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Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional Professional. Hey guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. This

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Speaker 1: is your girl at eban A and as always, I

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Speaker 1: am super excited about this week's episode. Um, before we begin,

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Speaker 1: you know the routine, let's do a little housekeeping. Please

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Speaker 1: make sure to follow me on Instagram at the Professional

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Speaker 1: home Girl at the PSD Podcast, and last but not least,

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Speaker 1: at eban a Beauty. Please make sure to follow me

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Speaker 1: on Twitter at th h E pH G Underscore. Make

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Speaker 1: sure you show the web site some love at www

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Speaker 1: dot the PhD podcast dot com. And last of at least,

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Speaker 1: if you have any questions, comments, or concerned, please make

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Speaker 1: sure to email me at Hello at the PhD podcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. Now, please keep in mind that all of

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Speaker 1: my guests are anonymous. So let's begin this week's episode.

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Speaker 1: So to my guests, how are you feeling? Um? Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: like I said, like I just you know, I still

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Speaker 1: feel kind of anxious about everything that happened. Like I

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Speaker 1: think that for a while, like I've went through like

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Speaker 1: different emotions, like kind of trying to learn to accept

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Speaker 1: the things that happened and move past it. But I

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Speaker 1: think that when you speak out about things that you've

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Speaker 1: been through, like it brings like up feelings that you

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Speaker 1: thought that you would already dealt with. So I've been

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Speaker 1: dealing without again and just you know, like just going

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Speaker 1: back and forth about the things that have happened, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it kind of left me like anxious.

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Speaker 1: Like every since last week, I've been like really like

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Speaker 1: anxious and kind of worked up unfortunately, So I've just

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Speaker 1: kind of been dealing with that well. I definitely have

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Speaker 1: some questions about your mental health towards they're on in

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Speaker 1: the conversation, because I can only imagine how this situation

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Speaker 1: has been very triggering for you. But I gave my

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Speaker 1: guests a help talk because I really want her to

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Speaker 1: like tell her story and really encourage other women to

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Speaker 1: share their stories. I think that what you're doing is

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Speaker 1: very um brave. I think you're very courageous. I think

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Speaker 1: you're a dope. So I don't want anybody to make

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Speaker 1: you feel that your story doesn't matter. So I want

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Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for sharing your story

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Speaker 1: with me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to

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Speaker 1: share my story. Absolutely. So some of my listeners don't

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Speaker 1: live in New York. So I want to give a

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Speaker 1: little backstory as to how this conversation came about as

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Speaker 1: it is still going on right now, and to my guests,

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Speaker 1: please correct me if needed why I give this backstory? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: So last week it was announced that a well known

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Speaker 1: party host allegedly sexually assaulted over forty women when I

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Speaker 1: was over a hundred now and there are more women

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Speaker 1: that are coming out in other states about this particular person. Correct. Correct,

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Speaker 1: So you were you were recently sexually assaulted about this

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Speaker 1: person at a younger age, and now that you are

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Speaker 1: in your late twenties, what made you want to come

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Speaker 1: forward to share your story with us? Um? I think

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Speaker 1: that like seeing that so many other women had the

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Speaker 1: same experience as I did, it made me want to

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Speaker 1: speak out about it because I think that like I

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Speaker 1: went back and forth like a lot when I was

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Speaker 1: like younger, Like as a younger woman, I went back

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Speaker 1: and forth within myself and I was like, maybe it's

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Speaker 1: just me, Maybe it's just me tripping, or maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: over thinking with something. And I went back and forth

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Speaker 1: about it a lot. But when I started seeing so

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Speaker 1: many people coming forward, it was just like I wish

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Speaker 1: that I would have said something sooner, because if I

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Speaker 1: would have said something, then it wouldn't have been so

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Speaker 1: many people who were hurt by somebody I was hurt by,

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Speaker 1: or affected by somebody I was affected by. And I

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Speaker 1: just felt like it was time, Like you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't do anything out of spite, and it's like I

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Speaker 1: kind of watched I know, on Sunday is when everything

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Speaker 1: started happening. One of the girls said something and I

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Speaker 1: was like kind of watching everybody mentioned her. Monday, I

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Speaker 1: woke up, I've seen his name on the timeline, and

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Speaker 1: when I've seen it, like I have woke up in

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Speaker 1: the morning and my heart dropped. I was just like dawn,

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Speaker 1: like it's coming out, like you know, like I like

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Speaker 1: literally finally right like it's coming out, Like my heart

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Speaker 1: just dropped. And I seen his name all the timeline

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Speaker 1: because I thought that all along, like it was just

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Speaker 1: me um. So when I seen it, I kind of

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Speaker 1: like watched it like kind of unfull forout the day,

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Speaker 1: throughout the day, and I was like making my little

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Speaker 1: side comments like on Twitter, like I wasn't I was

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Speaker 1: alluding to, you know, me not supporting them, but I

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Speaker 1: wasn't alluding to the fact that you know, I had

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Speaker 1: my own experiences with him. So I went back and

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Speaker 1: forth all day. It literally consume my whole day, Like

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Speaker 1: I didn't do anything all that day. I sat on

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Speaker 1: Twitter unfortunately, like nine in the morning, so maybe like

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Speaker 1: eight or nine, I watched his Live with my dad

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Speaker 1: because my dad, you know, me and my dad, we've

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Speaker 1: had conversations about it and like things that happened. My

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Speaker 1: dad's pretty upset. So, UM, I watched the Live with

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Speaker 1: my dad, and UM, I don't know, it was really

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Speaker 1: triggering for me. So, like I said, I went back

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Speaker 1: and forth about it all day, and I finally decided

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Speaker 1: like around maybe ten o'clock. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: now is the time to speak up, Like I think

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Speaker 1: that I've read something. And it was like, if you're

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Speaker 1: quiet or if you're silent about the things that you

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Speaker 1: go on, your complicit And I took it as like,

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Speaker 1: you know, your silence is agreeing or you're just as

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Speaker 1: guilty as the person, like you know, if you don't

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Speaker 1: say anything and you know something to be true, and

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Speaker 1: just me being who I am, I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I only speak on things that I know. And I

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Speaker 1: was just like I kept telling my friends. I was like,

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Speaker 1: these women aren't lying, Like I have the same experience

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Speaker 1: with this person. While you was watching this, what your dad?

