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Speaker 1: Take a deep breath in through your nose.

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Speaker 2: Holds it.

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Speaker 3: Now, release slowly again, deep in, helle.

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Speaker 4: Hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to

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Speaker 4: my voice. I am deeply well. I am deeply well.

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Speaker 4: I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the

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Speaker 4: Deeply Well Podcast. Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place

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Speaker 4: to land in your journey. A podcast for those that

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Speaker 4: are curious, creative, and ready to expand in higher consciousness

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Speaker 4: and self care.

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Speaker 1: This is where we heal, this is where we but come.

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Speaker 4: Welcome back to the show. I am your host, Debbie Brown.

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Speaker 4: As always, I am so, so so grateful that you're here.

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Speaker 4: I'm excited for today's conversation. I just feel a certain energy.

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Speaker 4: I feel like we're going to go some places. I

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Speaker 4: have a very very special guest, and in this episode,

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Speaker 4: we're really going to be exploring what it means.

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Speaker 1: To live freely, to create.

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Speaker 4: Intentionally, and to nourish our inner lives. Our guest today

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Speaker 4: is writer and visionary whose work is a balm for

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Speaker 4: the soul, Brandy Freely. Brandy is the author of five books,

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Speaker 4: including her Latest Sundays and Other Musings, and is the

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Speaker 4: founder and host of the escapism retreat. Through her powerful

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Speaker 4: ted X talk The Truth about Living Freely, and over

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Speaker 4: two decades of writing, teaching, and facilitating, Brandy has touched

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Speaker 4: thousands with her wisdom. An unassuming powerhouse in the wellness space,

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Speaker 4: Brandy's words flow like water, nourishing our roots and supporting

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Speaker 4: our growth. She is a transformation dula, a well living coach, facilitator,

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Speaker 4: creative director, wife, mother, and sister friend. Today, we are

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Speaker 4: going to dive into her journey what it means to

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Speaker 4: craft a life that is rooted in truth and creativity

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Speaker 4: and all the tools that we can use to cultivate

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Speaker 4: more freedom and well being in our everyday lives. Let's

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Speaker 4: welcome to the show, the Luminous Brandy Freely.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much, so great to be here, Thank

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Speaker 2: you for having for being here.

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Speaker 4: This is actually our second attempt at doing this show.

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Speaker 4: We recorded an episode Things that it go as planned,

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Speaker 4: and so we revisited it a few weeks later, which

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Speaker 4: I'm so happy because I do feel like that episode

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Speaker 4: was great. Maybe one day it'll all make sense, so

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Speaker 4: we'll have like a you know, like a deep cut.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I feel I feel.

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Speaker 2: Like this is the exact right time you know, I like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is how it was supposed to go. Yeah, just

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Speaker 2: as simple as that, you know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we I'm trying to to stay like I'm like,

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Speaker 4: what did I ask before?

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Speaker 1: And what did I wait? Did we already say that?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Whatever, whatever conversation happens.

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Speaker 4: So first and foremost something I want to do is

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Speaker 4: show everyone, especially if you are watching on YouTube, but

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Speaker 4: this beautiful book, look at this gorgeous cover, Sundays and

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Speaker 4: other musings, and you know what I really love is

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Speaker 4: I feel like we have a similar feeling of what

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Speaker 4: it is to be soft, yeah, and what it is

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Speaker 4: to be present.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that was like the connection, like, oh, you

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Speaker 2: see the world similarly to me. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think we see beauty very similarly and in a

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Speaker 4: very like nuanced way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: Simplified yet complex.

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Speaker 2: Is what I say. That's good what it is, right,

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Speaker 2: because it's not that simple, and mainly because you can

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Speaker 2: miss it if you're not really paying attention. So that's

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Speaker 2: what makes it not as simple, because it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can miss it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a high observation, yeah, like even catching

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Speaker 4: the second between the second.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 4: Ye me too, And that's when when I hold your book,

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Speaker 4: I see the intention of that, and when I open

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Speaker 4: the pages, I see really the intention of that.

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Speaker 1: It's a very.

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Speaker 4: Beautiful teaching of I think for some that might find

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Speaker 4: this that experience beauty or the present moment differently, they

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Speaker 4: would find this book and be invited into kind of

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Speaker 4: how to rewire visually, how to take in softness, how

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Speaker 4: to take in information, how to build the capacity for

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Speaker 4: or slow reflection.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that, because I did really like

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Speaker 2: the design of it was so important, and it took

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Speaker 2: a long time, and like there would be moments where

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Speaker 2: I was like, I just it doesn't feel right. So

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Speaker 2: then I'd have to sit with it for weeks and

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Speaker 2: then go back to the design of it. So that

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Speaker 2: means a lot. And you know, it's back to that

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Speaker 2: whole thing about beauty. And I just think for me,

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Speaker 2: like the way I experienced the world, I want it

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Speaker 2: to be beautiful in every way, every single detail, and

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Speaker 2: so I try to create that as much as possible.

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Speaker 4: You know, tell me more about that, Tell me how

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Speaker 4: you how do you feel about beauty? How do you

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Speaker 4: find beauty?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and when did you first discover beauty as a

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Speaker 1: tool as an ally on the path of healing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, and we hear it all

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Speaker 2: the time. But like even just creating the space at home,

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Speaker 2: I mean every single I can't even express, but every

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Speaker 2: single detail for me has to have some kind of

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Speaker 2: beauty behind it for me to like feel alive. But

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Speaker 2: that said, like I find beauty in like even in ruin, right,

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Speaker 2: So like I'm just always I think it's like I

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Speaker 2: like to say, I'm so grateful for eyes that can

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Speaker 2: see beauty, so I can find it anywhere. And I

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Speaker 2: think that is how I cultivate it by always looking

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Speaker 2: for it. I'm looking to find something beautiful every single day,

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Speaker 2: every single even I mean as simple as like cooking, baking,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, chopping vegetables, Like what's beautiful

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Speaker 2: about it? Like the fragrance, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: It changes the experience music, Like I'm a big like

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Speaker 2: put on some boss of nova that makes things beautiful,

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Speaker 2: you know what i mean.

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Speaker 1: And I'm hearing the layering in that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like you're really like creating like an artist. You know,

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Speaker 2: You're you're painting a beautiful life and you have to

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Speaker 2: think about every detail of it. You can't, like I said,

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Speaker 2: you can't skip over something. You can't miss any parts

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Speaker 2: of it. But it is a very intentional practice, you know,

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Speaker 2: because your mind is like wired always like well, what's

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Speaker 2: where's the beauty? You know, where's the beauty in that?

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Speaker 2: And just looking for it and then it just starts

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Speaker 2: popping up because I find that, like you know, as

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Speaker 2: your eyes are fixed to it, you see it more.

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Speaker 2: You know, you find it easier. So yeah, and definitely

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Speaker 2: it's a tool because on like the worst days, you know,

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Speaker 2: you you're you've practiced it so much, you know how

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Speaker 2: to find beauty. You can still find You can still

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Speaker 2: find it because you practiced, you know. So what about you?

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Speaker 2: Because I know, like we said, we have similar eyes, right,

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Speaker 2: so like how how's beauty you played a part in

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Speaker 2: your life?

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Speaker 4: Hmm?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for asking me that.

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Speaker 4: I God, there's this like kind of like just personal

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Speaker 4: statement that I say to myself or I sometimes like

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Speaker 4: you know, will put on like my stories, but it's

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Speaker 4: like make love to your life, make it art.

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Speaker 1: And that is like how I feel about every day.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like.

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Speaker 4: And for those that have been like part of my

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Speaker 4: journey for a longer stretch. Like my relationship with I've

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Speaker 4: always been I've always loved beauty and aesthetic like first

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Speaker 4: of all, like always always to the point where if

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Speaker 4: I'm in like a room, like even in childhood that

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Speaker 4: was like messy or didn't make sense, right, Like it

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Speaker 4: was just filled with things that didn't go together. It

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Speaker 4: felt so disruptive to my system, Like it was really

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Speaker 4: hard to be in spaces that don't have intention or

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Speaker 4: don't which certainly is not always possible, right, Like that

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Speaker 4: is there's so many layers to that, you know, that

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Speaker 4: was part of my childhood, right it was kind of like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you find things, you get, you know, but.

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Speaker 1: It was so disruptive or like if I'd go to like,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 4: Parts of the city that, because of systemic oppression, don't

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Speaker 4: get as much help or as much you know, funding

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Speaker 4: to have like parks or things like, I could sense

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Speaker 4: it on such like a deep core level that something

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Speaker 4: really important was missing from my experience. And then right,

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Speaker 4: and then when I would have the opportunity at young well,

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Speaker 4: my mom has always had an eye.

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Speaker 1: For beauty too. She's tort too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom is like very connected to at the

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Speaker 4: core of her very connected to beauty. So I did

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Speaker 4: get that sense because my mom like loved the arts

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Speaker 4: and you know just.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, theater, and so her beauty was and that.

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Speaker 4: It was more in like like taking me to place

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Speaker 4: or bringing me giving me access to see you know,

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Speaker 4: just artists create. But I would say like I got

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Speaker 4: so much exposure to beauty and intention through people that

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Speaker 4: were placed in my life, Like my godparents always lived

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Speaker 4: in the Hancock Park area, which is for those that

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Speaker 4: know LA, it's a really special part of LA. It's

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Speaker 4: classic Lay. There's a lot of those you know, Spanish

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Speaker 4: revival homes from the twenties with the terracotta roofs and

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Speaker 4: you know, the green lining around the windows, and there

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Speaker 4: was a lot of art deco and just that's something

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Speaker 4: I love about LA, like you can find architectural beauty.

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Speaker 1: So when I would go in their space, I would.

