1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,360
Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh, Sam, I love you so much.

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,560
Speaker 2: I love you almost as much as the great stories

3
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:06,520
Speaker 2: that are about to come up.

4
00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:08,959
Speaker 3: And you know what, I love equally as much as

5
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,800
Speaker 3: the two minutes of sponsors coming up, because they support

6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,360
Speaker 3: the show and make sure that we will have her happily.

7
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,439
Speaker 2: Ever, after I ran away from home after an argument,

8
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,800
Speaker 2: my father got disowned for it.

9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,959
Speaker 4: How did he get this own for?

10
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,119
Speaker 1: That's usually the other way around, is it not.

11
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, wait, didn't you just disown yourself? I'm so confused.

12
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,320
Speaker 2: This happened in twenty twenty, but it recently got brought up,

13
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:34,120
Speaker 2: so I thought i'd ask. So I seventeen female used

14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,240
Speaker 2: to have a great relationship with my stepmother. I genuinely

15
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,199
Speaker 2: saw her as a mother figure in my life, and

16
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,280
Speaker 2: I was so excited when she found out she was pregnant.

17
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,159
Speaker 2: But everything changed in twenty twenty when I had to

18
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,879
Speaker 2: stay prematurely with my dad during the lockdowns because my

19
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,400
Speaker 2: mom is a surgeon. By the way, this comes from

20
00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,080
Speaker 2: user Unhappy Tiger seventeen fifty one. And if you want

21
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,440
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the arslagh Okay

22
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 2: Storytime subrad I didn't submit them there so at first,

23
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,080
Speaker 2: everything was innormal until my stepmother, Tammy, was about four

24
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,080
Speaker 2: months pregnant. She started snapping at me for no reason,

25
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,959
Speaker 2: and things that she didn't care about before now bothered her.

26
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,640
Speaker 1: Now. I wasn't a messy or loud person.

27
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 2: I did everything I was asked and respected the rules

28
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 2: without any backtalk. But no matter what I did, she

29
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 2: got angry. It got to a point where she couldn't

30
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,959
Speaker 2: stand being in the same room as me. I remember,

31
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 2: I ended up staying in my room most of the time.

32
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,560
Speaker 2: I only left to do chores or get something from

33
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,880
Speaker 2: the kitchen. Even at that she would get mad. One day,

34
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,480
Speaker 2: she came into my room angry and started yelling that

35
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 2: my room was so smelly it was making her sick.

36
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,199
Speaker 2: I pointed out that the only mess in the room

37
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 2: was a half bag of chips, which caused her to

38
00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,800
Speaker 2: burst out crying. As always, my dad babied her, then

39
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,480
Speaker 2: made excuses, saying she was struggling over lockdown, pregnancy, and

40
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,040
Speaker 2: not being able to see her family.

41
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 4: Okay, I don't think she's trying to take it out

42
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 4: on you as of right now. It just seems like

43
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 4: she's a surgeon. This is a really tough time for

44
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,680
Speaker 4: anyone in the medical field. She's also pregnant.

45
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 1: My mental health was extremely bad.

46
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,800
Speaker 2: I felt like I was a piece of trash and

47
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,079
Speaker 2: that any day my dad was going to throw me away.

48
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,920
Speaker 2: I was always scared my mom would get sick. It

49
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,560
Speaker 2: got so bad my hair started falling out. And the

50
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,400
Speaker 2: breaking point came when I was at the kitchen table.

51
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,880
Speaker 2: I was reading a story on my phone, waiting for

52
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,360
Speaker 2: my cereal to get soggy so I could eat it,

53
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,079
Speaker 2: which I hate that sentence, but I'm going to ignore

54
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,520
Speaker 2: that and continue. When Tammy came in, she huffed, then

55
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,480
Speaker 2: started cleaning loudly, complaining about a mess, even though the

56
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,239
Speaker 2: kitchen was spotless. Then she took my bowl and threw

57
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 2: it in the bin, literally even the bowl. I just

58
00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 2: flipped and started yelling at her, asking what her problem

59
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,320
Speaker 2: with me was, and called her some not very kind words,

60
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 2: among other things. My dad came running and got in

61
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,760
Speaker 2: between us. She demanded that I leave the house and

62
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,919
Speaker 2: that I was never allowed near her kid. Dad walked

63
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,440
Speaker 2: me to my room and then said something that ruined

64
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,640
Speaker 2: our relationship forever. He told me that I must be

65
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,320
Speaker 2: doing something to Tammy, because no one hates a kid

66
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,720
Speaker 2: for no reason. He also said if I kept stressing

67
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,880
Speaker 2: her out, I'd have to move out. I then made

68
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,519
Speaker 2: a social media post asking someone for a place to stay,

69
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,919
Speaker 2: explaining the situation in detail. I then packed a bag

70
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 2: and climbed out of my bedroom window a bungalow. This

71
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,880
Speaker 2: is such a seventeen year old story. Yeah, your dad

72
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,960
Speaker 2: was totally fair for saying what he said.

73
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:20,920
Speaker 1: So was he correct?

74
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,200
Speaker 2: Like, No, I'm sure there are people who like hate

75
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,320
Speaker 2: kids for absolutely no reason other than you know, I

76
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,760
Speaker 2: don't like that kid. But your dad's just being like,

77
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,760
Speaker 2: there's gotta be something that's setting her off.

78
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he's just putting the finger at you. I

79
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,360
Speaker 4: don't know, you didn't do anything wrong, but this was

80
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,640
Speaker 4: again during this time. It makes a lot of sense

81
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,400
Speaker 4: because there was such hot tension in everyone everyone's home,

82
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,400
Speaker 4: and everyone was mentally just drained.

83
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's totally whacked out right now. And Ope, you're

84
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 2: probably trying to get ahead of the curve. Ope already

85
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,040
Speaker 2: made a comment how she felt like I'm gonna get

86
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 2: kicked out any day, or you know, I'm so anxious

87
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,720
Speaker 2: my hair's falling out.

88
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,720
Speaker 4: It just sounds like a seventeen year old, like the

89
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,320
Speaker 4: world's out to get me kind of thing.

90
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's like you're not gonna kick me out.

91
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,839
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave. I'm not gonna give you the chance.

92
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:00,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

93
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,000
Speaker 4: No, it's like I'm an adult now, or like I'm

94
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,840
Speaker 4: about to be an adult. I can stand for myself. Yeah,

95
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 4: it's just one of those things where no one really

96
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 4: communicated and it was just high emotions.

97
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 1: Seventeen. I wouldn't have been able to have this conversation

98
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 1: at seventeen at all.

99
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:11,960
Speaker 4: Me neither.

100
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,560
Speaker 1: No, I probably would have done the same thing.

101
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,159
Speaker 2: After about thirty minutes, my phone started blowing up, and

102
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,600
Speaker 2: I just turned it off and went to a friend's house.

103
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 2: I texted my mom off my friend's phone to let

104
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,080
Speaker 2: her know everything. She didn't call for seven hours because

105
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,360
Speaker 2: she was in surgery. She said my aunt would pick

106
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,840
Speaker 2: me up the next day. My mom told my father

107
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,039
Speaker 2: I was okay and that I'd be staying with my

108
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,000
Speaker 2: aunt for two weeks until she could come home.

109
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,360
Speaker 4: Did I switch up? So is Tammy's step mom and

110
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,160
Speaker 4: then Opie has another mom like her actual mom? I'm confused.

111
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,560
Speaker 1: Yes, Tammy is step mom.

112
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,760
Speaker 4: Mammy a stepmom, But is Tammy also a surgeon?

113
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,479
Speaker 1: No? Mom is surgeon.

114
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,120
Speaker 2: Quick edit, Tammy's not a surgeon. That's Opie's mom. But

115
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,200
Speaker 2: everything we're saying about people being completely out of their

116
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,680
Speaker 2: minds during lockdown is still true regardless of if you're a.

117
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,200
Speaker 1: Surgeon or not.

118
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,120
Speaker 2: Anyway, my mom told my father I was okay and

119
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,239
Speaker 2: that I'd be staying with my aunt for two weeks

120
00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:05,720
Speaker 2: until she could come home. Apparently, Dad and Tammy had

121
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,160
Speaker 2: to go door to door to my family or friends'

122
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 2: houses looking for me, you know, after I made the post.

123
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,320
Speaker 2: Let's just say they got a lot of crap. My

124
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,159
Speaker 2: grandparents still don't talk to him to this day. My

125
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,520
Speaker 2: aunt packed up my room because I refuse to go

126
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,279
Speaker 2: back into that house. I've not spoken to my father

127
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,919
Speaker 2: in years or met my half brother. Tammy and Dad

128
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,600
Speaker 2: still try to fix our relationship. Apparently, sometimes pregnant women

129
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,440
Speaker 2: develop a hatred against people or pets for no reason.

130
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,840
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know.

131
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,719
Speaker 4: This is all literally happening over literally spilt milk. Yeah,

132
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,400
Speaker 4: she threw the bowl of soggy cereal.

133
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,160
Speaker 2: Away, which you shouldn't be eating soggy cereal, you little

134
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,080
Speaker 2: loafeed whatever. No, I can't say that, but like I

135
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,200
Speaker 2: would have thrown it away too, because that's ruined cereal.

136
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:50,400
Speaker 4: I like soggy cereal.

137
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,200
Speaker 1: I hate it. I need crunch.

138
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,440
Speaker 4: Literally, that's what it is. A teenager, got there?

139
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 1: What's this seventeen year old dude? That's all this is.

140
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,560
Speaker 2: Is this seventeen year old being in seventeen year old

141
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,680
Speaker 2: fights and yeah, it's like your pregnant step mom is

142
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,920
Speaker 2: yelling at you and crying and screaming. It's like, well,

143
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,840
Speaker 2: if you're older, you just understand, like, I'm gonna let

144
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,440
Speaker 2: all of this go because this is just a big

145
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,679
Speaker 2: pregnant lady and going in like one of the weirdest

146
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,120
Speaker 2: times in our history. She's stressed out come on turn

147
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,640
Speaker 2: in eighteen in three weeks and a cousin's girlfriend asked

148
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 2: me about inviting my dad, So I told her the story.

149
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,200
Speaker 1: She told me.

150
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,400
Speaker 2: While what they did was wrong, what I did was

151
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,920
Speaker 2: an a whole thing too, because I made them worry

152
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,279
Speaker 2: and stress and go to multiple people's houses during a pandemic,

153
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,960
Speaker 2: which put a pregnant woman with mental health issues at

154
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,360
Speaker 2: risk by my whole stunt.

155
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,400
Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for letting my dad

156
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,440
Speaker 1: think I was missing? Yes?

157
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're also seventeen, so kind of no, Lets say, no,

158
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,680
Speaker 2: one's an ahole here. It's just you're seventeen and she's

159
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,800
Speaker 2: super pregnant. So let's read these comments. Comment one, You

160
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,960
Speaker 2: were being mistreated by this woman to the point you

161
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 2: were losing hair, and your father chose her. You did

162
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,280
Speaker 2: the right thing to protect yourself, even if this was

163
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,800
Speaker 2: something medical with her due to the pregnancy. The two

164
00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,839
Speaker 2: adults in the situation owed you far more grace and understanding,

165
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 2: and you got He told you it was on you

166
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,400
Speaker 2: because his wife couldn't possibly hate someone so much without

167
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 2: a reason while knowing dang, well, you weren't doing anything wrong.

168
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,760
Speaker 1: But do we know that though?

169
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,119
Speaker 2: Is it really like that's we know for a fact

170
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,680
Speaker 2: that no seventeen year old could possibly be contentious with

171
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 2: their step parent. Yeah, are we really buying that? Of

172
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,200
Speaker 2: course they could be. He doesn't know. He's not with

173
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 2: them at every second of the day. How's he supposed

174
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 2: to know that there's nothing being instigated. He can live

175
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,040
Speaker 2: with those consequences. If they can't apologize without blaming you,

176
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,239
Speaker 2: then there is no real apology happening.

177
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,600
Speaker 1: Not the ahole. I mean, you know, I think everyone

178
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,360
Speaker 1: can apologize here you can apologize first if you want.

179
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,080
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, that never matters. Do

180
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,679
Speaker 2: you know how many times I've tallied in my life

181
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,720
Speaker 2: who has apologized first in an argument?

182
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:45,160
Speaker 1: Zero?

183
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,360
Speaker 2: I don't know, I have none. It just doesn't matter.

184
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,640
Speaker 2: The point is to move on from that entire moment

185
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,320
Speaker 2: in your life.

186
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,560
Speaker 4: I think he was trying to call and apologize, but

187
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,560
Speaker 4: you didn't pick up the phone. You literally denied him

188
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,880
Speaker 4: that to give him the apology, and they were freaking

189
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,320
Speaker 4: out looking for you, houst. How block to block? That

190
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,760
Speaker 4: shows that they genuinely care about you.

