Speaker 1: Hello Internet, and welcome to this afternoon edition of trend MD.
Speaker 1: As we will begin to discuss that company or their
Speaker 1: parent company of web md. But allow me to introduce
Speaker 1: myself and the day. It is Thursday, January eighteenth.
Speaker 2: And I am Miles and I'm joined by Brian the Editor.
Speaker 3: How are you, Brian the editor? Hello, everybody, it's me
Speaker 3: Brian the Editor.
Speaker 2: Wow, we've got the branding sorted out.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Do you have merch made yet it's being drop shipped?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because what you just bought like knockoff Tyler the
Speaker 1: creator Mercy, Yeah, Igor album and then yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Paid some people to just scribble it out and put
Speaker 4: Brian the editor just leave the the there.
Speaker 3: Leave the comma. That's it.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Anyway, let's get into it. The first thing that's trending
Speaker 1: web MD. That's why we said trend MD because their
Speaker 1: parent company, Internet brand, which sounds like some dark corporate overlord,
Speaker 1: put out a very very eerie video for all of
Speaker 1: their employees that basically started off that's like, you know,
Speaker 1: a while we like people are coming back to the office,
Speaker 1: and we notice those people that are there, unfortunately too
Speaker 1: big of a group, is still not bringing their ass
Speaker 1: into the office to fucking toil and we are getting
Speaker 1: more serious. That's like a fucking quote out of there
Speaker 1: about making sure that we change things up in the
Speaker 1: near future.
Speaker 2: And it feels like very fucking ominous.
Speaker 1: Like they have like the CEO or whatever of Internet
Speaker 1: brands talking and then you see all these other people
Speaker 1: who are giving like, you know, little testimonial quotes, but
Speaker 1: they look like there's a literal gun pointed at them
Speaker 1: off camera, Like that's right.
Speaker 4: I've never seen people look more like they are in
Speaker 4: a hostage video than this, exactly outside of a real
Speaker 4: hostage video.
Speaker 1: I guess even them, they look they even kind of
Speaker 1: have their shit together. They were like, I as the CEO,
Speaker 1: oh believe that the real.
Speaker 3: Ideas come from please don't hurt my.
Speaker 1: Dad, Okay, okay, that if we're all in the office together,
Speaker 1: we will make great things together.
Speaker 3: Please let her go. Man.
Speaker 1: It definitely has that energy and like people are clearly
Speaker 1: also they're talking all this shit about being in the office.
Speaker 2: Have these motherfuckers on green screen?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's painfully obvious they are on greens. If anyone
Speaker 4: who has spent the significant amount of time looking at
Speaker 4: people in front of green screens like on YouTube, and shit,
Speaker 4: it's immediately obvious.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, you're not matching the lighting. You're not
Speaker 1: matching the lighting.
Speaker 4: Come on now and we see that green sort of
Speaker 4: like bounce like coming out hitting their shoulders and your.
Speaker 3: Cheeks and shit, yeah no, yeah, yeah, I hear someone
Speaker 3: better if you're gonna do this like this.
Speaker 1: I like how this one dude was said like, we
Speaker 1: ain't asking full like the way he said is, we
Speaker 1: aren't asking or negotiating at this point, we're informing. And
Speaker 1: they got that song equal eco playing. They're like hey now, hey, now,
Speaker 1: hey now, and they're basically saying, like the transcript the
Speaker 1: translation of this lyric of jakamo fi noah nah a
Speaker 1: on na na actually means don't mess with us?
Speaker 2: What the fuck is wrong with them?
Speaker 3: Immediately I'm like, I don't know. Whenever I see like.
Speaker 4: Black art used by corporate entities in any fashion m
Speaker 4: hm instantly irritates me.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Wow, you pick this fucking song? Why why
Speaker 3: did you sund song?
Speaker 1: Someone who just heard is like, do you know what
Speaker 1: that song's about? Like, I just like it was about
Speaker 1: like this. Apparently there was like an argument like in
Speaker 1: New Orleans where two tribes of Mardi Gras Indians they
Speaker 1: had a confrontation, and like, so I think this would
Speaker 1: be interesting, Like it's fun because people get dancing, but
Speaker 1: there's a darker fucking message that we can make it
Speaker 1: be that for the whole thing. And it's also like
Speaker 1: one thing to use that kind of music too, to
Speaker 1: be like returned to fucking toil. In person, they say
Speaker 1: stuff like, oh, you know this, like this is gonna
Speaker 1: lead to like increased provement, like we just want to
Speaker 1: make things better. It's like I'm looking at the profits
Speaker 1: of internet brands. They've only been going up. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: whenever you sear people say that, I'm like, either show
Speaker 1: some like real empirical evidence that you are able to
Speaker 1: quantify what that means for people to like not have
Speaker 1: the flexibility to work from home if they're able to,
Speaker 1: or just say, like we talk about all the time
Speaker 1: on this show, it's that the fucking rent is too
Speaker 1: fucked up because you have these massive leases on these
Speaker 1: huge commercial buildings and they're like, what's the fucking Like,
Speaker 1: y'all we got.
