Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Denglert and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to an all
Speaker 1: new episode of Help I Suck At Dating. It's Friday.
Speaker 1: This airs on Sunday, right before three day weekend. Very
Speaker 1: exciting times. But if you were in the restaurant industry
Speaker 1: like myself, there is no weekend for you. But that's
Speaker 1: all right. We're grinding here. I'm Jared Haven, of course,
Speaker 1: joined by Dean Unglert, and we have a very special Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's putting up what is that the rock and roll sign?
Speaker 1: By the way, that's a that's a let's have the
Speaker 1: best podcast ever signed. That's actually the universal about to
Speaker 1: be a great podcast sign? Because you do that? Will
Speaker 1: you do that sign a lot? So it's your pointer
Speaker 1: finger and your pinky straight up? Is that? Like rock on?
Speaker 1: More than more than just a lot? Actually, I've even
Speaker 1: got it tattooed here on my is right there. So
Speaker 1: it's just an energy that lives within me. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: just have to express it physically, and that's what I
Speaker 1: go to, you know, how like it? Well, we have
Speaker 1: very special guests joining us right now. You know her
Speaker 1: from season seventeen of the Bachelor. It is Danielle McBride. Danielle,
Speaker 1: how are you hey, I'm good. How are you, guys?
Speaker 1: I'm well, thanks for joining us on Help. I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. I know. I When I first heard about this,
Speaker 1: I was thinking, oh my god, the last time I
Speaker 1: was dating. Because I've been in a relationship for seven years,
Speaker 1: I'm like thinking back to dating times. I'm excited to chat.
Speaker 1: So it's it's always nice when we have a co
Speaker 1: host on here that doesn't suck at dating because we
Speaker 1: learned way more than me. What otherwise, Well, I hope
Speaker 1: I don't suck at dating. I actually think I have
Speaker 1: really good advice. So I'm excited to to chat with
Speaker 1: you guys. But Dean, I haven't seen you in a while.
Speaker 1: I know I sat back in the day. So yeah,
Speaker 1: So just before we started recording, we were re reminiscing.
Speaker 1: I suppose when did we meet? I want to say
Speaker 1: it with Seth McFarland's like holiday party, right maybe? And
Speaker 1: also Leslie is my good friend and when you dated
Speaker 1: likely speaking of Suya, I'm kidding Help by suck at dating,
Speaker 1: and that's funny. I don't remember meeting you with her though,
Speaker 1: we must have, I guess at some point because I
Speaker 1: remember when I remember when we when we got the
Speaker 1: rundown for this episode and I saw your name on there.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, I know she looks
Speaker 1: so familiar, but um, that's funny. Yep, that was a
Speaker 1: chapter in my life, Leslie. Um, she's got a kid now,
Speaker 1: and you've got a couple of kids, right, yeah, I
Speaker 1: have twins, two boys, So you guys, you guys are
Speaker 1: just mommy life in it. But you know, I still
Speaker 1: have like my single girls and I go out still.
Speaker 1: I'm like a cool mom. So you are well. So
Speaker 1: for the listeners out there, Danielle had twins September one,
Speaker 1: so they're um coming up bunny year kind of the probe, like,
Speaker 1: what like nine months at this point? Yeah, you're good there,
Speaker 1: eight months? So eight months twins? Well you know, hell
Speaker 1: are you doing? Now? Well, Okay, I have a no
Speaker 1: pair So that changes the game she's from and honestly
Speaker 1: she lives with that. So what's a pair is actually
Speaker 1: a program with the government where the embassy uh picks
Speaker 1: a bunch of girls or men who are across the country, um,
Speaker 1: who want to study in the US. But then they
Speaker 1: also want to be full time nanny's for families. So
Speaker 1: it's actually a great program because they get a visa
Speaker 1: and they can stay up to two years and it's
Speaker 1: been an amazing process for us. We actually I need
Speaker 1: to know a pair of status. Yeah, she was going
Speaker 1: to say, I'll introduce you. It's so worth it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. So twins, I mean Ashley had one
Speaker 1: in her belly and it was enough horror so to Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it just happened like I got pregnant and I
Speaker 1: went to the doctor and they said you're having twins,
Speaker 1: and I just remember looking at the screen like crying
Speaker 1: a little bit scared. Well, it's crazy because obviously I
Speaker 1: was in the delivery room with Ashley, and pushing one
Speaker 1: out is just a moment. I can't imagine having to
Speaker 1: push one out and then be like all right, here
Speaker 1: we go round two. Yeah, you know what. I actually
Speaker 1: had a C section and it was scheduled because the
Speaker 1: doctors just I think they honestly it's a liability thing
Speaker 1: for them and they don't want to risk doing it,
Speaker 1: which I kind of regret because I'm I'm super into
Speaker 1: natural thing, so for me, I wanted a natural experience
Speaker 1: but they're always like, Okay, this is a day and
Speaker 1: we're going to do it. And for me, I actually
Speaker 1: made it to thirty seven weeks, which is full term
Speaker 1: for twins. Um. But yeah, I'll tell you guys, it
Speaker 1: was a lot like I didn't love being pregnant. I
Speaker 1: did not like being pregnant. Well, especially with twins the double,
Speaker 1: I'm sure everything was just intensified even more. Um. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to ask, what is it like going to
Speaker 1: the hospital with a plan in C section, because it's
Speaker 1: got to be so much different than like a natural birth,
Speaker 1: whereas you know, you go into labor and then you
Speaker 1: go your water breaks and you go to the hospital
Speaker 1: with the C section, it's kind of like you're leaving
Speaker 1: the house and you're going to have the baby probably
Speaker 1: that same day or something, right, So what was that
Speaker 1: whole experience exactly? Yeah, I know, it was super interesting.
Speaker 1: I went into the doctor, Um, she said I had
Speaker 1: to too much amiotic fluid. So she was like, we're
Speaker 1: gonna have the surgery eight am in the morning. So
Speaker 1: I remember just driving to my house with my partner
Speaker 1: Mark and he was like, we're just driving through to
Speaker 1: paying it because I live in with the Hills now,
Speaker 1: so we're like driving through to PA. I'm like hysterically crying,
Speaker 1: like freaking out, thinking, oh my god, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: through surgery. I've never gone through surgery before. Um. And
Speaker 1: then she's like, you're gonna sleep overnight at the hospital.
