Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Josh, and we can officially kick off
Speaker 1: the holidays with the annual release of our Star Wars
Speaker 1: Holiday special episode. I hope by now it's become an
Speaker 1: annual tradition in your home rather than a deepening annoyance,
Speaker 1: and I hope it brings you glad tidings rather than
Speaker 1: rage listening. I know some of you have been at
Speaker 1: it since September, but let the twenty twenty three holidays begin.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Stuff you should Know, a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark with
Speaker 1: Charles W. Chuckers Bryant and Jerry Jerome Roland.
Speaker 2: Who's the Wookie mother? Yeah, Mala, that was the Wookie wife.
Speaker 2: Oh and mother?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: Chewbacca's mom is not with them any longer. She left.
Speaker 1: She was not about to appear in that.
Speaker 2: She went out the window. I'm excited about this. I
Speaker 2: have to say we should say happy Star Wars Day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: today is December seventeenth. I have my opening night tickets.
Speaker 1: Do you really sure? Wow?
Speaker 2: You know I you into it? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will definitely go see it in the theater.
Speaker 1: But well, I won't be their opening night sure. I've
Speaker 1: gotten really adept at like ignoring spoilers, people talking about
Speaker 1: stuff all like, so I can I could conceivably see
Speaker 1: this movie a month after it comes out and still
Speaker 1: going fresh. Yeah I'm an ostrich.
Speaker 2: Yeah you black yourself out. Yeah, you go dark I do.
Speaker 2: I make myself go to sleep face, you go to
Speaker 2: the dark side.
Speaker 1: I've been there a while now.
Speaker 2: Well, Happy Star Wars Day, though, I'm sure that I
Speaker 2: think this pairs nicely with Christmas Star Wars Day. It's
Speaker 2: all come together.
Speaker 1: Yes, I already missed Life Day though, so happy belated
Speaker 1: Life Day. Cha.
Speaker 2: Are they celebrating it this year?
Speaker 1: November seventeenth?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's every three years our Caine. Yeah, man,
Speaker 2: weird job.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's every three years. Started in nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 1: Let's do the math, shall we? Quick?
Speaker 2: Math break? I believe that twenty fourteen was the last
Speaker 2: Life Day. Man, we just missed it, and then again
Speaker 2: in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: Okay, So twenty seventeen will celebrate Life Day. We'll put
Speaker 1: on our red robes, our ultra long straight ironed wigs, sure,
Speaker 1: and we'll celebrate Life Day the way it was meant to.
Speaker 2: Yes, and if you have no idea what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: We are talking about Life Day, which is a celebration
Speaker 2: that wookies in the Star Wars universe have every three years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like their Christmas. Yeah, they Celebronica or their Kwanta,
Speaker 1: their tet.
Speaker 2: Supposedly, it's sort of like Earth Day too. They celebrate
Speaker 2: the diversity of their eCos and also remembrance of the dead,
Speaker 2: and they also give the gifts.
Speaker 1: They're like the fins basically.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a very interesting part of the Star Wars cannon.
Speaker 1: It is, and it's almost entirely made up, dashed off
Speaker 1: you could possibly say, by George Lucas in the seventies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's the basis of what has become derided as
Speaker 1: like one of the worst things that ever happened to
Speaker 1: the Star Wars galaxy.
Speaker 2: Well, not only that, one of the worst things ever
Speaker 2: aired on television.
Speaker 1: Yeah, with this galaxy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, at first that sounds like hyperbole, like, come on,
Speaker 2: it's because it was Star Wars and we had high expectations.
Speaker 2: But it's really that bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The people who say that haven't seen even a
Speaker 1: second of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, However, I watched it when I was a kid,
Speaker 2: then again this week. Yeah, and you watched it twice
Speaker 2: this week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I watched it last night and this morning.
Speaker 2: There's something about it. It's mesmerizing, it really is. It's
Speaker 2: one of those things that you start watching it and
Speaker 2: you want to turn it off, but you want to
Speaker 2: see just how absurd it can get.
Speaker 1: Almost Yeah, and it starts absurd, it stays absurd in
Speaker 1: the middle. Yeah, it's increasingly more absurd. It's a little
Speaker 1: less absurd. Finish is super absurd.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a train wreck in every single sense
Speaker 2: of the word, top to bottom.
Speaker 1: It's extraordinarily difficult to overstate how bad this is. And
Speaker 1: some people, you know, in researching this, you read about it,
Speaker 1: you read descriptions of these things, and it just can't
Speaker 1: possibly be gotten across until you see it. So luckily,
Speaker 1: as we will see, you can go onto YouTube and
Speaker 1: watch it, and you may even enjoy this episode more
Speaker 1: if you pause, go spend two hours watching this thing,
Speaker 1: and then come back and laugh along with us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a great Over the years, there have been
Speaker 2: many segments of it on YouTube from badly dubbed VHS tapes,
Speaker 2: but there's one really pretty good version of it in full.
Speaker 2: It brought to you by w HIO Dayton, Ohio, Channel seven, Ohio.
Speaker 2: Because that flashes up on the screen periodically.
Speaker 1: Man, it is high quality.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks good.
Speaker 1: It has to basically be the copy that the actual
Speaker 1: affiliate broadcast. Yeah, it's like that. That quality compared to
Speaker 1: the other stuff floating around on YouTube, clearly recorded on
Speaker 1: a nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 2: PCR, Yeah, which were really expensive.
Speaker 1: Very expensive. I did some calculating on West Egg. Okay,
Speaker 1: so the average VCR went for about one thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: There were brand new, it's amazing one thousand dollars in
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy eight money, So they were about thirty eight
Speaker 1: hundred dollars in twenty fourteen money.
Speaker 2: Crazy.
Speaker 1: Luckily there were some rich people out there recording this stuff,
Speaker 1: and the wealthy have saved us all again, yes, yet again,
Speaker 1: as they always do.
Speaker 2: Yes. And we need to shout out some articles that
Speaker 2: we use for this. There's great a great article in
Speaker 2: Vanity Fair called the Han Solo Comedy Hour exclamation point
Speaker 2: by Frank de Jacomo, and then they're the Star Wars
Speaker 2: Holiday Special was the worst thing on television ever by
Speaker 2: So when we kind of know Alex Pasternaka from Motherboard, Yeah,
Speaker 2: which is not Wired, it's Vice. Yes, So we wrote
Speaker 2: a little bit for Motherboard back then and we had
Speaker 2: a call with that.
Speaker 1: We're like, we're like old Motherboard vets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, basically, wasn't there one more?
Speaker 1: There was another one and I don't know who wrote
Speaker 1: this one, chuck, Yeah, it's the titles the Star Wars
Speaker 1: Holiday Special. George Lucas wants to smash every copy of
Speaker 1: with a sledgehammer.
Speaker 2: Which was a famous quote supposedly at a convention by Lucas.
Speaker 1: Yes, which is not correct.
Speaker 2: He didn't ever say that. No, Okay, that that sounded
Speaker 2: like something that people made up.
Speaker 1: Yes, but if you go on the internet you will
Speaker 1: quickly believe that he did. Sure apparently didn't.
Speaker 2: So I'm sure he felt that way though, clearly, you know.
