirror,

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Speaker 2: and in the mirror you are getting information, how's your hair,

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Speaker 2: how's your makeup, how's the outfit?

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Speaker 3: In general?

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Speaker 2: Right, your looking at yourself and getting data, and based

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Speaker 2: on the data that's being reflected to you, you decide

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Speaker 2: what you want to do next. You might need to

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Speaker 2: make an adjustment to your hair. You might need to

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Speaker 2: change that shirt because it's not flowing with that skirt.

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Speaker 2: And so dating is similar. We get the information reflected

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Speaker 2: back to us and we decide what to do with it.

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Speaker 1: Oh girl, as you were saying that, I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about all these different scenarios, but one of the other

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Speaker 1: things I wanted to emphasize is that sometimes when we

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Speaker 1: have this conversation, when people have the conversation about dating

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Speaker 1: being a mirror, they think about like negative situations. But

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about one of the most positive, healthiest

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Speaker 1: relationships I had ever been in, and you know, in

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Speaker 1: that situation, I also had triggers come up, Like even

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Speaker 1: though it was a great, healthy relationship, it was like

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Speaker 1: I was still seeing certain things that brought me back

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Speaker 1: to a previous time where someone else may have done

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Speaker 1: something and it was showing me something. And so the

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Speaker 1: thing is we all have areas for improvement, Like even

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Speaker 1: even if you're with someone and you're noticing all these

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Speaker 1: red flags, like, we always have stuff to work on

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Speaker 1: as well. So it's not always about pointing the finger

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Speaker 1: at the other person. It's about again being reflective and

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Speaker 1: looking in that mirror and getting that data and then

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Speaker 1: deciding what we're going to do. So, speaking of should

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Speaker 1: we dive into these questions, let's do it. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: excited about this questions. So what we're going to do

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Speaker 1: now is just share some questions that you can ask

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Speaker 1: someone that you're considering dating or while you're on the date,

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Speaker 1: on the phone, whatever it is. Ask this person these

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Speaker 1: questions just to understand more about their character, because I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes people they be frighting right, Like they say

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Speaker 1: one thing like that's another thing I learned in dating,

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Speaker 1: and this was like a new thing for me because

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Speaker 1: I don't show up this way. People may say one

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Speaker 1: thing and do another. So it's like ask the question,

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Speaker 1: get the information, but also watch the actions. That was

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Speaker 1: like a very big realization to me. And someone's saying, Oh,

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Speaker 1: you're important to me, you mean so much to me.

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Speaker 1: But the actions ain't action, and you don't see it

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Speaker 1: in action. You can't write a list down of what

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Speaker 1: and how what they said is reflected in a way

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Speaker 1: that you can write down. Then that means it doesn't

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Speaker 1: exist and they're blown smoke up your ass. Okay, right now,

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Speaker 1: I will add that like I oftentimes yes, it is

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Speaker 1: that they are. They are blowing smoke up your ass. However,

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Speaker 1: going back to those unconscious beliefs and those unconscious things

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Speaker 1: that we may be doing.

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Speaker 2: It could be that that person believes that they are

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Speaker 2: a particular way right. However, when it's put into practice

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Speaker 2: they are real They then are learning that they are

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Speaker 2: not that particular way right. So going back to your

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Speaker 2: example of that person saying communicating to you you are

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Speaker 2: important to me. That's the words that they used, you

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Speaker 2: are important to me. It very well may mean that

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Speaker 2: they very well may be well intentioned and truthfuls from

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Speaker 2: their perspective of you being important to them. But how

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Speaker 2: they show so the actions that you pointed out right,

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Speaker 2: how they show that they're important to you may differ

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Speaker 2: from what you believe is showing importance and what they

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Speaker 2: thought was showing importance. Right, Yes, So for you, showing

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Speaker 2: that you are important may look like answering the phone

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Speaker 2: every time you call, every time they call you, right,

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Speaker 2: being willing to move things around in your schedule to

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Speaker 2: accommodate them. Low KEI, that sounds like people pleasing. That's

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Speaker 2: something that we need to address. But for them, showing

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Speaker 2: that you're important means that they consult you before making

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Speaker 2: a decision about the plans for the date, right that,

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Speaker 2: or before they make plans for their weekend, that they

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Speaker 2: make sure that you're the last person they talk to

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Speaker 2: before they go to sleep at night, no matter how

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Speaker 2: busy their day has been. Right. And so what we're

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Speaker 2: seeing is the information is that you two aren't aligned

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Speaker 2: on what demonstrates importance.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much down and I think in

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Speaker 1: those situations it's so key to have a conversation to

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Speaker 1: align on that and be able to just make it transparent,

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Speaker 1: because there are situations where someone can be being malicious

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Speaker 1: and they can be saying one thing and trying to

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Speaker 1: manipulate you because I'm thinking of a particular pay Listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about a particular guy. When you share that,

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Speaker 1: I'm like this mother was saying, Oh, we're going to

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Speaker 1: do this, do that, and wouldn't follow through. But then

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Speaker 1: there was another guy who thought he was showing up

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Speaker 1: in a certain way. But I had to communicate is

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Speaker 1: that we have mismatched ideas on what that looks like

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Speaker 1: in action. So I appreciate you making that distinction. That

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Speaker 1: is sel Trope. Okay, let's get into these questions. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So the first question here is what did your last

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Speaker 1: relationship teach you about yourself? I love this question because

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Speaker 1: what it does. Listen, it reveals self awareness and accountability. Now,

