1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it. 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: I'm an og Okay start time podcast host. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 2: I don't care. I'm making sure that you stay here 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 2: for the next two minutes. 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 3: All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 3: before we get into this episode. 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, we got some maths coming up. Just stick around. 8 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 3: Stick around. 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: My boyfriend demands gifts for his daughter, so I muted 10 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: his notifications. 11 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 2: Seeza, I can have some more. 12 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: I Female thirty two went on an eight day business 13 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: trip to Japan. I work as an external consultant for 14 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: a company. This would be a visit to scale our services. 15 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: Me and three other colleagues would visit, but we would 16 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: be at the same site for only two days until 17 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: we were spread out to other areas. Was very excited 18 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: until I told my boyfriend Brian thirty eight of eight months, 19 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: by the way, this comes from Fragrant Range sixty three 20 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: and if you had just meet your own stories, go 21 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: to our slash Okay story time suburd it. So his 22 00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: reaction was very not positive. I asked what's going on, 23 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: and he said he was spaced out because of the 24 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: situations at his job. But he reassured me that everything 25 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: was fine. Days later, he asked if I could take 26 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: them to the trip to Japan. This caught me off guard, 27 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: and I said I needed to think about it. And 28 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: then he said he would want his daughter to come 29 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: along too, and then his mom and his dog. And 30 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: I think his cousin's interested. 31 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, totally, totally yeah. 32 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: I understand his point. She's seventeen, female, loves anime and 33 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: has an impressive knowledge on how some very niche characters. 34 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 1: But also I have my own kids, four and five, 35 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 1: and I would rather share that breakthrough with them, although 36 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: realistically taking slash bringing them would be unprofessional. My accommodations 37 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: were paid for by the client, and that I had 38 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: already confirmed. I got a very nice accommodation, but it 39 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: was definitely booked a single traveler. My colleagues had other rooms. 40 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: Bringing his daughter would require a separate bedroom or a suite. 41 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: I would not go back to cancel the accommodation or 42 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: ask for larger space unthinkable, unprofessional, or do anything to 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: mess up the schedule. When I told Brian, he said 44 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: I should be able to ask for some changes. I 45 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 1: also realized that he was ready to pay for any 46 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: of it, since he said he would reimburse me later. Ah, 47 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: I'm financially okay, but the whole idea of this trip 48 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: is to make more money, not spend it and potentially 49 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: be unable to recover it. Also, this was never a 50 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: vacation or anything, and he said things that showed me 51 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: he didn't understand. So I believe that me and my 52 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: team and I were on a tight schedule. I could 53 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: surely spend time with him and his daughter after work, 54 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: but while bringing them to another time and not in 55 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: that situation. I didn't ask the client at all because 56 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: I was embarrassed. Yeah, this is a boyfriend of eight 57 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: months of a year or two. 58 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not like married or like related or something. 59 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 1: Also, I began to worry about his sense of humor. 60 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: Uh oh, Keon knows where this is going. I think 61 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: we all know where this is going. 62 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:20,239 Speaker 3: I see you. 63 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like I've mastered Japanese business etiquette, 64 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: but I took the time to learn, and Brian sometimes 65 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: does things that get him in trouble. We would be 66 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: having dinner with our client and colleagues, and I could 67 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: either have him stay at the hotel. Not a great 68 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: way to treat a partner or bring him along if 69 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: that was permented awkwardly, especially if it messed up the 70 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: accommodation schedule. When I candidly expressed his concern, he got 71 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: extremely pissed off and gave me the silent treatment. This 72 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: stressed me out, and I told him. I left the 73 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: airport while he was still not talking to me. We 74 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: only talked a few times while I was abroad. His 75 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: daughter did not reply to any of my messages. I 76 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: don't know if he falsely told her that she was 77 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: getting an early high school graduation present trip or if 78 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: she was just mad at me. I got a hold 79 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: of a huge plush anime character and took good selfie, 80 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: asking if she liked it. No answer. About one or 81 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 1: two days before I flew back, he started texting me 82 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: with request He wanted me to get xyz this that 83 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:32,479 Speaker 1: for his daughter and nieces. I got very angry because 84 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: she didn't even reply, but he had no problem asking 85 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: for more and more stuff, and that put me off. 86 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: I told him that his daughter never replied to any 87 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: of my messages, and he didn't say anything about it. 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 1: I ended up silencing his notifications and buying presents for 89 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: only my family. When I got back, all I wanted 90 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: to do was spend time with my kids, since I've 91 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: never been away from them for that long. I kept 92 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: putting off seeing Brian Friday when we met for pizza, 93 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:07,039 Speaker 1: and he looked uncomfortable. He said I let his daughter 94 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: down by allowing her to think she was getting the 95 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,039 Speaker 1: plush toy, and it was also in disbelief when I 96 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: confirmed that I didn't bring her anything. I told him 97 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: that I didn't think it mattered since she completely blanked 98 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: out on me. We had it back and forth, but 99 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,919 Speaker 1: there was no resolution. I feel more and more lost 100 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 1: than when this whole thing even started. I feel like 101 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 1: he thinks a gift for his daughter was a solution 102 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: to everything, and I disagree. I'm doing my best to 103 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: Cree a good future, and I'm a bit on the 104 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: fence about continuing the relationship. I care about him and 105 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: his kid, but I'm afraid of being used, slash dragged down, 106 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: and the way he prew and the way he pressured 107 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: me really made me uncomfortable. I'm also a bit hurt 108 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: because I had built a relationship with his daughter and 109 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: not getting a single reply to any of my messages 110 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: is honestly a bad look. I'm tipped to think that 111 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: she's either angry because I didn't bring them along, or 112 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: that maybe he told her to ignore me. I'm planning 113 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: on any things because I need clarity, but also maybe 114 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 1: I'm being unfair. I think there's the possibility that he 115 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: got overly excited and got carried away, but I know 116 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: he will likely be unable to pay me back. Am 117 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: I the a hole? 118 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 4: Well? I mean, does he need to pay you back 119 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 4: for anything? Because I thought she didn't get anything for 120 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 4: his daughter. 121 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: Ultimately, Uh, that wasn't the thing. It was if he 122 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: comes along, I'll put you back for the plane tickets. Yeah, 123 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: I'll put you back for the hotel. 124 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 4: So it's kind of like if he did, if she 125 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 4: did get something for his daughter, it's like he wouldn't 126 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 4: even be able to. 127 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, he might not be able to. He might not 128 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: be able to trust that. 129 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: We got some comments commenter, never bring a family on 130 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: a business trip, not even to Orlando. A woman I 131 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: worked with did and we all thought it was weird. Yeah, 132 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: and then she spent her evenings with them instead of 133 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: on group outings. Completely unprofessional. Yeah. I hope he says, 134 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: that's exactly what I didn't want, didn't want to, didn't 135 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: want didn't make any sense at all. Commoner says, in Japan, 136 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: respect is very important. Bringing them would show you do 137 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: not respect this business meeting. And it seems he does 138 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: not know how to behave in many situations. Opie says, yes, 139 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: I've told him many times. I don't know of any 140 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: sending where what he wanted would be okay. In top comment, 141 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: says Lady Scorpio, his demands were insane. Cut your losses 142 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: and don't feel even a little bit guilty. This guy 143 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,559 Speaker 1: showed Opie a laundry list of red flags. Opie needs 144 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: to move on and we got an update. All right, update, 145 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 1: Thanks to everyone for your advice. I wanted to clarify 146 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: about the plush toy incident. His daughter and I used 147 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: to spend time together some afternoons after school while her 148 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: dad was at work. I did give her spontaneous gifts 149 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: that she enjoyed. We would email and text each other 150 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: through during her time with her mom joint custody. When 151 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: I sent the picture, I wanted to know if it 152 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: was up her Ally I would have bought it if 153 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: she said she liked it, but got the silent treatment. Instead. 154 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: I know some of you think that I was in 155 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: the wrong for not bringing her anything, but that part 156 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: of my decision to leave to him comes from feeling 157 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: like they acted like an exclusive clique where others can't 158 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: be accepted unless they give in to them. She left 159 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: me unseen and left me asking hello like an idiot. 160 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: We broke up last night. 161 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 2: Boom did it. 162 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: He wanted to come to my place, but it didn't 163 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: allow it. I drove to his place instead and delivered 164 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: two packages that had been delivered at my PO box 165 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: and told him that I would turn any mail or 166 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: package addressed from him from now on. I didn't get 167 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: out of my car. The conversation was very short, but 168 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: the verious hour. I told him that he acted too 169 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: greedy in Vain for me to feel any interest in 170 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: prolonging the relationship. He tried to explain that his daughter 171 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: was hurt because she had her hopes set on the trip, 172 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: but I said this was for a lesson for her, 173 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: so that she learns to work for her own things 174 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 1: when she becomes an adult instead of piggybacking her way. 175 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 1: And also this is on him as a father. Yeah, 176 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: I took off to avoid more back and forth. I 177 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: asked him never to go contact me again and block 178 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: them both already changed my locks, changed all my streaming passwords, who, 179 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: et cetera. And that's the end of that story. 