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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm looking to step

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Speaker 1: unto our Toildy production of but I High Radio. Annie,

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Speaker 1: you and I've been talking about doing this episode. I

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Speaker 1: think we've teased it a little bit in our previous

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Speaker 1: episodes about Weaponize Incompetence, and I know I think we've

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Speaker 1: talked about something similar to this. We had episodes that

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Speaker 1: were kind of similar at least talking around it previously before. Right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: so we have done past episodes on emotional labor, which

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Speaker 1: is related. Um surprisingly, Women in Survival Horror has this

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Speaker 1: section that is related that I'm going to talk about

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Speaker 1: a bit later, because of course I'm talking about a

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Speaker 1: lot of fictional stuff that we see. Also, our episode

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Speaker 1: on the widowhood effect and widowers has some stuff that's

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Speaker 1: related to what we're talking about, and also episodes on

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Speaker 1: divorce have some of this stuff that we're going to

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Speaker 1: be discussing in this episode. I think we've talked about

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Speaker 1: that as well as with like older being the responsible

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Speaker 1: sibling or are like even like I believe your episode

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Speaker 1: Daddy Issues had all of those as well. Like it's

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Speaker 1: a constant theme and one of the reasons I was like,

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Speaker 1: we need to do this, let's talk about this, and

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Speaker 1: you and I started like going back and forth, like

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Speaker 1: we can talk about this, and we can talk about this.

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Speaker 1: Was because there was this whole section in TikTok. Yes, y'all,

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Speaker 1: apparently I'm just TikTok talk all the time, so I

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Speaker 1: apologize to talk talk mean essentially, I should just have

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Speaker 1: that corner right because it would never end. But part

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Speaker 1: of that was talking about weaponizing competence to the fact

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Speaker 1: that this one dude, uh, he did a whole little

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Speaker 1: gimmicky song about it, about what it is, and he

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Speaker 1: got attacked by men because he just called it out.

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Speaker 1: There was another TikTok or who actually showed a grocery

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Speaker 1: list that she stands with her husband, but instead of

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Speaker 1: just being like get eggs, get butter, good milk, it

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Speaker 1: was get these types of eggs and put the picture

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Speaker 1: next to it to show them exactly what brands to buy.

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Speaker 1: And it just kind of started this huge conversation about

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Speaker 1: what it was, and weaponized incompetence has actually been kind

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Speaker 1: of a newer ish term. It is also known as

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Speaker 1: strategic incompetence. And just in case that you don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's the act of fading incompetence that any one task

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Speaker 1: usually and an unpleasant one to get out of doing it.

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Speaker 1: And that's from a Huffington's post, and it is that's

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Speaker 1: exactly what that is, kind of like pretending like you

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Speaker 1: don't know, I did this as a kid, But also

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Speaker 1: it wasn't on purpose. It literally was when I was

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Speaker 1: trying to put dishes up and put it in the

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Speaker 1: dishwash dirty sink. It got to the point that my

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Speaker 1: mother would come behind me and rearrange everything and they're like,

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Speaker 1: what was the point of me doing this? And I

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Speaker 1: would get mad because it felt like it was a

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Speaker 1: flight onto me, but at the same time, like you

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Speaker 1: don't like the way I don't want you, just do

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Speaker 1: it the way you want to. So that's kind of

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Speaker 1: the flip side of course. Yeah, that came into when

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Speaker 1: that would be asked the next time around and be like, no,

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Speaker 1: you do it, you do it in a way. I

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Speaker 1: didn't say it that way. My mother would smacked me,

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Speaker 1: but it was kind of that implication and I was like, ah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a whole thing. It is a whole thing. And

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Speaker 1: now that you mentioned that, because we're going to discuss

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Speaker 1: sort of the generalizations and stereotypes about what this looks like,

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Speaker 1: and in general, it is usually a man trying to

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Speaker 1: get out of something by saying, oh, I you do

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Speaker 1: it better. I can't do it. You do it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: something that's they don't want to do. But now that

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Speaker 1: you mentioned that, there's an interesting flip two of that

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Speaker 1: in the dating world, where usually women pretend they can't

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Speaker 1: do something so that the men will do it and

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Speaker 1: you can get closer in that way. So that's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I hadn't thought about that. But but that's still like

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Speaker 1: building up the ego of the dude in this situation, right, well,

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Speaker 1: I mean think about it too. When we have in

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Speaker 1: the same Uffington Post article, it talks about the webinized

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Speaker 1: in competence when it comes to female orgasm, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, saying like that literal excuse that

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Speaker 1: we've heard many men and minimists say that women are

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Speaker 1: incapable of having an orgasm, so we're not even going

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Speaker 1: to try. And you're like, oh my, oh that makes

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Speaker 1: me sad for you and for everyone that you've ever

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Speaker 1: been with. Please don't women you know, stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: It's like that's a whole either another level of webinized

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Speaker 1: slash strategic incompetence and it's been used in the workplace

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Speaker 1: and that's kind of like that bigger arching, like this

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Speaker 1: is how damaging this is. This is how women continue

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Speaker 1: to not be able to move forward because people take

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Speaker 1: credit of other people's work and through using strategic incompetence.

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Speaker 1: As in fact, Oh, y'all, while we were researching this

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Speaker 1: and old Wall Street Journal article popped up and I say, oh,

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Speaker 1: because it was in two thousand seven that this was written.

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Speaker 1: So this has been over fifteen years and I had

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Speaker 1: to be like, I had to read it. And when

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Speaker 1: I read through it, I was like, there's one thing

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Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about it. So this article

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Speaker 1: was written, like I said, in two thousand and seven

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Speaker 1: in the Wall Street Journal, written by Jared at Sandberg,

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Speaker 1: and the title of the article is the art of

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Speaker 1: showing pure incompetence at an unwanted task. Uh So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: bear with me while I read this to you and

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Speaker 1: let's discuss. So he starts to learn something at the

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Speaker 1: office can be difficult, but to refrain from learning something

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Speaker 1: requires years of practice and refinement. It's an office skill

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Speaker 1: that Stephen Crawley finds indispensable. Quote The inability to grasp

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Speaker 1: selective things can be very helpful in keeping your desk

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Speaker 1: clear of unwanted clutter, says the executive in HR or

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Speaker 1: what he calls quote the dumping ground of all unwanted

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Speaker 1: office tasks. He says, I have developed a very agile

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Speaker 1: selective memory across a wide range of non value added activities.