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Speaker 1: in my opinion, if you ask, I mean it could

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Speaker 1: be your last relationship or what has any past relationship

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Speaker 1: talked about yourself? I think the learning here is seeing

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Speaker 1: again how reflective the person is if they're self aware,

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Speaker 1: or if they're going to put the blame on everyone else,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And people like I was

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Speaker 1: telling Don before we started recording, there was a guy

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Speaker 1: that I was considering. You know, I went on a

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Speaker 1: date and we were talking and one of the questions

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Speaker 1: I asked him I was about humility, and it was

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Speaker 1: just in general, like he had said something about, you know,

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Speaker 1: he's this alpha male and beating on his chest, he

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Speaker 1: like had that type of vibe, and he said something

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Speaker 1: about how he struggled with humility, and I was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: what did you do to like work on that? And

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Speaker 1: he's like, oh, yeah, I don't really work on it.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just like I'm the smartest person in the

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Speaker 1: room and when I walk into these rooms and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. And I was just like, oh okay. And

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Speaker 1: in my mind, I was like, never again, because that

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Speaker 1: type of energy, that character is going to bleed over

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Speaker 1: into aspects of the relationship and I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: I don't want none of that smoke. I don't want

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Speaker 1: none of it, you know.

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Speaker 3: None of it exactly.

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Speaker 2: And so and what I like about this particular question

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Speaker 2: also is that it allows people to be reflective, and

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Speaker 2: it allows you to see how they characterize themselves in retrospect,

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Speaker 2: in hindsight, and how they talk about their exes. That

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Speaker 2: there are situations and when in which an X may

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Speaker 2: be completely.

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Speaker 3: Out of pocket.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, even in those extreme cases where the ex is

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Speaker 2: completely out of pocket, there are still things in which

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Speaker 2: you will learn about yourself from that interaction. And if

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Speaker 2: your partner cannot acknowledge what they learned about themselves from

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Speaker 2: that interaction, there's some emotional maturity that needs to happen

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Speaker 2: or some self reflection that needs to take place, they

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Speaker 2: might not be ready for what's required in a healthy.

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Speaker 3: Long term dynamic.

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Speaker 1: All right.

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Speaker 2: So then that takes us to the second question, to

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Speaker 2: ask a potential partner what does a healthy relationship look

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Speaker 2: like to you? So hopefully their response will reveal to

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Speaker 2: you a certain level of emotional maturity and also at

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Speaker 2: minimum their expectations for engaging with you.

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Speaker 1: I love it, and I feel like you could also

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Speaker 1: add a little question about ginger roles in there too.

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Speaker 1: I think that's always very telling, especially with certain men.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes when you ask that question, they say it's a

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Speaker 1: wild To my opinion, it's a wild as shit, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, yeah, no that.

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Speaker 2: I have heard some answers and it's a no for me.

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Speaker 1: Dog. So that takes us to number three you, which

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Speaker 1: is what are you currently working on within yourself? This

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Speaker 1: kind of goes back to that example. I just share it, right, like,

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Speaker 1: if you have no areas when improving, be like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've worked on everything, I've done everything. Bruh. Because this

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Speaker 1: question right here it reveals growth mindset versus stagnation and

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Speaker 1: also arrogance. Right, And based on how someone answers the question,

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Speaker 1: it can just let you know I do I want

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Speaker 1: this energy in my life. I think the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: here also is how someone responds, how they show up characterized.

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Speaker 1: They often say how you do one thing is how

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Speaker 1: you do everything right. So if someone is showing up

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Speaker 1: in this way in the relationship, probably going to show

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Speaker 1: up this way in other aspects of life, right, that

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Speaker 1: will impact you as their potential partner.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I like that, And I think the piece that

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Speaker 2: I would add to that is that this particular question

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Speaker 2: for some people may be a pretty vulnerable question to ask,

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Speaker 2: and so that's also information, right. It may be that

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Speaker 2: they are not yet comfortable. So asking this on the

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Speaker 2: first date, they might not feel comfortable enough with you

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Speaker 2: to be that to take themselves to that level of vulnerability.

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Speaker 2: And so I would say in if that comes, if

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Speaker 2: that question comes up on the first date, that it's

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Speaker 2: okay to say, you know, I have things that I'm

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Speaker 2: working on. I don't feel comfortable talking about them right now,

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Speaker 2: but hopefully in the future we'll be able to dive

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Speaker 2: into this conversation.

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Speaker 1: Come, mom, eldres come on boundaries and that's healthy, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you're setting back and just met this person, like

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Speaker 1: you know what, it's a little personal and I get

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Speaker 1: to know you more, I'll definitely you know, die more

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Speaker 1: into that.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, and so then our next question, how do

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Speaker 2: you typically handle conflict? So this reveals to us as

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Speaker 2: a person's level of emotion regulation. It can also reveal

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Speaker 2: their willingness to engage, like their overall thoughts and perceptions

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Speaker 2: on conflict, right, because and asking using the word conflict.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm big on language and using the word

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Speaker 2: conflicts can often invite thoughts, negative thoughts, and negative feelings.

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Speaker 3: And so.

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Speaker 2: Again, even if it does, it's still that's still information, right,

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Speaker 2: that's still let you know how where they are in

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Speaker 2: terms of their emotions, and so whether they answer the

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Speaker 2: question in the way that you were hoping they would

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Speaker 2: or not, it's all information.

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Speaker 1: I agree, I agree, And that takes this on to

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Speaker 1: number five, which is what are your non negotiables and relationships?