180 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 4: My boyfriend has a really cleany best friend. I'm getting suspicious. 181 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: It's time to take a couple steps back best friend. 182 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 4: So this is a really long story, but basically, I 183 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 4: don't trust my boyfriend and his best female friends relationship, 184 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 4: and I think they've either had spicy sleep before or 185 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 4: dated ooh. 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: Best female friend. 187 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: Oh, don't worry about her. 188 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from a seventeen eighty six 189 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 190 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime Separate it. So We've 191 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 4: been dating for about six months now and I'm really 192 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 4: head over heels in love with this guy. He's amazing, 193 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 4: really good looking, and the best spicy sleep. 194 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 1: I've ever had, probably had a lot of practice. 195 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 4: I really don't want to lose him if I'm just 196 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 4: being paranoid, but he's my first ever proper relationship, and 197 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm missing red flags. After two 198 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 4: months of dating, I noticed that she facetimes him a lot. 199 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 2: I'm talking at least three times a day. 200 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 4: Oh, and they always seem to make goofy faces at 201 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 4: each other and act super close and silly, way different 202 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 4: to how he is with me three times a day. 203 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,560 Speaker 2: Facetiming anyone is a lot. I tell that to the 204 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 2: guide in the room next door. 205 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 4: They've been friends for five or six years, and they 206 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 4: met through someone else. She is the only person on 207 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 4: his phone with an emoji next to her name is 208 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 4: a crown and then a heart. You have to run 209 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 4: no pie, And he told me that the reason why 210 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 4: that is is because her nickname by everyone is Princess, 211 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 4: so it's all always been that way. 212 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 2: Since they met. He can take the heart off, though. 213 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 2: Emoji's fine, hard emoji different message. 214 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 4: I didn't really care until one day we were in 215 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 4: a shop together and I asked if they ever dated before, 216 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,599 Speaker 4: and he casually told me that they were going to 217 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 4: date before, but she slept with one of his friends, 218 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 4: so they never did, and she regretted it and actually 219 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 4: had feelings for him, but he didn't feel the same way, 220 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 4: so they just continued being friends. That made me worried, 221 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 4: especially because they text in FaceTime all the time and 222 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 4: she calls him. 223 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 2: Even if it's three am, just to chat. 224 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 4: Or if she needs help with something, and he always 225 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 4: drops everything to speak to her. They have a secret 226 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 4: SOS code with each other, which means that they have 227 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 4: to drop everything to help each other out, even if 228 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 4: we are on FaceTime, and he will tell me that 229 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 4: she has an SOS and will call me back later. Today, 230 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 4: he was on FaceTime with her and she asked where 231 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 4: he was, and he said that he was out with 232 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 4: a friend. And then later another friend called him a 233 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 4: guy and he told him he was with me, his girlfriend. 234 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 4: I asked him why he told her he was with 235 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 4: a friend, but to the other guy he specifically said girlfriend. 236 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 4: He told me to drop it and that I was 237 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 4: being paranoid and didn't remember. 238 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 2: Then he admitted that he hadn't really told her much 239 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 2: about me, although. 240 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 4: She knows me roughly, because he didn't want to tell 241 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 4: all of his friends unless we were one hundred percent serious, 242 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 4: so he only has told a few friends. However, he 243 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 4: has another female friend who he told about me, and 244 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 4: he's really close to her. 245 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: So I think he's lying, Opie, So do I? I 246 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 2: do doo? 247 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 4: I was playing with his phone he was on mine 248 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 4: and as a joke, we were going through each other's pictures. 249 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,079 Speaker 2: He didn't mind. He allowed it and it. 250 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: Was just a joke. I don't like this, it's a 251 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: dangerous joke. 252 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 4: And we were laying on bet when I found a 253 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 4: video she said him of her having spicy sleep with 254 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 4: the guy. I asked him why she would send him 255 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,599 Speaker 4: that if they are just friends, and he said that 256 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 4: it was years ago with an ex of hers and 257 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 4: she sent it to him as a joke. That was 258 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 4: super weird anyway, I guard it, but still felt like 259 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 4: something was off, so I went back on his phone 260 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 4: later when he wasn't looking. I know one hundred percent 261 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 4: this is wrong, but I felt like he was lying, 262 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 4: and I found messages from him to her saying that 263 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 4: they have to tone down their facetimes to a friendship 264 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 4: level because his aunt is coming over for the weekend, 265 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 4: even though it was me that he was seeing over 266 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 4: the weekend, so he lied to her about me being here. 267 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 4: I couldn't confront him as I didn't want him to 268 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 4: know that I went through his phone. Then he invited 269 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 4: me out to spend the day with his friends, one 270 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 4: guy and a girl, and I asked if his female 271 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,079 Speaker 4: best friend would be coming and he said. 272 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: No because she's sick. I also thought that he was 273 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: lying and hiding something. 274 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 4: I feel like they have dated before or she has 275 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 4: feelings for him, and I don't trust them too together, 276 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 4: especially as he does photography as a side job and 277 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 4: has taken pictures of her and his other friends in 278 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 4: lingerie for his portfolio at his house. He showed me 279 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 4: all the picks and he has a separate Instagram for it. 280 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,439 Speaker 4: I told him that I don't trust her because of 281 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 4: the spicy sleep video and the fact that he's seen 282 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 4: her in lingerie because of his side job. So he 283 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,199 Speaker 4: finally agreed to tell her about me on the phone 284 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 4: in front of me, and I told her to reassure 285 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 4: me that they are just friends and told me that 286 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 4: whatever friendship she and him have is none of my 287 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 4: business and that I should just trust whatever he says 288 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 4: or break up with him. He didn't even back me 289 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 4: up or anything or tell her off. He hung up 290 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 4: and we didn't speak about it, and I left because 291 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 4: I was so upset. Good get out of there. I 292 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 4: just feel super insecure and worried. And he always tells 293 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 4: me that I'm being paranoid and that if he wanted 294 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 4: to date her, they would already, but now I feel 295 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 4: super betrayed and like he doesn't even stand up for me. 296 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 4: And I went home and cried and haven't spoken him since. 297 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 4: Should I give him an ultimatum stop being friends with her? 298 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 4: Or am I just being a paranoid, crazy girlfriend and 299 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 4: we have an update? 300 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 2: But was your answer? 301 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 1: Hope you understand that this is your first proper relationship. 302 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: And yes he looks good, he does the thing really good. 303 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: But there's other guys out there. There's other possibilities out there. 304 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: If you go out and you pursue yourself in better ways, 305 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: you will find someone that actually values a relationship with you. Yeah, 306 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: and loves you and doesn't love their girl best friend 307 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 1: and is going on this weird romantic journey with him 308 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: while you're kind of in the middle of it. 309 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 4: He texted me all day begging me to come over 310 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 4: so that he can explain. I came all the way 311 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 4: to his house, crying my eyes out, asking him to 312 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 4: tell me the truth about his female friend, and I 313 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 4: admitted that I saw the text between them both about 314 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 4: me being an aunt. Then he said that I must 315 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 4: have been confused and said that he'd never sent her 316 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 4: that I went back on his phone and he deleted it. 317 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 4: Then I cried and asked him why he allowed his 318 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 4: friend to talk to me like that, and he said 319 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 4: that when I left, he called her back and told 320 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 4: her that the way she spoke to me was unacceptable, 321 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 4: and even deleted the emojis next to her name to 322 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 4: try and prove it. 323 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 2: That's one hundred percent a lie. One hundred percent a lie. 324 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 4: I cried and said that it wasn't good enough and 325 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 4: that he needs to get her to apologize on the 326 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 4: phone because I didn't believe him. He was reluctant, and 327 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 4: finally he called her and when she answered, he was 328 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 4: being super weird and didn't even want to say that. 329 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 2: I was in the room. 330 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 4: Then she asked why he was calling and why he 331 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 4: was acting weird, and she was like, oh, are you 332 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 4: with your aunt? So then I got so fed up 333 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 4: and shouted and asked him why she would ask that 334 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 4: unless he didn't send her the text. 335 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 2: Then he got flustered and was like, Oh, I don't 336 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 2: know what you're talking about. There's no aunt. 337 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 4: And then his friend was like, Oh, I know it's 338 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 4: that girl you're with again. And I asked her outright 339 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 4: to apologize, and she refused, saying that she had. 340 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 2: Nothing to be sorry for. 341 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 4: Then he feebly tried to ask her to apologize, saying 342 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 4: where I was coming from clearly just to please me, 343 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 4: not really meaning it, and she could tell. Then he 344 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 4: said that he can't force her to apologize and he 345 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 4: can see both sides. Then he tried to say that 346 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 4: it was my fault and I shouldn't have been snooping 347 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 4: through his phone and that I shouldn't have shouted at 348 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 4: his friend at as his girlfriend, even though she was 349 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 4: rude to me. 350 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: First, girl, if you don't break up with him, dude, 351 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: I'll do it for you. Yeah, Like, do you not 352 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 1: understand how deep this guy's going. He's trying to juggle 353 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: two people at once. 354 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 2: I just love the consistent lying for both people, Like 355 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,159 Speaker 2: the best friend's lying to and he's lying to the girlfriend. 