Speaker 1: Because he did appear on Robot Chicken and I think
Speaker 1: two thousand and five on the Therapist's Couch talking about
Speaker 1: how much he hated the special. All right, so let's
Speaker 1: set the background, shall we Shall we go back to
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy seven, Yeah, summer.
Speaker 2: Getting the old wayback machine.
Speaker 1: All right, let's do it.
Speaker 2: All right, here we are there's watersn Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 2: the little six year old excited about Star Wars.
Speaker 1: I am. I've just turned one.
Speaker 2: Yes, you don't know what's up yet.
Speaker 1: I please forgive me if I urinate myself.
Speaker 2: No problem.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So what has happened is Star Wars has become a huge,
Speaker 2: huge hit, seemingly out of nowhere. Yeah, establishing George Lucas
Speaker 2: is one of the brilliant young minds in filmmaking, even
Speaker 2: though in this first movie it was his first huge,
Speaker 2: huge breakout hit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure. I don't mean talk about a
Speaker 1: breakout hit like no one had ever seen anything like
Speaker 1: it before. No, two thousand and one had come out
Speaker 1: in the late sixties. Yeah, but it wasn't it killed.
Speaker 1: It still is inaccessible to all audiences. You know, it's
Speaker 1: prett of a cerebral film.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not an adventure movie.
Speaker 1: This was Wars. This is like basically swashbuckling on the screen.
Speaker 1: But you know, in a galaxy far far away, Star
Speaker 1: Wars just changed everything and it came on just like
Speaker 1: a hammer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a new hope by the way, yes, and
Speaker 2: then then we're going to get stuff wrong, nerds, So yes,
Speaker 2: just go ahead and get your little fingers ready to
Speaker 2: email us, like if.
Speaker 1: It wasn't driven home that I'm not a nerd by
Speaker 1: the fact that I don't have opening night tickets or
Speaker 1: any tickets yet, give me a break, and by proxy
Speaker 1: chuck too, Okay, thank you. So it's it's hard to
Speaker 1: state how great Star Wars was in everyone's mind. Yea right.
Speaker 1: Bill Murray came out with that lounge singer Star Wars thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was everywhere and if you if you just listen
Speaker 1: to the lyrics of it, he's really it's just Bill
Speaker 1: Murray singing about how much Star Wars is awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right. So by the following year, George Lucas was he
Speaker 1: wanted to figure out a way to keep audiences just
Speaker 1: engaged with the whole Star Wars franchise that he was
Speaker 1: just starting to build. But he knew the Empire Strikes
Speaker 1: Back was a couple more years out, sure, so he
Speaker 1: I think he was approached by some TV executives who said,
Speaker 1: have you considered doing some sort of TV special? They're
Speaker 1: all the rage right now. We have a graphic that's
Speaker 1: really awesome that we set aside just for TV specials
Speaker 1: here at CBS. Why don't you let us let's get
Speaker 1: together and do a Star Wars special.
Speaker 2: That's right. Producers Gary Smith and Dwight Hemion. We're working
Speaker 2: over at CBS, and they say, this is a great
Speaker 2: way to keep the spirit alive while you're making your
Speaker 2: other movie. Maybe move some more.
Speaker 1: Toys, yeah, which George Lucas got a cut of all
Speaker 1: the toys.
Speaker 2: Sure. So it was right before Thanksgiving, and he said
Speaker 2: there'd be a lot of people watching TV pre holiday season,
Speaker 2: or I guess in the holiday season.
Speaker 1: Well, the weekend before Thanksgiving, it's like everybody's shopping, sitting
Speaker 1: around family like waiting to actually do stuff. That's right,
Speaker 1: perfect time to broadcast something on TV.
Speaker 2: So Lucas says, all right, let's to do this. I
Speaker 2: don't have a ton of time, but how about this.
Speaker 2: I'll get I'll get a story together and then you
Speaker 2: can go hire a whiz bang team of veteran writers
Speaker 2: and producers and directors.
Speaker 1: Whatever genre you think is appropriate. And those are the
Speaker 1: words that will haunt on George Lucas to his grave.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Lucas said, here's my idea. I want it
Speaker 2: to be based on wookies and I want it to
Speaker 2: take place on their home planet of Kiazuk or Wookie
Speaker 2: Planet C.
Speaker 1: Is that what he's saying, Kazuk.
Speaker 2: That's how it's pronounced in the episode the Holiday Special,
Speaker 2: but it's also pronounced different ways. Other times.
Speaker 1: I would have pronounced it Cashie spell it ka s
Speaker 1: h y y y k, Yeah, which I mean.
Speaker 2: I guess that sounds like Chewbuck's planet sure, also called
Speaker 2: G five six twenty three. Wookie planet C or Edeon
Speaker 2: is a mid rim planet. Right.
Speaker 1: So the whole reason apparently that George Lucas was interested
Speaker 1: in furing the Wookies was it is what we in
Speaker 1: show business call low hanging fruit. The reason why it
Speaker 1: was low hanging fruit was because they had just established
Speaker 1: the different scenes that would make the cut for Empire
Speaker 1: Strikes Back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: How did you pronounce it again?
Speaker 2: Kazuk.
Speaker 1: Kazuk had not made the cut. Even prior to this,
Speaker 1: apparently for a new hope, George Lucas had whipped up
Speaker 1: a forty page that's known as the Wookie Bible. It's
Speaker 1: like a forty page supplement that's all about Kazuk and
Speaker 1: Wookies and Chewbacca and his family and everything about wookiedom. Right,
Speaker 1: so he's like, I've got this thing already. You know
Speaker 1: established I love wookies. They didn't make the cut. I'm
Speaker 1: a little sad about that. They're not gonna kazuk is
Speaker 1: not going to show up in Empire Strikes Back. Let's
Speaker 1: build the entire special around wookies. It's basically the one
Speaker 1: demand me George Lucas has. That's it. I'll be totally
Speaker 1: hands off from this point on which you kind of was.
Speaker 1: He totally was. It was actually this experience that apparently
Speaker 1: taught him to be the very hands on person that
Speaker 1: he is famous for being. It came out of this
Speaker 1: Christmas special.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, he was burned and he had an iron grip
Speaker 2: after that on everything. So here's some of the folks
Speaker 2: behind it. Bruce Valanche, famous TV writer. You probably had
Speaker 2: seen him on Hollywood Squares.
Speaker 1: Wasn't he suspected of being Thomas Pynchone for a while.
Speaker 1: I don't know, or was Thomas Pinchon on Hollywood Squares?
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I may be confabulating some stuff confounding. Yeah, there's some
Speaker 1: con of some sort going on.
Speaker 2: It sounds like it. Yeah, So Valanche was hired as
Speaker 2: a writer a guy named Lenny Rips was hired as
Speaker 2: a writer who.
Speaker 1: Has some great quotes in that Vanity Fair article he does.
Speaker 2: His first quote was, we were really excited because this
Speaker 2: is Star Wars. How could it lose?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Famous last words?
Speaker 2: Who else was hired? There was a husband and wife team,
Speaker 2: the Welches. Yeah, who are the parents of folk singer
Speaker 2: Gillian Welch, who I'm a big fan of, And I
Speaker 2: had no idea that her parents. They were producers slash
Speaker 2: songwriters of the day. They were big on the variety
Speaker 2: show scene, which would turn out to be a really
Speaker 2: key cog in this whole experience.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, right about here, Jerry should insert
Speaker 1: a needle coming off of our record sound effect. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: thanks Jerry, So Chuck, you just said singer songwriters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what would that have to do with Star Wars? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, actually, in this Star Wars Holiday special for those
Speaker 1: of you who hadn't seen it, there are musical numbers.