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Speaker 1: And this question is always it's a fun one because

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Speaker 1: again it can reveal those some of those outdated ideas

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Speaker 1: about ginger roles, but it also reveals clarity and values,

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Speaker 1: and it can align. It can allow you to see

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Speaker 1: if you align with that person right, maybe you have

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Speaker 1: the same non negotiables, and you can also quickly identify

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Speaker 1: if you're a good fit, like are we just going

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Speaker 1: to have fun together or could this possibly be something

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Speaker 1: more long term once we get to know each other more.

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Speaker 3: And what I will add about this.

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Speaker 2: Questions as a therapist who often works with clients on

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Speaker 2: identifying their non negotiables and relationships, oftentimes what people list

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Speaker 2: as non negotiables truly are negotiables in their relationship. From

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Speaker 2: my perspective, a non negotiable is that thing that you

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Speaker 2: absolutely are not dealing with. So there should not be

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Speaker 2: a long list of things that you absolutely are not

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Speaker 2: dealing with. If someone has a long list. That is

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Speaker 2: information that is letting you know that they have a

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Speaker 2: lot of things that they think they have boundaries around

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Speaker 2: that maybe they're holding harsh judgments around or perhaps they

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Speaker 2: have not really gotten clarity on what their real values are,

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Speaker 2: or they might not have had a lot of dating experience,

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Speaker 2: particularly for those of us of a certain age.

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Speaker 3: I eat anybody over the age of thirty five.

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Speaker 2: The majority of us have had some level of dating

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Speaker 2: or have friends and family that have been through some

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Speaker 2: relationship things. And what I can tell you from the

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Speaker 2: therapist's perspective is that there are a lot of things

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Speaker 2: that people go through in relationships and they stay in

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Speaker 2: the relationship and they work it out. Very few things

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Speaker 2: are non negotiables.

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Speaker 1: That's a good one. I was looking we did an

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Speaker 1: episode about non negotiables and boundaries. I couldn't find it,

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Speaker 1: but we did something about that before. But yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a good point. And sometimes I feel like when you

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Speaker 1: meet the right person, you end up. It happens right.

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Speaker 1: You meet someone you're like, oh, I could never date

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Speaker 1: someone who does this or looks like this, or is

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Speaker 1: this age, And then you find you meet someone and

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, well, so Yeah, that's a good point.

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Speaker 1: They may even know what the non negotiables or they

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Speaker 1: may change. So that takes us to number six. Number

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Speaker 1: six is what brings you peace in your life? Right now?

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Speaker 1: I think this is a really great question to see

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Speaker 1: where their head is. And also it reveals emotional grounding.

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Speaker 1: Right I'm just thinking like if I were to ask

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Speaker 1: some that question and they were like, yeah, nothing brings

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Speaker 1: me peace, I'm just like, it's just chaos and nonsense.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel sorry, sorry to that man, sorry

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Speaker 1: to that person, right, But also you might be like sheit,

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Speaker 1: I ain't trying to be involved in no shit like this.

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Speaker 1: If you don't have no peace, I definitely don't want

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Speaker 1: to be in this because I ain't trying to have

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Speaker 1: you make me your peace. It can reveal a lot

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Speaker 1: right now, I'm being facetious, low key, but that question

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Speaker 1: can I reveal a lot about them? Hi key? Real, real, right?

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Speaker 1: It reveals a lot, and they do share some of

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Speaker 1: the things that do bring the peace. Maybe you can

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Speaker 1: connect on those things. But it's very revealing.

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Speaker 2: I think I agree that it is. And it also

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Speaker 2: lets you know like maybe there are things that bring

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Speaker 2: them peace that you don't align with And that's information too, right,

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00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 2: that's letting you know, okay, so perhaps this person the

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Speaker 2: things that bring them peace are things that aren't aligned

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Speaker 2: with what bring me piece, so we won't be compatible

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Speaker 2: and that that's no judgment on either of us. That

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00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: doesn't make either of us toxic or bad. It's information.

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Speaker 2: So then that takes us to number seven, what kind

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Speaker 2: of partner do you want to be? What I love

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Speaker 2: about this question is that it reveals intentionality, right Like,

387
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Speaker 2: it lets you know, okay, now, whether you're going to

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Speaker 2: be their partner or not, how they want to show

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Speaker 2: up as a partner is going to look like ABCD,

390
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Speaker 2: and it also lets you know it's information on okay, Well,

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Speaker 2: if they are doing ABC and D, that's signs that

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Speaker 2: they are really in this relationship wanting to truly be

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Speaker 2: a partner. If they've told me ABC and D are

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Speaker 2: the things that they how they want to show up

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Speaker 2: as partner, and they're not doing those things, that's an

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00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 2: opportunity to seek clarity because if they're saying they're not

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Speaker 2: willing to do those things with you, but they know

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Speaker 2: that those are what they want to do as a partner,

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Speaker 2: you ain't it boot, it's time to move on because

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Speaker 2: they don't want you as a partner.

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00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: Now, on that note, well, Mike, drop right there, Okay, listen,

402
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: it's the truth. On that note, we're going to move

403
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Speaker 1: on to these dating scenarios, and these just we're going

404
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: to talk through a couple of scenarios and how they

405
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Speaker 1: reveal character and compatibility. So let's just jump right into

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Speaker 1: number one. So number one is going to be collaborative

407
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 1: or activity based dates. So this is like the cooking classes,

408
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 1: the what is that sipping paint type vibe, right, hiking guys,

409
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: physical activities even like a rage room, just something where

410
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: you're doing things together. And I think these activities done,

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00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: they can really reveal patience, emotional regulation, ego versus playfulness.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it scape room. Right, if you're in

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00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: escaping with someone and you see that they're not they're

414
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,919
Speaker 1: like very impatient or they get very competitive with you

415
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: and they just have you see a whole different vibe.