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Speaker 4: See you know, like beautiful like garden, or I would

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Speaker 4: see Buginbia, which is like very striking for me. And yeah,

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Speaker 4: little pieces of arts picked up in their travels and

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Speaker 4: that shaped my style so much, like there are just

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Speaker 4: so many things I do just like them in my

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Speaker 4: home and the way that I style things. But then

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Speaker 4: I would say I realized beauty was an ally. I've

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Speaker 4: always also been repelled by like manipulative beauty. I think

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Speaker 4: that's the way I would say it, Like the way

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Speaker 4: beauty and trend is sold to us, you know, in

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Speaker 4: our generation, especially in like the nineties and the early odds,

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Speaker 4: and like we had such hard standards. But as I

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Speaker 4: got older, my relationship to beauty really shifted.

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Speaker 1: When I'd be in like moments.

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Speaker 4: Of deep pain and deep darkness and literally it's like

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Speaker 4: it was the gulp of air, you know. And I

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Speaker 4: at those times called it finding tiny joys. I like,

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Speaker 4: find your tiny joy just like a little bit, like

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Speaker 4: do more with less, just a little bit, find a

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Speaker 4: taste of it, you know. But on my artist times,

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Speaker 4: when I look back, even at younger ages, I drive

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Speaker 4: straight to the beach, you know, like if a breakup

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Speaker 4: happened or something, you know, I'd get in my little

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Speaker 4: jeep and I would just be lying for the ocean

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Speaker 4: and just sit and watch it. Or I take myself

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Speaker 4: to a museum. But yeah, it's the moments with like flowers,

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Speaker 4: like gardens, like noticing a bee pollinating a flower, or yeah,

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Speaker 4: the sway of a tree, the brief, you know, greeting

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Speaker 4: of a wind chime, a couple of houses over when

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Speaker 4: the wind blows, Like my ears find it every time,

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Speaker 4: like my eyes Like it's like I can hear ants,

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Speaker 4: like that's how I can find beauty, and it really

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Speaker 4: helped me not just survive, but like I think, want

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Speaker 4: to be here, you know, and some of the harder times,

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Speaker 4: like want to stay here, you know, And I think

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Speaker 4: and I would love to get in this with you

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Speaker 4: because I find that we kind of talk even last

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Speaker 4: time coming into an out of the podcast studio or

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Speaker 4: this time getting ready to walk in, like we're kind

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Speaker 4: of in the nuance of daily life of what it

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Speaker 4: is to be someone in the world that offers tools,

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Speaker 4: that offers pieces of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: In certain ways that you know, intend to.

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Speaker 4: Help and healing, but then also just being like human women,

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Speaker 4: right and mothers and people that are as confused by

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Speaker 4: the world as everyone else. And you know, it's like

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Speaker 4: days like this that I feel so grateful for beauty practice,

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Speaker 4: because when everything falls apart, I cannot save the world.

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Speaker 1: I can't, I can't know. I can I can do

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Speaker 1: what I can, I can try.

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Speaker 4: I can serve in the capacities that I'm able, but

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Speaker 4: I can't change all of it.

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Speaker 2: And that's hard. It's hard, very hard, because you can

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Speaker 2: clearly see how it could be so simple. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: but it's not. And that's hard. So I understand that fully.

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Speaker 1: Deeply.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 4: One of the things that we were kind of talking

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Speaker 4: in our mystery episode was kind of around burnout, right,

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Speaker 4: and like, and I know, you just got back from

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Speaker 4: your sabbatical where you got to.

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Speaker 1: Be nourished by the land and nature and you know.

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Speaker 4: The people who were the first to love you. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and so just kind of I'd love to hear you

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Speaker 4: speak to that, you know, what it is to the

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Speaker 4: weight sometimes of holding space and growing community and then

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Speaker 4: also how you meet those needs when you are feeling,

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Speaker 4: you know, kind of on the edge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you spoke to like, you know, the

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Speaker 2: people who first loved me going home. First of all,

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Speaker 2: the privilege to go home, to be able to go

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Speaker 2: home and have a place called home, and to have

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Speaker 2: parents there and brothers, you know, and family to hold me.

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Speaker 2: I recognize what a privilege and what a blessing. And

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Speaker 2: then I think to just the call and the pool

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Speaker 2: to know that I need to go home, you know,

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and I did, and you know, burn out. Absolutely,

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Speaker 2: I felt it. And I also realized that a lot

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Speaker 2: of people in the space that we're in feel it

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Speaker 2: as well. And I think because you know, we've shown

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Speaker 2: up as much as we can in as many ways

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Speaker 2: as we possibly can to poor and poor and typically

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Speaker 2: I'm replenished by the pouring, like it's this thing where

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Speaker 2: like as I'm pouring, it's like God is refilling me.

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Speaker 2: And I I think this time it was like all

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Speaker 2: of the pouring, but there was this extra like drain

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Speaker 2: coming from the world, so it was honestly it is.

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Speaker 2: It has been too much for me. Yeah, it has

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Speaker 2: just been too much to try and hold space and

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Speaker 2: to pour from a cup, a cup that is empty.

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Speaker 2: And I am not a glass half empty kind of

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Speaker 2: girl at all, Like never have been. I'm like you,

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Speaker 2: like I've always been drawn to beauty and like.

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Speaker 1: Beauty innately optimistic.

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Speaker 2: Yes, innately optimistic, And I can find some good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like I can find it, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: But I think it has been hard to locate it

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Speaker 2: in this world today. And yeah, I think I was

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Speaker 2: like really on the brink of like losing my mind

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Speaker 2: a little bit, because I don't know how to be

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Speaker 2: in that space of like heaviness for that long, like

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Speaker 2: it was lasting for a really really long time, and

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Speaker 2: I couldn't I couldn't find my way out. So I

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Speaker 2: went home, and I think I tapped back into the

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Speaker 2: kind of beauty that has always fixed me, which is

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Speaker 2: just like good old country living, like you know, shoes

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Speaker 2: off in the grass, like hammocks in between trees, swatting

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Speaker 2: off mosquitoes. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like hearing

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Speaker 2: my mom and dad as as they are, they're a

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Speaker 2: little wild, they're funny, you know, but just their voices.

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Speaker 2: I needed it. I needed to return to that simple living.

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Speaker 2: And it came at a cost, literally, like I wasn't

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Speaker 2: making money. Like if I'm not and that's the thing, right,

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Speaker 2: if I'm not pouring and I'm not doing the thing,

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Speaker 2: then i'm as an entrepreneur, like if we're not working,

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Speaker 2: then you know, we're not making money. And I did.

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Speaker 2: I had to sacrifice that, and I felt like it

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Speaker 2: was worth it to take my soft summer sabbatical and

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Speaker 2: refeel and replenish. And I will say that I'm not

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Speaker 2: fixed because I came right back home and then the

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Speaker 2: world was still heavy, yeah, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: you know, but just trying to make room to hold

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Speaker 2: it and to be okay. And I think what I'm

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Speaker 2: coming to realize now is that it's okay. And we

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Speaker 2: say this all the time, and we know this, it's

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Speaker 2: okay to not be okay, but like even for extended

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Speaker 2: periods of time, Like, I don't think I'm gonna be

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Speaker 2: okay for a while, and so I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 2: find ways to keep hope and to keep my dreams

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Speaker 2: and to still find the beauty and to still find

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Speaker 2: those simple joys and to continue to pour into others

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Speaker 2: and say, hey, let me help you find it if

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Speaker 2: you're having a hard time too. Like I think this

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Speaker 2: is the time really to lean into this thing that

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Speaker 2: I'm really good at, which is finding beauty and help

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Speaker 2: other people find it because it's just heavy right now.

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Speaker 2: And I think I can look around at like, you know,

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Speaker 2: my peers in this space, and they're all saying the

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Speaker 2: same thing. And I think it's because we need to

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Speaker 2: allow ourselves, not just people in this space, but all

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Speaker 2: of us. We need to allow ourselves to not be okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and just accept that it's it's not okay right now,

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Speaker 2: It's not it doesn't feel okay. But I can still

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Speaker 2: take a drive to the beach. I can still go

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Speaker 2: sit by the water. I can still look up and

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Speaker 2: see a god wink and say thank you God. I

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00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 2: can still be grateful. I can still find some good

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Speaker 2: because I have to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's no other choice. I have to.

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Speaker 2: I was about to lose my mind for sure, like

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Speaker 2: and I've never been that close to it. But I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, it's and I always say, no one's

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Speaker 2: exempt from losing our like I don't care how good

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Speaker 2: you are at like recentering and like you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, but we are all disclose to really like

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Speaker 2: losing our minds. And I felt myself get in there

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Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, let me let me stop,

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Speaker 2: let me stop, no money whatever, Like I have a home,

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Speaker 2: I can go home. I'm going to go home, you know,

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Speaker 2: and spend I spent like two months back and forth,

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Speaker 2: but like mainly mostly at home. Yeah, what do you.

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Speaker 4: I think that the part of me that's like also

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Speaker 4: a sister friend, Like I'm like, no, you have mics

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Speaker 4: in front of you, So I want to be like,

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Speaker 4: what is going what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you can ask.

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Speaker 4: If you feel that it's helpful and relevant for anyone listening,

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Speaker 4: Like what are some of the themes that you're feeling?

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Speaker 3: Hm?

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Speaker 2: Oh so many? Because also I turned forty last year, so.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the fourth floor.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: So that's a thing.

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Speaker 1: That's a thing.

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00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: That's a thing because you just like it's like you

362
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: switch lenses. It's like, oh, take off my thirty something

363
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:24,199
Speaker 2: lenses and put on my forty something ones now and yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, just like that.

365
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, so good. Yeah, Like you know, so I'm seeing

366
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Speaker 2: things differently, and so there's that, There is hormonal shifts.