Speaker 1: They decided from the outset that there should be musical numbers.
Speaker 1: And the reason that they decided that there should be
Speaker 1: musical numbers is because the people who sold George Lucas
Speaker 1: and at the time it was the Star Wars Corporation
Speaker 1: was what it was called. Yeah, on the idea of
Speaker 1: doing this TV special was that everyone would love variety show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the seventies.
Speaker 1: Great idea, let's do a variety show. The problem was this,
Speaker 1: Apparently George Lucas didn't watch enough TV. Yeah, and he
Speaker 1: also overly trusted people who talk to him. Sure, because
Speaker 1: by nineteen seventy eight, yes, variety shows had dominated television
Speaker 1: for over ten years, but it had come to an end.
Speaker 1: It was getting stale.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're talking to Carol Burnett show, one of my favorite.
Speaker 1: Had just been canceled after eleven seasons. Yeah, Big Red.
Speaker 2: Flag Sonny and Cher had just had its last season. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean what else, like he was still going on.
Speaker 1: Probably the Kihaw still on Solid Gold, had yet to
Speaker 1: come on and take up the mantle.
Speaker 2: That would never write a show.
Speaker 1: Oh, it was a little bit. There was talking in
Speaker 1: between the songs.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Remember the Mandrel Sisters show.
Speaker 1: I never watched that one. Well it was with that
Speaker 1: country chic thing that happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a big deal in the it's kind
Speaker 2: of happening again, I think.
Speaker 1: Oh, because of that dude, the guy who won All
Speaker 1: the CMA Awards. I don't know, he's like he's he
Speaker 1: came along and he's like, actually country. His dad's like
Speaker 1: a coal miner for real from Kentucky. I think I
Speaker 1: know you mean Chris so something. Yeah, yeah, he is good.
Speaker 1: He's come along and been like, what are you guys doing?
Speaker 2: Well, there's a revival in like good country music again.
Speaker 2: That's great, like in the tradition of Merle Haggard and
Speaker 2: Shore Cash.
Speaker 1: And I guess that's probably where the country she came from,
Speaker 1: because there was actually good country going on.
Speaker 2: Yeh, Johnny Cash out of a variety show?
Speaker 1: Did he really? Oh yeah, I knew they did, like
Speaker 1: a Sunday singing thing like out in Virginia.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he had his own variety show was actually pretty good.
Speaker 2: There's some like really great performances.
Speaker 1: Do you know how many nerds.
Speaker 2: Are like, get back to star warm? I know, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. All right, So the Variety Show is dying
Speaker 2: sort of, and so they figure what a great time
Speaker 2: to take the biggest movie property on the planet and
Speaker 2: wedget into the Variety Show. Mill you.
Speaker 1: I don't know if wedge is the right word. I
Speaker 1: think maybe nestle it in there. And then start hitting
Speaker 1: it with the blunt edge of an axe until it
Speaker 1: mashes into that crevice. You know, Because this is the
Speaker 1: time when Fantasy Island had just started, Mork and Mindy
Speaker 1: was about to change things, Charlie's Angels was getting huge.
Speaker 1: It basically television as we knew it from nineteen eighty
Speaker 1: to whenever the real world came along. Just escape ast
Speaker 1: television is what they called. It was starting and it
Speaker 1: was the hip new thing. So basically, if they had
Speaker 1: turned Han Solo and Princess Leah and Luke Skywalker into
Speaker 1: maybe you know, sexy detectives, it might have gone over
Speaker 1: even better. But they went the other way. They decided
Speaker 1: to latch onto this extraordinarily stale genre of television, and
Speaker 1: they hired the best in the business. Like there was
Speaker 1: a quote from I think Lenny Rips who was saying,
Speaker 1: like we had literally a dream team, a variety show
Speaker 1: dream team, and everybody was good, but there were probably
Speaker 1: no bad ways on the Titanic.
Speaker 2: He there, that's a great quote. Yeah. The guy they
Speaker 2: hired you directed initially was a dude named David at Coomba,
Speaker 2: and he had made his name for Welcome to the
Speaker 2: fillmore East. It was a concert documentary with Van Morrison
Speaker 2: Van Morrison and the Birds in nineteen seventy one, and
Speaker 2: he actually was at usc Film School the same time
Speaker 2: as Lucas, even though they didn't know each other, and
Speaker 2: he only ended up directing about three segments of the
Speaker 2: thing before he quit. Yet before he walked off, some
Speaker 2: say he was actually let go, but we'll get to
Speaker 2: him in a minute. Who replaced him. Okay, as we
Speaker 2: get along down this gross road, well.
Speaker 1: Let's take a little break because I'm overly excited.
Speaker 3: Okay, softly, Josh, So.
Speaker 2: All right, so we've established most of the main players.
Speaker 2: We'll get to a few more. We should point out
Speaker 2: that Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford and Carrie Fischer, Peter Mayhew.
Speaker 1: They had no grounds to refuse to be on this.
Speaker 2: Basically, yeah, pretty much. They were not huge, huge stars,
Speaker 2: yet they could throw their weight around and say this
Speaker 2: is terrible and I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: They were big overnight because of Star Wars, for sure,
Speaker 1: but they weren't to the adoring public.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: Back at the studio they could still be bossed around,
Speaker 1: and this was the result of it. And you can
Speaker 1: tell also just from watching the actual special like, Harrison
Speaker 1: Ford is not happy to be there at any point.
Speaker 1: Oh no, Princess Leah is clearly on drugs. Was she
Speaker 1: on drugs at this point? If you watch it, she's
Speaker 1: on drugs. Especially the ending scene.
Speaker 2: Mark Hamill, it looks like he's happy to be there.
Speaker 1: Actually he was fine, but apparently he said, no, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing a musical number. Yeah, and if you watch
Speaker 1: his part, wedging a musical number in there would have
Speaker 1: been even more painful. Sure, but they everybody who was
Speaker 1: part of the actual Star Wars franchise that wasn't wearing
Speaker 1: like a full body costume, yeah, was like I really
Speaker 1: wish I wasn't here. And you can.
Speaker 2: Tell, oh yeah. In fact, in the opening credit sequence,
Speaker 2: they're showing the picture the you know, the faces of
Speaker 2: the people, and you see Harrison Ford as if he's
Speaker 2: flying the Millennium Falcon, and you can you can just
Speaker 2: hear the guy all screen going, now, look at the
Speaker 2: camera and just give a nod. Just look at the
Speaker 2: camera and give a nod. And he finally you can
Speaker 2: tell he's pissed off, and he looks up at the
Speaker 2: camera and just sort of smirks.
Speaker 1: Yeah and points at the camera like okay, I'm looking
Speaker 1: at the camera and then goes back to what he's doing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2: It felt bad for him so early on Valanche and others.
Speaker 1: Did you feel bad before him?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 1: Really? I mean, like, come on, it's Harrison Ford's Han Solo.
Speaker 1: He has to go do this for like five days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I felt terrible for him. I think it's hilarious that
Speaker 1: they had to do this, especially now.