Speaker 2: Bills and at least at least use the fucking building, please.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they come up with better incentives to get people
Speaker 4: to come in, like you can't. I mean, look, we've
Speaker 4: already seen companies that force people to come back in
Speaker 4: end up taking some sort of massive l Yeah, like
Speaker 4: people just leaving or you know, the quality of work
Speaker 4: is just like people just dragging their ass because they
Speaker 4: have to. You know, they're tired by the time they
Speaker 4: get to work.
Speaker 2: Probably that way if you're fucking commuting to anyway.
Speaker 1: I just I hope that uh, you know, the the
Speaker 1: corporate overlords and the powers that be are able to
Speaker 1: recognize that if if it's working, then just please keep
Speaker 1: it working.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Now it's been running fine for the last three years.
Speaker 4: You haven't gone under in your mission to make everyone
Speaker 4: think they have cancer?
Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, obviously. You know the thing that we
Speaker 1: really love here is that all roads lead.
Speaker 3: To you have some form of cancer. No matter what.
Speaker 1: Your elbow hurts, you have a migraine, you're you got
Speaker 1: a new piercing that seems to be sort of not
Speaker 1: healing properly.
Speaker 3: That's probably good be answer. We don't know.
Speaker 2: We don't know anyway. What else is trending.
Speaker 1: There's like there's like Wall Street journal piece that's out
Speaker 1: there that is talking about how like a lot of
Speaker 1: people are using dating apps, like you know, they're looking
Speaker 1: and says, you're looking for the one these dating app
Speaker 1: users are looking for, as DJ Khaled says another one and.
Speaker 2: Apparently they say quote.
Speaker 1: Open relationship enthusiasts crash mainstream romance apps, creating confusion among
Speaker 1: those who prefer monogamy.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be an accoutrement.
Speaker 3: A couterment. How do you say that word? I think
Speaker 3: I think it's a couterment.
Speaker 1: I think it's outcasts or men. I think it can't
Speaker 1: be a coutrement. But anyway, like they're talking about how
Speaker 1: like they go into here like they are on these
Speaker 1: apps like Hinge and shit. But then people are just
Speaker 1: like like they're like matching them.
Speaker 3: They're like, yeah, we're.
Speaker 1: Looking for a third or a fourth, like you're down,
Speaker 1: and then like I'm sorry, I'm looking for just a partner.
Speaker 2: Wait, so you don't want to be in this quadruple?
Speaker 3: Are you for real? Did you see the photo?
Speaker 1: We have a fucking we got three Doberman's, a men
Speaker 1: pin uh, I have a fucking we have a gigantic
Speaker 1: industrial sized air fryer.
Speaker 2: And a Hata with four seats and.
Speaker 1: You would get your own custom Stanley mug So, Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, fine, yeah, sure we live with my mom,
Speaker 1: but those amenities are still available to you as being
Speaker 1: part of this open relationship. The thing that I've been
Speaker 1: reading too, or just I've seen there was like a
Speaker 1: TikTok that was going around about this woman who was
Speaker 1: talking about how she got stood up on a date
Speaker 1: and she like, like this dude made plans to say,
Speaker 1: meet me at this restaurant this hour, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: She gets there completely ghosted, doesn't hear back from this person,
Speaker 1: and she's there and she's like, well, fuck it, Like
Speaker 1: I guess I'm here, I'm dressed up, like I'll just
Speaker 1: have something to eat or whatever, because like fuck it.
Speaker 1: And then someone reached out to her and was saying
Speaker 1: like that it happened to them too, and they there's
Speaker 1: some conspiracy out there that restaurants are posing as people
Speaker 1: just to ghost them at their restaurant because there's a
Speaker 1: higher chance that they would fucking buy something while they're
Speaker 1: there because of the sunk costpat.
Speaker 3: They did it. I love this.
Speaker 4: I love this conspiracy theory that is incredible that.
Speaker 2: I hope that's really I hope it's relieving.
