WEBVTT - A Masterclass in Networking— How Being Radically Generous Pays Off: with PR Expert Rachel Rischall 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:08.119 Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever, 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:12.320 pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:13.760 and I have conversations that. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:18.880 Put a new spin on pretty this is pretty smart. 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:22.360 Today we're going to find out how one woman turned 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:26.480 a cold LinkedIn message and coffee meeting into six hundred 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.720 thousand dollars in revenue, and how you can do it too, 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:34.360 just by networking. But before we get into the interview, 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.880 I want to share a little bit. So I really 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.599 wanted to cover this topic because I think it's integral 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:43.000 to success and I want us to succeed, and also 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:47.560 because I think we've gotten networking all wrong. When someone 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:49.440 says that word, the first thing that comes to my 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.640 mind is a bunch of people with name tags at 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.800 a Hyatt with Paisley Green carpet, drinking bad coffee and 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:58.240 shaking hands. And then I heard Mark Cuban talk about 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:02.520 networking and he said, people think it's about selling, but 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:08.280 really it's about helping. And that reframe, that's what it's 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:12.440 all about. What if instead of concerning ourselves with what 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.120 we can get from somebody, we ask ourselves what we 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.679 can give. I'll tell you a little bit about my 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:22.679 own experience with networking. I've always been a people person. 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.480 After I got my first job in TV and got 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:28.360 kind of like a baseline understanding of how things worked, 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.720 I promised myself to always make it about the people, 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.120 the people I worked with, the people I covered, the 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.679 people watching at home, and when I think back on 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:44.080 my career, the essential ingredient has always been people relationships. 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.120 When I first moved to LA from Chicago, I would 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.000 cold email people for coffee meetings. 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:50.960 I spent any extra time I. 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:54.600 Had finding people on LinkedIn, and honestly, I even stood 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.120 outside of an executive's office with coffee and doughnuts for 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.440 three mornings in a row to get a meeting with him. 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:01.960 One time, I just wanted a foot in the door. 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:05.000 I looked at all of the people I considered successful. 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:09.440 I saw that absolutely no one successfully does anything alone. 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:11.600 But if you don't want to stand outside of a 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.560 building with coffee and donuts, how do you meet people? 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.280 How do you get to know people? What do you 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.520 send in a proper cold email to connect? How do 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:24.920 you quote unquote network authentically. The first thing is to 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:29.200 abolish that word, because it definitely gives convention vibes. I 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.800 think we should rebrand it as relationship building, because that's 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:33.680 what it truly is. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.480 So I wanted to call on one. 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:42.120 Of the best relationship builders that I know, a twenty 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.480 year vet in public relations, Rachel Gilman. Rischel is the 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.000 founder of three PR. She works with huge national brands 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:53.120 and clients. She's an expert communicator with an innate passion 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:58.200 for finding, crafting, and sharing compelling stories. I went to 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:00.160 write about her and I saw that one of her 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:04.120 former clients wrote something that I think just captures her perfectly. Emily, 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:07.840 a CEO, says, Rachel is a force. Not only is 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.560 she extremely talented, her pitches could win Pulletzer prizes and 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.280 the most connected person I know she has somehow one 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:18.720 degree away from everyone, but she's also unbelievably loyal and dedicated. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.359 When Rachel works with a client, she's all in. 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.919 She becomes personally invested in your brand and it shows 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.880 through her constant hustle and celebration of your wins as 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:32.880 her own. Rachel knows how to form strong, valuable, long 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:38.320 lasting relationships. She's so generous. So today is a masterclass 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:43.160 in networking. Excuse me, let me try that again. Today 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:52.120 is a masterclass in relationship building, though, Rachel pr is 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:56.960 all about relationships. Your job is quite literally to ask 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.400 people for things all of the time, and I've never 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:03.280 seen anybody do it better with more grace and kindness 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:05.560 than you. But you say that people have the idea 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:06.720 of networking all wrong. 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:07.520 So what do you mean. 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:10.280 Well, first of all, thank you. You're so kind, and 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.160 I think that true. Everything that you just said really 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.520 warms my heart, so I appreciate it. But I think 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:21.279 people unintentionally view relationships very transactionally. People get caught up 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.480 in the moment and they think what can this person 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.360 do for me? And then they believe it's a one 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:30.440 off transaction and then they can move on. And I 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.080 really have a completely different mindset about it. I think 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:38.120 about relationships as endless possibilities and I really like to 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.240 hold on to people. I was thinking about this idea 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:44.080 of having a really expansive mindset about relationships and the 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:47.640 Hotel California, like, once you come in, you can never leave. 