Speaker 2: Well, early on a Valanche and others knew that they
Speaker 2: may be in trouble because they decided not to subtitle
Speaker 2: any of the Wookie dialogue right, and they literally started
Speaker 2: after a brief opening scene setting it up here. Here's
Speaker 2: the basic plot is Han Solo is trying to get
Speaker 2: Chewbacca back to Kazuk in time for Life Day so
Speaker 2: he can celebrate with his family.
Speaker 1: That's the basis of the entire two hours I see.
Speaker 2: Basis the entire two hours. They encounter a space battle
Speaker 2: and they're delayed, and the next two hours are kind
Speaker 2: of what's going on while the delay is happening.
Speaker 1: Back on Kazuk. Back on Kazuk, because you hear like, oh, okay, well,
Speaker 1: Han Solo and Chewbacca evading the Imperial Guard and all
Speaker 1: that stuff for two hours. I would watch that, sure,
Speaker 1: I would too. Yeah, that's not what they show.
Speaker 2: Killing time at the Wookie household, that is what they show. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what they do.
Speaker 1: It's people hanging out waiting for Chewbacca, worrying about him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then killing time while they wait for him to
Speaker 1: come back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally, so and so hold on, So you say
Speaker 2: there's a setup, right, Yeah, that's the initial setup.
Speaker 1: And then chuck. That's followed by this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's followed by literally ten minutes, ten solid minutes
Speaker 2: of incomprehensible Wookie speak.
Speaker 1: So let's join it for a second, shall we. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's all enjoy it. And again, you said ten minutes,
Speaker 1: and you're not exaggerating, you're not being hyperbolic. You can
Speaker 1: time it. That's it's ten minutes of Wookie's talking to
Speaker 1: each other with no subtitles.
Speaker 2: Fortunately, I couldn't follow it at first, Like I didn't
Speaker 2: even know who it was. I thought it might have
Speaker 2: been Chewbacca's mom and dad. Oh yeah, that's and little brother. Sure,
Speaker 2: And I don't find out until later when Mark Camill
Speaker 2: shows up via skype call and says, he really explains
Speaker 2: everything that had just happened, like your Chewbacca's father, Itchy,
Speaker 2: your Chewbacca's son Lumpy Lumpy yeah, and your Chewbacca's wife, oh, Mala, yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 1: So before everybody starts like freaking out, we know that
Speaker 1: that's actually their nicknames. Their real names are. His father
Speaker 1: is a Tichik cook, a Titchik cook, it's really hard
Speaker 1: to pronounce. Mulatto Buck is his wife, and his son
Speaker 1: is Lumpo or ump but.
Speaker 2: As named by Lucas.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but Lucas also named him Lumpy Itchy and Mala.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So they're all back there wringing their hands, trying to
Speaker 1: figure out ways to pass the time until they get
Speaker 1: word from Chewbacca that he's made it to uh what
Speaker 1: is it? Ketchuk Zuk Kazuk. Say ketchup, ketchup or cats
Speaker 1: up if you're fancy. But Chewbacca is having trouble getting
Speaker 1: back to Kochuk because there's Kazuk, because there's a blockade
Speaker 1: by the Empire and they're looking for rebels, specifically Chewbacca,
Speaker 1: who I didn't realize this. He's the most famous Wookie
Speaker 1: of all. Did you know that? Yeah, of course I
Speaker 1: didn't know.
Speaker 2: That. Well, I mean he's the only one that really
Speaker 2: appears in the movies, all right, I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1: We're seeing like, you know, these people's view of your universe.
Speaker 1: What about back on Kazook.
Speaker 2: Yes, he might have just been a fly by Night wookie, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: but not the case very famous wiki.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he really loved to like soak in his fame.
Speaker 2: All right, So he realizes there's a problem. Valanche. He
Speaker 2: goes to Lucas and is like, I don't know, man,
Speaker 2: this is your world, but it may not be the
Speaker 2: strongest thing to do to set this in wokie land
Speaker 2: and have all this incomprehensible dialogue. And he says he
Speaker 2: was met with a glacial stare.
Speaker 1: Well he put it a little differently than that.
Speaker 2: Well, he said glacial stare. He did.
Speaker 1: The glacial stare that he got was for this quote.
Speaker 1: He said, these people just talk and what sounds like
Speaker 1: fat people having an orgasm. Yeah, he goes, if you want,
Speaker 1: you can set up a tape recorder in my bedroom
Speaker 1: and I'll do all of the follying it for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He's a large guy, he is.
Speaker 1: So that's what got the glacial stare. But Valanche later
Speaker 1: said that from this, there was one development meeting that
Speaker 1: Lucas attended, and it was here's the Wookie Bible, tell
Speaker 1: me what you got. And Valanche said he and the
Speaker 1: other writers and producers and director were just kind of
Speaker 1: throwing ideas, and George Lucas would either say like, no,
Speaker 1: that doesn't work, give him a glacial stare, or say, yes,
Speaker 1: that's exactly it. Yes, let's make this a variety show.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And there was a little bit of background there.
Speaker 2: The CANTEENA players in the band had appeared on other
Speaker 2: variety shows at that point, and I think it went
Speaker 2: over fairly well, just as a short segment on like
Speaker 2: the Richard Pryor Variety Show or Donnie Marie ye Man.
Speaker 2: There were a lot of variety shows.
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. It was that was television.
Speaker 1: That's what you did, Like The Brady's. The show had
Speaker 1: its course and then it became a variety show. It
Speaker 1: was just everybody loved variety shows. Yeah, I'll do. By
Speaker 1: this time, though, everybody was sick of variety shows and
Speaker 1: so it really was a terrible choice.
Speaker 2: In fact, they even hired a couple of writers from
Speaker 2: Shields and Yarnell, which I hadn't heard of. I oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I watched it. It was at least creepy. This mind
Speaker 2: couple who had their own variety show, and they figured
Speaker 2: these two will be great because they are used to
Speaker 2: working without words.
Speaker 1: Right, and so there is a certain logic to the
Speaker 1: variety show. It's not just all over the place. It's
Speaker 1: just that variety shows were popular.
Speaker 2: Yea.
Speaker 1: At the time, somebody was like, well, wookies, you don't
Speaker 1: understand what they're saying. So this is all going to
Speaker 1: be very physical. So these people who who did what
Speaker 1: is it shields in yar Now, yeah, that's a perfect choice.
Speaker 1: That makes complete sense. You can see this whole, this
Speaker 1: whole process of leading up to the point where it
Speaker 1: was produced and shot and everything. Yeah, a series of like,
Speaker 1: oh we have this problem, well here's a fix.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that leads to another problem. Well we'll fix
Speaker 2: it with this.
Speaker 1: And no one's stepping back and being like all we've
Speaker 1: done is cree We ate a series of problems that
Speaker 1: are going to come together and make one extraordinarily large
Speaker 1: problem that will become legendary. No one did that, and
Speaker 1: so the whole thing was made.
Speaker 2: That's right, and it eventually airs.
Speaker 1: On November seventeenth, nineteen seventy eight, a Friday, at eight
Speaker 1: pm Eastern time.
Speaker 2: That's right, And according to Nielsen ratings, it attracted thirteen
Speaker 2: million viewers lost the second hour just in the US.