Speaker 1: I mean, if I was super underhanded, i'd be like,
Speaker 1: you know, what the fuck you should be doing? Like
Speaker 1: imagine coming here, you're gonna be like you don't want
Speaker 1: to be like, oh my date left me whatever, and
Speaker 1: then walk out all sad. You'd be like, fuck it, man,
Speaker 1: I took this out. At least I will have some
Speaker 1: pasta or some seef, whatever the fuck.
Speaker 3: See have the you know I got stood Up special?
Speaker 3: You know, we just put it on the menu, I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or you do the thing where like you come
Speaker 1: by and then you act as like they're really understanding,
Speaker 1: like manager and you're like, oh, I'm sorry to did
Speaker 1: resources to go on a date?
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, I think they stood me up. I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry to hear that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Josh is a dick. Wait what you know? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wait hold on, can you can you take your glasses off?
Speaker 1: And no, I'm sorry I have to go, but you
Speaker 1: know what, I will give you appetises for half off
Speaker 1: and the first wine is me okay. But then you
Speaker 1: go back and you're like, wow, they were so kind
Speaker 1: at this restaurant, Like I got stood up and like
Speaker 1: the manager was so understanding, like, I don't know, man, this.
Speaker 3: That would that would be a doozy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, true, But I mean we're in the we're in
Speaker 1: the era of just such you know, cynical, fucking in
Speaker 1: your face scamming that like it would not.
Speaker 2: Marketing or advertising.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, if you believe this, if you work in
Speaker 1: a restaurant or something, or you have stories about this,
Speaker 1: please let us know because I am curious if other
Speaker 1: people do have any sort of anecdotal evidence that supports
Speaker 1: this theory, because anecdotal evidence is the only kind I
Speaker 1: will accept.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: And then before we go to break, just shout out
Speaker 1: to superroducer Victor, who just was like, Hey, this video
Speaker 1: is kind of trending on Twitter. It's a fucking tiger
Speaker 1: just puking, just an amount that probably would come out
Speaker 1: of a tiger's stomach, but to a human being it
Speaker 1: just seems like like a fountain.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would like I would like a nice, a
Speaker 4: nice stone fountain of this, just like a gigantic what
Speaker 4: is that?
Speaker 2: Like a what are the white tigers called?
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know, I don't know anyway, Yeah tiger
Speaker 1: I know from Power Rangers. Because that shit was not
Speaker 1: orange put it in a saber tooth tiger bombiting very hard.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's because like the animal is sick.
Speaker 1: Obviously, I'm not trying to celebrate that, but like, was
Speaker 1: was it drinking like too much Mike's hard lemonade? It
Speaker 1: looked like Mike's hard lemonade.
Speaker 4: I think you just drinks too drink too much water.
Speaker 4: I mean it is a cat, I mean cats. It's
Speaker 4: like I think it's third in their ranking of like
Speaker 4: things they love to do is just puking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they just got cats just sick. Well, doesn't matter. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they love a good puke.
Speaker 1: I got two cats, and I'm always like, wow, something
Speaker 1: wrong with the cat.
Speaker 3: They haven't puked in a while.
Speaker 4: Mine loves puking. Right after the cleaners leave, I will
Speaker 4: have somebody come clean the house.
Speaker 2: And then and then you'll hear that.
Speaker 3: That weird churn. Yeah, like five minutes after they leave.
Speaker 1: Every person with a cat, even a dog, you know
Speaker 1: when they're like they're like they're just about to clear
Speaker 1: it out, and you have to basically get your paper,
Speaker 1: towels and life fucking ready and be like not, they're
Speaker 1: not there here right here, right.
Speaker 3: Here, right here, right right right here there designated.
Speaker 1: But I do not have any more carpet cleaner, so
Speaker 1: just do it straight into my hands.
Speaker 3: Fuck it all?
Speaker 1: Right, enough about that, Let's take a quick break and
Speaker 1: we'll be right back and talking about more of the
Speaker 1: goings on on this planet.
Speaker 2: And we're back. Skibbity toilet is trending.
Speaker 1: Uh And I remember very early on I was like,
Speaker 1: what in the hell is skibbitty tot?
Speaker 3: Why is this trending again?
Speaker 1: Okay, so for people who don't know, it is like
Speaker 1: the bizarre fucking gen alpha meme shit that is taken
Speaker 1: people by storm with people with their heads coming out
Speaker 1: of toilets. You have like surveillance, like CCTV camera head
Speaker 1: dudes and like they're I don't anyway.
Speaker 3: So it sounds like the authorities.