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Speaker 1: The most memorable time he brandished his non skill was

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Speaker 1: when the president at an automotive parts manufacturer asked Mr

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Speaker 1: Cawley to organize the company picnic with a sensibility more

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Speaker 1: dry than bubbly. He wasn't crazy about party planning, so

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Speaker 1: he began to milk his lack of picnic knowledge for

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Speaker 1: all it wasn't worth. He responded to any inquiries or

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Speaker 1: suggestions with questions and comments such as, how do you

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Speaker 1: do that? Or what did you guys do in the past,

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Speaker 1: or even help me remember while we're talking about this. Ultimately,

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Speaker 1: responsibility for the picnic was reassigned mission unaccomplished, says Mr Crawley.

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Speaker 1: You'd be amazed about how much I don't know about picnics.

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Speaker 1: Strategic incompetence isn't about having a strategy that fails, but

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Speaker 1: a failure that succeeds. It almost always works to deflect

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Speaker 1: work one doesn't want to do without ever having to

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Speaker 1: admit it. For junior staffers, it's just a way of

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Speaker 1: attaining power through powerlessness. For managers, it can use their

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Speaker 1: status by pretending to be incapable of lowly tasks. In

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Speaker 1: all cases, it's a ritualistic sharade. The only thing the

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Speaker 1: person claiming not to understand really doesn't understand that the victim,

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Speaker 1: ultimately stuck with the work, sees through the false incompetence.

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Speaker 1: This tactic starts in early youth with chores how do

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Speaker 1: you open the dishwasher? It's puppy eyed helplessness gets refined

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Speaker 1: through homework with math, word problems and book reports on Beowulf.

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Speaker 1: In college, it gets reinforced by enablers who take better

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Speaker 1: notes in class, and in a marriage it works but

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Speaker 1: not as well by raising the spectrum of disaster from

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Speaker 1: the task mishandled. If I do the wash, I might

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Speaker 1: shrink your sweater, And how do you change diapers so

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Speaker 1: they don't leak? At work, it can be institutionalized at

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Speaker 1: customer call centers, for example, whose operators will transfer you

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Speaker 1: to another department before the last department transfer you back

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Speaker 1: to them, and for shady corporations, incompetence is the best

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Speaker 1: legal defense strategy for any employee. The soul still in

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Speaker 1: complexity of office machinery such as fax machines, copiers, pecs, voicemail,

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Speaker 1: and even coffeemakers, gives everyone ample cover to studiously never

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Speaker 1: learn how to use them. But the same blank stare

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Speaker 1: accompanies non mechanical tasks. To Clara Westler, an accountant who

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Speaker 1: used to work at a law firm, says, lawyers pretend

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Speaker 1: to be completely flum mixed by all of these machines,

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Speaker 1: as well as everything related to accounting except for billing.

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Speaker 1: Their message. I have so many lofty matters on my mind.

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Speaker 1: I can't be bothered with mastering these small tasks, she says.

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Speaker 1: Rescuing the pseudo incompetent from an office task can mean

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Speaker 1: doing it for life. Failing to rescue risks this thing

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Speaker 1: of being a non team player. There's nothing worse than

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Speaker 1: doing too good a job on something that you don't

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Speaker 1: want to keep doing, says Carol Kimbler Meager. She once

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Speaker 1: worked with another manager of different departments who played up

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Speaker 1: the fact that he quote couldn't find his billy button

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Speaker 1: with both hands, a map and a flashlight. Each month

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Speaker 1: he started complaining that he couldn't close his books. Uh,

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Speaker 1: their boss would beg her to help him, she said.

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Speaker 1: The following month, we could go through the whole thing again.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes being a team player means getting your own stuff

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Speaker 1: done so that other people can get their own work done.

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Speaker 1: Laziness and status issues aside. Tom Colbert, president of a

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Speaker 1: logistics provider, observes that found incompetence sometimes comes from a

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Speaker 1: genuine fear not of looking stupid, but of proving it.

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Speaker 1: There's no reason to demonstrate it, he says, for someone

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Speaker 1: for whom no task is too small, suggest Mr Colbert himself.

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Speaker 1: The fax machine and its laborate menu of options are

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Speaker 1: more troubled than their worth. It's a jungle. I'll coerce

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Speaker 1: someone else into performing the task of by feigning ignorance

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Speaker 1: or frustration. That person is Mary Powell. She reports that

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Speaker 1: Mr Colbert engages in a lot of shrugging, sighing, and

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Speaker 1: throwing up of the hands. He usually can figure out

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Speaker 1: most things without too much trouble. She says, this one

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Speaker 1: particular thing he doesn't want to take the time to do.

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Speaker 1: Strategic incompetence involves a lot of unnecessary posturing, knows Robert Sutton,

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Speaker 1: a professor of management science at Stanford University, but it's

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Speaker 1: not all bad. One way which lower status people feel

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Speaker 1: more esteem in the presence of higher status people is

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Speaker 1: to show that they have a skill that's valued and needed.

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Speaker 1: He says. It can signify a mutual respect found in

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Speaker 1: other hierarchies. He adds, I think of ape grooming. That's

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Speaker 1: how the article is. One of the big things behind

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Speaker 1: this is that is the men who say how to

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Speaker 1: do this, how to use this, and it's the women

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Speaker 1: coming behind going yeah, I have to fix this. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: One being I think it's really interesting, especially when you

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Speaker 1: talk about like men failing up a lot of times

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Speaker 1: it's men failing upwards and sort of this idea that

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Speaker 1: the non value added tasks as I think he referred

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Speaker 1: to it, and a lot of those tasks being things

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Speaker 1: that are traditionally viewed as women's work, whether it is

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Speaker 1: like copies are cleaning, and you're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: in our fiction portion, more like these things that people

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Speaker 1: don't get notice for, rewarded for, or if you do

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Speaker 1: as it said, if you do too good a job

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Speaker 1: at this thing because your team player and you want

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Speaker 1: to be seen as really efficient and good at your job,

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Speaker 1: then it becomes your job and you're not getting paid

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Speaker 1: anymore for it. It just sort of we're able to

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Speaker 1: successfully pass it off to you. And it's a weird

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Speaker 1: way of trying to compliment you, I guess, but really

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Speaker 1: they're just manipulating you into doing a thing. When I

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Speaker 1: first started working at this job, and at the time

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Speaker 1: it was like it was owned by a different company,

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Speaker 1: our colleague been Bowling, told me, in all seriousness, never

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Speaker 1: be too good at something or they're going to ask

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Speaker 1: you to do it forever. And I remember sitting there

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Speaker 1: thanking you, like, but I've been taught to do well,

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Speaker 1: and I want to do well well. This kind of

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Speaker 1: comes back into the alignment of women have to be

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Speaker 1: sure that they are experts and be the qualified beyond

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Speaker 1: uh what is actually being asked, and men literally qualified

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Speaker 1: like yeah, we'll do this, um. But that's the whole

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Speaker 1: rhetoric is like the men are gonna be like, don't

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Speaker 1: do too good of a job, because if you do,

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Speaker 1: they're always going to ask you. And then women are like,

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Speaker 1: but we have to prove myself or I'll never move

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Speaker 1: up in the world. And even if I do, I

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Speaker 1: still won't move up in the world. And the kind

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Speaker 1: of like this article, I absolutely read read it as sarcastic.

