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Speaker 1: This is the press show.

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Speaker 2: Zaan is taking over Las Vegas this January for his

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Speaker 2: seven night residency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've

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Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth

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Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text

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Speaker 2: Zaye to three seven three three seven now for a

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Speaker 2: message of data rates may apply all thanks to Live Nation.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if you.

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Speaker 2: Guys agree with this now, a recent peace in British Vogue.

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Speaker 2: I think actually, I think you will agree with this.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should listen before you tell me if you

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Speaker 2: agree or not disagree. Actually, I think you wrote this, man.

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Speaker 1: I got that, then do it. Then do it. You're

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Speaker 1: on spirit and you can.

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Speaker 3: Do whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you want to take it on spirit and you

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Speaker 2: can do whatever you want. Yes, it is a wild

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Speaker 2: world inside that cabin. A recent piece in British Vogue

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Speaker 2: argues that women are posting less about their partners and

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Speaker 2: in some cases feel that simply having a boyfriend friend

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Speaker 2: is culturally loser ish. I think you should hear the

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Speaker 2: whole sentence.

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Speaker 3: It is embarrassing to have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, many women, women, many men, women, Many women reference

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Speaker 2: to fear of needings to scrub posts if things end,

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Speaker 2: or being judged for being too coupled. Some say being

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Speaker 2: single has become the new status symbol. Dating experts say

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Speaker 2: the issue is at relationships per se. It's when someone

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Speaker 2: lets a partnership define their entire identity, which I don't

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Speaker 2: know how that would. I don't know how being married

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Speaker 2: or in a you know, committed non marital relationship.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why that matters.

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Speaker 2: You have to do all the same things if you

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Speaker 2: get married too and then divorce, which a lot of

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Speaker 2: people do, which half of people do? So I guess

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Speaker 2: I don't know the difference. What's the difference between having

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Speaker 2: Why would it be embarrassing to have a boyfriend or

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Speaker 2: a girlfriend and in this case boyfriend specifically versus getting divorced?

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Speaker 1: Isn't that embarrassing too?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: I mean, no, it's absolutely not is embarrassing?

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Speaker 2: Polina based on this argument, based on the argument that

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Speaker 2: you would have to scrub your social media if you

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Speaker 2: break up with someone, how is it any different if

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Speaker 2: you're married to them and get divorced?

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Speaker 4: Well, Fred I don't like that part that whole, like

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Speaker 4: scrubbing social media, like that's the point friendship any different, No,

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Speaker 4: like I'll lead a friendship like that doesn't matter to

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Speaker 4: me at all.

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Speaker 1: You play Sidoku again, you're always playing.

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Speaker 3: I love this article, and I'm actually writing something very

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Speaker 3: similar to this. I am like, we'll see if they

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Speaker 3: pick it up. Yeah, catch me outside, but we'll see

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Speaker 3: if they pick it up.

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Speaker 4: But I'm writing one about how I'll never get remarried again,

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Speaker 4: like if I get divorced and then potentially date, Like

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Speaker 4: you guys know, I'm going on my little dates.

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Speaker 3: Everyone getting a date with me, but I'm not.

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Speaker 5: I'm not like.

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Speaker 3: Gonna take it a step forward. We're not committing anything.

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Speaker 2: My point is in this argument, it says it's embarrassing

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Speaker 2: to have a boyfriend because women reference fear of needing

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Speaker 2: to scrub post if things end. You would have to

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Speaker 2: do that in any at the end of any relationship,

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Speaker 2: friendship or being judged couple, saying that being singles become

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Speaker 2: the new Stetus symbol and that people let a partnership

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Speaker 2: defind their identity also something that could happen in a marriage. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so I guess I don't understand how I think the

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Speaker 2: issue here is, Yeah, breaking up is embarrassing because because

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Speaker 2: these aren't things that are exclusive to boyfriend girlfriend.