367
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Speaker 2: There's I have chronic pain. Yeah, I you know, struggle

368
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 2: with diet and things because I've been a little skinny

369
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Speaker 2: many my whole life, and then all of a sudden,

370
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 2: I'm actually forty pounds heavier than I should be for

371
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Speaker 2: my body type. Yeah, and so there's what comes with

372
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 2: that and how that feels in my gut. Right, So

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Speaker 2: I don't feel good?

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Speaker 4: Yeah right, my mom, I'll say you fine, like you're gorgeous, amazing,

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Speaker 4: thank you so much.

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00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: I hear you, I feel you and yeah yeah, yeah.

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00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there's that, and there's there's the So I'll

378
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: say it like this, I am a very much I'm

379
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,360
Speaker 2: a loner, big time, like I love my solitude. Yeah,

380
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 2: and I also am a big well how can I

381
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make up a word, but a big liver,

382
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Speaker 2: like I want to live and experience all the things,

383
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: like I want to feel all the things, and I

384
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 2: want to do all the things. I think that at forty,

385
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 2: I've been married for eight years California. I've been living

386
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 2: here for about eight years. I have two children, and

387
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: I feel like my youth is slipping away. Not in

388
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: this way where I'm like pressured about time or it's

389
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 2: not that, but it's just facts, yeah, right, like this

390
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 2: is like the last of my youth, this fortieth decade. Right,

391
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 2: And then I'm fifty, and I pray to God like

392
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 2: I still feel good, look good, you know what I'm saying.

393
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 2: But you're fifty going into sixty, and I love all

394
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Speaker 2: my girlfriends that are in their fifties are living it up, right,

395
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 2: So I look forward to that. But I just know

396
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: that this is just like this is facts, like the

397
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 2: timeline is going on, and so there is a like

398
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 2: I grieve I think versions of me that I may

399
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 2: never get to be, you know what I'm saying. So

400
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:38,479
Speaker 2: there's that and like so like I'm probably not going

401
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: to get to do that, like or I miss that

402
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 2: opportunity that for me is like a big thing, right,

403
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 2: So so in this like about to lose my mind stuff,

404
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 2: it's like the world, it's my world. It is you know,

405
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 2: who am am I becoming? And also who am I unbecoming?

406
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 2: Like what are the things that that have been? Like

407
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: this is how I'm wired, This is what I've always

408
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 2: believed or was taught to believe, and like what if

409
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: it doesn't it's not me. So I think of myself

410
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 2: as unbecoming really overbecoming, because most of it is me

411
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: figuring out what is not me, what I don't want,

412
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,919
Speaker 2: And a lot of my life I've done it by

413
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 2: the book as much as I can, with my little

414
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: adventurous rebel spirit in tow like I've tried to do

415
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 2: it by the book, and then there's always that side

416
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 2: of me that's like, but what about the adventure of it?

417
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: Like are you missing the adventure? Like what do you

418
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 2: really want? And I'm constantly considering and reconsidering what I

419
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 2: want and so right now, there's not a settling like

420
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 2: feeling in my spirit. I'm like part of me wants

421
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 2: to pay up my bags and move to anywhere else.

422
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: But I have to consider my children and I'm married,

423
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 2: and so that part is like a tug o war

424
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: because I'm still just me, you know, I'm just Brandy,

425
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 2: and I have to consider all these things that I

426
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 2: signed up for, like I did it. I said yes,

427
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 2: and I do and it was a great decision. And

428
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 2: I'm married to an amazing person and I'm still me right,

429
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 2: and so I have these pulls and pushes and I

430
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 2: just want to do right and I want to be

431
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 2: an example for my daughter and my son. So it's

432
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 2: like again, it's just holding all of this, especially when

433
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: you have just an inkling of good sense, like you

434
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: know that you can't just run around doing whatever you

435
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: want to do. And sometimes that can feel for me

436
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: like like I'm stuck. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

437
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 2: So that's me trying to say it in a way

438
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 2: that hopefully does not you know.

439
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel yeah, I thank you for the

440
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 4: fullness of that answer and the complexity and the layers

441
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 4: of it, because I think that is so incredibly relatable

442
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 4: to so many people listening right now, to millions upon

443
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 4: millions of women, you know, and.

444
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: It's like it's.

445
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 4: There is a heaviness to it, there is some confusion

446
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 4: about it, there is you know, yeah, just a beholding

447
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 4: of all of it at once, and it's like that

448
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 4: is also part of the intended path of what aging.

449
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 1: Brings us as well.

450
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 4: And it's interesting because it's all it's all true right

451
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 4: in so many ways, and so we are grappling, especially

452
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 4: on milestone years or milestone decades, we are grappling with

453
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 4: the past, present, and the future all at once. And

454
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 4: I think especially if we are doing a lot and

455
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 4: raising children, it's like it is coming in and you're saying,

456
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 4: oh wow, Like I'm seeing all of this and I'm

457
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 4: also now having to do because this is my belief

458
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 4: right and I don't maybe if I looked up, I'll

459
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 4: spend time later looking at studies on this, if any exists.

460
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,120
Speaker 4: But the way it's come to me, the way I'm

461
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 4: experiencing it is you're also like sunsetting certain core memories,

462
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,199
Speaker 4: Like I feel like there is this rewiring and adjustment

463
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 4: happening inside where the things you might have spent your

464
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 4: life thinking about up until forty, you're retiring many of

465
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 4: those thoughts, many of those beliefs, goals, core memories, kind

466
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 4: of like in the movie Inside Out, when you know

467
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 4: they go into the memory abyss where there's just all

468
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 4: these memories that aren't necessary to grab, to have at

469
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 4: the forefront, to have access too. So I think that's

470
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 4: some of what's happening. And then now we're kind of

471
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 4: calibrating to think about the last ten years. For this

472
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 4: ten years, you know what I mean, Like up until forty,

473
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 4: you are thinking so much about your childhood all the time.

474
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 4: It starts in your thirties, like you start thinking about

475
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 4: what it meant, what it didn't mean, what needs to

476
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: be healed and processed, you know, what you've been pushing

477
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 4: down under the surface. And then you're thinking about present moment,

478
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,239
Speaker 4: career and all of the kind of faster moves you

479
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 4: need to make in that decade. And then I think

480
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 4: you hit forty and you're done. You've already thought your

481
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 4: childhood to death. You know, It's like you've already gotten

482
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 4: to the cores. And so then you start thinking about, well,

483
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 4: what did I look? What was my twenties like like

484
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 4: it's the first time you really think about the significance

485
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 4: of the decisions you made or didn't make in your twenties,

486
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 4: so true and the beginning of your thirties right, And

487
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 4: a lot of it is related to purpose. How did

488
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: I set myself up? What did I want to be?

489
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 4: Did I become that? But it's not, you know, necessarily

490
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 4: because any of it is right or true or necessary

491
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 4: or that's what you should have done.

492
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: It's just now, this is where the room is.

493
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 4: You have space to review all of it, but you're

494
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 4: reviewing all of it while you're also in the midst

495
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 4: of such a centerpiece of the lived experience, like that age.

496
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 4: It really opens up the next trajectory, fully, it does,

497
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 4: and it's a new way of being with yourself because

498
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 4: you know, for many of us, and I hope this

499
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 4: for all of us, but you're in a state where

500
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 4: ideally you know who you are, ideally right, ideally ideally

501
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 4: and that there's still some settling in with that. But

502
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 4: you know, for some, for those my experience, it's like

503
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 4: you know what you're made of. Yeah, for sure, you

504
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 4: have a clear understanding, hopefully of like how.

505
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: Life moves for you. You have a lot of historical proof. Yeah,

506
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: that a lot of historical proof.

507
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: That's the thing that's big. Yeah, because I think about

508
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 2: even just the way I trust God. You know what

509
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I mean, like, for instance, with this summer sabbatical,

510
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: knowing I wasn't making any money, It'll be fine. Yeah,

511
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 2: it'll be fine because historically, when I look back over

512
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 2: my life, the years have shown me, have taught me

513
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: it will be just fine. I have proof of it,

514
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like, I will be just fine.

515
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: It literally will be just fine.

516
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 4: It's like that to me is always one of the

517
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 4: biggest saving graces that I trust. Like, even if I'm

518
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 4: in moments of confusion or hardship, I'm always like, at

519
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 4: my core, I say.

520
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: My name to myself and then.

521
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 4: I say, but what is historically true about your life?

522
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 4: What is historically true about the.

523
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: Way God uses you? Yes? And then it's like you

524
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: have all the proof you need, all the proof.

525
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 2: So move like that.

526
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, move like it. Yeah.

527
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 2: And I think too, going into my forties, I want

528
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 2: to move like that. I want to move sure and slow.

529
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, I if I'm being

530
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: honest and I love what I get to do. I

531
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: wish I could just do it for free when it

532
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 2: feels good, yeah, and then just guarden the rest of

533
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: the time, and like you know, and right, and do

534
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, which see.

535
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 1: What you have done for others?

536
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: Right, Like that is good?

537
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: That is ready to delete all social media.

538
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to do it anymore. Oh I'm struggling.

539
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 4: Serve as I can and then garden and raise my child.

540
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 2: Yes, that's that's And so there's the tug, yeah, because

541
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: you know, I'm I don't want to strive. I don't

542
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: want to strive. And so there's a part of me

543
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 2: that's like, Brandy, you could be doing whatever, right, you

544
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: could be doing all these things. And so then you

545
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: know that part that little person that talks to you

546
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 2: over here is like, well why aren't you you know?