356 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 4: He's just like, wait, literally, I can't take his manipulation 357 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 4: and lies. I started crying again, and his female friend 358 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 4: then turned on me, calling me a red flag for 359 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 4: going through his phone and being obsessed and weird and 360 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 4: saying me and him haven't been going out that long 361 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 4: to get involved in hers and his friendship, but. 362 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: We're going out and like we're a couple. 363 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 364 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 4: Then I shouted that we were together for six months 365 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 4: and she didn't know either way, she didn't care, and 366 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:41,840 Speaker 4: so that I'm not. 367 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 2: Good enough for him. 368 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,919 Speaker 1: Poor she's gonna say that? 369 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course he didn't even interrupt her or explain 370 00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 4: or anything. 371 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 2: I had enough and I stormed out. I cried the 372 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 2: whole way home, and. 373 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 4: I have blocked him. God, he has called me about 374 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 4: thirty times. My best friend thinks that he may have 375 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 4: been trying to use me for a power because he's 376 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 4: from another country, and thinks that the girl may have 377 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 4: been in on it. I'm so heartbroken and I can't 378 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 4: stop crying. I honestly thought that he was the one, 379 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 4: but I am very naive and easily let on. I 380 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 4: should have known better. Toad face, And there is an update. 381 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 4: I should probably make a whole new post. But anyway, 382 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 4: he has a separate phone, which he has been calling 383 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 4: me on all day. 384 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 2: Why does he have a separate phone? Yeah? Was that about? 385 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 4: I feel like they're so young, so why at probably 386 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,360 Speaker 4: a young age, why does he have a separate phone? 387 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,120 Speaker 2: I ignored all of them. 388 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 4: Then a different number called me and it was his 389 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 4: other female friend, and basically she was trying to vouch 390 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 4: for him and explain that he's a really good guy. 391 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 4: Then when I told her everything, she was shocked because. 392 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 2: She didn't know. 393 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 5: You're like, yeah, what about now? 394 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 2: Are you still thinking he's a good guy now? 395 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 1: Oh uh? 396 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 2: Shoot back? Yeah. 397 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 4: Then she admitted even more stuff that I didn't know before, 398 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 4: that they all got wasted and kissed before at a 399 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 4: club that her and him and the other girl, and 400 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 4: once they played truth or Dare and the other female 401 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 4: best friend was dared to kiss his wider. 402 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 2: As a joke. Both was it and both were years ago. 403 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 2: That creeped me out so much. Yeah me noo h. 404 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 4: Then she was like, apart from this stuff, nothing else 405 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 4: that she knows has happened, and that even though that 406 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 4: stuff happened. 407 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 2: They still are only just friends. 408 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 4: She admitted that the other girl did have feelings for 409 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 4: him and probably still does, but he doesn't feel the 410 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 4: same way, and told me that she did try to 411 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 4: tell them that their weird friendship would stop any of 412 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 4: them from being in a. 413 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 2: Relationship with others. Anyway. 414 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 4: I told her to forget it. I don't need his 415 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,400 Speaker 4: friends begging and doing his dirty work. For him and 416 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 4: that I don't need this kind of drama in my life. 417 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 4: Good for you. Op, that's true. Then she was like, oh, 418 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 4: but you shouldn't have been rude to her and him. 419 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 4: That shows disrespect as his girlfriend. I'm just being honest 420 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 4: and you should be careful as he's a good guy. 421 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 4: He's just not good at explaining himself. How did he 422 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 4: get all of these people to believe him he's. 423 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: Trying to get that passport Lockdownary? 424 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 2: Did he manipulate all these people to believe that he's 425 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 2: a good guy? I worry for this group. 426 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 1: Of friends soundative, clearly, I worry. 427 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:17,199 Speaker 4: I'm mentally a bit slow. I have autism and my 428 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 4: English isn't that great. People always make fun of me 429 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 4: or take advantage of me and my good nature, and 430 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 4: I can get wrapped up in stuff like getting excited 431 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 4: with dating and I forget. 432 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 2: That it's not even that real. 433 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,360 Speaker 4: I can't explain, but if you know what I mean, 434 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 4: they are still trying to make it seem like it's 435 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 4: my fault, and then I'm the crazy, rude one and 436 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 4: shouldn't have gone on his phone. Plus it's too crazy 437 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 4: him getting other people to call me begging for me back. Now, 438 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 4: I'm one hundred percent sure that he's trying to use me, 439 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 4: Otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard to still be 440 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 4: with me. Anyway, I blocked the other girl and told 441 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 4: her to leave me alone too, and for people to 442 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 4: stop the calls to me. 443 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. My friend 444 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 2: invited an extra person on our trip, but doesn't want 445 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 2: to pay for her. 446 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: It's all right, you can take in the bags, can 447 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 1: clean and cook for me. Then here's the story. 448 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 2: Basically, my friend, let's call her Ashley, and I are 449 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 2: going on a trip with three other people Jess, Emily 450 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 2: and Sam. 451 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,920 Speaker 1: Sam Mintionined, Sam Minchined. 452 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 2: Ashley and I were discussing what the cost of splitting 453 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 2: up prices was gonna be like for the hotel. I 454 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: booked our hotel, and since there's five of us going, 455 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 2: I told her it's gonna be split up into five. 456 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Just Individuals thirty seven 457 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,159 Speaker 2: forty nine and if you want to smit your own stories, 458 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So 459 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 2: Ashley says she's paying for her friend Jess and wants 460 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,640 Speaker 2: it to be split up into four, because even though 461 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 2: Jess is going, Ashley is the one paying for both, 462 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 2: and her friend isn't paying her back for it, so 463 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 2: there are five people going. But Ashley's like, I'm paying 464 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 2: for Jess, so I only want it split four ways. No, no, no, 465 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 2: you have to pay two of the things if you're 466 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 2: paying for Jess Ashley. 467 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 1: So let's just say this trip's like twenty five hundred, yeah, 468 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: to go on for a week, because the last story 469 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: we read about this was like around twenty five hundred, 470 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: So twenty five hundred divided about five people five hundred 471 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: bucks five hundred bucks, okay, twenty five divided by four 472 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 1: six hundred and twenty five bucks. 473 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 474 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: So is this person that we've all never met worth 475 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty five dollars each? Yeah? If not, 476 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: we're splitting five ways, and you're paying one thousand dollars. 477 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 2: You're paying one thousand. That's tough if you want to 478 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 2: pay for her, sure, but you're paying the whole thing. 479 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 2: I personally don't think that's fair to me, Emily or Sam. 480 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 2: Ashley is choosing to pay for her friend's hotel part 481 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 2: the way I see it, splitting it into four only 482 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 2: benefits Ashley and Jess. Jess because she doesn't have to 483 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 2: pay a penny. Yeah, Ashley. The thing is, oh, Ashley, 484 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: Ashley is not paying for Jess. Jess is just not paying. 485 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 1: That's the problem. I'm at. My brother's actually going through 486 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 1: this exact same scenario with a couple because the couple's like, 487 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 1: we're a couple. We hate that four ways. I hate that. 488 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 2: I'm like, no, you're two people. You didn't conjoin. 489 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like. My solution to this is like, oh, okay, 490 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 1: if we want to split it evenly, So what we're 491 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: gonna do is we're gonna find the square footage of 492 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: the hotel room. Yeah, We're gonna be like, okay, this 493 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,320 Speaker 1: is your section, this is your section, and then we're 494 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: gonna split it up by like Cosper scare Foot. 495 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 2: Exactly, not me, Emily or Sam, because we'd be paying 496 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 2: more than we should, just because Ashley is paying for two, 497 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 2: but she's combining two into one because it's just her paying. 498 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 2: If this is confusing at all, here's a mini breakdown 499 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 2: of fake prices. But we've already done this, so. 500 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean we can give her fake prices cue. 501 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 2: Total of hotel one hundred dollars. Five people equals five 502 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 2: payments twenty dollars each. How Ashley wants to do it, 503 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 2: five people equals four payments twenty five dollars each, because 504 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 2: she's paying for two people, including herself, but she's only 505 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 2: counting them as one. That would mean me, Emily and 506 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 2: Sam have to pay more than what we're supposed to owe. 507 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: I don't think this is right, No, Bennettle's just give 508 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,479 Speaker 1: Ashley the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she missed like 509 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: eighth grade math. 510 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe she's just bad at map. 511 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: And she doesn't know how this works. 