191
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 2: Give me the update here update, and I'm gonna give you

192
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 2: guys a heads up. The context changes really radically here at.

193
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,280
Speaker 1: The top of this update. To stick with me, Hi.

194
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 2: Guys, I honestly thought I'd never give an update, but

195
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,840
Speaker 2: here I am. I'm gonna call my cousin's girlfriend Sarah

196
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,480
Speaker 2: and my cousin Paul. Remember that so I mentioned in

197
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,400
Speaker 2: a comment I uninvited Sarah from a party yesterday.

198
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,040
Speaker 1: Paul came over to talk.

199
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,960
Speaker 2: He told me Sarah had issues in the past with

200
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,600
Speaker 2: her younger siblings and it was apparently really bad. Like

201
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 2: Sarah's siblings lived with their mom full time and she

202
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,599
Speaker 2: lived with her dad. Long story short, Sarah was diagnosed

203
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,320
Speaker 2: with bipolar disorder in college and went to therapy. Paul said,

204
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,079
Speaker 2: even though Sarah had apologized to her siblings, they wouldn't

205
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,839
Speaker 2: have anything to do with her, which breaks her heart.

206
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,080
Speaker 2: Paul said Sarah told him that when I told her

207
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 2: what happened to me, it triggered her because it reminded

208
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,480
Speaker 2: her of her situation with her siblings. I didn't mention

209
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,520
Speaker 2: in the other post because it was irrelevant to what

210
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,320
Speaker 2: I was asking, But Sarah had texted me about letting

211
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,560
Speaker 2: go of the hate links to sites about family members

212
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,600
Speaker 2: with mental health issues, the numbers for family therapists, and

213
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,440
Speaker 2: even subredits on here. He told me Sarah wanted to

214
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 2: meet up to clear the air and apologize about this

215
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 2: in person. I said, okay. Sarah texted about half an

216
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,080
Speaker 2: hour later about collecting me because she wanted to drive

217
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,480
Speaker 2: to a new restaurant that had opened in the next

218
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:37,320
Speaker 2: town over as her pre birthday treat to me. We

219
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,720
Speaker 2: know what she was planning, but Tammy ruined it for her.

220
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,959
Speaker 2: Tammy the stepmother by calling my mom to tell her

221
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,440
Speaker 2: Sarah's plans to help us make up. I wrote my

222
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,040
Speaker 2: dad a letter two days ago. As a lot of

223
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,800
Speaker 2: you suggested, I put everything in there and told him

224
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,400
Speaker 2: how it affects me to this day. I told him

225
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,840
Speaker 2: I wanted a relationship with my brother, but I wasn't

226
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,960
Speaker 2: sure I'll ever want one with him. I told him

227
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,800
Speaker 2: to leave me alone because his actions are only pushing

228
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,600
Speaker 2: me away even more, and if I ever decide I

229
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,560
Speaker 2: want to talk to him, it will be on my

230
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 2: terms with my mom present. The letter ended up being

231
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,360
Speaker 2: five pages long, and you guys were right. It did

232
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,800
Speaker 2: make me feel better. My mom dropped it off that

233
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,520
Speaker 2: day and Dad asked to meet her A day later.

234
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,320
Speaker 2: They talked about me meeting my brother, and my dad

235
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 2: said he wants to buy me a car, no strings attached.

236
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,000
Speaker 2: They Tammy, and Dad also asked if it would be

237
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 2: okay to give me money to get myself something for

238
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,520
Speaker 2: my birthday. You guys are gonna hate me for this,

239
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,160
Speaker 2: but I'm taking the car in five hundred dollars.

240
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,200
Speaker 1: I don't hate you for that.

241
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 4: This is such a seventeen year old Storty.

242
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,600
Speaker 1: You're seventeen.

243
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,280
Speaker 2: You have no idea what you're signing up for by

244
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,800
Speaker 2: cutting your dad out for the rest of your life

245
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,200
Speaker 2: at this point.

246
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, put yourself in your dad's shoes. He was trying

247
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 4: to support everyone at this time. He doesn't mean what

248
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:50,239
Speaker 4: he said.

249
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure he did.

250
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,040
Speaker 2: Oh, he's missing the point about what her dad said

251
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,520
Speaker 2: when he said, I'm sure that there's something that's being

252
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,480
Speaker 2: done that's causing this, you know, him being like, you

253
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,040
Speaker 2: need to fix that or you can't stay here.

254
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 1: And again we're getting this from Opie's perspective.

255
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,040
Speaker 2: But it's like Dad's just trying to get to the

256
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,640
Speaker 2: bottom of this and he assumes that you're starting crap

257
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,320
Speaker 2: and you can't let one assumption ruin your relationship with

258
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 2: your dad for the rest of your life.

259
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I guarantee you the last thing he wanted

260
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,560
Speaker 4: to do was point the finger at his pregnant wife.

261
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,240
Speaker 2: Ease, he can't do that. She's pregnant and you're seventeen

262
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,320
Speaker 2: to rock in a hard place. That's the new version

263
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,680
Speaker 2: of a rock and a hard place, the pregnant wife's

264
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 2: seventeen year old daughter. Okay, if he wants to give

265
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,200
Speaker 2: me more, he can because college supplies and moving into

266
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:37,119
Speaker 2: a dorm are expensive. Now back to Sarah My cousin's girlfriend.

267
00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 2: She basically contacted Tammy, my stepmom via Facebook. Tammy sent

268
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,120
Speaker 2: my mom the screenshots, telling her everything I said, then

269
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,760
Speaker 2: asking Tammy her side because Sarah didn't believe me. To

270
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,320
Speaker 2: Tammy's credit, she told the truth and took full accountability.

271
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,840
Speaker 2: It was Sarah who kept trying to make out that

272
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,960
Speaker 2: Tammy was the victim. Sarah told Tammy about her own

273
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,840
Speaker 2: past and said she tried to mend our relationship. Tammy

274
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,240
Speaker 2: told her that she didn't want her to. The last

275
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 2: message was Sarah telling Tammy the location in time we'd

276
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,520
Speaker 2: be at the restaurant. She even said she'd drive me

277
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,880
Speaker 2: so I couldn't leave, even though I'd just ask a

278
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,400
Speaker 2: waitress for help or to call my mom. My mom

279
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,000
Speaker 2: posted the screenshots in the group chat and called Sarah

280
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 2: a bunch of names.

281
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,080
Speaker 1: You told her if she ever came near me again,

282
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 1: she'd regret it.

283
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,760
Speaker 2: I blocked Sarah and left the group chat, so I

284
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 2: don't know what happened afterward. But Paul came over with

285
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,360
Speaker 2: my aunt and swore he knew nothing about it. To

286
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 2: be honest, I don't know if I believe him, because

287
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,679
Speaker 2: he was trying to defend Sarah again, which got him

288
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,960
Speaker 2: a verbal lashing from my aunt and mom. Oh God forbid.

289
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 2: He tries to defend his girlfriend.

290
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,160
Speaker 4: Who's trying to help you men, your relationship with your

291
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 4: step mom and your death.

292
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,280
Speaker 1: That's it. Really.

293
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,240
Speaker 2: I'm gonna update in a few months to let you

294
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,480
Speaker 2: guys know how everything went with my brother. I feel

295
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,560
Speaker 2: like I owe everyone that after so many people helped

296
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 2: me to take that step, because honestly, words can't describe

297
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,319
Speaker 2: how happy it's made me. Literally the best birthday present

298
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,520
Speaker 2: I could have gotten. Thank you so much for the

299
00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,719
Speaker 2: amazing advice and people sharing their own expres experiences. Even

300
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 2: the woman who suffered from mental illness. Tammy did and

301
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 2: it helped me understand it a bit more. But I

302
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,360
Speaker 2: still can't forgive her. I don't think we can ever

303
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,839
Speaker 2: rebuild our relationship, especially to what it was. There's another update,

304
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 2: let's get right into it.

305
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,360
Speaker 4: One thing. Trying to buy someone's love is not the

306
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 4: way to do it, but I know that's what the

307
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 4: dad was trying to do.

308
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,840
Speaker 2: It might have just been a timing thing where he's like, well,

309
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,640
Speaker 2: damn if my kid doesn't want to speak to me

310
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 2: ever again, I was going to get you a car

311
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,040
Speaker 2: when you were eighteen. I wanted to get you a

312
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,000
Speaker 2: gift for your birth date. It's like, well crap, It's like, okay,

313
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,560
Speaker 2: can am I allowed to do this?

314
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:30,920
Speaker 1: Now?

315
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 2: Not everyone has the fortune to have that be the case,

316
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 2: but when parents can help out like that, a lot

317
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:35,760
Speaker 2: of times.

318
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:36,320
Speaker 1: They want to, you know.

319
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,120
Speaker 2: So it would make sense that he's like, oh, yeah,

320
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,280
Speaker 2: I don't know I was gonna get this as a

321
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 2: graduation thing or that, And it could be very well

322
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,360
Speaker 2: the other way around, because you can't buy love, You're right.

323
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 4: It shows that they still care about Op.

324
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,920
Speaker 2: Exactly, because they're also respecting Ope's boundaries.

325
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:48,280
Speaker 1: Right now.

326
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,200
Speaker 2: Op's being like, I want nothing to do with you

327
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,520
Speaker 2: and anything will ever be the same, And Tammy and

328
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,360
Speaker 2: her dad are just like, all right, that's okay. And

329
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,040
Speaker 2: you know, Sarah's being like, Tammy, come to the restaurant.

330
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,600
Speaker 2: Tammy's like, no, I'm not coming to the restaurant. Sarah's

331
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,520
Speaker 2: got her own trauma that's making her do this, so

332
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,199
Speaker 2: she's not a villain in the story regardless. Anyway, let's

333
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 2: get into this update. Hey guys, as promised, here's the

334
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,040
Speaker 2: final update. Short version.

335
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 1: I turned eighteen three days ago, had a great time,

336
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:13,839
Speaker 1: met my brother.

337
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,679
Speaker 2: Sarah tried to get in contact with me again, and

338
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 2: I've spoken to my father and Tammy. It's easier to

339
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,240
Speaker 2: break everything down Sarah. A day after I made the

340
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 2: last update, my mom booked a holiday for a week

341
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 2: to get away, which was really random and sudden for her.

342
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 2: Three days in, my mom got a notification that someone

343
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,400
Speaker 2: was at our door and it was Sarah. At first,

344
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 2: Sarah was normal, asking my mom to talk to me.

345
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 2: Then she started explaining herself in her situation, which fluctuated

346
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 2: between sad and angry. But suddenly she freaked out, started

347
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 2: calling me names and threatening me while damaging our door

348
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 2: and porch. She even broke the ring camera and was

349
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,200
Speaker 2: extremely scary. I don't blame her siblings for not wanting

350
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,320
Speaker 2: anything to do with her.

351
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,400
Speaker 4: Did we not forget that Sarah has a bipolar condition.

352
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 2: Mental health disorder? I got a mental health agnosis. Why

353
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 2: are we slam duncan on these people who are mentally ill?

354
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 4: I mean, still not great to go to someone's place

355
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,680
Speaker 4: and then switch up and then ruin their porch.

356
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I don't know how old she is,

357
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 2: but you're both young. I had a friend at seventeen

358
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,480
Speaker 2: tackle a police officer on his front porch.

359
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,080
Speaker 1: Guess what.

360
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,040
Speaker 2: Mentally unwell, Sarah was arrested and my mom is definitely

361
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,960
Speaker 2: pressing charges. I don't know much about her situation now,

362
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 2: but I'm not gonna lie. I've been looking over my

363
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,520
Speaker 2: shoulder a lot since. For those wondering, Yeah, her and

364
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 2: my cousin broke up. He's, let's say, shaken up, worse

365
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 2: than me and very apologetic my brother. My birthday went great.

366
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 2: I had such a good time. Honestly, I've got the

367
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 2: best mother and family in the world. He really made

368
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 2: my eighteenth special. I got so many amazing presents, but

369
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 2: my favorite was the sister necklace my brother gave me.

370
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 2: Obviously Dad or Tammy got it, but I finally get

371
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,520
Speaker 2: to be his sister, and that's what I've wanted for

372
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 2: so long. We've spent some time together and I'm seeing

373
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 2: him again tomorrow. He's so extremely he adventurous, never sits

374
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 2: down for a second. He loves Miss Rachel and Green.

375
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,000
Speaker 2: Don't know who those people are. We're gonna keep going.

376
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 2: I found out he and the neighbor's cat will stare

377
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 2: each other down, which I used to do when I

378
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,080
Speaker 2: stayed at Dad's. I could talk for hours about him.

379
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you guys helped me meet him. I

380
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 2: can't thank you enough for that.