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Speaker 1: How did your dad feel? And I was upset and

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Speaker 1: my dad, my dad was the reason I actually said something,

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Speaker 1: Like my dad was like pushing me. He's like, you

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Speaker 1: can't not say anything anymore. He was like, it's just

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Speaker 1: it's not okay. What he's doing is isn't okay, and

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Speaker 1: what he's doing is wrong. And my dad, you know,

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Speaker 1: he's a very like vocal person about like sexual assault

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Speaker 1: and you know, predatory behaviors and stuff like that with women.

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Speaker 1: My Dad's always been like that. So my dad was like,

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Speaker 1: my dad was like, you know, now is the timing

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Speaker 1: you need to say something because what happened isn't right

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Speaker 1: and you've been quiet about it too long. And I

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Speaker 1: was just like telling my dad. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't I live a very private life. Like I'm

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Speaker 1: a very private person. I put out like what I

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Speaker 1: want to be known, but I'm not very I get

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Speaker 1: along with everybody, but I'm like, I just I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to put myself in my private life out on

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Speaker 1: Front Street. But literally when I tweeted him what I

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Speaker 1: said and what I sent the girl. You know, um,

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Speaker 1: what I sent her it was because my dad told me, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, now is where you need to stand up

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Speaker 1: and say something because it's not right. When you know,

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Speaker 1: God bless your deck. You did the right thing. I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you, because you just never know who you help.

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Speaker 1: You never know who. Oh she encouraged by sharing your story,

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Speaker 1: Like we have to start calling these niggers out, like

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Speaker 1: like I just don't understand this whole like rape culture,

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Speaker 1: and like if a woman said that something happened, we

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Speaker 1: have to question like that. It's just so fucking disgusting

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Speaker 1: to me. And like I said, I didn't even want

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Speaker 1: to use that word because I don't like I don't

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Speaker 1: forgive myself just like victim, Like I don't look at

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Speaker 1: myself as like someone who's experienced like that worried because

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Speaker 1: I feel like that word is so heavy. I just

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Speaker 1: feel like this was my experience and this is something

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Speaker 1: that I was affected by from that person. So let's

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Speaker 1: start from the beginning. So how did you meet this person? Um,

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Speaker 1: we have some mutuals and they like it was like

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Speaker 1: kind of so we have some mutuals, like followed them

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Speaker 1: follow me um on social media from like if you're

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Speaker 1: the mutual and um, yeah, that's how I met him.

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Speaker 1: So I know I read that you said that y'all

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Speaker 1: went on a date. So how was it date? This

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Speaker 1: funny because it really wasn't even supposed to be like

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Speaker 1: a date when I had followed him. It was initially

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Speaker 1: because I was interested in what he was doing, and um,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't interested in like really dating him. I was

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Speaker 1: actually dating somebody at the time. UM, I end up

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Speaker 1: with because I want to help with my business. I

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Speaker 1: was like younger, I was trying to get into the

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Speaker 1: business road, and I just I kind of was looking

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Speaker 1: for like um mentorship, Like I wanted like guidance. I

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Speaker 1: was new to coming out to New York, Like I

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Speaker 1: would come up you all the time from Baltimore, and

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Speaker 1: I just kind of want to guide in. So that

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Speaker 1: was my initial That was my initial intention. Like it

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Speaker 1: wasn't like, you know, oh my god, this guys how

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Speaker 1: like I'm trying to bag him, like you were just

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Speaker 1: trying to Like that was like my intention, Like he

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Speaker 1: would you know, make comments and it was like you know,

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Speaker 1: I would be I was trying to keep it friend Mead,

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Speaker 1: but it was still like, you know, that was in

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Speaker 1: my intention initially, So when we met up, it was

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Speaker 1: just like you know, I was I was kind of

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Speaker 1: thrown off by it because I was like not really

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Speaker 1: expecting that from him, you know, and up until that point,

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Speaker 1: it was like he was really pleasant until our first interaction.

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Speaker 1: And then what happened when your first interaction, because I

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Speaker 1: know I read that he started blacking out, right, So, um,

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Speaker 1: actually I came into a town where um but guy

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Speaker 1: but I was dating Um. He left and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I told him I was going to meet my friend,

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Speaker 1: which was Chris, um right, but I didn't want Chris

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Speaker 1: to like know the hotel that I was saying as,

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Speaker 1: so I gave him the address of the hotel like

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Speaker 1: up the block from the hotel that I was saying at.

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Speaker 1: So when um and I actually wasn't even going to

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Speaker 1: meet him, like it was just like he kept blowing

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Speaker 1: up my phone like he was calling me back to

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Speaker 1: back to back to back to back as with my boyfriend. Remember,

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Speaker 1: from was like, you know, why is he calling me

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Speaker 1: like this? I was just like, you know, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I was trying to like kind of

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Speaker 1: play it off. Um. I was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: because it's so you. It was really not like it

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Speaker 1: wasn't my intention to do that, which is kind of

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Speaker 1: like why I never really said anything. Um, so he

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Speaker 1: was like blowing up my phone. I wasn't going to

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Speaker 1: hang out with him like at all. But eventually, like

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Speaker 1: I said, my boyfriend left. I told him. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to meet my friend whatever. So

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Speaker 1: he left. I gave him cursonally addressed to the hotel

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Speaker 1: up the street, and like I said, we were meeting

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Speaker 1: just to talk and talk, like you know, kind of

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Speaker 1: connect build. I was my attention to connect the build.

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Speaker 1: So I gave him the address to the hotel of

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Speaker 1: the block and I'm walking, I'm walking off the block

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Speaker 1: to meet him at the hotel. He's walking down the

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Speaker 1: block because he kept asking me where I was at,

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Speaker 1: and it was like we met outside and he was like, yo,

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Speaker 1: where are you coming from? You weren't saying at the

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Speaker 1: hotel and I was like, you know why, Like I

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Speaker 1: kept asking why, And I was like, I gave you

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Speaker 1: the address to where we could meet at what you

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Speaker 1: wanted to go get something to eat? And he was

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Speaker 1: like but why would you lie? Why would you lie?