547
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 2: And then like the self doubt creeps in whatever, And

548
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 2: then the other side is like, but do you even

549
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: want that? Do you want to do that? Like what

550
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,959
Speaker 2: do you really really want for yourself? And so like

551
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 2: there's just all this pushing and pulling and I think

552
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: coming into my forties and being like wait a minute,

553
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 2: like let me, actually, I don't know I need to

554
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 2: think about this because I don't feel like the same

555
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: person who thought I wanted all these whatever. I don't

556
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 2: feel like that anymore. And so now what do I

557
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: do with that? Like how do I move now?

558
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 4: And you know what's so interesting in what you're saying,

559
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 4: like what I'm hearing in it is like in this moment,

560
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 4: we have to make space for the fact that, yes,

561
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 4: indeed there is a surrendering, right like, yes, indeed there

562
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 4: is a shedding, right like there are certain things that

563
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 4: we may have held as valuable and thought would always

564
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:19,919
Speaker 4: exist about ourselves, about our bodies, about everything, And there

565
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 4: is a shed and it's not because it's wrong or bad,

566
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 4: but it's we are there is an evolutionary juncture in

567
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 4: the road where there are shifts mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually,

568
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 4: and you are being recalibrated and replaced in your own life.

569
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 4: And there is a grief to that, you know, and

570
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 4: there is a there is a getting used to that.

571
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 4: But that is, of course, if we are lucky enough

572
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 4: to continue to be alive. That will come for every

573
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 4: single living creature that has ever touched foot or p

574
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 4: on earth, you know. And there is a deep Yeah,

575
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 4: a deep observation and noticing of that, right like where

576
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 4: sexiness changes, right, where beauty changes form where we had

577
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 4: mastered the art of beauty, and now things about us

578
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 4: are changing until you're learning new ways of even being beautiful,

579
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 4: of being with yourself and your body, of which is

580
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 4: which is such.

581
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 2: A what a what a rich experience?

582
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: Yeah?

583
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 2: You know, life is so I mean, I can't the

584
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 2: only word that comes to mind is rich because and

585
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 2: I guess only when you're paying attention. Yeah, right, like

586
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 2: you again, you can miss it, you really can. But

587
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 2: it becomes beautiful when you think about it as like,

588
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 2: oh I just hit another fork in the road. How cool,

589
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 2: how neat? How amazing is that I can go this way,

590
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 2: I can go that way?

591
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 4: You know?

592
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 2: What a blessing to be alive, to get to decide,

593
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: you know, And so even though it can be this

594
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 2: thing that feels heavy in the moment, but you still

595
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: get to live this life where you get to go

596
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 2: this way or that way, and you get to decide this,

597
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: and you get to decide who's in your life. Who's

598
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: the choices. There's still these choices and all I don't

599
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 2: I don't to me, that's.

600
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 4: Now that is like so interesting, right, because the fear,

601
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 4: it feels like, is that now there's a limitation and

602
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 4: choice where like when you're young, that is a freedom

603
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 4: you take for granted and then hopefully you realize what's

604
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 4: happening and you use it. But it's an endless amount

605
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 4: of choices and possibility, right, But when you do as

606
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 4: you age, you lock into things that become pieces of

607
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 4: your life, and that limits choice exactly. And so there

608
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 4: is a grief that's how many choices one has access, that's.

609
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: It, Yes, And there's a grief there, right that we

610
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: have to somewhat because what I've been thinking about it is, okay,

611
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 2: so I'm forty, and then I'm fifty, then I'm sixty

612
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 2: years at some point, like I can imagine being sixty

613
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 2: or seventy, the choices feel even less because they actually are,

614
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: if we're being honest, they are, and they're different, They're

615
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: different and very different. Yeah, and so we have to

616
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 2: find a way, like you said, we've got to sit

617
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: with it and hold it because yeah, yeah, so I

618
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 2: think that's that's.

619
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:27,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, and even as and that I think there's big

620
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 4: ways that that happens, right, because now also there are

621
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 4: things that happen that you don't choose, right, there are

622
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 4: for especially health related body related.

623
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

624
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 4: You know, something we did expand on in our Mystery

625
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 4: episode was that both of us live with chronic pain

626
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 4: and navigating what it is to do that right for

627
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 4: your whole life and to be an optimist and to

628
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 4: be you know, someone that is people that are profoundly

629
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 4: into self work and self actualization and the part that

630
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 4: that kind of pain and you know, to kind of

631
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 4: weave that back into where we are with.

632
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: Choice, It's like, you do have less choices right.

633
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 4: In your health and in what goes on with it,

634
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 4: and you don't if you need a surgery, if something

635
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 4: doesn't work in the same way anymore, if now you

636
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 4: can't do certain things because your body can't tolerate it,

637
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 4: or you have to do more things you don't necessarily

638
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 4: want to do because you need it, and yeah, there is, yeah, there,

639
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 4: I think there is a very there is a burdening

640
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 4: that happens as and we're still very young. We're so young, right,

641
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 4: burdening that happens at every new decade, and a removal

642
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 4: of access to certain choices and certain possibilities. It does

643
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 4: change form, but we have to make peace that you're

644
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 4: now in a different category of choices and the choices

645
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 4: you make are within a certain structure.

646
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: You know what's good about it though, because I'm thinking

647
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 2: about it as you're talking. This is so good. This

648
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 2: idea of the choices are the thing is and you

649
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: talk to older women and things like that, but it's

650
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 2: like things are so simplified for them. It's like as

651
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 2: they get more and more simple, you're okay with less choices,

652
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 2: do you know what I'm saying. So maybe that's the

653
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 2: beauty and.

654
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,439
Speaker 1: You're grateful for the space and the east.

655
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 2: Right and the because you don't want to have.

656
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,240
Speaker 1: My grind when I had Hella choices.

657
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, so malnourished and exhausted and poorly treated.

658
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: You know, this is interesting.

659
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 2: That's good for me right now because I'm like, girl,

660
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 2: actually it's okay, you know, like you don't really want

661
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 2: to have all those choices, you know what I mean.

662
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 2: Simplify it down a little bit. I mean, yeah, I

663
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 2: got to sit with this and think on this.

664
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,439
Speaker 4: This is and it's interesting and I think I there's

665
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 4: so much value and just paying attention to other women

666
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 4: in your life or within the mainstream that you see

667
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 4: that you know who everyone kind of becomes or how

668
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 4: they experience it at different ages. I think it's interesting,

669
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 4: especially as we talk about beauty. This is so fascinating,

670
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 4: Like I think there are so many different pathways women

671
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 4: take with how they relate to their personal beauty or

672
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 4: not right Like, at certain ages, I think there's some

673
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 4: women that decide they don't want to participate with it anymore,

674
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 4: and there is like maybe even.

675
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: A rejection of it.

676
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 4: So you do physically kind of see them showing up

677
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 4: very differently, and depending on what else is present for

678
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 4: some women, that might also be like a depression and

679
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:50,280
Speaker 4: a not kind of caring about the physical self anymore.

680
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 4: At certain ages, then I think you also see like

681
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 4: and this meant might be just my projection, but you

682
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 4: see some women that.

683
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: Kind of.

684
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 4: Decide to hunker down even more and say, no, I'm

685
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 4: gonna dress and look like I'm twenty till I get

686
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 4: out of here, and I want to be received like

687
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 4: I'm twenty as well, like I want, you know, the

688
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 4: men in the room to have eyes on me, and

689
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 4: I want and there is and sometimes you know the

690
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 4: way that I've witnessed that it is a lack of

691
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 4: self actualizing, so there's a lack of wisdom to draw from.

692
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: So there is this deep like kind of digging your

693
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 4: feet in the sand around not letting go of that

694
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 4: singular piece of your identity, which is usually like a

695
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 4: desire to be sexy or to still get the same

696
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 4: level of attention. And I think that's a grieving that's

697
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 4: going to come for every woman too. It's like the

698
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,760
Speaker 4: attention is gonna shift, and that's.

699
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 2: Not for the young girls in the you know, and.

700
00:41:54,760 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 4: Just yet we're in different ecosystems, right, and so it's like, yeah,

701
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 4: how do you still love your life without some of

702
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 4: those little thrilling moments, right or those those little piece

703
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 4: those little fuels that have surrounded your physicality. Then I

704
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 4: think there's women that and this is where I think

705
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 4: I would like to be.

706
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: This is my intention.

707
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 4: But the women that are kind of blending, allowing their

708
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 4: beauty to evolve and what they see is beautiful about them, right,

709
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 4: And it doesn't have to be about like breasts or

710
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 4: hips or ass or sex or you know, like lots

711
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 4: of makeup or outfits. Like sometimes it's about the way

712
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 4: you know yourself.

713
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: And your curves or the way a curl.

714
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 4: Falls, or you know, certain certain more mystique things about

715
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: yourself and so you lean into that in a lot

716
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:58,800
Speaker 4: of elegance and creativity.

717
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 2: And that's that's where I want to be too. And

718
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 2: I'm looking at you and I'm looking at me, and

719
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 2: it's like denim and a te and you.

720
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying, well, please jewelry.

721
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a it's a it's a more simplified approach.

722
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: And really the beauty is in the living, and it's

723
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 2: in like, you know, the way I see the world.

724
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 2: It's the wisdom that I'm collecting. You know, that's the

725
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 2: beauty I want. And as a former skinny mini, you know,

726
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 2: I am embracing.

727
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 4: I don't never know that life has not been my life,

728
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 4: so God bless you, but.

729
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: But I mean and honestly, growing up as a skinny mini,

730
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 2: like you know, your your body image is messed up too,

731
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: because everybody's like, you're so skinny, You're so skinny. So

732
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: that being my identity forever and now being the size

733
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 2: I am, most people would see me and be like, oh,

734
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 2: you you know, it looks normal or whatever. I'm like, yeah,

735
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 2: in my mind, I feel away a different person, a

736
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 2: different a very different person. But in my I'm embracing

737
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 2: I like being a fluffy like you know what I mean.