381
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 1: Dad. My dad was there the first time I met

382
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 1: my brother. I knew beforehand.

383
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,320
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because it's his child. Obviously, my brother is

384
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 2: a toddler. So we met at dad's siblings aunt's house.

385
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 2: Dad's siblings aunt's house, so his aunt your dad's aunt. Anyway,

386
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 2: I was told he'd stay. Obviously, my brother is a toddler,

387
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 2: so we met at dad's siblings aunt's house.

388
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 1: It's a wild combo.

389
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,800
Speaker 2: I was told he'd stay in the kitchen the whole time.

390
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 2: I caught him peeking at me and my brother a

391
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 2: few times throughout the day, which of course he's gonna

392
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 2: do because he's a human being who's also your father.

393
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 2: When I was leaving, my dad followed me out and

394
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 2: just hugged me. He told me he misses me. I

395
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 2: hugged him back and told him I missed him too.

396
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 1: As you know.

397
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 2: It was the first time I've spoken to him in years.

398
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,520
Speaker 2: He apologized, took accountability. I started angry, crying, then just

399
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 2: let everything out. I told him how they made me

400
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 2: feel my mental health and that I'll love him, but

401
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 2: I'll never forgive him.

402
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 4: Dude, you were right there.

403
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 1: You're right at the finish line. Dog, you were right frickin' there.

404
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 4: You literally had the most heartfelt moment. You know what,

405
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 4: eighteen year old forgiveness will.

406
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 1: Come, eighteen nineteen whatever. Yeah.

407
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 2: I just hope that when you realize that you want

408
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 2: a relationship with your dad and you do forgive him,

409
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 2: that it's not like too late. Those are the most

410
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,680
Speaker 2: tragic events in people's lives. It's just like, what if

411
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,720
Speaker 2: I wish you know, you had it right there, You angry, cried,

412
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 2: you said how it made you feel, and then it's like, dang,

413
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 2: you literally said you missed him over what spilt milk,

414
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 2: over literally a bowl of cereal being.

415
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,359
Speaker 4: Thrown in the trash, and he said something really dumb.

416
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 2: Honestly, statistically, I bet you what he suggested is more

417
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,880
Speaker 2: often than not, exactly what's happening. The seventeen year old

418
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 2: in the situation is instigating in some way. I would

419
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 2: have done that if I was seventeen, I'd be instigating.

420
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 4: But the thing is, that's one of those things where

421
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 4: when we were seventeen, we didn't learn, So I guarantee

422
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 4: you we can't tell Opie how to feel and how

423
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 4: to forgive.

424
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 1: We can't.

425
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 4: It's just up to Opee. It is. This is on

426
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 4: Opee to forgive her father when that time comes.

427
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 2: Your dad's respected your boundaries this whole time. He's just

428
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:13,520
Speaker 2: been waiting.

429
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 4: Tammy too.

430
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:15,919
Speaker 2: He asked me if he could try to make it

431
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,200
Speaker 2: up to me and be a part of my life again.

432
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 2: I said, we can try, but I'm making no promises

433
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,359
Speaker 2: on ever getting back the relationship we once had. Seventeen

434
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 2: we've spoken a few times, and he has helped me

435
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 2: when I needed to bring my large.

436
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 1: Dog home from the vets.

437
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 2: Now to Tammy, you guys are gonna be shocked, but

438
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 2: I was the one who contacted her. I got my

439
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,199
Speaker 2: mom to call her to basically say, Jessica is with me.

440
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,120
Speaker 2: She wants to speak to you. Jessica being o peep.

441
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 2: Tammy was obviously shocked, but agreed. I told her, after

442
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,919
Speaker 2: everything she put me through and how much she hurt me,

443
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 2: that we'd never have a relationship. But I'm willing just

444
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 2: for my brother's sake, not hers or mine, to be civil,

445
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,800
Speaker 2: because I want us to be able to attend my

446
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 2: brother's events without drama seventeen. By the way, you can

447
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 2: listen to full episode with stories just like this, all

448
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,440
Speaker 2: the juicy drama you could ever want in your life.

449
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify or iHeart or Apple Podcasts wherever

450
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 2: you listen to podcasts.

451
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 1: Just search, Okay, storytime.

452
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 4: It's pretty easy.

453
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 1: It's all you have to do.

454
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,639
Speaker 2: It's a two step program. Go to where you listen,

455
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 2: type in the name and that. Technically the third step

456
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 2: would be to hit the search button, and then the

457
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,320
Speaker 2: fourth step would be listening.

458
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,200
Speaker 1: So it's a four step system.

459
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 4: So he lied to you.

460
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 1: I did just a little bit, but I corrected it.

461
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 4: Let's just finish it up.

462
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: Hammy started apologizing and telling me she's not like that anymore.

463
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,719
Speaker 2: She got help, which I'm glad she's doing better. We

464
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: talked about the Sarah situation and my brother for a

465
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 2: few minutes.

466
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 1: The whole call.

467
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 2: Maybe lasted twenty minutes. I've not spoken to her since,

468
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 2: but that was only five days ago.

469
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: So that's it.

470
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 2: Really my last update. I know what people are thinking

471
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 2: about my dad. I've not forgiven him and he will

472
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 2: have to work extremely hard to get back the relationship

473
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: we lost, but I feel better that he's back in

474
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 2: my life, and I do believe both of them regret it.

475
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 2: But if I get any crap or think my brother

476
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 2: isn't being treated well, I will make their lives hell.

477
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 2: Seventeen Thanks so much Reddit for the amazing advice. My

478
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 2: name is Jessica, and I'm praying I'll never have to

479
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 2: make a post on here again.

480
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story.

481
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 4: I give it some time. I think everything's gonna be

482
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,400
Speaker 4: repaired and op, he's gonna realize. Yes, whatever she experienced

483
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 4: wasn't fair to her and wasn't right. But I give

484
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 4: it time. I think everyone here is trying to get

485
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 4: back on the right path and the right relationship. Yeah,

486
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,199
Speaker 4: just some time, some growing. Just let things be and

487
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 4: things will be healed. But that is the end of

488
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 4: that story. My family excluded me from the vacation because

489
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 4: I'm not a woman.

490
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 1: Oh we got man secluded here? Oh boy.

491
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 4: I'm a twenty eight year old male and my immediate

492
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 4: family is all women. Mostly this is because I was

493
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 4: raised by my mother and have no contact with my

494
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 4: father's side of the family due to a messy divorce

495
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 4: when I was young. My two sisters in their early thirties.

496
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,959
Speaker 4: My three aunts, two who are my mother's sisters, and

497
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 4: one married into the family and married my aunt, and

498
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 4: they have an assortment of close friends of all of

499
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 4: the family, all of which are women, that also go

500
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 4: to these events. By the way, this comes from U

501
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 4: zero Throwaway zero two two four one one one one

502
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, submit

503
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 4: them to the rsish ok storytime separating. So, about three

504
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 4: years ago, my mother had an idea to do a

505
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 4: girl's only weekend. Originally this was to see one of

506
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 4: the Magic Wife movies and I remember those, and because

507
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 4: it was such a hit, they started to do these

508
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 4: weekend outings once or twice a month. Originally, it didn't

509
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 4: bother me because I'm an adult and I have my

510
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 4: own life and my own house, and I really didn't

511
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 4: even think about it, oh okay, but an incident recently

512
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 4: made me annoyed at the whole concept. My aunt's birthday

513
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 4: was in January and normally we go to her favorite

514
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 4: restaurant for her birthday, which also incidentally is my favorite restaurant.

515
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 4: So I bought her a present and a card, and

516
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 4: I waited for an invitation and none came okay. When

517
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 4: I asked what was going on for her birthday, I

518
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 4: was told they celebrated it early on their girl's Day

519
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 4: because she was going to be out of state during

520
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 4: her birthday. This kind of irked me because when I

521
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 4: mentioned I bought her a present, my mother told me

522
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 4: to just drive over to her house and give it

523
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 4: to her.

524
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 1: Just really quickly. I've seen literally nothing wrong with this

525
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 1: so far.

526
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 4: I felt pretty left out since I am the only

527
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 4: male in my immediate family. Having a girl's Day is

528
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 4: the equivalent of saying, Hey, let's allwrate my birthday but

529
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 4: not invite OP. That's fair? Was everyone there? If everyone

530
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 4: was there other than OP, which it seems like it

531
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 4: kind of was. I griped about it and was told

532
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 4: that I was basically being self centered and that she

533
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 4: can celebrate her birthday however she wants. I agree with that,

534
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 4: but once again, I'm the only one being left out

535
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 4: and it feels crappy. The proverbrial straw that broke the

536
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 4: Campbell's back was I was just also informed that they

537
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 4: were planning a summer vacation this year as a girl's

538
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 4: only too, And when I asked my mother what about

539
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 4: the vacation we normally take as a family. She told

540
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 4: me that they can't afford to do both, so they

541
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 4: are just doing the girls only vacation this year. At

542
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 4: this point, I was very annoyed and had a loud

543
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 4: argument with my mother and sister, telling them that it's

544
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 4: really crappy that twice a month they have group activities

545
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 4: and specifically exclude me, and on top of that, are

546
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 4: now even taking vacations and guess what excluding me. Nothing

547
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 4: came of the argument and they wouldn't budge. So I

548
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 4: decided I needed a break from my immediate family because

549
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 4: they don't consider my feelings relevant. So I removed myself

550
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 4: from their family group chat and deactivated my Facebook. Now

551
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 4: my phone is being blown up and I'm being told

552
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 4: that I'm immature and I need to grow up.

553
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 2: Okay, so did you inform your family you'd be doing this?

554
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 2: Because if you did this without saying anything to them,

555
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 2: and you essentially ghost blocked all of your family, Yeah,

556
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 2: you are being immature.

557
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 4: You had an argument, a yelling match, and you didn't

558
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 4: win it, and nobody budged, and then your next step is,

559
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 4: all right, I'm just gonna ghost them like you know what,

560
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 4: I lost the argument. I didn't get them to move.

561
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna remove myself from the equation.

562
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: I very much doubt that they don't care about your

563
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 2: feelings at all. I very much do think that the

564
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 2: way your feelings are being presented or shared, or you

565
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 2: know what have you is getting in the way of

566
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 2: actual communication happening.

567
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 4: This would go vice versa if it was guys only,

568
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 4: same thing. It's just not fair. But you need to

569
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 4: let them know how you feel in an appropriate way,

570
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 4: not just yelling at them. I responded that a lot

571
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 4: of grown people don't see much of their family at all,

572
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 4: and I'm just going to follow that example. Am I

573
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 4: the A hole here? And we have a verdict in

574
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 4: some comments. I think the way you went out about

575
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 4: it kind of a holy I think the way they

576
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 4: made you feel and not asking you how you felt

577
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 4: about it rather than just them doing it behind your back,

578
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 4: that was also a wholly on their part. So I

579
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 4: think right now everyone kind of just sucks. Verdict not

580
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 4: the A hole. We have some relevant comments. This comment

581
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 4: has been downloaded, though this one says you are the ahle.

582
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 4: I initially thought, no a holes here, because it's natural

583
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 4: don't want to be included in family events. But instead

584
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 4: of having a calm discussion with our family about how

585
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 4: you were feeling left out, you had a loud argument

586
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 4: and assume that their girls' day events were created to

587
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 4: exclude you. And now you're throwing a tantruma but removing

588
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 4: yourself from the group chat and Facebook. Grow up. I

589
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 4: understand feeling left out, but your reaction was completely unreasonable.

590
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 4: That's a comment. This is op's response. It's interesting that

591
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 4: you're reading into the fact that it became a loud

592
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 4: argument that it was my fault. I didn't get loud.

593
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 4: They did. But I'm not going to be yelled at

594
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 4: and called a child and just walk away. It seems

595
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 4: like you are reading the worst intentions into my actions

596
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 4: but excusing theirs.

597
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 2: Of course, it reads like you got loud because you're

598
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 2: the one being stiffed in this.

599
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 4: Situation, and you also put it as loud argument. We

600
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 4: have another downloaded comment.

601
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: You are the hill.

602
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 4: Are none of these sisters or aunts married, because if

603
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 4: any are, then you are not the only male excluded.

604
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: You are a grown but man acting like a child.

605
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 4: The vacation one. I kind of understand being upset but

606
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 4: otherwise you are overreacting, op says. My mother is single,

607
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 4: my hona single, my other is a sapphic and has

608
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 4: a wife. My sisters are single. One of them is

609
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 4: casually dating, but not official. These are the people I

610
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,239
Speaker 4: am closest to, and it is literally a matter of

611
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: all my immediate family are doing something fun a couple

612
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 4: of times a month, and due to my gender, I

613
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 4: am excluded.

614
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: That does suck.