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Speaker 1: You can see their ability to be a team mate

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00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: and value team work as well in that type of setting.

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Speaker 1: So I think these can be pretty telling. What do

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00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 1: you think about these? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I think that that's key, right because if you're looking

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00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 2: for a long If you're intentionally dating and looking for

422
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 2: that long term partner, this person, based on how they're

423
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: behaving in this scenario, is not going to be the

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00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 2: person for you. Because healthy, loving relationships require team work,

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00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: and the key word is partnership right Like you all

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00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 2: are working together in these scenarios. If they're not able

427
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: to find a way to incorporate you into achieving the goal,

428
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 2: they are not more than likely not going to do

429
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Speaker 2: this when it comes to the relationship.

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Speaker 4: Are you a true crime fan looking to add a

431
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 4: new show to your list of favorites? Are you interested

432
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 4: in learning about cases that you've probably never even heard about? Hi,

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00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 4: I'm Kayla, one of your hosts here at Black True Crime,

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00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 4: where my sister and I research and discuss murders committed

435
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 4: by black offenders from their upbringing to their complete moral demise.

436
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 4: We discuss it all. Anyone and everyone is welcome to

437
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 4: enjoy the show, but it may not be enjoyed by

438
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 4: anyone and everyone, so listener discretion is advised. Black True

439
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 4: Crime releases new episodes every week and is available wherever

440
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 4: you get your podcasts, So start listening today. We can't

441
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 4: wait for you to join us.

442
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,719
Speaker 2: As we're having this conversation, something that kept coming up

443
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 2: for me was how deeply our health is connected to

444
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 2: everything else, especially our intimate health, which we don't always

445
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 2: talk about openly. So we want to share a sponsor

446
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Speaker 2: that aligns with that whole body, whole person approach to wellness.

447
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: One thing I appreciate about Soaking wet is that it

448
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Speaker 1: supports vational health without making it feel medical or intimidating.

449
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Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I mean it's really about daily care,

450
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Speaker 2: supporting balance, moisture, and overall comfort.

451
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Speaker 1: And for me personally, when things feel balanced I notice

452
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: that my body just feels better overall. Lady, get into this. Okay,

453
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: Soaking wet from vb Health. It packs a punch with

454
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455
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Speaker 1: sending your vagina to the spa if spots also guarantee

456
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: better sex. Okay, it's not just about health, it's also

457
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: about pleasure. And then let me just be real with you. Okay,

458
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: we're grown. If you're in a space where natural lubrication

459
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 1: is a concern, this works all right if you know

460
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Speaker 1: you know, and.

461
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: What we know is that it can positively impact intimacy.

462
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 2: But the foundation of this supplement is really wellness and prevention.

463
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: And again, this is a product we've tried and feel

464
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Speaker 2: good about sharing with our community.

465
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: You can visit soakingwet dot com you called her space

466
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Speaker 1: for ten percent off or click the link in the

467
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: show notes. And now let's get back to the conversation.

468
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 2: Now, let's flip it and talk about what this might

469
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: reveal about you in these scenarios. Right, in a setting

470
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,439
Speaker 2: like an escape room, you have to be willing to

471
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 2: be a team player as well. Right, so, do you

472
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 2: have patience, do you know how to emotionally regulate? Are

473
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,159
Speaker 2: you able to be playful or is it focused on

474
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 2: your ego? But also in some of these scenarios where

475
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 2: it's about a collaborative activity, how safe do you feel

476
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 2: not be being perfect? How safe do you feel potentially

477
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 2: being judged? How do you allow someone else to support you?

478
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: How comfortable are you being a little vulnerable. I can

479
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 2: think of an example for myself, like hiking is not

480
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: that's not my area in life right now, I have

481
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 2: a fear of falling. We've talked about this before where

482
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 2: it'll probably come up again because we haven't worked on it.

483
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: Yet, So.

484
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: In a scenario where I'm on a hike, whoever I'm with,

485
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: whether it's a potential partner or friends and family, I

486
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:53,239
Speaker 2: have been in scenarios on hikes where my fear of

487
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 2: falling has come full force in that moment right where

488
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 2: we're going up a steep incline, or it's a very

489
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 2: narrow path that we're having to walk and there's a deep,

490
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: deep drop on the other side.

491
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 3: Right Lord, I know, child, I know.

492
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 2: And so for me being in those scenarios, I have

493
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: allowed myself to push through. I have said vocally, like

494
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 2: I've been vocal about like, all right, this is a

495
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: little scary, but I'm doing it, and I've done and

496
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,959
Speaker 2: I've said that out loud to the people or person

497
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 2: that I'm with so that they're aware. Right, So I'm

498
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: allowing myself to be imperfect. I'm putting that vulnerability out

499
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 2: there of like, I have a fear of falling.

500
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 3: This is scary for me.

501
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: And I am also asking for help, which is something

502
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 2: that I have consistently worked on in life, is asking

503
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 2: other people for help.

504
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 3: Right, And so.

505
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 2: For me, that's an easy scenario that I thought of,

506
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 2: that's like, yeah, This is a space where I'm that

507
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: I am allowing myself.

