Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Cranler and Michael.
Speaker 2: Coffin, and I'm her radio podcast wind Down.
Speaker 3: What's up, guys? How is everybody?
Speaker 4: I'm great?
Speaker 3: Mark Easton, how are you guys?
Speaker 1: I'm super good. It's my birthday week. I'm feeling great.
Speaker 4: It is your.
Speaker 2: Birthday week, which, by the way, Michael was doing some
Speaker 2: birthday shopping for you yesterday.
Speaker 3: Wait, when's Easton's birthday?
Speaker 1: It's July.
Speaker 5: November sixth.
Speaker 1: I'm a scorpio.
Speaker 2: November as my mom's Wait, so Mark, what does that
Speaker 2: make you then? Because July is that I'm still Gemini.
Speaker 1: Now I'm a cancer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you going to do for your birthday?
Speaker 1: We were discussing this yesterday. We're not sure yet, we're
Speaker 1: thinking of I was trying to like, there's a there's
Speaker 1: a virtual reality arcade at the mall near us, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's really expensive and the way that
Speaker 1: it is gribe the games doesn't excite me, Like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're on a roller coaster, Like, well, that's not worth
Speaker 1: fifty dollars for forty minutes.
Speaker 4: So you can just go to a theme park exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't know. I'm looking at maybe I
Speaker 1: do love video games. I've been trying to figure that out.
Speaker 1: But I might just you know, take the kids, go
Speaker 1: see Toy Story four, maybe get some dinner. I don't know.
Speaker 2: You know, there's one place in La that I totally
Speaker 2: forgot to take Mike at a date night. So this
Speaker 2: could be maybe a good birthday thing if you like
Speaker 2: this kind of jam. But you basically go to this
Speaker 2: warehouse and you just break stuff.
Speaker 1: I was looking at you take a rage room.
Speaker 3: A rage room that sounds and fantastic.
Speaker 2: I know it's probably Mike's dream to just like go
Speaker 2: just crush stuff, But I mean I did it at
Speaker 2: like this gifting event sweet thing, and I went in
Speaker 2: there and they gave me a hammer and I just
Speaker 2: got to destroy wine glasses and plate They're like, do
Speaker 2: however you want to do it?
Speaker 3: Do you want to grab the plates and throw them?
Speaker 3: Do you want to? I mean it was it felt
Speaker 3: so good.
Speaker 6: They have like printers and stuff you can break, like
Speaker 6: you only have a lot of rage towards.
Speaker 4: They have a coffee machine like the office, so you
Speaker 4: can just take it out like a office space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right now it would be a roomba because I'm
Speaker 2: having a hell of a time trying to set up
Speaker 2: with the roomba. I have been on the phone with
Speaker 2: the Rumba company trying to figure it out for the
Speaker 2: past couple hours.
Speaker 1: Great experience with room, but customer service, if I may so,
Speaker 1: were they go to.
Speaker 2: They're a great customer service, but it's still not figured
Speaker 2: out yet.
Speaker 3: They're like, we think it's your internet.
Speaker 4: They have a great customer service because there's always issues
Speaker 4: that mess up. They have to have a good support
Speaker 4: staff to help everyone so they don't lose business.
Speaker 3: Well, that's fun, Mark, Happy birthday.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm excited for you.
Speaker 5: I love Yeah, you do.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: It's my special day.
Speaker 4: That's right, it's all we got.
Speaker 3: I'm having a hard time with my birthday.
Speaker 1: That's the thing is. I'm fighting that. I know that
Speaker 1: I should, by this age be hating my birthday, and
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's a really good outlook to have,
Speaker 2: but I feel like, guys, it's easier, like you guys
Speaker 2: look better when you get older.
Speaker 5: We don't.
Speaker 4: We look worse in your it is and that's not
Speaker 4: true for you, but it's not. I see pictures of
Speaker 4: Jana when she was in her twenties and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: she's cute, but no, it's true, but you're you're smoking now?
Speaker 2: Thanks, But in ten years it's like, you know, that's
Speaker 2: when people Then Why do husbands always go for the
Speaker 2: younger girls when they get older?
Speaker 3: Mark? Why can you help us with that?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think that, I mean we can alway.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I.
Speaker 1: Think that has to do with men's insecurities and having
Speaker 1: to feel like they're the They're still young and hot
Speaker 1: and viril and I think I think it gets into
Speaker 1: a deeper place there. It's a midlife crisis thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it goes an ego.
Speaker 2: And power too, the whole like midlife crisis thing though,
Speaker 2: is something Have you gone through it yet?
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: So is is there an age range that it usually happens?
Speaker 1: Mathematically? I really should have done it by now, I think,
Speaker 1: in terms of that midway point, but I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I think it's got to be forties, fifties, it's got
Speaker 1: to be right in that range.
Speaker 3: I mean, what are you going to do for your
Speaker 3: mid libraries is Mike.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I'm over here talking about motorcycles and stuff,
Speaker 4: so I might already be in it. I'm in it,
Speaker 4: and I'm thirty two and we.
Speaker 2: Still don't have a motorcycle. So but if you really
Speaker 2: want one, Bab, we can talk about it later.
Speaker 4: I'm still working on my golf trip.
Speaker 2: I told you can go. Really yeah, I said, book
Speaker 2: the tickets. You want to go, go green Light.
Speaker 4: All you listeners heard it. You guys heard it. So
Speaker 4: if we get an argument about it and I bring
Speaker 4: it up, that's.
Speaker 2: Something you really want to do, I'm not gonna not.
Speaker 2: If something you really want.
Speaker 1: To do, what's the objection? There is none, but okay,
Speaker 1: but there what's the hesitation? There's something.
Speaker 2: Well, it's just there has to be certain boundaries around
Speaker 2: the trip.
Speaker 1: So it's not just golf.
Speaker 4: Well, no, it is. The trip is just golf, but
Speaker 4: it's you know, because of our history and everything, it's
Speaker 4: when one of us is traveling or we're not together,
Speaker 4: you know, things come up for Jana, which I totally understand,
Speaker 4: and I'm usually always willing to do whatever she needs
Speaker 4: to feel safe. And when I do leave and she's
Speaker 4: not with me, which.
Speaker 2: By the way, the listeners are like, you're so hard
Speaker 2: on Mike, and Da da da da, I'm like, but
Speaker 2: there's still certain boundaries that need to be in place
Speaker 2: for someone's safety, no matter where if they you know,
Speaker 2: because people people think that we're not in a healthy
Speaker 2: relationship because we have certain boundaries and stuff. And really, yeah,
Speaker 2: someone said, they're like they must their relationship. Really isn't
Speaker 2: that healthy because you know, she's so insecure about this.
Speaker 2: People have insecurities no matter what. And it's not unlike
Speaker 2: you can't go anywhere and you can't do this or that,
Speaker 2: Like that's not it at all. Just you have to
Speaker 2: have boundaries just in general, whether things happen or they didn't.
Speaker 2: I just think it's important to have boundaries. But call
Speaker 2: me crazy, you're crazy.
Speaker 1: So who are the other guys on this trip? Like,
Speaker 1: how many?
Speaker 4: It's it's four of us total.
Speaker 3: We played Max, Can I go?
Speaker 4: Do you need another?
Speaker 1: But are the single guys in this group?
Speaker 4: No, they're all. They're all Two of them are married
Speaker 4: with kids, ones engaged. I did the same trip with
Speaker 4: these guys last year. It's back in Baltimore. It's at
Speaker 4: the club that they belonged to. It's just a member
Speaker 4: guest tournament. Two of the guys belonged to the to
Speaker 4: the club and they take me and my other.
Speaker 3: Buddy and yeah, and he went last year and I
Speaker 3: had Yeah, well last year.
Speaker 4: It was so much fun, had such a good time,
Speaker 4: and you know, we had no issues.
Speaker 2: And I think Mike's just being more hesitant because it's
Speaker 2: like we're back in Nashville, so there's more things that
Speaker 2: have like come up from me here since we're back
Speaker 2: in like that space. But I think it's been you know,
Speaker 2: I have no issues with it. Well found which is nice, right, Yeah, No,
Speaker 2: I love that, it's awesome. But I don't want people
Speaker 2: to be like there she goes again, not telling him
Speaker 2: what he can you cannot do, because I'm like, I'm not.
