WEBVTT - Time to Make a Change with Billie Lee 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:04.240 Wind Down with Janet Cranler and Michael. 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:11.000 Coffin, and I'm her radio podcast wind Down. 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:13.480 What's up, guys? How is everybody? 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:15.080 I'm great? 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:17.120 Mark Easton, how are you guys? 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.599 I'm super good. It's my birthday week. I'm feeling great. 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:21.680 It is your. 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:24.840 Birthday week, which, by the way, Michael was doing some 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:29.200 birthday shopping for you yesterday. 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:30.800 Wait, when's Easton's birthday? 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:32.680 It's July. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:35.400 November sixth. 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:36.879 I'm a scorpio. 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:41.199 November as my mom's Wait, so Mark, what does that 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.120 make you then? Because July is that I'm still Gemini. 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:45.120 Now I'm a cancer. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:49.080 Yeah, what are you going to do for your birthday? 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.680 We were discussing this yesterday. We're not sure yet, we're 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:54.480 thinking of I was trying to like, there's a there's 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:57.200 a virtual reality arcade at the mall near us, but 0:00:57.720 --> 0:00:59.800 I don't know. It's really expensive and the way that 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:01.800 it is gribe the games doesn't excite me, Like, hey, 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:03.440 you're on a roller coaster, Like, well, that's not worth 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:05.240 fifty dollars for forty minutes. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.120 So you can just go to a theme park exactly. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.520 Yeah, So I don't know. I'm looking at maybe I 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:12.800 do love video games. I've been trying to figure that out. 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:14.520 But I might just you know, take the kids, go 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:16.800 see Toy Story four, maybe get some dinner. I don't know. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:19.840 You know, there's one place in La that I totally 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.120 forgot to take Mike at a date night. So this 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:24.399 could be maybe a good birthday thing if you like 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.679 this kind of jam. But you basically go to this 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.400 warehouse and you just break stuff. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.920 I was looking at you take a rage room. 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:37.479 A rage room that sounds and fantastic. 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:39.959 I know it's probably Mike's dream to just like go 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.840 just crush stuff, But I mean I did it at 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:47.000 like this gifting event sweet thing, and I went in 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.760 there and they gave me a hammer and I just 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.320 got to destroy wine glasses and plate They're like, do 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:53.400 however you want to do it? 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.040 Do you want to grab the plates and throw them? 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.360 Do you want to? I mean it was it felt 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:58.040 so good. 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:00.440 They have like printers and stuff you can break, like 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.040 you only have a lot of rage towards. 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:05.640 They have a coffee machine like the office, so you 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.680 can just take it out like a office space. 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:11.200 Yeah, right now it would be a roomba because I'm 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:12.760 having a hell of a time trying to set up 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:15.160 with the roomba. I have been on the phone with 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.400 the Rumba company trying to figure it out for the 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:18.600 past couple hours. 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.680 Great experience with room, but customer service, if I may so, 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:22.400 were they go to. 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.040 They're a great customer service, but it's still not figured 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:25.400 out yet. 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:26.720 They're like, we think it's your internet. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.760 They have a great customer service because there's always issues 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.160 that mess up. They have to have a good support 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.359 staff to help everyone so they don't lose business. 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:35.440 Well, that's fun, Mark, Happy birthday. 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:35.839 Thank you. 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:37.320 I'm excited for you. 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:39.959 I love Yeah, you do. 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:40.280 I do. 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:41.280 It's my special day. 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:43.360 That's right, it's all we got. 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.080 I'm having a hard time with my birthday. 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:47.280 That's the thing is. I'm fighting that. I know that 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.440 I should, by this age be hating my birthday, and 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:50.280 I don't ever want to. 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:53.520 I mean, I think that's a really good outlook to have, 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:56.000 but I feel like, guys, it's easier, like you guys 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:57.320 look better when you get older. 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:57.959 We don't. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.680 We look worse in your it is and that's not 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:07.359 true for you, but it's not. I see pictures of 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.600 Jana when she was in her twenties and I'm like, yeah, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:14.640 she's cute, but no, it's true, but you're you're smoking now? 