Speaker 1: So I slept overnight at the hospital, and I was
Speaker 1: the whole time just like so stressed out. I was
Speaker 1: just like I could not sleep. I could not even
Speaker 1: like I was just so uncomfortable. I was so big
Speaker 1: because I had two in me and I was just
Speaker 1: like waiting at them out. But yeah, it's a weird
Speaker 1: feeling knowing that, like it wasn't a natural experience for me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like going into this room and there's like
Speaker 1: a tiny little um like metal caught area and you
Speaker 1: have like ten people surrounding you and you're literally about
Speaker 1: to have surgery because which wins is double everything, like
Speaker 1: double nu double too O b's it was everything. So
Speaker 1: it was crazy. But I like, yeah, so you live
Speaker 1: in Woodland Hills. What hospital did you go to because
Speaker 1: is there not one up in that area? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: actually was at St. John Santa Monica, so I before
Speaker 1: was and then we bought a house of Woodland Hills.
Speaker 1: So I just went to her and so it was
Speaker 1: fine though, I mean, what do you think of Woodland Hills.
Speaker 1: Not to get off the baby subject or anything, but
Speaker 1: Caitlin and I were looking at We wanted to buy
Speaker 1: a house up there, but it just never ended up
Speaker 1: coming to fruition. But you like it up there, I'm obsessed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have like a mountain house. Um, we're so nice.
Speaker 1: We're right next to country club and it's just an
Speaker 1: awesome place for just people in general who just want
Speaker 1: to have a more metal lifestyle. Lots of families, but
Speaker 1: there's also like couples who are you know, you know,
Speaker 1: no kids, um, and I'm a huge trees everywhere in
Speaker 1: my backyard right now that I'm looking at, So I
Speaker 1: highly recommend it. We were, yeah, we were looking at
Speaker 1: a house right on that Woodland Hills country Club area too.
Speaker 1: It was mine. If you guys have a listed, it's
Speaker 1: definitely possible. But no, it was just it was just
Speaker 1: a crazy time and obviously everyone knows like the real
Speaker 1: estate market went when bananas over the past year, so
Speaker 1: we decided to wait a little bit longer, but maybe
Speaker 1: one day we'll be neighbors. Yeah, I mean our house
Speaker 1: had twenty three offers on it, so it's crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you guys just moved in then recently then um,
Speaker 1: when I got pregnant. So last year we moved in. Okay,
Speaker 1: yeah that was lots of changes, new house, new faces
Speaker 1: with the pair, I guess. Yeah, it's crazy you guys,
Speaker 1: So what's going on? What kind of advice do you
Speaker 1: have for Jared? Because you've only got like a five
Speaker 1: month head start on him. But I feel like in
Speaker 1: the first year you see some more difficult you see
Speaker 1: some pretty significant changes. I can only imagine. So what
Speaker 1: do you got for Yeah, I'll tell you Jared. Um,
Speaker 1: now they sleep through the night, so I put them
Speaker 1: down at seven and then they wake up around six thirties.
Speaker 1: So for me, I don't know what you guys have
Speaker 1: sleep trained already, but for me that's amazing because I
Speaker 1: actually can sleep. Um, but that's a big change. And
Speaker 1: then I mean they're just super cute now, like giggling
Speaker 1: all the time, and um, you know, just they're just fun.
Speaker 1: They're like like the cute baby stage where you like
Speaker 1: don't want them to grow up, but then you kind
Speaker 1: of do. But then you kind of don't. So, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Dawson is really cute right now he stares, which is
Speaker 1: so he'll he's smiling now, which is fantastic. He hasn't
Speaker 1: been really giggling or laughing, but I'll notice when he's
Speaker 1: in the swing. Because the great thing is it used
Speaker 1: to be if if he was awake and we would
Speaker 1: put him down, he'd immediately start crying. But now if
Speaker 1: he's awake and we put him in the swing, he'll
Speaker 1: stay there for a few minutes and kind of be content,
Speaker 1: which is really nice. And sometimes like I'll go make
Speaker 1: coffee or something and I'll look back and I can
Speaker 1: see him just staring at me, and that's pretty awesome, uh,
Speaker 1: because he just has nothing else to look at. Really.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I'm very excited for him to sleep through
Speaker 1: the night. Uh. And see the thing, ever, I hear
Speaker 1: a lot people put their you know, like they'll go
Speaker 1: down at seven and then they'll sleep till like sixty seven.
Speaker 1: The problem is Ashley is such a night owl. If
Speaker 1: she puts Dawson down early, she's not going to bed
Speaker 1: till twelve or one, so it doesn't even matter. So
Speaker 1: we like, somebody needs to change their sleeps. Schedule, either
Speaker 1: Dawson or Ashley. I'm thinking, ah, what does Ashley do
Speaker 1: until one am? She just is She's always been an
Speaker 1: adular She's answering emails, she's doing Instagram things like she'll
Speaker 1: she'll she'll start working like at eight pm, and I'm well,
Speaker 1: now I'm at work, But when before I opened Audrey's,
Speaker 1: when I would be home more, I would be so
Speaker 1: I feel so guilty because she'd be doing things all
Speaker 1: around the house at like ten pm, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to bed. She's like, yeah, that's fine. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I feel terrible because you're doing laundry right now and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go lay down. So I guess, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll just be a terrible husband. No, I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: sleep is still important when you have kids. I mean,
Speaker 1: any parents will tell you that. So hopefully actually can
Speaker 1: get to a rhythm though she needs it. She needs
Speaker 1: it because either either Dawson is going to change his
Speaker 1: sleeping habits or Ashley. And if I was a betting man,
Speaker 1: I'd say Dawson is not changing his sleeping you know,
Speaker 1: like he's priority actually needs to revolve around him. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: Daniel Danielle. How is it with the twins? Are they
Speaker 1: always kind of on the same schedule or have they
Speaker 1: been like dueling at all? Yeah? Same schedule. So we
Speaker 1: try to do eating, sleeping, everything the same. So, um,
Speaker 1: it's just it's good to have a routine because then
Speaker 1: they get into it and then you're like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: having twins and they're both boys, right boys. Is there like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say like support groups, but like,
Speaker 1: are there like groups where moms of twins or parents
Speaker 1: of twins come together? Because having twins, I can only
Speaker 1: imagine is a whole different realm of parenting where it's
Speaker 1: like you don't have to raise some different firste but
Speaker 1: there's like probably different things to expect I can imagine. Right,
Speaker 1: So is there any like community around twin parents? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's such a good question. Um So when I now
Speaker 1: that I have twins, one thing I realize is there's
Speaker 1: so many twins out there. People like don't talk about it.