Speaker 2: I feel like I get that axe on me a lot.
Speaker 2: But that's not the case. You want that go go
Speaker 2: do it? Do we just have certain boundaries.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is all good. Well, I appreciate it. I'll
Speaker 4: book my flight today.
Speaker 3: Thank goodness. Do you do you do you think so? Mark?
Speaker 1: Like, do you think I think it's great? I having
Speaker 1: heard everything now I'm ready to rule. I think this
Speaker 1: is fine. I think he is I think he is
Speaker 1: allowed to go on this trip and boom.
Speaker 4: Judge jury executioner.
Speaker 3: Judge jury executioner, not.
Speaker 2: Its good and my dad's actually coming in that weekend,
Speaker 2: so you get to miss my dad coming in town.
Speaker 4: Oh, miss Martin.
Speaker 2: Well you'll come back on Sunday, right, yeah, yeah, I'll
Speaker 2: be back Sunday morning. Yes, yes, because last time you
Speaker 2: didn't roll until like six a night.
Speaker 4: That's because I had to go from Baltimore to Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: Now I'm going Baltimore to Nashville. I'm back in no time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, actually that's the sense, because you gain time going
Speaker 2: right now if you don't lose time.
Speaker 4: Right, But I didn't want to take the first flight out.
Speaker 3: Wow, yes, right, you are two kids. Guess what Bobo?
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Speaker 2: So we have a really really really really really really really.
Speaker 3: Can I say really one more time? Sure? Really really
Speaker 3: cool guest.
Speaker 2: She's she's transgender, ways that I want to make sure
Speaker 2: I say that right. Yeah, she's a transgender. Yes, her
Speaker 2: name is Billy Lee. And we talked about this because
Speaker 2: Mike had a I want to say to incident those.
Speaker 4: Of you that listened to me when I was at
Speaker 4: the home depot and how and kind of ensured how
Speaker 4: to address someone who seemed to be transitioning, you know,
Speaker 4: their sex. I just it just brought up an interesting
Speaker 4: topic on on what is the respectful way to acknowledge
Speaker 4: people that are transitioning in public.
Speaker 2: So she's on vander Pump Rules. She actually made history
Speaker 2: as a first trans woman to star on a Bravo series.
Speaker 2: I'm really excited to talk to her. Is she is
Speaker 2: she here yet?
Speaker 1: She's in the elevator right now?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, suspension. She's beautiful too, very pretty.
Speaker 2: Very very very pretty, which something came up for me.
Speaker 2: Mike and I started talking about it before the podcast,
Speaker 2: so I'm curious to to get that. I guess we'll
Speaker 2: talk about it afterwards.
Speaker 4: I mean we can. You're at Jana asked me is because.
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, she's so beautiful.
Speaker 4: Like if I didn't know, didn't know, and I was
Speaker 4: dating her somebody and then they told me, which you know,
Speaker 4: Billy Lee has a story on her website that kind
Speaker 4: of talks about situations she was in like this, And
Speaker 4: my honest answer is, I don't know if I could
Speaker 4: because why because my head would just be like this
Speaker 4: was you.
Speaker 2: Know, if you really loved her, Like what if you
Speaker 2: like you were in a relationship with Billy, you loved her,
Speaker 2: you loved everything about her, I mean, and then you
Speaker 2: know it would be think about how you felt with
Speaker 2: me when you first met me, and then I said, hey,
Speaker 2: I was actually a boy when I was younger and
Speaker 2: I've transitioned.
Speaker 4: It would be hard. It would be something that you
Speaker 4: I would have to get over or have to deal
Speaker 4: with on my own time, like it's it's it's a
Speaker 4: classic scenario of what we talk about all the time
Speaker 4: with you don't know what you're gonna do until you're
Speaker 4: in that situation, And all I know is that I
Speaker 4: can't answer definitively, Like I can't answer yes, I would
Speaker 4: still be with you no matter what, or no, I
Speaker 4: wouldn't be with you period. I can't answer definitively.
Speaker 2: You seem more definitive off air though that you couldn't
Speaker 2: do it well.
Speaker 4: Because we because we started talking. Then you're like, save
Speaker 4: it for the podcast.
Speaker 3: But you sounded pretty like definitive though I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, would you have to flip it around? How would
Speaker 1: you feel damn.
Speaker 2: It marked him do that to me. To me, I
Speaker 2: think it's different.
Speaker 4: You think it's relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's different because sometimes I'm like, you
Speaker 2: know what, if Abby Wombach came to me and was like,
Speaker 2: hey girl, I'd be like, okay, because I think she's
Speaker 2: like I like that kind of tougher chick like I.
Speaker 2: I honestly, if we ever got divorced and then Abby
Speaker 2: like made a move, I'd be like, all right, I
Speaker 2: would think I wouldn't say no to it. So so
Speaker 2: if it was Flip, then yes, I wouldn't have a
Speaker 2: problem with that.
Speaker 3: It's just my two sons.
Speaker 1: Well, Billy's here and she's listening to this conversation.
Speaker 2: Hi, Billy, thank you so much for being on our show.
Speaker 2: We so appreciate it because this has definitely been a
Speaker 2: topic that we wanted to discuss and just have you
Speaker 2: on the show, which is we're super super grateful.
Speaker 3: So thank you, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2: And Mark just tried to I asked Michael because we
Speaker 2: were reading your site and well, I'll let you take
Speaker 2: that one over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Billy, First of all, I loved your website. I
Speaker 4: think it's very informative, it's very beautiful. But I was
Speaker 4: kind of reading, you know, about you and everything and
Speaker 4: the example that you gave of someone that you had
Speaker 4: fallen hard for and then when you finally felt like
Speaker 4: it was time to open up to him and tell
Speaker 4: your kind of whole story, how he had a hard
Speaker 4: time with it and he said he could never look
Speaker 4: at you the same. Yeah, and so that's kind of,
Speaker 4: you know, empathized. That must have been really hard for
Speaker 4: you to accept at that time. And so I was
Speaker 4: telling Jana that and we just kind of had that dialogue,
Speaker 4: and you know, she asked me the same question, and
Speaker 4: I told her just honestly, I don't know that's a
Speaker 4: hard until someone's in that position, I don't know my
Speaker 4: first instinct would honestly be the same as him, would
Speaker 4: be like I don't know if I could look at
Speaker 4: Janau the same.
Speaker 2: But but but to me, the I'm like, but why
Speaker 2: because you're you know, you're beautiful, You're who who you
Speaker 2: are meant to be, So it's why can't you love
Speaker 2: that version?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: Billy?
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 6: I have to say I definitely felt for him in
Speaker 6: that moment too, and you know, it's it's hard because
Speaker 6: I I for myself. I'm like, I'm just telling you,
Speaker 6: like something that I haven't told you before. I'm still
Speaker 6: the same person. Like he was attracted to me for
Speaker 6: certain reasons, even my voice, Like he there was so
Speaker 6: many things that he really loved about me, and just
Speaker 6: by me telling him that, and then I think, too,
Speaker 6: it's also perception. It's like then he tries to find
Speaker 6: all the masculine things about me because I told him,
Speaker 6: so he starts looking for it and then he notices
Speaker 6: it and then he's like, oh, oh this makes sense.
Speaker 6: Oh wait, no, this is why, and like it creates
Speaker 6: a story. And then all the shame starts coming in
Speaker 6: because especially with him growing up, you know, he is
Speaker 6: half black, and a lot of cultures and community they
Speaker 6: don't support that. They don't you know, you're not allowed
Speaker 6: to be gay, You're not allowed to be attracted to
Speaker 6: trans people or even embrace any of your feminine energy.
Speaker 5: So a lot of shame just kicked in.
