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Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight, we got it for you. Here.

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Speaker 1: It is the strong Barry LETTA subject he wants me,

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Speaker 1: but not the children. Here Stephen Shirley, I am a

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Speaker 1: forty nine year old female married to a forty nine

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Speaker 1: year old man. We have five children and five grandchildren.

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Speaker 1: Here is the problem my current husband, he says, I have.

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Speaker 1: I have five children and five grandchildren. Okay, oh, okay.

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Speaker 1: Here is the problem. My current husband is not the

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Speaker 1: father of my children. I married this man when my

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Speaker 1: children were young, so he's been in their lives for

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Speaker 1: a very long time. My youngest son just graduated from

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Speaker 1: high school and we'll be going away for college. So

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Speaker 1: now my husband thinks that we are done raising children

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Speaker 1: and from now on it will be just the two

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Speaker 1: of us. He has said that he that we don't

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Speaker 1: have to worry about the kids anymore because they are

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Speaker 1: all grown and have their own lives. So am I

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Speaker 1: not supposed to So am I not supposed to be

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Speaker 1: involved with my children since they are no longer living

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Speaker 1: at home. My children range from ages thirty two to

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Speaker 1: eighteen years old, and all five of them live in

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Speaker 1: different states. I want to see them and my grandkids

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Speaker 1: as often as I can. In fact, I'd like to

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Speaker 1: move closer to them. My husband does not want anything

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Speaker 1: to do with them period. He doesn't want to visit them,

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't want them to visit us. He said

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Speaker 1: that they don't need to come for the holiday. What

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Speaker 1: the hell he really thinks that because they are adults,

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Speaker 1: I am supposed to forget that they exist. I understand

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Speaker 1: that these our golden years and we should be enjoying

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Speaker 1: quality time together and traveling the world. But our travels

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Speaker 1: should also include trips to see my children. If he's

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Speaker 1: really serious, I may have to spend my golden years alone.

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, can you please help me? Well, your letters

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Speaker 1: started off nicely, so I'll put it like this. Your husband,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure, feels like he's done his job and it's over.

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Speaker 1: These were now his kids. He raised them anyway, He's

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Speaker 1: been in their lives since they were really young. So

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Speaker 1: he's done and not being their biological debt. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: the ties are cut. He has no connection really to them.

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Speaker 1: It seems he cut them off and his concentration is

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Speaker 1: now on you and you guys this future together. He

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Speaker 1: wants to live. He wants to live his life, you know,

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Speaker 1: and do all of those things. But now I think

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Speaker 1: that he's being very unrealistic when he says the children

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want the kids to come and see you,

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Speaker 1: or he doesn't want you to go see the kids.

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Speaker 1: How is that? I mean, really, that's a bit unrealistic,

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Speaker 1: especially if it makes you happy to see your kids.

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Speaker 1: You're his wife. He should want to see you happy

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Speaker 1: and do those things that make you happy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's very unrealistic to say that. He really thinks that

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Speaker 1: because they're adults, you're supposed to forget that they exist. No,

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Speaker 1: that's not the issue, and he knows that's not the issue.

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Speaker 1: They are grown and they are living their own lives.

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Speaker 1: That part is definitely true. But you guys got to

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Speaker 1: come to some kind of compromise in terms of when

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Speaker 1: you see the kids and when you go see the kids,

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Speaker 1: even if you just go by yourself, you have to

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Speaker 1: see your kids. These are your kids, Steve, you're a parent.

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Speaker 1: Now he wants me, but not the children, Okay, that

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Speaker 1: I can relate to. I don't want mine either, though,

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Speaker 1: And on any day between the seven of them, you

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Speaker 1: can come get folk just like that. So that much

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Speaker 1: I understand but we are parents. You're forty nine, your

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Speaker 1: band's forty nine. You got five children and five grandkids.

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Speaker 1: He's not the fault of the kids. Your youngest son

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Speaker 1: just graduated high school going away to college. So now

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Speaker 1: your husband thinks that we've done raising children and from

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Speaker 1: now on it to just be the two of us.

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Speaker 1: He had says that we don't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: the kids no more because they all grown and have

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Speaker 1: their own lives. Okay, are you kidding me? You really

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Speaker 1: think that's how it goes? Do you know that you

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Speaker 1: are a parent for life, for life. You may not

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Speaker 1: be a husband or a wife for life, but once

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Speaker 1: you become a parent, you're a parent for life. Now,

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Speaker 1: there are some good ones out there, and they are

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Speaker 1: some bad ones out there. I got it, you, sir,

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Speaker 1: are about to turn into a bad one because you

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Speaker 1: don't get it. You are in your goal and years.