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Speaker 1: I believe that's what the writer was intending, because he

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Speaker 1: definitely made a point to discuss the unequal leveling in

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Speaker 1: the workplace. Um. Even the ending was so condescending, grooming

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Speaker 1: of monkeys grooming each other. Okay, okay, coo cool cool.

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Speaker 1: And then it literally was like, huh huh, you're calling

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Speaker 1: this out. You're leaving it without any opinion. I mean,

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Speaker 1: his his language is absolutely an opinion. But you know,

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Speaker 1: like you we're not saying anything outright and then moving on.

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Speaker 1: But if you really truly look at what's happening, it

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Speaker 1: does feel like and we're gonna talk about this in

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Speaker 1: our section and a minute about fiction, but this feels

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Speaker 1: like at the beginning of a fiction of sitcom. This

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Speaker 1: is the office as you as we were going to

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Speaker 1: talk about, like literally the setup of an office, um,

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Speaker 1: and Michael being the most incompetent boss and Pam having

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Speaker 1: to fix everything for him, like the phone calls. But

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Speaker 1: yet he kind of proves himself over and over and

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Speaker 1: over again, and she's trying to fix that. And then

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Speaker 1: also as of late Pam being the bad guy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, I mean maybe we should go ahead and

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Speaker 1: move into this fiction partum, we can weave weave this

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Speaker 1: article in. But one more thing I did like that

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Speaker 1: they made sure to discuss about the parenting and the family.

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Speaker 1: This whole bit about the fact I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to change a diaper, which I have actually heard I've

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Speaker 1: actually heard that being used and not just by men,

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Speaker 1: I will say teenagers, and that's rightly. So they also

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Speaker 1: were like, oh, this is goes. I don't want on

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Speaker 1: it right, You're like, it's not that hard, it's yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: My dad, um, my dad had many of fine probably,

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Speaker 1: but he he did a lot of stuff like if

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Speaker 1: he was left in charge of us. I remember one

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Speaker 1: time he tried to cook eggs, eggs, burnt them, burnt them,

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Speaker 1: and then he said to my mom like, listen, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to just get take out any time you're

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Speaker 1: not here because I can't do it. But I mean

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Speaker 1: he could grill, which is the masculine area, right, but

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Speaker 1: nothing else outside of that. And then like if I

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Speaker 1: was sick. If I was throwing up, he would freak

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Speaker 1: out and be like, it's a crisis, where's your mom?

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Speaker 1: And he would like run literally run away. And then

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Speaker 1: if my mom went out, he would forget to put

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Speaker 1: us to bed, so she'd come home at like ten

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Speaker 1: pm and we were still awake, and she'd be why

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Speaker 1: didn't you I was just watching this. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but he would often say those kinds of things like

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to do it, I can't do it,

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Speaker 1: I can't learn. I was just kind of like a

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Speaker 1: panic mode of like no, no no, no, no, no no, I

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Speaker 1: can't do that right, And so she would do it.

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Speaker 1: It was she had to do it, and she she

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Speaker 1: told me recently like she had to stop going out

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Speaker 1: as much because she take care of you, Like I

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Speaker 1: can only think of a handful of times that my

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Speaker 1: dad stayed with us as well, and not because he

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Speaker 1: didn't want to necessarily. I don't know if that was

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Speaker 1: the case, but my mother, I think absolutely felt guilty

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Speaker 1: for being a way, which is as different conversation in itself,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I absolutely have seen that as well. And

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Speaker 1: that's the same thing with work for me. I absolutely

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Speaker 1: was terrified of missing work even till this day. Of course,

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Speaker 1: what we do is a little different, and we have

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Speaker 1: each other and our whole our whole team as women,

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Speaker 1: thank god, and they would pick up that slack and

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Speaker 1: I love that. And I've never really dealt with in

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Speaker 1: my heart yet of that type of inability to help someone.

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Speaker 1: We have a pretty good crew of people in our

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Speaker 1: immediate group, but like, I've definitely dealt with that in government,

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Speaker 1: I've definitely seen that as the higher ups. Who was

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Speaker 1: doing what and who's asking what? When we look at

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Speaker 1: legal teams. I have friend who was paralegal who, oh,

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Speaker 1: get the brunt of the load of things that that's

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Speaker 1: not even her job, but being asked to do that,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what in a very mal driven feel where

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Speaker 1: she was like it was made up of a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, but you kind of like, hmmm, And there's

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of classism in this as well that

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Speaker 1: we can come back to. Yeah, let's go ahead jump

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Speaker 1: into that whole office conversation. Yeah, So one of the

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Speaker 1: first things I think of when we were talking about this,

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Speaker 1: which of course I have a lot of fiction examples

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Speaker 1: and Samantha's got some too, but is the office because

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Speaker 1: it's kind of a prime example of what we're talking about,

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Speaker 1: where you do have this like ultimate incompetent boss who

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Speaker 1: should not be in that position. So many times you

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Speaker 1: should get fired and pan as sort of at least

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Speaker 1: in the beginning of the sort of secretary position that

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Speaker 1: it's cleaning up after him constantly. But there's one episode

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Speaker 1: in particular where Pam gets frustrated because the microwave is

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Speaker 1: like constantly dirty and she's always having to clean the microwave,

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Speaker 1: so she like leaves a note and then everyone's talking

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Speaker 1: about her. She's being passive aggressive and like why can't

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Speaker 1: she just do it? And then she tries to explain

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Speaker 1: to Andy. She talks to Andy about it, I believe

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Speaker 1: it's Andy, and he's like, oh, no, I can't. I

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Speaker 1: would just make it worse. I would just mess it up.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, how would you make it worse? It's clean,

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Speaker 1: you just clean it. And he's like oh, and he's

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Speaker 1: like walking away quickly. I would just make it worse.

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Speaker 1: And that's kind of like what my dad would be like,

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Speaker 1: that's the exact idea of like, oh, you do it,

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Speaker 1: you're really good at it. I would just mess it up.