Speaker 1: It's like this whole world and like I'm even like
Speaker 1: on business calls and I'm like, oh, I have twins
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, I have twins. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: the fraternal are identical? And then you really kept to
Speaker 1: identify like what they are. And there's a lot of
Speaker 1: twin parents out there and meeting a few, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's do I have any that are close by? Not really,
Speaker 1: it's more just like talking to them through tax door
Speaker 1: on phones. Group Wise, I think there are some out there,
Speaker 1: but it's more just I think when you post on
Speaker 1: Instagram something about twins, like twin moms have reached out
Speaker 1: to me. Um, just they want to connect because it
Speaker 1: it is it it's a lot, um it's it's just
Speaker 1: it definitely has to add a new dynamic. I have
Speaker 1: got some really good friends from back home who are
Speaker 1: twin boys, um. And they grew up their whole life together, obviously,
Speaker 1: and they went to different colleges when I went to
Speaker 1: college in Colorado, one went to Washington And the first
Speaker 1: two years they were both like super depressed because you know,
Speaker 1: they spent their whole years, their whole lives together, and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden and they wanted to get
Speaker 1: away from each other. But then they realized not long
Speaker 1: after that they kind of needed to be close to
Speaker 1: each other. Um. And so I can imagine there's got
Speaker 1: to be like not complications, but like definitely like interesting
Speaker 1: levels to that kind of stuff too. Yeah, I'm excited
Speaker 1: to see when they grow up how it's going to
Speaker 1: be because people always say that right now, they like
Speaker 1: can't really I even they identify each other, but they're
Speaker 1: not like obsessed, So I don't know, do you this
Speaker 1: is this is gonna sound really stupid, um, but I
Speaker 1: gotta ask, do you know at this point in their
Speaker 1: lives if they're fraternal or identical twins? So great question.
Speaker 1: When when I was pregnant, they were two separate sacks.
Speaker 1: So usually if they're two separate sacks, are usually fraternal,
Speaker 1: but they could be identical because at the beginning they
Speaker 1: could just split and it could be two separate sacks.
Speaker 1: Usually identical is one sack. So I think they're fraternal,
Speaker 1: but they look a lot alike. So we haven't taken
Speaker 1: the test yet, but I mean, it's Jesse and Dylan,
Speaker 1: and Jesse is definitely bigger than Dylan, but they if
Speaker 1: you see them together, they're definitely they look a lot alike.
Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, they could look
Speaker 1: almost identical, but they would technically potentially still be fraternal exactly.
Speaker 1: So like the olds and twins, they're actually fraternal. They
Speaker 1: look identical fraternal, So that's crazy. That was crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Yeah, most people always think they're identical.
Speaker 1: And actually, what the cool is that I'm actually booking
Speaker 1: them in TV show stuff now. So yeah, they like
Speaker 1: they're booking to Apple TV stuff and what is this?
Speaker 1: Dan or Okay? So I'm like, it's why not a
Speaker 1: twin mom get them in stuff? I mean, hey, if
Speaker 1: they can start paying the bills early, why the heck. No,
Speaker 1: you should reach out to Mary Kayton Ashley and see
Speaker 1: if you can get any advice from him. I should.
Speaker 1: That's a great idea. Yeah, is there something as like
Speaker 1: a twins intuition? And if you've noticed anything yet, Like
Speaker 1: I know you said they haven't really recognized that like
Speaker 1: one of their twins obviously, but have you noticed any
Speaker 1: small moments where it's like a little freaky not really honest,
Speaker 1: I know, people I think they're just too young, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I haven't yet, but some moms maybe
Speaker 1: more more identical. I don't know. It's a good question.
Speaker 1: That's a good question. Though. It's like that you like
Speaker 1: pinch one of them and the other one squirms or something.
Speaker 1: Like that, like a voodoo doll. I mean I think
Speaker 1: you could. You could go down a deep rabbit hole
Speaker 1: on the internet finding some some testimonies about that actually happening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of videos too out there. You could
Speaker 1: google twins stuff. Yeah, well, I don't know. I could
Speaker 1: spend a whole day doing that kind of stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: So has it been everything that you've expected it to be?
Speaker 1: Like just being a mom and especially twins? Are you
Speaker 1: having a blast? Like are you who? Are you excited
Speaker 1: they're finally sleeping longer? What's kind of your general overall
Speaker 1: feeling about it? Um, I've always dreamed to be a mom,
Speaker 1: and I know that's so cliche, but I have and
Speaker 1: so I just feel super fortunate. Um. I love being
Speaker 1: a mom. I love being part of like this feeling
Speaker 1: once you're part of the mom club in a way,
Speaker 1: you learned so much about it. Um. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's great. I mean, there's not much more I
Speaker 1: could say really beyond that, right, I mean, it's just special.
Speaker 1: I think it's a I think I know people struggle too,
Speaker 1: So I know it's hard for people who can't be moms,
Speaker 1: you know, but they can always adopt or something. But
Speaker 1: for me being able to have my kids, it's been
Speaker 1: great and sure fortunate. Does How did you and your
Speaker 1: husband meet because he was you a bachelor guy? No,
Speaker 1: not a bachelor guy. Um, he's super private, he works
Speaker 1: at Google. Um uh yeah we met ironic, he's very private,
Speaker 1: he works at Google. Um. We met on Tinder. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm a big believer in dating apps, because dating
Speaker 1: app I think they're great. Wait, that's awesome. So can
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit more about how you
Speaker 1: guys met, Like who made the first move? What was
Speaker 1: your first date? Yeah? So yeah, I was on Tinder
Speaker 1: seven years ago, just you know, dating away. I love dating.
Speaker 1: I thought it was so fun. Um and then yeah,
Speaker 1: he reached out. We went to a wine barn, rained
Speaker 1: all right, had a great time. And then I remember
Speaker 1: I was doating other guys at the time. Um, but
Speaker 1: I knew the other guy I was dating was like
Speaker 1: more of like a playboy who was having a lot
Speaker 1: of fun, like wanted to find me pases and go places.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, like this guy
Speaker 1: seems like normal and healthy and I should probably go
Speaker 1: for that guy. So yeah, I mean it's been great.
Speaker 1: I mean we've traveled all over the world together before
Speaker 1: we had kids. That I mean, we've gone everywhere from
Speaker 1: like Japan to Morocco to Canary Islands. We love traveling,
Speaker 1: so um, yeah it's been awesome. Well yeah we noticed
Speaker 1: that because you said your partner. Yeah, so we're not married.
Speaker 1: Is that a conscious decision? Um? He doesn't really believe
Speaker 1: in marriage? Um, but it's so like it's kind of
Speaker 1: like I feel like, you know, um, Goldie Hans and
Speaker 1: Kurt Russell, Like I feel like we're like that just
Speaker 1: lifelong partners. Um. But we have everything pretty much a marriage,
Speaker 1: and we have the house, we have the kids. You know,
Speaker 1: we have everything. But yeah, I mean we're not married.
Speaker 1: That is one thing. But I don't think, say not
Speaker 1: believe about marriage. Um. I think it's just the paper
Speaker 1: behind it. Like do you really need paperwork behind like
Speaker 1: just loving someone maybe? And I'm sure that's every dude's
Speaker 1: real thought in their mind. I like this guy. But
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: marriage is great. I had nothing, I would have gotten married.