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Speaker 4: I hear you, breaking up can be embarrassing. I think

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Speaker 4: this article that I've read this article over and over

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Speaker 4: and over. I think it's an amazing article. I think

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Speaker 4: what she's saying is like, having a boyfriend is a

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Speaker 4: liability for a lot of women. And that's a big

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Speaker 4: talk or big conversation on TikTok too, like it truly

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Speaker 4: is having a partner is liability.

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Speaker 3: Well on you, Fred Hayter, Lauren saying more man bashing.

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Speaker 2: Five if you have because this isn't talking about girlfriends.

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Speaker 2: This is from the female perspective. Yes, and and and

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Speaker 2: the quote is or her statement is yes, and it

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Speaker 2: doesn't really matter why even though I think it applies

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Speaker 2: to any relationship I can. I think that I would

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Speaker 2: like to know, do you have a boyfriend and are

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Speaker 2: you embarrassed of said boyfriend? Yes, in a way that

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't be embarrassed of a husband.

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Speaker 3: I can embarrass you too, I hear you on that.

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Speaker 2: And the article is more about independent self identity outside

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Speaker 2: of a partner, changing norms about how relationships are displayed. Yes,

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Speaker 2: but I get I guess if I'm independent and I

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Speaker 2: have self identity outside of a partner, that I'm not

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Speaker 2: embarrassed by my boyfriend because I stand on my own too. Yes,

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Speaker 2: So this, in my opinion, this whole thing, it contradicts

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Speaker 2: itself all over the place.

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Speaker 3: I think, yes and no.

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of times when women get into relationships,

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Speaker 4: you see the baddies, you know, getting taken off the streets,

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Speaker 4: and you know she's in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: I'm serious, and like her.

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Speaker 4: Content's a little more watered down, or she might not

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Speaker 4: be outside as much because she's in a relationship, And

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Speaker 4: that's natural, it happens, right. I feel like a lot

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Speaker 4: of people change when they get into a relationship or

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Speaker 4: they get married. Now, making your whole identity that's annoying.

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Speaker 4: And she said it in the article too. She goes,

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Speaker 4: if I was to see you, I don't know, on

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Speaker 4: the beaches doing this and that, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: it's just like you and your husband in the kitchen,

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Speaker 4: that's all your content.

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Speaker 3: Like, I'm on following you.

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Speaker 2: Why are we judging our actual lives on what your

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Speaker 2: content is?

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Speaker 4: I think she's just pointing that out as far as

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Speaker 4: like I think that's another problem. I know, well that's

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Speaker 4: what she's saying, and it's like, I see what she's

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Speaker 4: saying in terms of like we make our relationship our identity,

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Speaker 4: or we can some women do.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying all women, but some women can.

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Speaker 4: And I think that's like what she's pointing out too,

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Speaker 4: is like you're really absorbed in this relationship and like

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Speaker 4: it's kind of embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: That's what she's saying.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but how does that apply to just a boyfriend

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Speaker 2: versus a husband too? I mean, is it like I'm

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Speaker 2: doing this for someone who?

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Speaker 6: Who?

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Speaker 2: And I also don't know why the man has to

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Speaker 2: take all of the ownership every time in that It's like,

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Speaker 2: so what I was going to say is so you're

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Speaker 2: saying it's embarrassing that I'm I'm committed to this dual identity,

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Speaker 2: but you haven't quote unquote pulled the trigger. But again,

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Speaker 2: she's talking about self identity and self independence, So then

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Speaker 2: it wouldn't matter whether I pull the trigger or not

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Speaker 2: because you're your own person, your own figure, So it

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Speaker 2: doesn't actually matter whether it shouldn't matter based on her argument,

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Speaker 2: whether we're maor or not. I shouldn't be embarrassed to

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Speaker 2: have a boyfriend or a husband because it doesn't matter

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Speaker 2: because I have ownership in this decision. I think it

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Speaker 2: would be embarrassing if you're constantly telling everybody that your

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Speaker 2: whole life is dependent upon someone else's decision making based

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Speaker 2: on your value, you know what I mean, Like Kiki

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Speaker 2: joked about it, but Kiki is her own woman, her

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Speaker 2: own brand, her own identity, and whether Big Tim owned

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Speaker 2: that or not, I mean, you can we can be

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Speaker 2: real for one second.