738
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: I like the softness that I like it and so

739
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,800
Speaker 2: thank you. So it's like, yes, it's embracing the age.

740
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: It's embracing the wisdom, like I'm more grateful for the

741
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 2: wisdom and I would rather hold on to that than

742
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: like not having ringhold truly here or you know what

743
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I would rather keep that.

744
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be an elder, like I can't

745
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: even I've been waiting my whole life for this.

746
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have been waiting, my it's so it's so funny. Also,

747
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 4: I want to acknowledge that those kind of three archetypes

748
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 4: I listed, or not all of them, like there's so

749
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 4: many more, but you know, moving on. When I was

750
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 4: like younger, and people would ask me like who do

751
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 4: you want to be? Like what do you want to

752
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 4: be in the future? At every age and I only

753
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,879
Speaker 4: realized this lately. At every age, I envisioned myself as

754
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,800
Speaker 4: woman with long white hair with a circle of younger

755
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 4: people around me sharing interesting stories. That's wild, And people

756
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 4: would be like, what do you want to be who

757
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 4: do you want to be? And for me, it was

758
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 4: never about one thing, like I never saw my.

759
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: Life that way ever.

760
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 4: Ever, it was I always like would respond and say, like,

761
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 4: I just know I'm going to have so many stories

762
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 4: to tell about my life and my experiences. Listen, and

763
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 4: like that was my answer from like ten, like childhood,

764
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 4: and the visualization I always got and I still get

765
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 4: the same visualization now is just me being an elder,

766
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 4: me being a wise woman and just you know, no

767
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 4: makeup on my face, long white hair, and just talking

768
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,800
Speaker 4: and conversing with people about life.

769
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 2: So funny you say that, because I know my girlfriends

770
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 2: are listening. They're like, that's the same thing. Brandy's like

771
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,360
Speaker 2: that's wow, that's me. Like I want to be And

772
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 2: I imagine a porch and a rocking chair, right, that's

773
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 2: the setting I see, and yeah, that's what I would

774
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: love to do. And like, let me go show you

775
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: how to plant these plants and you know what I'm saying,

776
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 2: and I get our hands in some dirt. But yeah,

777
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: I same And I always think, and this is the

778
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: part of me that I want to live, like I

779
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 2: want to have the experiences because I always think when

780
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 2: I'm a seventy five year old woman like, yeah, am

781
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: I gonna regret that thing? Probably not? Yeah, probably I'm

782
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: gonna be like, oh that was that was fun. That

783
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 2: was a good experience. Like, I truly want to lean

784
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 2: into the things, into the living. And I think because

785
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 2: I want to be that seventy five year old woman

786
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 2: who lives so I can talk to those young girls

787
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 2: and be like, let me tell you, you know, so

788
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 2: that they can know like you're gonna be fine. Yeah,

789
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 2: you're gonna make it through. You're gonna get to this

790
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 2: space too. So yeah, I relate to that.

791
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.

792
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

793
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,439
Speaker 4: I feel like I've been yeah, playing with it now too,

794
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,800
Speaker 4: Like I'm letting my grades come in where they are

795
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 4: and I'm just like, let's.

796
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: See what this all looks like.

797
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 4: Let's take a peek. I might change it. I might not,

798
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 4: but like, I'm just like taking it in for now and.

799
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 1: We'll see deeply.

800
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:11,839
Speaker 3: Well.

801
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 1: One of the things.

802
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 4: We were talking about before we walked in was the

803
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 4: invisible loads, right, and I think like now, kind of

804
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 4: socially and certainly, there's just so many really profound like

805
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 4: thought pieces and articles and research that are.

806
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: Showing and kind of quantifying the.

807
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:44,959
Speaker 4: Emotional loads we all carry, right the invisible loads, the things.

808
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: That are going on underneath the surface.

809
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 4: And there's been some things coming out about, you know,

810
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 4: for women, especially stay at home moms, like how much

811
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 4: work you actually are doing every day all day.

812
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

813
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 4: But I think something we were talking about was like,

814
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 4: when you are someone that gives and pores, you know,

815
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 4: the world does not know. I think, how many other

816
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 4: things are going on in your life?

817
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: Like you have as many things.

818
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 4: Going on in your life as everyone else and more

819
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 4: because if you are in the role of kind of

820
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 4: the wise person in your ecosystem or the healer, or

821
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 4: you actually see clients or you guide retreats and you're

822
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 4: in person with people and their processes.

823
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: It is it's a lot.

824
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 4: It's glorious, so grateful, and it's quite a lot. And

825
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 4: you have to also pack in a lot of time

826
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 4: to kind of recover from those experiences and literally tend

827
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: to your physicality and your body. And a lot of

828
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 4: us deal with chronic pain or autoimmune or have various things.

829
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,919
Speaker 4: And I was thinking today when we were talking, because

830
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:56,760
Speaker 4: school just started.

831
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 1: It's back to school this week. Are yours back in school?

832
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,959
Speaker 2: Yet they start next week? And next week.

833
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, this is very early, y'all. To be back

834
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 4: in school in August is insane to me. But so

835
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 4: you know, my little one went back to school on

836
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 4: Monday and he started second grade.

837
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: And like, I love our community, like we.

838
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 4: Have the just such a special like school community. But

839
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 4: something I realized, because I decided to kind of after

840
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,439
Speaker 4: I got back from the book tour, was really take

841
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 4: it easier in my July and August so that I

842
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 4: could have a lot of time to just really be

843
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 4: in summer with my boy. So we'd start every morning

844
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 4: slowly and like he'd come lay in bed with me.

845
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 1: We have slow breakfasts, we.

846
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 4: You know, take long walks, and my nervous system changed completely.

847
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 2: I'll bet it did.

848
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 4: So now you start back at school, I'm thirty thirty

849
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 4: five minutes in traffic NonStop to drop them off. And

850
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 4: then the second you get to school, you're surrounded by

851
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 4: at least a couple hundred other human beings before eight

852
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 4: o'clock that you're talking to, you know, and then you

853
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 4: have all the other kind of loads. If your child

854
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 4: is active, like I'm in a bunch of like different

855
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 4: groups within the school. I've signed up to volunteer to

856
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 4: help to He has basketball, he has karate, he has art,

857
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 4: he is swimming, and I was like, oh my god,

858
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 4: Like the day he started school, my life opened up

859
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 4: to now being in regular communication with at least one

860
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 4: hundred additional people for the next nine months. I love

861
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 4: all of it. I'm grateful for all of it. Like

862
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 4: this is my dream, Like literally, this is my dream

863
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 4: for me and my child.

864
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: And as an.

865
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 4: Ambiavert who also works NonStop and as a single mom.

866
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my god, it's a lot and no

867
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: one sees it.

868
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, no they don't. And it's true for all of us.

869
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 2: And I think we do it almost on autopilot because

870
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 2: we have to. And I think that's the part that

871
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 2: we have to like turn like, no, I'm not going

872
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 2: to do this on autopilot. I'm going to be aware

873
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 2: of the hundred people, like you said, and I'm gonna

874
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 2: like walk in that awareness so that if it starts

875
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 2: to feel like too much, I know that I need

876
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 2: to like pull back, go recharge as opposed to like

877
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 2: getting it. And I'm telling I'm saying this like to myself,

878
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: like okay, because I'm starting back in a couple of

879
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: weeks with my kids as well, like, let's not turn

880
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 2: this school year into this big auto pilot party where

881
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 2: I'm just dropping I'm doing drop offs, I'm doing this,

882
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm doing that.

883
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: Birthday parties, the birthday parties.

884
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and so kind of trying to practice awareness

885
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: and presence even in those little moments and remembering like

886
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 2: my son's only going to be in first grade one time.

887
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 2: My daughter, she's a sophomore in high school this year.

888
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 2: I have three solid years of her being in my

889
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 2: home under my care guaranteed, you know. So yeah, I

890
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 2: think it's that because there's this invisible load. I think

891
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:12,240
Speaker 2: we also, like you said, are pouring in these careers

892
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 2: where we love the work we get to do, but

893
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: in many ways we are taking on a lot of

894
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 2: other people's loads too in addition to ours. And grateful

895
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,280
Speaker 2: for the work, you know, but it is a lot. Yeah,

896
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 2: it's a lot.

897
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 1: And it's not actually physically feasible.

898
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 4: Right because I know, like one area of my life

899
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 4: that dips is me on social media, like because I

900
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 4: don't actually enjoy it, Like it's the thing that for

901
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 4: me is the easiest to kind of like go of.

902
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 4: But I understand and I hear and have heard feedback

903
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 4: that that's challenging for people that are in community, want

904
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 4: to be in community with me, even listeners of this show,

905
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 4: like it's challenging to not have the same kind of

906
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 4: interaction that may happen with other people or in other

907
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 4: spaces on other shows. But it's like there literally just

908
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 4: isn't the time right, And so it's like, I can't

909
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 4: do everything I've.

910
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: Just described, stay alive, live with.

911
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 4: Chronic pain, have joined my heart and listen to God

912
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 4: and have this space to hear God and be able

913
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 4: to read every DM I get right or respond to

914
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 4: everything like I can't. I can't, And I know it's

915
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 4: counterintuitive to this specific time, but that's an additional like

916
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 4: thousands of people that you are corresponding with that you

917
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:43,919
Speaker 4: don't actually know that.

918
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 1: It's just like it's it is a.