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Speaker 1: Like he kept calling me a liar. He was like,

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Speaker 1: you're being childish? Why would you telling me to go

220
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,240
Speaker 1: out there? And like I said, I didn't expect this

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Speaker 1: from him, so I was just like, you know, kind

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Speaker 1: of thrown off by it, and I'm like trying to me,

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Speaker 1: I'm very passive, Like you know, when someone's very confrontational,

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Speaker 1: I try to be like more passive because I don't

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Speaker 1: like confrontation. I don't like friction any of that. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, let's just go get something like whatever,

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Speaker 1: Like I gave you the address. We go and sit down,

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00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,199
Speaker 1: and he was like, where's the restaurant at He's like, actually,

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Speaker 1: there's one right here. Was scoring to hear which was

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Speaker 1: actually the hotel that I was staying at. Like we

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Speaker 1: walked down it was the restaurant in the hotel that

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Speaker 1: I was staying at. Um. He sat down to the restaurant,

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Speaker 1: like I said, and um he said what he said

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Speaker 1: to me, And I started laughing because it was just

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Speaker 1: like who is this guy? Like, you know, like I

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00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,079
Speaker 1: was like, no, he's not for real. And I'm texting

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Speaker 1: my best friend on the side, and I'm like yo,

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Speaker 1: like this thing is crazy, like he really bugging and

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00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,800
Speaker 1: I was laughing, like she said something back, and I

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00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 1: don't I don't remember specifics, like I said, um, she

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00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,720
Speaker 1: said something back. He was talking while I was texting

242
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,960
Speaker 1: her and she said something and I bust out laughing,

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Speaker 1: like I'm laughing at my phone. But he just started

244
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Speaker 1: black and I thought bust out laughing. And I don't

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Speaker 1: know if like I threw my drink on him or something,

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Speaker 1: because I remember he called me like a bit, like

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Speaker 1: he was like your immature something something else, like just

248
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Speaker 1: he was going off like he was black. Um. I

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00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,040
Speaker 1: don't really remember specifics, but I just remember like you

250
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 1: started blacking and I was like, na, you're being disrespectful,

251
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,520
Speaker 1: and he was like something some something gap too, bitch.

252
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Speaker 1: I used to have a gap when I was younger,

253
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Speaker 1: before I got my teeth done. Yo. You know what's

254
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,319
Speaker 1: so funny. When I was doing my research on your story,

255
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, is this her? Because I don't see no gas.

256
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,560
Speaker 1: I used to have a gap, like a big guy.

257
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Speaker 1: So like he's talking to me now, like he talking

258
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 1: about hot to me. So I'm like all right, like alright,

259
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,840
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. So I got up to leave out the restaurant,

260
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Speaker 1: and he was like, I don't know if I threw

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Speaker 1: the drink on him. I don't know like the specifics,

262
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,680
Speaker 1: but I remember, like the waiter he came by, I

263
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,120
Speaker 1: kind of like stopped her while he's like going back

264
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,440
Speaker 1: and forth and I'm texting my best friend and she's like,

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Speaker 1: is everything okay. I'm like, yeah, everything's fine. And I

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Speaker 1: asked her for like tea. I dun team when I'm

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Speaker 1: damaking like we always drew tea. I'm like, yeah, tea.

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Speaker 1: So I asked for that, and I think that he

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Speaker 1: had got a juice or something and I asked for water,

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Speaker 1: so um, I think that all she brought over was

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Speaker 1: like the tea before he started blacking and I started laughing.

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Speaker 1: So when I got up to leave, I was like,

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Speaker 1: now I'm out. And when I got up to leave,

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00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,720
Speaker 1: it was like I went out and he's still carrying

275
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Speaker 1: it on. I'm on FaceTime with my best friend and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm on. I walked up to the desk,

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Speaker 1: get the like the reception of his desk, and I'm

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Speaker 1: telling him. I'm like, you know what's going on. I

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00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,360
Speaker 1: was like, this guy, if he comes over here. I'm

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Speaker 1: not with him, Like, this is what happened? I was like,

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Speaker 1: this was supposed to be a business meeting. He um,

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00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,000
Speaker 1: it took a turn to the left. I'm not with

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Speaker 1: this guy. Just please don't tell him anything about me.

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00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,679
Speaker 1: He's he's not a good person. Um. So the guy

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Speaker 1: who was talking to was with a reception his desk.

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Speaker 1: He was big, big boy, so he was like, is

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00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,839
Speaker 1: everything okay? Do you want me to walk you to him?

288
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, you just walk me to the hotel.

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00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,360
Speaker 1: The hotel I was standing you needed a key to

290
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 1: even get access to any of the n When I'm

291
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,280
Speaker 1: going over to the door, Chris comes flying around the

292
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:29,240
Speaker 1: corner from in the hotel like he was like, you know, budding,

293
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 1: still wilding out and um but how is this even possible?

294
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,680
Speaker 1: And y'all Joe know, which is why it was like

295
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 1: so absurd. Um. The guy walks me to the other bid.

296
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 1: I go upstairs. Chris is still calling my phone, he

297
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 1: still texting me crazy ship. And my best friend was like,

298
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,520
Speaker 1: what is wrong with him? And I'm like, I don't know,

299
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,840
Speaker 1: it's funny because it's just if we were laughing about it,

300
00:14:52,880 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 1: like something so crazy it sound on the unbelievable you know. So, um,

301
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,560
Speaker 1: all right, yeah, I'm on face some of her because

302
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 1: it's still texting me, still calling me. He was telling

303
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,320
Speaker 1: me he's going to order food and in my house

304
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 1: und my hotel that I'm want to pay for. He's

305
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,400
Speaker 1: going to get me kicked out of my room. And

306
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you're not. I already talked to him

307
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 1: about you. They already know, like you're not doing anything.

308
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 1: He um. He still goes back. He went back into

309
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Speaker 1: the restaurant. He tried ordering food, but they called it

310
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,680
Speaker 1: and they had told me up to my room, like

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00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 1: they were telling me what he was doing is he

312
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,320
Speaker 1: was doing it. So he tried to water and food.

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Speaker 1: They never brought him up the food. I don't really

314
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 1: know any specifics outside of what he did in the hotel,

315
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,080
Speaker 1: but I know that they told me that he was

316
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 1: trying to order like a hundred dollars worth the food

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00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 1: under my name, like it was like seventies, so close

318
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 1: to a hundred dollars worth of food. But they were

319
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,920
Speaker 1: if he felt that he was he just kept saying

320
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,920
Speaker 1: a guy like get their friends. He's like doubing it.