Speaker 6: And he I was friends with all of his friends,
Speaker 6: and so he was very embarrassed, and you know, all
Speaker 6: of his friends stopped talking to me. It was it
Speaker 6: was like I just dropped a bomb, and like, my
Speaker 6: life and his life. But you know, after like six
Speaker 6: months to a year, he came around and he saw
Speaker 6: me dating some other guy who actually kind of looks
Speaker 6: like him. And I was open and proud at the time,
Speaker 6: and he came back around and was like, actually, like,
Speaker 6: I you know, I messed up, and I think about
Speaker 6: you not all the time. And we had a really
Speaker 6: strong connection. I we literally thought we were from like
Speaker 6: a different planet. It was like very twin flame kind
Speaker 6: of connection. And you know, so we ended up reconnecting
Speaker 6: it and getting back together. But then I kind of
Speaker 6: slid into that secret. So the shame kept on popping
Speaker 6: up in our relationship.
Speaker 5: People would be like.
Speaker 6: Are you with a trans woman? And then he would
Speaker 6: get like kind of embarrassed or then yeah, a lot
Speaker 6: of things would come up. And then I noticed like
Speaker 6: if his roommates or his friends would walk in, he
Speaker 6: wouldn't be like touchy pheelly with me.
Speaker 5: He would be like not as affectionate.
Speaker 6: And that was I kind of slowly became his like secret.
Speaker 6: And there was days where he was like so proud
Speaker 6: about it and open and was like I want to
Speaker 6: change the world with you, and I want to educate people.
Speaker 5: And then there was days where.
Speaker 6: He was, you know, like crying and being like I'm
Speaker 6: embarrassed and I'm ashamed to be with you.
Speaker 5: It was. It was definitely a roller coaster.
Speaker 4: I'm sure it was. Man, that's yeah. You know nowadays, Billy,
Speaker 4: where do you stand and with when you're creating a
Speaker 4: new connection and new relationship with somebody, whether romantic or not,
Speaker 4: at what point do you I don't want to say disclosed,
Speaker 4: because you're who you are, but at what point does
Speaker 4: that conversation come up? I guess you know, or is
Speaker 4: it even necessary to have that conversation.
Speaker 6: I know we have this conversation in the community a lot.
Speaker 6: My sisters, my trand sisters and I were just together
Speaker 6: last night and the thing is like, I don't think
Speaker 6: it's appropriate to talk about it until you are like
Speaker 6: becoming intimate or decide to be in a romantic relationship.
Speaker 5: I do. I am open and.
Speaker 6: Proud now and you can google me, so it's definitely
Speaker 6: not like it was before.
Speaker 5: But I don't know.
Speaker 6: I personally, for me, I don't want I want to
Speaker 6: be open and honest from day one. But there are
Speaker 6: people out there who are sis and they go on
Speaker 6: dates and they may go on three or four dates,
Speaker 6: and they don't need to tell anyone. They don't need
Speaker 6: to tell anyone their personal business until they're intimate or
Speaker 6: until they're ready. And I've had a therapist tell me, like,
Speaker 6: you're a woman, like everything on your ID, your body,
Speaker 6: everything about you is female. So why do you have
Speaker 6: to go around telling people you know your baggage or
Speaker 6: your past. And and I really agreed with that at
Speaker 6: the time, and I was kind of convinced in a way,
Speaker 6: and that's the one reason why I live stealth. And
Speaker 6: and I didn't tell him, but I don't I mean,
Speaker 6: I don't like being dishonest. And I felt myself, especially
Speaker 6: in that past relationship. He would ask about stuff in
Speaker 6: high school and I'd find myself lying. And I've never
Speaker 6: been like a liar before, So I just didn't like
Speaker 6: the fact that I was being dishonest to someone who
Speaker 6: I loved. So but I definitely think it's it's important
Speaker 6: to be open and honest from the get go, and
Speaker 6: especially like you know, some trans women get murdered because
Speaker 6: they're not open and honest, and they may like you know,
Speaker 6: and I have to tell you, it's really hard when
Speaker 6: a guy you're really attracted to and you have this
Speaker 6: amazing connection. Likes you, and he looks at you and
Speaker 6: he's just really really enjoys you.
Speaker 5: And you feel good.
Speaker 6: You feel like I'm the woman that I've always wanted
Speaker 6: to be, the woman that I feel on the inside.
Speaker 6: The last thing I want to do is is tell
Speaker 6: him something negative about my past or something that I'm
Speaker 6: not proud of or I'm ashamed of. I mean, who
Speaker 6: airs out all their dirty laundry on the first date
Speaker 6: or second date?
Speaker 4: You know, right? Yeah, that totally makes sense. And along
Speaker 4: those lines, Billy, what have you always solely been attracted
Speaker 4: to men since you grew up? You know, a male
Speaker 4: in society was trying to lean you into being attracted
Speaker 4: to women. You know what age did you realize that
Speaker 4: you weren't or you know, are you still attracted to women?
Speaker 6: I'm always I've always been attracted to men. Yeah, I
Speaker 6: it was hard for me when I was a child.
Speaker 5: When when I got to be a teen, you know.
Speaker 6: I wasn't allowed to be attracted to boys because I
Speaker 6: was identifying as a boy, and so I couldn't even
Speaker 6: look boys in the eye because I would get bullied
Speaker 6: for you know, if I would come on to them
Speaker 6: or hit on them, which really I was. I kind
Speaker 6: of was so distant from a lot of guys that
Speaker 6: even my close friends, because I didn't want them to
Speaker 6: think that I was coming on to them.
Speaker 5: And then that kind of you know.
Speaker 6: Went into further relationships and it was really hard for
Speaker 6: me to break down that barrier, in that wall and
Speaker 6: to be vulnerable and open in a relationship. But I'm
Speaker 6: still attracted to men. I do date transmen. I am
Speaker 6: in a current I'm in a relationship right now with
Speaker 6: a trans man and.
Speaker 3: He's making that was who was a female.
Speaker 5: Yes right now.
Speaker 6: And everything about him, you know, he really embraces his
Speaker 6: masculine energy.
Speaker 5: He you wouldn't know, I mean, he looks like a man.
Speaker 2: But I love it because I feel like there's more
Speaker 2: you're not. You probably don't feel as much shame too, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I definitely you guys can relate a little
Speaker 2: bit more as opposed to your last relationship where he's
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, maybe it makes me feel bad for
Speaker 2: being you, and that's not that's not fair.
Speaker 5: Exactly.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I mean I still things come up, you know,
Speaker 6: like we went on a little trip recently and he
Speaker 6: took me to Palm Springs after a work trip, and
Speaker 6: I'm like tagging him, you know, like yeah, this is
Speaker 6: my boo, and he's like not really tagging me and
Speaker 6: on social media and I'm like instantly like my Like,
Speaker 6: I'm like, is he ashamed of me? Like all of
Speaker 6: these past experiences came up because I did have, like,
Speaker 6: you know, a man, especially as this man would love
Speaker 6: me and adore me in the bedroom, but outside he
Speaker 6: wouldn't hold my hand or be so proud, especially on
Speaker 6: social media.
Speaker 5: So and he's like, Babe, I'm trance too.
Speaker 2: He's like that happens in all relationships. It was like
Speaker 2: I had a few people that wouldn't hold my hand either,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 5: Yeah, But you know it's that comes out.
Speaker 2: I know, I do have a question about that, because
Speaker 2: Michael and I've had this conversation before, and you know,
Speaker 2: you've even said, Mike, you know, it's a choice or
Speaker 2: it's it's a fad some of these kids are doing.
Speaker 2: When we talked about the people that watch these shows
Speaker 2: that are now transitioning into what I said, like that
Speaker 2: like it's a choice to be gay or transgender, or
Speaker 2: that you're not like born with it.
Speaker 4: No, I'm not. I've never said that. I was saying
Speaker 4: that with the whole with what society is doing on
Speaker 4: you know, almost over diverting their children, whether male or female,
Speaker 4: to the opposite ways of Oh your girls don't have
Speaker 4: to play with barbies, they should, they can play with
Speaker 4: this too. It's you know, and every show having you
Speaker 4: know someone of a you know, different sex or whatever,
Speaker 4: it's I just feel like it's kind of how do
Speaker 4: kids even know what the what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 3: You know, like who they are? How do you know too?