Speaker 1: It aired in six or seven countries total.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no one cares about that.
Speaker 1: I guess not because none of those are on the internet.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It finished second to the Love Boat in the second arm, sorry,
Speaker 2: from eight to nine, and in the next hour actually
Speaker 2: finished behind part two of a mini series about Pearl
Speaker 2: Harbor starring Angie Dickinson. So yeah, it didn't even win
Speaker 2: their respective hours.
Speaker 1: No, thirteen million, that's that's not bad. The thing is, apparently,
Speaker 1: if you look at the Nielsen ratings graph for the
Speaker 1: first hour.
Speaker 2: Yeah we know about that graph, It's okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: We do.
Speaker 1: And then after a very important part, which we'll talk
Speaker 1: about soon, it just drops off at the end of
Speaker 1: the first hour, and that actually probably made the executives
Speaker 1: at CBS cringe for a number of reasons. Number one
Speaker 1: is this special was originally supposed to just be an hour,
Speaker 1: but so many advertisers wanted to sign one that they
Speaker 1: extended it to two hours, and it shines through. You
Speaker 1: can totally tell that this thing was never supposed to be.
Speaker 1: I think an hour might have been stretching it to
Speaker 1: tell you the truth. Oh yeah, it's thirty minutes of content,
Speaker 1: forty if you're generous, an hour and then two hours.
Speaker 1: It becomes one of the worst things that was ever
Speaker 1: put on television.
Speaker 2: All right, well, let's take a break and then we'll
Speaker 2: talk a little bit more about the actual even don't
Speaker 2: want to call it content, but it is content in
Speaker 2: the strictest definition. Sure, right after this softly jaw.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: All right, so the show itself, we've given you the
Speaker 2: main plot line, which again is that Chewy is trying
Speaker 2: to get back to his home planet to celebrate life
Speaker 2: Day with his family.
Speaker 1: Right, that's it, And again we almost barely see Chewy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The rest is his family on Kizook waiting for him
Speaker 1: to come back for Life Day.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So some of the various things they did there
Speaker 2: were guest stars. That was Harvey Korman from the Carol
Speaker 2: Burnett Show. Okay, one of my all time favorites.
Speaker 1: Him or Carol Burnett Show both. He's great. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: actually if you watch what he's doing, you're like, this
Speaker 1: is comedy for sure.
Speaker 2: Apparently he too was like the only one on set
Speaker 2: that was bringing levity. He was joking around and kind
Speaker 2: of kept spirits up.
Speaker 1: Good for him, that's what I say. And he had
Speaker 1: three different parts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he played well I don't even know the names. Actually,
Speaker 2: we could look him up, but he played a he
Speaker 2: played a Julia child like cook. There's an actual cooking segment,
Speaker 2: a long one, a very long cooking segment where Chewbacca's
Speaker 2: wife makes banthas stew.
Speaker 1: To kill some time, to kill some time on her
Speaker 1: planet and in our living room.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Harvey Corman is in Drag is a four
Speaker 2: armed Julia childlike TV chef, right, And I think it's Gormanda.
Speaker 2: It's her name, Gormonda. That makes total sense. Yeah, he
Speaker 2: also plays There's this one weird bit where Chewbacca's son
Speaker 2: tries to figure out a way to trick the stormtroopers
Speaker 2: that the Empire had come and kind of because the
Speaker 2: blockade raided the house and other properties. So he tries
Speaker 2: to trick them by I think, rigging a calm link
Speaker 2: to speak in a different voice. So he has to
Speaker 2: watch the instruction manual.
Speaker 1: He watches an instruction video.
Speaker 2: Which was Harvey Kytel as a robot.
Speaker 1: Oh, it would have been wonderful of big Harvey Kitel.
Speaker 2: Oh what did say Harvey Harvey Korm.
Speaker 1: Oh, Man Harvey Kittell murders someone in the middle of
Speaker 1: the instruction.
Speaker 2: Rade Harvey Korman. And then the final role he had
Speaker 2: was as a a bar patron in the cantina that drinks.
Speaker 2: He has a hole in the top of his head
Speaker 2: like a volcano where he pours his drinks in.
Speaker 1: That's what he drinks, and he he loves b Arthur.
Speaker 2: Did we mention b Arthur was in it?
Speaker 1: B Arthur is not only in it, Chuck. She sings
Speaker 1: a song.
Speaker 2: She does. She is the unpronounce to everyone she manages
Speaker 2: or maybe owns.
Speaker 1: The owner. Yeah, the what's the mas what Ma's deaf cantina?
Speaker 2: Uh No, most deaf is a rapper? Oh yeah, think
Speaker 2: you mean Moss Eisley.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that cantina. She's the owner. B Arthur is
Speaker 1: the owner b Arthur of the Golden Girls, but in
Speaker 1: this case be Arthur of Maud because, as one of
Speaker 1: the people who wrote one of the articles we based
Speaker 1: this on points out, she's just basically playing Maud as
Speaker 1: the owner of the cantina.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and her song comes because they basically say there's
Speaker 2: a lockdown, so you gotta call last call at your bar.
Speaker 2: So she calls last call by singing a song to everyone.
Speaker 1: Right, and again, we can't possibly have this script lead
Speaker 1: anywhere else but Chewbacca's house while his family waits for it.
Speaker 1: So all this takes place as part of a public
Speaker 1: service announcement basically broadcast by the Empire about how immoral
Speaker 1: life on Tattooen is. So let's go see what's going
Speaker 1: on in the mas Eisley cantina as it's being shut
Speaker 1: down for curfew.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, this is incomprehensible, but it goes on.
Speaker 2: So they're in it. There's also Art Carney. Yes, he's
Speaker 2: a honeymooner, probably the star of the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Really, he has the most lines, I would say, the
Speaker 1: most comprehensible line, right. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he plays a trader, a human trader that is
Speaker 2: recently been with Han Solo and Chewy and actually gets
Speaker 2: to Kazuok and says they're on the way. It's all good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a trade dour, not trade tour.
Speaker 2: Yeah, traders and trades humans for you know, money.
Speaker 1: No, he he sells goods.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a trader. He doesn't trade humans. Yeah, he's in
Speaker 2: the human trade.
Speaker 1: He No, he isn't really, Yeah, he trades humans like
Speaker 1: he sells humans.
Speaker 2: I looked it up in the Star Wars Encyclopedia said
Speaker 2: that he was in the human trade.
Speaker 1: Huh. So in this Christmas special, Yeah, apparently they sanitized
Speaker 1: his background because he's basically just selling like gadgets and
Speaker 1: novelties and stuff like that to the Wookies and the
Speaker 1: Empire who were occupying the area.
Speaker 2: Yes, he comes bearing gifts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's a friend of Chewback's family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he comes Barren gifts. One of the gifts
Speaker 2: he gives is a sort of like a little digital
Speaker 2: insert to a Oh, I guess you would call it
Speaker 2: a virtual reality hair dryer hair dryer, like a beauty
Speaker 2: shop hair dryer. He gives it to Grandpa Itchy. Grandpa
Speaker 2: Itchy sits under this hair dryer, pops in this digital cassette,
Speaker 2: and it can only be described as softcore porn.