321
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,400
Speaker 1: You know. He was like you don't even know her

322
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 1: room number, like why would I put the end of there?

323
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 1: Whatever whatever, So that happened. Um, I blocked him because

324
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,480
Speaker 1: I was like, he's bugging and my best friend was like,

325
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,120
Speaker 1: you know, block him, like he's just it's nuts, like

326
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,760
Speaker 1: block him. So I blocked his number or whatever. Um,

327
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,080
Speaker 1: and I think I did like a block to unblocked

328
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,880
Speaker 1: like conboy or something like that on Instagram. So it

329
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:14,080
Speaker 1: was like we want to following each other. Um, Chris

330
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 1: has this weird ship that he'll do, like he'll come

331
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 1: on my page like he'll like something she tried to

332
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: get my attention, Like he'll like like a bunch of ship,

333
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,680
Speaker 1: or he'll like message me just to like kind of

334
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,800
Speaker 1: see if I do it, or he'll like he'll follow

335
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: me and follow me like a little ship like that.

336
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,720
Speaker 1: So that was like the first time that he did it.

337
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,480
Speaker 1: He comes back on my page a few days later

338
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 1: or what was it, a few weeks later and he's

339
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,720
Speaker 1: still doing the same ship. So he texts me from

340
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 1: a different nun So he text me from a different number,

341
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,880
Speaker 1: and um, he was apologizing, like I said, for the

342
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 1: same thing or for what he did. He said that

343
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: that wasn't like him. He got beside itself because he

344
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,920
Speaker 1: was angry. Then he goes on and telling me, like,

345
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,680
Speaker 1: you know, I'm immature whatever. He was like, how you

346
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 1: handled it with childish? I felt like you were being

347
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 1: dishonest to me, which was kind of true, and he

348
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 1: was like, you could have, like if you weren't interested

349
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 1: in me, you could have just been honest and tell

350
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 1: me you weren't interested instead of trying to play me.

351
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,879
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, but do you think that

352
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,679
Speaker 1: do you think that was really true? What do you mean, like,

353
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 1: do you think he was? I mean, I kind of

354
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:19,439
Speaker 1: felt bad because it was like I really didn't have

355
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 1: any intention of every dating and I was dating somebody

356
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 1: else that I was with for a couple of years, so, um,

357
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 1: but I feel like he didn't even that was my intention.

358
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 1: So it was like, I don't feel like I ever

359
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 1: owed him an explanation like I didn't. I didn't. I

360
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 1: don't feel like I owed him an explanation like that

361
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 1: wasn't my intention ever, So it did not feel like

362
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,359
Speaker 1: it needed to be a point of conversation because that

363
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 1: wasn't my intention with him. M hm. So um. So,

364
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 1: after he apologized what happened next, like you feel like

365
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: his apology wasn't there. Um. So I was just like whatever,

366
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,199
Speaker 1: like let's just trying to be cool. So me and

367
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 1: him we were back to like texting, just being ajil. Um.

368
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 1: I came out again, like it was like a month

369
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 1: or so later, like it was this happened in January,

370
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,760
Speaker 1: so that I came in like February, like the beginning

371
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 1: of February or whatever again, so um, yeah, hang out again.

372
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,600
Speaker 1: So I was just like all right, well cool. So

373
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,159
Speaker 1: this time, like I had met him and it was

374
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 1: like the same same type of thing. Um. He came

375
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 1: through the door and he was really like aggressive, like

376
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: he tried to kiss me. Not thrown off by I

377
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: was like Chris, like chill, um, hey what did you

378
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 1: did you have me at the end of the restaurant

379
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 1: or by like the same place that I was saying

380
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 1: not before, because it was like I had like a membership,

381
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,879
Speaker 1: like I'm part of the program or whatever. So we

382
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 1: met up again, Um, same ship, just really like pushy,

383
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,320
Speaker 1: Like he was just like really pishy. It was like

384
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 1: when instruments he came through, like it was like he

385
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: didn't really give me an opportunity to like talk. Um.

386
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 1: And then what happened like kind of unfolded, Like it

387
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:05,640
Speaker 1: was just, like I said, very pushy, very forceful. Um. Yeah,

388
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: so it's just like immediately like even like as soon

389
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: as he came in, like it really wasn't like any conversation,

390
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 1: Like it was just like even though he had said

391
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 1: that he was sorry for initially like how things did

392
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 1: when it was just like he didn't come for anything else,

393
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 1: but to have sex like that was like maybe very clear,

394
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 1: and I was like kind of thrown off by it because,

395
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 1: like I said, you know, I thought that this was

396
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 1: somebody like who was genuinely interested in what I was

397
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: trying to do, like as a young woman trying to

398
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 1: break into my career. I thought it was someone that,

399
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,199
Speaker 1: um who actually cared about like what I had going on.

400
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 1: But it was like the completely opposite. Did he say, like,

401
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 1: so what happened after that? Like did he say anything?

402
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 1: Because I know you expressed how you felt uncomfortable and

403
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 1: that was not your intentions to have sex with him,

404
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 1: so after say anything? When but after he sexually assault

405
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: to you, like like did he just get up and leave?

406
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 1: Like because I'm just trying, I think a lot of

407
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,880
Speaker 1: times so I've been doing our conversations with men, and

408
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 1: this is a question to have for you later. But

409
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 1: I just don't seem to understand how somebody can just

410
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 1: do that and just be okay with it. Like after

411
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,199
Speaker 1: the fact, he was like laughing about it, and I

412
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 1: was like being weird, Like I was like I felt

413
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 1: really I like wing like back room and I was

414
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 1: just like, you know, I was like kind of I

415
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 1: would see myself and he was like, why are you

416
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: being weird? And I was like, I I gotta do,

417
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 1: Like you could, you could go, you can leave. I

418
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: got something I gotta do. And like after it happened,

419
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 1: I ended up calling like my best friend and I

420
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: told her what happened, and she was like, you're not dead, asked,

421
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 1: and I was like yeah, like I don't know, like

422
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,199
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, Like I don't know

423
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 1: what to do, Like that's just what I kept saying,

424
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: like I don't know what to do. I don't know

425
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 1: if I'm tripping, like I don't I don't know, I

426
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 1: don't know what just happened. And um, I follow him.