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.839 Oh I like that somebody that I really like or 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.159 I feel connected to, or I respect you, or we 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:56.280 have worked together, well, you are forever in my hotel 0:04:56.440 --> 0:05:00.160 relationships and you will always have a place there. I 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:02.719 really like to ensure that I don't work with people 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.280 in the way that one thing is done and we've 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:05.960 moved on and. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:06.720 The door closes. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:08.800 I really like to see how they can come back 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.960 to each other over and over again and it can 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:12.160 be mutually beneficial. 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:16.560 Well, you also are such a big giver. I've always 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.080 tried to be a giver too. I think Adam Grant 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:22.200 sort of has this theory where he talks about going first, 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:25.000 whether you're in a meeting or saying hello first, even 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:28.159 on a sidewalk. But people get so caught up, I 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:30.680 think in not wanting to give ideas a way. I 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.800 was actually at a brainstorm the other day and someone 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:37.320 said I haven't launched my project because I'm trademarking the idea. 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.039 And all I could think in my head was what 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:44.600 a waste of time? Because like, you can't like somebody's 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.520 always going to be doing things. You can't feel so 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.080 proprietary over your information, your ideas. 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:50.440 You just have to move and go. 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:55.119 And so you are the queen of giving, giving, giving, 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:58.719 even if you know that nothing could be in return 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:02.360 for you in the near or or long long future. 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:03.520 Where does that come from? 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:06.880 I think I should probably credit my mom because she's 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:09.760 one of the most emotionally generous people I know. But 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:13.520 I think over time, I've realized that you might not 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.479 get something back from somebody that you help, and that's okay, 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:18.800 but I believe in the scales of life and business 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.920 you will. So if you continually operate with the mindset 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.200 of I'm going to be generous with my time, my referrals, 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.039 my expertise, invariably it will come around and you too 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.000 will be the benefactor of somebody else's generosity. So I 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.279 think we're all playing as part of this game. But 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.680 it only works if you're a generous player. And when 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.200 I was launching my career and I had nothing to 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:43.159 bring to the table except a lot of questions, people 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:45.960 were very kind to me to have lunches and coffees 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:49.240 and resume feedback, and I soaked it all up and 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.560 I hope I was gracious, But to be honest, I'm 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.520 sure at certain points I fail to say thank you, 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.080 or I didn't really close the loop. Well because I 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:59.239 was twenty two and new to everything, But now sitting 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.880 almost twenty years later in my career, I feel really 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.160 morally obligated to pay it forward and help people. And 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.160 I was thinking of two silly examples recently. But this 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.160 past summer, I was on the plaza of the Today 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:12.480 Show for a family trip, and we were getting this 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.760 really cool experience of being on the plaza and hearing 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.400 a concert. And I watched this girl who was a 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.840 page for the Today Show make the rounds, and she 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.200 was doing their social media and taking pictures and grabbing content, 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.520 and I just remembered being a twenty two year old intern, 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.560 and so I started talking to her and asking her questions, 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:32.000 and she was sharing that she's really happy to be there. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:34.320 She hopes she gets hired full time. She's not sure 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:36.840 what's going to happen. Intern salary doesn't go very far 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:38.720 in New York. And I said, I know, I just 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.040 met you, but if you ever want to reach out 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:43.480 and talk about your career, I love helping young women. 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.480 I feel really invested in helping people move ahead. I 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:48.680 have a lot of friends in the business. So here's 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.920 my email address, and to her credit, she did email me, 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.360 and then we did a session working on her resume 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:57.280 and taking all this great experience she had had already 0:07:57.640 --> 0:07:59.640 but just reframing it to be a little bit more 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:02.480 impact fault. And then we stayed in touch and she 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:04.520 told me about her interview process and what she was 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:05.400 hoping would happen. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.960 And now she's staffing the green room at the Today Shows. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:09.920 She gets to work with all the talent that comes 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.400 in and all of the anchors, and she's so thoughtful 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:16.120 and thankful, and it makes me just like beam to 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.320 know that she's on this track. Maybe in ten years 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:21.240 she will be a big somebody at the Today Show 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.440 and I will be able to ask for some sort 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:26.400 of favor, but maybe not, and that's okay. I just 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:29.800 feel like I did a good deed and that can 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:31.760 be where it sits. I also just found out the 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:36.560 other day that my high school mentor's friend's granddaughter got 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:39.280 her first PR job because of an intro I made, 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:42.720 and that's like as many degrees as you can go. 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.040 But I'm so thrilled because your first PR job really 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.040 sets the temple for the rest of your career. And 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.440 I know she's going to be in great hands, and 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:53.559 I hope that in five, ten, fifteen years I get 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:56.480 to hear about her thriving. So I do that because 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:58.200 I feel like it's the right thing to do, but 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:01.839 people continually do it for me, so it all works out. 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:03.120 I feel the same way. 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:07.360 There's the kind of a rise in especially with gen Z. 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.240 I hear it a lot with being paid for your time, 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:13.480 and I still don't know how I feel about this. 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.440 I think a lot of people would say nowadays, you 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:19.200 have such an expertise twenty years in the business that 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.920 someone could call you and you could charge them for 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:24.120 thirty minutes of your time. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:26.560 I've never felt right about that. 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:28.720 I feel like you and I are on the same page, 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.679 not that if somebody does that it's wrong. I just 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.160 again like, don't feel like the scales work that way. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:37.160 Do you have any sort of thoughts on that. Have 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.000 you heard young people talk about this concept. 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:42.320 Yes, and I've heard my peers talk about it. 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:46.760 And I also feel a little bit of this dilemma 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:49.719 about it because I'm a huge advocate for knowing your 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.760 worth and being able to have sometimes an uncomfortable conversation 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:55.280 and say, actually, this is my fee, or if you 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:57.040 want me to do this, here's my rate. And I've 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:59.880 worked very hard to get over the uncomfortable hurdle of 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.640 telling people there's a cost attached. Right that being said, 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.240 As I mentioned, I really believe in emotional generosity and 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.760 trying to pay it forward. So I think I try 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:13.680 to evaluate each opportunity based on intent. So if this 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:16.680 is someone who's in college or newly out of college, 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.600 there's a strong connection between us. I'm doing a favor 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.120 for someone in my parents' network or whatnot, I'm not 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.679 going to charge them for it. But if somebody's coming 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.880 to me and they're bringing this expectation that I owe 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.680 them some information, or that I should feel fortunate to 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.439 have their time, or there's something going on where they 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.440 want to extract something from me, but I don't feel 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.400 like the intent behind it is great or for them 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:43.280 it really is a true transaction. I am more prone 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:46.320 to say here's an hourly rate, or to look for 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:48.080 a way to balance the scales a little bit, because 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.359 at the end of the conversation they might feel wonderful, 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.280 but I don't want to feel taken advantage of. 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:56.439 Oh that's interesting, So let's talk about that word transactional, 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.400 because you say that a short term approach like that 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:01.960 actually can hold you back in some ways. 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:04.480 Oh, I fully agree, and I see people do it 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:07.560 all the time. I'm amazed when I will connect with 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:10.120 somebody and I will end by saying, and I mean 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.280 this genuinely, Hey, keep in touch, like if you have 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.920 any questions, I'm happy to help you in the future. 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.120 I'm happy to look at materials. I'm happy to make introductions. 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:19.920 I do this constantly when someone comes to me through 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.120 a referral, and over and over again, people will not 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:26.080 continue the relationship. They will just drop off entirely, and 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.880 I think, what a loss. We never know what could transpire. 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:33.520 On the flip side, I find it so impressive when 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.040 people hold on for the long haul. My brother calls 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:40.320 it staying power. I love those relationships. And let me 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:44.160 give you a special example. I had a client who 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.840 had a recommendation for me. She said, I know somebody 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.480 really incredible that I think you should meet. And I 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.400 trust that when a client or somebody I really look 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.240 up to says you should meet someone, that's a lead 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:57.120 that I want to follow. 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.559 I know where this story is going, Rachel. 