919
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 4: Tremendous amount of additional work in addition to the actual

920
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 4: work that you're giving and doing that even allowed people

921
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 4: to find you in the first place. It's picking up

922
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 4: extra jobs and I just that is not what I'm

923
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 4: called to and I can't and I have to. And

924
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,399
Speaker 4: granted that means you know, you may not be able

925
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 4: to scale in certain ways or have success in certain

926
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 4: metrics or certain visibility and to be just so fully,

927
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 4: completely honest from the depths of my heart. I am

928
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 4: so clear about that. Yeah, And that is more than

929
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 4: okay for me, Like that is that is my intention then,

930
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:33,760
Speaker 4: because that's it's either that or have all of the joy,

931
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 4: the space, the clarity, the presence that my son deserves

932
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,720
Speaker 4: to have with me that you know, my my family,

933
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 4: my friendships, like it.

934
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: I can't do both.

935
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 4: I can't do both well and I want to do

936
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 4: things well in my life, and so I have to choose,

937
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:56,799
Speaker 4: and I do.

938
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's it's so important because and

939
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 2: I say that all the time because you know, people

940
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 2: are like, you can do it all and you don't.

941
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 1: Have to choose.

942
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 2: Like you know too, it's like, okay, okay, see how that.

943
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 2: Go ahead and do it all and see how that

944
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: works out for.

945
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: You because you can't do the same you can't.

946
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: Do it at the same time. And that's what I

947
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 2: always say. You can do it all, yes, but do

948
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,399
Speaker 2: one thing and then check that off and then move

949
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 2: to the next thing, or like in different seasons, focus

950
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,279
Speaker 2: on you know, when my.

951
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 4: Son's in college, I'm gonna have a lot of time

952
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 4: that might be where I'm able to like answer ten

953
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 4: years worth of d go all the way back, right,

954
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 4: But like, yeah, now it's it's not possible.

955
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you get to choose because for me, I

956
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 2: like to create on social media, like I like to

957
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 2: you know, share my words and that that's enjoyable for me.

958
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 2: But then like when I have to keep up with

959
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 2: like metrics and how.

960
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 4: To do it and algorithm and can am I getting

961
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 4: enough likes? Or like life is so stressful as it is,

962
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 4: I absolutely refuse to add stress about a social media

963
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:03,799
Speaker 4: network to my life.

964
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 1: I refuse.

965
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 2: I can't do it, Like I can't sign up for it.

966
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 2: It's wild, and especially when you really know what it's

967
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 2: doing to us anywhere, Like yeah, so I am like

968
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 2: showing up there, and to your point, like I don't

969
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 2: get to do what I do if I don't show

970
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 2: up there. Yeah, that's the part, right, And so I'm

971
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:22,439
Speaker 2: like right now.

972
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: Like it's, yeah, what am I going to do? This

973
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 1: is the conundrum?

974
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 4: Right, And I think and I think we are all

975
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 4: engineering so many new frontiers right that that just were

976
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 4: not on the table in our childhood at all, Like

977
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 4: social media started via Facebook when I was a sophomore

978
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 4: in college. Right, So, like, this is not how we

979
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:49,720
Speaker 4: grew up thinking anything would be, most especially work, because

980
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 4: there was a divide prior to my adult life. There

981
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 4: was a turning work off once you got home. And

982
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 4: that is the that what is the evolutionary path that

983
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 4: I was trained to believe I was on. So it

984
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,359
Speaker 4: is challenging to now say there is never an off,

985
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 4: and you also have to not just serve with your work,

986
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 4: but now serve in a bigger capacity when people like

987
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 4: your work. Yep.

988
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: And it's like it's that it's hard.

989
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: It's hard. And I think we see a lot of

990
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 2: people going back to nine to fives because I want

991
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 2: to get home and I want to turn it off. Yeah,

992
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 2: like after five. I remember when I taught for eleven years.

993
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: I talk English, and I remember getting home and turning

994
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 2: on Oprah. Yes, sometimes I miss that life channel seven.

995
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, man, listen, like I missed that so

996
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 2: much sometimes, Like and I was not the teacher that

997
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 2: brought stuff home, Like if it didn't get work done

998
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 2: in my work hours, then I mean, god, sweet, Like

999
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. I'm home, I'm home. So

1000
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 2: but now, yeah, it's twenty four to seven, you know,

1001
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 2: and some of the habits of like waking up and

1002
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 2: getting right to it, and I'm like trying to break

1003
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 2: that so bad because especially with the state of the world,

1004
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 2: I open my phone and it's some bad news And

1005
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 2: now my day started that way, like you know what

1006
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 2: I'm saying. And so I do miss the old days

1007
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 2: in that way. And I know, like you had you

1008
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 2: said you got a landline.

1009
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 1: Oh yes, girl, I'm.

1010
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 2: Looking like I'm like, okay.

1011
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: No, that's been a game changer.

1012
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 4: So in my house, for anyone that doesn't know, I

1013
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 4: got landline phones, I have like three spread throughout my house.

1014
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 4: Got a home phone number, only a few people have it.

1015
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,919
Speaker 4: And I got clocks like I actually I was at

1016
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 4: the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and in the

1017
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 4: gift shop that's where I find so many treasures, oh the.

1018
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 2: Best, Oh my god god, museum gift shops, and I.

1019
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 4: Saw these clocks that they had in there, and so

1020
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 4: I got all these clocks and I put one in

1021
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 4: every room in my house so that I don't have

1022
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 4: to use my phone, I don't have to look at

1023
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 4: I also always wear a watch, but I don't have

1024
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 4: to use my phone to see what time it is,

1025
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 4: and then I'm tricked into using it, and.

1026
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: Then I can really be off because.

1027
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 4: If my family, my best friends, and my son's school

1028
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 4: can reach me, it's fine, Everything's okay.

1029
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 1: And I set up a voicemail. I put a song

1030
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: on my voicemail.

1031
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 4: No, yes, I did it, like so old school Grace Jones,

1032
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 4: Leaven Rose.

1033
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 2: I love it.

1034
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 4: But yeah, like I doing that has been really special

1035
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 4: and substantial. It's really had an effect. And I think

1036
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 4: for me in this season, I'm really trying to reclaim

1037
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 4: my natural life.

1038
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 1: Like if social media.

1039
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 4: Hadn't been invented, right, like, if everything about life didn't

1040
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 4: turn into interacting with the internet at all times.

1041
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 1: How would I feel like?

1042
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 4: And I because I still have memories of that were

1043
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 4: the last generation too, and I'm so grateful because I

1044
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 4: have about twenty years of memories of that. I have

1045
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 4: really been looking to savor it and to like really purposefully.

1046
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 1: I also bought two radios.

1047
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 4: So I have one radio downstairs one radio upstairs, and

1048
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 4: I just have it running on like a classical or

1049
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 4: old school or talp case or w here in la

1050
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 4: station and it's just on in the background, and I

1051
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 4: don't have to choose it. Like that's what I love

1052
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 4: about the radio, versus throwing on a playlist, which I

1053
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 4: do too. Y'all know how I feel about selection. But

1054
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 4: I don't have to make any choices when the radio's on.

1055
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 4: I don't have to interact with my phone. I don't

1056
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 4: have to choose the playlist. I don't have to put

1057
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 4: another one on, keep.

1058
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 2: Going back and hidden next or whatever.

1059
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: It's not about what I control in any way.

1060
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 4: I don't even know if a song I like is

1061
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 4: gonna come on right, Like I don't know when it's

1062
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 4: going a commercial. I needed those levels of natural surprise

1063
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 4: to come into my life, of like, and it's honestly

1064
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 4: like really been now that i'm thinking about it, Like

1065
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:56,720
Speaker 4: it's really been kind of life changing to my body

1066
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:57,960
Speaker 4: and my nervous system.

1067
01:00:58,360 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 1: My son and I we don't use screen.

1068
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 4: I just pop on the radio in the background, really

1069
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 4: low and like it's a companion to whatever else you're

1070
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 4: doing in the house and.

1071
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 2: So good, like I, yeah, I would love to make

1072
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 2: that switch. And because I think we wouldn't, like, our

1073
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,480
Speaker 2: friends had to call us, and that's how we knew

1074
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 2: what was going on. So we're having that interaction. We're talking,

1075
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 2: oh my god, you didn't know nothing.

1076
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,439
Speaker 1: You didn't know anything. You didn't know what I don't

1077
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 1: have so much?

1078
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 2: We know too much, Oh my god, which which causes

1079
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:37,400
Speaker 2: us to judge, to compare. Right, it's messy and.

1080
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 1: It's too much.

1081
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 2: We're feeling too much and we're all over the place

1082
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 2: in our nervous systems are a wreck, like yeah, and

1083
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 2: it's like we have to we have to stop and

1084
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 2: take control of it. And we can, right, we can,

1085
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 2: like just like you did, get a landline, get a radio,

1086
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 2: introduce that. And I love like antiques and stuff anyway,

1087
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,320
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like, oh, give me a

1088
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 2: relic baby, Oh my gosh. So you know what I mean.

1089
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 2: But getting back to that old squad, do feel so

1090
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 2: blessed to have had some of that? Yeah, you know

1091
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 2: what I mean a lot of that growing up. I

1092
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 2: tell my daughter because she you know, this generation wants

1093
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 2: to wear headphones. Yeah every day all day. Take them

1094
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 2: off like yes, so the other way.

1095
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 4: And they're beautiful to have when you need to come

1096
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 4: back in and have kind of I'm back in my body.

1097
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 4: I'm in my own kind of space.

1098
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 1: Feeling. Yeah, but it can also like really isolate.

1099
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 2: It isolates, And so we had a conversation. She was

1100
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 2: not happy with me. I was like, they are not

1101
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 2: allowed in the car if it's just me and you,

1102
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 2: we're not on a long road trip, leave them. If

1103
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 2: we're going in a grocery store, yeah, take them off

1104
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 2: because you're not even having to yes, And like if

1105
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 2: someone walks up to you, you know, you're not even looking

1106
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 2: at them. It's like you're living in your own ways.