427
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 1: I follow him on social media, and um, that was

428
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: like the end of that. Like we didn't talk for

429
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: a while after that. I think that, like I said,

430
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 1: Chris type would have this thing that he does, like

431
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 1: where if I don't like speak to him for a

432
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: while or like we don't talk, um, he'll do the

433
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: liking pictures thing and then he'll follow me to try

434
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 1: to get my attention or whatever, or he'll just pop

435
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 1: up in my stories randomly, like it's just like a

436
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: little ship like that. Like it would be like like

437
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,400
Speaker 1: it's been continuous like chip that he does like that,

438
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: you know, for a while now, Like if I post

439
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 1: something like if I'm on vacation somewhere like mad people

440
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 1: on my page, Chris will be on my eventually, like

441
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: liking a pictures. He was doing it a few months ago,

442
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: like when I was tolding to make it like Key

443
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: was liking pictures and I put it like in my group.

444
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 1: I was like, y'all look at this. And then like

445
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: a few like a few days after, like I blocked him.

446
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, like I don't want to

447
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: keep going in a cycle with somebody, like I feel

448
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: like I have to put a stop on it, you

449
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So that was it for a while,

450
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: and I think that we didn't talk for a while

451
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: like after it happened, but it was like he would

452
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 1: continuously do like this little ship like in pictures whatever,

453
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: And I tried to be cool about it because I

454
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 1: didn't know if I was like being like weird or no.

455
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: It was why do you but why don't you keep

456
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: feeling like you was being weird because you didn't do

457
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: nothing wrong? Like I just felt bad like about this situation,

458
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: Like I knew how I felt, like, I know that

459
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: that's not what I wanted to happen. I said, I

460
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: know multiple times, and I just it was weird, Like

461
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: it was weird. It was weird yourself for that because

462
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: that wasn't your fault. Yeah, but it's that was like

463
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: part of like what I went through, you know what

464
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like I kind of have to learn to

465
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: process like what happened. It's a lot to process too,

466
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: especially you being at such a young age. You moved

467
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: to New York. He was hoping to make relationships within

468
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: the industry that you wanted to be in, and somebody

469
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: took advantage of you and that I felt like, Um,

470
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: even in my like older it's like I haven't had

471
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 1: like many like people that I like sex with like

472
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: many like Pardners. This was like the second person like

473
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: I ever dealt with. And I was like, Okay, he's

474
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: older than me. I'm like, maybe this is how guys acts.

475
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just maybe I just don't know, like I

476
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: don't know no better, like maybe this is how she

477
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 1: really is. So that was like something that I was

478
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: like dealing with with, like I didn't know if this

479
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: is how people really work. Yeah, it's not you that.

480
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 1: The whole situation is very traumatizing. Um, how did you

481
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: find out that he recorded you during sex? I like

482
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,959
Speaker 1: to look back and I've seen it, And I asked him,

483
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: like I look back and I've seen it, like I've

484
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: seen like the flash and I've seen it. And I

485
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: turned and I looked back, this is behind and I seen.

486
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 1: I was like, what are you doing? And you just

487
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: you pushed my face down like he was just like yo,

488
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: you bugging, like chill, just relax. Nah, that's disgusting. Ge.

489
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 1: So we I know y'all both live in the same city,

490
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: so I can only imagine how nervous you were running

491
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: into him. Um, that's funny because I do everything like

492
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: I plan to avoid him. My friends like they they

493
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: all grew up like with him or whatever. So, um,

494
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: how does that make you feel. I've never said anything

495
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: like I just wouldn't go around anywhere that he would be. Like.

496
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: I know, like a few months ago, my girlfriends like

497
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: they didn't know because I've never really the girls that

498
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,640
Speaker 1: I hang out right now, they never really like went

499
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: into detail what happened, but they all like knew that

500
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 1: me like I always used to him he was a creepy.

501
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's a creep he's weird. I'm not going.

502
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,479
Speaker 1: So they wanted me to go to um do say pellus?

503
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: It was like the one that they did at the

504
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: mark Lays. Everybody wanted to go. They were trying to

505
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 1: get me to go with him, and I kept saying no. Um.

506
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: They were like, you always want to come out, Why

507
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: do you not want to come out? And I'm like,

508
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 1: I just don't want to go. So um, I've pretty

509
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: much avoided him, Like I tried the whole being cool

510
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 1: with him thing and trying to be cordial. Um, I

511
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: just I think the order I got. I was like,

512
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: you know, this isn't something that I'm going to keep

513
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: denying myself, like I know better, but seeing somebody like

514
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,199
Speaker 1: kind of being embracing, you know how they are. It

515
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: was just like weird for me because I'm like, I

516
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 1: don't get how nobody else sees this but me. Right

517
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: why I saw it a while ago because I have

518
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: a friend that he tried and she snuffed them. And

519
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: that's when I was like, oh no, Like and if

520
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,159
Speaker 1: I was like if he tried it with her, I

521
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 1: know he tried it with multiple other girls, and I

522
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: know it's going to only be a matter of time

523
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: before people start telling these stories. Yeah. Um, so more

524
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: people are becoming aware of this story and of this

525
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: situation that's going on with this particular person. What are

526
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: your thoughts on him still being active on social media

527
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: and calling everyone that's the sharing their stories cloud chasers.

528
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 1: I just think you did. Like that's just like simply said,

529
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: I just there's no way around it, because like I said,

530
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 1: and um, it's not one person just telling forty different stories.

531
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: Is forty different women and a few that I've spoken

532
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: to personally who have had similar experiences, Like I remember

533
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: when me and him had gotten into it before. Um,

534
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: I remember the last time like I ever liked seen

535
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: him whatever. Um Chris said he wanted to meet me.