Speaker 1: Apparently, the writers who were interviewed for this said that
Speaker 1: was totally the intent they were trying to get what
Speaker 1: amounted to soft core porn that would pass the sensors.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: So it's all you can't even say it's innuendo. It's
Speaker 1: too obvious an overt for innuendo. Instead, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just it's just gross. It's really gross. Diane Carroll, great singer,
Speaker 1: Yes she is a Vegas staple, shows up and starts
Speaker 1: based tantalizing Grandpa Itchy, who again, this is Chewbacca's elderly
Speaker 1: father who now engages in some sort of well he's
Speaker 1: he's watching virtual reality pornography now, and this is a
Speaker 1: pretty lengthy segment in and of itself.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, and she literally says to him, now, I
Speaker 2: can see you're really excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty rough to watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so then you've got another musical number.
Speaker 1: Because also again he shudders, Yeah, it's really strange.
Speaker 2: All right. So there's also a I know, it seems
Speaker 2: like we're jumping around, but it's it's so mind blowing.
Speaker 1: Not like this is pretty much like blow for blow.
Speaker 2: Actually I forgot earlier on in the In the special,
Speaker 2: there's one of my favorite sequences is when Grandpa Itchy
Speaker 2: goes over to Lumpy and basically sets up Remember the
Speaker 2: the hologram chessboard that they played in a New Hope. Yeah,
Speaker 2: basically kind of sets that up and says, here, just
Speaker 2: play this. He pushes button which is clearly a nineteen
Speaker 2: seventies cassette recorder, and another like it's like a circ
Speaker 2: desole acid trip gymnast routine happens in front of the
Speaker 2: kid's eyes. And again this all just it's not like
Speaker 2: it shows a snippet. They show the entire segments, like five, six,
Speaker 2: ten minutes long. Sure of all of these things.
Speaker 1: So you would think, Okay, they've gone to this hologram
Speaker 1: well a couple of times, why not go to it again?
Speaker 1: Well they do. They do to kill more time while
Speaker 1: the Imperial Guard is ransacking their house. Art Carney apparently,
Speaker 1: I guess it's trying to get one of the Imperial Guard,
Speaker 1: the leader, I think, or one of the leaders.
Speaker 2: Who looks like somebody from Spaceballs, by the way.
Speaker 1: Very much so. And the writer of the Vanity Fair article,
Speaker 1: by the way said this is so incomprehensible. The specialist
Speaker 1: George Lucas didn't even have the schwartz with him at
Speaker 1: the time. So anyway, our Carney's distracting this Imperial leader
Speaker 1: while they're ransacking the Wookies house Chewbaca's house with a hologram.
Speaker 1: In this hologram, instead of being an acrobat or Diane
Speaker 1: Carroll or any kind of porn or anything like that,
Speaker 1: is Jefferson Starship and they decide that they're going to
Speaker 1: play Light the Sky on Fire, which apparently is about UFOs.
Speaker 2: It's a little music video.
Speaker 1: Basically, it's a Yeah, it's the predecessor to like video
Speaker 1: Kill the Radio Star, you can tell. And again it
Speaker 1: is the whole lengthy song. Yeah, the whole thing. So
Speaker 1: every time that somebody's like, we need to escape mentally
Speaker 1: from what's going on here in our house, let's go
Speaker 1: into the video world, it's not just and they don't
Speaker 1: cut back and forth. It's okay, here's five minutes of
Speaker 1: Jefferson Starship performing this song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even the Jefferson Starship guys were like, it's
Speaker 2: sort of a weird trip, Like we didn't get it,
Speaker 2: but we did it right.
Speaker 1: They gave us some money, yeah, and some cocaine. Well probably,
Speaker 1: so we said, yeah, chuck. I think though there yet
Speaker 1: another segment like this is actually widely regarded as the
Speaker 1: high point of the whole thing. Oh sure, great, there
Speaker 1: is a cartoon actually, yeah, that Lump Lumpy watches. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Lumpy's like the Imperial Guard is still ransacking my house.
Speaker 1: I think I'll entertain myself by watching a cartoon on
Speaker 1: my little.
Speaker 2: I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I guess it was an iPad and he watches this
Speaker 1: cartoon and it's it's actually remarkable for a number of reasons.
Speaker 1: It's the best part of the whole special.
Speaker 2: Yeah, generally agreed upon as such, right, not just us.
Speaker 1: And it introduces Boba fet. It's the first time Boba
Speaker 1: Fet ever makes an appearance in the Star Wars universe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually not a bad And you can't find
Speaker 2: it in the the one version I told you to watch.
Speaker 2: They removed it for copyright, but they didn't watch a separate.
Speaker 1: Right, you can find it on its own.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's it's very much reminiscent of like the
Speaker 2: cartoon style of the day, like a he Man or
Speaker 2: something for.
Speaker 1: Sure, even even but it's even a little more artsy
Speaker 1: than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But it does have a plot that you can
Speaker 2: follow that makes sense as a Star Wars thing, and
Speaker 2: it introduces Boba fet, like you said, And it's actually
Speaker 2: not bad.
Speaker 1: It's like Luke and R two and C three po yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're like they crash on a planet or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Han and where you're in it. And it's
Speaker 2: the first time we see in Darth Vader. It's first
Speaker 2: time we see Boba Fett and that he is, that
Speaker 2: he is just doing whatever he can do for money,
Speaker 2: Like Luke trusts him at first, CE three bos like
Speaker 2: you're sure you should trust him this quick? Yeah, and
Speaker 2: he's like, oh, three po, you in your non trusting ways.
Speaker 2: And then it turns out he's selling them out to
Speaker 2: the dark side.
Speaker 1: So it's it's basically Boba Fett is an allegory for
Speaker 1: George Lucas himself. So the cartoon comes and goes. And
Speaker 1: that was the thing that came at about the end
Speaker 1: of the first hour mark and after that everybody just
Speaker 1: turned off their television sets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Did you watch this when it came up? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I remember watching it, but I don't remember much about it,
Speaker 2: Like if I made it through it all, I mean
Speaker 2: it was I was seven and it was on till ten,
Speaker 2: so I probably didn't make it through it all. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Plus you're probably disturbed who knows. I just remember that.
Speaker 2: I'll have to ask my brother. He might have a
Speaker 2: memory of this.
Speaker 1: Oh, Betty does. I'm sure he met everybody afterward or
Speaker 1: something like that. You know, it has a picture.
Speaker 2: Well he was ten at that point, so cynicism had,
Speaker 2: you know, become a thing in his life probably.
Speaker 1: All right by then?
Speaker 2: Sure didn't that when centicism kicks in today?
Speaker 1: Jenkinsie Scott holding out to fourteen fifteen. Yeah, maybe so,
Speaker 1: so Chuck, the whole thing finally does end. And actually
Speaker 1: there's a guy his name is Nathan Raven, he writes
Speaker 1: over at the av Club. He had a great quote.
Speaker 1: He basically said that one of the great redeeming values
Speaker 1: of this this special is that it does eventually end.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what the first part of the quote is,
Speaker 2: I'm not convinced the special wasn't ultimately written and directed
Speaker 2: by a sentient bag of cocaine.
Speaker 1: And like, go read his review of the Star Wars
Speaker 1: Holiday Special, because he goes on to describe exactly what
Speaker 1: that must have been like. Yeah, development meeting where the
Speaker 1: bag of cocaine is pacing back and forth talking about
Speaker 1: what should happen.