Speaker 2: For the people that may think it's a choice maybe
Speaker 2: you know, or that it's a fat or they want
Speaker 2: to be cool, they want to fit in, Like what
Speaker 2: are your what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3: When't it comes.
Speaker 6: To I mean to say, you know, being we're growing
Speaker 6: up and being born as a boy physically, we're we
Speaker 6: are influenced and almost brainwashed to like the color blue,
Speaker 6: to like dumb trucks, to like g joes, So as
Speaker 6: much as like people are influenced to be non binary. Now,
Speaker 6: the thing is, I think gender is on a spectrum.
Speaker 6: I don't think that you have to be a girl,
Speaker 6: and you have to like pink and you have to
Speaker 6: like boys. And I don't think you have to be
Speaker 6: a boy that likes blue and it's attracted to girls.
Speaker 5: I think it's a spectrum.
Speaker 6: And I think the more that we show that, like
Speaker 6: I have a T shirt and I wear it on
Speaker 6: vander Pump, raise boys and girls the same way.
Speaker 5: Let them decide what they like. Why do we have
Speaker 5: to like?
Speaker 6: I remember when I was younger, the first time I
Speaker 6: ever really knew that I was different and that I
Speaker 6: felt wrong was when I want an Easter egg hunt
Speaker 6: and I was so excited because I was looking at
Speaker 6: this pink tent. It was a pink tin full of
Speaker 6: like Barbie dolls and pink girls stuff, and there was
Speaker 6: this pink bike that I really wanted. And I won
Speaker 6: the big prize and my dad passed the pink tent
Speaker 6: straight to the the boy tent and I had to
Speaker 6: pick some dumb truck or something, and I was so
Speaker 6: disappointed and I was crying. But it was in that
Speaker 6: moment that I realized, I'm being forced to like something
Speaker 6: I don't like, and I'm.
Speaker 5: Ashamed of it.
Speaker 6: And I knew in that moment that I was different
Speaker 6: so I have to say, like, you know, not everyone
Speaker 6: should be like I when I have kids. I don't
Speaker 6: think that they need to be wearing pink or blue
Speaker 6: depending on their sacks. And I definitely, you know, it's
Speaker 6: up to them. It's up to them to decide who
Speaker 6: they are and what they're feeling. A lot of people,
Speaker 6: you know it, We're all energy at the end of
Speaker 6: the day, and there's days where I feel like embracing
Speaker 6: my maskul the energy, and I might not want to
Speaker 6: wear like makeup or be you know, last night I
Speaker 6: went out and I was very I wore like this
Speaker 6: body suit and I'm very cur be now, and but
Speaker 6: everyone was very attracted and like very sexual to me,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, oh, I don't really know if I
Speaker 6: like this energy. There are times where I want to
Speaker 6: embrace my mask and energy and even dressed down and
Speaker 6: not feel so like open to people hitting on me
Speaker 6: and stuff. So I definitely have to like agree and disagree.
Speaker 4: No, it totally makes sense, and to dive into that,
Speaker 4: like you said, said, you know you want kids eventually,
Speaker 4: which is gonna be one of my questions. But when
Speaker 4: it comes to that, I guess what I struggle with
Speaker 4: with kids. You know, we have two young kids. Our daughter,
Speaker 4: Jolie's three and a half. I mean, she is on
Speaker 4: her own, full blown. She loves Unicorn, she loves dresses,
Speaker 4: she loves everything.
Speaker 3: She loves playing soccer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but she also loves playing soccer and sports and
Speaker 4: everything like that.
Speaker 3: So very like time sports.
Speaker 4: Yes, but she you know, she is everything as society
Speaker 4: would categorized as female or little girl, and that's her choice.
Speaker 4: But until they get to that age, it's I guess,
Speaker 4: you know, for people that are maybe sensitive to it,
Speaker 4: like how do you dress your kids when they're infants,
Speaker 4: if it's a boy or girl? If you know, Like
Speaker 4: I'm almost with our son because of society being oversensitive
Speaker 4: in some ways, I'm like, yeah, as do I need
Speaker 4: to feel bad for putting my son in a blue.
Speaker 2: Onesie or giving him truck toys? Yeah, or instead of
Speaker 2: a barbie?
Speaker 4: Right, So it's I don't I don't know. I guess
Speaker 4: that's you know who has the answer to that. You know,
Speaker 4: is it wrong with me to give my son a
Speaker 4: barbie instead of a truck when he's one years old?
Speaker 4: I don't know, you know what I mean? So it's
Speaker 4: it's tough.
Speaker 2: Because we were having that conversation. Actually this morning Mike.
Speaker 2: Mike said, hey, we should get Jolly one of those.
Speaker 3: Outdoor shops, hard work shops.
Speaker 2: I was like no, and Michael goes. He goes, oh,
Speaker 2: come on, it'd be cute. And I was like, all right,
Speaker 2: then we'll get Jason Barbie's how about that? And he's
Speaker 2: like no, same. You know, I'm like, you don't want
Speaker 2: him playing with Barbies and I don't want to playing
Speaker 2: with you know, the the truck or toy stuff.
Speaker 4: Again, it's about the influence. It's like if he gets
Speaker 4: older and he's Jolly's age and he says he wants
Speaker 4: that Barbie, all right, fine, I'm not gonna say no,
Speaker 4: you can't have that when he's joys it. I honestly wouldn't.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't.
Speaker 4: No, I honestly wouldn't. If he points to that and
Speaker 4: says I want that doll.
Speaker 3: We have this recorded.
Speaker 4: So yeah, And.
Speaker 2: Of course if Jolie wanted to, I mean, she does
Speaker 2: play more with those kind of things, like she loves cars.
Speaker 2: I would never take her cars away from her, like
Speaker 2: she loves those cars.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 5: So, and let me tell you something.
Speaker 6: If your son's attracted to feminine things. You'll know, like
Speaker 6: at the end of the day, I'm sure you could
Speaker 6: put fifty dumb trucks in front of me when I
Speaker 6: was a kid, but I would go and find that
Speaker 6: one Barbie doll and I would be like so excited
Speaker 6: about that one Barbie doll.
Speaker 5: So you'll know, and you'll know.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna send you videos and be like, Billy, what
Speaker 3: is this show me?
Speaker 6: And when it happens, like you know, just have that
Speaker 6: moment of like, you know, embracing that moment and doesn't
Speaker 6: mean like just because your child is, you know, having
Speaker 6: fun with barbies, that they're going to grow up to
Speaker 6: be gay or trans like you know, And it's so.
Speaker 2: Is there too much? Is there so much? I know,
Speaker 2: because there is so much influence. There are so many
Speaker 2: which I think are great. I know, Michael's like, oh God,
Speaker 2: here's another lesbian couple kissing or another you know, like
Speaker 2: when the gay people the gay people, Jesus, the gay
Speaker 2: storylines on all the TV shows.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's just every show has to have it.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I don't think that's a bad But every
Speaker 6: show had cis heterosexual couples all the time. Yeah, you
Speaker 6: know that that was here's the thing. The norm is changing.
Speaker 6: And I said this with Victoria's Secrets. If you're not
Speaker 6: going to get on the board, if you're not going
Speaker 6: to get on the bandwagon of that the norm is changing,
Speaker 6: then you're going to go under. And what happens We
Speaker 6: see Victoria's Secrets losing sales left and right, and that's
Speaker 6: just how it is. Every brand it needs to wake
Speaker 6: up and you know, and this goes with you. I
Speaker 6: you have to understand that the norm is changing. We
Speaker 6: it's not nineteen fifty.
Speaker 2: But here's the question, though, is there is that too
Speaker 2: much influence to confuse the kids to be like what
Speaker 2: am I?
Speaker 3: Who am I? Who am I supposed to be?
Speaker 2: Is that?
Speaker 3: Is there too much stuff?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 6: Oh, I think we all into that question at some
Speaker 6: point in our life. You know, life is confusing period.
Speaker 6: I mean, look who our president is no offense to
Speaker 6: anyone who, but I mean, like, what are kids thinking now? Like, wow,
Speaker 6: this dip is running our country?