536
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: He wanted to apologize for what he did. Um, he

537
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: just ver're gonna feel it him like he wanted to apologize,

538
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 1: he wanted to have a face to face conversation. And

539
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: I wanted, Chris, what do you want to talk to

540
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: We could just text about it. He was like, no,

541
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 1: I need to see face to face so you can

542
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 1: understand or you can feel my sincerity. Um. I'm like, okay, Um,

543
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: I have at school, but we can meet before I

544
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 1: go to school, at school and work. So um met him,

545
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 1: same same ship, same instance, like Chris, Like just same

546
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: same thing. He um. Then he tried to make me

547
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: feel bad, like when I was like talking about like

548
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: the interaction that happened at first, Like I was like

549
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,479
Speaker 1: using very like I said very specific words. I was like,

550
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: you like coercion, Like I said this specifically. I was

551
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: like I didn't want that to happen, Like I was

552
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: genuinely just trying to build and I was in a relationship,

553
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 1: like I wasn't looking for anything, like I was very

554
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 1: uncomfortable by what you did, just using very specific things

555
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: like words, And he said, you know that I was

556
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: being immature, childish even tell me like I needed to

557
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: have a better choice in men. When I was talking

558
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: to one of the women, she um she said screenshots,

559
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: she said, screenshots of a conversation that she had with Christy.

560
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,479
Speaker 1: She's saying the same thing, like same specific things, like

561
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: she didn't feel comfortable. He made it uncomfortable. She's using

562
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: words like coercion when she's speaking to him too, and

563
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: he's telling her the same exactly. So when I seen it,

564
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: I was like I wasn't tripping, like this is ship

565
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 1: to really happened, Like this is something that's something abo.

566
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: It was like deja vu, like seeing it come from

567
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: another woman and it's the same type of experience that

568
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 1: she had. But how did it make you feel when

569
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: you saw other one that coming out and sharing their

570
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: stories that were similar to yours? And I felt bad because,

571
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,239
Speaker 1: like I said, like I just I don't know, I

572
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: felt really shameful, like for years, like I was just

573
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 1: like I should have never met up with him, and

574
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: I knew better because I was actually, like I said,

575
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship and I felt like I saided,

576
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 1: like I just felt guilty about it because I should

577
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: have never ever, Like I tried to open up myself

578
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: to anybody or put myself and I felt like I

579
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: put myself in a position to like what you can't

580
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 1: that you gotta change that narrative though. You can't keep

581
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: telling yourself that because it really wasn't your fault. It

582
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: wasn't your fault. I'm like, so, I'm from New York,

583
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: but I was reading Tennessee and I moved back to

584
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: New York maybe like nineteen years ago, and I used

585
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: to meet with people with the same intentions that you had,

586
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: just trying to get my foot in the business, just

587
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: trying to meet people in network in this net. But

588
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's like if you

589
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: say no, no means no, and you know what I'm saying,

590
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: Like you didn't do nothing wrong multiple times, Like it

591
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: wasn't just like one of It's like you can't fight

592
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: no nigga off for you. You can try, right, but

593
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: it wasn't like one time. It was like multiple times

594
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,719
Speaker 1: in the same situation, which is the point that I

595
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 1: was getting at when I like kind of when I

596
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: was saying what I said today, like it just wasn't

597
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: one thing. You did this multiple times, So when I

598
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: liked was saying what I said, like it was just

599
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: like I just I want I felt like I know

600
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: better and I know you for myself and the experiences

601
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: that I had with you, and I know what I

602
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: know for myself about you. These women aren't lying and

603
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: I'm not lying. So I just felt like I said,

604
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: I needed to speak up because I know what I

605
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: went through, like I had to go through therapy, and

606
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: this is something that I dealt with like on the back,

607
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: like havately, like with my family, and I just I

608
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: don't want to be quiet about it anymore. So do

609
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: you plan on do you plan to move forward with

610
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: personal charges? Yeah? Or can't you good? Yeah? Because I just,

611
00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: like I said, I kind of feel like I don't

612
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: know how I feel. Obviously, No, you know how you feel.

613
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: I just think that one is a very triggering experience,

614
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: Like for you to happen when you was in your

615
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: young twenties and now you're in you're late twenties, like

616
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: that's a bit like that's a six year seven year difference,

617
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 1: So for you to have to like actually relive it,

618
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: it's very triggering because now you're going through it all

619
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: over again, and even though you're not going through it physically,

620
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: you're going through it mentally and emotionally, and that's that's

621
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: a lot. That's exhausting. Yeah, it is. I'm just like happy,

622
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 1: like I have like the support system that I do have,

623
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: Like I have like really good people in my life

624
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: who just like you know, always supporting me and just

625
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: really are behind me right now. And I think that

626
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: that's helpful because I think that the first time when

627
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, like I isolated myself from everybody.

628
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: Why do you think some women don't feel comfortable with

629
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: coming forward with sharing their stories on sexual thought? Um,

630
00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: Shane gil Um? I know me. I was just like

631
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 1: you know, I came from a good family, and I

632
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: don't think that there was ever anything that my parents

633
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: could have did that would have showed or prepared me

634
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: for dealing with something like this. And I didn't even

635
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: want to admit it, like something like this happened, and

636
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: like I said, I'd never considered myself like the victim

637
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 1: of something like that. I was just like this ship happened,

638
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: and the ship was weird and it wasn't right all right.

639
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: Why know, since you shared your story, you have experienced

640
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: a great deal of victim blame it. What are your

641
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: thoughts on that because I thought that was pretty fucking

642
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: disgusting how people are blaming you for the situation. It's

643
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: a nice way to put it, um afraid, because it

644
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: is what it is. Like I said, UM, it's not

645
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: going to change like anything that ever happened. And these

646
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: people like who have something to say, they don't know

647
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 1: me personally, don't have a way to contact me or

648
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: incite people who um who um just trying to ride

649
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: whatever way they feel like. It's left like they know

650
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: me and they shouldn't know better, but they still want

651
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: to try to ride whatever they can to try to

652
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: keep it going. I don't know, it's just it's weird.

653
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: It's weird, Like I said, I just when you know

654
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: better and you know how people are, and you've been

655
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: around this person and you've seen how they are, for

656
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: you to still support somebody or trying to discredit women

657
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: is disgusting when you know this. I'm just curious. Was

658
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 1: it mostly from men and women that was victim blaming?

659
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: There was no women. Actually it was more men. M M,

660
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: Like I haven't had any women who even approached me.

661
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 1: I think it's like I haven't had any approach me. Actually,

662
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: it's just men because I've been seeing the women going

663
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: hard on social media. Man, I'm like, yes, yeah, I've

664
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: done a lot of support from women, like more than

665
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: I ever thought that I was get I really wasn't

666
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: looking for anything when I said what I said. I

667
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: was just trying to share my experience with this person.