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't and it ends even more. It takes
Speaker 1: this bizarre two hours and wraps it up in just
Speaker 1: a nice bizarre bow.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So what happens is eventually Han Solo should we
Speaker 2: say spoiler alert, Eventually Han Solo and Chewy make it
Speaker 2: to the planet. They park on the far side of
Speaker 2: the planet because they know the Imperial forces are there.
Speaker 1: And the exercise will do Chewy good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so they have to hike over there. They eventually
Speaker 2: make it back home. They find a storm the Stormtroopers
Speaker 2: at their house right their tree hut. Yeah, which way.
Speaker 2: The paintings that set this up, I don't think we mentioned.
Speaker 2: I don't even call them matte paintings. It looks like
Speaker 2: someone painted something on the wall and they just like
Speaker 2: put a camera in front of it.
Speaker 1: Pretty much. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So they get back and Chewbacca Han Solo hides around
Speaker 2: the corner. Chewbacca steps in front of his son to
Speaker 2: protect him. Sure, Han Solo jumps out, and the stormtrooper
Speaker 2: trips over a pile of logs and falls over the.
Speaker 1: Balcony and dies in a holiday special.
Speaker 2: So they wouldn't even not only could he not shoot
Speaker 2: first with Gredo, but they couldn't even have him like
Speaker 2: wrestle the stormtrooper and throw him off. He trips over
Speaker 2: a log.
Speaker 1: Right, and Han Solo has his hands thrown up like
Speaker 1: wasn't me?
Speaker 2: It might have been a banana peel, you know.
Speaker 1: But again, this is basically produced by vaudevillians starring vaudevillians.
Speaker 1: Why not have the one death take place from basically
Speaker 1: what amounts to somebody slipping on a banana peel exactly.
Speaker 1: It's a perfect way to end it. So that's that
Speaker 1: guy basically represents the end of the Imperial threat for
Speaker 1: the rest of Life Day. And we then see Life
Speaker 1: Day being celebrated, which is celebrated by lots of wookies
Speaker 1: assembling in what looks like a giant Olin Mills portrait,
Speaker 1: and all of them are wearing red robes. And I
Speaker 1: know I'm up talking, and it's because my mind is
Speaker 1: still having trouble like wrapping around us. And then Princess
Speaker 1: Leah comes out with C three po is Mark Hamill.
Speaker 2: There, the whole gang zeraphone, Okay.
Speaker 1: The whole gangs there, and then they all gather around
Speaker 1: to hear a great quote from Princess Leah, which we
Speaker 1: will read verbatim.
Speaker 2: This holiday is yours, but we all share with you
Speaker 2: the hope that this day brings us closer to freedom
Speaker 2: and to harmony and to peace. No matter how different
Speaker 2: we appear, we're all the same in our struggle against
Speaker 2: the powers of evil and darkness. I hope that this
Speaker 2: day will always be a day of joy in which
Speaker 2: we can reconfirm our dedication and our courage, and, more
Speaker 2: than anything else, our love for one another. This is
Speaker 2: the promise of the Tree of Life Q song.
Speaker 1: Right, And we should also point out the Tree of
Speaker 1: Life has never been mentioned.
Speaker 2: Up to this point.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what this takes a sudden appearance
Speaker 1: at the end, and when you said Q song, by
Speaker 1: Q song, you mean Princess Leah starts singing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And apparently that was one of the big contingencies
Speaker 2: on Carrie Fisher being involved. Yeah, she's going through a
Speaker 2: phase where she's like, I kind of like singing.
Speaker 1: Bruce Valanche calls it her Joni Mitchell period.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she somehow convinced them to let her sing
Speaker 2: as Princess Leah. And she does.
Speaker 1: And again I've said that she looks like she's on drugs.
Speaker 1: This is the point where she really does look like
Speaker 1: she's on drugs. And it's not just me other writers
Speaker 1: who've written reviews of this, it's really obvious that she
Speaker 1: possibly smoked a decent amount of pot before she shot
Speaker 1: this shot this scene. But she sings, Oh, okay, it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's just the the fact that Princess Leia is singing.
Speaker 1: And actually, Bruce Falanch had a really great quote too.
Speaker 1: He says that she very much wanted to show this
Speaker 1: side of her talent, and there was general dismay because
Speaker 1: this was not what we wanted Princess Lea to be doing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she did it anyway. So the whole thing ends with
Speaker 1: her singing this song about life day oh yeah, which
Speaker 1: is set loosely to the John Williams Star Wars theme.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So along the way, the director, original director quit,
Speaker 2: A new director, Steve Binder was hired to finish the
Speaker 2: job and bring it in, and he did over the
Speaker 2: original one million dollar budget. Of course, always he did
Speaker 2: bring it in and at this point George Lucas said
Speaker 2: he was he was working on Empire Strikes Back. He
Speaker 2: didn't know what was going on. He wasn't around for
Speaker 2: the shoot.
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't until it aired I think that he
Speaker 1: actually saw it.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it was a travesty obviously, if you haven't
Speaker 2: noticed that by now, critics hated it. Star Wars fans
Speaker 2: really hated it.
Speaker 1: Everybody, the people who were in it hated it.
Speaker 2: Lucas hated it.
Speaker 1: Even Harvey Korman secretly hated it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even Harvey Keitel hated it. Actually he loved it.
Speaker 2: But Lucas has been asked over the years about it
Speaker 2: a lot, and he doesn't talk about it much. But
Speaker 2: in two thousand and five, and I don't buy this
Speaker 2: for a second, he says it was an interview He
Speaker 2: said especial from nineteen seventy eight. I really didn't have
Speaker 2: much to do with us. You know that part is true.
Speaker 2: I can't remember what network it was even on, but
Speaker 2: it was a thing that they did. That's a lie.
Speaker 2: There's no way he doesn't know that was CBS. We
Speaker 2: kind of just let them do it. I believe that
Speaker 2: it was done by I can't even remember who the
Speaker 2: group was, but there were variety TV guys. I'm sure
Speaker 2: he remembers a few of them. We let them use
Speaker 2: the characters and stuff, and that probably wasn't the smartest
Speaker 2: thing to do, but you learn from those experiences. I
Speaker 2: think they even use some of the footage from the movie.
Speaker 2: At the end, it looks like some of the space like.
Speaker 1: A highlight reel, yeah the Gang.
Speaker 2: Well, and during the it looked like some of the
Speaker 2: they had some insert shots of like Imperial cruisers and
Speaker 2: tie fighters and stuff that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like from remember when Chewbacca like leans back and
Speaker 1: puts his hands behind it. Yeah, yeah, that's in there.
Speaker 1: It's like a just a highlight reel from the movie.
Speaker 1: Saying like I feel like this, go see the movie.
Speaker 2: Well, and also that means it doesn't match the look
Speaker 2: of the rest of it at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: It's just sort of inserted.
Speaker 1: They tried, They definitely tried. And George Lucas is totally
Speaker 1: full of it, because in nineteen eighty seven he told
Speaker 1: star Log magazine that the Christmas Special would be out
Speaker 1: on video cassette very soon. Yes, And in two thousand
Speaker 1: and seven, two years after that quote, you just read
Speaker 1: where he's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Basically,
Speaker 1: he apparently considered releasing the Christmas Special as a bonus
Speaker 1: on the DVDs of the first three.