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Speaker 5: You got a gimmick. You got a gimmick. This whole

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Speaker 5: arm single until this man claims me or whatever. No,

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Speaker 5: you never needed him to claim you. You don't for

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Speaker 5: one second need a man to claim you, Kiki, And

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Speaker 5: you know that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't need him to claim me.

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Speaker 7: But in order for me to go public with him,

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Speaker 7: I need to have some stake in the game, because

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Speaker 7: it is embarrassing when you are dating people for women,

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Speaker 7: It can be embarrassing because you I put you on

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Speaker 7: display as my man, as my boyfriend, right, and so

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Speaker 7: that eliminates all my other potential partners on this algorithm,

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Speaker 7: you know, like that level of Yeah, that's embarras in itself.

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Speaker 7: I don't know put all my potential men that's sitting

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Speaker 7: on a bench.

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Speaker 2: Why are we framing it? And I agree society does this,

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Speaker 2: but why aren't we having a bigger conversation, which is

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Speaker 2: why are we allowing society to frame this? Like if

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Speaker 2: a dude doesn't pull the trigger, he doesn't claim you

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Speaker 2: on a permanent basis, that that somehow has some that's

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Speaker 2: some assessment.

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Speaker 1: Of your value.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe you're the one Like in Calen's situation, I

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Speaker 2: think that dude would would have married her before they

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Speaker 2: even started dating.

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Speaker 1: He would have married her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so, but but I think maybe she in

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Speaker 2: this case, I'm surmising, based on things that have been

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Speaker 2: said over the last couple of years, that maybe she's

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Speaker 2: the one saying let's pump the brakes. So there should

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Speaker 2: be zero assessment of Klen's value based on the fact

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Speaker 2: that she's got a boyfriend and not a husband.

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Speaker 3: I don't friend. I don't think it has anything to

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Speaker 3: do with my value.

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Speaker 7: Now I will say that I just think it's embarrassing

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Speaker 7: because I didn't put all my other potential partners on

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Speaker 7: notice about you. I'm letting them know that you're the

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Speaker 7: star player on my team. Then I come to find

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Speaker 7: out you can't dribble the ball. That's embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's not.

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Speaker 7: About my value. My value say what it is because

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Speaker 7: I'm me. But so it's it's just about this may.

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Speaker 7: I didn't put you out there. Let everybody think you

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Speaker 7: the man. Now you just standing next to me and

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Speaker 7: got some of this glow.

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Speaker 2: You know that.

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Speaker 1: Now now you walk and so you got it. You

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Speaker 1: got it about three quarters right.

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Speaker 2: And so then if he if he screws this up,

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Speaker 2: then he loses the aura, then he's then he is

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Speaker 2: out of the shadow by and I find that it's bad.

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Speaker 7: Once I found out how embarrassing you are. Now you're

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Speaker 7: forever attached to my legacy.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Jesus Taylor. This article, this article just goes left

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Speaker 6: and right and it's all over the place, and it

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Speaker 6: says two different things. Hi, what did you want to say,

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Speaker 6: I'm having a boyfriend's embarrassing?

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Speaker 3: Why it's just embarrassing? Why my boyfriend is my boyfriend?

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Speaker 6: That right?

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Speaker 4: Just embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just come off with annoying.

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Speaker 2: I feel like so so saying your husband, that's your

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Speaker 2: husband that how does that change the context?

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Speaker 1: If it's the same guy, it's nons different.