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Speaker 1: You said that later in the letter. Your kids are

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Speaker 1: from thirty two to eighteen. All of them live in

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Speaker 1: different states, and you want to see your kids and

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Speaker 1: your grandkids. Matter of fact, you want to move closer

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Speaker 1: to them. Your husband don't want nothing to do with them, period.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to visit them, and he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: them to visit us. He says, they don't need to

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Speaker 1: come for the holiday. That's what the lady type, don't

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Speaker 1: need to come for the holidays. What the hell? What

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Speaker 1: the hell is right? Come on, man, are you for real? Bro?

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Speaker 1: You're gonna just act like you never met these people?

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Speaker 1: Like you? You? They meant nothing? He going to college.

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Speaker 1: I said, he gotta come home right. He's not ready

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Speaker 1: to live on his own. And I got that. The

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Speaker 1: kids range from thirty two to eighteen. Man, do you

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Speaker 1: know how much advice they need? So how much help

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Speaker 1: they need, financial support they need? Come on, man, that

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Speaker 1: ain't how this work. Man, are you crazy? And he

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Speaker 1: don't want them to vidit? He don't want them to

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Speaker 1: come for the holidays. What the hell? He thinks that

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Speaker 1: because they are adults, I'm supposed to forget that they exist.

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Speaker 1: That's the craziest part of them. You gotta be nuts.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way. It's crazy for you to

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Speaker 1: think that. Come on, man, I unders say that these

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Speaker 1: are our golden years. You ain't before the nine hell

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Speaker 1: golden years. But if that's how you want to look

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Speaker 1: at it, okay, cool, And that we should be enjoying

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Speaker 1: quality time together and traveling the world. Plans should also

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Speaker 1: include trips to see my children. If he's really serious,

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Speaker 1: I may help to spend my golden years alone. What

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Speaker 1: you say, Steve, I said, will back right. Well, the

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Speaker 1: youngest one and graduated. The boy is five kids, none

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Speaker 1: of them he is now he going while they graduated.

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Speaker 1: They're gone. We threw with them, they out. He's saying, no,

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Speaker 1: they have their own lives. They're adults. They should be

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Speaker 1: able to make it on their own. I want to

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Speaker 1: see my grandkids as offer I can. It's what the

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Speaker 1: woman says. In fact, I want to move closer to him.

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Speaker 1: My husband doesn't want anything to do with them period.

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Speaker 1: He don't want to visit them. He don't want them

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Speaker 1: to visit us. He said, they don't need to comfort

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Speaker 1: the hog. What to him? They and ladies said, what

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Speaker 1: to him? Yes, no, we don't come for the holidays.

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Speaker 1: What is Christmas about? Exactly? He really thinks that because

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Speaker 1: they're adults, I'm supposed to forget they exist. I understand

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Speaker 1: that these are golden years and we should have been

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Speaker 1: enjoying quality of time together and traveling the world. But

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Speaker 1: I traveled playing to the car trips to see my children.

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Speaker 1: He's really serious. I may have spent my golden years

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Speaker 1: along Stephen Sherley. Can you please help me? He wants

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Speaker 1: to check out. In essence, he wants to check out.

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Speaker 1: He wants to say that I've done my duty. I

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Speaker 1: raised these kids to the best of my ability. I've contributed,

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Speaker 1: and now they're gone. That's it. I'm chilling. I wish

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Speaker 1: that was the case. But honey, why don't you want

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Speaker 1: to see the kids? I mean, did something happens. We've

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Speaker 1: already seen the kids. Well, yeah, you've seen them since

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Speaker 1: they were young, I mean, and they live their own lives. Now.

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Speaker 1: I saw all I needed to see when they was here.

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Speaker 1: I'm todd. I've been working, paying Bill punkin to college

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Speaker 1: and were covering up dream I bought that boy a

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Speaker 1: carbon machine, all that dum and honey, we appreciate it

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Speaker 1: so much. But these are my kids. I have to

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Speaker 1: see them on the holidays. That's what the holidays of

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Speaker 1: four family holidays. Yes, family like Thanksgiving, like Christmas, like

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving like Christmas. We ain't going down now. I've already

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Speaker 1: made arrangements for them to come here here, here to

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Speaker 1: the house, I'm you know, getting the big Christmas tree

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Speaker 1: and everything. They're just got ready to We just got

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Speaker 1: rid of the damn boy. And what the hell are

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Speaker 1: you're inviting them back for? They don't think we won't them. Well,

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Speaker 1: he has to have somewhere to go when he's out

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Speaker 1: of school for Christmas break school? An't he down at

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Speaker 1: one of the men a national school? But he I

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Speaker 1: want him to come home. I missed them. I carried

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Speaker 1: them for nine months. This is my blood. See, you

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Speaker 1: raised and the kids to be none but chumps. That

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Speaker 1: wrong right here. He's a great kid. He's in college now,

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Speaker 1: great kids were let him feed for herself. God make it.

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Speaker 1: You know he ain't gonna get a job. Wow, I

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Speaker 1: don't understand. I mean, you were so good with them

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Speaker 1: when they were young and helping me raise them. Now

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's like, who are I don't know?

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Speaker 1: You was just counting the day. What do you mean

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Speaker 1: you were counting the day till they got out this house?

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Speaker 1: But you were so good. They call you daddy, You're

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Speaker 1: not even there. She never won't call me Daddy called.

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Speaker 1: They can't find that. Well, you know, I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to let you know that. I really appreciate that you

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Speaker 1: were there for me, there for my kids. I know

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Speaker 1: you do, Baby, I appreciate now I want you to

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Speaker 1: be here for me. Well, I am here for you,

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Speaker 1: but I'm also are you all the time? All that

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Speaker 1: the mom days over with? No, the mom days are

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Speaker 1: never over with. They is over what they're gonna No,

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Speaker 1: they're not they ain't No, they're not call you keeping

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Speaker 1: fighting them back leaving where they a girl? These are

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Speaker 1: my kids and this is my house too. They're coming

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Speaker 1: home for the holidays. Okay, I put my foot down

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Speaker 1: them getting heat, and then were you fight them back

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Speaker 1: over for the holidays. It's just the people being here.

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Speaker 1: We ain't gonna where. We ain't gonna be able to

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Speaker 1: put a tree up. We're gonna put a tree up

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Speaker 1: right over there. But when are you you put a

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Speaker 1: tree up over there? And then all these people coming

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Speaker 1: to the house. We're gonna be decorated. It's just five

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Speaker 1: kids and five grandkids and there's ten people. Look at

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Speaker 1: the little room. Well, then maybe we need a bigger

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Speaker 1: house because I'm not getting rid of my kids. Oh

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Speaker 1: bigger house. Yes, it's a bigger house. Girl. We can

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Speaker 1: finally got all the people out of here. In here,

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Speaker 1: we need a bigger house. It's just for a few

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Speaker 1: days during the holiday's, honey, we don't want to sing

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Speaker 1: Christmas carols? Yeah, no matter fact I won't. Just how

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Speaker 1: stage saying side so they can? They already outgrowed it.

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Speaker 1: And who's gonna we need a bigger house? Who's gonna

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Speaker 1: help me cook? That's what we love doing that, me

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Speaker 1: and the girls cooking together, well, preparing Christmas dinner and

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving dinner. Huh, you ain't he been here? Cool? We're

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Speaker 1: gonna stop your damn Joe the woman and that you

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Speaker 1: don't try to slide in and you can cook. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna end the damn staring woman and the letter can cook.

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Speaker 1: We matter try to slide in. And who's gonna help

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Speaker 1: you cook? That we've been trying to find out s.

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Speaker 1: Two thousand. I don't know what the little Mexican man

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Speaker 1: what his name is? Nest to black dude? Are you Steve?

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Speaker 1: Are you still the man in the letter? Make up

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Speaker 1: your mind. I'm not man in the letter, but what

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Speaker 1: you try to slide in with a cooking compliment by yourself?

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Speaker 1: And I ain't gonna let you do it now? Surely

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Speaker 1: you can't cook. Gonna help me cook? Anybody? I'm speaking

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Speaker 1: as the woman in the letter Greek husband who hates kids? Now,

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Speaker 1: like no, and why is that? What did they do

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Speaker 1: to you that I don't know about? Because it seems

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Speaker 1: like to me you were getting along fine with them

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Speaker 1: because you was never there. Oh, you never knew what

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Speaker 1: was going on behind them doughs. What did they gang

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Speaker 1: up on you or something? Say you're not having that

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Speaker 1: one night? And that boy to eighteen year old boy,

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Speaker 1: he caught me on my side and he climbed up

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Speaker 1: on and he was choking me. Oh wow, Yes, she

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Speaker 1: didn't go about honey, this is gonna be so much fun.

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Speaker 1: Come on now for a few days. No, ru okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I can't do it. Okay, I can't messle my holiday mission.

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Speaker 1: What am I supposed to say when they ask me

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Speaker 1: where's their dad? Where's dad? And that you know they

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Speaker 1: call you dad, where's daddy? Huh? What am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to say? You ain't gonna say nothing called they ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna be in here? All right, we gotta go, We

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Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. Email us or Instagram. That's

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Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey f Ammer.

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Speaker 1: You can go to my girl Shirley. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: this Day morning show.