508
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 3: I'm pushing myself.

509
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: To be imperfect, to have this vulnerability and to ask

510
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 2: for help things that I normally that are working progress.

511
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: I appreciate that down and I think that's super important.

512
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: And also kudos to you for asking for help, because

513
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: you know how a strong independent black women be. We

514
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: won't be asking for help. So good as to you, girl,

515
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: And you made me think of something else. So this

516
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: was I think a very good example about what was

517
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: revealed about yourself and how you were showing up. I'm

518
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: thinking about a scenario where I was dating this guy

519
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: and we would play games. He would be competitive, which

520
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 1: is totally fine because I like to be competitive when

521
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: it's fun, especially when you're like flirty with it, right,

522
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: But he would also cheat on a lot of the games,

523
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: like all the time. And so one of the things

524
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: I want to remind us of is to also think

525
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: about patterns, right because let me tell you, if we

526
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: playing air, I'm gonna be talking shit. I'm honestly, if

527
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: me and my partner are plays any type of game,

528
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: I'm a team player obviously, like me and I'm have

529
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: been teammates for a long time, right in this podcasting world.

530
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: But I like to talk shit with my partner for fun,

531
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: right in a fun, flirty way, not like we about

532
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: to fight, because some people you pull out Monopoly and

533
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: they flip the table over, they're about to they try

534
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: and fight outside, you know, so not like that of vibe.

535
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: But I think also pay attention to patterns because this

536
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: person who would always cheat on the games, they would

537
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: also cheat in the other areas of life, right, They

538
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 1: trying to cheat people out of things. Just a dishonest

539
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: person in general. So I think that says a lot

540
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: about them, And so I just wanted to make a

541
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: point to say, like, just watch out for the patterns

542
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: as well. It's okay to be competitive, and even if

543
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: your partner it's competitive, and like, hey babe, I get

544
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: serious when it comes to these games or they'd like

545
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: to talk a little shit. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

546
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: It's just being aware of like how it makes you

547
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: feel and the patterns that you notice.

548
00:31:56,120 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: Yes, I think that's yes important data and I can't

549
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: tress that enough to data, right, all right, So let's

550
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: move on to scenario number two. Oh girl, Oh yes,

551
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 2: I know plenty of relationship have ended over this scenario

552
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 2: spending an extended period of time together. So whether it's

553
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: a long weekend together like the staycation, or you all

554
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: are traveling together. Traveling with a partner reveals so much

555
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 2: because it's a compressed amount of time and you all

556
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: are together in that compressed amount of time. It's not

557
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: like it's not like you're necessarily separating. And so you

558
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 2: get to your If you're going through at least a

559
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 2: twenty four hour period with your partner, there are things

560
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 2: that they might be able to hide when when you're

561
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: seeing them on a date for like a couple of hours, yes,

562
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: or if you're doing a quick cute overnight but taking

563
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,719
Speaker 2: a trip, there are things that they are not going

564
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: to be able to hide that you're not going to

565
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: be able to hide.

566
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: Right.

567
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 2: What it can reveal is emotional stability, each of your

568
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 2: ability to be flexible, some habits good or bad, and

569
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 2: true personality.

570
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 3: Girl, you got a story. I sensed it well.

571
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: All I was going to say is when it comes

572
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: to travel, they often say travel with your partner to

573
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: see if y'all really vibing like you say you vibing right,

574
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: especially traveling abroad oh my gosh. But one of the

575
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: things I was going to say Tom is this could

576
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,719
Speaker 1: go for friendships as well. I think communication is definitely key, right.

577
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: We all know that. I think about even when we

578
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: have visits together, or either you'll come up to visit me,

579
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: I'll come down to visit you, usually for a weekend

580
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: or a few days. And one of the things I've

581
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: learned about myself whenever I have any visitor, whether it's

582
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: family or friends, is I still value my alone time

583
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: and while someone's visiting, I just I like being by

584
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 1: myself in general, but communicating that with people, like sometimes

585
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: you know, we'll hang out and we'll have time when

586
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: we're doing something together, or we can just sit on

587
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 1: the couch and watch something and be quiet, which I value.

588
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: Like I think talking all the time sometimes could be

589
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: a little overwhelming, and so being able to have that space,

590
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 1: or we each go to our own rooms and do

591
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: our own thing and then we convene. I think having

592
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: that communication with someone is really important, but you have

593
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: to kind of know yourself in order to be able

594
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 1: to do that. Right. The other thing we travel too

595
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: is like challenges. Years ago, I had traveled abroad with

596
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: a partner, and I actually did. I think it was

597
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: like Barcelona and I got the wrong ticket to another city,

598
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: and so we had to figure out in this new country,

599
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: or we didn't speak the language how to get it

600
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: rend like, how to figure it out, and so we

601
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: ended up having to separate for a minute to like

602
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: he went his way off. We're just having a flashback,

603
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: and we had to get ourselves together because very frustrating

604
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: that we missed we missed the train. And so it

605
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: can really reveal a lot about a partner. That's all.

606
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 3: It really can.