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Speaker 1: Basically saying I don't want to do this right, and

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Speaker 1: then her being seen as like nagging, sort of nagging

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Speaker 1: why can't she just do it? And that's one of

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Speaker 1: the things that she says is if I do it

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Speaker 1: now right, then I'm going to hold up the standard

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Speaker 1: and I'll be expected to do this from now on.

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Speaker 1: And that's that conversation again, like, oh, well you did

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Speaker 1: it before, Why why wouldn't you just go ahead and

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Speaker 1: do it. We're talking about that, this is you know this,

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Speaker 1: It just it makes no sense. It makes sen sense. Again,

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Speaker 1: as of late, I've seen a lot of rhetoric that

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Speaker 1: Pam was the bad guy. Also that Jim was a

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Speaker 1: bad guy. That's a whole different conversation, and it's something

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Speaker 1: that Pam was a bad guy and that she was

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Speaker 1: too nagging again, that she was condescending or rude and

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Speaker 1: all these things, and I'm like, was she so was?

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Speaker 1: It's just because you don't like women who were just

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Speaker 1: present and maybe calling you out a little bit. And

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Speaker 1: she did have like she had an arc for sure

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Speaker 1: where she kind of went from meeker to not his

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Speaker 1: meek right, but certainly like she was I wouldn't say

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Speaker 1: she was snagging even when she was trying to get

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Speaker 1: people to do basically take care of their own nonsense,

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Speaker 1: Right she was. I mean, that's another part we're not

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Speaker 1: really discussing. If she was managing Michael like she was,

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Speaker 1: it was a whole extra task she was, you, and

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Speaker 1: that she wasn't getting paid for or like noticed in

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Speaker 1: right where she was cleaning up after all of his

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Speaker 1: messes and expected to do that because if she didn't,

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Speaker 1: then the cold company would go under or are either

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Speaker 1: somehow someone Aliost would get in trouble, because that's the

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Speaker 1: world we live in. But yeah, I don't. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's been a minute since I've watched it, but I

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Speaker 1: don't recall thinking she was in any way like the villain, right.

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Speaker 1: I mean also in this conversation again, this is kind

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Speaker 1: of maybe a little more classes than anything else. Like

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Speaker 1: she and the new receptionist Aaron are both treated as

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Speaker 1: really dumb, don't get me wrong, and his character is

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a little more dizzy trying to figure

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Speaker 1: things out. I get that art, But both of them,

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Speaker 1: being the secretaries or p s, were treated that way immediately,

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Speaker 1: and so therefore they should be the ones that doing

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Speaker 1: the menial tasks and doing like ridiculous things and be

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Speaker 1: expected to like take some of the abuse. And of

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Speaker 1: course the sexual harassment the office has not aged. Well,

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Speaker 1: we'll go with that for sure, But I don't think

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Speaker 1: much has changed in that type of conversation and rhetoric

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Speaker 1: and in every day rhetoric in that we see a

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Speaker 1: lot of PA's being women. It's gotten different. We actually

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Speaker 1: and I was working on DJJ. I had a p

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Speaker 1: A and we had one dude that was it and

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Speaker 1: he was awful, awful, like he would just not show

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Speaker 1: up and we were like what the hell. And we

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00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: had a pretty easy like hey, we understand this work

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Speaker 1: is really just menial. Like you're taking nose, you're doing emails,

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Speaker 1: and you're doing like shredding papers because we had a

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Speaker 1: lot of sensitive information on paper, like this has to

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Speaker 1: be shredded, This has to be properly destroyed. Can you

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Speaker 1: do these things for us? And it's really menial tests

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Speaker 1: I get that. I get that. However, if it's that menial,

385
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be that hard. And for him it was

386
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Speaker 1: super hard. Showing up was super hard, And I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to know why it's mainly women who can

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Speaker 1: do this type of labor because they are organized and

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Speaker 1: consistent enough to do so, and I don't have to harp, right,

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Speaker 1: And also, like going back to what you said, which

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Speaker 1: I think is a good point that women feel, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get fired if I don't do above

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Speaker 1: and beyond or these expectations that we might have been

394
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 1: socialized to think is where we need to go, Like

395
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: the norm is actually higher than what is expected. But

396
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Speaker 1: like that pressure, because I definitely, looking back at my career,

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Speaker 1: I've had a few instances of what I would call

398
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: benign examples of this where people were like, you're so

399
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: good at doing this, can you help me? And I

400
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: really don't think it was a manipulation tactic. I think

401
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: they could have done it and they were like, she's

402
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,959
Speaker 1: good at it, maybe I can get her to do it.

403
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I I did, Like I was

404
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: thinking about this other day, and I remember just so

405
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 1: clearly feeling, like we've talked about this recently, like I

406
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: could be fired if I don't do perfect like that

407
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: I got to do so well, And so I think

408
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: that that is a really important part of this conversation.

409
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: And also that yeah, to the point of in the office,

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00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 1: I also feel like the receptionist characters often totally dismissed

411
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,959
Speaker 1: or kind of seen as invisible and just somebody who

412
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Speaker 1: has to do the thing that you don't want to do.

413
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Speaker 1: Just not treated very respectful, right, not being asked, not

414
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Speaker 1: being thanked, like all of those things. And I didn't

415
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: want to go back to because this is that same

416
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Speaker 1: article about Mrs Meeker who talked about her boss being ridiculous,

417
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Speaker 1: and she's saying, sometimes being a team player means getting

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Speaker 1: your own stuff done so that other people can get

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Speaker 1: their own work done, and I thought about, like, yeah,

420
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 1: you're literally holding back people. This is that whole like

421
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,199
Speaker 1: also that team building or like group projects, when you

422
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: have that one person who doesn't want to hold up

423
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 1: the end of the deal. So therefore you're doing their

424
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 1: work for them because it affects everyone, but it doesn't

425
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: matter because they don't care. And they also again most

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Speaker 1: likely someone in their group, We'll do it for them

427
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: because this affects all of them, right, and they're confident

428
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 1: that they will not be the one that gets blamed

429
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 1: for it, or that they can talk their their way

430
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: out of it, right and just leave it alone, or

431
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 1: maybe no one will make a big deal and just

432
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 1: do it. You know how I am. I can't do

433
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: this and this and this and this, although I think

434
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 1: I've used that with you when I'm like, I don't

435
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 1: prioritize getting my money back. Can you do it so

436
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: one of us can get paid? Thanks? Um? Well, And

437
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 1: I also want to talk about this is something I

438
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: have mentioned in several podcasts that I wanted to talk about.