Speaker 1: In Russia are investigating it because a man went to
Speaker 1: police last week and said he had quote accidentally seen
Speaker 1: the Skibbity toilet web series and then he said I
Speaker 1: am now concerned about its effect on children, and a
Speaker 1: law enforcement source said that the man had demanded that
Speaker 1: access to the videos be blocked for their detrimental effect
Speaker 1: on kids. And now the guy is asking that the
Speaker 1: creator also be investigated, and I don't know. Apparently, like
Speaker 1: now people are like actually looking at that and trying
Speaker 1: to see if there's some like weird spiritual quote spiritual or.
Speaker 3: Moral ideology in it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, yes, I look at that, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is just freaking me out. But then I also
Speaker 1: chalk that up to like I'm not as online as
Speaker 1: some of these kids are, where like every sort of
Speaker 1: texture I have that paints my media understanding is from
Speaker 1: things online.
Speaker 3: In this weird pastiche.
Speaker 4: I wonder if salad fingers was ever investigated for its
Speaker 4: effect on children right right right, because I'm like, that's
Speaker 4: the only that's the only thing from my generation that
Speaker 4: I can like into skivity toilet of, Like what the
Speaker 4: fuck did I just see?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Definitely definitely weird, but I don't I don't know if
Speaker 4: it's trying to poison the youth them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a funny thing, like just like a reaction,
Speaker 1: like the guy sounds so weird. It's like, I so
Speaker 1: I accidentally saw this, and I think it could hurt
Speaker 1: the kid's brains.
Speaker 3: Uh, And that's all I have to say about that.
Speaker 3: But I don't know. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1: That sounds like something that like maybe I would do
Speaker 1: when if I was like eighty years old and be like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I don't understand it, so I
Speaker 1: need of we need to figure out what I'm going fence.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: So yeah, good luck, good luck with that investigation of
Speaker 1: Skibbity too. I don't know if if there's a way
Speaker 1: they could even quantify what the fuck is going on,
Speaker 1: then then great.
Speaker 3: Fine.
Speaker 1: The Department of Justice is trending because they have released
Speaker 1: a report talking about the Uvalde shooting and the failed
Speaker 1: response of law enforcement and basically the it should not
Speaker 1: be at all surprising that their determination here is that
Speaker 1: it was an utter failure on the part of law
Speaker 1: enforcement from just standing back and turning it into like
Speaker 1: some kind of barricaded shooter situation. I'm like, yeah, apparently,
Speaker 1: like I didn't realize that almost four hundred, nearly four
Speaker 1: hundred officers responded to the scene and we're all just trying.
Speaker 3: To figure out what to do. What's going on? Oh?
Speaker 4: I mean no, some of them found stuff to do,
Speaker 4: you know, like yeah, keeping parents from going in and
Speaker 4: saving their children.
Speaker 1: And right, one of the lawyers representing some of the
Speaker 1: parents were also just saying like, yeah, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a failure, but like, let's be real, it's
Speaker 1: because this guy had a fucking assault rifle. That's the
Speaker 1: thing that was That was the thing that was actually
Speaker 1: preventing cops to go in because they're like, oh, this
Speaker 1: guy actually hasn't.
Speaker 2: Been because no one wanted to be vaporized.
Speaker 4: Yeah, high velocity rounds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so you know, well, how about you know,
Speaker 1: what if do you have any recommendations for gun control?
Speaker 3: Maybe rather than being like oh yeah, man, that was
Speaker 3: an l for law enforcement.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even like Merrik Garland was like, those weapons
Speaker 1: have only a place in the battlefield, not in a classroom.
Speaker 1: It's not like someone brought it in for show and tell.
Speaker 1: It's like it should be like that those are weapons
Speaker 1: of war that shouldn't be in the hands.
Speaker 3: Of people at all. How about that, Okay, whatever, we'll
Speaker 3: see what they do. Hey, look, this country's allergic to
Speaker 3: dealing with the core cause of issue. So here's this
Speaker 3: bunker that your kid can high.
Speaker 1: In, right exactly, this whiteboard can actually stop a full
Speaker 1: on tank round. So also, here's another thing that's trending
Speaker 1: subway apparently they have a new Sidekicks menu, and whatever
Speaker 1: this means is that apparently this month they are going
Speaker 1: to have like all this like foot long shit that's
Speaker 1: coming out, like a foot long cookie, or a foot
Speaker 1: long churro, or like a foot long like a foot
Speaker 1: long pretzel.