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.680 Thanks, But in ten years it's like, you know, that's 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:19.880 when people Then Why do husbands always go for the 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:21.360 younger girls when they get older? 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.840 Mark? Why can you help us with that? 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:24.359 Yeah? 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:27.400 I think that, I mean we can alway. 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:29.200 Yeah, but I. 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.560 Think that has to do with men's insecurities and having 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.960 to feel like they're the They're still young and hot 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:38.480 and viril and I think I think it gets into 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.080 a deeper place there. It's a midlife crisis thing. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.000 Yeah, it goes an ego. 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.720 And power too, the whole like midlife crisis thing though, 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:47.200 is something Have you gone through it yet? 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.160 I don't think so. 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.640 So is is there an age range that it usually happens? 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:55.840 Mathematically? I really should have done it by now, I think, 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.160 in terms of that midway point, but I don't. I don't. 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.760 I think it's got to be forties, fifties, it's got 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:02.840 to be right in that range. 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:05.320 I mean, what are you going to do for your 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:06.520 mid libraries is Mike. 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.520 I don't know. I'm over here talking about motorcycles and stuff, 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:13.000 so I might already be in it. I'm in it, 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:14.400 and I'm thirty two and we. 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.240 Still don't have a motorcycle. So but if you really 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:19.000 want one, Bab, we can talk about it later. 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:21.120 I'm still working on my golf trip. 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:26.320 I told you can go. Really yeah, I said, book 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.280 the tickets. You want to go, go green Light. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.320 All you listeners heard it. You guys heard it. So 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.040 if we get an argument about it and I bring 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:36.400 it up, that's. 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:38.520 Something you really want to do, I'm not gonna not. 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:39.960 If something you really want. 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:43.520 To do, what's the objection? There is none, but okay, 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:46.239 but there what's the hesitation? There's something. 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:51.120 Well, it's just there has to be certain boundaries around 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:51.440 the trip. 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:52.240 So it's not just golf. 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.760 Well, no, it is. The trip is just golf, but 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.280 it's you know, because of our history and everything, it's 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.320 when one of us is traveling or we're not together, 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:05.760 you know, things come up for Jana, which I totally understand, 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:10.160 and I'm usually always willing to do whatever she needs 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:14.800 to feel safe. And when I do leave and she's 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:15.919 not with me, which. 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:17.360 By the way, the listeners are like, you're so hard 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:18.839 on Mike, and Da da da da, I'm like, but 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:22.120 there's still certain boundaries that need to be in place 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:26.839 for someone's safety, no matter where if they you know, 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.760 because people people think that we're not in a healthy 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:33.279 relationship because we have certain boundaries and stuff. And really, yeah, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:36.360 someone said, they're like they must their relationship. Really isn't 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.640 that healthy because you know, she's so insecure about this. 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.719 People have insecurities no matter what. And it's not unlike 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:45.080 you can't go anywhere and you can't do this or that, 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:47.240 Like that's not it at all. Just you have to 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.880 have boundaries just in general, whether things happen or they didn't. 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.600 I just think it's important to have boundaries. But call 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.080 me crazy, you're crazy. 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:59.400 So who are the other guys on this trip? Like, 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:00.280 how many? 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.320 It's it's four of us total. 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:03.640 We played Max, Can I go? 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:05.520 Do you need another? 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.159 But are the single guys in this group? 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.400 No, they're all. They're all Two of them are married 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:16.120 with kids, ones engaged. I did the same trip with 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.720 these guys last year. It's back in Baltimore. It's at 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:20.800 the club that they belonged to. It's just a member 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:23.640 guest tournament. Two of the guys belonged to the to 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:25.800 the club and they take me and my other. 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:27.800 Buddy and yeah, and he went last year and I 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:29.400 had Yeah, well last year. 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.480 It was so much fun, had such a good time, 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.840 and you know, we had no issues. 