Speaker 1: I have no problem with it. Um. Well that was
Speaker 1: my question. I feel like a lot of guys, let me,
Speaker 1: Dean has has had this thought before that he's expressed
Speaker 1: in the podcast. But Kalin, I feel like wants to
Speaker 1: get married. Was there ever an issue between you two
Speaker 1: where he was against the idea of marriage and you
Speaker 1: really wanted to get married. Yeah, So for me, I
Speaker 1: wanted kids more than I wanted to be married. So
Speaker 1: and I and I loved him, and it was it
Speaker 1: worth it for me to like go out there and
Speaker 1: find someone else just because I wanted to be married
Speaker 1: when he was okay having kids and okay, you know,
Speaker 1: being a life partner. So for me, I think it
Speaker 1: was figuring out is that okay for me? And I
Speaker 1: loved him so much that I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I think it's okay. And now people bring it up
Speaker 1: a lot, you know, because and I actually we even
Speaker 1: call each other husband and wife when we're out sometimes
Speaker 1: because it's just like annoying to be like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: my partner, you know exactly. We're on the phone, we're like,
Speaker 1: oh's my husband's my wife? Like we just don't care,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we don't have like the paperwork behind It
Speaker 1: didn't bother me a little bit. Yeah, maybe at the beginning,
Speaker 1: but then I just kind of got used to it.
Speaker 1: And so you guys are you guys are locked in
Speaker 1: on this right? Like there's I mean you said seven years,
Speaker 1: that's definitely a long time. Um. Is there anything like
Speaker 1: potentially coming down the line, maybe just like go to
Speaker 1: a courtroom and file some paperwork real quick or um,
Speaker 1: you know what I would? Um, I just don't think
Speaker 1: it's in his realm. Yeah. Interesting, that's perfectly fine. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that you respect that too, and you're okay with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm very unique compared to most women because I don't
Speaker 1: think most women would do what I do. So no,
Speaker 1: I agree. I think you nail it right on the head,
Speaker 1: especially once the kids come in. The only sticky thing
Speaker 1: is is like, let's say you know, God forbid something
Speaker 1: happens to you, would he still be like the he'd
Speaker 1: be like next in line to help out with something
Speaker 1: I would imagine, right, Yeah, I think you could just
Speaker 1: get lawyers and have paperwork for that. So, um, we
Speaker 1: have that because a lot of guys, like your partner,
Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll say. You know, listen, I don't want
Speaker 1: the paperwork. I don't like there's we don't have to
Speaker 1: sign something to be in love, which I of course
Speaker 1: agree with, but I think ultimately it ends up being
Speaker 1: paperwork no matter what happens. You know, like you guys
Speaker 1: bought a house together, I'm assuming that you guys are
Speaker 1: in together on this thing like paperwork wise, so and
Speaker 1: then you even just said, like, all right, well, now
Speaker 1: that we have kids, like maybe we have talked to lawyers,
Speaker 1: just like paperwork, because if we're not married, we have
Speaker 1: to make sure that, like if something happens to one
Speaker 1: of us, they're taken care of. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: there comes a point I think. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you guys should get married for this purpose, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that it is funny because I feel like
Speaker 1: it always goes back to like there's always going to
Speaker 1: be some sort of paperwork involved there. There's gonna be
Speaker 1: always some sort of signature. It's so much easier to
Speaker 1: just go to court and get married or get married
Speaker 1: just because then everything's like so much easier. But I
Speaker 1: guess you can do it the other way too. And
Speaker 1: what's interesting is like what we're doing is more common
Speaker 1: than people think, like for some people. But look, you
Speaker 1: really got to trust your partner because there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people out there I don't know, it's tough. You've
Speaker 1: got to be a certain type of person. Well, of course,
Speaker 1: because the first thing that comes to mind when a
Speaker 1: guy's like, I don't want to get married, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: why why don't you want to get married? Yeah, well, well,
Speaker 1: especially especially when you have the house and the kids
Speaker 1: and like all the division of assets and stuff. That's
Speaker 1: when the trust really comes in. I feel like, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: It's like I got everything. I am already, you know.
Speaker 1: And look, I mean we've been together along with the
Speaker 1: most marriages, so right, I'm doing something right. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I hear you guys. I know it's such a weird
Speaker 1: topic because a lot of people don't talk about it,
Speaker 1: but I think it's a very common thing now and
Speaker 1: partnership or you know, common law marriage and that type
Speaker 1: of stuff is more common nowadays. Well, you guys are
Speaker 1: blazing a trail for Kaitlin and I too, because we're
Speaker 1: kind of we're we're on that same way to length
Speaker 1: as you guys on the topic of home ownership. Funny enough,
Speaker 1: not really super funny, but I just thought it was
Speaker 1: a little um annoying. I was running some errands today
Speaker 1: and we live in this gated community here in Vegas,
Speaker 1: and on the way back in, I didn't have like
Speaker 1: my clicker to open the gate, and they changed the
Speaker 1: gate code like every month, and so I didn't know
Speaker 1: what the gate code was. And so I was scrolling
Speaker 1: down into to like find my name, just like I
Speaker 1: could call my phone or click and buzz myself in.
Speaker 1: And it's not even my name on the buzzer thing.
Speaker 1: It's it's a Miller keep Kaylin on the buzzer thing.
Speaker 1: And where this relationship. It's just really it's the dumbest
Speaker 1: little thing. It just arked me for some reason. I
Speaker 1: was like, why is mine? Why get both our names
Speaker 1: beyond the thing? By a big question? Yeah, you would,
Speaker 1: you would want her to have your last name. Oh no,
Speaker 1: well when when we get married, because it is gonna happen,
Speaker 1: because she wants to get married, We're going to both
Speaker 1: change our last names. Um. I was just I was,
Speaker 1: you know, where cal and I were both on the
Speaker 1: d to the house, we're both on the loan. Why
Speaker 1: can't we both beyond the clicker for the gate for
Speaker 1: the front. That was That was my big gripe with it.
Speaker 1: But I don't really believe in the whole take your
Speaker 1: husband's last name thing. I think that's just the antiquated
Speaker 1: idea that people just kind of fall in line with
Speaker 1: because it's what we've done for so long. So we're
Speaker 1: trying to mix it up a little bit. Yeah, why not.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys got to do what you want
Speaker 1: to do at the end of the day. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: the only time it becomes weird is when you have kids,
Speaker 1: because then it's like, well, which last name are they
Speaker 1: going to take? Because you can only have one? So yeah,
Speaker 1: so for me, they have his last name, um Hatfield,
Speaker 1: and then I have my middle my last name in
Speaker 1: the middle name. Got it nice? And then Jared is
Speaker 1: it Dawson Haven? Right? Yeah, Dawson to meet you, Brady
Speaker 1: Haven any talk to make it. But but it's still
Speaker 1: just Ashley I Conettie, right, It's not Haben I Connettie.