512 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 2: She's like, no, no, no, it's it's the same you guys 513 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 2: don't get it. 514 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think just sitting down with her. 515 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 2: And running what you just said over with her, you know, 516 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 2: like a whiteboard. Yeah, you're like, okay, Ashley, here you go, 517 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 2: and you. 518 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: Can use like cows, Like so there are four cows 519 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,400 Speaker 1: and they have to eat this much. 520 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 2: Better take one cow away the way she wants to 521 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 2: do it. It makes it to where Sam, Emily and 522 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,640 Speaker 2: I are also paying for justice part, not just Ashley. 523 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,480 Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure Ashley is upset with me because I 524 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 2: told her that it needs to be split into five 525 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,719 Speaker 2: to make it fair for everyone else. And she's not 526 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,879 Speaker 2: really been talking to me, so am I the ale? 527 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 2: And there are some relevant comments. Commoner one says, not 528 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 2: the ale. What are the sleeping arrangements? Could hinge price 529 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,640 Speaker 2: on that? Who's on a bed, a couch, sharing a bed, 530 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 2: et cetera? Says I believe it's two full sized beds 531 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 2: and a sofa bed. Ashley and Jess would be sharing 532 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 2: a bed because they're closest with each other. We haven't 533 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 2: decided the rest of the sleeping arrangements yet though, but 534 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 2: two on the other bed and one on the sofa 535 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: bed most likely. Commoner two says, not the a hole 536 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 2: to your logic, Yes, Ashley should be paying forty dollars 537 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 2: while the rest of you are at twenty. I have 538 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 2: to ask, though, is your friendship worth whatever the real 539 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 2: additional amount you three would. 540 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,400 Speaker 1: Have to pay is it? Is it worth it? 541 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 2: Also? Is she just paying for Jess for the hotel 542 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 2: or is all split cost items for the trip? Opie says, 543 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 2: I've talked to the others and they're not comfortable paying 544 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: extra either, and they don't know Ashley very well. I'm 545 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 2: not gonna make them pay for someone they don't even know. 546 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 2: Ashley did say it's just for the hotel that she's 547 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 2: paying for Jess, but that might actually but that might 548 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,959 Speaker 2: change in a couple of months when our trip actually 549 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 2: takes place. Who knows. But my main focus right now 550 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 2: is the hotel. Opi is mentioned a few times in 551 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,120 Speaker 2: the comments about the prices listed. Opie says, I don't 552 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 2: know how many times I have to say this, but 553 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,400 Speaker 2: I said in the post that the prices I used 554 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 2: to the post were fake prices. The hotel price was 555 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 2: so much more expensive than the fake prices I used. 556 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 2: It's not just five dollars. I thought that was obvious. Okay, 557 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,639 Speaker 2: no one is comfortable paying the extra because Emily and 558 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 2: Sam hardly know Jess, and we've all got our own 559 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 2: stuff to pay for during this trip. This trip is expensive. 560 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,120 Speaker 2: It's not that I'm not willing to keep the piece. 561 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 2: It's that I'm not willing to be scammed. 562 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,880 Speaker 1: I think if you added two zeros to her fake yesh, Yeah, 563 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: I agree, but there was an up date. 564 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 2: First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who responded 565 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 2: and for the tips. I made the post to make 566 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 2: sure I was thinking correctly, even though I truly couldn't 567 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 2: make sense into what Ashley wanted to do, but I 568 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 2: mainly posted it because my friend wasn't talking to me, 569 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 2: so I thought I might have been the ale putting 570 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 2: out there that everyone going on the trip are young 571 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 2: adults ranging from eighteen to twenty two. Makes sense. Ashley 572 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,199 Speaker 2: and I are twenty one. I noticed a lot of 573 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 2: people misunderstood my post, so I'm going to clarify a 574 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 2: few things. Jess was going on this trip, whether Ashley 575 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 2: pays for her or she pays for herself, she was 576 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 2: always going to come and is an original member of 577 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 2: the group that's going. I had just gotten the news 578 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 2: that Ashley is deciding to pay for her share of 579 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 2: the hotel, but Jess isn't paying Ashley back. So I 580 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 2: think Ashley got confused because since there's only four people paying, 581 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,640 Speaker 2: she thought the bill should be split up into four. 582 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 2: She just is dumb. It's okay, I knew it. She's 583 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 2: just silly. 584 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,880 Speaker 1: I knew it. She missed eighth grade math. 585 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 2: But that's not how the bill should be split up. 586 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 2: It should be split up by However, many people are 587 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 2: staying not paying because Ashley is choosing to pay for Jess, 588 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 2: she doesn't have to do that. The prices I used 589 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 2: in my post were fake prices to make it simpler 590 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 2: to explain the actual cost of the hotel was way 591 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 2: more than the examples I use it. Something I forgot 592 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 2: to mention is that Ashley and I have never had 593 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,199 Speaker 2: an issue splitting up bills before, so I thought this 594 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 2: was extra weird of her to try and pull. We 595 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 2: just never had this problem before. Also, a lot of 596 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 2: you were saying this will be a continuous problem during 597 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,439 Speaker 2: the trip, like for food or anything else. But whenever 598 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 2: we've been on trips before and ordering food or whatever, 599 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 2: usually we order separate, so that shouldn't be a problem 600 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,399 Speaker 2: during the trip. Another thing I didn't mention in the 601 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 2: original post was that the hotel room states it sleeps 602 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 2: six people. There's two full size beds two. There's two 603 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 2: full sized beds and a sofa bed. I don't know 604 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 2: if this is really that important, but a lot of 605 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 2: people were asking Jess and Ashley would be sharing a bed, 606 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 2: and most likely me and Emily will share a bed 607 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 2: because Sam made it very clear that she wants the 608 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 2: sofa bed lol. But I do not think it should 609 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 2: be split up by beds or sleeping arrangements because we're 610 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 2: all sharing the same space. Also, something I didn't mention 611 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 2: was Ashley said she was only paying for Jessice hotel part, 612 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 2: and that anything else was coming out of Jess's pocket. 613 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 2: She's not paying for Jess's hotel part, She's paying for 614 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 2: her own. Now for the actual update, I've talked to 615 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 2: both Emily and Sam about it and both agree it 616 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 2: should be split five ways, and if one person wants 617 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: to pay for another person, then they have to pay noble. 618 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 2: Neither of them are comfortable paying the extra because they 619 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 2: don't know Jess very well, if at all. I also 620 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 2: tried to explain to Ashley with examples like if I'm 621 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 2: paying for Sam and Emily, then it would be split 622 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 2: up into two and you're paying more for just two 623 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 2: people than I am for three, and then explain to 624 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 2: her that it just wouldn't be fair if I did 625 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 2: that to her. I also emphasized that the way she 626 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 2: wanted to do it makes it to where everyone is 627 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 2: paying Jess's share, not just her. I was not gonna 628 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,960 Speaker 2: back down until she got it. 629 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: Now. I think her play was the act home so 630 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: she could save money. 631 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's say, what do you mean I should only 632 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 2: pay five hundred dollars and that's for everyone? 633 00:29:59,120 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 1: Kay? 634 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 2: No, Ashley, that's not how life works or money or hotels. 635 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: Oh man, I was thinking about, like other scenarios in 636 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 1: her life, where might come up again, A lot gets scammed, 637 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: she can get scammed by we could be one of 638 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: the stick And. 639 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 2: She finally says that makes sense now, and she apologized. Whoa, 640 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 2: She gets it, guys, she gets it, And I mean, 641 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 2: I'm happy she finally understands how it's not fair to 642 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 2: do it her way. But I'm still annoyed that I 643 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 2: had to, you know, reverse card and use her logic 644 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 2: against her to make her understand it should have made 645 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 2: sense from the very beginning. But it's whatever. I'm hoping 646 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 2: this whole situation won't make this trip any awkward. But 647 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 2: it's two months away, so hopefully everything will pass uh 648 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 2: and we'll have a blast. If anything else crazy happens, 649 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 2: I'll be short up to you, guys. Thanks for all 650 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 2: the replies and common says. Comment Want says, splitting four 651 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 2: ways means everyone's paying for the fifth person. Math really 652 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 2: isn't that hard? Reply? But then Ashley doesn't get a 653 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 2: claim she's the one paying for Jess. Reply, that's all 654 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 2: I could think while reading this. OHP should have just 655 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 2: stated it's exactly like that. No, we're not splitting it 656 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 2: four ways, because then you're not paying for Jess. We are, 657 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 2: and you are the only one who wants to pay 658 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 2: for so you pay for her a portion which is 659 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 2: split five ways. And Comma two says the math was 660 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 2: not mathing. Ain't that the truth? But uh, folks, that's 661 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 2: the end of that story, and Ashley finally learned how 662 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 2: to do math. 663 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:36,080 Speaker 1: Yay, yay, the whole goal here. Hey, it's John here, 664 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 1: og host here. We're gonna get back to the stories. 665 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 1: But he's a quick three minute break of ass from 666 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: our sponsors. I trusted my friend's mother to live in 667 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 1: my deceased father's apartment. I regret it. 668 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 2: Never trust him. 669 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 1: My father passed away unexpectedly two and a half months ago, 670 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 1: of the ripe age of fifty eight. Oh this is 671 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,760 Speaker 1: still very much of trauma for me. I'm the only 672 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: child and he was not married. He left everything to 673 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: me and his will, I inherited a two bedroom apartment 674 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: that I am not need of since I already have 675 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: a place on my own and by the way, this 676 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: comes from holographic Peaches And if you want to spit 677 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story 678 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 1: teme to subredd it. So, my best friend's mother, Nicole, 679 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 1: has recently come home from living abroad for six months. 