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.440 And I think Mike's just being more hesitant because it's 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:38.560 like we're back in Nashville, so there's more things that 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.279 have like come up from me here since we're back 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:44.560 in like that space. But I think it's been you know, 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:51.560 I have no issues with it. Well found which is nice, right, Yeah, No, 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:54.400 I love that, it's awesome. But I don't want people 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:56.960 to be like there she goes again, not telling him 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:58.960 what he can you cannot do, because I'm like, I'm not. 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.839 I feel like I get that axe on me a lot. 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:04.040 But that's not the case. You want that go go 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.039 do it? Do we just have certain boundaries. 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:10.160 Yeah, which is all good. Well, I appreciate it. I'll 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:11.360 book my flight today. 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:17.120 Thank goodness. Do you do you do you think so? Mark? 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.200 Like, do you think I think it's great? I having 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:23.080 heard everything now I'm ready to rule. I think this 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:24.840 is fine. I think he is I think he is 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.480 allowed to go on this trip and boom. 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:29.000 Judge jury executioner. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.760 Judge jury executioner, not. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.120 Its good and my dad's actually coming in that weekend, 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.160 so you get to miss my dad coming in town. 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:39.400 Oh, miss Martin. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:44.040 Well you'll come back on Sunday, right, yeah, yeah, I'll 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.560 be back Sunday morning. Yes, yes, because last time you 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:49.440 didn't roll until like six a night. 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:53.840 That's because I had to go from Baltimore to Los Angeles. 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.880 Now I'm going Baltimore to Nashville. I'm back in no time. 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:58.560 Yeah. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.640 Well, actually that's the sense, because you gain time going 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:04.520 right now if you don't lose time. 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:07.560 Right, But I didn't want to take the first flight out. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:15.560 Wow, yes, right, you are two kids. Guess what Bobo? 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:22.440 Anyways, all right, so no one really has time to 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.320 go to the post office, all right, you're busy. Who 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:28.040 has really the time to fight all the traffic, the parking, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.040 the lugging all your mail and packages. It's honestly a 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.200 really huge hussle. That's why I love stamps dot com. 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:38.080 It's the greatest place ever. It's a great tool for 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:41.440 time saving and for small businesses too. 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And right now our listeners 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.240 get a special offer that includes a four week trial 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:21.079 plus free postage, and like I said, a digital scale 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.200 without any long term commitment. Just go to stamps dot com, 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:26.440 click on the microphone at the top of the homepage 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.240 and type in jama that stamps dot com and enter Janna. 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:43.120 So we have a really really really really really really really. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.040 Can I say really one more time? Sure? Really really 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:45.600 cool guest. 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:50.719 She's she's transgender, ways that I want to make sure 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:54.160 I say that right. Yeah, she's a transgender. Yes, her 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:57.480 name is Billy Lee. And we talked about this because 0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:01.120 Mike had a I want to say to incident those. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.560 Of you that listened to me when I was at 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:06.760 the home depot and how and kind of ensured how 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:13.160 to address someone who seemed to be transitioning, you know, 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.440 their sex. I just it just brought up an interesting 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:21.319 topic on on what is the respectful way to acknowledge 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.120 people that are transitioning in public. 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:26.200 So she's on vander Pump Rules. She actually made history 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.880 as a first trans woman to star on a Bravo series. 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.360 I'm really excited to talk to her. Is she is 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:32.000 she here yet? 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.040 She's in the elevator right now? 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:39.720 Oh my gosh, suspension. She's beautiful too, very pretty. 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:42.400 Very very very pretty, which something came up for me. 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.680 Mike and I started talking about it before the podcast, 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.920 so I'm curious to to get that. I guess we'll 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.400 talk about it afterwards. 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.680 I mean we can. You're at Jana asked me is because. 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.400 I was like, wow, she's so beautiful. 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.800 Like if I didn't know, didn't know, and I was 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.920 dating her somebody and then they told me, which you know, 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:03.559 Billy Lee has a story on her website that kind 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.480 of talks about situations she was in like this, And 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:09.800 my honest answer is, I don't know if I could 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:17.000 because why because my head would just be like this 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:18.840 was you. 