615
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,239
Speaker 4: I mean, here's a question before we get into this.

616
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 4: Are you guys doing other things as a family. If

617
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 4: this is literally the only family events that they are

618
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 4: doing and you are being excluded from all the family events,

619
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 4: I get it, but I don't have that context of

620
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 4: are you being included in family dinners? Are you doing this?

621
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 4: Are you guys going out to movies whatever your family does?

622
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: If that's the only fun stuff y'all do every month.

623
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: If they're getting the two girls' nights and you're getting zero.

624
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 4: They are excluding you. But again, we don't have that information.

625
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 4: If that's the only thing you guys are doing, how

626
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 4: is that cool? The last time I did anything with

627
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 4: my family together as a group was Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, I

628
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 4: read all day in the family group chat about how

629
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 4: fun it was to go to the zoo and how

630
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 4: they just love that restaurant they went to last weekend, etc.

631
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 4: According to you, I shouldn't feel doubt, And am I

632
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: overreacting for feeling that way? So now this makes a

633
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 4: little bit more sense. Yes, you can have girls days

634
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 4: and go to the zoo and do everything like that.

635
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 4: I get it, But they should have asked you. I

636
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 4: feel like they shouldn't include you in asking, Hey, we're

637
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 4: going to the zoo this weekend. Do you want to

638
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 4: go to the zoo?

639
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 2: My sneaking suspicion is that the girls' night tradition has

640
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: been going on for a hot minute and Op never

641
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: voiced any real concern or upsetness about it for long

642
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: duration and is now realizing, Hey, I do feel some

643
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: kind of way about this, And now the debt of

644
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: all of those weekends and all those events that he

645
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: didn't get to participate in has turned him maybe a

646
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: little bitter about it. And it's not coming from a

647
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 2: places like you. Guys know, I like you right, Like

648
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: you don't have to just have girls' weekends so that

649
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 2: you don't see me because I do like you, Guys like.

650
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 4: I like the zoo. I like food.

651
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: I like food and the zoo.

652
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 4: Again, yes, girls and guys can do whatever they want,

653
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 4: but if you're not including one family member because of

654
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 4: their gender on like every other weekend, it seems to

655
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 4: stack up and I would get better.

656
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,719
Speaker 2: The flip side of this is that actually, like OPI's right,

657
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 2: and they are literally just excluding him because he's the

658
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,959
Speaker 2: only guy in the family. If that is the case, like,

659
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: once you've determined that, you take that information and you know,

660
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 2: you compute it and you process it, and then.

661
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: You do what you've already been doing, which is just

662
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: like live your own life.

663
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 2: Man.

664
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 4: You know what I would have done. I would have

665
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 4: texted the gripsad. I'm like, hey, guys, next girls Night

666
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 4: or Girl's Day, whatever you guys are doing, kid, I come,

667
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 4: I would like to be a part of it. We

668
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: have a deleted comment. Family vacations can be great and

669
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 4: it can hurt to not be included, but we are

670
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 4: not entitled to it. But that's just the thing. Ever

671
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 4: since I was a kid, these vacations were family vacations.

672
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 4: We rented out the same beach house, we spent time

673
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 4: together for a week and bonded. And now I'm being told, oh,

674
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 4: we're still doing the same thing. You just can't come question.

675
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 4: Have you ever attempted to host or organize a get

676
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 4: together with your family? Opie says absolutely. I have get

677
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 4: togethers with them, my mother and my sisters probably once

678
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 4: every two to three months, and always at my invitation

679
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 4: when their schedules permit, which they often don't. My issue

680
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 4: is that the invitations never come the other direction. It

681
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 4: seems like all their spare time is now girls only

682
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 4: and they are busy otherwise. And this is the comment.

683
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 4: And of course, if this really hurts you, there's an appropriate,

684
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 4: calm and respectful way to bring it up to your family.

685
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 4: But your current reactions, such as having a screaming match

686
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 4: loud argument with your family, is not it.

687
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,719
Speaker 2: Before he even responds, I'm putting this out there. It

688
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 2: takes two sides to have a screaming match, So I

689
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 2: don't want to hear op being like, I didn't even

690
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 2: start yelling. It's like, well, if you started yelling, it

691
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 2: doesn't matter when it happened. Now you're yelling, Opie says,

692
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 2: my conversation was calm and respectful until my sisters and

693
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 2: mother ganged up on me. And told me I was

694
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 2: being an a hole for having a problem with being excluded.

695
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 2: I only got loud, So yeah, you got loud. I

696
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: only got loud when they got loud. When someone yells

697
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: at you, do you immediately walk away or do you

698
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: defend yourself?

699
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: I will tell you the best to do.

700
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 2: If you're in a discussion with somebody and then they

701
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: get really loud, you go.

702
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: Hey, whoa, what just happened.

703
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: I was having a civil conversation with you. I was

704
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 4: telling you my point of view, and now you're getting

705
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 4: a little riled up because you don't understand my opinion.

706
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 2: Don't feed your intensity or your emotions back into it.

707
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: Just go whoa, Hey, what happened?

708
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: We were having a talk and it takes them completely

709
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 2: out of that moment, and then you know, productive.

710
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,719
Speaker 4: Dialogue can happen. Another comment, not the ahole. Maybe if

711
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 4: you weren't the only male in the family, I could

712
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 4: see their position, But like you said, it feels like

713
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 4: you're personally being excluded. The vacation really crosses the line.

714
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 4: It makes me wonder about your relationship with them. Have

715
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 4: you been close prior to all this? And this girl's

716
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 4: day thing just got out of control, or have there

717
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 4: been conflicts before and they are handling it immaturely. Yelling

718
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 4: at them won't change their minds, and to be honest,

719
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 4: I'm not sure what will, but try to be calm

720
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 4: and responsibly explain how they're making you feel and why

721
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 4: logically there is no need to have a girl's only

722
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 4: vacation or birthday celebrations when that just means excluding you.

723
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 4: I'm not totally again to them doing their girls' day sometimes,

724
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 4: but it doesn't seem like they're taking you into account

725
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 4: at all. Opie says, I'm very conflict free and low

726
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 4: maintenance as a person in general. My mother and sisters

727
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 4: always tell me that if I get any more laid back,

728
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 4: I'll be laying down.

729
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 2: Do they just think you're boring? Oh no, what if

730
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 2: they just think Opie's boring?

731
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 4: Opie's just a chill guy. But again, they're thinking that

732
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 4: they're assuming, they are not asking, hey, do you want

733
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 4: to be included?

734
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 2: I'm kind of a coin flip between every woman sucks

735
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 2: here and no a holes here.

736
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: I think I'm right on the line. I can't tell

737
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 1: which one it is.

738
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 4: Though this argument with them was actually extremely out of character.

739
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 4: My sisters and mother, on the other hand, always have

740
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 4: drama with each other, and despite their drama, they always

741
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 4: seem to patch it up and still do things together.

742
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 4: I feel like the only person who is in causing

743
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 4: drama is me, and I'm also the only person not invited.

744
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if I explained correctly, but these events

745
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 4: happen multiple times a month, and at this point, the

746
00:31:54,480 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 4: only time I've ever included in celebrations in events is holidays.

747
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 4: Also to if we are close, I feel like we're

748
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 4: about as close as is abnormal. I wouldn't say I

749
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 4: confide to my mother's or sisters greatly, mostly because they

750
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 4: are kind of gossips and if you tell one, suddenly

751
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 4: the whole family will be discussing your issues. That's probably

752
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 4: also why you don't want to spill the tea or

753
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 4: listen to the tea or sip that tea. And that's okay,

754
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 4: but I feel like those girls' nights, that's a time

755
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 4: for them to like let it all out.

756
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: So they'd be doing stuff you wouldn't even want to

757
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: do anyway.

758
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 4: But again, still tell them that you feel excluded. But

759
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 4: you should tell this not to only your sisters and

760
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 4: your mom, but your entire immediate family.

761
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say probably write a letter.

762
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 2: Probably tell everybody, but not at the same time so

763
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 2: they can't gang up on you or like, so it

764
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 2: doesn't become contentious. Write them letters so you can get

765
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: all your thoughts clearly stated without emotion taking over.

766
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 4: All you have to say is I don't feel like

767
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 4: we're as close as we used to be, and I

768
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 4: want to be in your lives as much as you

769
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 4: probably want me.

770
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: All you have to do is say I want to

771
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: be close to you.

772
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 4: I don't think I've done anything to cause but I'll

773
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 4: think about it and see if I can remember anything.

774
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 4: And then here's another comment. So then they think you

775
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 4: are a pushover. Anyways, You're not the a hole. What

776
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 4: kind of family isolates one member like that? Opie says.

777
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 4: The funny thing is I got a significant raise in

778
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 4: the last few years, and I make a good deal

779
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 4: more money than my mom and sisters due to my

780
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 4: profession having high earning potential. I was going to pay

781
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 4: for the beach rental this year as a treat. If

782
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 4: I'm not invited, I'm definitely not paying. I guess I'll

783
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 4: find somewhere I want to go and see if one

784
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 4: of my buddies wants to come along and we do

785
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 4: have an update, and we're going to jump right into it.

786
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 4: This last month has been kind of wild for me,

787
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 4: so I haven't had an opportunity to update this until now.

788
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 4: The descriptions of my family and my family situation in

789
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 4: this thread were specific enough that one of my family

790
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 4: members found out about it and confronted me.

791
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 1: I want to see, I want to know.

792
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 4: Due to the fact that I had deactivated my Facebook

793
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 4: and was only receiving their text messages, I didn't realize

794
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 4: what was happening before I was ambushed by it. My

795
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 4: sister oldest confronted me about it and asked if it

796
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 4: was me who made the thread, and I confirmed that

797
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 4: it was. She insisted I was being crappy for airing

798
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: the family's laundry like that. I responded that I in

799
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 4: no way did that, as I was speaking very generally

800
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 4: and never identified who my family was.

801
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 2: The sister literally doesn't even know what airing your dirty

802
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 2: laundry is. She's like, I can't believe you would post

803
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 2: our family business anonymously with all of our names changed

804
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 2: and enough details lacking that no one except the people

805
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 2: directly involved could know what it was.

806
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: He's not airing your dirty laundry. He's trying to get information.

807
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 4: He's trying to get people to give him advice when

808
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 4: you know you guys had allowed argument and didn't want

809
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 4: to actually talk to him.

810
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: I'm on OP side. Now the ladies are once being

811
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: a holes. Ladies just got it out for OP.

812
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 4: Let's keep reading. This spread to my family and now

813
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 4: the thread was shared on Facebook and everyone was shown.

814
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 4: I was invited to a family meeting. We never have

815
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 4: those in her invention time where I was sat in

816
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 4: front of a firing squad of angry women who told

817
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 4: me that what I did was wrong. In demanded an apology.

818
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 4: They said that I knew they weren't excluding me, and

819
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 4: because I gave everyone that impression, I owed them an apology.

820
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 4: I replied that I absolutely did not know they were

821
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,439
Speaker 4: not excluding me. Included examples of things that they did,

822
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 4: such as the birthday dinner, going into an amusement park,

823
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 4: and going to a baseball game. Once again, they characterize

824
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 4: this as girls' only events of fun where boys just

825
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 4: weren't allowed or welcome because they wanted to talk about

826
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 4: things guys wouldn't be interested in.

827
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: All right, dude, I'll hang out like over there. Just

828
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 1: bring me. I'll be off to the side.

829
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 4: Sometimes I like to talk about t too, you know.

830
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 4: I replied that she needs to stop saying guys because

831
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 4: there's only one guy who to have been invited, and

832
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 4: that's me. So what she's really saying is it's a

833
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 4: nop event, not a girl's only event. They explained that

834
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 4: it wasn't excluding me because regardless of whether I was

835
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 4: interested in the event, the conversation would have bored me

836
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 4: because I'm not a girl. At this point, we were

837
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 4: going around in circles. So I just explained my perspective.

838
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 4: I said that I'm the only male in our immediate family,

839
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 4: and when the people in my immediate family get together

840
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 4: on a regular basis, not a one off or once

841
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 4: in a while, and don't include me, regardless of what

842
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 4: they called it, I you'll excluded.

843
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: Okay. So that is totally fair and valid. All this

844
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: is fair and valid.

845
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 2: However, the communication panel or the communication channel we are

846
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 2: taking is not effective. We are going in circles, So

847
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: how do we address this? Do you know how we

848
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 2: would address this?

849
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: Keon?

850
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 4: I want to hang out with my family.

851
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 2: Yes, don't make it like a You're doing all of

852
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 2: this stuff and it makes me feel a certain way.

853
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 2: Just skip all that and go I like you guys.

854
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: I want to spend more time with you. Can I

855
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:45,720
Speaker 1: come on the trips.