Speaker 1: So she has not legally changes She's still Ashley I Connettie,
Speaker 1: but she hyphens it anywhere she goes where it's Ashley
Speaker 1: I con Edtie haven. I. I've told her she doesn't
Speaker 1: have to change her last name. I can. Eddie such
Speaker 1: a really nice name. And the thing is, I think
Speaker 1: the name is gonna die because if if she takes
Speaker 1: my last name and Lauren is Ashley's sister and they
Speaker 1: had two girls, takes the last name of her fiance. Uh,
Speaker 1: I don't think there's another I can Eddie boy in
Speaker 1: the family. So it's it's just over and I can
Speaker 1: Eddie such a great name. You don't want it. You
Speaker 1: don't want it to end. So we gotta we gotta somehow,
Speaker 1: you know, keep the Ashley I train going, which we'll
Speaker 1: figure out what if you you could do kind of
Speaker 1: like what Danielle did is make be I mean I
Speaker 1: Candie is definitely more of a last name than a
Speaker 1: middle name, but you could still try to make it
Speaker 1: a middle name at some point. Yeah, we were thinking
Speaker 1: about it, but it is, you know, a mouthful, and uh,
Speaker 1: we were, you know, because Dawson was given. Dawson was
Speaker 1: the name, so it's gonna be Dawson Ike and Eddie
Speaker 1: Haven and we were like, well, we're not sure if
Speaker 1: we're like that, And then of course we thought of
Speaker 1: Dawson Dmitri Haven and Ashley really like that. And then
Speaker 1: of course Brady decided to fake retire the day before
Speaker 1: we she got into labors, which is how Brady got
Speaker 1: added into the equation for that one. It's funny though,
Speaker 1: it's we're kind of the opposite because we have three boys,
Speaker 1: three Ungler boys, uh, and the Ungler name is going
Speaker 1: to die out because all the Youngler boys are changing
Speaker 1: their last names. And you know, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: we're the same result. Yeah, we're like, this name sucks.
Speaker 1: Let's get rid of this thing umish culture they keep.
Speaker 1: Both last names are in different Latin cultures like they
Speaker 1: always have, Like like my friend her last name is
Speaker 1: her father's and her mother's last name and seem with
Speaker 1: our repair Like in Brazil it's like your father and
Speaker 1: your mother's last name. So it's just in the US
Speaker 1: that I feel like we just always rather just keep
Speaker 1: the guys last Yeah. It's so interested that interesting that
Speaker 1: hasn't become more of a topic of conversation, you know,
Speaker 1: especially over the past three years of like you know, hey,
Speaker 1: let's let's move away from this male dominated world. And
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I'm surprised it hasn't been a big
Speaker 1: like hey, no, no more taken the last guy's name.
Speaker 1: It's over, it's done. Okay. I do think we've seen
Speaker 1: a lot less of it, and I think that we've
Speaker 1: seen a lot more of like the hyphenating or not
Speaker 1: even like Ashley for instance, not changing her last name.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, I guess it really does come down
Speaker 1: to the kid and whatever the last name the kid
Speaker 1: has is like, that's the that's the name. You guys
Speaker 1: should you guys should have combined him. It could have
Speaker 1: been like, uh Hi Bannetti ar Hya Connetti or something
Speaker 1: like that. That'd be pretty cool. I come on, I
Speaker 1: can bond Dawnson. You know, you know what, guys. I
Speaker 1: can tell we're getting a little off track here, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: get in to see me emails. So stay tuned. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back This is Paris Hilton. This week on
Speaker 1: the This is Paris podcast, NICKI and I will be
Speaker 1: joined by Anna Delvi. You may think you know her
Speaker 1: from Inventing Anna on Netflix. Get to know the real Anna?
Speaker 1: Is she a con artist and a fraudster or risk
Speaker 1: taking entrepreneur and audacious wanted that love her or hate her,
Speaker 1: We're all curious. The real heiress is sit down with
Speaker 1: the fake heiress right now on This is Paris. Listen
Speaker 1: to This is Paris now wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1: All right, everybody, welcome back to Help I Second Dating.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry there, Jared did not mean to. I don't apologize.
Speaker 1: See we step over each other, Daniello, this is how
Speaker 1: that this podcast works. We gotta get back in studio
Speaker 1: at some point, Dan, like, at some point we need
Speaker 1: to record an episode of Help I Second Dating from
Speaker 1: the I Heart Studio. Yeah, you want to know what's
Speaker 1: funny is I played golf with Wells yesterday, um in
Speaker 1: l A. And he just turned this new country club Lakeside,
Speaker 1: which is right like literally, um, a quarter mile from
Speaker 1: where we would record in in Pasadena, Sherman Oaks wherever
Speaker 1: that Pasadena, I think. And it was I got off
Speaker 1: with whatever it was. I got about the same exit.
Speaker 1: I was making all the same turns. I had to
Speaker 1: like look at the GPS six times to make sure
Speaker 1: I didn't accidentally put in the iHeart studio. Um. But
Speaker 1: it felt so weird being back in that area. I agree,
Speaker 1: I missed being in studio. Those really our glory days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. There was just like a different vibe, different panther.
Speaker 1: We need it, like being in person. Mark and Easton
Speaker 1: in studio, just like, you know, having them really not
Speaker 1: giving about our podcast because Tanya and and and Becco
Speaker 1: were before us, and then they had to focus on
Speaker 1: almost famous. Those were the good days, those really good days.
Speaker 1: If we're to be the forgotten stepchild, at least, like,
Speaker 1: let's be there in person to be this stepchild. I
Speaker 1: want to be forgotten it right in front of my face,
Speaker 1: not from three thousand miles away waiting. You're in Vegas,
Speaker 1: and Jared, You're in l A, Rhode Island, Oh, Rhode Island. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I forced, I forced actually and moved back to
Speaker 1: a little roady for me, which is very sweet of her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was not my scene. We we live in both
Speaker 1: Vegas and l A. We split time between the two
Speaker 1: of them. Got it very cool. And he lives in
Speaker 1: in Vegas. That is under Kaylin's name. So disappointing, but
Speaker 1: I get it, like I get it. I understand why
Speaker 1: it is. But still come on, throw me a book. Um,
Speaker 1: let's get into this first email. I'll read it since
Speaker 1: we don't have any Eastern here and I don't know
Speaker 1: if is even paying attention over there. So this first
Speaker 1: email is from anonymous Anonymous says, and Daniel, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you have this in front of you, so
Speaker 1: just along if you can. Anonymus says, I'm dating someone
Speaker 1: new and I'm still in the process of getting to
Speaker 1: know him. He has a lot of great qualities and
Speaker 1: is a good guy. But I found out he smokes
Speaker 1: cigarettes when he's drinking, and that's a red flag for me.