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.200 Know, if you really loved her, Like what if you 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.920 like you were in a relationship with Billy, you loved her, 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.600 you loved everything about her, I mean, and then you 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:29.439 know it would be think about how you felt with 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:32.120 me when you first met me, and then I said, hey, 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.320 I was actually a boy when I was younger and 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:35.240 I've transitioned. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.520 It would be hard. It would be something that you 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.520 I would have to get over or have to deal 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:45.560 with on my own time, like it's it's it's a 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:47.880 classic scenario of what we talk about all the time 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:49.400 with you don't know what you're gonna do until you're 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.120 in that situation, And all I know is that I 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:56.720 can't answer definitively, Like I can't answer yes, I would 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.280 still be with you no matter what, or no, I 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:02.240 wouldn't be with you period. I can't answer definitively. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:05.640 You seem more definitive off air though that you couldn't 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:06.560 do it well. 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.640 Because we because we started talking. Then you're like, save 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:09.880 it for the podcast. 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.600 But you sounded pretty like definitive though I don't. 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.320 Know, would you have to flip it around? How would 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:17.360 you feel damn. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:23.400 It marked him do that to me. To me, I 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:24.240 think it's different. 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:28.280 You think it's relationship. 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.200 Yeah, I think it's different because sometimes I'm like, you 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.480 know what, if Abby Wombach came to me and was like, 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:37.400 hey girl, I'd be like, okay, because I think she's 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:43.280 like I like that kind of tougher chick like I. 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.200 I honestly, if we ever got divorced and then Abby 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.640 like made a move, I'd be like, all right, I 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.160 would think I wouldn't say no to it. So so 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:52.920 if it was Flip, then yes, I wouldn't have a 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:53.360 problem with that. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:54.760 It's just my two sons. 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.040 Well, Billy's here and she's listening to this conversation. 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:03.400 Hi, Billy, thank you so much for being on our show. 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.680 We so appreciate it because this has definitely been a 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.240 topic that we wanted to discuss and just have you 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.600 on the show, which is we're super super grateful. 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:12.040 So thank you, Yes, thank you. 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:16.160 And Mark just tried to I asked Michael because we 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:19.520 were reading your site and well, I'll let you take 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:20.240 that one over. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.079 Yeah, Billy, First of all, I loved your website. I 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.520 think it's very informative, it's very beautiful. But I was 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.000 kind of reading, you know, about you and everything and 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.080 the example that you gave of someone that you had 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.160 fallen hard for and then when you finally felt like 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.800 it was time to open up to him and tell 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.120 your kind of whole story, how he had a hard 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:41.920 time with it and he said he could never look 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.520 at you the same. Yeah, and so that's kind of, 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:46.840 you know, empathized. That must have been really hard for 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:50.319 you to accept at that time. And so I was 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:52.719 telling Jana that and we just kind of had that dialogue, 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.040 and you know, she asked me the same question, and 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:58.200 I told her just honestly, I don't know that's a 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.920 hard until someone's in that position, I don't know my 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.680 first instinct would honestly be the same as him, would 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:06.720 be like I don't know if I could look at 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:07.440 Janau the same. 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.360 But but but to me, the I'm like, but why 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:14.720 because you're you know, you're beautiful, You're who who you 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.880 are meant to be, So it's why can't you love 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:18.520 that version? 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:19.480 Right? 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:20.040 Billy? 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:21.200 What are your thoughts on that? 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:22.320 Well? 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.040 I have to say I definitely felt for him in 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:30.080 that moment too, and you know, it's it's hard because 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:33.600 I I for myself. I'm like, I'm just telling you, 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:37.080 like something that I haven't told you before. I'm still 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:40.120 the same person. Like he was attracted to me for 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:43.800 certain reasons, even my voice, Like he there was so 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:48.200 many things that he really loved about me, and just 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:50.600 by me telling him that, and then I think, too, 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.320 it's also perception. It's like then he tries to find 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:56.720 all the masculine things about me because I told him, 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.080 so he starts looking for it and then he notices 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.080 it and then he's like, oh, oh this makes sense. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.160 Oh wait, no, this is why, and like it creates 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.200 a story. And then all the shame starts coming in 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:12.080 because especially with him growing up, you know, he is 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.280 half black, and a lot of cultures and community they 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.480 don't support that. They don't you know, you're not allowed 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.760 to be gay, You're not allowed to be attracted to 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:26.560 trans people or even embrace any of your feminine energy. 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.160 So a lot of shame just kicked in. 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.640 And he I was friends with all of his friends, 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:35.480 and so he was very embarrassed, and you know, all 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.400 of his friends stopped talking to me. It was it 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:40.320 was like I just dropped a bomb, and like, my 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.680 life and his life. But you know, after like six 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.160 months to a year, he came around and he saw 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.040 me dating some other guy who actually kind of looks 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.080 like him. And I was open and proud at the time, 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.280 and he came back around and was like, actually, like, 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:58.280 I you know, I messed up, and I think about 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:00.000 you not all the time. And we had a really 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.120 strong connection. I we literally thought we were from like 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:06.000 a different planet. It was like very twin flame kind 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:10.440 of connection. And you know, so we ended up reconnecting 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:12.840 it and getting back together. But then I kind of 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.720 slid into that secret. So the shame kept on popping 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:16.600 up in our relationship. 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:17.360 People would be like. 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.960 Are you with a trans woman? And then he would 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:23.280 get like kind of embarrassed or then yeah, a lot 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.640 of things would come up. And then I noticed like 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.000 if his roommates or his friends would walk in, he 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:29.560 wouldn't be like touchy pheelly with me. 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.200 He would be like not as affectionate. 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:36.800 And that was I kind of slowly became his like secret. 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.200 And there was days where he was like so proud 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:41.800 about it and open and was like I want to 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.080 change the world with you, and I want to educate people. 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:45.520 And then there was days where. 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.360 He was, you know, like crying and being like I'm 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.320 embarrassed and I'm ashamed to be with you. 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.280 It was. It was definitely a roller coaster. 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:58.720 I'm sure it was. Man, that's yeah. You know nowadays, Billy, 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.960 where do you stand and with when you're creating a 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:05.199 new connection and new relationship with somebody, whether romantic or not, 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:09.800 at what point do you I don't want to say disclosed, 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:11.840 because you're who you are, but at what point does 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:16.000 that conversation come up? I guess you know, or is 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:17.760 it even necessary to have that conversation. 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.560 I know we have this conversation in the community a lot. 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:22.879 My sisters, my trand sisters and I were just together 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:27.679 last night and the thing is like, I don't think 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:30.560 it's appropriate to talk about it until you are like 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:35.400 becoming intimate or decide to be in a romantic relationship. 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:37.960 I do. I am open and. 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.360 Proud now and you can google me, so it's definitely 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:41.600 not like it was before. 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:43.520 But I don't know. 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:47.480 I personally, for me, I don't want I want to 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:51.880 be open and honest from day one. But there are 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:54.320 people out there who are sis and they go on 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.600 dates and they may go on three or four dates, 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:58.399 and they don't need to tell anyone. They don't need 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.359 to tell anyone their personal business until they're intimate or 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:04.679 until they're ready. And I've had a therapist tell me, like, 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.000 you're a woman, like everything on your ID, your body, 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:08.800 everything about you is female. So why do you have 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.720 to go around telling people you know your baggage or 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.720 your past. And and I really agreed with that at 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:17.439 the time, and I was kind of convinced in a way, 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.720 and that's the one reason why I live stealth. And 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.439