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Speaker 3: I don't know more adults, and let me tell you something.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna make a counter argument, Taylor. I might argue

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Speaker 2: that having a husband can be embarrassing, can be because

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Speaker 2: at least, at least boyfriend and girlfriend, there is no

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Speaker 2: added pressure, no added level of Look, let's face it,

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Speaker 2: there are a lot of people listening right now in

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Speaker 2: relationships who are married and they're not getting divorced because

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Speaker 2: it's too much of a pain in the butt. But

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Speaker 2: in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship you get a little bit

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Speaker 2: more flexibility. It could still be a big pain in

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Speaker 2: the butt, but each of you are choosing to be there,

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Speaker 2: and it's not real tough to get out of it.

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Speaker 2: So I might argue that you're choosing each other in

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Speaker 2: that situation, as opposed to a marriage, where you may

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Speaker 2: stop choosing each other locket, but you've got lives intertwined

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Speaker 2: legally and otherwise, and as time goes by in a

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Speaker 2: marriage ten twenty thirty years. Yeah, look, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 2: my parents have been together for forty years. They love

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Speaker 2: each other and they're gonna stick it out. But I

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Speaker 2: can tell you it would be such a gigantic pain

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Speaker 2: in the buttt at seventeen eighty years old to move on.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that they would even if they should.

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Speaker 4: That's a good point, but I think you sometimes using

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Speaker 4: that relationship every day.

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Speaker 2: And I hate using my parents as an example, because

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Speaker 2: they do love each other, and they wouldn't they I

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Speaker 2: don't think either one of them. Well, my dad wouldn't

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Speaker 2: live without my mom, like he physically wouldn't survive. I

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Speaker 2: love him, but he's gotten to a place in his

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Speaker 2: life where he physically would not survive without my mother.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't know how to wash his chonies. He has

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Speaker 2: no idea, no clue. He doesn't even where the chonees,

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Speaker 2: doesn't know where to buy newones. He don't know nothing

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Speaker 2: about the chonies. Okay, so this man walk around with

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Speaker 2: no chonies. It would be awful for society with your mom. No,

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Speaker 2: And and frankly, I think my mom needs him too.

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Speaker 2: Now she's going to listen to this at about the

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Speaker 2: little my phone is gonna ring it and she's gonna say.

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Speaker 1: I need him for nothing exactly. I've hid all the

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Speaker 1: money everywhere he's broke.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you Taylor had a good day.

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Speaker 1: See what a good example.

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Speaker 3: Folks should have called me instead.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I love this author, she's grad and really like,

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Speaker 4: I'm really invested in her in this whole thing. I

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Speaker 4: wish they would have called me because I've been saying

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Speaker 4: whatich exactly what you're saying. It's like, I think you

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Speaker 4: can take us step further and say husbands can be

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Speaker 4: embarrassing too. Do you know how many moms have to

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Speaker 4: do this alone even though they're legally married and the

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Speaker 4: man's actually physically in the house, but.

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Speaker 3: Like, won't wash a dish.

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Speaker 2: I want women to take the power here. But that's

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Speaker 2: what she's saying on one hand, to Brighton that she

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Speaker 2: on the other hand, so I don't know, Hey, Ashley,

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Speaker 2: good morning, good morning. So you're saying it thirty five

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Speaker 2: to say you have a boyfriend is embarrassing. I see,

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Speaker 2: I think that's just social What are you saying? So, like,

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Speaker 2: that's what my blurb said, Okay, that's what that's what

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Speaker 2: your pre interview said. All right, So if we got

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Speaker 2: the pre interview wrong, then I need you to correct that.

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Speaker 8: No, that's the Hunter Bred Like at thirty five, when

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Speaker 8: you're just introducing someone being like, this is my boyfriend.

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Speaker 8: It just sounds so immature because there's so many people

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Speaker 8: at that stage of life that is like married. Mind you,

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Speaker 8: I've already been married and divorce by gorey.

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Speaker 3: Oh you're good, right, you did it right now.