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.720 I was trying to sneak it by you, but that 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:03.560 was you. 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:07.560 You and I are a case study for a one 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.800 time introduction. You and I have met one singular time 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:11.400 for drinks. 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:14.000 So Jenny Petinkin when I did a show in Chicago. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.840 Jenny Patinkin is a beauty expert. She has her own 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.360 line of beauty products. But anyways, she was your client 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.000 at one point, and I loved her, and she had 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:24.920 us all have drinks, the three of us, and then 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.440 you and I probably stay in touch more than she 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:28.080 and I do. 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:31.719 I actually just saw Jenny for coffee last week and 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:33.160 I said, oh, I'll give you a shout out for 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.960 this amazing connection. But no, Jenny's wonderful, as are her 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.000 beauty products. But she was kind of insistent, like, you 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.319 have to meet Danielle. I really think you guys would click. 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.520 And so I try to listen to those suggestions. 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:45.040 If somebody says you have. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.400 To meet this person, I think there's usually a deeper reason. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:49.600 And Sun Up, I met you, and I felt really 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.680 at home with your energy. I really liked you as 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.640 a person. I thought we were really smart and articulate 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.560 and interesting. And you didn't let go and I didn't 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.640 let go. And so four years later, you've become a very. 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:00.520 Important to me. 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:05.600 Well, I think part of nurturing these relationships, especially with 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.840 new ones, is finding natural ways to reach out. I 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:12.000 think that is actually a big struggle for people. 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.599 It induces a little bit of social anxiety. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.520 How have you found natural ways to reach out and 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.920 sort of extend a hand when you meet somebody new. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.240 In a professional sense, or when I'm trying to continue 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:23.319 a friendship, No. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:24.439 In a professional sense. 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:27.720 Yeah, a lot of professional relationships turn into friendships, like 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:29.599 I think ours has turned into a friendship, but it 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.840 started professionally. One of the things I do is I'll 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.000 send people articles that I think are relevant to their 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:37.920 life if it makes I read the article and it 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:39.400 makes me think of them, or I think it would 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.880 be a value to them and it's just a quick email. 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.959 Are there things that you do that you think feel natural? 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.280 I like what you're doing. I think that makes sense. 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:49.800 I try to become a genuine fan if that makes sense. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.560 So if they oftentimes i'm working with journalists, if they 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.959 wrote something that I thought was really interesting or impactful, 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.440 I'm going to send them a note and genuinely complement it, 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.000 and I'm not going to ask for anything in rerich 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.320 I'm not pitching them. I just thought this was a 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.120 wonderful article. I really liked X, Y and Z about it. 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.640 Hope you're doing well. I try to stay apprized of 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.319 what's happening and in the least creepy way possible. 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:13.040 Have these touch points. 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.679 Somebody got promoted, you see it on LinkedIn, they make 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:19.120 some major announcement, you comment upon it, you think of 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.040 an introduction that would be beneficial to them. 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.000 So ooh, that's a big one. 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:23.760 Yeah. 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:28.080 So actually Ari Emanuel from WMME is famous for this. 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:34.040 He always makes intros before anybody asks. So he'll randomly 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:38.040 send emails and say, Jessica and John, I think you 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.920 guys should meet bah blah blahlah blah, and like he'll 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.360 just it's a quick, short email, and I think he 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:44.480 sends them out every week. 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:45.400 He'll do a few of them. 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.040 And that's a big one because you're really adding value 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:49.200 to somebody's life that way. 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:51.840 I think if you're him, you can just do that 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:56.040 without requesting the other person's permission. But I look like 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.200 from my universe, I usually double check that people are. 0:14:59.160 --> 0:14:59.840 Up for an intro. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.239 Well, that's a good point. 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:03.840 But I think it is an incredible gift when you 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.800 can say, yeah, the xually why you should meet and 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.600 here's here's what could come of it. So I have 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.360 a lot of freelance writer friends. I certainly pitch them 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.720 for my job, but I also know that their livelihood 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.400 depends on connecting to other editors who can hire them. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:21.120 So I'm always looking for ways to introduce people where 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:24.440 they can get more work. And it's like, if you 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:26.640 think about like as a bank account, I'm always trying 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:30.640 to make deposits so that I'm showing up for somebody else, 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.760 not asking for something, maybe not asking for a while, 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.480 but just demonstrating that I care about their well being. 