668
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: And but I just feel like, you know, I've got

669
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: like a lot of support from like people, which I appreciate.

670
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: I think that we're living in a better road and

671
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: better times because I feel like, um, I don't really

672
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: feel like I've gotten like much kicked back from what

673
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: I said, besides from him, like, and I think that

674
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: if it was every time, like people would have questioned

675
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: what we said if it was coming from somebody who

676
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: they considered to be more credible. But in this instance,

677
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,719
Speaker 1: like I feel like I felt hurt, like for once,

678
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: like people actually listen to what I have to say

679
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: instead of giving me pushback on what I said. No,

680
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 1: that's really good. At least you know you're not in

681
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: this by yourself. What are your thoughts about rape culture

682
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: within our community? I just want people to start talking

683
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: about it, like, I just want people to have honest

684
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 1: conversations about it, because when you don't talk about it,

685
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: you're making women, young girls like little girls, men who

686
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: have even been affected by it, like you're making themselves

687
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: inside lens. And I think that it's not right because

688
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: people go on years from now and they're still dealing

689
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: with it. My dad, um, my dad dealt with this

690
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: as like a child, and he didn't talk about it

691
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: for years until he was in his late thirties, and

692
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: that's when he started counseling and he started making us

693
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: how conversations about it. And it was kind of odd

694
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: because at the same time he was going through it.

695
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: This is something that I experienced, and this is why

696
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 1: I shared what I shared with my father. We went

697
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: through the same journey together. But it made me realize,

698
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: like certain conversations need to be had because this isn't

699
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 1: something that isn't happening. It's happening, but not enough people

700
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: are talking about it. And that's why I felt, like,

701
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: you know, I don't feel like this is my this

702
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: isn't my life purpose, but it's something that I don't

703
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 1: I will never be quiet about anymore. Mhm. Does it

704
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,760
Speaker 1: bother you that there has been a lack of support

705
00:34:52,840 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: from the black media with this particular story. I didn't

706
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 1: even trying to stay away from all of that. I don't.

707
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: I wish they would say something, but it's just like

708
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 1: what with them saying anything else like add to it,

709
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: Like I don't. I didn't. I didn't expect anything or

710
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: anybody to really like kind of stand up for us.

711
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: So I'm not surprised that they're not saying anything. People

712
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 1: pick and choose what they want to speak on a

713
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: right No, I agree? Um, So how did this affect

714
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: your mental health? And where are you at with your

715
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: your mental health now? I feel like add emotional like

716
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 1: the last few days, like I am already mad sensitive,

717
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: but I don't know, like I just like I don't

718
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: mean through like a lot, Like i'd just be like

719
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 1: trying to like not to like try or like think

720
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 1: about it and like focus on like what I have

721
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: to focus on right now, um, and not let it

722
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: consume you. And you're a therapy now, Yeah, how's that

723
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: going on? It's being really good. I love therapy too.

724
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,399
Speaker 1: I'm an advocate for therapy, like I would like grow

725
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 1: daily like I've been in therapy for four years, so

726
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 1: I just it's something that helped me develop as a person.

727
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 1: So untually, I feel like I'm good. Just it's been

728
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: a lot to like deal with this all over again.

729
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 1: This is something that I never kind of wanted to

730
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: talk about, Like I just always felt like when things

731
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 1: happen like it happens, I don't really like talking about

732
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: as much. I don't like talking about myself. I don't

733
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: like talking about stuff like this. M hm. So for um,

734
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: for our male listeners out there, I really want to

735
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 1: take the next few minutes and just educate them more

736
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: on this topic. Because I did a lot of conversation

737
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: with my male friends and a lot of them work confused.

738
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: So what if some advice you would give to our

739
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: male listeners when it comes to communicating more about consensual sex.

740
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like you should educate yourself as

741
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: much as possible. Like I feel like a lot of

742
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,280
Speaker 1: things happened because people don't take the time to educate

743
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: themselves and no better or learn to be better. So

744
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: when you learn, when you learn, you grow better. So

745
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: I think that take the time to educate yourself on

746
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: what you can do to be better have better interactions

747
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: with women, like in sexual settings, because if you don't know,

748
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: then you don't know better. How to be better, how

749
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: to not make someone feel away in experiences or settings

750
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 1: like this, a lot of people just learn what coercion was.

751
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 1: Last week, I was just about to ask you, could

752
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: you elaborate on the turn, Um you want me to

753
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: like talk about my personal take on it. Yeah, and

754
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: lack the time in because I feel like when I

755
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 1: was watching the person's lives, he come out and he

756
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 1: know what it means, Like, are you serious? It's part

757
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: of the problem exactly. You don't know what something is.

758
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 1: Then you are cognizant of your actions and what you're

759
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 1: doing it. So I think it's just something forceful, like

760
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 1: if someone like it's forced, that's the only greatest thing

761
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: that I can say, is somebody force Like if someone

762
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: tells you something and they mean no, that's what it is,

763
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: especially like in a sexual setting, if someone gives you

764
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: a word and they say no, that's what it is.

765
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean convince me, that doesn't mean try again

766
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: in a few minutes. If someone says no, that's what

767
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 1: it means. Right, And it doesn't have to be something physical.

768
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,479
Speaker 1: It can be like you said, it's gonna be something

769
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: verbal like motion. You just gotta respect people emotion, like

770
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: you just gotta respect people energy. Like I always say,

771
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: if you gotta ask a girl for something, that's your answer. Yeah,

772
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: I agree with that, Like I said, like you said,

773
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 1: if you have to ask somebody, then the answer probably

774
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 1: is no. But I think that like in my experience

775
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 1: is like that was of the only experiences I've ever

776
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: had in I never said that yes and that should

777
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: have said something like that was that was a lot

778
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 1: mm hmm. One of the things you think men can

779
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: do to make women feel more comfortable just overall communicate, Like, um,

780
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 1: I think that that's the biggest thing. We have to

781
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: learn to communicate more effectively amongst each other. I think

782
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: there are a lot of things happened and it's nothing

783
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 1: wrong with communicating, right. I think that a lot of

784
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,919
Speaker 1: things happened amongst men and women because we don't take

785
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: the time to like communicating, communicate to each other, or

786
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: learn how to be effective communicators. Like once you learn