439
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna get into it more in a minute, but

440
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: I think not only is this happening, but we're glorifying

441
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: it and men like it's funny and cute, like, oh,

442
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 1: silly him, he can't do it, so all like the

443
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 1: wife in this case, I'll take care of it. He

444
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: needs me, Like it's it's made. We've made it into

445
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: something that is, like you said, a plot of a

446
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: sitcom where it's funny and we like these male characters

447
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: that can't do anything and we like laughing at them.

448
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with that, but

449
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 1: it's that we're making them the hero and the woman

450
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: the nagging right, right, It's true. And going back to

451
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: that TikTok phenomenon, apparently like millions. There's millions of people

452
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: looking at the tag weaponized and competence. There's been so

453
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 1: many posts, and you know, this pandemic has shown the real, uh,

454
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: unequal bits of what is happening and who's taking on

455
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: a chunk of the responsibility. And you know, it's about trust,

456
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: like like just about being able to get support and

457
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 1: being able to lean on someone to get that support

458
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: to get things done and not breaking down. And yet,

459
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: like you said, it is often villainized in movies, and

460
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: I feel like both of these cinemas are seeing in

461
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: Mrs Doubtfire, which is why I was like, any you

462
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: have to go watch this before we start, So can

463
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: you please tell me you've watched this? Yeah, I did

464
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: watch it. It It was my first time. I've never seen it.

465
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: I heard of it, of its existence. So it was

466
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: made in I need to hear a synopsis from you

467
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 1: as well as a review. Oh, Lord of Gisignment, you

468
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: are okay. So it stars Robin Williams as the dad

469
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: in this case, the strategic incompetent person who is an

470
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: actor like a voice actor, child actor, and Sally Field

471
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: is his She she's business Jason, she's high up business

472
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 1: person and he is sort of the fun dad who

473
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 1: never does the stuff that they need to do to

474
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: take care of their two three children. Three children, and

475
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: so finally one day sally Field comes home and it's like,

476
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. I want to divorce, and

477
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: he's all like, no, you can't do I need my

478
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: children in my life, and she says no, He's allowed

479
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: visitation like on weekends and stuff, but she also doesn't

480
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: like what he's doing there because his apartment is not great,

481
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: and then the food he provides isn't good. Um, so

482
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 1: she reveals she's gonna get a housekeeper and he asked

483
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 1: if it can be him, and uh, she says now.

484
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 1: So he of course stresses as an elderly British woman

485
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 1: named Mrs Doubtfire Yes, and gets the job, and part

486
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: because he knows the family, I think. But anyway, the

487
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 1: kids love Mrs doubt Fire after it a tense start,

488
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: and then sally Field's character goes to love Missus Doubtfire.

489
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: And also you see him really struggling with like he

490
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: has to learn how to cook and he has to

491
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: learn how to clean all this stuff he's been like

492
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: putting off forever. And then Pierce Broson enters the picture

493
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: and is trying to date Sally Field, and then why

494
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: does this Mrs Doubtfire, Robin Williams character, not Miss staff Fire,

495
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: gets an opportunity at a TV station for a children's show.

496
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: It all comes to a head. We find out the

497
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: whole everyone finds out Ms. His doubt Fire is in

498
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,239
Speaker 1: fact not Mrs doubt Fire and Robin Williams, but he

499
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: gets this show as Mrs tout Fire. And then I

500
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,239
Speaker 1: guess they decide that he can work and take care

501
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: of the children at the end and maybe they'll make commends.

502
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: Was that a good good? So? What do you think

503
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: about it? It was different than I thought because I

504
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: had heard a lot about it and I was just

505
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: kind of still shocked at it. I'm not sure how

506
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: well it's aged either, but you know, it was enjoyable.

507
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: I was annoyed at how since we are talking about

508
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: this and I was looking at it through that that lens.

509
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: I was annoyed at how much like Robin Williams's character

510
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: does the like you're taking my kids with me crag

511
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: and crag and she's the the bitch, the villain who's

512
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: like not giving in to his his scenes of emotion

513
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: um and the kids are against her for a long

514
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: time and he's against her, and so it did feel

515
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: very like he seemed to not be pulling his weight

516
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: at all. And then when she's like, well, you've gotta

517
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: do what you gotta help me, and he didn't, didn't

518
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: really and he was the fun dad and she was

519
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: the bad, evil mom and I didn't. Yeah, I didn't

520
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: like that. She gives that whole speech she's the way

521
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 1: because it Sally Phils who was icon, you know, and

522
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 1: she just delivers that speech in the heat way it is.

523
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: She's not wrong, just not wrong what she's saying, right,

524
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: it was. It was weird because to me when I

525
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 1: watched it, I was, I guess I was, you know,

526
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 1: on her side, or at least I saw her point

527
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: of it. I wasn't at mass at her, but it

528
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,959
Speaker 1: was definitely painting it like she's the one breaking up

529
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: this family. She's the one that won't let them be

530
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: happy together even though that's what the kids want, what

531
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: he wants. She is the villain for sure. And now

532
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: she's dating Pierce Broson and she's putting her work like

533
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: in a high place. So definitely bad. She hires a housekeeper,

534
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: she's not with her kids, Like it was definitely pointing

535
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: the finger at her as the bad mom and villain

536
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: of this when really it seems like she's just trying

537
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: to be the good mom and take care of children

538
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: and also make right. And you know, thinking about it,

539
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: Santa Claus, did you ever see that the same thing

540
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: the grandmother as the emil mother who was trying to

541
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: keep her son away to be fair, the sons like,

542
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to go over there because my dad's

543
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: lacking so many things, blah blah blah. I also want

544
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: to go ahead, because I was looking at IMDb, I

545
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: was like, I just want to make sure we got

546
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: all the character because you know, we had to get

547
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: all that right. But oh my god, these plots, somebodys

548
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: that the reviewers put in. Let me go ahead, just

549
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: read a line from each one. This one starts off

550
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: with eccentric actor Daniel Hillard is an amusing, caring father,

551
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: so that's how that goes, and he talks about how

552
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: he's trying to get himself together to see his children.

553
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: His wife Miranda, draws a line and files for divorce.