Speaker 5: Like that's closing.
Speaker 6: So at the end of the day, we're all going
Speaker 6: to question things. But I think it's holding space and
Speaker 6: allowing them to be open and open minded and not
Speaker 6: have team to like fit in a box. It's like,
Speaker 6: the last thing you want is your kid to be
Speaker 6: like I'm questioning this and questioning that. Oh but we
Speaker 6: only have one.
Speaker 5: Box for you, sweetie. So here you go.
Speaker 6: Like, that's not how you want to do it, you know,
Speaker 6: give them multiple boxes, Chuck.
Speaker 5: If they are questioning things.
Speaker 1: They say that transgender identity is on the rise among teenagers,
Speaker 1: and then some people say, oh, because it's trendy, or
Speaker 1: oh they just want to be popular or whatever. But
Speaker 1: I think it's really it's just they see now they're
Speaker 1: seeing role models that they never saw before, and now
Speaker 1: they rapiers answer, wow, I'm that. That's that's the real me,
Speaker 1: and I can express myself that way where they never
Speaker 1: could have done that before.
Speaker 5: Exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Even my my boyfriend, he calls himself a baby trans
Speaker 6: because he is thirty four, but he only transitioned two
Speaker 6: years ago.
Speaker 5: I transitioned thirteen years ago. But he didn't have which
Speaker 5: was it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he didn't have as many people to you be like, wow,
Speaker 6: I can relate to that.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 6: Even in my small town in Indiana, I had no
Speaker 6: person of color around me, and I only had Oprah
Speaker 6: Winfrey to look at. I'm on the TV and be like, Wow,
Speaker 6: I'm so attracted to this person of color because there
Speaker 6: was all white people around me and now like most
Speaker 6: of my boyfriends are of color.
Speaker 5: It's like, I love the brown boys.
Speaker 4: I have a question, Billy, when transitioning. You know, there's
Speaker 4: a scenario I brought up on our podcast an episode
Speaker 4: or two ago about someone that was helping me at
Speaker 4: I was at home depot getting something at home depot
Speaker 4: and the person's name was Sarah and it was very
Speaker 4: apparent that they were transitioning or you know, was a
Speaker 4: was a male or is a male and transitioning into
Speaker 4: a female. You know, I just caught myself because I
Speaker 4: wanted to be respectful of that person. And so I've
Speaker 4: just been wrapping my brain and I would love to
Speaker 4: hear your input on this on what as a trans
Speaker 4: gender yourself and who's someone who transitioned? What is respectful
Speaker 4: for you? For you or someone like you? And you
Speaker 4: know when so yeah, I don't know just what is respectful?
Speaker 3: Do you say? Because Michael is a very yes ma'am, yes, sir,
Speaker 3: so that's kind.
Speaker 2: Of his his What are those called I think you're well,
Speaker 2: you're saying or.
Speaker 6: Pronouns yeahah, yeah. I mean even whenever, to be honest,
Speaker 6: whenever I'm on the phone with like you know, Time
Speaker 6: or on a cable or timob or whatever and they're like, sir,
Speaker 6: I'm like, excuse me, it's twenty nineteen. Do we have
Speaker 6: to use a pronoun right now?
Speaker 3: Like, oh, so you're saying take the pronouns out.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I honestly sometimes that does annoy me. But here's
Speaker 6: the thing, Like, if you notice me see that they're
Speaker 6: identifying as female, then you are more than welcome to
Speaker 6: just say that, like man.
Speaker 2: But what if it's just a gay man who's more flamboyant.
Speaker 6: Well if he's and it's not transitioning to a man
Speaker 6: and he's identifying as a man, but he's gay.
Speaker 3: But he has like lipstick on, And yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Mean you could be open. You can.
Speaker 6: Honestly, your safest bet is saying they are them, Like
Speaker 6: you can consider them non binary and let's say, okay, wait,
Speaker 6: wait they're not male, or if they're not female, then
Speaker 6: they might be in the middle, they might be non binary.
Speaker 6: So I'm going to just consider them they are them.
Speaker 6: And that's a hard one for me too. I mean,
Speaker 6: I have friends in the community who are non binary,
Speaker 6: and you know, saying they and them versus she or
Speaker 6: her or him like it's it is a little bit
Speaker 6: more challenging, but at the end of the day, like
Speaker 6: if you really want to be respectful and you want
Speaker 6: to make people feel safe and feel good, then you
Speaker 6: want to try to go the extra mile and just
Speaker 6: I always my safe bet.
Speaker 5: If I don't know and I'm questioning it, is they
Speaker 5: and them right for sure?
Speaker 3: And then just drop the mammor sir?
Speaker 4: It would it be rude of me? Like, say, I
Speaker 4: go to that situation and I asked the person, you know,
Speaker 4: her name was Sarah or his name was Sarah, what
Speaker 4: wherever they were in their transition? I said, Hey, Sarah,
Speaker 4: you know, what would you like me to call you?
Speaker 4: Is that crossing the line? Like in a public scenario,
Speaker 4: should I just say thank you Sarah? Like just use
Speaker 4: their name instead of because their name tag on it?
Speaker 4: Said Sarah. So I don't want to make it more
Speaker 4: complicated than I have to, yeah, said like I'm from
Speaker 4: the South. I say, yes, ma, and yes sir. It's
Speaker 4: just a term of respect, whether you're five or fifty,
Speaker 4: Like I just I use that. So I guess that's
Speaker 4: I just got to change my way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you just say you're from the South,
Speaker 2: You're from Virginia.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's actually south. Really Virginia south of the Mason
Speaker 4: Dixon line is the South.
Speaker 3: Wow, sir?
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, first of all, Sarah, I would immediately just
Speaker 6: think female.
Speaker 3: So I have a very good guy friend that name
Speaker 3: as state.
Speaker 6: If you ever question it, say what is say? I
Speaker 6: would love to know your preferred pronoun.
Speaker 5: And here's the thing.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing if anyone trans ever, if you're really
Speaker 6: coming from a place of love and you're just of understanding,
Speaker 6: you really want to respect the person, and the person
Speaker 6: is rude to you, it's because they're coming from an
Speaker 6: insecure place. Like you have to understand what it's like
Speaker 6: to be trans in America, Like our community is suffering
Speaker 6: in so many ways. We're told no in so many ways,
Speaker 6: we can't get jobs, and so when we do get
Speaker 6: a job, we deal with a lot of discrimination. So
Speaker 6: you could be walking up and just trying to be
Speaker 6: respectful and nice, but immediately I've had people, you know,
Speaker 6: especially early on with my first when I first transitioned,
Speaker 6: I would immediately be annoyed and like upset or ashamed
Speaker 6: and embarrassed in some type of way, and I would
Speaker 6: project that onto you, and here you are just trying
Speaker 6: to be nice and respectful. So when I say holding space,
Speaker 6: I mean like just knowing that this person, you know,
Speaker 6: they're part of a community that is really suffering right now,
Speaker 6: and don't take a personal one someone's upset with you.
Speaker 6: And I always try to tell my trans people, especially
Speaker 6: when I'm doing speaking engagements and stuff, allow ignorance, especially
Speaker 6: if it's not coming in in a hateful way, and
Speaker 6: it's not coming in a transphobic way. Allow ignorance. Hold
Speaker 6: space for that ignorance so we can educate this people,
Speaker 6: so then you can feel good about communicating with them.
Speaker 6: And you know, even when I say hire, our unemployment
Speaker 6: rates three times higher than the general population. Trans people
Speaker 6: need jobs. I tell people who can hire out there, like,
Speaker 6: please hire a transperson. And if you're feeling a little
Speaker 6: uncomfortable and you don't know the pronouns, ask you have
Speaker 6: that period in life. Even dating right now, me there's
Speaker 6: times where I feel uncomfortable with my boyfriend. Things are new,
Speaker 6: but you have to like navigate that and then things
Speaker 6: become smoother and you're changing people's lives and you're helping
Speaker 6: an entire community just by employing them and also you know,
Speaker 6: trying to have their pronouns correct.
Speaker 3: I love that. That's all.