856
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 4: I explained that the breaking point was the family vacation,

857
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 4: and that there was absolutely no reason to leave me

858
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 4: out of a vacation I was always invited to, particularly

859
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 4: when that's the only family vacation we do, and they've

860
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 4: stated they cannot afford a second one.

861
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 1: We're finding who cares and who does it.

862
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,439
Speaker 4: At the end of this family meeting, I was never

863
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 4: given an apology. No one tried to empathize with my perspective,

864
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 4: and I was accused of many things that I didn't

865
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 4: do by any reasonable interpretation. I told my mother and

866
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 4: my sisters that we had reached a breaking point in

867
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 4: our relationship and that I was going no contact for

868
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 4: a while. I told them I'm an adult and I

869
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 4: have my own life, and the reason I wanted to

870
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 4: be involved was because I didn't want one of those

871
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,880
Speaker 4: family relationships where you only see your family at holidays.

872
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 4: Bear if that's not what my family wants, then it's okay.

873
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 4: But I told them that I was not going to

874
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: be involved with people who made me feel crappy and

875
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 4: attentionally left me on the outside looking in of my

876
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 4: own family. And by the way, you can look in

877
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 4: outs around with us every single day and listen to

878
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 4: full episodes with stories just like this. You can go

879
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 4: to Spotify, Apple Podcast, iHeartRadio, wherever your favorite podcast app

880
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,919
Speaker 4: is and search. Okay, storytime, that's right. There's a little

881
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 4: bit more of this story, but I think we've set

882
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 4: our pe and you kind of said it at the end.

883
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 4: I just want to spend time with my family rather

884
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 4: than see you at Christmas and Thanksgiving.

885
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: Now that we've gotten to the tail end of this,

886
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: I'm doubting more and more whether even if OPI had

887
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 2: a perfect communication style, whether or not it would have

888
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: done anything. I really feel like, for some reason, the

889
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 2: women in your family have just decided to completely ostracize you.

890
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 4: That's crazy that they just assumed these are girls only

891
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 4: activities and we can, you know, do all these fun

892
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 4: things without him because he's gonna be bored. Let's finish

893
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 4: the story off. My mother and sisters told me that

894
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 4: if I was going to lie about them to everyone,

895
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 4: they don't care. It seems like they care. At this point,

896
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 4: my relationship with my family is over. I left that

897
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 4: family meeting and have not reactivated my Facebook, have not

898
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 4: received any contact, and have not initiated any contact. Okay, seta,

899
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 4: seta is that it is what it is. Pretty much,

900
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 4: it is what it is at.

901
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: This point, though, He's right, it's like it is what

902
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 1: it is. I said that earlier in the story.

903
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 2: If you come to the conclusion that you really are

904
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 2: being excluded on purpose for all of this stuff, then

905
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 2: you just have to like move on with your life

906
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 2: and move forward with that knowledge and that information and

907
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 2: live your life.

908
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 4: Just hang out with your buddies and go do boys things.

909
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 4: That's the end of our story.

910
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.

911
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break with Asthramur sponsors.

912
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 3: My cousin made rude comments about my culture, so I

913
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 3: completely cut her off.

914
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 5: Why you gotta be so rude?

915
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 3: I Female fifty eight have not been in contact with

916
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 3: my cousin, Female sixty since October last year, and I

917
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 3: feel guilty, even though my close family says it's the

918
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 3: right thing to do. I feel bad for not being

919
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: a friend, since I don't think she has many. The

920
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 3: only exception for the no contact is when she turned

921
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 3: sixty and I called her to congratulate her, but I

922
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 3: didn't send any gifts. By the way, this comes from

923
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 3: similar Refuse ninety one thirty three. If you want submit

924
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 3: to your own stories, go to our slash okay story

925
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,280
Speaker 3: times up right, it's up. When we were little, I

926
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 3: was a lonely child and her mom used to work

927
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 3: a lot, so she came to live with us for

928
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 3: weeks on and every summer. She was with us so

929
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 3: much it was sort of a sister to me. Looking back,

930
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 3: she was a bully, but she can also be very

931
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: charming and fun. I believe even mom and Dad were

932
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 3: a bit scared of her when she was in a

933
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 3: bad mood. She also drove away the only friend I

934
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 3: had in my neighborhood by being extremely rude when said

935
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 3: friend came to play. I still remember that day and

936
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 3: how I stood in silence, too scared to say anything.

937
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 3: I think I was seventh. My friend left and never

938
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: came back. I'm still ashamed for not defending her. I

939
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 3: was told by my parents to be kind to my

940
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 3: cousin since she was a guest, so I put up

941
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 3: with a lot, but one day I had enough and

942
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 3: locked her in her room. I got such a scolding

943
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 3: for that that I have never seen the key to

944
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 3: that room since that was the only time I indicated

945
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 3: something was not right. I was very shy in an

946
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 3: extremely well behaved hit. As we grew up, we continued

947
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 3: to do things together. She came with us on family trips,

948
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 3: and when we went to the same university, she tried

949
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 3: to control who my friends were. That is the first

950
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 3: time I decided to not contact her but be civil

951
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 3: and kind if she called. This went on for a

952
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 3: few years, but when we started working in adult life started,

953
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 3: I went back to normal contact. She was also not

954
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 3: as controlling As the years passed. We had our ups

955
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: and downs, really fun time but also her treating.

956
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 5: Me like dirt.

957
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 6: I just don't know if the extreams are worth it,

958
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 6: like if the fun times are worth being treated like.

959
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 3: Dir, dirt or scum like when she first had her

960
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 3: first child. After she got home from the hospital, I

961
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 3: asked her she wanted me to visit her to see

962
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 3: her newborn, and she said yes, as this was a

963
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 3: huge occasion in her life. I dropped everything and took

964
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 3: the train. It was a four hour trip, and when

965
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 3: I arrived in her city, I called to ask which

966
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: bus I should take to her house, But then she

967
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 3: said she had changed her mind and didn't think it

968
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 3: was safe for the baby to see other people. I

969
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 3: didn't have children on my own, and then so I

970
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 3: didn't know what to say. I guess she could have

971
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 3: given me a place to stay for the night. At

972
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 3: least I could have kept away from her and the

973
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 3: child the last train had left.

974
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 5: Oh why would you stay friends with this person? She

975
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 5: abandoned you in a city.

976
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 3: And I was alone in a strange city with nowhere

977
00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 3: to go. That's crazy, That's that's bonkers. I started looking

978
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 3: for a hostel to find a cheap room. However, fate

979
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 3: would have it that I called a friend who I

980
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 3: knew was going on a weekend cruise departing from the

981
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: same city, to get some sympathy and maybe advice. The

982
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 3: ship hadn't left yet, and she immediately contacted the organizer

983
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: as she was there as a musician, and lo and behold,

984
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 3: one of the organizers recognized me from a jazz festival

985
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 3: where I played.

986
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: It so that I could tag along.

987
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 3: So op just happens to play sick jazz music and

988
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 3: gets to go on the cruise.

989
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: Okay, but like that's.

990
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 6: Really awesome story. You're like, yeah, this friend that you know,

991
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 6: it's not great. I was supposed to be visiting them

992
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 6: and then they told me to like that I couldn't come,

993
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 6: but I was already in the.

994
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 5: City and I didn't know where.

995
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,399
Speaker 1: To stay on the base. Yeah for the saxophone.

996
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 5: I literally just like found this random jazz.

997
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: Band, random traveling troop, and they took me in.

998
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 5: And then I stayed with them for months.

999
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1000
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 3: Now I live with a traveling jazz band. So from

1001
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 3: standing all alone in the rain in tears, don't know

1002
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 3: if it rained, but it sure felt like it, I

1003
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 3: ended up having a blast on a cruise ship for

1004
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 3: two days. It's fun for free. This also meant I

1005
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 3: forgave my cousin. I mean it was sort of because

1006
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 3: of her. I had such a lovely.

1007
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 5: Time in a roundabout way.

1008
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 3: It's super roundabout. No, it's because of your cool friend,

1009
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 3: not her. Years went on and she had a divorce.

1010
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 3: We met soon after and had a long talk. She

1011
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 3: said she realized she hadn't always been nice to me

1012
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 3: and asked me to forgive her for everything. I was

1013
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 3: in tears and happily forgave her. It was a huge relief,

1014
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 3: and I was so happy we could finally be the

1015
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: loving sisters that we were supposed to be since childhood.

1016
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,479
Speaker 3: She really had changed. She was considerate in a new way.

1017
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 3: She'd always brought me gifts and been a fun companion,

1018
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 3: but what I craved was just her kindness, and now

1019
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 3: I had it. I've always felt responsible for her, and

1020
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 3: I've been very happy for her success in life. She

1021
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 3: has a great job as well off and also intelligent, funny,

1022
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 3: and good looking, but she has only one brother and

1023
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 3: very few friends. She can be very judgmental, and she

1024
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,959
Speaker 3: can say bad things about others, so she drives people away.

1025
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 3: She has many good sides. She's charming and generous. Do

1026
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 3: you wanted to go to a luxury resort to celebrate

1027
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 3: and invited my husband and me. We couldn't afford it,

1028
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 3: so he offered to pay okay, five thousand dollars, but

1029
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 3: as we couldn't afford the other half, we had declined,

1030
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's ten thousand dollars for the resort,

1031
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: and she offered to pay half and now to what

1032
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 3: happened six months ago. I was inner City for work

1033
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 3: and my daughter was with me. We had a very

1034
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 3: exclusive invitation to a show with several performers from an

1035
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 3: indigenous people I belonged to. As I felt I had

1036
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 3: neglected my cousin and not had time to do things

1037
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 3: with her, I asked my daughter if I could have

1038
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 3: her ticket and she was okay with that. I have

1039
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 3: the heritage on both sides, but my cousin has it

1040
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 3: on her mother's side, so she is not a total outsider.

1041
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 3: My heritage is a huge thing for me and my children,

1042
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 3: so this show is a big treat. My cousin happily

1043
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: accepted the offer to join me and sounded really enthusiastic.

1044
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 3: But I was in for a shock as the show started.

1045
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 3: Most of the presentation between the acts was in the

1046
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: indigenous language. I whispered a translation in my cousin's ear,

1047
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 3: as she doesn't speak any of it. It was a

1048
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,240
Speaker 3: lovely show with music, dancing, reciting, and it took place

1049
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 3: in a small and theater. To my horror, my cousin

1050
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 3: suddenly started talking to me in a voice that was

1051
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 3: not hushed. She started criticizing the performances and asking where

1052
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,479
Speaker 3: the women were since the first acts were all male

1053
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 3: and a snare. He said, it looked as if those

1054
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 3: indigenous people needed some me too.

1055
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 1: What that's not even funny. I don't even know what

1056
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:20,720
Speaker 1: that means.

1057
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 6: I think she's saying, like, oh, actually, I don't even

1058
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 6: know what she's saying. I can't tell if she's saying

1059
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 6: like they look goffling or if there's just not enough

1060
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 6: women there.

1061
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 3: I feel like there, I feel like the like it's like, oh,

1062
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 3: like they're abusers.

1063
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 1: They look look abusy.

1064
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 5: Who is this woman?

1065
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: I told her that there were several women performers, and

1066
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,959
Speaker 3: then actually the most famous ones were women, and told

1067
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,479
Speaker 3: her that probably they wouldn't come to such a small

1068
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 3: gathering since they were well established and didn't have the time.

1069
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 3: I had hoped to be able to mingle during the

1070
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 3: interval and get to know some new friends, but instead

1071
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 3: I sat down with my cousin and a corner and

1072
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 3: diplomatically asked her about the show and also about what

1073
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 3: she actually thought about our heritage. I didn't want to

1074
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,720
Speaker 3: confront her in ruin the evening totally, as I guess

1075
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,440
Speaker 3: I am a bit afraid of her.

1076
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 1: Temper.

1077
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 3: But I find out she did not feel any connection

1078
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 3: with my people, which is fine, but I do think

1079
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 3: she should respect others. Uh yeah, I don't know.

1080
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 5: That seems a bit crazy.

1081
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, that's a bit of little bit too much.

1082
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 3: I mean, you can't respect others. I mean there's too

1083
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 3: many people to respect.

1084
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 5: I respect myself.

1085
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 3: I also asked her not to say stuff out loud

1086
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 3: in the theater like that, since it certainly could be

1087
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 3: heard by a lot of the other people and it

1088
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 3: was hurtful. The second act started with that very famous

1089
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,439
Speaker 3: artist I had mentioned. It was amazing, she was so good. Unfortunately,

1090
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 3: my cousin said, so finally we get to see the

1091
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 3: A class performers. Friend no more just cousin, no friend,

1092
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,919
Speaker 3: you maybe once were friend and cousin I said something

1093
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 3: about every act being awesome, but she did keep quiet

1094
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 3: the rest of the time, but I was sitting on needles,

1095
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: afraid of what she was going to say. We quickly

1096
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 3: left afterwards, and I was so ashamed. The next day

1097
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 3: I happened on a person that had sat in front

1098
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 3: of us, and I apologized for my cousin's behavior. I

1099
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 3: felt responsible for bringing her to this unique event that

1100
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 3: should have been a safe place for everyone. I am

1101
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 3: so sad that I wasted all that on my cousin.