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:37.840 I'm interested in them as a person. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.720 I want to see them thrive, and I think over time, 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.680 it develops a great, healthy professional relationship where you can 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.680 go back and forth and it stops feeling transactional and 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:51.160 it starts feeling like a thriving, mutually collaborative relationship. 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:52.680 So I love visuals. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.720 I know you mentioned the Hotel California, but you've said 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:58.080 that you picture relationships as a book. 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.480 You know my language. I like to think about things 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:01.840 in concrete terms. 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:04.600 So if you envision your relationships as a book, think 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.600 about all the chapters you're flipping through and all the 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:10.400 stories within that book. And you always want to ensure 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:12.640 you're ending a chapter on a great note too. I 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.720 really think it's wonderful to close out a chapter, whether 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.680 you're working together on a project, you are launching something together, 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:21.280 end that on a great note. 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:23.520 I try to always wrap up with a beautiful. 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.640 Thank you note so that the next time I connect 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:30.200 with somebody, our last correspondence was gratitude and me being gracious. 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:32.120 So that's really nice. 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.400 Literally just in touch with the Wall Street Journal doing 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.960 a fact check right before this. She said, the story's 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.320 running on Monday, So on my calendar for Monday, read 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.920 the story, send her a thoughtful note, let her know 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.840 much appreciate it, And then, of course I'm going to 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.160 ask her if she'll have coffee with me. She could 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.760 say no, she might say, like, stories done, what do 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:52.880 I need Rachel for? But she might say, hey, this 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.520 one pretty smoothly. Maybe Rachel has other ideas for me. 0:16:55.920 --> 0:17:00.680 I'm willing to foster a relationship as well. So gratitude, 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.960 and then if you can try to make an ask 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:04.800 so that you have another chapter to write together. 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.280 Wait, what do you mean? Make an ask so that like. 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.640 Could we meet for coffee? Could I other ideas your way. 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.600 Is there another way that I can help you? I 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:16.879 think we could close it out and just say, oh, 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:18.520 that was a great story. I really appreciate it, thank 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:21.919 you so much. My client's thrilled. But I want to 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.480 ensure that that's not the end of our story, and 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:26.479 so I will probably look for a way that we 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.360 can develop further. Even if she says I can't meet 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:31.720 for coffee, I might say, I'd love to send you 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:32.680 more ideas. 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.359 One of the things that I think I've seen you 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.600 do so well is the opposite of how can I 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.640 help you? Because it's that is such a nice sentiment, 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.679 and I would love if somebody emailed me how can 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.040 I help you? But also you're so much more proactive 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:53.080 than that. You send like really specific detailed ideas thoughts 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.480 like hey, have you thought of having this person on 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:56.280 your podcast? 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:58.200 Or have you seen this brand? 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:03.120 Or it's honestly general with creativity and ideas, and. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.160 I think that is so helpful. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.439 I know you and I were talking about the cold 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:13.480 email and being specific like that is exactly how I 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:17.080 actually got started. In LA's I would cold email people. 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:19.920 I didn't want the email to go to junk mails, 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.680 so I would research them, and I'd say, hey, Brandon, 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.280 I saw you were a political science major. I was too, 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.199 And then I'd go into a specific ask and I 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.880 thought they were much more apt to or much more 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.399 open to meeting or speaking on the phone. 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.560 So what do you do when you cold email people? 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:38.920 We share this passion for the cold email. I think 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:40.560 for a lot of people they break out in hives 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:43.360 and cannot stand the idea of having to email someone 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.000 they don't know with a request. But I've spent twenty 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:50.840 years sending emails nobody wants and gotten very comfortable with 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:56.240 no response, a no, or sometimes incredible things happening. I mean, 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.359 I got all the way into Oprah's Favorite Things from 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:02.840 cold email, and I'm still texting with Gil King a 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.320 year and a half later. I mean, there are some 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:09.200 really life changing, career shifting things that can happen from 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.440 sending the email that you're nervous to send. 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.520 And I can give you so many examples of that. 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.040 Do you have a few more that are top of mind? 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:19.879