680 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: She came home early because she missed her family and grandchild, 681 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: but it basically left her homeless. She's been CouchSurfing and 682 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 1: living with her sister and daughter aka my best friend 683 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 1: since early childhood. Natalie. Almost immediately when Nicole heard that 684 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: my father passed away, she asked if nic Coole, just 685 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 1: if Natalie could ask me if the apartment was available 686 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: for a crash for a few months while she's fixing 687 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:49,280 Speaker 1: up her life situation long term. I trust Natalie with 688 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: my life, and I had no reason not to trust 689 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: in Nicole. We all thought it would be a good 690 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,720 Speaker 1: temporary fix since I wouldn't be able since I would 691 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: be stuck paying Dad's rent and alone, as well as 692 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: my own rent and bills. And she said she could 693 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: be there as much as I needed to to go 694 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: through Dad's things and clear through the apartment in stuff. 695 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,600 Speaker 1: He'd just be thankful to have a place to go 696 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,479 Speaker 1: at night, and I wanted to help. She moved in 697 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: just shy three weeks after my dad passed and promised 698 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 1: me to be respectful of everything in the apartment. We 699 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: didn't sign a rent contract, but we said that a 700 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 1: three months notice both ways is standard and would do 701 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 1: here as well. I gave her permission to use things 702 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: in the kitchen if needed, as well as the washer, dryer, detergent, 703 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 1: fabric softener, cleaning products, toilet paper, eat up unopened food items, 704 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 1: et cetera, everything that goes with living in an apartment. 705 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 1: When Nicole had lived there for five weeks, she sent 706 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 1: a text saying she'd be moving out later that week. 707 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: She had found and rented a house. She also wanted 708 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: half the rent back that she had already paid me 709 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: for the upcoming month. Everyone asked said that I shouldn't 710 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 1: have complied and sent her the back, but since this 711 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,160 Speaker 1: is my best friend's mom, I still wanted to help 712 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: her and I knew that she needed the money. She 713 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 1: was grateful. This is where a contract comes in. I'm 714 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: just glad she didn't stay and didn't leave. That's what 715 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: I thought was about to happen. 716 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 2: I'm a little concerned. 717 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,359 Speaker 1: I would rather pay her back half rent. Know when 718 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: she's getting out of the house, I hope she's getting 719 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: out than staying. 720 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,399 Speaker 2: I hope she's getting out. 721 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: Hope she doesn't stackt just her pr squat. 722 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 2: I think she might be. 723 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,359 Speaker 1: As soon as I got the keys back and walked 724 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,880 Speaker 1: through the apartment, I noticed that there was left stuff 725 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: around than usual. 726 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 2: Oh no, she cleaned, she hoped clean. She helped clean 727 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 2: all of your valuables. 728 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: My dad liked to keep, like to keep extra of 729 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,920 Speaker 1: his things he used regularly, like hand soap, dish soap, detergent, 730 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 1: fabric softener, toilet paper, cooking things like olive oil, aluminum foil, 731 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 1: parchment paper, plastic bags, and all that kind of stuff 732 00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,399 Speaker 1: was just gone, even though no person possibly could used 733 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: it up in five weeks. For example, I know for 734 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: a fact there were three extra rolls of illumina foil 735 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,320 Speaker 1: that aren't there. Now. The worst thing was I noticed 736 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,320 Speaker 1: that there were fridge magnets missing. 737 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 2: No, not the fridge magnets, yeah no, wait what the 738 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 2: fridge magnets. 739 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: Specifically magnets that have bought for my dad, round bed 740 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:28,680 Speaker 1: neo round bead magnets that he used to make little 741 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: designs in graphs with oh yeah, they were a sentimental 742 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: OW immediately texted her and as if she had taken 743 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,919 Speaker 1: the magnets by accident, and I got this reply, Hey, 744 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: holographic pieces. Yes, I took them because grandson thought they 745 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,960 Speaker 1: were so fun to play with and I didn't think 746 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,000 Speaker 1: they were very important. 747 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 2: No, give them back through mine, give them. 748 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 1: Back, I answered her. You can't just take whatever you like, 749 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 1: and it can be really dangerous for little kids to 750 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 1: play with magnets. If they swallow them, it can cause 751 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: serious damage. I want them immediately. A reply to that 752 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:06,600 Speaker 1: was just, hey, ohp just relax. Yes, you shouldn't take 753 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 1: things that aren't yours. I'm beyond furious. 754 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,440 Speaker 2: That's crazy. I feel like, yeah, you're right, you shouldn't 755 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:13,799 Speaker 2: take things that aren't yours. 756 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 1: Proceeds to think I would be like wherever her new 757 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: house is, take her stuff, be like steal. Hey, I 758 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: need a place to stay. Both of my house and 759 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: my dad's apartment is flooded right now? Can I stay 760 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 1: at your house for a second and then just take 761 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 1: it all back? Take it all back? Come on, take 762 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: a little extra too, mm hmm interest. I am beyond furious. 763 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: I feel like the whole violated my trust in the 764 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: worst kind of ways. I trusted her to be respectful 765 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: in the apartment, not to steal things. I'm just wondering 766 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: what else goes missing. I have not had the chance 767 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 1: to go through everything, and it's not like I keep 768 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 1: inventory either. Depending I'm sorry, depending on when this guy 769 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 1: was like born, you could have money all over the 770 00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 1: place my great grandpa's house. He was born during the 771 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: Great Depression era. They are taught not to keep money 772 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,719 Speaker 1: in one place. That's true, So that's true. 773 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 2: You could you could be scraunging up money every year. 774 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: You might have keep on a little. Yeah, I'm so 775 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,959 Speaker 1: aware that I'm going through the trauma of losing a parent, 776 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,400 Speaker 1: and I might be more sensitive than usual. I just 777 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,320 Speaker 1: want to scream in her face and never ever ever 778 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 1: see her again or speak to her, but I think 779 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 1: that might be impossible since her daughter, he's my best friend. 780 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: We were running to each other on occasion, no doubt, 781 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 1: we have not spoken other than the text, and I 782 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,279 Speaker 1: have not gotten a hold of her, and I have 783 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: not gotten a hold of my friend either. I just 784 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: want to know how I best should handle the situation 785 00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 1: going forward, and if I should include my friend or not. 786 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: We got an update. 787 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 2: I think you should absolutely. I mean, if your friend 788 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,759 Speaker 2: was involved in the conversation about your her mom moving in, 789 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,919 Speaker 2: I think she should absolutely be involved. If she wasn't 790 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,400 Speaker 2: and that was just a converse between you and her mom, 791 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,320 Speaker 2: then maybe don't involve the friend. 792 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:04,839 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 793 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 2: I think that can just be you talking to her 794 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,200 Speaker 2: mom and be like, hey, you need to give me 795 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 2: those things back, those sentimental value. I let you stay here. 796 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 2: I took off rent price. Ah, that's stealing. 797 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,960 Speaker 1: How can you be so insensitive towards death kind of 798 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,799 Speaker 1: take advantage of someone I don't know? It's weird. This 799 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,000 Speaker 1: update is a long time coming. I wrote my past 800 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 1: one one and a half years ago, man, and I've 801 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,720 Speaker 1: been wanting to update you all for a while now. 802 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 1: So unfortunately it gets worse. We left off with my 803 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 1: best friend, Natalie's mother. Nicole had been living in my 804 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,359 Speaker 1: dad's apartment for a few weeks, and when she got 805 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,840 Speaker 1: moved out, I found out there were things missing. In 806 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 1: my post, I specifically wrote about a set of magnets 807 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,800 Speaker 1: that and some household items. Well. A few days after 808 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,719 Speaker 1: me writing the post, I started to notice there were 809 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,080 Speaker 1: a lot more things missing. This is a few examples, 810 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,440 Speaker 1: but not everything. Two full sets of towels from a 811 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,320 Speaker 1: luxury brand, as well as a few odd towels same brand. 812 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: Two sheets, three sets of betting, and a small mirror, 813 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: A couple of movies, a few children's books, my old ones, 814 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 1: several things from the kitchen, like a vase and a picture, 815 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,719 Speaker 1: and a small bathroom carpet that was stored in the closet. Yeah, 816 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,879 Speaker 1: she snooped through my dad's storage and stolen things from 817 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:27,320 Speaker 1: there as well. She's got a house to furnish. 818 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,960 Speaker 2: Yes, she's like, I'm moving into a new place and 819 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:30,720 Speaker 2: neat stuff. 820 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,799 Speaker 1: This is your housewarming gift. Yeah, I don't think your 821 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,640 Speaker 1: dad's gonna use this anymore. I have since gotten a 822 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 1: few things back, like the magnets that were most important 823 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 1: to me, Not all of it. She keeps coming up 824 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 1: with excuses. The sheets, the towels, books, et cetera. Are 825 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 1: moving box somewhere, or in a moving box somewhere, or 826 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,920 Speaker 1: they're in storage. You'll get everything back soon, or I'll 827 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 1: just need to watch them first, or I haven't seen them. 828 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know if I have them. 829 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 1: Are you sure you don't have them. First off, did 830 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,320 Speaker 1: you why did you take this in the first place? 831 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:06,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, come on. I honestly think at this 832 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 2: point maybe you could bring in the daughter your friend 833 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 2: and say like, hey, I've been having a lot of 834 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 2: trouble with your mom. If you're able to talk, like, 835 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,400 Speaker 2: don't put it on your friend, because we don't know 836 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 2: that she's at all involved. She might not know anything 837 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:18,400 Speaker 2: about it. 838 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:19,760 Speaker 1: Can you help me set your mom? 839 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? 840 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 2: I think you could say, like, hey, your mom, this 841 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 2: has been kind of taking advantage of the situation. Do 842 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,640 Speaker 2: you you mind like helping me talk to her or something. 