WEBVTT - Season Break Nugget 2: You’ve Shamed Me Before

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<v Speaker 1>Hey there. We're looking for couples to write into Dear

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea for a very special episode that's coming up next season.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're a couple or a throutle who want

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<v Speaker 1>to call in and get advice together, go ahead and

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<v Speaker 1>write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com to

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<v Speaker 1>get your questions answered. Hi. How are you, Catherine? Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>A'm doing great, Chelsea. What is that a different voice? Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Maybe I'm just further from the mic

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<v Speaker 1>almost like voice, just like different voices to match all

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<v Speaker 1>my different personalities, So I can't blame you, including the growl.

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<v Speaker 1>I do love the growl. Well, I have a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of updates for your Chelsea. Oh okay, welcome to one

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<v Speaker 1>of our little Mini Nugget episodes between seasons. We're coming

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<v Speaker 1>back Mate twelve for season three, but we decided to

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<v Speaker 1>brighten your day with a little missive exactly. So we

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<v Speaker 1>got an email from Michelle, whose husband had been leaving

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<v Speaker 1>her on e in her car when she was driving

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<v Speaker 1>around with Yeah, the guy who was selfish and didn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to resil her gas tank. Yes, and she like

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<v Speaker 1>ran out of gas on the highway, all these things.

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<v Speaker 1>So she said I'm happy to report our gas tanks

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<v Speaker 1>have not been hitting empty. Establishing rules has definitely helped

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<v Speaker 1>us pave a path forward and prioritize each other's needs.

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<v Speaker 1>I also think it was really helpful to have a

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<v Speaker 1>neutral third party like you all to weigh in because

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<v Speaker 1>it is an objective opinion. George does not love that

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<v Speaker 1>I aired our dirty laundry, but that'll be a topic

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<v Speaker 1>I write in another time. Thanks so much, Michelle. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, wow, success you guys. Her husband was leaving

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<v Speaker 1>her with an empty gas tank when she has two

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<v Speaker 1>small children and they were driving around and running out

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<v Speaker 1>of gas and a couple of other like thoughtless things. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just it's one of those things that like

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<v Speaker 1>it's rules, but it's also just setting up systems for

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<v Speaker 1>yourself so you are set up for success, like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>when you have those in place, and just like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>if it gets to a quarter of a tank, whoever

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<v Speaker 1>has it fills it up, then yeah, it's great. Yeah, exactly,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody is happy. Okay, Well, that's a nice update. I

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<v Speaker 1>have some stand up dates coming up too, and my

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<v Speaker 1>schedule for those of you who want to see me perform,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm coming to the Wiltern Thursday May five, two shows

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<v Speaker 1>at the Wiltern, and then Friday May six, two shows

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<v Speaker 1>in San Francisco at the Masonic. And after that I

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of dates coming up, actually New Orleans, Birmingham, Alabama,

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<v Speaker 1>San Antonio, Texas, lots of places. So please go to

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea Handler dot com for your tickets and I will

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<v Speaker 1>see you on the road for my Vaccinated and Horny

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<v Speaker 1>People's Choice Award winning comedy tour. Amazing. Okay, this was

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<v Speaker 1>Kay who wrote in on our Uzo episode with us

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<v Speaker 1>A Duba, and she had had an affair with someone

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<v Speaker 1>who was in her community who she was also kind

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<v Speaker 1>of friends with the wife, but we weren't really sure

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<v Speaker 1>how close she was with the wife and if she

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<v Speaker 1>should tell her herself. This is what she I'm so

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<v Speaker 1>glad that I remember all of these callers, because Joe

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<v Speaker 1>says I don't remember anything, that I have blackout memory,

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<v Speaker 1>But I actually have better. I have short term memory

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<v Speaker 1>and long term memory loss, which I think is pretty common,

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<v Speaker 1>especially with I think the weed. I have noticed a

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<v Speaker 1>significant uptick in your memory of things since you stopped