Speaker 2: Right, but did not did, and apparently Carrie Fisher told
Speaker 2: Lucas that if you want me to do DVD extras commentary, yeah, commentary,
Speaker 2: then I want a clean original copy of the Holiday Special. Yes,
Speaker 2: so why go ahead so I can play at parties
Speaker 2: when I want people to leave. It's pretty great.
Speaker 1: It is so and there is one of those clean
Speaker 1: copies is floating around out there, so you can watch
Speaker 1: this in it in its entirety. Some of it, like
Speaker 1: the cartoon, was removed due to copyright infringement and that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, but as as the case with the
Speaker 1: rest of the Internet, you can just go find it
Speaker 1: elsewhere and piece it together. There's also the original ads
Speaker 1: that aired in Baltimore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that are just fascinating. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Those are always fun gm ads where one of the
Speaker 1: guys who's in quality control is he says, did you
Speaker 1: watch it?
Speaker 2: I don't think I saw that one.
Speaker 1: He goes, we really care about these cars and that's
Speaker 1: no jibe man on a gm ad and he's like,
Speaker 1: it's serious.
Speaker 2: Oh they're trying to be hip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty good stuff.
Speaker 2: Here's my final thought on it. I love it. It
Speaker 2: does not taint my Star Wars experience or my love
Speaker 2: for the franchise, and I'm glad it is out there
Speaker 2: because it's a fun little stain that shouldn't be taken
Speaker 2: too seriously. I think it adds to it actually, because
Speaker 2: it's campy and awful, and I don't know somehow that
Speaker 2: enriches the rest of it. I'm with you, you like it? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I watched it twice. I wouldn't watched
Speaker 1: it a second I wouldn't have made it through the
Speaker 1: first time. Let me take that back, as I'm a pro. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I would have made it through the first time.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have watched it a second time if I wasn't.
Speaker 1: There wasn't something about it, and I figured out. I
Speaker 1: think the thing that I like the most about it
Speaker 1: is Lumpy Chewbaca's son Yeah, played by an actress named
Speaker 1: Patty Maloney, who frankly is hands down the best actor
Speaker 1: in the entire thing. She like her response is and everything.
Speaker 1: It's just awesome.
Speaker 2: I think my favorite parts are, well, there's a great
Speaker 2: Wilhelm scream.
Speaker 1: Yes, I noticed that troop.
Speaker 2: For trips over the laws.
Speaker 1: Jerry would not have noticed it.
Speaker 2: And then there's a part where all the wokie dialogue
Speaker 2: you can't understand. But there's clearly one part where where
Speaker 2: Itchy and Lumpy are having exchange where Lumpy you can
Speaker 2: make it out, goes I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's covered up. But someone was like, we have
Speaker 2: to have at least one exchange where you sort of
Speaker 2: know what they're saying.
Speaker 1: Sure, or they were like, I think she has said
Speaker 1: I love you. Should we have them redo it? And
Speaker 1: the director's like, no, I want to go and Chuck.
Speaker 1: There's one other thing that I figured out from watching this.
Speaker 1: What's that it's not readily apparent the whole thing is
Speaker 1: made all the more odd, and that there's situation after
Speaker 1: situation after situation where we, as normal audiences, were trained
Speaker 1: to expect the laugh track. There's not a laugh track,
Speaker 1: and there's been a laugh track. It might have been
Speaker 1: less bizarre, but the fact that it's missing just makes
Speaker 1: your agitates the mind. So it's this whole additional element
Speaker 1: that it is weird.
Speaker 2: I never thought about that. There's just weird moments of
Speaker 2: silence all throughout it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like when Ark Carney's doing his thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm telling jokes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I agree with you, Chuck, don't take things
Speaker 1: too seriously. I think that's the great lesson in this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the lesson of life day it is.
Speaker 2: And in two thousand and seven, Riff tracks the Great
Speaker 2: Mystery Science Theater. Three thousand guys Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett,
Speaker 2: and Kevin Murphy provided audio commentary for the full version
Speaker 2: of the special. So try and go grab that if
Speaker 2: you can as well.
Speaker 1: Oh you can, it's on their site because it's great.
Speaker 1: I think it's like eight bucks and.
Speaker 2: Those guys are awesome.
Speaker 1: And yeah, at least I think Corbett listens to us. So, hey, Corbett, you.
Speaker 2: Got anything else?
Speaker 1: No, No, I think we did this. There's some good stuff.
Speaker 1: Go read the Vanity Fair article han Solo Comedy Hour.
Speaker 1: There's a book called How Star Wars Conquered the Universe
Speaker 1: that has a very interesting chapter about this. That's where
Speaker 1: we found it asserted that George Lucas never said that
Speaker 1: he would smash this thing with a sledgehammer, right, And
Speaker 1: there's also an entire website dedicated to it, Star Wars
Speaker 1: Holiday Special dot com. Yeah, and if you want to
Speaker 1: know more about the Star Wars Holiday Special, we have
Speaker 1: a ton of hard Star Wars stuff on how stuff
Speaker 1: works by the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have cool sort of fun articles about the
Speaker 2: Death Star and Lightsabers.
Speaker 1: Videos with the Holly Fry from Stuff You missed a
Speaker 1: history class.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who she knows her stuff.
Speaker 1: She does. So you can just type Star Wars in
Speaker 1: the search bar at how stuff works dot com and
Speaker 1: it will bring up some cool stuff for you. Since
Speaker 1: I said search bar, it's time for listener mail.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, just finished listening to the Voyage Manuscript podcast.
Speaker 2: Found it's super interesting, especially the theories on its definition
Speaker 2: or origin. I no Josh mentioned Chuck Siri, but being
Speaker 2: drug induced is somewhat surprising or even unlikely given them
Speaker 2: language and the manuscript follows linguistic laws only founded in
Speaker 2: the past one hundred years. But if you think about it,
Speaker 2: it's a tough. It's tough to stray away from familiar structures,
Speaker 2: especially for something like language. I think back to when
Speaker 2: I was younger and friends invented their own languages, or
Speaker 2: even in writing a song or poetry. Creativity can sometimes
Speaker 2: be limited by what we know, So just thought I
Speaker 2: contribute that to the conversation.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Thanks big, thanks for all you guys do. I found
Speaker 2: the podcast after moving to San Diego in the last
Speaker 2: few years for some noise around my apartment. So basically
Speaker 2: we were blocking out noise.
Speaker 1: We do that and.
Speaker 2: Joe Love and then as a way to get through
Speaker 2: traffic on my commute home from work. You guys are
Speaker 2: far more interesting and enjoyable than television and YouTube videos.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I've listened to hundreds and we'll continue to
Speaker 2: listen to hundreds more. Keep on keeping on. That is
Speaker 2: from Amy J. Moffett.
Speaker 1: Thanks a lot, Amy in San Diego. Does that mean
Speaker 1: like place of the whales in German or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you want to get in touch of this, you
Speaker 1: can tweet to us at s YSK podcast. You can
Speaker 1: join us on Facebook dot com slash Stuff you Should Know.
Speaker 1: You can send us an email the Stuff podcast at
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Speaker 1: on the Stuff Youshould Know dot Com.
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