554
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 1: He can only see his children once a week and

555
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: doesn't sit well with him. He also holds a job

556
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 1: at a TV studio, like all these things that you're

557
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,719
Speaker 1: like this obviously, yeah, you read into that. And then

558
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: the last line is and he must also deal with

559
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: Miranda's new boyfriend, stud Dunmeyer. Yeah, I'm like, that's an

560
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: interesting way and that and then this one says troubled

561
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: that he has little access to his children. Divorced, Daniel

562
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: Hillard hatches an elaborate plan and then they wanted to

563
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: explain what it is and just like, m that's an

564
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: interesting way to say that. And then this one, how

565
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: far would an ordinary father go to spend more time

566
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: with his children? Well, okay, okay uh. And then this

567
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: longer line also starts with Daniel Hillard is a voice

568
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: actor living in San Francisco, California. Though a devoted, loving,

569
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 1: and well meaning father to his three children, Daniel is

570
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 1: a poor disciplinarian and his wife considers him unreliable. Yeah,

571
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: well so that's what I wrote some like key things

572
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: Sam when I was watching it, and I think one

573
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: it's interesting to me, And I'm glad you bought up

574
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: the Santa Claus because i think every Christmas movie ever

575
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: has this plot, but like, it's interesting to me that

576
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 1: he's all, I want to spend more time with my kids,

577
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: but he wasn't really outside of like being goofy dad

578
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 1: every now and then, he wasn't really spending that much

579
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: time with him anyway. It's ironic to me that he

580
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: had to pretend to be a woman to take some

581
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: responsibility and that's when he's first just like oh cleaning

582
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: and cooking and yeah, like he has this whole like

583
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: tear full line I need to be with my children,

584
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: but he really wasn't taking responsibility for their raising. And yeah,

585
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 1: just because he is the hero of this story. Again,

586
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 1: it goes back to what I was saying, where we've

587
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: really painted this into I don't like again, Yeah, this's

588
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: goofy well meaning like you know, oh he tries his best,

589
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: but does he though, because clearly he did it did

590
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: so we know that. It begins with the disastrous birthday party,

591
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: which the neighbors call Miranda to come home and fix

592
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: because he wasn't listening to the neighbors, which there's one

593
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: thing to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, neighbors are annoying. However,

594
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: in this instance of having live animals rolling up and

595
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: down your street and you don't know what's happening at

596
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: three pm. Some questions, there's some questions him putting a

597
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: job without talking to his wife and not even leading

598
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: up to something, and the fact that she is the

599
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: primary breadwinner in this scenario as well, And yeah, they

600
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: paint that as a bad thing when I'm like, yeah,

601
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,959
Speaker 1: but he just quote his job like no one, No

602
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: one saw that. Who's going to be the one taking

603
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: care of So she's gonna do both. You are mad

604
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: that she's doing m okay, moving on. And then also

605
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: his redeeming arc because he's already sympathetic to begin with,

606
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: is that she finally has a moment to confide in

607
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: him and he's finally listening instead of being defensive an argumentative.

608
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 1: He could only do that dress as a woman. Yep,

609
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: I thought that too, And I was thinking, like, I

610
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: guess I could make an argument that this was a

611
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: commentary on gender on a gender dynamic in a heterostist

612
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: relationship we already know exists, but it's weird that it's

613
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: of like accepted that this is the way it is. Right.

614
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, I really loved this comedy. This

615
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: is one of my dad's favorite movies, and he used

616
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: to do these lines and it was hilarious and I

617
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: still remember these iconic lines. Robin Williams. I loved him,

618
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: and I am so grateful that he was that good

619
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: of a human that I don't have to backtrack and

620
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: say he's not a great person. We know these things

621
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: about him, very grateful for that, and we know that

622
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: he was a kind person and this pretty much fell

623
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: into his kind of Chris Columbus is the one who

624
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: directed this, and we know him from Harry Potter. For

625
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: me anyway. Um, but like all of these things, it's like, yeah,

626
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: it's absolutely a stereotype. And it took a while before

627
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: really people had a moment of like, yeah, yeah, this

628
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: is not the best commentary on relationships and here's why.

629
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: Um and even still people would be like feminist are

630
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: being over the top. It's just a good hearted movie,

631
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: calmed the down type of commentator. But like, yeah, but

632
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 1: does needs to be a conversation about why this is

633
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: a problem, why we need to have several talks about

634
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: what this is and how women are portrayed in media.

635
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: You've got one of the best actresses in the world

636
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: playing this awful character with some of the cutest kids

637
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 1: Marrow Wilson in the movie. You know, all of those things,

638
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: but we need to unravel some of this conversation of

639
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: like why is this so accepted and why is this

640
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: the only way we can take any true commentary into

641
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: points and this we're We've already gone through, Kanye, so

642
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: I'm not going to bring it up too much more.

643
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: Except this is kind of that example of I'm a father,

644
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: they're keeping my children away from me and demonizing a

645
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: parent when they're like, no, you need to look around

646
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: at your own attitude, what you are doing in your

647
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: actions and how Yeah, this is not about keeping a

648
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: child away from the father. It's about having you get

649
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 1: yourself together so you can be a good father. Yes,

650
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: I was thinking about, like I said, all these Christmas

651
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: movies have this plot of like the dad's not that

652
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: he's always working for Christmas and then he doesn't get

653
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 1: the toy and he forgot even though his wife has

654
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: been telling him forever to get the toy. I'm talking

655
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: about you all the way, But yeah, it happens a

656
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 1: lot in all the movies, and she's seen as like

657
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 1: the nagging person. He's here at the end, just because

658
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 1: he finally realizes like, oh, I have a family and

659
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm here on Christmas, um, And I can't help but

660
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: feel like this is like male writers writing these stories

661
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 1: either to redeem themselves or their own father's time cycle

662
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 1: analyzing email right, I'm sorry, UM, are women do which

663
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: maybe write some of this stuff to excuse all the

664
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: work they do versus what their husbands do. And we

665
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: haven't even gotten into the sitcom wife yet, which is

666
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: the big piece of this conversation, especially for me, who

667
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: I have watched a lot of these growing up, and

668
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,240
Speaker 1: so many of those sitcoms, especially of like a certain

669
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: time when I was watching them in like the nineties

670
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: early two thousands, um, were the husband and wife, and

671
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: the wife was seen as the villain who was stopping

672
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: him from having fun. She us the nagging housewife who

673
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: was never happy, always yelling at him. And also like

674
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: this is a separate conversation, but she was like banging

675
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 1: and he was not really right. And I hate to

676
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: make things about looks and I actually have a whole

677
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: thought process that I want to come back in a

678
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: future episode about it, but just it's it may be

679
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: so mad, like every time I'm like, why is she

680
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,919
Speaker 1: Why is the sitcom wife always like this and we're

681
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: always laughing at like the antics of the husband and

682
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: the main character in this who is like not helping

683
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: around the house or with the kids and is messing

684
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: up at work and forgets all this stuff, and then

685
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: we laugh and laugh and when she comes on like,

686
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: oh no, the fun is ruined. Yeah, literally, that's exactly right.