Speaker 1: My last relationship was toxic and I ex did that too,
Speaker 1: so it's a trigger. Will I be able to think
Speaker 1: past this and not let it affect me? Do I
Speaker 1: tell him about how my ex uh and how I
Speaker 1: feel about him smoking? So I guess the main thing
Speaker 1: is does this person tell her current boyfriend that she
Speaker 1: does not like that he smokes when he's strunk? And um, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think sometimes, Like I don't know, I think just
Speaker 1: being honest in general is the best part of any relationship.
Speaker 1: You just gotta be yourself. If you're not into it,
Speaker 1: you just tell them, right, and then you, guys are
Speaker 1: just you say if that's bad or good? It should
Speaker 1: be easy. Yeah, it should be easy, And you should
Speaker 1: have no qualms with speaking your mind and telling someone
Speaker 1: how you feel about something like that, Like that should
Speaker 1: just become that should just that should be the first
Speaker 1: thing you built that when you find out you just
Speaker 1: smoked a cigarette. And I I can love it with
Speaker 1: this person too, because I did a girl in college.
Speaker 1: She would smoke cigarettes when she was drunk too, and
Speaker 1: then you would kiss her and you'd get that nasty
Speaker 1: taste and sometimes like your clothes would smell like cigarettes smoke,
Speaker 1: and just like, oh, this is horrible. So I get it,
Speaker 1: and I told her I didn't like it either, and
Speaker 1: she kept doing it, and then obviously we ended up
Speaker 1: ending things because not because of that, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of other under routed issues. But if he's not willing
Speaker 1: to stop smoking cigarettes when he's drunk for you, if
Speaker 1: it bothers you this much, then you know that there's
Speaker 1: a lot more issues. Um, maybe then there are at
Speaker 1: the surface. Yeah, give him the opportunity to change his ways,
Speaker 1: you know, don't just bottle it in and then just
Speaker 1: one day explode on him and they're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: you suck because you smoke cigarettes when you're drunk. And
Speaker 1: he's like, well, where the hell did that come from?
Speaker 1: So just tell him, be honest. And then I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people, uh, they confused like telling the
Speaker 1: truth with approach. I I don't know if I phrased
Speaker 1: that properly, but like if you if you approached him
Speaker 1: and say, hey, listen, uh you can go straight to
Speaker 1: hell for smoking cigarettes when you're when you're drinking, and
Speaker 1: if you don't do it, I'm breaking up with you today.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't approach it that way. I would say exactly
Speaker 1: what you just told us. Uh, my ex used to smoke.
Speaker 1: I don't like that you smoke. It's a little bit
Speaker 1: of a trigger for me. Plus it's so bad for
Speaker 1: your health, and I just don't like being around smoke. Like,
Speaker 1: is there any way you might be able to change this?
Speaker 1: And then of course if this guy's like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: not changing my ways, then that's a huge red flight.
Speaker 1: But I would like to think that he would say, hey,
Speaker 1: I will try to quit smoking for you. I used
Speaker 1: to think girl smoking cigarettes was not gonna lie pretty
Speaker 1: sexy in my youthful years. Like a girl who was
Speaker 1: like smoking a cigarette. It was like the days were
Speaker 1: you know, you would see girls like when before you
Speaker 1: were twenty one and they would just be like having
Speaker 1: a drink and smoke at a cigarette. I'm like Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that girl is so hot. You w don't
Speaker 1: know why you love that, I bet you, and I well,
Speaker 1: I'm just totally projecting here. I bet you loved it
Speaker 1: so much because you're such a fan of cinema when
Speaker 1: you're younger, and like movies like Greece or like pulp
Speaker 1: fiction where they're smoking cigarettes. You were like, oh god,
Speaker 1: you associated it with like these beautiful movie stars smoking
Speaker 1: cigarettes a hundred percent. And then I ended up making
Speaker 1: out with a girl who smoket cigarettes and I was like, Nope,
Speaker 1: never mind, I don't like this, I don't want bit.
Speaker 1: I'll I'll smoke like five cigarettes a year always when
Speaker 1: I'm drunk, like a like a Bascheord party or something
Speaker 1: like that, and we're just like whatever. And every time
Speaker 1: I do calin like she's like, what the hell are
Speaker 1: you doing? Like why why would you do that? That's disgusting,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, you're absolutely right, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'll never do it again. And then I get really
Speaker 1: drunk again and I do it. Why do people smoke
Speaker 1: cigarettes when they're drunk? Like, I want to know from you, Deine,
Speaker 1: I want to know from firsthand knowledge. Um, well, for me,
Speaker 1: it's like an oral fixation thing. I just I also
Speaker 1: love to uh to fit in, you know, like if
Speaker 1: everyone if everyone's doing it, I'm like, yeah, sign me up.
Speaker 1: I don't care what it is. Sure to heron, count
Speaker 1: me in, you know what I mean. So um, that's
Speaker 1: really what it is for me. It's just like a
Speaker 1: mode of being part of the part of get it.
Speaker 1: There is something to be said about that. I even
Speaker 1: like again when I was younger, because when we were younger,
Speaker 1: I don't know if your parents smoked or like your
Speaker 1: older cousins, like you know, my parents would smoke him
Speaker 1: while I was younger, like you know, early nineties I
Speaker 1: remember as a kid. But like I remember, it was
Speaker 1: like a group activity. You know. They'd go outside, they
Speaker 1: would have a cigarette, they would talk about whatever the
Speaker 1: hell they were talking about. They would smoke a cigarette
Speaker 1: while holding their duncan black coffee in their hand, and
Speaker 1: I was like, man, that's freaking cool, you know, being
Speaker 1: an adult. Yeah, it's so cool. They talked about like politics,
Speaker 1: will smoking a cigarette. I can't wait for that one day.
Speaker 1: My dad used to have this rule where if we
Speaker 1: caught him smoking a cigarette, we would get a punch him.
Speaker 1: As hard as we could. Uh, and you know he
Speaker 1: smoked most of my life, so it'd be fun to
Speaker 1: just walk outs. I'd see him smoking a cigarette and
Speaker 1: just wind up a punch and punch him in the
Speaker 1: arm as hard you possibly could. So I always had
Speaker 1: a negative association with wish with it, but uh, you
Speaker 1: know it is what it is. All right. Let's get
Speaker 1: to the next email. Jared, you want to read this one? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: I'll read Gabby. This is from Gabby. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: for my boyfriends stance. He just received an amazing job offer.
Speaker 1: The problem is it's in London and my job is
Speaker 1: in Cargo. Now. He can't turn down this opportunity, which
Speaker 1: I understand, but I am upset since I don't know
Speaker 1: what is going to happen to our relationship. I'm perfectly
Speaker 1: happy where I am and I can't move with him.