843 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,799 Speaker 1: I'm more okay with it, but when I but when 844 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,960 Speaker 1: it just had happened, I was furious. I'm very sad 845 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,760 Speaker 1: about it. Now the situation is much more different and weird. 846 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily like the idea of Nicole using my 847 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:45,000 Speaker 1: deceased father's very nice sets of bettings and hows, but 848 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,879 Speaker 1: they are just things, and I don't know if i'd 849 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,799 Speaker 1: actually use them myself. Pee. Natalie has been trying to 850 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,560 Speaker 1: help me as much as possible, and she's very upset 851 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,400 Speaker 1: with her mother. She tried to ruimburse me for everything, 852 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,279 Speaker 1: but I don't think it's her job to do that. 853 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 1: We have left it at If Natalie sees something that's 854 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,759 Speaker 1: my dad slash minds and Cole's, she'll grab it and 855 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,399 Speaker 1: give it back to me. But this is where things 856 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 1: get weird. My original post, I wrote that Nicole moved 857 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,080 Speaker 1: out because she had found a house to rent. Turns 858 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 1: out she actually hadn't. She moved in with her boyfriend 859 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,960 Speaker 1: in his department. They have since broken up, and I 860 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 1: left Nicole homeless again with no one else to turn to. 861 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,439 Speaker 1: She had to move in with Natalie about eight months ago, 862 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:32,319 Speaker 1: who reluctantly agreed. She had a spare room and the 863 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 1: rent is high, so she needed the extra money. 864 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 2: Oh okay, Nicole again, this is Natalie's mom, right yep. 865 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,799 Speaker 2: Nicole once again has a situation where she doesn't have 866 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,279 Speaker 2: a place to live and so now she's living with 867 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,360 Speaker 2: her daughter. Hopefully she doesn't steal from her daughter. 868 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: Who knows? Yeah, who knows, dude, who really knows? These 869 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 1: days things have been crazy since this is a very 870 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,880 Speaker 1: short list of how Nicole's acting right now. What she 871 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,480 Speaker 1: will pick facts with Natalie constantly, and then immediately after 872 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,399 Speaker 1: she'll pretend like nothing happened and that she's normal again. 873 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one too. She spends a lot 874 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:10,400 Speaker 1: of money on things she can't afford electronics, clothes, shoes, 875 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 1: beauty stuff, and then she'll be late with the rent 876 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,120 Speaker 1: or cause a huge fight to prove she shouldn't have 877 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 1: to pay rent this month. She also won't return things 878 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,280 Speaker 1: that won't fit so I's suit her because it's too hard, 879 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,759 Speaker 1: and she has piles of clothes that are just too 880 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 1: small and laying around her room. Three She's gained a 881 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,239 Speaker 1: lot of weight and she complains about it all the 882 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 1: time but won't do anything about it. For she's sick 883 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 1: all the time, as in, I'm not feeling good today, 884 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,319 Speaker 1: think I have a fever, and then she'll just stay 885 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,240 Speaker 1: home from work for a full week. Now, with everything 886 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,799 Speaker 1: that's going on with the Avid, she's apparently saying she 887 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,720 Speaker 1: wants to quit her job because she doesn't feel safe 888 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,799 Speaker 1: outside anymore, and if she does this, she won't have 889 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: any more income, yet she has no plan B. Five, 890 00:42:55,840 --> 00:43:00,080 Speaker 1: She expects Natalie to shop for food, pay for all 891 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:03,879 Speaker 1: of it, and cook food every day. Six she'll whine 892 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 1: and complain that the apartment is messy, needs to be cleaned. 893 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,440 Speaker 1: Natalie has a four year old son and a dog, 894 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:11,279 Speaker 1: so there are a lot of toys in the living 895 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: room in this son's room, but Nicole refuses to clean 896 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,279 Speaker 1: anything herself because it's not her mess, even if some 897 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,440 Speaker 1: of the mess is hers. Seven. She spent an hour's 898 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,440 Speaker 1: sorting her grandson's lego and then yelled at him when 899 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,080 Speaker 1: he was playing with it because he rumined it. She 900 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:31,359 Speaker 1: also complains that the grandson doesn't like her anymore and 901 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 1: says that he is mean if she doesn't want to 902 00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,880 Speaker 1: play with her. She says this is the front of 903 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 1: both Natalie and the kid. Eight. She'll lose something like 904 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,799 Speaker 1: her phone charger or house keys, and then Nicole will 905 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,239 Speaker 1: say that Natalie has taken the item from her and 906 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,919 Speaker 1: that it's Natalie who's lost them. She also says it's 907 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,720 Speaker 1: on Natalie to reimburse her for the things she loses, 908 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,440 Speaker 1: clash her responsibility to get her a new set of keys, 909 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 1: et cetera. Nine. I also had the unfortunate run in 910 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,360 Speaker 1: with the coole last fall at Natalie's son's fourth birthday. 911 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,399 Speaker 1: She's act like nothing's happened. She talked to me laugh, 912 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 1: just pretending like nothing had happened even before though I 913 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,759 Speaker 1: hadn't seen her or talked to her in almost a year. 914 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,080 Speaker 1: It was super weird because it didn't feel like it 915 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:20,640 Speaker 1: was just for show everyone else that had also been there. 916 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,759 Speaker 1: How many more points do we have? What the heck? 917 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,759 Speaker 2: Seems like she's just a nuisance is the issue. She's 918 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 2: living with Natalie, her daughter, and is a nuisance and 919 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,799 Speaker 2: doesn't know how to act like an adult and you know, 920 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,440 Speaker 2: kind of live on her own and that's it. 921 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,719 Speaker 1: She also adopted a four month old puppy act as 922 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,919 Speaker 1: a co signer to the apartment where she's not and 923 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,799 Speaker 1: she says that the dog did it on purpose, Peter 924 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,279 Speaker 1: poop outside her door, have a spite for. 925 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:51,359 Speaker 2: Her, And the list goes on, and the list goes on. 926 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,320 Speaker 1: I think she's got to go on the streets, man. 927 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,400 Speaker 2: I just don't think that. I think that Natalie needs 928 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,880 Speaker 2: to set boundaries. I understand that it be especially you 929 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,759 Speaker 2: know your mother. This is not just a random person 930 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 2: who's taking advantage of you, but neither Nonetheless, she's taken 931 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 2: advantage of you, and she's acting awful and she's just 932 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:16,960 Speaker 2: being an overall nuisance. As Wrestling Mama says, Uh, so 933 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 2: I feel like you need to set some boundaries, or 934 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,239 Speaker 2: you need to tell Natalie to set some boundaries and 935 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,080 Speaker 2: say this is not going to stand. If you need 936 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,720 Speaker 2: a place to live, you have to follow my rules 937 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,279 Speaker 2: or you're out. 938 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, And if. 939 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,640 Speaker 2: She, you know, ends up being out, then that's. 940 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:33,400 Speaker 1: That's on her. That it's just I don't know. Whenever 941 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:35,680 Speaker 1: the red flag to me was whenever she traveled for 942 00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,439 Speaker 1: six months and didn't have a place to land after 943 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,279 Speaker 1: that kind of shows. 944 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 2: She relies on other people and she expects them to 945 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,759 Speaker 2: like pick her up when she has nowhere to go, 946 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,839 Speaker 2: even though she's not actually doing any work to find 947 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 2: a place, Like she's quitting her junk because she doesn't 948 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:52,239 Speaker 2: want to do it. 949 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:57,720 Speaker 1: She's yeah, ah ah, last little bit here. I stated 950 00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,480 Speaker 1: in the list she's very worried about the virus. She 951 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,800 Speaker 1: stays up all night to read about it, and she's 952 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,879 Speaker 1: and she'll say to Natalie she's convinced if she'll get 953 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,440 Speaker 1: sick from the VID, she knows she's going to pass 954 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,480 Speaker 1: from it. I think she show first from untreated depression, 955 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,359 Speaker 1: but it would not be good enough to explain what's 956 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,200 Speaker 1: going on. I feel for Natalie because these last few 957 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,800 Speaker 1: months have been hard for her. Nicole critiques her about 958 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:26,120 Speaker 1: everything from how she looks to her parenting. Natalie cries 959 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,640 Speaker 1: every day and she tries to be home as little 960 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 1: as possible. Someone has any insight might be happening, I'd 961 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,480 Speaker 1: appreciate some advice. Thanks for reading. Sorry I don't have 962 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,240 Speaker 1: a nice for update. 963 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:41,719 Speaker 2: I think Nicole probably has some sort of mental issues, absolutely, 964 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,880 Speaker 2: And people are saying Wrestling Mama says, I think some 965 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,960 Speaker 2: sort of kind of mental evaluation for sure. But regardless, 966 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,680 Speaker 2: she's taking advantage of the people who are offering her 967 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 2: help and that's not okay. And you guys need to 968 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,839 Speaker 2: set boundaries at the end of the day. 969 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, it could be. 970 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,759 Speaker 2: Like a literally of different things wrong with her. That 971 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,800 Speaker 2: doesn't well, that doesn't mean that she can get away 972 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,080 Speaker 2: with treating you guys poorly. 973 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:10,640 Speaker 1: Like I think, boundaries with a moderator around, sure, someone 974 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,600 Speaker 1: that'll take her serious. But I don't know. She might 975 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,239 Speaker 1: be a lost costs too, because sometimes I feel like 976 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,000 Speaker 1: people at a certain age don't like to learn, don't 977 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 1: like to hear anything new. They just kind of live 978 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 1: their life that way, staying at the same level you're 979 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,400 Speaker 1: she's losing money taking advantage of your daughter. Where's the 980 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:28,879 Speaker 1: line though? 981 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,239 Speaker 2: We just don't know. 982 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,879 Speaker 1: We just what do you mean you don't know? Where 983 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:32,759 Speaker 1: would you put the line? 984 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,480 Speaker 2: So she doesn't? Oh? I know, I know where I 985 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,120 Speaker 2: would put put the line. I just meant like these 986 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:38,480 Speaker 2: people don't clearly. 987 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,000 Speaker 1: No, But where would you put the line? 988 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:44,279 Speaker 2: I put the line up like she's stealing stuff? That 989 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,200 Speaker 2: would have been I'd been like, whoa, if you don't 990 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,960 Speaker 2: stop doing that, you have to find a new place 991 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,440 Speaker 2: to live. I put the line at she's literally I 992 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,840 Speaker 2: don't know, bringing a dog in and yeah, like without 993 00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,360 Speaker 2: I don't know all of this. 994 00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:01,600 Speaker 1: All of this is the line I would have drawn 995 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,200 Speaker 1: the line at you're buying stuff and not paying rent. Yeah, 996 00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 1: come on, hey, it's Sam' your og host here. Bring 997 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,879 Speaker 1: it back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads 998 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,279 Speaker 1: from our sponsor. I don't want my friend as my bridesmaid, 999 00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 1: but I'm afraid to hurt her feelings. 