Speaker 3: Now, hang on, Miles, I need you to go back
Speaker 3: to this foot long cookie. What's this? Looks at it?
Speaker 3: It looks like basically the length.
Speaker 1: It looks like a flat, deflated bun that they would
Speaker 1: use to make the sandwich.
Speaker 4: It does look like a bun that has not risen,
Speaker 4: and they just drizzled chocolate chips on top, right right,
Speaker 4: totally unleavened bread. As a fan of as a fan
Speaker 4: of cookies.
Speaker 2: You're a cookie lever. Yes, I've never had a foot.
Speaker 3: Long cookie, so I am curious now.
Speaker 1: It's it's hard, Like part of me is like this
Speaker 1: is so gimmicky. But the other thing is I love
Speaker 1: subway cookies.
Speaker 3: I do. They're good, right, I like a subway cause
Speaker 3: like when they when they come right out the oven.
Speaker 4: I remember when I was a kid, like I used
Speaker 4: to have the I'd ask them for like when y'all
Speaker 4: make the cookies come in five minutes after you get them.
Speaker 3: Back and warm.
Speaker 1: But like this thing, it looks like a like a
Speaker 1: like a flip flop that had like the little part
Speaker 1: that keeps your foot on and like goes between your toe,
Speaker 1: Like that part just blew off, you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean? A cookie flip flop. That's just be
Speaker 3: giving this stuff away.
Speaker 1: A cook a flip flop you can eat after a
Speaker 1: long day walking on the street New York City.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a yum a yumma. You might want to hold
Speaker 3: on to some of these. I just don't know. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm worried about you. I'm worried about you, subway.
Speaker 1: A long Like there's something distressing to me about a
Speaker 1: foot long cookie.
Speaker 4: Worry about them, worry about my ass for wanting this
Speaker 4: cookie so bad.
Speaker 3: I want this cookie? Yeah, let us know.
Speaker 1: Do you want a foot long cookie? It's just it's
Speaker 1: just not in the shape of a cookie.
Speaker 3: That's why I think. I think that's what's alarming to me.
Speaker 4: I think they just baked them in the bread tins,
Speaker 4: like they just put they just line the bread tind
Speaker 4: that they make the bread cookie.
Speaker 1: It looks almost precisely like like we said, it's just
Speaker 1: a flattened, unleavened, you know, white bread role for a
Speaker 1: subway sandwich.
Speaker 3: But it's it's.
Speaker 1: Cookie, like a foot long turil. That makes sense. This
Speaker 1: like other pretzel monstrosity.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, should be about a foot long as far
Speaker 3: as I'm concerned. Yeah, well we'll see. We'll see.
Speaker 4: Also, foot long pretzel does seem appealing, But that might
Speaker 4: be too much pretzel.
Speaker 3: It might be.
Speaker 4: It's hard to tell because I've never like un knotted
Speaker 4: a pretzel to see, like how much pretzel I'm.
Speaker 2: Actually work, But this thing looks like a police baton.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like your forearm. It looks like a forearm.
Speaker 3: It's too it's too thick.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, you know what I mean. I'm just but
Speaker 2: I do like I do like a pretzel.
Speaker 3: The foot long cookie? Is this weird?
Speaker 1: This looks like a weird It looks like something like
Speaker 1: my grandmother would swing at me if I was misbehaving.
Speaker 4: The one thing that worries me about it is I
Speaker 4: am lacked those intolerant and the amount of milk I
Speaker 4: would need for foot long cookie is unhealthy.
Speaker 3: One gallon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you would have to bring a fucking gallon to
Speaker 1: fucking get through this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how much milk do I need for this foot
Speaker 3: long cookie?
Speaker 1: Well, guys, keep yourself safe out there in a world
Speaker 1: of foot long cookies and you know, terrible gun control
Speaker 1: and just all the stuff that's out there.
Speaker 3: Yeah slipping.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't get caught there out there lacking of a
Speaker 1: gallon of milk when you encounter a foot long cookie.
Speaker 2: But anyway, thank you so much for joining us this
Speaker 2: week and today.
Speaker 1: We'll be back tomorrow with a brand new episode and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much. And then yeah.
Speaker 1: We'll head into the weekend and all that. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we got another fantastic episode for you tomorrow. Until then,
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, take care of each other, get
Speaker 1: the vaccine, do all that.
Speaker 3: Don't do nothing about any kind of.
Speaker 2: Hatred or bigotry or nothing like. Please be a person,
Speaker 2: be a force for good.
Speaker 3: All right, we'll talk to you later. Bye bye,