Speaker 2: Like yes, I'm like, amens, Can you talk about your
Speaker 2: anti bullying campaign too?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I mean, well, you know, coming from a really small
Speaker 6: town in Indiana, I was bullied a lot. I was
Speaker 6: bullied so bad that I miss missed a two or
Speaker 6: three years of grade school.
Speaker 5: So I'm a really bad speller.
Speaker 6: But I when I decided to team up with Regenix, like,
Speaker 6: first of all, I was researching and found I was
Speaker 6: looking for some kind of hair product that would like
Speaker 6: help my damaged hair. And my mom has thinning hair,
Speaker 6: and I was starting to have thinning hair because I
Speaker 6: was bleaching in all the time. And I came across
Speaker 6: Regenics and I just fell in love with the company.
Speaker 6: And then we just decided to team up. And I said, look,
Speaker 6: if I'm going to do this beauty campaign, I really
Speaker 6: want to tie in something that's going to be good
Speaker 6: for my community. And they're like, we're down, and I
Speaker 6: talked about my being bullied, and they said, let's do
Speaker 6: an anti bullying campaign. It just like, was this beautiful
Speaker 6: moment that we had, and now we have this amazing
Speaker 6: campaign and a percentage goes to Equality California. I'm on
Speaker 6: the board of Equality California, So in Equality California works
Speaker 6: actually for the entire United States. They're constantly trying to
Speaker 6: help protect our rights. They're also in the school systems
Speaker 6: and making sure that teachers and principals are using the
Speaker 6: correct pronouns and the kids have a safe place to
Speaker 6: go to the restroom. Because when I was little, I
Speaker 6: would I was terrified at the restroom, and then I
Speaker 6: was also forced to go with you know, being the
Speaker 6: boy's soccer team. I was forced to go to the
Speaker 6: boy's locker room and those boys are the ones that
Speaker 6: were bullying me so bad. And I couldn't go to
Speaker 6: the girls pizza night or do the girl's soccer team.
Speaker 5: It was really, you know, challenging for me.
Speaker 6: So I just love that Regenni says like, you know what,
Speaker 6: we are willing to have a transperson be the face
Speaker 6: of our beauty campaign and also we will give a
Speaker 6: percentage back to your community.
Speaker 3: How big is the community?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, let me pull out my numbers really fast.
Speaker 3: Well, didn't they say, it's like, uh, is it ten
Speaker 3: percent of the population? Am I wrong on that?
Speaker 5: No, it's growing fast.
Speaker 6: I mean, you know, the thing is like, like he
Speaker 6: was just saying, with people are seeing that it's okay
Speaker 6: to come out, it's okay to be open. And I
Speaker 6: think at the same time as like the government's trying
Speaker 6: to take our rights away, we have Hollywood stepping up
Speaker 6: and like you say, you see it on TV all
Speaker 6: the time. Now, Hollywood is playing a huge role. They're
Speaker 6: like showing what's really happening. I mean Pose last night.
Speaker 6: I don't know if you guys watched Pose, but the
Speaker 6: show is epic and last night one of my good
Speaker 6: friends heard character. I don't want to be to a
Speaker 6: spoiler alert, but yeah, you have to watch it. It was
Speaker 6: really intense. But it's the truth. What's going on with
Speaker 6: trans people? I mean, especially black trans women. They're being
Speaker 6: murdered left and right.
Speaker 3: But what is your biggest fear for your community?
Speaker 6: To be honest, my my my best friends, like my
Speaker 6: closest friends are trans women of color and black trans women,
Speaker 6: and I'm so fearful that something could happen to them
Speaker 6: because we lose black trans women almost every day, like
Speaker 6: there's constantly something happening that either they're being beaten up
Speaker 6: or they're being murdered. And that's probably my biggest fear
Speaker 6: because the love of my lives are trans people of color,
Speaker 6: so I'm always speaking up for them. You know, I
Speaker 6: see the white privilege. I see it because I grew
Speaker 6: up in an all white town and I've seen what
Speaker 6: my privilege just transitioning. When I before I transitioned, I
Speaker 6: couldn't get a job. I had to do sex work.
Speaker 6: And then I had all these surgeries and because I'm white,
Speaker 6: red carpet rolled out for me and I had all
Speaker 6: these opportunities. And I witnessed that, and I think, wow,
Speaker 6: if I have all these opportunities, I need to make
Speaker 6: sure that every person in my community has the same,
Speaker 6: no matter what color they are.
Speaker 5: So I definitely absolutely yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you live Do you live with any fears? Nowadays?
Speaker 4: I mean, you're out, you're open, you're you're proud of
Speaker 4: who you are and what you're doing. But do you
Speaker 4: still have any fears personally?
Speaker 6: You know? I I my biggest fear is is disappointing
Speaker 6: my community because I do come with privilege. Because I
Speaker 6: do blend in with society, and I don't like to
Speaker 6: use the word passing, but you know.
Speaker 3: But you're using your voice though, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I really do.
Speaker 6: I try, and you know, every everything that I attach
Speaker 6: myself to, even with regen X, like I want to
Speaker 6: use the power of even if it's a beauty campaign,
Speaker 6: to make sure that we're speaking for my community and
Speaker 6: that we're raising money for my community. But yeah, I
Speaker 6: mean I think, you know, as an activist, I'm I'm
Speaker 6: always like afraid that I'm disappointing in some way and
Speaker 6: I'm not doing enough because there is so much suffering.
Speaker 6: And that's the thing is, like I'm working on a
Speaker 6: new TV show right now.
Speaker 4: What is it?
Speaker 3: Can you say it?
Speaker 5: I can't say, but it's really exciting, but.
Speaker 3: We can we have you back on when it launches.
Speaker 6: Yes, okay, but my new but my research for this
Speaker 6: new show is hate crimes and the things that we
Speaker 6: deal with with in the trans community. So my producing
Speaker 6: partners are always emailing me like, oh, this is happening,
Speaker 6: this is happening.
Speaker 5: So it's almost like my.
Speaker 6: Job is to see all the negative and that sometimes
Speaker 6: can be really really daunting, and I can find myself
Speaker 6: like in a black hole of like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: there's no end to this, like just forget it, you know.
Speaker 6: But it's things like Regenics and like these campaigns that
Speaker 6: I'm tied to that really give me hope and that
Speaker 6: are like, oh, there's a light at the end of
Speaker 6: the tunnel, Like I'm the face of this beauty campaign
Speaker 6: and they want to give back and not to mention
Speaker 6: like their product is actually really really good and it's
Speaker 6: like saved my hair. So it's just like those kind
Speaker 6: of things like give me hope and and.
Speaker 2: And if Victoria's Secret calls you up and says, hey,
Speaker 2: let's do it, would you do it?
Speaker 6: I would say how many black trans women did you call?
Speaker 6: To be honest, like even you know any I had
Speaker 6: a meeting with WE Entertainment recently and just a general meeting,
Speaker 6: but my first question was, what if your majority of
Speaker 6: your audiences is a black woman, do you have a
Speaker 6: black trans woman representing your network? And they said we're
Speaker 6: working on it. I said, okay, all right.
Speaker 2: Great, and you're like, and then I won't do anything
Speaker 2: until it's yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean, at the end of the day, look if
Speaker 6: if that's their audience, I know some black trans women
Speaker 6: that would be amazing on we network and that would
Speaker 6: represent and you would you know my girlfriend Amazon Ashley,
Speaker 6: She's amazing, Like I can't stop watching her, and I
Speaker 6: was like, you need to have her on your network.
Speaker 6: But I'm always, I'm always speaking up for the people
Speaker 6: that don't have a voice.
Speaker 2: Well, Billy, we cannot thank you enough for coming on
Speaker 2: and shedding light on this and talking about your journey
Speaker 2: and being open. So thank you so much for coming
Speaker 2: on to do that. We greatly appreciate it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you Billy so much. Everything you're doing is amazing.
Speaker 4: You're beautiful, Your work is beautiful, and we really appreciate
Speaker 4: your time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Hey, thank you for allowing a transperson to come on
Speaker 6: and share their voice and I love it.
Speaker 5: I appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Both for that.