787
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: how to listen and take in with somebody else is

788
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: saying instead of giving them a response, then you're learning

789
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: to hear what they say and giving them an opportunity

790
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: to express themselves openly. But a lot of people haven't

791
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 1: been taught to necessarily communicate. I think the communication is

792
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 1: a good thing. And that's how I think for the

793
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: male listeners, Like I just treat women with respect, Like

794
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 1: I just don't understand how niggas can be so disrespectful

795
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 1: and you come from a woman like like that's just

796
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: it really drives me crazy. Like even if you're not

797
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: even feeling shorty, like be respectful, like do things to

798
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: tell her that you wasn't liked to treat your mother,

799
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: or you treat your sister or your own daughter that Like,

800
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: I think that that's like another not just excuse me,

801
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: but I don't think that it should be I'm going

802
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: to treat this woman with respect because I have a

803
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 1: mother or a daughter or a sister. Just treat a

804
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 1: woman with respect because she's a woman. We shouldn't have

805
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: to just person, because she's a human. She's a person

806
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 1: that shouldn't be minimized. I only respect women because I

807
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: have a mother. It's just about it. That's still a

808
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 1: woman treating like you would treat your man's that's that's

809
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: a woman. Yeah. If your boy toad you know, or

810
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: he told you he didn't want to do something, that's

811
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 1: where he met like you're gonna respect that just because

812
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 1: she's a woman doesn't mean it's any different. All Right, No,

813
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: I totally agree. Um, last, but not least, where did

814
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 1: you learn from this? I'm just very weary of people now,

815
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: Like I think that I went through the whole phase

816
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: of like being around people and like being outside. But

817
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: I'm like now I'm older, like you. I told my

818
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: friends like a while ago, like when this topic came

819
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: up with us, I was just like, you know, a

820
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: lot of things are you learned living in New York,

821
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: Like a lot of things like smoking mirrors, Like you

822
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: gotta learn to differentiate between the two. And I think

823
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 1: that that's like what I learned from everything. It was

824
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: just like you see, you see what people show you,

825
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean that's always reality. Like I watched

826
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: this person who I had the sistererence with, like I

827
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: knew who they were and how they were, um, but

828
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: people seeing them in a different light light. There were

829
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 1: people I knew who were like this guy's mad successful,

830
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: we eatd ship whatever, bro. I But I know how

831
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: I was just with smoking mirrors, and I've learned like

832
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 1: he's not the only one like that. You know what

833
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like there's a lot of smoking mess in

834
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,879
Speaker 1: New York. You gotta learn to stay focused on what's

835
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 1: important because this ship is not real life, like social

836
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: media is not real, or what you think of people

837
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: isn't always the reality. Like you have to get to

838
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,919
Speaker 1: know people for themselves and who they are and stay

839
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 1: focused on what's important to you because a lot of

840
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: this ship is fading, Like a lot of people just

841
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 1: want to be around to be seen, um be heard,

842
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: but they really don't have ship going on for themselves

843
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: outside of just keep saying that. I keep saying that

844
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 1: people love supports. People love to support perception. They do

845
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: support perception, but that's what it is. Sometimes it's just that.

846
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 1: And I can't lie because I I've been part of

847
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: like the social media thing. But the thing is, like

848
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: everything that you see on social media is a reality

849
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: for me. Also like using it to tell your twoth,

850
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 1: don't use it to be manipulative or live a life

851
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: that isn't he you so right? I don't know, like

852
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 1: I said, I'm just I'm very weary of people now,

853
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: Like that's like if anything, because I know of it,

854
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,399
Speaker 1: a lot of things that people see as a lot

855
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: of smoking mirrors. It's not real. My home girl was

856
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 1: up here comparing herself to what he was doing. This

857
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: was like years ago when this story came out. I

858
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: called and I was like, you see why you think

859
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,959
Speaker 1: can pay yourself to people. I was like, you can't

860
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 1: support perception. I'm like, you never know these people until

861
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: you know these people, and you still might not know

862
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,280
Speaker 1: these people, and that's kind of like just they focused

863
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: on yourself. Remember, like the guy, like most previous explay

864
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: friends who I was with last year, he was like

865
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: talking about he would he showed me Chris's Instagram and

866
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: he never knew anything to happen between us, but he

867
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: was like look at his page, da da. I just

868
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 1: been watching him for years like he's just ain't knowing

869
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 1: about it. And I was just like I told him.

870
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, everything is in ours with it seems.

871
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: He's like, what do you mean. I was like, you

872
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: learn one day everything isn't what it seems. What I

873
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: was like thinking to myself the other day, I was like,

874
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 1: I bet they probably were like this is what she

875
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: was talking about, Like this is why she was saying that.

876
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: She was saying, listen, God, don't bless no mesh child,

877
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: and what you're doing, the dark will always come to light.

878
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 1: So that's a fact. But like I said, I don't

879
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,320
Speaker 1: wish and dad or nobody. I'm not a spiteful person.

880
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: I don't body mine nobody. I only said what I

881
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 1: said because I felt like it was a time and

882
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: an opportunity for me to speak up about something that

883
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: I need to be true for myself. Right. Well, I

884
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 1: am super proud of you. I'm so happy. I can

885
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 1: tell that this situation has been very uncomfortable because I

886
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 1: can hear any of your voice every time we talk,

887
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: but your story, I don't know. No, No, You're fine,

888
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: I can I mean listen, I can only imagine. But

889
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:57,479
Speaker 1: like what you're doing is definitely gonna help the next

890
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: woman out or the next girl out. So You're story

891
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: is definitely encouraging people. I feel like when you really

892
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: called him out on it and you claimed your story,

893
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: so many people were supporting you, like I clean and

894
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: get to your page without going through so many other

895
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: paying and that was like I just wanted to like

896
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: kind of say something because I felt like he was

897
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: like trying to undermine it as we all were just

898
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: lives and I was like, well, no, and if one

899
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: of us say something like at least he can't just

900
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 1: keep trying to say that there isn't no, this isn't real. Right, Well,

901
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: thank you so much for sharing your story with me.

902
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: If y'all have any questions, comments, or concerns, please make

903
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: sure to email me a hello at the PhD podcast

904
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 1: dot com. And until next time, everyone than later, you're welcome.

905
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 1: Thank you,