Speaker 1: It is hard because I love him, but no, but
Speaker 1: don't know the distance will pull us apart or not.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for me? Do I try
Speaker 1: a long distance even though I don't know if I
Speaker 1: can do it? I mean, she has what do you think, Daniel?
Speaker 1: I think she either goes with him to London and
Speaker 1: lives it up, or she tries long distance, which long
Speaker 1: distance is super hard, so I don't know, it's tough.
Speaker 1: That's what I would say, good to London, just live
Speaker 1: it up. I know, Well, maybe she can get a
Speaker 1: new job, that's true. I mean, I think there's some
Speaker 1: people are fearful of leading their comfort zone. But sometimes
Speaker 1: it's like good to take a risk. If you really
Speaker 1: love the person, why not all so she can't try
Speaker 1: long distance, but it's gonna be really hard if he
Speaker 1: if he's going to be all the way across the country.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go the opposite of you guys here.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, you guys should just break up. I
Speaker 1: think that's that's the best option. And I'm not even
Speaker 1: saying it to be it's contrary or anything. I genuinely
Speaker 1: think it might be the best move I've seen, Like
Speaker 1: some of my good friends and relationships have moved to
Speaker 1: other countries for work, and uh, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: just kind of like the sorry, it has to be
Speaker 1: this way. Maybe later in life we can reconnect. But
Speaker 1: especially like he's moving to London, you don't want to
Speaker 1: like be a uh like an anchor that pulls him down.
Speaker 1: Or anything like that. So I honestly think, sorry, break up.
Speaker 1: See what happens. Maybe you guys stay in touch, maybe
Speaker 1: you go out to visit him. But I think in
Speaker 1: the long run, the best idea is for you to
Speaker 1: cut ties and go your separate ways. That's my advice.
Speaker 1: I actually think that's good. I didn't think of that.
Speaker 1: I would agree. I think that's a good idea turning people. Jared,
Speaker 1: what do you thing? Did I change your mind too? No?
Speaker 1: I do think that when you said you don't want
Speaker 1: to be someone's anchor and pull them down, a lot
Speaker 1: of I think it's worse to be the anchor in
Speaker 1: those situations, you know, like a lot of people will say, well,
Speaker 1: you know, you shouldn't be there. You know. It's how
Speaker 1: do I phrase this? When you said that, it makes
Speaker 1: it seem like the guy is the issue, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like she's like deadweight. But I don't
Speaker 1: know in situations. I've been in situations like this where
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm holding someone back and I feel
Speaker 1: like the biggest piece of crap in the world. Does
Speaker 1: that make sense? So I'm almost you know, do I'm
Speaker 1: almost making my life? I'm not making their life? Worse.
Speaker 1: I'm making my life worse as well, you know. So, um,
Speaker 1: I think long distance with a plan and regiment can
Speaker 1: be done if there's an end game, you know. For example,
Speaker 1: my one of my closest friends was dating someone in
Speaker 1: Vancouver and he was living in Rhode Island, and they
Speaker 1: had a plan though. He was planning on moving to
Speaker 1: Vancouver in about a year, So they did long distance
Speaker 1: for the year where she would come here once every
Speaker 1: two months, he would go there once every two months,
Speaker 1: and then they would just flip back and forth. But
Speaker 1: it was always with the end game of hey, one
Speaker 1: of us is moving to the other person. So if
Speaker 1: you can do a long distance and say, hey, this
Speaker 1: is not forever, it's temporary, we can get through this.
Speaker 1: Uh you know, I can travel back and forth and
Speaker 1: then at one point I will either move to London
Speaker 1: or you will move back here. Then sure. But if
Speaker 1: you're just gonna do long distance and be like, let's
Speaker 1: see how it goes, then I agree with Dean. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's going to end well for you.
Speaker 1: I think it's just you know, delaying the inevitable. But
Speaker 1: I also kind of agree with Danielle. I don't know
Speaker 1: moving to London sounds pretty awesome once in a lifetime opportunity,
Speaker 1: Like your job might be awesome and maybe you don't
Speaker 1: want to leave it. I totally respect that. Um So,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying do it, but I would say consider
Speaker 1: it well. For the record too, I wasn't claiming as
Speaker 1: as a guy girl thing. I'm just thinking that person
Speaker 1: that moves to a new country for work should be
Speaker 1: able to fully experience that country and dating experience. My bad.
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing a guy girl thing. I was just
Speaker 1: if I then my fat is just a human human thing.
Speaker 1: But there's also party factors, Like it depends how's a
Speaker 1: only've been together, right, Like, so's our third day and
Speaker 1: he's moving to London with him. Also, like let's let's
Speaker 1: paint this picture real quick, because this is where my
Speaker 1: my brain keeps coming back to, where like let's say
Speaker 1: they are dating and you know, they both like each other,
Speaker 1: they might be in love a little bit. But now
Speaker 1: this guy gets a job offer in London he can't
Speaker 1: say no to, and he's like excited to move there
Speaker 1: and like not like leave his girlfriend behind, but like
Speaker 1: you know, started new chapter in his life and move
Speaker 1: on and the girl by the girlfriend like going, whether
Speaker 1: his partner going, whoever it might be. Uh, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like he almost maybe like doesn't want that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like that's that's something worth considering too,
Speaker 1: is like maybe he's excited to get out there and
Speaker 1: like experienced this whole new chapter of life on his
Speaker 1: own and you and moving out to London. Oh agreed,
Speaker 1: But you know, like sometimes it's good to have a
Speaker 1: reason like oh, it's not you, it's not me, it's
Speaker 1: actually this job, and so like it's London, it's not
Speaker 1: you feel like they're a little spared, a little bit
Speaker 1: better in that situation. But I agree, I think there's
Speaker 1: a lot. There's a lot that we don't know about
Speaker 1: the situation, which could be really important for us to know.
Speaker 1: But I do I still stand by what I said.
Speaker 1: I say, you just clean break, keep the fond memories.
Speaker 1: Uh it'll be you know, ten years from now, you'll
Speaker 1: be telling the story about how you once stated in
Speaker 1: Chicago and moved to London and now you guys follow
Speaker 1: each other on Instagram and that's about the only interaction
Speaker 1: you get. Email emails are funny because obviously you can
Speaker 1: only have so much knowledge, there's lack of content, so
Speaker 1: would be so funny if Gabby Emails is back and
Speaker 1: be like I listened to Dean, I broke up with them.
Speaker 1: I did you know? I did a clean and then
Speaker 1: we find out that they had like four kids together.
Speaker 1: They were together for eight years. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: try made some really good points. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be the anchor. Yeah. Sorry, well, if that's the case,
Speaker 1: don't do it. But using it my for just from
Speaker 1: experience as a young twenty something year old in l
Speaker 1: A seeing some friends move away, the clean break, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, is the best. Um. So, this one's from Sarah.