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Speaker 8: Fortunately enough, we are engaged and we're getting married in December.

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Speaker 8: But when I was introducing him at thirty five and

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Speaker 8: thirty eight as my boyfriend, it just feels like a

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Speaker 8: step back in life because you know, I'm approaching that

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Speaker 8: forty mark and saying I have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: No, And I hear you.

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Speaker 8: No.

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Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying, Ashley, and that's fair and

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Speaker 2: that's honest, and you're being transparent. But I'm going to

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Speaker 2: write a piece for British Vogue where I say, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that is a social construct. Yes, what you're saying, what

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Speaker 2: you're saying is what other people are putting onto you. Like,

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Speaker 2: that's what the world's putting onto you. And I can

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Speaker 2: say this from the perspective of a forty four year

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Speaker 2: old man who's never been married and may never get

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Speaker 2: married because people look at me like I'm a weirdo.

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Speaker 2: People on the dating apps, people in real life, people

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Speaker 2: my friends who introduce me to people. It's like, what

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Speaker 2: do you mean he's forty four and never been married.

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Speaker 2: There must be something wrong with him as opposed to

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Speaker 2: what if I choose this life. That's true, So you

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be embarrassed. I'm telling you. That's my whole point here.

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Speaker 2: You should not be embarrassed about that whatsoever you made that.

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Speaker 3: Choice, flad high And.

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Speaker 2: If a guy doesn't want to propose to you then

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Speaker 2: and you're self aware and it's not you know, and

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Speaker 2: you're and you're good with yourself, then I guess that's

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Speaker 2: his loss.

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Speaker 3: That's true.

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Speaker 8: But doesn't don't you think the title boyfriend instead of like.

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Speaker 3: You know, it sounds immature. Fourteen year olds have boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we could change the word man friend, right,

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Speaker 1: college bootloom guy dude difference. Yeah, okay, fair enough. I

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Speaker 1: hear that.

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Speaker 3: But but if you're thinking it, no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: I think what you said is what the part that

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Speaker 2: makes you embarrassed, in my opinion, shouldn't make you embarrassed.

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Speaker 2: It's it's your embarrassed because other people. You think other

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Speaker 2: people think that. So it's a little bit of projection

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Speaker 2: that I'd like to correct.

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Speaker 8: Right, Fortunately enough, we are getting married in December.

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Speaker 2: He's my fiance now, so we don't got to say boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: no mo congratulations, Yes, all right, thank you too, thank you.

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Speaker 1: There you go.

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Speaker 2: See, it wouldn't met. Big Tim could have said he

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Speaker 2: could have walked. You would have been devastated, because that's

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Speaker 2: a that's a crappy thing to do. You would have

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Speaker 2: been sad. But then guess what next, O, Marion?

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 3: What I'm saying?

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Speaker 7: That's why you don't put out a boyfriend? Because my

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Speaker 7: bench is watching.

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Speaker 1: We're so late and we got to go.

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Speaker 2: But the other part of this is that we're judging

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Speaker 2: things based on social media content, which is outrageous.

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Speaker 3: I hate that.

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Speaker 2: I do not care no part of your actual life.

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Speaker 2: You got to live your life and if that and

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Speaker 2: if you want to live a separate life, that's for

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Speaker 2: everybody else. I guess fine. But like the fact that

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Speaker 2: we're now, we're now meshing and meshing the two where

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Speaker 2: my social media life and how I'm judged on social

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Speaker 2: media it plays into my actual identity. That's the worst

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Speaker 2: place on earth. Why would you want that to be

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Speaker 2: the barometer of how you're doing in life? The Internet's

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Speaker 2: the worst place on Earth.

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Speaker 3: The longer the caption, the more the problems. I stand

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Speaker 3: by that girl.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, like if it's wordy and oh two souls combined,

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Speaker 5: All

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Speaker 2: Go take something if we don't win a Marconi Award

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Speaker 2: for this hour Radio more Fred Show Next