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<v Speaker 1>smoking so much. Yeah, yeah, you've mentioned that you've changed

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<v Speaker 1>me before Catherine. So thanks again, sorry, so cases, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for treating me with some grace in a vulnerable

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<v Speaker 1>and sensitive situation. I blocked him already on everything, including

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<v Speaker 1>his wife, which I don't know how she didn't think

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<v Speaker 1>that was shady, but he reached out on Snapchat and

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote back, please don't contact me anymore. I also

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<v Speaker 1>recently got remarried, so happily. He wrote to send me, well,

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<v Speaker 1>at least send me one last dirty pick. This is

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<v Speaker 1>what the guy she cheated with. Are so gross with

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<v Speaker 1>her dirty picks, Like that's what we want exactly? She says,

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<v Speaker 1>what the F I blocked him snap now and he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't really have any other form of contacting me. My

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<v Speaker 1>ex husband is a firefighter and the guy I had

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<v Speaker 1>an affair with is now a chief of the fire department.

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<v Speaker 1>His wife was not a close friend, but obviously we

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<v Speaker 1>hung out a lot and went to holiday parties and

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<v Speaker 1>such with the fire department, all while pretending this wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>going on. I wasn't super close to her, but it

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<v Speaker 1>does still make me feel guilty. So it was helpful

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<v Speaker 1>to hear that not only what I blow up his family,

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<v Speaker 1>but likely his job. And what Chelsea said, what he

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<v Speaker 1>does now is not my problem. I know that while

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<v Speaker 1>I was actively participating, it was my problem. But now

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<v Speaker 1>that it's been a year and a half and he's

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<v Speaker 1>still trying to reach out, I put the line in

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<v Speaker 1>the sand. I feel like he didn't really take me

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<v Speaker 1>seriously when I said I would tell her, since his

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<v Speaker 1>response was will send me one last dirty pick. Last

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<v Speaker 1>part of this is my new husband knew all about

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<v Speaker 1>the situation when we met, and it was very honest

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<v Speaker 1>with him, which that's awesome for you. Yeah, I know

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<v Speaker 1>I need to tell him, but I think he'd lose

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<v Speaker 1>his ship if he knew this guy reached out to

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<v Speaker 1>me recently, and maybe do something dumb, try to find

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<v Speaker 1>him online or his wife and blow everything up. The

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<v Speaker 1>decisions and messes we make follow us for a long time. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>good one. Never again, will I make this mistake? K? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you K for following up with us. We love updates. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>that's great, awesome, Yeah, that's a good line. The decisions

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<v Speaker 1>and mistakes we make follow us forever, especially if it

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<v Speaker 1>involves a lie. Yes, then it's like one lie turns

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<v Speaker 1>into twenty, turns into thirty, and then all of a

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<v Speaker 1>sudden you don't even know what the truth is anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh my god, believe me. I speak from experience.

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<v Speaker 1>I used to lie to men all the time to

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<v Speaker 1>get out of staff. Yeah, instead of being direct, because

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I was saving their feelings. But no, you're

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<v Speaker 1>just creating a maelstrom of like bullshit, and then other

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<v Speaker 1>people have to lie on your behalf and then they're

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<v Speaker 1>mad at you, and and it's better to just be

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<v Speaker 1>direct and say I'm not interested. That way, it's like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that person can recover much sooner rather than being duped

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<v Speaker 1>and tricked, you know, because my lines would become elaborate. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'd have to go to Peru in an emergency,

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<v Speaker 1>like arm wrestling here. You know, it's just so stupid. Also,

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to mention that I am shooting my

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<v Speaker 1>stand up special in Nashville at the rieman I have

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<v Speaker 1>two shows June tenth at the Riemans. So I hope

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<v Speaker 1>that you guys can come down and see me in Nashville,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you don't live in Nashville, make a weekend

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<v Speaker 1>out of it. Fantastic. Well that's great, and we'll see

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<v Speaker 1>you guys next week. Okay, see you later by