607
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: And I think what it does is a question of

608
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 2: an important question to ask yourself in those moments, is

609
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 2: am I feeling peace or anxiety in their presence? And

610
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 2: I want to be clear that the key phrase here

611
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 2: is in their presence, not necessarily about the scenario that

612
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: you are navigating. Because the scenario you gave, like I would,

613
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 2: I would be anxious, like the hell, we done missed off,

614
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 2: we got the wrong ticket, like I might, the normal

615
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 2: calm demeanor might go out the window, right is, And

616
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 2: but that lack of calmness is about the scenario itself,

617
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 2: not connected to my partner. If I'm feeling anxious about

618
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,720
Speaker 2: having to navigate this scenario with this particular person. That's

619
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 2: something to pay attention to. Is it and asking and

620
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 2: just and really paying attention, no judgments on what's happening,

621
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 2: paying attention. Is this anxiety about you not being able

622
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 2: to trust people in general? Is this anxiety about how

623
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: they are engaging with you? Like where is the anxiety

624
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 2: coming from? And then that's the information that helps you

625
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: decide is this a good person for me? A good

626
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 2: match for me? Not whether or not they're a good person.

627
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: Is this a good match for me?

628
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: That is so good, so good? All right, y'all. Number three,

629
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: I have a story for you for this one down.

630
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 1: Number three is slowing down the relationship. So wait and see. Now,

631
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 1: this can be very revealing, okay when you slow things down,

632
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: because it it reveals their intentions right, emotional maturity, and

633
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: also whether they're consistent or driven by excitement. Now I

634
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: just want to I think we haven't girl to talk. Okay,

635
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,879
Speaker 1: no judgment, it's a safe space, no judgment. So when

636
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: I was reflecting on most of my intimate relationships, what

637
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: I realized is that many of them started except because

638
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: I never I never really subscribed. I don't think I

639
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 1: really subscribed it, like, oh, you gotta wait three months

640
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: to have sex. I'm have sex, but I would have sex, Okay.

641
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it for them anyway, I'm doing it

642
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: for myself. Okay. So a lot of them started with

643
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: sex and then they morphed into something else. Right, So

644
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: it may have started as sex and then morph into

645
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 1: a relationship, like, oh, okay, here we are now. There

646
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: was one relationship in particular where I slowed it down

647
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,280
Speaker 1: and was like extremely intentional. We actually started as friends,

648
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: and it was so much better experience wise because it

649
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: allowed me to go into a clearheaded one. I wasn't

650
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: thinking about the d okay, I was thinking about like compatibility.

651
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: And I also realized now when it was more casual,

652
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I can't have sex whenever I want.

653
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: But when it was like a relationship was on the table,

654
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: it made me be a lot to show up a

655
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,439
Speaker 1: lot more differently. And I was thinking about this one

656
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,760
Speaker 1: guy and I was like, in my whole face, just dating,

657
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: you know, just doing what I wanted to do. There

658
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 1: was this guy. We were hanging out, girl, and I

659
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: was like, we were just at his place, we were

660
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: just chilling, and this man was like, can we just

661
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: go to your house now? He was just trying to

662
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 1: get some and I was just like, broh, wow. It

663
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,919
Speaker 1: was so it was just so because I was moving

664
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:31,479
Speaker 1: very slow that particular night, and it was just maybe

665
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 1: laugh It was just very blunt, and I was like, damn,

666
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: like we can't just chill for a little bit. But

667
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: when you slow things down, it just it allows someone's

668
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 1: true self to come out, because someone they can't fake it,

669
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: but for so long, you know what I mean, until

670
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: they really go out.

671
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 2: So yeah, and I think the thing as you were

672
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: saying that, I was like, well, yeah, I mean, on

673
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 2: one hand, wow.

674
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 3: That was pretty okay.

675
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: But on the other hand, I'm not mad at him

676
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 2: asking for what he wants, right okay. And so I

677
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 2: think the thing that we want to pay attention to

678
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 2: is someone asking for what they want is not a

679
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 2: bad thing.

680
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 3: Just because you don't want.

681
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: To give it doesn't mean that the question is bad. Right. Good.

682
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 3: It's information.

683
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 2: I know you're probably a sick of hearing me say it,

684
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna keep saying it because it really is information.

685
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 2: It's revealing information about where you are versus where they are,

686
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 2: and compatibility, right, now you all are not on the

687
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 2: same page. He's wanting the goods, you're wanting friendship. That

688
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 2: we're not aligned right now. And again, no judgment on

689
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 2: either side. You all want to separate two different things

690
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,720
Speaker 2: and it doesn't make either of you good or bad.

691
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 2: All right, So scenario number for.

692
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 1: Now.

693
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: This is one that women tend to struggle with dating

694
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: outside your usual type. What I love about this one

695
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 2: about dating outside your usual type is it forces you

696
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 2: to break your patterns.

697
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 3: And it reveals. It can reveal.

698
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 2: Whether your quote unquote type is actually good for you

699
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 2: or connected to a familiar trauma that maybe you haven't

700
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 2: fully worked through. It could also reveal whether you are

701
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 2: open to healthier dynamics because it could be, and I've

702
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 2: seen this happen for folks, it could be that dating

703
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:01,240
Speaker 2: outside of your type, that the person that you open

704
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 2: yourself up to is actually the better match for you.

705
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 2: And at a minimum, it is information. It is allowing

706
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 2: you to maybe identify patterns that you haven't really paid

707
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 2: attention to before or and or it may also be

708
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 2: providing you with information about things that you didn't.

709
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 3: Realize you needed.

710
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: In a relationship and from a partner because you are

711
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 2: choosing someone who's different from your norm.