1107
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 2: So she doesn't realize it because this is how is natural,

1108
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 2: this is her natural life. And so yeah, we're pushing

1109
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 2: pum like, no, you don't understand. You don't even know

1110
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,160
Speaker 2: how to look someone in the eye and smile with

1111
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 2: your eyes because you're in your own little world in

1112
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 2: your headphones. Take them off.

1113
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:12,959
Speaker 4: These are going to be skills that are so rare

1114
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 4: and necessary as humanity changes forms, Yes.

1115
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 2: Because it's changing and we can't do anything about it, right,

1116
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 2: Like it's changing form. But what we can do is

1117
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 2: like and still, this guy the other day was like

1118
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 2: just teaching your child the difference between fact and opinion,

1119
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 2: like some of the things that we take so like wow,

1120
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 2: you know, like they're not growing up with that. They're

1121
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 2: not that's not a part of their So yeah, yeah,

1122
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 2: I think that that gift of having a little bit

1123
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 2: of both the old school and the new school, I

1124
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,880
Speaker 2: think I think we're favored in that way our generations.

1125
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's important to remember and honestly, it's important

1126
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 4: to teach, like through role modeling and behavior like this.

1127
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 4: I know this seems these seem like the only paths

1128
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,919
Speaker 4: and way to live right now, but there are.

1129
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 1: Other ways like that are always available.

1130
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:07,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it can tap into and because yeah, you're

1131
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 2: gonna need to know. And I always think, like I

1132
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 2: just pray my child knows that there's she can believe

1133
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 2: in something. There's something greater than all this stuff that's

1134
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 2: being fed to her, right, Yeah, that she can anchor

1135
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 2: and send to herself inside of herself and her own beliefs,

1136
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 2: not the influences. It's so loud in the world, you

1137
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,880
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, can she sit still with

1138
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 2: herself and hear from herself and hear from God? You

1139
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 2: know what I mean? So, yeah, that's that's stuff I

1140
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 2: sit with. That's some of that that invisible load.

1141
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, right, because when you want to parent.

1142
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 4: Well you're thinking, oh so deeply about your children and

1143
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,240
Speaker 4: all the layers.

1144
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 2: Oh, it's heavy, and those are the parts where in Okay,

1145
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 2: So this this conversation where women are like not wanting

1146
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,600
Speaker 2: to have children anymore. And I have to admit that

1147
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 2: I've been a person who has said, you know what,

1148
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 2: if I could do it all again, I probably wouldn't, right,

1149
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 2: like because and not because it's so hard to parent,

1150
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 2: because I love them so much. It hurts that part,

1151
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 2: right But now, and I'm so glad I can say

1152
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 2: this here. I think that I was wrong because my

1153
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 2: kids are with me for eighteen to twenty years. If

1154
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,840
Speaker 2: I look at the whole, like if I live eighty years,

1155
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:23,280
Speaker 2: that was nothing flies, It flies, and I got to

1156
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 2: love someone so much that it hurts. Yeah, I wouldn't

1157
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 2: take that back, you know what I mean? So yeah,

1158
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 2: I mean, but you do you love them? You think

1159
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 2: about everything, uh, you think about everything you say, do,

1160
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 2: how you move, and it is a load. It's a load.

1161
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 2: But it's again it's like, oh, but what a beautiful,

1162
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 2: rich experience that we get to live and have.

1163
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:52,360
Speaker 4: It's a very thick added layer to the lived experience.

1164
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:57,000
Speaker 4: And now it really really is it's like, yeah, even

1165
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,760
Speaker 4: like thinking of like you know when you do have

1166
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 4: to travel for work, right and and kind of wrestling

1167
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 4: with the guilt of it, wrestling with but also the

1168
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 4: need for it and sometimes the freedom in it.

1169
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 2: The freedom. Yeah, And I think it's a good example

1170
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,760
Speaker 2: for our children. I was thinking about this driving here

1171
01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 2: because they were like, where are you going, mommy, And

1172
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to work. So that's all long.

1173
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 2: I'm going to work because every day is something different. Yeah,

1174
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 2: I just work. Yeah, I'm going to work. But I

1175
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:29,800
Speaker 2: think for my daughter, I don't feel I like going

1176
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:33,320
Speaker 2: and living my life and her witnessing that because that

1177
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 2: is all I want for.

1178
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 4: Her, and that teaches her how to be a woman, right, Like,

1179
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,360
Speaker 4: not through theory, not through talking at her, Like she

1180
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:43,560
Speaker 4: is witnessing woman. She's witnessing and it's going to be

1181
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 4: so like everything the way you interact with people, the

1182
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:50,040
Speaker 4: way you negotiate a deal, the way you pick your

1183
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 4: outfit and shopping, the she's like the way he's glued

1184
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 4: in you hear all of it. She is like she's

1185
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 4: watching it all. She's picking up and so I'm like, great,

1186
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,480
Speaker 4: because I always say I want you to go live

1187
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 4: like overseas, like go study abroad and like live your

1188
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,560
Speaker 4: life freely, and so yeah, I.

1189
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 1: Was such a beautiful, amazing daughter.

1190
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I appreciate that. It's a it's

1191
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:16,040
Speaker 2: an experience, you know, raising a daughter, and so I,

1192
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 2: you know, I just want her to know that she

1193
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 2: can choose. She has all these choices that she can make.

1194
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 2: Right now, she's fifteen, so she's got all the choices,

1195
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 2: you know, as ours are like closing in, she's like

1196
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 2: wide open. And I just want her to know that

1197
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 2: she has all those choices. I never want to limit her.

1198
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:36,920
Speaker 2: So I think for me, when I when the guilt,

1199
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: it doesn't really creep in as much really anymore when

1200
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:42,880
Speaker 2: I leave my children, because also know how to live

1201
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 2: and survive on your own, Because what if something were

1202
01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 2: to happen to mommy, God forbid. You know what I'm saying.

1203
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:50,800
Speaker 2: I want to know that you can be okay without me,

1204
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:55,440
Speaker 2: and I want to know that you can make Yeah. Yeah,

1205
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 2: so I'm not that mom that's like, don't I don't

1206
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 2: want to do all the things on my lie. I

1207
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,040
Speaker 2: want to live my life and I want them to

1208
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,440
Speaker 2: live their life. And I think that it's healthy and

1209
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 2: when I'm with them, like it's all cuddles all day,

1210
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

1211
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:14,560
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, it's so thank you for this very

1212
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 4: nuanced and robust conversation about womanhood and about motherhood and

1213
01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 4: about rest and about beauty.

1214
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:24,599
Speaker 1: Because these are the layers.

1215
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 4: And I think, you know, especially for those that are

1216
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,920
Speaker 4: on the path of self actualizing and also those that

1217
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 4: are on the teacher path, it's like, it's not just

1218
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 4: the work that you do on yourself, right, and I

1219
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:41,560
Speaker 4: think so many of us have spent so many years

1220
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:46,439
Speaker 4: doing the work on ourselves, right, But then it's the

1221
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:50,680
Speaker 4: layers of embodiment which come in these really beautiful thin sheets,

1222
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:53,840
Speaker 4: layer by layer. It's kind of like for anybody that

1223
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,839
Speaker 4: knows this reference, which this might be way too ancient,

1224
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:59,760
Speaker 4: but like if you ever at the nail shop and

1225
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 4: you like a silk wrap instead of a crylic and

1226
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:04,960
Speaker 4: what that looked like for them to lay down a

1227
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 4: piece of that silk and add the layer by layer

1228
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 4: and then it turns in Yeah, oh, that's probably so

1229
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 4: old of a reference, but it reminds me of my

1230
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:16,960
Speaker 4: beautiful auntie. Yeah, but it really is, you know, once

1231
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 4: you get some of those bigger mountains.

1232
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:20,520
Speaker 1: Out of you.

1233
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 4: You know, once you've made peace with some of those

1234
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:30,160
Speaker 4: you know, mythical creatures that have been roaring inside of you,

1235
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:32,679
Speaker 4: you get to a new level of what the quote

1236
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 4: unquote work is, and it is that slow, nuanced deepening

1237
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:44,880
Speaker 4: and embodying and observing and just getting into the fibers

1238
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:46,599
Speaker 4: of what you've become.

1239
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful, that's beautifully said. And again like just

1240
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:55,200
Speaker 2: what a blessing to get there? Yeah, you know what

1241
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:58,400
Speaker 2: I mean. I'm so grateful. I was driving here today,

1242
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:04,080
Speaker 2: as tired as I've been, exhausted, sad, heavy, I was

1243
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,599
Speaker 2: driving here and that stretched between the Getty and mulholland yes,

1244
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 2: there were tears. I was like, thank you God, thank

1245
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:16,240
Speaker 2: you God, because look at this blue sky and these

1246
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 2: mountains and this green Like.

1247
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:20,040
Speaker 1: How lucky am I?

1248
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:20,280
Speaker 3: How?

1249
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,479
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god, How lucky am I?

1250
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 2: How blessed? How fortunate? You know, even with the heaviness

1251
01:10:29,400 --> 01:10:32,639
Speaker 2: of the world, that I get to be alive at all?

1252
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,679
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying right now, right now

1253
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:41,559
Speaker 2: and with my mind intact, like you know what I'm saying, God?

1254
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, honestly, honestly, that is such after everything so

1255
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:49,960
Speaker 4: many of us have been through, especially in these last

1256
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:54,080
Speaker 4: five years, and the chaos that could be the next ten,

1257
01:10:55,000 --> 01:11:00,200
Speaker 4: it's like to have your mind, to have your emotion

1258
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 4: regulation intact, is miraculous, Like it is such a gift.