1102
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 3: My daughter would have loved it. In hindsight, I realized

1103
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 3: that this show was a once in a lifetime thing.

1104
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,240
Speaker 3: It was only that night and it will not happen again.

1105
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 3: By the way, luckily, this show is not a once

1106
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 3: in a lifetime thing. It happens every day, but feels

1107
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 3: once in a lifetime because.

1108
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 5: You're never going to get back these jokes.

1109
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 3: You're never gonna get back these jokes, specially if you

1110
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 3: come in live. So go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1111
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 3: your favorite pod as app and search. Okay, storytime, there's

1112
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 3: another relevant update. But let's discuss. Should this cousin remain

1113
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 3: a friend or should it be banished to just cousin?

1114
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: This banish, banish him, I banish you, cousin.

1115
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 3: This person does not deserve as high a place in

1116
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 3: your life as you have.

1117
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 6: I just don't understand why we invited her to this

1118
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 6: event at all. You know, like the daughter was already

1119
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 6: ready to go, daughter had the ticket, and then we

1120
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 6: decided last minute to invite it.

1121
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 1: So she wanted to because you spend time.

1122
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 4: I don't.

1123
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I say, banish this person from your life. All in,

1124
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: I ay the eyes of it.

1125
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 3: Well, I still feel extremely hurt, and people around me

1126
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 3: have said that my cousin has shown she does not

1127
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 3: wish me well. I also feel like such a pushover.

1128
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 3: I should have asked her to leave. Instead, I have

1129
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 3: just stopped contacting her. I don't want to confront her

1130
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: because this was the final straw. I don't think I

1131
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 3: will ever trust her again, and also I really don't

1132
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 3: want the drama. I still feel bad, though, as if

1133
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,919
Speaker 3: I did something wrong. So am I the a hole

1134
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 3: for saying nothing and just dropping horror? Or am I

1135
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,720
Speaker 3: perhaps the a hole for not standing up for myself anything?

1136
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 3: You're the a hole for yourself, yourself, respect yourself.

1137
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 6: We ended our friendship six years ago, but I'm still

1138
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 6: mad about it.

1139
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe you should be.

1140
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 6: Am I the ale for still being angry over a

1141
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 6: friendship breakup from six years ago? A friendship lasted one month.

1142
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 6: Some backstory. My boyfriend and I started dating around seven

1143
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 6: years ago. Prior to this, he was vibing with this

1144
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 6: girl let's.

1145
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 5: Call her Katie.

1146
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 6: So Katie expressed feeling sam that she just wanted up

1147
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 6: a relationship with him. Nothing romantic. By the way, this

1148
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 6: comes from Tiasha eleven o eight on the r slash

1149
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 6: Okay story Time severad It. At this time, my boyfriend

1150
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 6: was seventeen. A few weeks later we started dating. Being immature,

1151
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 6: I saw her tag him in a Facebook post and

1152
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 6: called her out on it. She spore at me and

1153
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 6: blocked me. A year later, she created a new Facebook

1154
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 6: and added me on it my boyfriend as well. I

1155
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 6: was thrown off as I thought she hated me. I

1156
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 6: had done some introspection and realized I was wrong for

1157
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 6: calling her out. Realization of my boyfriend can have female friends.

1158
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 6: That's not me, YadA, YadA. I messaged her and apologized.

1159
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 5: For my behavior.

1160
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 6: We exchanged numbers and got to talk. I found out

1161
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 6: that she was actually quite chill and we got along nicely.

1162
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 6: Katie comes from a wealthy family and didn't hesitate to

1163
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 6: hide that fact. However, she had major family issues which

1164
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,439
Speaker 6: she would mention on surface level and not divulgent. One night,

1165
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 6: she was telling me about how she likes to draw

1166
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 6: attention to herself, so I was like, cool, You're an

1167
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 6: attention seeker. She got pissed and blocked me. A year later,

1168
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 6: I find out she had messaged my boyfriend around like

1169
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 6: one am Krat went down with her dad and a pair.

1170
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 6: She always reached out to boyfriend When stuff like that happened,

1171
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 6: she sends him an Instagram request. I messaged her because

1172
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 6: I felt that that was not cool. I was still blocked.

1173
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 6: But she messages my boyfriend being naive. We started talking again.

1174
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 6: This time we're like a house on fire. However, I

1175
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 6: felt like me being in a good relationship and her

1176
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 6: not being in any relationship made her jealous.

1177
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was completely alone. No one would ever like her.

1178
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 6: I was in a really good relationship and she was alone,

1179
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 6: So I thought she was kind of like.

1180
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:29,240
Speaker 1: I'm kind of better.

1181
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know what that means, but

1182
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 3: it's like me you.

1183
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 6: She would start comparing ourselves to each other. I did

1184
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 6: not like that, especially since we come from different backgrounds.

1185
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 6: Then one day she said that she found people who

1186
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 6: kissed their s o or held hands in public, especially

1187
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 6: in front of older people, cheap. We're Indians, so those

1188
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:49,240
Speaker 6: are her cultural views. I made my disagreement very apparent.

1189
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 6: The next day she apologized and said those aren't even

1190
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 6: her views. I was very confused about that, but continued

1191
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 6: being friends with her because we got along well.

1192
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 3: No, no, she was very jealous of this boyfriend that

1193
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 3: she rejected. As a reminder platonic, I did.

1194
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 6: Not have any other close friends, so you could say

1195
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 6: I was kind of desperate at the time. She had

1196
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 6: another best friend. I say another because she would also

1197
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 6: call me her best friend. The thing is she would

1198
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 6: trash talk this girl, let's call her Tatum. So Katie

1199
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 6: would trash talk Tatum, but she would also status her,

1200
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 6: calling her best friend and thing all the wonderful things

1201
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 6: that Tatum is as a person. Meanwhile, she would be

1202
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 6: sending me screenshots describing Tatum as a being a bad friend.

1203
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 6: Katie also had a crush on this guy, let's call

1204
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 6: him Dexter. The relationship that Katie had with Dexter reminded

1205
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 6: me of the one she had with my boyfriend. Oh,

1206
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 6: I forgot a part after my boyfriend and I started

1207
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 6: to date, she messaged him about how replaceable she felt

1208
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 6: and how he didn't even fight for her. My conclusion

1209
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 6: is that she still had feelings for him anyway. She

1210
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 6: did the same thing with Dexter. He loved her, wanted

1211
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 6: to pursue her, but she didn't want that.

1212
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 5: He moved on.

1213
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 6: She complained about it and how she could have dated

1214
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 6: someone else, but she pined for him, YadA, YadA. The

1215
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 6: breaking point this time was that she would constantly act

1216
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 6: like she knew my boyfriend better than me, just because

1217
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 6: she knew him first. I expressed that we stopped talking

1218
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 6: for a while. She messaged out of the blue, ignoring

1219
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 6: everything that happened. I told her I had already deleted

1220
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 6: her number. We stopped talking on Facebook. Tatum and her

1221
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 6: would share memes and make fun of me. She shared

1222
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 6: stuff that I told her in confidence, one being that

1223
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 6: she would always be buying clothes and send me pictures

1224
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 6: of it. I expressed that I feel bad because I

1225
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 6: can't do the same because I'm still in college. So

1226
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 6: a meme and a caption regarding that was shared. When

1227
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 6: I played the same game, I got blocked. My fault

1228
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,919
Speaker 6: is that, if you remember, at the beginning, I said

1229
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 6: that I was desperate for a friendship like this, I

1230
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 6: messaged her on Snapchat. We still had each other on there.

1231
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 6: She was cold, rightfully, so I recognized my desperateness and

1232
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 6: moved on. A year later, Yeah, everything happens a year later,

1233
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 6: it was the vid. I was studying from home, too

1234
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 6: much time on my hand, and I started thinking about

1235
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 6: all of this and had messaged her via Instagram, spoke

1236
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 6: truthfully about how our friendship had made me feel and

1237
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 6: wished for her safety drink. She sent a message back

1238
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 6: and I I was blocked. She started studying the same,

1239
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 6: blocking everywhedow and will. Scrolling through Facebook, one day, we

1240
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 6: saw that she had asked to buy secondhand textbooks on

1241
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 6: a group that he was on.

1242
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 5: I told him to.

1243
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 6: Offer his to her. He had messaged, and the chat

1244
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 6: was pretty chill. Prior to this, we had seen her

1245
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 6: at a morning market. She hadn't confronted us about anything,

1246
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,319
Speaker 6: which was so strange anyway. He had asked if it

1247
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 6: was in fact her, and she said yes, it was,

1248
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 6: and that she had seen us too.

1249
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 5: She ended the conversation.

1250
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 6: Very abruptly, saying that regarding her and my past, she's weary.

1251
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 6: He had replied that we're all grown and mature and

1252
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 6: wished her luck with her studies. A month later was

1253
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 6: my graduation. Katie and I have a mutual friend that

1254
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 6: I had made through Instagram, and we didn't even know

1255
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 6: until deep into the conversation he had put oh a

1256
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 6: Facebook status. This didn't sit right with me, as I

1257
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 6: didn't feel that he should be blocked because of me.

1258
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 6: A month later, I messaged her about this. She replied

1259
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 6: and then blocked me. By this time I was completely

1260
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 6: done with her and didn't give her a second thought.

1261
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 6: This time it was different. We were twenty two and

1262
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 6: twenty three. We were adults, and that was not a

1263
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 6: very adult handling a situation. A few months later, which

1264
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 6: was last year October, she messaged me and my boyfriend

1265
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 6: and the mutual friend. She apologized to all of us,

1266
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 6: saying how immature she was and that she forgives us.

1267
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 6: I ask her if she's gonna block me now that

1268
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:13,799
Speaker 6: she's said what she wanted to.

1269
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 5: She says no.

1270
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 6: I told her how it made me feel that she

1271
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 6: threw shade on me on Facebook. She said she swore

1272
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 6: she doesn't remember doing that. It made me question if

1273
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 6: she actually really did.

1274
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:24,439
Speaker 5: Girl, what you need?

1275
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 6: It made you question you saw them. I made a

1276
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 6: stupid mistake of following her on Instagram.

1277
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 1: She followtop it.

1278
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 6: By the time I had made great friends on campus,

1279
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 6: I was doing well. One of my friends had revealed

1280
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 6: some stuff about her boyfriend to me, I'd come across

1281
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 6: an appropriate video on TikTok, put it up on my

1282
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 6: story and tagged her. It was something about people asking

1283
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 6: for forgiveness, but you already told your best friend about it.

1284
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 6: In the next five minutes, on Katie's story, she had

1285
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 6: typed about being blamed for throwing shade online when the

1286
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 6: person blaming her is the one throwing shade, and that

1287
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 6: God knows all and sees all. I reevaluated and could

1288
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 6: see how my story could been perceived as it being

1289
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 6: about her. I messed sure to clear the air, as

1290
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 6: we were not very neutral and I did not want

1291
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 6: things to go back to bad blood. She gasled me

1292
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 6: and said that stuff she puts that are sometimes about

1293
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 6: things that happened years ago, and she now remembers that

1294
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 6: it's not about me.

1295
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 5: I stooped to her level and put a story.

1296
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 6: Up about not being gas lit, some quote with a

1297
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 6: caption about being gas lit. She removed me as a

1298
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 6: follower and unfollowed me.

1299
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 1: Honestly, fair, dude, fair, but this is an abusive friendship, right.

1300
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 5: I hate it. I hate it. It just keeps going

1301
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 5: back and forth.

1302
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 6: This is exhausting, by the way you know it's not

1303
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 6: exhausting listening to full episodes and stories just like this.

1304
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 6: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or I Heart Radio

1305
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:41,919
Speaker 6: and search of Pocus story time. But there's a little

1306
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 6: bit left to the story.

1307
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 5: Do you have any final thoughts?

1308
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 3: I mean, my my biggest thought is my biggest my

1309
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 3: big badge, your biggest thought, and you're smallest, right, my

1310
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 3: smallest thought.

1311
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 5: Let's start there, all right.

1312
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 3: My smallest thought is I don't know if we should

1313
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 3: be like having so much communication across different platforms with

1314
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 3: one person. Use one platform to communicate to one person.

1315
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 3: Don't like, don't spread your stuff across TikTok and Instagram

1316
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 3: and I'm just just sent us one.

1317
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to.

1318
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 3: I don't want to have to go to every platform

1319
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 3: to see what you're saying to me.

1320
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 6: Earlier this year, I made a friend through religion. She

1321
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 6: added me on a group chat. It was nice and

1322
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,720
Speaker 6: very peaceful. Lo and bhold guess who joins and messages

1323
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 6: on seid group chat Katie. I immediately leave the group

1324
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 6: chat and I messaged my friend and told her that

1325
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 6: Katie and I don't see to She tells me that

1326
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 6: she and Katie had also had run ins.

1327
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,880
Speaker 5: You removed Katie from the group chat. Dang, just like that,

1328
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 5: that was really quick.

1329
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,760
Speaker 6: I find myself now blocking and unblocking her and sometimes

1330
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 6: looking up her profile. Am I the AOL for being

1331
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 6: so angry with her?

1332
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:43,719
Speaker 1: I think?

1333
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 5: I think this anger is actually loved.

1334
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're in.

1335
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 5: Love with her.

1336
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 3: You're in love with her. Hey, it's Sam. We're going

1337
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,959
Speaker 3: to get back to these stories. But here's three minutes

1338
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 3: of ads from our sponsors. My wife and I are

1339
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 3: adopting our foster daughter, and my in laws are furious.

1340
00:56:58,520 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 5: Well, they can mind their own bees.

1341
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 3: My wife and I have two biological teenage sons, one

1342
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 3: older and one younger than our foster daughter. We have

1343
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 3: been fostering kids for many years, where the goal was

1344
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 3: always to reunify the kids with their parents, which has

1345
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 3: happened successfully.

1346
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 1: Each time until now.

1347
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from you, Finn Pin, and

1348
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1349
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 3: our slash Okay storytime. Stowbred it so. Two years ago

1350
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 3: we took in our foster daughter, now mid teens. She'd

1351
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 3: been through a lot and was labeled a troubled kid

1352
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 3: and not adoptable. I won't go into details, But the

1353
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 3: issue in the matter is that there are images of

1354
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 3: her going around amongst a certain community from before we

1355
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,479
Speaker 3: took her in. We were informed by authorities about all

1356
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 3: of this before, so it's not like this came a

1357
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 3: surprise after we got to know her.

1358
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie.

1359
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 3: It has not been easy. Our families have seen a struggle,

1360
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 3: but almost everyone has been super supportive. The first five

1361
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 3: to six months were the hardest. You didn't trust us,

1362
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 3: who was angry at the world, rightfully so. And then

1363
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 3: one random night I got up in the middle of

1364
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 3: the night and unintentionally ended up scaring her rap list

1365
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 3: and she had a full blown panic attack. He was

1366
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: okay after a little while, but it was like something

1367
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 3: clicked for her that night. It was like she realized

1368
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 3: that we were on her side, and we watched her

1369
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 3: change from this angry and side little girl the ambitious

1370
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 3: young teenager video today. It started with her telling us

1371
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 3: thank you for everything we did, small things like driving

1372
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 3: her to practice, and she said it with a smile

1373
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 3: on her face. It was so amazing to see her

1374
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 3: feeling better and not so lonely anymore. From there, everything changed.

1375
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 3: She made new friends and got a lot closer to

1376
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 3: my sons, especially the older one. Her grades went from

1377
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 3: failing multiple classes to getting straight a's, not because we

1378
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 3: were nagging her, but because she wanted to. In terms

1379
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 3: of the grades, each member of our household has developed

1380
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 3: a good and strong relationship with her, and the love

1381
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 3: we have for this girl cannot be put into words.

1382
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 3: We've reached that cosmic connection. She still struggles with a

1383
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 3: few things, which is totally fair after all she's been through,

1384
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:54,959
Speaker 3: but she's working on it and we are supporting her

1385
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 3: in every way we can. Overall, she's doing amazing. He's

1386
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 3: so strong and I'm very proud of her. We made

1387
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 3: the decision to fight the system to change their verdict

1388
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 3: from not adoptable to available for conditional adoption because we

1389
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 3: want to commit to her for life. We want to

1390
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 3: adopt her. Last month we got the call and they

1391
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 3: changed their verdict and we sent in our papers that

1392
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 3: they were already ready and things are looking very promising.

1393
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:23,479
Speaker 3: The thing is, we haven't told her yet. She knows

1394
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 3: that she's now adoptable, but we haven't asked her if

1395
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 3: she wants us to officially adopt her yet. My wife

1396
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 3: and I have talked to our sons about it, and

1397
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 3: they are fully on board. We talked to my parents,

1398
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,600
Speaker 3: our brothers and sisters and their spouses. All of them

1399
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 3: have a good relationship with our daughter, and every single

1400
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 3: one of them is so supportive of our decision and

1401
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 3: willing to fully welcome our daughter into our family. Then

1402
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 3: there is the wife's parents.

1403
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 1: Mother in law.

1404
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 3: Hasn't been awful, I guess, but maybe it's because I'm

1405
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 3: comparing what she said to what father in law said.

1406
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 3: We told them about our plan and asked them about

1407
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 3: their opinion. Mother in law asked if we were sure

1408
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 3: our daughter doesn't quite fit in. My wife and I

1409
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 3: didn't understand at all, since our daughter has a very

1410
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 3: similar personality as we and our sons do. But it

1411
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 3: turns out she's concerned about the visual side of it all.

1412
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 3: She's clearly not our biological child, and people will start

1413
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 3: asking questions. The thing is, my wife, myself, and our

1414
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 3: sons are very tall.

1415
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: Our daughter is not.

1416
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 3: She's tiny compared to us and has a similar eye color,

1417
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 3: but not the exact same. All five of us have

1418
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 3: the same skin tone and colored and textured hair. Not

1419
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 3: that I think it matters at all, but the stupidity

1420
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 3: of it is unreal. Apart from height, she could pass

1421
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 3: as our biological daughter. So I'm starting to think this

1422
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 3: is a lame excuse or something else. I told her

1423
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 3: that people would ask questions no matter what, because even

1424
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 3: if our daughter was a spinning image of my wife,

1425
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 3: it's not like she suddenly gave birth to a teenage

1426
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 3: or two years ago. And the answer to any question

1427
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 3: is very simple. She's adopted. Yeah, toda. It's not like

1428
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 3: it could ever become a secret now, So I don't

1429
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 3: get it. Mother in law didn't say much after that,

1430
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 3: but it was very clear she was not on board.

1431
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: Father in law.

1432
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 3: Hadn't said anything, but he didn't seem at all. I

1433
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 3: asked for his opinion, and he just stared at us

1434
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,320
Speaker 3: for a minute, and then he said.

1435
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 1: Don't do this to yourself and our family.

1436
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 3: It's safe to say. I was confused, but I had

1437
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 3: no idea what to say. After a few more seconds

1438
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 3: he went off. He started talking about their family name

1439
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 3: and didn't want that to be ruined by a little

1440
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 3: or and what would people think if they saw these

1441
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 3: images floating around on the internet. I was stunned. My

1442
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 3: wife couldn't find any words either, and started crying before

1443
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 3: she just left. I didn't say a word while father

1444
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 3: in lawtinish ranting, but a thousand thoughts went through my head.

1445
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 3: Eventually he stopped talking and I still had trouble finding

1446
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:40,440
Speaker 3: any words to say. I just told him, you are sick,

1447
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 3: and I left too. My wife is destroyed after hearing

1448
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 3: what her father thinks about our daughter. We have no

1449
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 3: idea how they know about these images, as we haven't

1450
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 3: told anyone about it.

1451
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 5: That's what I was gonna ask. I was gonna say,

1452
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 5: how does he know? I would not want to know.

1453
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 5: I would not want him around any No, I'm.

1454
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 3: One hundred percent certain my wife didn't tell them, as

1455
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 3: their relationship is not that great. So oh ife was

1456
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 3: closer to my mother than her own, so that wouldn't

1457
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 3: make sense. We have tried to hide this from the

1458
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 3: kids since this happened, but my older son since something

1459
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:13,040
Speaker 3: was very wrong and asked about it. I told him

1460
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 3: our conversation with the in laws about adopting our daughter

1461
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 3: didn't go very well and they weren't supportive. You wanted

1462
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 3: to know why. I told him I couldn't tell him

1463
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 3: that it was serious, and promised to talk to him

1464
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 3: about it in a few years when he's an adults,

1465
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,439
Speaker 3: and I assured him that our daughter didn't do anything wrong,

1466
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 3: our plans haven't changed, and that it's father in law

1467
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 3: who is being unreasonable. My son told me that our

1468
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,280
Speaker 3: daughter told him a few months ago that you didn't

1469
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 3: think the in laws liked her very much, especially father

1470
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 3: in law. This happened two days ago and we haven't

1471
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 3: spoken to them since. I'm not sure I even want

1472
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,640
Speaker 3: to try to be honest. For me, this is going

1473
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 3: to be no contact worthy. I want nothing to do

1474
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 3: with him. I for shore after those things.

1475
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 5: No contact, I think you cannot come.

1476
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 6: This isn't a thing that you can talk about, you know,

1477
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 6: this isn't a thing that you can communicate and find

1478
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 6: some resolution. He made disgusting comments about a child and

1479
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 6: has shown that he is not worthy of being around

1480
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 6: you or definitely not your daughter.

1481
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 3: My wife is in pieces and has mentioned that she

1482
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 3: doesn't want them in her life after this. This has

1483
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 3: tainted our adoption experience for sure. I'm afraid though, that

1484
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 3: if we piss off father in law even more, that

1485
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 3: he will start talking to her other family about these images.

1486
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 3: I do realize he will look like a pig in

1487
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 3: everyone's eyes, but I would like to spare our daughter

1488
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 3: from everyone knowing about what's out there. I usually talk

1489
01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 3: to my mother about heavy stuff in life, but I

1490
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 3: cannot talk to her about this without feeling like I'm

1491
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 3: exposing my daughter by telling my mother more than I

1492
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 3: want to for my daughter's sake, Internet strangers, I have

1493
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 3: no idea what to do from here. How do I

1494
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 3: go about the situation with father in law without creating

1495
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 3: more mess and absolutely necessary for my daughter?

1496
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 1: There isn't at it.

1497
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 3: But I feel like, regardless of what the father in

1498
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 3: law will do, if you cut him out, he's going

1499
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 3: to do more harm by having him in. So I

1500
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: don't know if you can control what he does, but

1501
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 3: I still I think keep him far from your family

1502
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:08,479
Speaker 3: and far from your daughter.

1503
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 1: Well.

1504
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 6: I think it's just like you don't necessarily have to

1505
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 6: have a conversation with him where you're like, yo, I'm

1506
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 6: never going to see you, and maybe that you know,

1507
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 6: pisses him off more.

1508
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:17,439
Speaker 5: You can just stop talking.

1509
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just stop talking, just like don't I would go.

1510
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 3: I would go very low contact and never bring your

1511
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 3: daughter around him. Edit to add, just to be very clear,

1512
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:27,120
Speaker 3: there's no doubt in our minds that we still want

1513
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 3: to ask our daughters for permission to adopt her. A

1514
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:33,080
Speaker 3: relationship with our daughter will not change no matter what

1515
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 3: father in law does or does not do. I realized

1516
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 3: from the first couple of comments that it became unclear

1517
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 3: after the father and incident. Sorry about that. By the way,

1518
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 3: you should never be sorry about listening to the full

1519
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 3: episodes of this podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts, Just

1520
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

1521
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 3: and search. Okay, storytime, there's another relevant updates four hours later. Actually,

1522
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 3: so I'm glad to see I'm not the only one

1523
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 3: possibly hopefully reading two much into this. I think you

1524
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 3: have verified I'm not crazy. Wife and I had a

1525
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 3: brief talk after I posted, and decided to talk to

1526
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 3: her brothers and sisters first about father and last comments.

1527
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:11,720
Speaker 3: It'll be a hard conversation, but it needs to happen

1528
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:13,880
Speaker 3: before I could get to it. My wife told me

1529
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:16,960
Speaker 3: she wants to report the situation with her father knowing

1530
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 3: about the images of our daughter. Right now, we don't

1531
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 3: know what that looks like, but it has simply not

1532
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:25,080
Speaker 3: been possible for him to gain access to this knowledge legally.

1533
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:27,360
Speaker 3: There is a culprit for sure, and we will leave

1534
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,920
Speaker 3: that to authorities for now. Thank you for giving me

1535
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,760
Speaker 3: a reality check and thank you. We're encouragement. We need

1536
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,120
Speaker 3: it right now. And that is where that story ends.

1537
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 6: My religious neighbors are extremely intrusive. I decided to stand

1538
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 6: up for myself. Stand up Hello, I twenty eight female

1539
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,000
Speaker 6: to mail. Have a couple of neighbors that live on

1540
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 6: the other side of my duplex. They were fine for

1541
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 6: the most part, aside from the occasional proselytizing, but over

1542
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:58,000
Speaker 6: the last five months they've almost become insufferable. By the way,

1543
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,240
Speaker 6: this comes from Loud Throwaway and if you want to

1544
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 6: make your own story, go to our slash okay storytime

1545
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 6: separate it. The wife is always knocking on my door.

1546
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 6: I made the mistake of letting her in once and

1547
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 6: we had coffee until she started talking about judgment. After

1548
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 6: a few minutes of that, I asked her to leave,

1549
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 6: and she prayed over me for like thirty seconds while

1550
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 6: I stood there tapping my foot waiting for her.

1551
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 5: To shut up. The husband is more malicious.

1552
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,560
Speaker 6: I have a doormat that says everyone's welcome here with

1553
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:27,040
Speaker 6: a little pride flag along the top and bottom, and

1554
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 6: once I came home to find him rolling it up.

1555
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 5: When I asked what he was doing, he said that

1556
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 5: it was on side light and he was doing that.

1557
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:33,480
Speaker 1: I were at a fiber.

1558
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 6: I don't know how they found out I was trans

1559
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 6: I'd been on tea for like twelve years and look

1560
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:41,640
Speaker 6: indistinguishable from a SIS guy except for downstairs. But I

1561
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,840
Speaker 6: left for work one morning to find a pamphlet on

1562
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 6: the dangers of HRT on my effing porch. Well, you

1563
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,040
Speaker 6: know what's also dangerous hatred?

1564
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 3: Well maybe at least they're being educated on what the

1565
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:53,640
Speaker 3: fans experience it.

1566
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 6: You know, it's like a really abformative packet. It's like,

1567
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:01,640
Speaker 6: just make sure that you're eating. Look, they only read

1568
01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:04,120
Speaker 6: the front page to the dangers. I ripped it up

1569
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 6: and put it back on theirs. Part of me wanted

1570
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 6: to light it on fire, but that could come with

1571
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:11,640
Speaker 6: criminal consequences. Last week was the last draw. We share

1572
01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 6: a bedroom wall, and for the past week they've been

1573
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 6: having a really really Christian spicy sleep almost every night.

1574
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:19,600
Speaker 5: What does that mean?

1575
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 1: God?

1576
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 6: What I mean by that is that I'm kept awake

1577
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 6: every night by the wife screaming her head off and

1578
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 6: saying crap like.

1579
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:32,560
Speaker 2: Say it with God's light with your seed, effing nauseating.

1580
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 5: Okay, so literally, oh my God, literally yeah.

1581
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:40,120
Speaker 1: Christian filled me up with guys light day.

1582
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 6: The only outside is that it usually only lasts for

1583
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 6: five minutes. I left them a note asking them to

1584
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 6: keep it down, and I came home to it ripped

1585
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 6: up on my porch half the time.

1586
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 5: I don't think they're even effing. I think they're just

1587
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:54,520
Speaker 5: yelling through.

1588
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 6: The wall at me. Here's where my hypothetical comes in.

1589
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:00,760
Speaker 6: I have a boyfriend, Jesse thirty mail. We don't live together,

1590
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 6: and we can get pretty loud during spicy sleep as

1591
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:07,320
Speaker 6: He's very very good at it and I'm very lucky.

1592
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 6: Usually we have it at his house out of respect

1593
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,440
Speaker 6: for my neighbors, but I've lost this respect entirely. Would

1594
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 6: I be the ale if I invited my boyfriend over

1595
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,759
Speaker 6: to stay the night and we had really loud, raunchy,

1596
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 6: spicy sleep to piss off the neighbors. I asked him,

1597
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 6: and he thought it was hilarious and agreed to do it.

1598
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:25,479
Speaker 6: But I still feel like a bit of a clown.

1599
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 5: PS.

1600
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 6: I don't have issues with Christians in general. I have

1601
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:31,719
Speaker 6: an issue with Christians who act like this and still

1602
01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:32,679
Speaker 6: claim to be Christian.

1603
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 1: You know, lean ahead.

1604
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,759
Speaker 6: So, as I mentioned last time, Jesse was on board.

1605
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:38,920
Speaker 6: He came over around sixth the day of a posting,

1606
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 6: and was going to stay the night. We watched a

1607
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:43,759
Speaker 6: movie and got each other in the mood before retiring

1608
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:44,840
Speaker 6: up to my bedroom at a.

1609
01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:45,639
Speaker 5: Bu ten pm.

1610
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:46,720
Speaker 1: You were retiring?

1611
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, now you might be thinking you were repeat gett

1612
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:52,400
Speaker 5: You said it didn't go well? Was Jesse bad in bed?

1613
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,920
Speaker 5: Was he so lackluster that you couldn't even pretend that

1614
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:55,559
Speaker 5: it felt good?

1615
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,840
Speaker 6: Are you too breaking up forever? As is the norm

1616
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,640
Speaker 6: with relationships on Reddit? No, and also hold on a

1617
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 6: dang minute. I won't go into too much detail, but

1618
01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 6: it lasted for an hour and.

1619
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:07,920
Speaker 1: A half an hour and a half half.

1620
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,519
Speaker 6: We both got spicy hobbies that would probably un alive

1621
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:14,519
Speaker 6: a nun, and we made sure they heard on the

1622
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:16,679
Speaker 6: other side of the wall what sounded like an argument,

1623
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,559
Speaker 6: but no knocking or yelling or anything like that. Eventually

1624
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:22,280
Speaker 6: we finished, and it was so nice not hearing anything

1625
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:24,599
Speaker 6: on the other side that I suggested that Jesse stay

1626
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:25,840
Speaker 6: over for a few more days.

1627
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:29,720
Speaker 1: Oh so the party's still going party. Of course you

1628
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 1: get this story by though.

1629
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1630
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:33,840
Speaker 6: Someone asked me and DMS what my goal was for

1631
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:36,320
Speaker 6: annoying them. This was not to annoy them. It was

1632
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 6: to make it so they'd never be able to look

1633
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,519
Speaker 6: Jesse or me in the eyes again. I wanted them

1634
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 6: to avoid me at all costs. In the morning, I

1635
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 6: went out to grab the mail and the wife was

1636
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,640
Speaker 6: out there on the porch waiting for me.

1637
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 1: He was bleeding, bleating, like.

1638
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:51,479
Speaker 6: Desperately trying to put her hands on me to pray.

1639
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 6: I kept knocking.

1640
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 3: She inspired, He's like, damn, it can last more than

1641
01:09:55,920 --> 01:09:56,639
Speaker 3: five minutes.

1642
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 1: Please tell me there we all secrets.

1643
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:01,479
Speaker 6: I kept knocking away and told her not to touch

1644
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:03,599
Speaker 6: me and to leave me alone. She kept crying after

1645
01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 6: me and knocking on my door to get me to

1646
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 6: come out or she'd get her husband.

1647
01:10:07,439 --> 01:10:09,600
Speaker 5: I went back inside and told Jesse we'd have to

1648
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 5: be even louder tonight.

1649
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:13,840
Speaker 1: Well we were, and this time, I.

1650
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:15,800
Speaker 3: Think this is your kink. At this point, I think so,

1651
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 3: I think you've unlocked a new thing.

1652
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:20,559
Speaker 6: We heard knocking and shouting didn't stop, though it was

1653
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:23,120
Speaker 6: equally as good, if a bit shorter. When we finished,

1654
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,760
Speaker 6: everything was quiet. Next afternoon, I went off to a

1655
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,120
Speaker 6: friend's birthday party while Jesse did some work from home.

1656
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,880
Speaker 6: When I was there, I got a terrified call from him.

1657
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 6: He said, first off that he was safe. I took

1658
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:34,800
Speaker 6: Jesse's car to the party since he was blocking me in,

1659
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:36,760
Speaker 6: and when the husband saw that my car was the

1660
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:39,760
Speaker 6: only one there, he assumed I was home alone. He then,

1661
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,920
Speaker 6: according to Jesse, yelled at me to come outside. Jesse

1662
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 6: ignored him as I asked him to do, but then

1663
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:47,840
Speaker 6: came the bank. I've been getting it light and story

1664
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:50,000
Speaker 6: is so far to not freak myself out again, but

1665
01:10:50,040 --> 01:10:52,599
Speaker 6: I can't keep it up here. The crazy effort tried

1666
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,240
Speaker 6: to punt down my door and was screaming about.

1667
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:56,880
Speaker 5: How he's going to make come in and make me

1668
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:58,519
Speaker 5: pay for what I did to his wife.

1669
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:01,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, I dude. The wife is now so sad about

1670
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:04,080
Speaker 3: her icy sleep life. Only last five minutes. She's like,

1671
01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:05,759
Speaker 3: oh my god, they're still going.

1672
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 5: Yeah. She's like, people can do this. I want a divorce,

1673
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:09,400
Speaker 5: and he's.

1674
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I can.

1675
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:14,400
Speaker 6: Thank god, it was a locked with heavy lock. Jesse

1676
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:17,639
Speaker 6: immediately called the cops, good and they arrested the husband.

1677
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:19,880
Speaker 5: Jesse is fine. I am fine.

1678
01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:22,120
Speaker 6: I can't say much about the case or charges since

1679
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 6: I'll be testifying soon. I'm currently staying with Jesse at

1680
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:26,760
Speaker 6: his house and probably will not go back to my

1681
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:29,599
Speaker 6: old place except him about Jesse makes very good money

1682
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:31,320
Speaker 6: and is willing to set me up for a while.

1683
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:31,800
Speaker 4: Ruh.

1684
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,559
Speaker 1: Not only is he good in bed, but he makes

1685
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,960
Speaker 1: that cash.

1686
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:36,639
Speaker 5: Look at this man.

1687
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 3: You got, you got someone going you.

1688
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:40,840
Speaker 6: Want, but you know you can win to if you

1689
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 6: listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

1690
01:11:43,479 --> 01:11:46,320
Speaker 5: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search

1691
01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:48,879
Speaker 5: up storytime. But there's a little bit left to the story.

1692
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:52,760
Speaker 1: Any final thought, final thoughts. I think this is hilarious.

1693
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:57,519
Speaker 3: This is hilarious, and I really shouldn't hurt anyone, but

1694
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 3: you know I wouldn't. I wouldn't unknown necessarily make your

1695
01:12:01,520 --> 01:12:04,800
Speaker 3: neighbor mad if you can, because stuff like that, because

1696
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:05,479
Speaker 3: they're dangerous.

1697
01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 5: I think you have to be careful about who you

1698
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:08,439
Speaker 5: are making mad.

1699
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:12,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, sometimes you have people who are very religiously religious.

1700
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,840
Speaker 3: As you know, it's not you know, it's definitely not

1701
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:16,519
Speaker 3: your problem and it's not your fault, but it is

1702
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:19,920
Speaker 3: it is your problem. Actually, because now they're coming and

1703
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,639
Speaker 3: like banging down doors and stuff.

1704
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 1: So I think it's hilarious.

1705
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 3: I think if you want the least drama filled life,

1706
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:27,280
Speaker 3: you don't have a spicy sleep war. But do you

1707
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:30,599
Speaker 3: want a kick ass, kick butt story spicy sleep war.

1708
01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:33,400
Speaker 6: All this has been effing terrifying in a whirlwind, and

1709
01:12:33,479 --> 01:12:36,040
Speaker 6: honestly just want to sleep for a long, long, long time.

1710
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:38,000
Speaker 6: It makes me not want to go out in public

1711
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:40,400
Speaker 6: anymore after knowing that there are people like this out there.

1712
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:43,639
Speaker 6: Jesse's understandably shaken, and I feel scared as crap whenever

1713
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:45,720
Speaker 6: I open the door to go outside, even though I

1714
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,839
Speaker 6: know he's being held. I'm going to get a restraining

1715
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:50,440
Speaker 6: order when this is all over, bothe this update suffices,

1716
01:12:50,479 --> 01:12:52,759
Speaker 6: and if it doesn't, too bad, because I'm not trying

1717
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 6: this crap again. I have learned my lesson, do not

1718
01:12:55,720 --> 01:12:59,280
Speaker 6: antagonize crazies. Do not no matter how much they make.

1719
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:02,000
Speaker 3: Say right, Okay, I'm glad we learned that lesson that story.

1720
01:13:02,040 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 3: I'm glad we learned that lesson. Don't antagonize crazy. Even

1721
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,599
Speaker 3: though it's fun and maybe funny and makes a great story,

1722
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 3: it'll make your life more filled with drama. We don't

1723
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:12,679
Speaker 3: necessarily want that we want peaceful lives, well, a little

1724
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:14,439
Speaker 3: bit of drama once a while, but that's the end

1725
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:15,000
Speaker 3: of that story.