1000 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,040 Speaker 5: Oh, you're still gonna have to decide. 1001 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,080 Speaker 1: I'm getting married next fall to my best friend of 1002 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,080 Speaker 1: eight years Max. What do you know? And I've been 1003 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:27,480 Speaker 1: struggling to put together my bridal party because I no 1004 00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,920 Speaker 1: longer wish to have my best friend Lindy as one 1005 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,240 Speaker 1: of my bridesmaids. I say my best friend in quote 1006 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,640 Speaker 1: Marx because for all that she proclaims herself to be 1007 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,520 Speaker 1: my best friend. I'm so glad I'm your best friend. 1008 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,759 Speaker 1: I've had to do that to a few people, so 1009 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:43,520 Speaker 1: glad I'm your best. 1010 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 3: Friend, that I'm your best friend, and they're like, yeah, yeah, Riley, Yeah. 1011 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,640 Speaker 1: One are my eye colors? What is my color in 1012 00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:52,880 Speaker 1: my eye? Beautiful? 1013 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,799 Speaker 5: That's the best response if you don't know someone's eye color. 1014 00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,799 Speaker 1: Love it. She hasn't been treating me like a good 1015 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,800 Speaker 1: one for a while, and I also no longer regard 1016 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 1: her as one of mine as all the details below 1017 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,359 Speaker 1: and more ooh tea. By the way, this comes from 1018 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,080 Speaker 1: screaming in the morning, and if you would to sbmit 1019 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,960 Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytelling subreddit. 1020 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,120 Speaker 1: So long backstory for context. And they are blue and green, 1021 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,279 Speaker 1: not really, Hazel. I have been friends with Lindy ever 1022 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,239 Speaker 1: since we were in elementary school together. We've been each 1023 00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,880 Speaker 1: other's best friends for almost as long as I can remember. 1024 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,359 Speaker 1: I've always had each other's backs and supported each other 1025 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,840 Speaker 1: and been there for each other. We used to have 1026 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,120 Speaker 1: a lot of shared interests, but as we've grown up 1027 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 1: and gone to different universities and pursued different things, those 1028 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:43,279 Speaker 1: shared interests have decreased. I don't think it's entirely due 1029 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,560 Speaker 1: to no longer having many or any at all shared 1030 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,920 Speaker 1: interests that we have grown apart. I have many friends, 1031 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,000 Speaker 1: some of who I have known for almost as long 1032 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 1: as Lindy and others less than that, and even after 1033 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,960 Speaker 1: our shared interests have changed, we have managed to remain close. 1034 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,520 Speaker 1: There have been some stumbling blocks in our longtime friendship 1035 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,680 Speaker 1: that I have over time caused me to grow a 1036 00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,040 Speaker 1: bit more guarded around her, but for the most part 1037 00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:11,239 Speaker 1: I didn't make it much of an issue about it. 1038 00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:16,719 Speaker 1: In retrospect, I should have. Oh boy, I know exactly 1039 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:17,799 Speaker 1: where this one's going. 1040 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:22,560 Speaker 3: Oh he can see the future, folks. He's like what 1041 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:26,120 Speaker 3: he can smell the future? Right? 1042 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,799 Speaker 1: Oh he smells what's cooking? Yeah. So the incident that 1043 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:33,680 Speaker 1: has caused me to start truly revaluating our friendship took 1044 00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:37,600 Speaker 1: place last spring. Our beloved family cat of ten years 1045 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,760 Speaker 1: was diagnosed with late stage cancer. Less than two months later, 1046 00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,360 Speaker 1: we had to make the decision put him down to sleep. 1047 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:49,320 Speaker 1: As he was suffering too much rip cheese puff. Arrangements 1048 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,840 Speaker 1: were made with his vet to have him put to 1049 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:56,239 Speaker 1: sleep in the familiar comfort of our home. Since it 1050 00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,879 Speaker 1: was a plan thing, I asked Linda ahead of time 1051 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,759 Speaker 1: if she'd be able to come over to be with me, 1052 00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:03,680 Speaker 1: as I didn't want to be alone at such time. 1053 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,360 Speaker 1: She said she had plans in the afternoon, and I 1054 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,279 Speaker 1: told her that that was fine, as I didn't know 1055 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,360 Speaker 1: how long things would take with the vet and funeral 1056 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,960 Speaker 1: and Sarah may with the funeral company. Anyways, I asked 1057 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:18,280 Speaker 1: her if she could come afterwards, anything from the evening onward, 1058 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,919 Speaker 1: as I'd really appreciate the company. She said she wasn't 1059 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,319 Speaker 1: sure she would have the energy to do so, so 1060 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,640 Speaker 1: she had planned to head home after her afternoon outings 1061 00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,440 Speaker 1: to rest once more. I told her that this was 1062 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,880 Speaker 1: fine and she didn't have to come over too early, 1063 00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,080 Speaker 1: that she could take a nap first if needed, and 1064 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,200 Speaker 1: come after she felt more rested again. She said she 1065 00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,320 Speaker 1: wasn't sure if she could make it afterwards, and I 1066 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,080 Speaker 1: decided to stop pressing the issue. 1067 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,800 Speaker 3: Okay, sometimes when we stop pressing issues, issues developed. 1068 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:48,480 Speaker 5: No, I we ain't pressing it. 1069 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:52,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you were now demoted to friend. Dude. If 1070 00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,680 Speaker 1: someone's cat was being passed away and they're like, I'm 1071 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,080 Speaker 1: gonna have the issue, I'm just said like, oh, he 1072 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:02,520 Speaker 1: had to ask her to come over times instead. I 1073 00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,239 Speaker 1: asked Max and then my boyfriend, if you could keep 1074 00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:08,120 Speaker 1: me company that evening, and he immediately told me he'd 1075 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,960 Speaker 1: be there and whatever I wanted to arrange for food 1076 00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,439 Speaker 1: that that that I might like to eat that he'd 1077 00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,960 Speaker 1: cheer me up with. Then, when the day came to 1078 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,399 Speaker 1: say goodbye Cheese Puff, my siblings and I were all there, 1079 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,919 Speaker 1: along with some of my siblings close friends, I cat. 1080 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,919 Speaker 1: Max updated as to what was happening so that he'd 1081 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:29,320 Speaker 1: know what time to come over. That whole day, Lindy 1082 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,200 Speaker 1: never once called or even texted a check gran on 1083 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,200 Speaker 1: how I was doing, or offered any words of comfort 1084 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,600 Speaker 1: or condolences. That night, I made a bunch of social 1085 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:42,400 Speaker 1: media posts about Cheese Puff cheese Buffs passing. It was 1086 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,560 Speaker 1: really hard to type them out and select the pictures. 1087 00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,680 Speaker 1: Even now, more than a year on, I can't look 1088 00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 1: at my photos of Cheese Puff without tearing up. He 1089 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:55,640 Speaker 1: and my friends, both close ones and acquaintances like offered 1090 00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:59,000 Speaker 1: their condolences and shared pictures and stories about cheese Puff. 1091 00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,560 Speaker 1: Good number of them even reached out to me privately 1092 00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,880 Speaker 1: support in various ways, but not Lindy. I know exactly 1093 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:10,800 Speaker 1: why Lindy didn't want to come over, But Lindy only 1094 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,839 Speaker 1: strives on taking other people's energy. Thus, if you don't 1095 00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:19,560 Speaker 1: have any energy take, she's not gonna be there. So 1096 00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,200 Speaker 1: she was with other people taking their energies and she's 1097 00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,400 Speaker 1: gonna feast on that through the afternoon. Because Lindy is 1098 00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:30,120 Speaker 1: an energy vampire. Yeah. 1099 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you don't have any energy in your bucket 1100 00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,920 Speaker 3: to pour into hers, she's not coming around. 1101 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:39,680 Speaker 1: Lindy has a few cats of her own, one of 1102 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:43,960 Speaker 1: which is older than cheese Puff, So it isn't that 1103 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,640 Speaker 1: she doesn't understand the love between a person and their 1104 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,680 Speaker 1: fur baby. Even the next day, it was radio silence 1105 00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,640 Speaker 1: from her until the afternoon when she asked my family 1106 00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:55,239 Speaker 1: how I was holding up. When I said I wasn't 1107 00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,440 Speaker 1: really doing well, she sent me a thumbs up reaction 1108 00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,319 Speaker 1: and then immediately began venting about related stuff that she 1109 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,080 Speaker 1: was going through. 1110 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:10,040 Speaker 5: Uh, he was right doing it, is doing it. 1111 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:11,960 Speaker 1: It is. 1112 00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:16,319 Speaker 3: His nose is approximately eight minutes in the future at 1113 00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:17,080 Speaker 3: all times. 1114 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:22,640 Speaker 1: Really is that would be wild. That is undeniably would 1115 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:26,600 Speaker 1: be wild. When I tried to explain how I was feeling, 1116 00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,680 Speaker 1: how much I was missing cheese Puff, and how overwhelming 1117 00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,880 Speaker 1: the hurt and grief was, she just sent me a 1118 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:36,920 Speaker 1: gift and a heart react. So modern day condolences. 1119 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,400 Speaker 3: That's like, remember how they say, like the worst they 1120 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,960 Speaker 3: can say is no, Like that's the worst thing I 1121 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,759 Speaker 3: could have been sent in that moment, especially because this. 1122 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,840 Speaker 5: Person has cats, so they understand. 1123 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,040 Speaker 2: It's not like. 1124 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,560 Speaker 1: They're just like, oh, I don't get it because whatever. 1125 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 3: Cheese puff, right, So it's just like, dude, after this, 1126 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,840 Speaker 3: never associating with you, don't call me, don't go by 1127 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:03,360 Speaker 3: my house. 1128 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,120 Speaker 1: Also, let me know if you have a friend like 1129 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,920 Speaker 1: this or did in the chat right now. And then 1130 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,759 Speaker 1: Lindy goes to me for the rest of the day 1131 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,640 Speaker 1: until the next day, when she texted me about how 1132 00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 1: she was going to get a new cat and also 1133 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,080 Speaker 1: a salon makeover she was planning to have. Anytime I 1134 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,080 Speaker 1: tried to talk about how I was feeling, she would 1135 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,240 Speaker 1: either give me a token reply and then continue talking 1136 00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,960 Speaker 1: about her own plans or issues, or just outright not 1137 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,359 Speaker 1: addressed what I had told her. I tried a few 1138 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,839 Speaker 1: times throughout that conversation until I eventually gave up trying 1139 00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,719 Speaker 1: to see comfort from her. After that exchange, I just 1140 00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,160 Speaker 1: stopped talking to her about anything related to my grief 1141 00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:42,040 Speaker 1: since she was just showing no interest or empathy, in fact, 1142 00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,400 Speaker 1: only making me feel more upset that I already was. 1143 00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,279 Speaker 1: It was really hurtful how she was completely dismissing my 1144 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:53,440 Speaker 1: pain and made everything about her that eventually turned to 1145 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,200 Speaker 1: me no longer turning to her for any form of 1146 00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:00,160 Speaker 1: emotional or mental support, as she didn't seem willing to 1147 00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,640 Speaker 1: offer it to me. Something also happened in her personal 1148 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,160 Speaker 1: life such that I didn't want to add my personal 1149 00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:10,359 Speaker 1: burdens to what she had to deal with. All that, 1150 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:13,839 Speaker 1: along with some other instances in the past and more 1151 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,440 Speaker 1: instances till now, has shown me this pattern of behavior 1152 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:21,439 Speaker 1: with her. She treats me like a sounding board all 1153 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:25,120 Speaker 1: of her problems, but doesn't reciprocate when I approach her 1154 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:28,319 Speaker 1: with mine. She'll come to me with struggles or unhappiness 1155 00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:32,840 Speaker 1: regarding the inconvenience to me, but only dane to address 1156 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:36,440 Speaker 1: mine if she's available or filling up to it. Otherwise 1157 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:42,520 Speaker 1: she makes excuses or simply withdrawals from me with the discussion. 1158 00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:46,799 Speaker 3: One way, bucket, dude, one way only, one way, fill up, 1159 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,040 Speaker 3: filling up, feeling you're filling up my bugget. 1160 00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,239 Speaker 5: I'm not feeling up your bugget, my bucket, all this 1161 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:53,280 Speaker 5: belonging in my buget? 1162 00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:57,440 Speaker 1: Okay, you, Benny. How does a person engineer themselves to 1163 00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:58,880 Speaker 1: become an energy vampire? 1164 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,960 Speaker 3: I think a lot of accidentally, I feel like a 1165 00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,799 Speaker 3: lot of the people who do this kind of thing 1166 00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:09,600 Speaker 3: aren't acutely aware that it's what they're doing, Like they 1167 00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,680 Speaker 3: might have a vague sense that, like, you know, they 1168 00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,840 Speaker 3: don't do that for others, but they probably just write 1169 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,800 Speaker 3: it off in a way of like, oh, let's just I. 1170 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:19,400 Speaker 1: Just don't do that. 1171 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:21,760 Speaker 3: I just that's just not who I am. I'm more 1172 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:25,040 Speaker 3: of like a talker, not a listener. And then they 1173 00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,920 Speaker 3: just are like, and that's fine. They don't understand how 1174 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,200 Speaker 3: much of a detriment it is to just always eat 1175 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,840 Speaker 3: someone else's crap. Yeah, even when you're going through it, 1176 00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,840 Speaker 3: they come over and they're like, yeah, whatever, shut up. Anyways, Yeah, 1177 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,439 Speaker 3: so they totally scuffed my shoe and I got into 1178 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:44,240 Speaker 3: the elevator, and like basically from there, my whole day 1179 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,200 Speaker 3: just got worse and worse. And it's like, you know, 1180 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,320 Speaker 3: but I put my cat down, yet yesterday I put 1181 00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:49,640 Speaker 3: my cat. 1182 00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,760 Speaker 5: You no, no, we'd shut up because I'm getting the best 1183 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:52,320 Speaker 5: part of the story. 1184 00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:54,680 Speaker 1: And it's like, what the heck? 1185 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,240 Speaker 3: You have to be fully unaware because no one would 1186 00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:58,560 Speaker 3: consciously live their life that way. 1187 00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,160 Speaker 1: Hope. He continues to my therapist about cheese puff incident, 1188 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,840 Speaker 1: and subsequently about the other instances. It's good, advised to 1189 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:09,240 Speaker 1: draw up boundaries to better protect my emotional mental health. 1190 00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:14,400 Speaker 1: I have since then severely curtailed my deeper interactions with Lindy. 1191 00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:18,400 Speaker 1: This person reads books. The boundaries are drawn, which everyone 1192 00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,840 Speaker 1: relts respects, but Lindy often treats as if they don't 1193 00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,959 Speaker 1: apply to her. She's a foreign The integram test, Wait 1194 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:29,040 Speaker 1: what you'll take the test? The ingram? Yeah, okay, I haven't. 1195 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:30,000 Speaker 5: I think I've done that once. 1196 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,200 Speaker 1: I can't remember. It's like the Christian version of like 1197 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:37,800 Speaker 1: the the gym ni astrology astrology stuff. Oh okay. Have 1198 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,480 Speaker 1: helped immensely, But at the same time, I often worry 1199 00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,720 Speaker 1: that it's coming off as me icing her out, and 1200 00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:48,040 Speaker 1: that I'm being unfair or mean to her by doing so. Dude, 1201 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,520 Speaker 1: what do you want do you want not to be 1202 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,600 Speaker 1: having a good friend or do you want this not 1203 00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:55,760 Speaker 1: good friends? Like, yeah, you're icing around? 1204 00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,160 Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, you can tell her why. Yeah, So 1205 00:58:58,320 --> 00:58:59,960 Speaker 5: I did have the thing close. 1206 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:00,680 Speaker 1: This is this for me? 1207 00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:03,240 Speaker 3: It was like I had a buddy who would always 1208 00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,880 Speaker 3: just like complain, where it's like we could be talking 1209 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 3: about something great and then it's like, all of a sudden, 1210 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,920 Speaker 3: it's like about how something sucks, or it's like how 1211 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,000 Speaker 3: they don't like this or don't like that. And I 1212 00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,160 Speaker 3: eventually told him, I was like, hey, we gotta can 1213 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,200 Speaker 3: you like, I really don't like how you do that. 1214 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,080 Speaker 3: You seem to do it like a lot, like almost 1215 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,480 Speaker 3: without knowing. And then he changed it and it improved 1216 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,800 Speaker 3: all that and more. I have left and said has 1217 00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:28,760 Speaker 3: left me not wanting her to be part of the 1218 00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:31,320 Speaker 3: bridal party for my next fall. Oh yeah, the broader 1219 00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:31,720 Speaker 3: party thing. 1220 00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,080 Speaker 1: When we were younger, we talked about weddings and such, 1221 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,920 Speaker 1: swore to be each other's maids of honor. When it 1222 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,200 Speaker 1: came time, I no longer want her to be my 1223 00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,320 Speaker 1: maid of honor. I don't even want her to be 1224 00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:46,040 Speaker 1: a regular bridesmaids. I've already asked masks brother's wife to 1225 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,280 Speaker 1: be my maid of honor, and I've already asked two 1226 00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,880 Speaker 1: close friends of ten to fifteen years to be my bridesmaids. 1227 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,320 Speaker 1: I no longer trust Lindy to be there for me, 1228 00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,680 Speaker 1: to support me, prioritize me ahead of herself on a 1229 00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,960 Speaker 1: day when I'm likely to be stressed out and in pain. 1230 01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:04,280 Speaker 1: I have chronic pain issues and needed all the support 1231 01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:08,600 Speaker 1: mentally and emotionally, but possibly physically as well as I 1232 01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:11,960 Speaker 1: can get. I don't expect to have anything crazy bride 1233 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,920 Speaker 1: I don't expect to have any crazy Bridezilla demands, but 1234 01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,080 Speaker 1: it's going to be a long and tiring day, and 1235 01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:22,400 Speaker 1: I can't rely on someone I no longer trust who 1236 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,560 Speaker 1: might just peace out on me halfway through if she's 1237 01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:30,760 Speaker 1: just not feeling it. Additionally, Lindy has her own chronic 1238 01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:34,440 Speaker 1: conditions that do affect her stamina and energy levels. Even 1239 01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,760 Speaker 1: if our friendship wasn't rocky, it would be unfair and 1240 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,439 Speaker 1: setting her up for failure to expect her to take 1241 01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,800 Speaker 1: on that role, as it will start really early in 1242 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:47,600 Speaker 1: the morning and last easily sixteen hours or longer. I've 1243 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,480 Speaker 1: come up with the way for her to still be 1244 01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:52,680 Speaker 1: a part of my wedding beyond just attending as a guest, 1245 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,360 Speaker 1: as I don't want her to fill left out or 1246 01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:59,440 Speaker 1: that I'm deliberately shunning her. However, I worry that no 1247 01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,840 Speaker 1: matter what alternatives I offer and how I make it work, 1248 01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:05,800 Speaker 1: she'll be hurt by me not asking her to be 1249 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:09,919 Speaker 1: a bridesmaid. I've tried to best bride size her as 1250 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:13,480 Speaker 1: many aspects of my life. I kill the cheese book incident. 1251 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,480 Speaker 1: Even now, I still can't help but feel like I 1252 01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,560 Speaker 1: owe it to our many years of friendship, show her 1253 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:22,200 Speaker 1: the favor to or to cut her some slack. I 1254 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,320 Speaker 1: don't know what to do regarding this whole bridesmaid's matter. 1255 01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,360 Speaker 1: Do I go ahead with my alternative option, or do 1256 01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,880 Speaker 1: I not have her involved at all beyond just being 1257 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:32,320 Speaker 1: a guest? 1258 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, that one. 1259 01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,840 Speaker 1: My indecision is founded in a nagging feeling that maybe 1260 01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm being too harsh on her. I would really appreciate 1261 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:43,160 Speaker 1: the advice on how to proceed with sensitivity and kindness. 1262 01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,000 Speaker 1: Thank you all for taking the time and effort to 1263 01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:49,240 Speaker 1: read this ridiculously long post. There's so much backstory and 1264 01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:51,680 Speaker 1: so much more context. And there are many more incidents 1265 01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:54,480 Speaker 1: that have happened in the past since losing my cat. 1266 01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,360 Speaker 1: They've all added up to me making me feel this way, 1267 01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:00,040 Speaker 1: and I do not want to make these decisions. I 1268 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:01,880 Speaker 1: only spoke to this about the main one, which she's 1269 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:03,160 Speaker 1: puff Oh Pie's. 1270 01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,360 Speaker 2: Just just sweetie pin. 1271 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,120 Speaker 5: Like, I feel like I'm being too harsh. Dude, she 1272 01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,800 Speaker 5: literally ghosted you after your. 1273 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:11,600 Speaker 2: Cat passed away. 1274 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not really a best friend. That's more of 1275 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,840 Speaker 1: a friend at that point. And people grow. I'm talking 1276 01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,560 Speaker 1: to a friend right now where her and her girlfriend 1277 01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:24,960 Speaker 1: that like, I've been like friends for years years she 1278 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,600 Speaker 1: they now have different interests and they're like, hey, like 1279 01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,040 Speaker 1: she wants to go do this, but I kind of 1280 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:31,640 Speaker 1: want to go and do that, and they're not like 1281 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,040 Speaker 1: matching on that. I'm like, I know, it's really hard 1282 01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,400 Speaker 1: because you guys have been like friends since like you know, 1283 01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:41,000 Speaker 1: elementary school. People grow apart, and it sounds like emotionally 1284 01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,840 Speaker 1: you guys are going apart, and just as marriage, I 1285 01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:48,120 Speaker 1: feel like friendships, good friendships should be like equal yoke, 1286 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,800 Speaker 1: Like you want people around you that'll support you and 1287 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:52,640 Speaker 1: set you up for your best self. You don't want 1288 01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,480 Speaker 1: people like taking that from you. Sometimes you can give 1289 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,840 Speaker 1: that and you can give energy to others. But if 1290 01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,360 Speaker 1: like people are taking it from you where they're not 1291 01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:02,600 Speaker 1: supporting you in their best with day, even on your 1292 01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:06,280 Speaker 1: worst days, I should show you something. It should