687
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: They're like, oh no, she took all the fun out

688
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: of the room. You're like, why could she ask you

689
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: to clean? Why because she told me to go to bed?

690
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: Why because she said dinner it's ready? Can you please

691
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: come on? I could ask some dinner come on. It's

692
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: hilarious and not just with like the really hot wise

693
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: but in the majority of the time they are half

694
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: the age of the men, and as the men are,

695
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: the comedians grow older and older, though your wife stay

696
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: the same age, and you're like, this is not realistic,

697
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,240
Speaker 1: and apparently having that flip is kind of offensive according

698
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,760
Speaker 1: to our society. Like it's just it's quite funny because

699
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: most of the things that we see with women centric

700
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: comedies is that they're either single, they're with other women,

701
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: or they're divorced or widowed, Like it's like they're trying

702
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: to find themselves as new you know, like those are

703
00:37:55,040 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: the again m hm m hmm. Yeah, perhaps that separate

704
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: episode we're kind of working on. But I have noticed

705
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: things like that too, and I actually am. I mean,

706
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: there's a very there's a dark side of that, right,

707
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: and very sad part. But I've been excited to see

708
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: a lot of movies lately that I've been watching at

709
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,760
Speaker 1: least that are very much about the power of female

710
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: friendship and supporting each other. I that makes me happy,

711
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: but it is kind of like, well, did we have

712
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 1: to do this because the gender dynamic is so bad? Right?

713
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, um, And you know, we're watching this stuff

714
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: as children, and that's informing how we think households work,

715
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: and perhaps we're seeing it in our real lives and

716
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: not informing how we think these relationships work and what's

717
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: acceptable and what's not acceptable. So we're really taking in

718
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 1: these messages at a young age. I mean, it has

719
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: everything to like we're being told as women that whence

720
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: you become a wife, a mother, you are a caretaker

721
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: to the entire family. And when we talk about matriarch

722
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: it's kind of bad. Is that women are taking care

723
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: of the household. And then when we say patriarch work,

724
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: talking about them being the disciplinarian or the lead or

725
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,439
Speaker 1: the head, and it's like, even that seems sexist when

726
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: we put that in in terms. Yeah, yeah, for sure,

727
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: And it is always presented. I mean, we've talked about

728
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: this and so many, so many things, but it's again

729
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 1: another damned if you do, damned if you don't, because

730
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 1: you have to take care of the kids, and if

731
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: you don't, then you're like a cold bitch. And if

732
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 1: you don't, like, if you work too much, then what's

733
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: wrong with you? You should be home with the kids.

734
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: But it's also like a weird space where you have

735
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: to work too. It doesn't make sense. It's infuriating. Uh,

736
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 1: And it's just almost always like, well, we're blaming the

737
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: woman in this instance, and I find that interesting. They

738
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: make sure to have the women really dislikable, and it's

739
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: not the fact that there's any redeeming quality. You just

740
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: don't like them because they are all these things that

741
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 1: you see in your baby strict mother or a very

742
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: strict person in your life, and typically again our mother

743
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: in this in this type. But then if the dude

744
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: is a dick. It's just funny ha ha. Yes, yes,

745
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: and also like I want to come back to that

746
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 1: in a second. But also I promise you most women

747
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,919
Speaker 1: don't want to quote right, we don't want to ask

748
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 1: you to do these things, like I dread it, yeah,

749
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: because I know that's how you're going to view me.

750
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: Like I'll ask you one exactly, I'll ask you twice

751
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: that I'm done. And that's again the same thing as

752
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: weaponized in competence exactly. Think I don't have to deal

753
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: with that as much, but I've seen it. I've seen

754
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: it in more places I've seen it and like all

755
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: of that. Yes, yeah, so that's that's a big part

756
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: of this too, Like we we really don't want to

757
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: I mean, who would want to do that? Right? A

758
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: certain number of people, yes, but most people don't want

759
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: to have to like take on this task. I don't

760
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: think so makes a lot of energy. It does, exactly.

761
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 1: It's another thing we're doing and we're not getting paid for,

762
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: recognized for other than you're being a bit stop out

763
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: it right right, Yes, So I'm not going to go

764
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 1: into this too much. I think we should come back

765
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: in the future episode. I've mentioned it a lot, and

766
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 1: I have a happy hour about it coming up. But

767
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 1: kind of related to this is what I was talking

768
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: about earlier, which is something I call the glorification of

769
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: the asp, which is the kind of a similar idea

770
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 1: where we're laughing at the the bumbling sitcom husband and

771
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, yeah, well he's funny and putting them

772
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: in sort of the hero pedestal. And I think lately

773
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 1: we've seen kind of something related, which is the anti hero,

774
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: who's usually a jerk and sarcastic and rude, is the

775
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: hero and we're behind this person. So I've seen it

776
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: in Star Wars, I've seen it in Marvel. Like I

777
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: have a whole thing about Iron Man, who I think

778
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: is an interesting character. I just think exactly, perhaps we

779
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 1: should not be He's like a lot of people's favorites,

780
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 1: and I get I don't, but he's funny and he's interesting,

781
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: and but we should step back and be like, okay,

782
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: I mean, essentially, Pepper Potts had to take over the

783
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 1: company because he was getting like two sides. Act. Don't

784
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 1: get me wrong, I know he's inventing things and helping

785
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 1: the world, but he also claimed that for himself and

786
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 1: was very proud of it and took all the claim,

787
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: even that whole like the beginning of Avengers where he's

788
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 1: doing the whole clean energy stuff and he's like, give

789
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: yourself some credit and give yourself. I can't remember the line,

790
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: but it's very significantly less and she's like what what which? Yeah, which,

791
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,399
Speaker 1: again I get is supposed to be funny, but it's

792
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 1: also like why is funny though, because he's kind of

793
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: a jerk and he has a He has a lot

794
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 1: of instances where I'm like, I don't know that he

795
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: brought her strawberries and she's allergic. The only that's the

796
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: one thing, really, dude, you're trying to kill. And again

797
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: they're just like it's painted as a quirk and he's

798
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: busy and is all this stuff sure you don't care about? Yeah,

799
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: it's there's a lot. I know, there's like complx and

800
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff we ca're talking about. But

801
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: I do want to mention that, And I wanted to

802
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 1: mention when when I said Survival Horrors another episode you

803
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: could listen to that sort of related to this is

804
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: I think we're a lot more forgiving of men and

805
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: their flaws, especially white men and their flaws and their

806
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 1: trauma um as compared to anyone else. So like a

807
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: character like Kyler inferences, we're like so ready to explain