Speaker 3: Where can our listeners find you?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can go.
Speaker 6: Well, my hair campaign is re Jennashir dot com and
Speaker 6: you can find me it's me Billy Leeve for all
Speaker 6: social media, and it's me Billy Lee dot com for
Speaker 6: my website.
Speaker 3: Awesome. Thank you so much, Billy.
Speaker 6: Yeah bye, and I'm the same.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 2: We all love a good subscription box right well, from
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Speaker 3: Billy thoughts comments.
Speaker 4: I thought she was great, Billy was fantastic. I think
Speaker 4: everything she's doing is phenomenal, and you know more of
Speaker 4: these conversations need to be had. And you know, I
Speaker 4: appreciate what she said about just the norm needs to change.
Speaker 2: And is that even for your TV shows? Because the
Speaker 2: amount of times to watch a Shonda Rhimes show and
Speaker 2: you're like, of course they're making out it.
Speaker 4: Just from my experience, it just seems like they're overdoing.
Speaker 4: I don't care if every show has that, but it
Speaker 4: just seems to me from my observation that when it
Speaker 4: comes to the homosexual scenes, it's more intense and sexual
Speaker 4: and everything, and then the heterosexual I don't think there
Speaker 4: are as many. Maybe that's just my perspective or maybe
Speaker 4: the others stand out to me, but I don't have
Speaker 4: an issue with it. Again, I just think it's it
Speaker 4: just goes hand in hand with the whole educating young
Speaker 4: children and what's the norm. And I just don't want
Speaker 4: to oversteer things where then it confuses them.
Speaker 2: That's the only thing that gets that I'm not worried about.
Speaker 2: But I just I want I don't want to steer
Speaker 2: one way or the other. But I also don't want
Speaker 2: them to be like, I don't know what I'm like, right,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 4: Want them to have an identity crisis if they don't
Speaker 4: have to at six, right at a young age.
Speaker 2: Mark, do you have any thoughts around that since you've
Speaker 2: got kids too, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have tried to be sensitive to that, and I
Speaker 1: have a sister who is married to a woman, and
Speaker 1: so they're very sensitive to that with their kids. But
Speaker 1: it's been funny how they kept everything neutral from the beginning.
Speaker 1: But now my niece Audrey is way into princesses, way
Speaker 1: into barbies, and that was her choice, you know. They
Speaker 1: kept it neutral until she could make her own decisions,
Speaker 1: and now she has and that's the direction she's gone in.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I've tried to keep it really open, and
Speaker 1: I really i'd like to think I'd be okay with
Speaker 1: whatever they chose, but they're both they're both just the
Speaker 1: girliest girls you can imagine.
Speaker 4: Right, It's just it's just hard. It's just another thing
Speaker 4: that I think. It's just it's so hard. I don't
Speaker 4: want to make parenting more complicated than it already is. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you know, it's our choice that and everyone is different
Speaker 4: and entitled to how they want to raise their kids.
Speaker 4: They're in toired their opinions. It's our choice that we're
Speaker 4: we are raising Jolie as a girl by society's girls
Speaker 4: girls standards, I guess, and Jay says a boy. Now again,
Speaker 4: if Jolie was at at Target or toy store and
Speaker 4: picked out something from a non girl aisle, we wouldn't
Speaker 4: really have We wouldn't have a problem buying it for
Speaker 4: her if she wanted it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, and she is more like I
Speaker 2: said earlier time, where like she'd rather when when there's
Speaker 2: boys and girls over, she plays more with the boys
Speaker 2: and like the swords, and oh yeah, that's her thing.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, all right, she's just more of a
Speaker 2: like topoy to do.
Speaker 1: Whatever they want. It doesn't mean anything. We try to
Speaker 1: put all these meanings into everything, and oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: what if she's gay, what if she transcend? And now
Speaker 1: she just likes playing with these guys like it's right,
Speaker 1: she likes swords.
Speaker 4: Whatever they are, right exactly.
Speaker 1: I remember when my sister was pregnant, I said to her,
Speaker 1: do you know this the gender yet? And she said,
Speaker 1: sex is the physical characteristics. Gender is what they identify as.
Speaker 1: So nobody do not know the sex yet. And I'm like, look,
Speaker 1: I was just trying to avoid the words. My young daughters.
Speaker 1: I was just trying to take the sex out of it.
Speaker 2: But see that's where I feel like it goes a
Speaker 2: little all right now they're like, the baby technically is
Speaker 2: a male, the baby technically is a female.
Speaker 4: Like I talked about and got ripped on a little bit.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you got slaughterized for that one.
Speaker 4: I don't care.
Speaker 1: We're all learning though, it's all it's all a process.
Speaker 3: Well that's what kind of like Billy said too.
Speaker 2: Like you know, for the community, it's like, hey, we
Speaker 2: are ignorant, we don't know, we're trying to learn. We're
Speaker 2: all just trying to catch up and try to understand
Speaker 2: something that we don't understand. It's like you're talking to
Speaker 2: me about the home depot stuff. I'm like, that is like,
Speaker 2: have some like patience with my ignorance. I have no
Speaker 2: idea what that freaking tool is.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know about it.
Speaker 4: It just it just comes back to the whole thing
Speaker 4: of a biological male or female. When they're born, they
Speaker 4: are one or the other. We don't know. They don't know,
Speaker 4: So it's unfair for us to say, hey, we don't
Speaker 4: know what you are even though you're born. This you
Speaker 4: got to figure it out. You're on your own. As
Speaker 4: soon as they come out of the boom. You're on
Speaker 4: your own, kid figure out what you are. I don't know,
Speaker 4: so anyways, Yeah, I'll get some more for that.
Speaker 3: Do we have any emails?
Speaker 1: We have some really good ones. Actually, we do have
Speaker 1: some good rob Yeah. My husband and I have been
Speaker 1: together for nine years. We have two kids. I've been
Speaker 1: feeling weird about our relationship, but my husband continues to
Speaker 1: tell me we're good. The other night I had another
Speaker 1: episode of is my husband cheating them? Because I swear
Speaker 1: I saw a picture on his phone of a girl
Speaker 1: and lingerine the text.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I didn't ask him about it, just about who he
Speaker 1: was texting. He said, no, it's a group shot with
Speaker 1: the baseball buddies. Do I go through his phone when
Speaker 1: I get the opportunity? Have you all ever? Snooped?
Speaker 2: Absolutely? Absolutely. If you have any concerns, well, here's the
Speaker 2: thing I wouldn't say. I would say, hey, can I
Speaker 2: please look at your phone? I'm right now? Yes, that
Speaker 2: was that was what I would do. I would say,
Speaker 2: may I look at your phone right now? I'm having
Speaker 2: some insecurities and I just want to feel safe, and
Speaker 2: that husband. If the husband says, absolutely, babe, here's my phone,
Speaker 2: then he's not doing anything wrong. But if the husband's like, no,
Speaker 2: why let me see your phone, Yeah, he's uncheating on
Speaker 2: you because.
Speaker 4: I know nothing what that is, Like, I've never said
Speaker 4: that to you. Well, let me see.
Speaker 2: I'm the I was the worst, so one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: But I don't think you should snoop. I think you
Speaker 2: should just say let me see your phone right now?
Speaker 2: Or may I please see your phone because I'm having
Speaker 2: anxiety and I need to feel safe about something that
Speaker 2: I saw, Or here's an I fan. Can you show
Speaker 2: me this text thread to like ask for permission to
Speaker 2: show like he can hold the phone, but let me
Speaker 2: see it, like let's sit through it together.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't snoop, because then that just.
Speaker 3: Creates heighty for you. And I said, it just gives
Speaker 3: you so much better.
Speaker 4: In the worst case scenario, there is if you snoop
Speaker 4: Robin and then your fears aren't validated so there isn't
Speaker 4: anything wrong or inappropriate or he's not cheating or anything,
Speaker 4: and then he finds out you snooped or you tell
Speaker 4: me snoop, then it's he's losing trust in you. Then
Speaker 4: it's like any kind of lack of trust you had
Speaker 4: in him, he now loses in you because like what,
Speaker 4: like why didn't you just come to me? What the hell? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Please em?