Speaker 1: Sarah says, my boyfriend and I are getting serious, so
Speaker 1: we planned dinner for our parents to meet each other.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to expect going into it because
Speaker 1: they're so different. Ended up being terrible. So they already
Speaker 1: had it and it ended up going terribly. My boyfriend's
Speaker 1: mom would not stop talking about how we need to
Speaker 1: pren up if we get married, and how our kids
Speaker 1: are going to have a Catholic have to go to
Speaker 1: a Catholic private school. Then my parents were disturbed by
Speaker 1: the way his parents were fighting in front of us.
Speaker 1: And treated each other. It was just a lot and
Speaker 1: I'm upset since I do see a future with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Is it a deal breaker if my parents don't have
Speaker 1: a good relationship or are not similar in any way.
Speaker 1: That's a good question because we don't really normally talk
Speaker 1: about parents or the in laws very often. Jared, I
Speaker 1: know you have a great relationship with your in laws. Um,
Speaker 1: but Danielle, what are your what is what's your experience
Speaker 1: with your partners parents. I mean it's super great, but
Speaker 1: I always joke my parents are like meet the Fockers,
Speaker 1: like they're the fuckers. They're just super out there. Um,
Speaker 1: and you know my in laws are you know not,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? They are like the nicest honestly,
Speaker 1: like Mr Miss Nice, Like you can't get any nicer,
Speaker 1: you know. So they are a little opposite. I will
Speaker 1: say that, but it works, you know. So. I think
Speaker 1: it's just if you love the person and you want
Speaker 1: to have a life with them, the parents are just
Speaker 1: gonna have to figure it out or maybe they're not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to just hang out that often together.
Speaker 1: I mean laws are in Chicago and my parents live
Speaker 1: in California, so they don't see each other a law,
Speaker 1: but when I do, it's fine, but they're definitely not
Speaker 1: like best friends. So well, that's what I was gonna ask.
Speaker 1: How often do those parents, like Jared, how often do
Speaker 1: your parents hang out with your in laws? Like it
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like that's a very common thing, especially like
Speaker 1: Danielle's case where they're halfway across the country. No, I
Speaker 1: mean not that much. I mean I'm lucky that my
Speaker 1: parents get along famously or in laws, and it's really
Speaker 1: a very nice family dynamic. But I would ask Sarah
Speaker 1: what the relationship is between your boyfriend and his mom,
Speaker 1: because it seems like his mom is very controlling and
Speaker 1: the first time you meet her, she's like, hey, you
Speaker 1: need a pre nump and your kids are going to
Speaker 1: Catholic school. It's amazing to me because I think people
Speaker 1: just forget how they can turn themselves into their parents,
Speaker 1: you know, And like I I think about my own mom,
Speaker 1: and like, my mom is fantastic, but sometimes she, like,
Speaker 1: you know, she does the mom thing and she's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you should do this or you should do that.
Speaker 1: And I remember as a kid hearing her complained to
Speaker 1: my father about how his mother would always like tell
Speaker 1: her what she should or should not be doing. And
Speaker 1: it's amazing how you just forget and you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're doing the exact same thing that you claim complained
Speaker 1: about all those years about what your mother in law
Speaker 1: did to you. That makes sense, And so like I'm
Speaker 1: curious about the boyfriend's mom and being like, you know
Speaker 1: that you're telling your future daughter Laura potentially what she
Speaker 1: should or should not be doing with her kids. Like
Speaker 1: you know, how kind of a little a little, a
Speaker 1: little crazy that sounds like a tiny bit. Yeah, most definitely,
Speaker 1: most definitely, I think there's actually more crazy in laws
Speaker 1: than there are. I think I think they're overly protective
Speaker 1: and that makes them crazy, which is a good problem
Speaker 1: to have because it means the care and they love
Speaker 1: their grandchild. But at the same time, like, holy, this
Speaker 1: is the this is the really nice thing about being
Speaker 1: a thirty one year old orphan that no one ever
Speaker 1: talks about is there are no one loss to worry about,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So it's like why not
Speaker 1: cut ties? We cut ties. They moved to London for
Speaker 1: a job, and now I don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: them anymore. Yeah, So I think the moral a story
Speaker 1: with that one for Sarah is not that big of
Speaker 1: a deal in my opinion, because, like like Jared's case,
Speaker 1: you're in laws, get along great with your parents and
Speaker 1: they live pretty close, but the thing is they don't
Speaker 1: see each other that often. Even getting along well and
Speaker 1: being close enough, Yeah, I wouldn't worry about the dynamic
Speaker 1: between the in law. Is the only thing I'd be
Speaker 1: concerned about for you, Sarah, is the dynamic between your
Speaker 1: boyfriend and his mom. Because you know, of course you want,
Speaker 1: you hope that your significant other has a good relationship
Speaker 1: with their parents and they're still part of their lives
Speaker 1: and everything in that realm. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: if the mom is telling her son this is what
Speaker 1: you need to do, then he's it feels like he
Speaker 1: might have to choose between you and the mom, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Because if Sarah, if you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to sign a prenup and I don't
Speaker 1: want my kids to go to Catholic school, then the
Speaker 1: mom is going to be like, you need to ditch
Speaker 1: this woman, and then he's going to have to choose
Speaker 1: between the mom and you, and then it's going to
Speaker 1: cause even more issues. So that would be my only concern, right, agreed, agreed? Um, alright, sweet,
Speaker 1: well we got to all the emails. We have been
Speaker 1: updated on Danielle's life. So that's gonna do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode. Out of help. I suck at dating. Um, Danielle,
Speaker 1: thanks for joining us. Yeah, we had a blast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had so much fun. Yeah, thank you were right,
Speaker 1: have to come back. I wanted to talk to you
Speaker 1: so much about Shawn's season two because we'll do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was pretty wild. How many years ago and not
Speaker 1: that many? And your Paradise season two? Yeah, we really
Speaker 1: didn't dive in too much into the Bachlards. You give
Speaker 1: in all the baby talk. I know. Well I'm down there.
Speaker 1: I'll come back. How about that perfect? Okay, you can
Speaker 1: come back. We'll take you any time, any time you're available,
Speaker 1: anytime the old pair is willing to take care of
Speaker 1: the kids for a couple of hours while we have
Speaker 1: you on here. Yeah all right, well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: As a blast. Okay, bye, guys, I think Dean frozen.
Speaker 1: Oh and my internet. There we go. We'll I'll end
Speaker 1: this podcast. Make sure you guys all tune in next week,
Speaker 1: where hopefully we all suck just a little less, including
Speaker 1: Dean's Internet follow. Help by suck at dating on I
Speaker 1: Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcast