1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: Do your best, like forgive yourself all day long. You know, 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: if you mess up, it's good, it's okay. Just just 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: raw and real and move to the next right action. 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:19,240 Speaker 1: Do your best right now. Guys. 5 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 2: Hey, Hurdler's Emily a body here with episode one hundred 6 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: and three of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I 7 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything from 8 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 2: their big wins to how they've gotten through. 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 3: Some of life's toughest moments. 10 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 2: On the show, you can expect vulnerability, motivation, and candid 11 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring entrepreneurs on 12 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 2: what it really takes to follow your passions. 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 3: My mission is simple, to. 14 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 2: Inspire you to be your best self, move with intention, 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 2: and have some fun along the way. Today I am 16 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 2: bringing you my really, really special conversation with Gabrielle Bernstein. 17 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 2: Talking with her was something that I have been looking 18 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 2: forward to for a really long time, and it was 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: refreshing and inspiring. 20 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 3: And just great in so many ways. 21 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 2: She is the number one New York Times best selling 22 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 2: author of the Universe Has Your Back and has written 23 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 2: a slew of other bestsellers, including a book called Super 24 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,479 Speaker 2: Attractor released last year. 25 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 3: Which we talked about in today's episode. She's also an 26 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 3: international speaker. 27 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 2: She's lectured everywhere from Oprah's Super Soul Sessions to Google. 28 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: She's a certified Kundalini Yoga meditation teacher, so many things now. 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 2: In today's episode, Bernstein talks to me about coming of age, 30 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: living in New York City, working as a nightlife publicist, 31 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 2: and a two thousand and five Kurdle moment that involved 32 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 2: her sitting on the floor of her West Village apartment, 33 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: still under the influence from the night before. 34 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 3: She calls this her rock bottom. At age twenty five, 35 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 3: she knew she needed to make a drastic change, and 36 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 3: she has been sober ever since. Gabby talks to me 37 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 3: about what it was like to follow her calling in 38 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 3: her purpose and start talking to others about spirituality. We 39 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 3: chat about her path to becoming a speaker and an author, 40 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 3: and also she's super open about how she dealt with 41 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 3: postpartum depression and offers up some really great honest advice 42 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 3: for moms everywhere who might be going through the same thing. 43 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 3: To be completely real with you, guys, this is an 44 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 3: interview I chased for a little while, and I'm just again, 45 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 3: so excited to bring it to you today and to 46 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 3: introduce you to this inspiring woman if you have not 47 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 3: come across her stuff yet. I'd also like to highlight 48 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 3: that in the show notes there is a super super 49 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 3: helpful anxiety relief workshop that she shared with the Hurdle 50 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 3: listeners as well as a positive energy meditation. Is something 51 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 3: that I am really amped to dive in to this week. 52 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 3: Before we get into today's episode, some words from my sponsors. 53 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 2: Firstly, Athleticgreens with the anti accident equivalent of twelve servings 54 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 2: of fruits and vegetables as well as adaptagens, probiotics, probiotics 55 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 2: and superfoods. 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Also giving some 70 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 3: love to Daily Harvest. 71 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 2: Let me tell you I have never been more appreciative 72 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 2: of having flavorful meals in my freezer that can be 73 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 2: ready in five minutes or less. Daily Harvest delivers the 74 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 2: foods you want to eat, but me not have the 75 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: first clue on how to prepare yourself right to your door. 76 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 2: Just this week, I've eaten really delicious stuff like Brussels 77 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 2: sprouts and limepad tie, lentil and tomato, bal niese mushroom 78 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 2: and miso soup and butternut squash and kale shak shuka. 79 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 2: The perfect way to start my Sunday. Head on over 80 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 2: to Dailyharvest dot com and enter the promo code Hurdle 81 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,280 Speaker 2: two five to get twenty five dollars off your first box. Again, 82 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: that's promo code Hurdle two five for twenty five dollars 83 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 2: off your first box. 84 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 3: At Dailyharvest dot com. Again, that's Dailyharvest dot com. 85 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: I love connecting with all of you, so please, if 86 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 2: you are listening to this week's episode, last week's episode, 87 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 2: any episode, give me a shout out over on social 88 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 2: media at Hurdle Podcast and at Emily a Body. As always, 89 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 2: if you have a hurdle moment of your own to share, 90 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 2: or you just want to say. 91 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 3: Hi, reach out to me over email. It's Emily at 92 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 3: Hurdle dot us. I am sending so many good vibes 93 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 3: to you wherever you might be listening to this. With that, 94 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:36,919 Speaker 3: let's get to hurdling today. I am sitting down with 95 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 3: Gabby Bernstein. She's a number one New York Times best 96 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 3: selling author. She's a motivational speaker. Gabby, how else do 97 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 3: you like to describe yourself? I'm a spiritual activist. I'm 98 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 3: a mom and then you yeah, you nailed it. I'm 99 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 3: a can opener in a sense I like to like 100 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 3: crack people open to their spiritual connection. Open up that 101 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 3: can to their spiritual connection. I dig that. I dig that. 102 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 3: I do want to start our conversation by talking about 103 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 3: the Choose Again method from your book Super Attractor. So 104 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 3: would you mind looking me through that and how that's 105 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 3: kind of relevant to what's going on. 106 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, Supertractor's method, the choose Again method, is one of 107 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: the greatest methods we could be using right now and 108 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: throughout our entire life. So if you're going to learn 109 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: it right now because you're hitting a bottom, then great, 110 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: master it and then take it with you wherever you 111 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: go for the rest of your life. So here we 112 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: go the first step. It's a three step process. The 113 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: first step is to notice the fearful thought that you 114 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: have on repeat. There may be many, but just notice 115 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: when they show up. So notice that fearful thought and 116 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: then ask yourself, how does this make me feel? How 117 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: does this make me feel? And so it may make 118 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: you feel anxious or nauseous, or it may make your 119 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: shoulders tense. Just identify how it makes you feel. The 120 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 1: second step is to forgive yourself for having that thought. 121 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: And why this is so profound is that Abraham Hicks 122 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: is a spiritual teacher that at physical teachers they say 123 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,359 Speaker 1: that a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking. 124 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: So once you have that repetitive thought, you start to 125 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: believe it's who you are. But when you practice step two, 126 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: and you forgive yourself for having that thought. What happens 127 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: is is that you see that that thought isn't who 128 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: I am. That thought isn't my reality. That's just a 129 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: thought that I keep thinking. That's step two. Forgive yourself 130 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: for having that thought. The third step is the most 131 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: profound part, which is to choose again. And this is 132 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: where you start to reach for the next best feeling thought. So, 133 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: for instance, you know, I'm a I'm a mama, and 134 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: I'm a business owner, and I have a team of 135 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: twenty that I'm you know, keeping going and keep keeping 136 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: keeping it all moving and flowing, and we don't have 137 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: any childcare at the moment, so my husband are both 138 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: running our business. And you know, everybody's got their own story, right, 139 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: So I was in this story of like, it's exhausting 140 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: to be a mom and do this work and you know, 141 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: whatever it was. And then I forgave myself for having 142 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: that thought, because if I hadn't forgiven myself, I would 143 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: have judged myself right, like, oh, there's people have it 144 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: way worse than you, Gadby, how dare you say that? 145 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 2: Right? 146 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 3: You know? 147 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: But I forgive myself, let myself off the hook for that. 148 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: And then the third step was to reach for the 149 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: next best feeling thought. And so I started reaching for 150 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: this amazing thought, which is that this is this beautiful 151 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: time where I'm spending hours and hours a day intimately 152 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: connected with my son in ways like you know, walking 153 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 1: in the snow or cooking together. I have a fifteen 154 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 1: month old, so this is like serious and just really 155 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: really devoting my life to him at this time in 156 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: a way that I never would have been able to 157 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: if I had that childcare all day while I was working. 158 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: And then this bond that I have with my husband 159 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: and that I can be creative with both of them, 160 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: and that I have someone supporting me to create a 161 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 1: schedule throughout the day so he and I can go 162 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: back and forth, and just reaching and reaching and reaching 163 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: for the next best feeling thought. So that's the practice, 164 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: those three steps. That was just my example of today. 165 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 3: It's super it's super super powerful, and I thought it 166 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 3: would be a good way for us to kind of 167 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 3: ease in and to get to know, you know, a 168 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 3: little bit about who you are and what kinds of 169 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 3: topics and you're talking about, and how you are working 170 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 3: with the people that keep up with you. I would 171 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 3: love to dial it back a little bit. Obviously, you 172 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 3: don't have a team of twenty that just pops up overnight. 173 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 3: You've done a lot of work to get to where 174 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 3: you are, So tell me a little bit about where 175 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:36,839 Speaker 3: you grow up. 176 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: I was always, I think I was always on this 177 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 1: mission to be a spiritual teacher. When I was fourteen 178 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: years old, I was the president of the regional Jewish 179 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,239 Speaker 1: youth group and like leading these spiritual weekends and temples, 180 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: and I was just really committed and devoted to being 181 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: a leader. And then when I was in my early twenties, 182 00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: I was I started a PR company and I represented clubs, 183 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: and I was really looking for that happiness outside of myself, 184 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: and it was very addicted to outside sources of feeling 185 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: good enough, and. 186 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 3: That led me down a dark road where I became 187 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 3: a drug addict. And at that time, by the time 188 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 3: I was twenty five, I hit a really big bottom 189 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 3: with my drug addiction. And the beauty. 190 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 1: The beauty was I was always still on my spiritual paths, 191 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,959 Speaker 1: seeking and seeking and seeking, and so when I was 192 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: twenty five, I made a commitment to myself to get 193 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,599 Speaker 1: clean and I've been clean now for fifteen years. Congratulations 194 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 1: that my sobriety was really the catalyst for reconnecting to 195 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: my spiritual faith in a way that was really really 196 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: major for me. And at that point I started speaking 197 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: publicly I'm on spiritual topics, and a few years later 198 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: wrote my first book, and I've written eight books since then. 199 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 3: Did it feel really nerve wracking or really natural at 200 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 3: first to speak out and share your story. 201 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: No, it's natural. So my teaching style is a full transparency, 202 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: authentic truth. So for me, I feel like it's this 203 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: you go first thing where I share a story that's 204 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: genuinely true and authentic and honest, and I only share 205 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: that story when I feel I have moved through it 206 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: completely to a point where I'm healthy with it, and 207 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: I share all the tools and the methods of what 208 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: it is and I have used to resurrect myself from 209 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: that bottom or that suffering or that addiction, or that 210 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: pain or that trauma. And in the truth of my story, 211 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: I think when you go first, people recognize their stories 212 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: in you, and it gives them permission to really show 213 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: up for themselves and admit to themselves what's going on. 214 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 3: Truly. So my whole life and career have been devoted 215 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 3: to telling the truth and being real. When you made 216 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 3: the conscious choice to get sober and to make a 217 00:11:54,440 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 3: big life pivot, did you abandon the pr life? Well? 218 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 3: I did. I did. A year I had where I was, 219 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 3: I was like a publicist by day and a motivational 220 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 3: speaker by night. 221 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: And then in a year's time, my coaching really picked up, 222 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,959 Speaker 1: My group coaching really picked up. My talks went from 223 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: fifty people to one hundred people to two hundred people, 224 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: and it was just a real fast momentum. And this 225 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,839 Speaker 1: was a time before wellness was such a trend. It 226 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: was a time before anyone was gluten free, no one 227 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 1: was drinking green juice. You know, you were you were 228 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 1: hippie if you went to you know, the health food store, 229 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: so which I really was at the time, and so 230 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: you know, it was this is fifteen years ago, So 231 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: this is way way, you know, before this new zeitgeist 232 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: of wellness. And I just, you know, I just saw 233 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 1: the momentum and I witnessed it, and I just had 234 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: such fond memories of that time, and sometimes I wish 235 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: I could just like go back in time and sit 236 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: in those rooms with my group coaching workshops with like 237 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: ten women and just go deep and channeling with them 238 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: and all the stuff that we did. 239 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 3: But it's not where we are at anymore, not anymore. 240 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 3: I think when you're starting to build something great as 241 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 3: you have, it can be pretty standard to at one 242 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:14,199 Speaker 3: point or another experience a little bit of imposter syndrome. 243 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 3: And I can only imagine as you were talking to 244 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 3: more and more people at times it could have felt 245 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 3: a little overwhelming. So how did you stay on track 246 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 3: with that? How did you keep motivated and kind of 247 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: keep on the path. I've never had any My career 248 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 3: has been an area of my life that has been 249 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:35,719 Speaker 3: really clean. There's been no disbelief. Doesn't mean that there 250 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,719 Speaker 3: haven't been other areas where there's been a lot of 251 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 3: suffering and disbelief that I've worked through tremendously with my career. 252 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 3: I think I've always lived with this quote in the 253 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 3: back of my mind. Is this Joan of Arc quote, 254 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 3: which is I am not afraid. I was born to 255 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 3: do this, And that's my mantra. I love mantra like that. 256 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 3: I love when you have like a guiding principle that 257 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 3: kind of keeps you to your true north. Mmmm, totally. 258 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 3: So okay, you are doing more and more speaking, you're 259 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 3: growing this new career path of yours. And then do 260 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 3: you remember the moment where you kind of came to 261 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 3: the realization that this was the way and that you 262 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 3: could leave all that pr behind and really just make 263 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 3: this full pivot. I knew it right when I got clean. 264 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 3: I just was willing to take my time so that 265 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 3: I wouldn't overwhelm my nervous system. Right. 266 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: So, if you're in a transition with your career, the 267 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: best thing to do is, you know, have a side 268 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: hustle for a while, because you don't want to just 269 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: pull the trigger and then be financially insecure, because then 270 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: that makes it puts in a place where you resent 271 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: the passion project because it's too scary. So I don't 272 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with having a side gig and 273 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: a side hustle for a while. 274 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 3: Okay, So you are living in New York as this 275 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 3: is all picking up, correct, And what else about your 276 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 3: life is starting to change? Because it's not like on 277 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 3: one side totally shifts and then everything else says as is. 278 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure you started to develop other interests, 279 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 3: other hobbies. Yeah, as soon as I got sober, I 280 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 3: started changing my patterns. I started rollerblading all over New 281 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 3: York City and going to yoga classes and drinking and 282 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 3: going to like raw food parties and things that were 283 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: totally bizarre at the time. But that's a food party. 284 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like no one was into this stuff, and there 285 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: was just like people like in the East Village throwing 286 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: parties that are like all about raw food. And this 287 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: new trends occurring around me. And I really devoted my 288 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: life to leading talks. So I spent six like five 289 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: or six years doing the talk every single month on 290 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 1: different topics. And this was all even leading up to 291 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: my first book launching. So the top topics would be 292 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: fearless relationships or forgiveness or body love or whatever the 293 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: topic was. And then I started doing these really large 294 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: group coaching workshops and yoga studies, become like a few 295 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: hundred people and then be like busting out of the space, 296 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: and I don't know, just everything changed for me. It 297 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: was just really really really empowering to be in the 298 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: light and the inspiration of this fucking awesome message that 299 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: I was so devoted to in my own life. And 300 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: then to have the privilege of being able to share 301 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: it with others, and that privilege just gets stronger and 302 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: stronger for me every single day, and I'm just I 303 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: feel so deeply blessed to be able to do this 304 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: work and to be this type of messenger in this 305 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: way at this time, particularly right now, when people are 306 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: losing their minds, and I'm so glad that I can 307 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: help people come back to safety. And that's my help. 308 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 1: That's my primary intention at this time as we go 309 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: through this pandemic. I just want to bring people back 310 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: to safety. 311 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 3: And what a beautiful mission. As you further along in 312 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 3: your career, you also further along in your personal life. 313 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 3: And I know that. I mean, aside from the hurdle 314 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 3: of addiction and then getting sober, you also went through 315 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 3: hurdles when it came to having your baby boy. So 316 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 3: talk to me a little bit about becoming a mom. 317 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 3: So it took me three years to conceive my son, 318 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 3: and in that time, I actually remembered a childhood traumatic 319 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 3: event which was a huge part of the reason why 320 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 3: my body wasn't able to conceive because I was in 321 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 3: a constant state of hyper arousal as a result of 322 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 3: being having PCSD that I was unaware of. So in 323 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 3: the three years, I really did a tremendous, tremendous amount 324 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 3: of trauma therapy and healing work that really helped me 325 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,160 Speaker 3: restore my nervous system, heal my gut, you get back 326 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 3: into a parasympathetic state, and really change who I was 327 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 3: as a human. And all of that hard work is 328 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 3: what allowed my body to be receptive enough to create life. 329 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 3: And I gave birth to my son fifteen months ago 330 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 3: and then had the great privilege of having debilitating suicidal 331 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,120 Speaker 3: postpartum depression and anxiety. And I actually am not being sarcastic. 332 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 3: I'm being completely serious when I share that that was 333 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 3: a privilege because what it gave me was this deep, 334 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,239 Speaker 3: true understanding of mental illness. And it gave me an 335 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 3: understanding of the power of medication when it's deeply needed, 336 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 3: and how it saved my life. And I can speak 337 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 3: to people who are deeply suffering with mental illness now 338 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,920 Speaker 3: from a place of genuine understanding and compassion and authority 339 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 3: because I've survived it, and you know, I and I 340 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 3: did things, and I you know, I had to go 341 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,199 Speaker 3: get medicated, which was something that was never on my 342 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 3: agenda right here. I was like probably part of the 343 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 3: stigma telling people to meditate when they were depressed, and 344 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 3: they would be you know, when you have a biochemical condition, 345 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 3: meditation isn't going to work until you get to a 346 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 3: place where you have enough serotonin to function, you know. 347 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 3: So that was an interesting period of my life that 348 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 3: I really am grateful for, and I'm particularly grateful to 349 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 3: be out of it now. Talk to me about I mean, 350 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 3: how did you feel when you first started to have 351 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 3: these thoughts, because I think, especially as a new mom, 352 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 3: you're in this place where you want to be this 353 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 3: small humans caretaker, you want to show up for them fully, 354 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,479 Speaker 3: and then you're feeling debilitated. Yeah, it's dark, you know. 355 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 3: I think that for me, it showed up about four 356 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 3: months in, and I think it's important to share that 357 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 3: because they only really track you. Doctors and everyone are 358 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 3: only really tracking you up until six weeks because that's 359 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 3: typically when it shows up. But for me, it came 360 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:25,719 Speaker 3: at four months. 361 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: I started really with panic attacks and agoraphobia and insomnia, 362 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 1: which then led to depression and suicidal thoughts because if 363 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: you know, if I wasn't sleeping for weeks, that will 364 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 1: make anyone want to kill themselves. So you know, I 365 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 1: just I just had enough. It took me two months 366 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 1: to really pin it down and just accept that it 367 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: was really also the great the grace of God moving 368 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 1: through my therapist who had an intervention with me and 369 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: my husband and says she has to get medica or 370 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,160 Speaker 1: she'll die. You know, she was like, it's time get 371 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: her medicated. And that's when I called it excellent postpartum 372 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: psychiatrist who guided my medicated path and saved my life. 373 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 3: So one of your biggest pieces of advice for new 374 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 3: moms who may be feeling the same way as you 375 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 3: would be. 376 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: Go to the Motherhood Center on Instagram or Motherhoodcenter dot 377 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: org and they're based in New York City. But they 378 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: also do tele a support obviously right now they are 379 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: and they can guide you. If you don't feel that 380 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,679 Speaker 1: you have access to a psychiatrist or you don't have 381 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: access to an obgyn that can help you diagnose your symptoms, 382 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: they can help you. Postpartum International is a great place 383 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: to go to. But the number one thing I would say, 384 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 1: would we do not ignore your symptoms. 385 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 3: I think it's really beautiful how open you are and 386 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 3: how your mission has become to just help in whatever 387 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 3: way you can when it comes to how you kind 388 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 3: of go about your day to day, how you handle 389 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 3: your practices. Give me some insight into what that looks 390 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 3: like for you. I have a really devoted meditation practice. 391 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 3: Try I practice trends and dental meditation, so I do 392 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 3: twenty minutes twice a day. I am practicing my principles 393 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 3: like a full time job. I recorded this really fucking 394 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 3: awesome meditation yesterday just because I've set up this whole 395 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 3: recording studio in my house right now and I'm doing 396 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 3: a training, a whole anxiety relief hour long training. 397 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 1: I'll give you the link. You can give it to everybody. 398 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: It's totally free, so I could recorded in meditation as 399 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: another additional giveaway for that. And it's like this affirmation meditation. 400 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 1: And then I've had my team put music behind it, 401 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 1: and within an hour I had this like unbelievably epic 402 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: of affirmation meditation. And I got to be honest with you, I'm. 403 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 3: Listening to it all day long. I've got it on repeat. 404 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 3: This I don't. 405 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm drinking my own juice here, honey. I 406 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: am like really really practicing what I preach and following 407 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,400 Speaker 1: all my methods and using emotional freedom technique. And I'm 408 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 1: doing many therapy sessions a week with different healers. I 409 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: have an energy healer that cuts chords for me every 410 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 1: single week. I have amdr therapists that helped me with 411 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: my nervous system. I'm doing EFT on my own. I'm 412 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: just in it to win it. I do not This 413 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: is not a time for me to lose my center. 414 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: I am feeling extremely called to rise up and be 415 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,239 Speaker 1: of service. And the way that I can be an 416 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: activist in the world is to help spiritual help people 417 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: find a spiritual solution at this time and help people 418 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 1: regulate their nervous system and heal their mental condition through 419 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 1: these meditative practices and CPT practices and everything that I'm offering. 420 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,679 Speaker 1: So I just I just have to show up. 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And I think 453 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,680 Speaker 2: a lot of people are leaning into meditation, perhaps uh 454 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 2: for the first time right now, as we're all trying 455 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 2: to figure out the best way to deal with what's happening. 456 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,199 Speaker 2: For those that are a little hesitant to something like 457 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 2: that but are willing to make some shifts. I love 458 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 2: what I think I read unless I listen to it 459 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: about your sleep hygiene and your sleep practice. So why 460 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 2: don't you talk me through the importance of having a 461 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 2: good quality sleep hygiene and what that means for you. 462 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you run the risk right now, and we're you know, 463 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 1: at any time in life, but particularly right now with 464 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: this pandemic and even after if you're listening to this, 465 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 1: because you may have some PTSD from it. So you 466 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: want to really make your sleep hygiene a high priority. 467 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: And here are some strong suggestions. So turn off your phone, 468 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: in your computer, and all your devices an hour at 469 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: least an hour before bed, put them in a different room, 470 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 1: completely shut down. Then you'll want to have a wind 471 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: down routine where maybe you take a bath, maybe you shower, 472 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,360 Speaker 1: maybe do a little yoga, maybe you listen to meditation, 473 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: maybe you read a soothing self help book, whatever it 474 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 1: is that can help you wind down, and don't get 475 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: in bed until you're ready to actually fall asleep. So 476 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: it's really important in the sleep hygiene folks say that 477 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: you know the only thing you want to do in 478 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: your bed is have sex or sleep, So wind it 479 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: down and then get in bed and be ready to sleep. 480 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 1: And there's some sleep hypnosis techniques that I've been doing. 481 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 1: My hypnosis teacher, Melissa Tears, she taught me something where 482 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: you can do a heart breath where you breathe energy 483 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: into your heart and then you extend it out and 484 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: you keep breathing deeply in and out of your heart, 485 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,400 Speaker 1: so breathing into your heart and then exhaling through your heart, 486 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: and breathing into your heart and exhaling through your heart 487 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 1: and letting that just expand. And there's a lot of 488 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: I have a million hypnosis things that I've been doing, 489 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: but taking it super seriously. 490 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 3: Of course. You know my husband, I've got a rule 491 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 3: with him. You can't we run a business together? 492 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: And sometimes right before I was about to go to bed, 493 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: he'd run in the room and be like, we need 494 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: to change this, and I was like, no work talk 495 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 1: after six and no big talk in the bedroom. 496 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,800 Speaker 3: I definitely think that's something that a lot of people 497 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 3: are probably struggling with right now. To the max is 498 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,360 Speaker 3: when there's very little separation between your work space and 499 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 3: your sleep space. I mean, I live in a one 500 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,439 Speaker 3: bedroom apartment. I'm so thankful to have at least different 501 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 3: areas to do both in. But for these people that 502 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 3: their work computer is so close to where they can 503 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 3: finally relax and kick back and not having that separation, 504 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 3: it's so important to have that separation. 505 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I have some advice on that. So 506 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: I were from home for the past. I had an 507 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,880 Speaker 1: office when I ran my PR business, but for maybe 508 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: the past sixteen years, okay. And when I first started 509 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 1: working from home, I was in like a one room 510 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 1: studio apartment, and so I had to create s a 511 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 1: desk space that was even in that one room, so 512 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 1: it's still my bedroom. Then I moved upstairs to a 513 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,120 Speaker 1: studio apartment that had a little kitchen that was separate 514 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 1: so it was like everything was my bedroom or there 515 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: was a kitchen, and I put a desk in that 516 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: kitchen and I wrote two books in that kitchen. Two 517 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: of my first two books I wrote in that kitchen. 518 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: And it was like my back was like up against 519 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: the fridge and I had this window right there, and 520 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: you know, I was just I was just doing the. 521 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,400 Speaker 3: Best I could. 522 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,399 Speaker 1: So I think, just where, however, you can create a 523 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: space that's devoted to where you work and set up 524 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,480 Speaker 1: a desk, and if it happens to be in the 525 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 1: same room that your bed is in, then light some 526 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: sage before you go to bed. I don't mean to 527 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: sound like a total hippie, but like light some sage 528 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: because you want to clear the energy of that work 529 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: day before you go to bed. 530 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 3: I love what you said about just doing your best. 531 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 3: I think right now that's really important, don't you. Just 532 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 3: this idea of doing the best you can with what 533 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 3: you have and not judging the things that you don't 534 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 3: or a circumstance that isn't and instead of being angry 535 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 3: about what is. Yeah, this is I've had so many 536 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 3: interviews today and this is like the theme is just 537 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 3: do your best, do your best, Do your best. And 538 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 3: I just did an interview on a mom mom podcast 539 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 3: and I was just like, moms, do your best, like 540 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 3: forgive yourself all day long. 541 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: You know, if you mess up, it's good, it's okay. 542 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: Just just raw and real and move to the next 543 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 1: right action. Do your best right now, guys, do your best. 544 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: What would you say has been one of the biggest 545 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: lessons that being a mom has taught you over these 546 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: past fifteen months so far? 547 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 3: Presence? Get off that phone and be present really valuable. 548 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 3: Do you have any thing in terms of your career 549 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 3: that you have yet to do that you've got your 550 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 3: sight set on. No, but I know there is more 551 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 3: in what sense. 552 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: I just know that there is more that God is 553 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,959 Speaker 1: asking of me, and I know it's coming psychically, and 554 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: I'm just going to say yes to it because it's 555 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: what I'm being called to do. But if you were 556 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 1: to say there are more you want or think you 557 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 1: need to do, the answers, no. I feel so on 558 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: mission and I feel so on purpose, and I feel 559 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 1: like everything I've done to date is far beyond my 560 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 1: wildest dreams. And I do anticipate more, but I'm not 561 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: going to need it or want it, I'm just going 562 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: to let it come to me. 563 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 3: I know we could record a separate podcast on this, 564 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 3: so I won't have you go too deep on it. 565 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 3: But I think what could be really helpful for the 566 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 3: audience is if you had to offer about two I 567 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 3: would say suggestions on how to break addictive behavior, and 568 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 3: maybe these are tricks or tips that worked for you. 569 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 3: For anyone that feels like they're struggling and they don't 570 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 3: really know where to start, what would you offer to them? First? 571 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,479 Speaker 1: You could use that shoes again method, because what it 572 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: is is it's a thought interruption, and an addictive pattern 573 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: starts with a thought. You know, I don't want to 574 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 1: feel that I'm going to do this instead, so you 575 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: could use that shoes again method that I taught at 576 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: the top of this and continue to reprogram your thinking. 577 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,560 Speaker 1: But the most important thing to recognize about addiction is 578 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 1: that addiction comes from trauma. So we act out with 579 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: addictive patterns because we have and we have an impermissible 580 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 1: feeling of discomfort, rage, anger, uncertainty or shame and so 581 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: or there's other emotions, but shame is the biggest one. 582 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: So we act out to try to control our circumstances 583 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: so we don't have to feel that pain. The best 584 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 1: thing you could do to really heal an addictive pattern 585 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: would be to do some type of therapeutic work, whether 586 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 1: it be a twelve step program, whether it be a 587 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 1: therapy with a one on one therapist, whether it be 588 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: going into a treatment center, whether it be doing you know, 589 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: Russell Brant wrote a beautiful book on the twelve Steps, 590 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: like just whatever it may be that can help you 591 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: recognize and identify your addictive patterns and heal the core wounds. 592 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: In my book Judgment Detox, I really I think it's 593 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 1: an excellent book for addicts, as is my book Spirit Junkie. 594 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: But the goal would be to be willing and brave 595 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: enough to go to the places that scare you, because 596 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: it's those places that scare you that keep you in 597 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,680 Speaker 1: your addiction. People come to your page and they might 598 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: see a woman who is rooted in her convictions of 599 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: spirituality and wants to help as much as she can. 600 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: When you look in the mirror, what is it that 601 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: you see staring back at you. I see a woman 602 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 1: who has done a shitload of transformational work, who is 603 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 1: standing grounded in a very, very very empowered place, and 604 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: I see someone who has a lot to share and 605 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 1: a lot to give, and I feel proud of her. 606 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,959 Speaker 1: I love her, I'm proud of her. Do you have 607 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: any goals over this time that we're in the shift 608 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 1: to stay centered? Isn't that a beautiful goal though, instead 609 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 1: of saying I want to conquer everest or so many 610 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 1: of the other things that we feel so much pressure 611 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: to be just so overproductive in this time. Yeah, I 612 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 1: think that all of us have to make our primary 613 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: intention to stay centered. 614 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 3: You have an opportunity right now to offer yourself one 615 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 3: piece of advice looking back on that twenty five year 616 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 3: old girl who is struggling and coming back late hours 617 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 3: of the night into the morning. You an opportunity right 618 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 3: now to offer her one piece of advice looking back 619 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:03,719 Speaker 3: on that. 620 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 1: Now, what do you tell her? I would tell her, 621 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: don't be afraid. The universe has your back. 622 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for your time, Gabby, I really 623 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 3: really appreciate it. You're awesome. Thank you, mama. This was fun. 624 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 3: Where can they keep up with you? How do they 625 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 3: keep up with you? Give me the dats just Gabbyburnstein 626 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 3: dot com or at Gabby Bernstein on Facebook. Instagram, Twitter, Yeah, 627 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 3: that's me all the stuff. Well, thank you for all 628 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 3: that you do, and that's it. Another hurdle conquered. Catch 629 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:33,880 Speaker 3: you guys next time.