712
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: That part, Oh my goodness, I'm gonna say, is ten

713
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: out of ten highly recommend. All right, I bets Now

714
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go on to scenario number five. Oh my gosh,

715
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: don You're you gonna be bushing? Okay, bringing it back

716
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: Scenario number five navigating discree our conflict. We talked a

717
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: little bit about this earlier, but conflict really reveals emotional

718
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: maturity faster than anything else. And we've done episodes on

719
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: this before. But conflict isn't always a bad thing, right,

720
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: we should be in conflict with I want to say everyone,

721
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 1: we should have different perspectives. It's all about what we

722
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: do with the conflict, right, and so it could be

723
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 1: either a disagreement or just a differing perspective literally, And

724
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: so I'm trying to think of a scenario dom about

725
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 1: I don't know if you have a scenario where you

726
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: were in conflict with someone that you were on a

727
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: date with or dating, please share, because I feel like

728
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: this can be so telling having a disagreement with someone

729
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 1: in a dating scenario. It can literally get like it

730
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: will let you know, it will give you the information,

731
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: but also let you know what action to take, like

732
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 1: right away. So they used to watch for listen. Do

733
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 1: they listen? Do they get defensive? Do they respect your perspective?

734
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 1: Like this is a huge scenario. Umber five is huge time.

735
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: My fuck, you have a story? Do you?

736
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 3: I do have a story. I have a story.

737
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 2: So you know, I was on a date with this

738
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: and I we were having a conversation and he used

739
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 2: some derogatory inflammatory just in what I believe to be

740
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 2: inappropriate words not gonna repeat them, and in that moment

741
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 2: the first time, I let it slide. So I was like, okay,

742
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 2: all right, we're gonna let it. Let it go this time.

743
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 2: The next time I spoke up and I said, you know,

744
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 2: I don't like it when I don't like those words.

745
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 2: I don't like the use of those words. How he

746
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 2: responded was information, He basically, oh go ahead.

747
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: I was okay, I thought you I didn't know if

748
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: you were going to tell them what he said. Way

749
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:57,879
Speaker 1: you gotta tell them what he said? Okay, my bad,

750
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm excited.

751
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, so he I mean he is.

752
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 2: Basically his response to me was that he was going

753
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 2: to continue to use those words.

754
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: And I just asked something now because and it's not

755
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: gonna reveal what he said, but the way you explained

756
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 1: it to me when this happened, it was it blew

757
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: my mind because what is correct me? If I'm wrong?

758
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: You said that? He was like, I'm not saying it

759
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:24,439
Speaker 1: directed towards you. I'm just saying the word serious. I said,

760
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:25,959
Speaker 1: I mean, didn't he say something like that?

761
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 3: Yes, yes he did.

762
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:27,919
Speaker 1: Yes.

763
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:32,760
Speaker 2: So because it wasn't directed towards me specifically, he felt

764
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 2: like it was okay for him to continue to use

765
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 2: the words in my presence, even though I asked him

766
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 2: not to so. In that scenario, what it revealed about

767
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: me was that I might let it slide once, but

768
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 2: I am not going to stay silent for the purpose

769
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 2: of keeping the peace, and that I am going to

770
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: communicate what is a boundary for me. What it revealed

771
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: about him was that there are certain ways in which

772
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 2: he will not respect my perspective or my boundary. And

773
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 2: for me, that's a deal breaker. If you cannot respect

774
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 2: my boundary around words that I find offensive, chances are

775
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 2: you were going to ignore and disrespect my boundaries and

776
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 2: my requests in other areas as well, And that's a

777
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 2: no for me.

778
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: Listen, and again, this is information we're not judging, and

779
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we I'm thinking about my younger self

780
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: right now. Sometimes I will say I had to go

781
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 1: through certain things to get to a place where I

782
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 1: got sick and tired of being sick and tired so

783
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: I could speak up because there was so much that

784
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: I tolerated before. But now, DON like this the way

785
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: he showed up. Even though someone may be listening and

786
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: they may think, oh, that's not that major, but can

787
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: you imagine all the areas of your relationship that's going

788
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: to But it's head because that is a part of

789
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 1: us character. That means that when you share something important

790
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: with him in other areas, he's probably going to show

791
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: up in the same way. Right. So listening to those

792
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: red flags and watching them and using that information to

793
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,720
Speaker 1: alter your action, it can save us from so many

794
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: unaligned situations.

795
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 2: And here's how in this particular scenario, because I know

796
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 2: people are saying like, oh, that's not that big a deal. Yeah,

797
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: to go back to further prove your point, my best

798
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 2: friend knows that there are certain words that I don't

799
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: like or that I find offensive, right, And she may

800
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 2: use those words, but she is also very clear that

801
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 2: around me. She is not going to use those words

802
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 2: because she knows that I find them offensive, and so

803
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 2: my boundary is me asking her not to use those

804
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: words around me. Is not trying to police her language.

805
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm not saying no use those words. I'm saying I

806
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 2: don't like those words. They make me uncomfortable. Those are

807
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 2: offensive to me. Please don't use them around me. My

808
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 2: best friend, who I have known for thirty plus years,

809
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: doesn't use those words around me. What she does when

810
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 2: I'm not around, that's her business. But around me, she

811
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: is very intentional about respecting my boundary.

812
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 1: You had that conversation with her.

813
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,400
Speaker 2: We've had the conversation around using certain words.

814
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 3: Wow, I love and so for.

815
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 2: Me, and that happened years ago, right, and so for me,

816
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 2: that also showed me that. And so that in that

817
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 2: dynamic when I was on a date with that guy

818
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 2: and he was not that he was unwilling to do it.