808
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: his backstory and we're so ready to be like, but

809
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 1: he's tragic and sad and oh, you can't be mad

810
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: at him because he has all this. We don't do

811
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: that for a lot of women, are people of color, Like,

812
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: we're just like, nope, I don't like her or whatever

813
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: it is, moving on exactly exactly. We don't give them

814
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:35,319
Speaker 1: this side of fan work of but he's so let

815
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: me take care of him. He's so sad, And that's

816
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: sort of a different conversation, but it's related to this,

817
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: I think, where we're really ready to explain away men's flaws,

818
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: in particularly white men's flaws. And then there's the whole

819
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: conversation with like and the Mandalorian and the anti hero

820
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: and why we're like so ready to forgive and so like,

821
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 1: but they're still good at their job. And somebody posted

822
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: a listen was like are they though? And I was like,

823
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: this is what I'm talking about, And again, there's nothing

824
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 1: wrong with liking those characters. I think we should just

825
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 1: be clear on like the stories we've been told so

826
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 1: often about what a hero is and what is the

827
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 1: way we're celebrating and why and versus who were we

828
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: like condemning and why? Yes, and this is like we've

829
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: been talking a lot about fiction, but as you started

830
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:28,320
Speaker 1: off this conversation, Samantha, this does have real world consequences

831
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: and like it's a way huger conversation than we're going

832
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:33,839
Speaker 1: to get into right now. But I think things like

833
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: Donald Trump is part of this, like this is this

834
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: has real world impacts that are huge. I mean, we

835
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 1: could look at what's happening with Russia and Putin and

836
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: yes we've had issues. I'm not putting it sorely on

837
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, but this huge rhetoric of all of a

838
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: sudden painting Russia as a hero, which did not happen

839
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 1: until Trump. Honestly, like Cold War still fresh and in

840
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: most people's minds, even if he didn't live through it,

841
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: you still kind of know about it because there's been

842
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: a lot of like end of times for the U.

843
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: S has had a lot to deal with, like Russia

844
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: when you know this, but like yeah, like stuff like

845
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: that where you have this like but he wasn't being

846
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: serious and having to backtrack, but he he was like

847
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: he was. There's a lot of confustion theories and maybe

848
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,760
Speaker 1: not so conspiracy theories about like what did we promise? Hello,

849
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,879
Speaker 1: look at what has happened with Ukraine? And hello, look

850
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 1: what he did during the election, just the recent elections

851
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: and trying to strong arm the Ukrainian government with trying

852
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: to win his own like, like, there's so many things

853
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 1: to that his all this excuse that we give to men. Kavanaugh,

854
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: there were boys, Like when my mother said that to

855
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: me and she was like he was young, I was

856
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 1: like he was thirties. No, No, he was an adult.

857
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: I don't understand that he was young. Let's stop. And

858
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: that's that same level of incompetence that he's like, do

859
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 1: you really think that he didn't know? Again, it says

860
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 1: it in that article about that it becomes a great

861
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: defense strategy, and it has, it's worked, and it's become absurd.

862
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:13,399
Speaker 1: We're looking at some of the recent campaigning Marjorie Taylor Green,

863
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: which we haven't talked about because I'm like, I don't

864
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: want to give her much air in general. I know

865
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 1: we can't ignore her, but I don't want to acknowledge her.

866
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: Either her recent like, oh, I didn't know as a

867
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 1: white supremacist, I didn't realize that this was a whole

868
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 1: like thing. I just went to talk about my stuff,

869
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,960
Speaker 1: like no, you can't, you can't. You can't blame that

870
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 1: on your ignorance. Let's let's really be honest. Same thing

871
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: with CRT, same thing with so many other things. I

872
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 1: think there was a huge conversation on TikTok once again

873
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: about Mount Rushmore and how really bad it is and

874
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 1: how they literally took over the land from Indigenous people

875
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 1: who've been white men on it that we idolized way

876
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: too much. It's just keep it to that point. But

877
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: there's a lot of that too to that point, and

878
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: like people will be like, well we they know, well why,

879
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, this is what you should learn. The

880
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,959
Speaker 1: same thing as plantation, when people are like, I didn't

881
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: know as a plantation, Well I thought they changed it

882
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:08,919
Speaker 1: burn bitch, No you knew, or you could have looked

883
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: it up. It's not hard. It's not hard. And this

884
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,399
Speaker 1: whole level of like how this goes and stretches over

885
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 1: all of society. It's not just men, it's not just

886
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 1: uh in marriages, it's not just that work place, but overall,

887
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: how harmful this rhetoric is, and why education is so

888
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: important that's a whole different thing, and taking on responsibility

889
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 1: and just being a good damn human. Let's just let's

890
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: just be there. I'm so I love it, and we've

891
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: we've touched on a lot. Like I know that there's

892
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: so much we touched on that is bigger than what

893
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 1: we discussed today, and I'm sure we'll come back and

894
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: talk about that. But yeah, clearly there's a lot going

895
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 1: on with this conversation and it's impacts and the damage

896
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 1: that it can do and has done. But yeah, you

897
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: know so much. I do like a lot of the

898
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: fixtion I mentioned. I'm just saying critical of the messages

899
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: you're receiving over and over, be willing to have the

900
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: conversation of yeah, this was problematic. We've talked about this

901
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: as we're trying to pick out books and movies. The

902
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,760
Speaker 1: feature we wanted all to be highlighting and very happy

903
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: because oftentimes topics I picked specifically are really sad negative,

904
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: so we try to do that on the opposite end.

905
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: But at this point, you know, you just have to

906
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 1: acknowledge I love this. At once upon a time. But yes,

907
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: this is problematic and we need to talk about why

908
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 1: instead of ignoring it. Well that's part of the reason

909
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: we're here, but in a fun way, fun way, fun way.

910
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: Not you're to make anybody feel guilty generally not you

911
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: good listeners. Yeah, we love you well. Thank you so

912
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: much for going on this journey with us. Yes, yeah,

913
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 1: it's been a long time coming. And like I said,

914
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 1: we got some follow ups on this one. But in

915
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: the means, if you have any thoughts about this, if

916
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: you have any suggestions, please let us know. You can

917
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: email us that Stuff and your mom Stuff at I

918
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: heart media dot com. You can find us on Twitter

919
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 1: at mom Stuff Podcasts, or on Instagram and Stuff I've

920
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: Never Told You. Thanks. It's always to our producer Christina.

921
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've

922
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: Never Told You. Suction of I Heeart Radio. For more

923
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: podcast from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,

924
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,240
Speaker 1: Apple podcast or radio. Listen to favorite shows.