Speaker 4: I mean, Janet can even attest to that now, where
Speaker 4: she's like, hey, I needed your phone, like you just
Speaker 4: asked the other day. I didn't even ask why you
Speaker 4: need it for. I don't even know what.
Speaker 2: Oh I needed to set up the room, right, and
Speaker 2: I was just like, yeah, so it's in the kitchen
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 4: And I will say, what a relieving feeling that is
Speaker 4: not only for jam but for me, like living, like
Speaker 4: not having that fear anymore.
Speaker 1: Some personal questions for Mike, Kylie wants to know why
Speaker 1: you don't have social media. Is it because of all
Speaker 1: the temptation and easy access? Is it because it's a
Speaker 1: trigger for Jannet? Or do you just not care for it?
Speaker 3: Good questions, Kylie, Great questions.
Speaker 4: It's a little of all the above, but mostly for me,
Speaker 4: like I don't necessarily like it. Even when I had it,
Speaker 4: I wasn't. I only had to. I've never had Instagram.
Speaker 4: I've never activated an Instagram account or anything.
Speaker 5: Really never.
Speaker 4: I told you that recently.
Speaker 3: You never even had, because that's still just like mind blowing.
Speaker 4: Because everybody has it. It's the thing to do. No,
Speaker 4: it's because when like you know, even when we started dating,
Speaker 4: I only had Twitter, and Twitter was a thing, and
Speaker 4: so when I was my football, I was just Twitter.
Speaker 4: So I don't know, and then Facebook is just you know,
Speaker 4: over and done with with our generation pretty much. But
Speaker 4: know it started off as a boundary for Jana and
Speaker 4: myself just too. Yeah, because I would you know, even
Speaker 4: before Janna, I interact with people via social media connect
Speaker 4: with people via social media. So it's just a boundary
Speaker 4: that we took out. But I've never I haven't had
Speaker 4: one bit of interest in having it again. I don't
Speaker 4: need to. I mean, Jana's Jana's social media is our page,
Speaker 4: it's our life, it's everything. I'm not the kind of
Speaker 4: guy that's going to be taking a selfie video. Hey
Speaker 4: what's up with your boy Mike? This is what I'm
Speaker 4: doing today. Like everyone I knows me know that wouldn't
Speaker 4: would understand that that is not often it it's your.
Speaker 3: Boy, mic, So you wouldn't not You wouldn't post anything.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't put Yeah, I wouldn't post anything. It'd be
Speaker 4: oversaturation because Jenna. Nobody's safe around Jana because everything is posted.
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's it's a little bit of everything. It
Speaker 4: started out as a boundary, but really now it's just
Speaker 4: I don't care. I don't need it.
Speaker 1: I agree. I mean, I have all that stuff, and
Speaker 1: I feel so stupid every time I post anything, right,
Speaker 1: like what people don't care? Why do they care? I
Speaker 1: just retweet jac He says, I noticed Mike has an
Speaker 1: increasing amount of tattoos on his arm, and I assume
Speaker 1: he might be working on a full sleeve. My husband
Speaker 1: came home a month ago and told me he's getting
Speaker 1: a sleeve. I don't mind a couple tattoos, but I'm
Speaker 1: not attracted to full body tattoos. I'm trying to be
Speaker 1: a supportive wife, but I'm having a hard time accepting
Speaker 1: this decision about tattooing his whole arm. How should I
Speaker 1: handle this?
Speaker 2: You know, we had a tough time with that because
Speaker 2: I loved I love Mike's arms, I love the clean
Speaker 2: I just says he has very sexy arms in my opinion,
Speaker 2: and I I sometimes you know, we we went back
Speaker 2: and forth on that. I was like, I kind of
Speaker 2: want to I'll miss that, but it was his decision
Speaker 2: at the end of the day.
Speaker 3: And I said, whatever makes you happy, whatever you want
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 2: And you know, he is transitioning his sleeve, he's making
Speaker 2: he's he's doing a full sleep.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a work in progress that's taking some time.
Speaker 4: But no, Janna was was supportive. She expressed, you know,
Speaker 4: some some sense of loss, a little bit, miss your arm,
Speaker 4: my arms. I'm not cutting it off. It's still gonna
Speaker 4: be there, but.
Speaker 3: What the meanings why he was doing it.
Speaker 2: I loved it because it's all about his growth and
Speaker 2: his journey and his sobriety. And I I was so
Speaker 2: on board for that because if that's just a constant
Speaker 2: daily reminder. But what I did say to him though,
Speaker 2: as I said, you know, if stuff happens, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: want to cut that arm off because I'd be like.
Speaker 3: That's a lie too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would suck.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So so no, jan has been really supportive. But we
Speaker 4: we can understand and empathize JC with how you might
Speaker 4: be feeling about it because it is a permanent thing.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I mean, and if you don't have any
Speaker 4: tattoos yourself, I can see how it'd be even more
Speaker 4: difficult to understand. Jana has a bunch of tattoos as well,
Speaker 4: more strategically placed.
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't say like super strategic, because I
Speaker 2: had one above my huci hooch. It I got removed though, Mark,
Speaker 2: Thanks Susan, it got removed. So sometimes you just make
Speaker 2: real bad choices doing tattoos. But Mike's tattoos are lovely
Speaker 2: and great meaning. So on that note, now that y'all
Speaker 2: know that I have a tattoo removed from my hoo chooch,
Speaker 2: we're gonna call it a day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one more thing about the transgender thing that I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about, Please Mark, it's been bothered. It's just
Speaker 1: something that bothered me a little bit over the ears. Uh.
Speaker 1: People say that, you know, you shouldn't expose your children
Speaker 1: to things like transgender, to things like homosexuality because it'll
Speaker 1: just confuse them, and it's just not a good idea.
Speaker 1: And my kids have grown up with an aunt who's gay,
Speaker 1: and so I just want to say, it's really easy
Speaker 1: for them to understand love is love, and people look
Speaker 1: going to love whoever they happen to fall in love with,
Speaker 1: and it's really easier for them to understand that no,
Speaker 1: that person identifies as a male. It actually is really easy.
Speaker 1: What's really difficult for them to understand is why anyone
Speaker 1: would hate someone for being that.
Speaker 3: Way, and why we make it so difficult.
Speaker 1: Really hard for them to grasp. So just keep that
Speaker 1: in mind when you're if you expose your kids to that.
Speaker 2: Well said Mark, and I think too, we make it
Speaker 2: more complicated than it needs to be.
Speaker 4: We don't give kids enough benefit of the doubt. Kids
Speaker 4: are freaking smart. Yeah, they're so much smarter than we
Speaker 4: give them credit for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, guys, Well on that note, parent confession
Speaker 2: of the day. I have to say this because I
Speaker 2: was Jace. I didn't even tell you this, Michael so bad.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to.
Speaker 2: He was crying and so I was rushing to put
Speaker 2: him in his seat feeding and I was just like, well, buddy, buddy,
Speaker 2: like I'm coming, you know, like I got your food
Speaker 2: or whatever. So I go grab the food and he's
Speaker 2: in my arm and I put him down in his
Speaker 2: high chirt this morning, and I go to put the
Speaker 2: high chair top on. I whacked him right in the
Speaker 2: face so hard, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: he just he just these crocodile tears start coming out,
Speaker 2: and I just am like, oh, I felt awful.
Speaker 4: I mean, I whacked the baby.
Speaker 2: I felt so bad. This poor little face was like, mom,
Speaker 2: how dare you anything?
Speaker 3: You got anything from me?
Speaker 4: We'll talk off air. Oh, that's really funny. I felt awful,
Speaker 4: though Daddy would never.
Speaker 2: I felt terrible. I grabbed him and I squeezed him
Speaker 2: so tight. It's just one of those moments where I
Speaker 2: was just like, oh my god, Janna did not mean
Speaker 2: to do that.
Speaker 3: Just wank right in the face. You know, do you
Speaker 3: got any from me?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: You're just perfect. On that note, On that note, mine
Speaker 2: that next week later.
Speaker 3: Great chop guys,