1259
01:11:05,280 --> 01:11:09,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even bigger your heart. If we can keep

1260
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:13,559
Speaker 2: our hearts soft and open and if they don't harden

1261
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:17,679
Speaker 2: in this hard world, that is that's that's a miracle,

1262
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:21,280
Speaker 2: you know. And and so yeah, to feel that feeling.

1263
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:24,280
Speaker 2: When I was in that stretch of that drive, I

1264
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 2: was like, yes, I'm still soft, I'm still here, I'm

1265
01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:32,160
Speaker 2: still aware, I'm still so grateful in spite of all

1266
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 2: of it, how complex it all is. I'm so grateful

1267
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:39,160
Speaker 2: to have my mind and my heart intact, you know.

1268
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:44,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, ah.

1269
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:47,479
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Thank

1270
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:48,320
Speaker 1: you for having me.

1271
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love being here. This is great. Yeah. The energy,

1272
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 2: your energy, your space, it's beautiful, your backyard. Listen, I'm like, oh.

1273
01:11:59,360 --> 01:11:59,599
Speaker 4: Just.

1274
01:12:01,439 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 1: Oh, keeps me saying it's dreamy.

1275
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:09,320
Speaker 4: Take up gardening everyone, okay please. And also something I

1276
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:13,200
Speaker 4: think I want to say to everyone listening is don't

1277
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:16,000
Speaker 4: take for granted the freedom we have in this moment

1278
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:19,439
Speaker 4: and the access we have. We don't actually know what

1279
01:12:19,479 --> 01:12:22,160
Speaker 4: the world is going to look like tomorrow.

1280
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:23,320
Speaker 1: Right, and.

1281
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:28,519
Speaker 4: Freedom changes, yes, right, And we are not exchanges, We

1282
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 4: are not exempt. And we are learning that by some

1283
01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 4: of the things that are changing that we thought were unchangeable. Yep, right,

1284
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:38,600
Speaker 4: some of the laws, some of the ways that the

1285
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:41,559
Speaker 4: government goes about doing things right, Like, there are things

1286
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:44,600
Speaker 4: that when we were in our social studies classes and

1287
01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:47,400
Speaker 4: our history is class is learning about checks and balances

1288
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:48,640
Speaker 4: and everything else.

1289
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:49,680
Speaker 2: Where are they?

1290
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:52,479
Speaker 1: We don't know nor what.

1291
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 4: Our lives are going to look like, so we can't

1292
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 4: take for granted. And I know it's hard to hold.

1293
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:03,840
Speaker 4: I know it's hard to look around and to hear

1294
01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:07,839
Speaker 4: the things in my God to see the things and yeah,

1295
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 4: it's hard to see and hold all of that and

1296
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:13,200
Speaker 4: also say I'm going to make time for beauty, I'm

1297
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 4: going to take a nice walk, or I'm going to

1298
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 4: do something special for myself. I know sometimes it feels

1299
01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:23,599
Speaker 4: wrong and impossible or you know, just not the right

1300
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:27,600
Speaker 4: choice to do those fair, unfair, that's so good, unfair,

1301
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:33,360
Speaker 4: But push yourself because we don't know long term what

1302
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 4: access we're gonna have to what, So get this in Like,

1303
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:39,720
Speaker 4: I am savoring the goodness of my life right now.

1304
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 2: Yes, please please please please.

1305
01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:43,800
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna have it while it's here.

1306
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:49,799
Speaker 2: Yes, please savor it. Please notice while we can. Yeah,

1307
01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:53,880
Speaker 2: all the beauty that there is and all the possibility

1308
01:13:53,920 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 2: that's still present. Use discernment, make wise choices, make generous choices,

1309
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:06,960
Speaker 2: but fuel up, fuel up, and made that fuel hold us, yeah,

1310
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 2: and keep us for the future that we can't see

1311
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:13,200
Speaker 2: and don't know. But I pray it holds us and

1312
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:16,160
Speaker 2: keeps us. We gotta literally stock up on the beauty.

1313
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:19,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, share it, share it, share it,

1314
01:14:20,479 --> 01:14:23,000
Speaker 4: build community, now, get connected.

1315
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.

1316
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:30,360
Speaker 4: Please check out Brandy's new book Sundays and other musings

1317
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:34,160
Speaker 4: available where you get your books, so beautiful. Thank you

1318
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:36,639
Speaker 4: so much, and please let everyone know how they can

1319
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:37,919
Speaker 4: best connect with you.

1320
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:41,879
Speaker 2: You know what. Instagram houses all the things Brandy Freely

1321
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:45,679
Speaker 2: on Instagram and Brandy Freely on all the other things

1322
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:49,479
Speaker 2: and dot coms and you know, yeah.

1323
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:51,160
Speaker 4: It'll all be in the show notes of this episode.

1324
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:53,800
Speaker 4: And Brandy of course not only has this book, but

1325
01:14:53,880 --> 01:14:56,120
Speaker 4: has her amazing Escapism retreat.

1326
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:57,040
Speaker 1: So if you are.

1327
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:59,479
Speaker 4: Feeling called to that there will be so much more

1328
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 4: information on how you can connect with the depth of

1329
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:06,040
Speaker 4: this writing, with the depth of this work, and really

1330
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,000
Speaker 4: cultivate your own beauty practice.

1331
01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:08,599
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1332
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:12,000
Speaker 4: Do you have any final thought or share a soul

1333
01:15:12,040 --> 01:15:13,240
Speaker 4: work for everyone listening?

1334
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:18,160
Speaker 2: M You know what, just this practice that we're talking about.

1335
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 2: Go out and find something beautiful and make it a

1336
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:24,880
Speaker 2: practice every day, even when it doesn't feel fair to

1337
01:15:24,960 --> 01:15:28,640
Speaker 2: do so, you know, do it anyway and stock up

1338
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:33,400
Speaker 2: on the beauty, look for the good. Yeah, I think

1339
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:36,559
Speaker 2: even for myself. Yeah, you know, just noticing it and

1340
01:15:36,600 --> 01:15:40,040
Speaker 2: being okay and telling myself it's okay to still dream.

1341
01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:43,040
Speaker 2: So it's okay to believe that maybe it can work

1342
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:45,800
Speaker 2: out and it can all be okay and it can

1343
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:48,360
Speaker 2: all be beautiful. It's okay to have that hope.

1344
01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:49,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1345
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:49,479
Speaker 1: Why not?

1346
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:50,559
Speaker 2: Why not have that?

1347
01:15:50,920 --> 01:15:52,640
Speaker 1: What is the what's the alternative?

1348
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1349
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:55,280
Speaker 1: Whatever happens is going to happen.

1350
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:58,559
Speaker 4: But I'm not going to like participate in my suffering

1351
01:15:58,680 --> 01:15:59,639
Speaker 4: and my own suffering.

1352
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,280
Speaker 2: No, I don't have to give up my hope and

1353
01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:03,360
Speaker 2: hand it over and say okay, you win. You know,

1354
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:05,640
Speaker 2: I don't have to do that. So hold on to

1355
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:10,720
Speaker 2: that hope and find some beauty in it. Yeah yeah, yeah,

1356
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:13,760
Speaker 2: thank you, Thank you, Debbie, Thank you for having me.

1357
01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:19,599
Speaker 4: So good, so good until next episode. Thank you everyone

1358
01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:21,960
Speaker 4: so much for listening. If you have a chance and

1359
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:25,120
Speaker 4: you connected with this episode, especially share with a friend.

1360
01:16:25,240 --> 01:16:28,320
Speaker 4: Who do you think could be served by this? If

1361
01:16:28,479 --> 01:16:32,640
Speaker 4: it is possible in your time space, please leave a

1362
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 4: rating and type up a review for the show for

1363
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:39,120
Speaker 4: Deeply Well. If you're listening on Apple, drop a comment.

1364
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:42,760
Speaker 4: If you are watching on YouTube, hello, and if you

1365
01:16:42,880 --> 01:16:46,719
Speaker 4: have gotten my new book, Living in Wisdom, please leave

1366
01:16:47,040 --> 01:16:51,479
Speaker 4: a review and give me some stars. Much love everyone,

1367
01:16:51,479 --> 01:16:54,120
Speaker 4: Thank you for listening, and we'll be back next week. Now.

1368
01:16:54,160 --> 01:16:55,880
Speaker 1: Mis stays.

1369
01:16:57,720 --> 01:17:01,720
Speaker 4: The content presented on Deeply Well solely for educational and

1370
01:17:01,840 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 4: informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement for

1371
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:10,360
Speaker 4: personalized medical or mental health guidance, and does not constitute

1372
01:17:10,439 --> 01:17:14,680
Speaker 4: a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advisable to

1373
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:18,439
Speaker 4: consult with your healthcare provider or health team for any

1374
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 4: specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect with

1375
01:17:23,320 --> 01:17:27,120
Speaker 4: me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,

1376
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:30,240
Speaker 4: or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com.

1377
01:17:30,320 --> 01:17:32,960
Speaker 4: And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts.

1378
01:17:33,040 --> 01:17:33,719
Speaker 1: Don't forget.

1379
01:17:33,920 --> 01:17:37,920
Speaker 4: Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this episode to

1380
01:17:37,960 --> 01:17:41,360
Speaker 4: a friend. Deeply Well is a production of iHeartRadio and

1381
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:45,919
Speaker 4: The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins,

1382
01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:50,639
Speaker 4: and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundbath You heard That's

1383
01:17:50,680 --> 01:17:56,160
Speaker 4: by Jarrelyn Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

1384
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:59,720
Speaker 4: visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your

1385
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:01,439
Speaker 4: favorite shows.