819
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 2: Because I had an example of someone who in my life,

820
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 2: who loves and cares about me, who is willing to

821
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 2: respect my boundary. I knew that it was possible I love,

822
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 2: and so for him not to do it information for

823
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 2: me to say, then he is not the person that

824
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 2: needs to be in my life exactly.

825
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: Who goes to her too for being able to respect

826
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 1: that boundary. That's beautiful to see women being able to

827
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: have those conversations.

828
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 2: And so then that leads us to scenario number six, right,

829
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 2: having difficult or direct conversations, right, this is also that

830
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 2: previous example fits this as well. Right, So when having

831
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 2: a difficult or direct conversation, so those things could be

832
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 2: about like when you're asking for what is someone's intentions

833
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 2: in the relationship, or you're asking about being exclusive, or

834
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 2: you're discussing things like deal breakers. What it reveals is

835
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 2: their sense of clarity, their emotional maturity, and their willingness

836
00:48:54,719 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 2: to be honest. What it can reveal about you is

837
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 2: is in that moment where you are with your sense

838
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: of self worth, your courage, and your willingness to choose

839
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 2: yourself love it.

840
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to add there, Tom, I think

841
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 1: we can. I mean, we're gonna go to the after

842
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: show lady. We'll probably recap some stuff. But I think

843
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 1: just closing the conversation and just kind of reminding us

844
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 1: of what dating can reveal about us is really important, right,

845
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: And this is really where the transformation happens within ourselves,

846
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: and so just remembering that dating reveals whether you trust

847
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: yourself right, It can reveal whether you honor your boundaries.

848
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,879
Speaker 1: It can reveal whether you choose your peace and whether

849
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: you abandon yourself for potential. And the thing about it is,

850
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 1: we're having this conversation, as you always know, with love

851
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: and no judgment. We have enough people in the world

852
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: judging us, not holding space for us, making things more difficult.

853
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: We are here to observe the information and then ideally

854
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: tapping into tools and resources to help us make a

855
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 1: decision from the information that we have.

856
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 2: That's about a reflection, yes, and as you are reflecting,

857
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 2: here are a few things for your journal. Dating taught

858
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 2: me that I I realized I needed to I learned

859
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 2: to stop. I learned that I deserved a lady. Those

860
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 2: journal prompts will be in the show notes, and so

861
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 2: feel free to purchase your Cultivating her Space journal off

862
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 2: the Cultivating her Space website and answer these journal cromps

863
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: as you think about what it means for you to

864
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 2: be intentionally dating.

865
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: And lady, we're going to hop into the after show

866
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 1: and we have some deeper reflection questions that will go

867
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 1: over there in addition to some behind the scenes storytime.

868
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 1: So you want some storytime, come on over. But just

869
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: remember the dating is not just about finding the right person.

870
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: It's about becoming someone who trusts themselves, honors the boundaries,

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00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: and chooses alignment over familiarity. Right dating reveals you to yourself,

872
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: and when you listen to what's showing you and what

873
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 1: it's showing you, you can move differently, you can choose differently,

874
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: and you can live differently and make better decisions that

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00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: serve you. So we wish you the best on your

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00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: dating journey. Lady. Visit herspace podcast dot com for the

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00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 1: Patreon if you want to visit us or see the

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00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: video of the episode, and then also check us out

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00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: on Instagram at Herspace podcast. Now we're going to dive

880
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: into the after show. If you want more speaking engagements,

881
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Speaker 1: collaborations or visibility for your brand. I got to tell

882
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Speaker 1: you the truth. This is Terry Lomax and I've been

883
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Speaker 1: a public speaker for over twelve years. I've lended national media,

884
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Speaker 1: a TED Talk, and six figure collaborations without a publicist

885
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Speaker 1: or a big social media following. And here's what most

886
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Speaker 1: people don't hear. You don't need a publicist or a

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Speaker 1: massive audience to get booked. Most people are waiting to

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Speaker 1: feel established first, and that waiting is costing them visibility.

889
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Speaker 1: How many times have you looked up and seeing people

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Speaker 1: with less experience getting opportunities you were fully qualified for.

891
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Speaker 1: Here's the truth. Opportunities don't go to the most qualified.

892
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Speaker 1: They go to the people who can clearly communicate their value.

893
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Speaker 1: Once I learned how to organize my story and position

894
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Speaker 1: my expertise using a framework, everything changed. If you want

895
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 1: my exact pitch emails, word for word, my winning subject lines,

896
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Speaker 1: and the Saucy Solutions framework, visit get that pitch dot

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Speaker 1: Com for a limited time use code her space for

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Speaker 1: a special listener discount. If this is your year to

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Speaker 1: stop hiding and start getting booked, I'll see you inside.

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Speaker 1: Visit get that pitch dot Com or click the link

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00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: in our show notes.

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00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:48,439
Speaker 2: Thanks for tuning into cultivating her Space. Remember that while

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00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 2: this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's

904
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 2: not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you

905
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 2: know need support, check out resources is like therapy for

906
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 2: black girls or psychology today. If you love today's episode,

907
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Speaker 2: do us a favor and share it with a friend

908
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 2: who needs some inspiration, or leave us a quick five

909
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 2: star review. Your support needs the world to us and

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00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 2: helps keep this space thriving.

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00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me, I trust

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00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 1: myself to begin even without all the answers. Keep thriving, Lady,

913
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: and tune in next Friday for more inspiration from cultivating

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00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: her Space. In the meantime, be sure to connect with

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00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,919
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at her Space Podcast