Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central, Welcome to the Daily Show.
Speaker 2: Please, my name's got short.
Speaker 3: We got a lot.
Speaker 2: We got a lot going on in the world today,
Speaker 2: very consequential, the things that you're seeing on the news
Speaker 2: and all that, huge consequences. But I would be remiss
Speaker 2: if I did not comment on the big news and broadcasting.
Speaker 2: Pat Say Jack Patrick Sajack stepped down from Wheel of
Speaker 2: Fortune after forty one years. It was incredibly emotional, and
Speaker 2: I just want to say to Pat Sayjack, have you
Speaker 2: thought about just doing Mondays? Be calm, you can phone that.
Speaker 2: But of course he is gone, just in time for
Speaker 2: Pride Months. Ironically, Oh that's a long. Pride Months is
Speaker 2: of course that time of year when corporations get together
Speaker 2: and financially exploit.
Speaker 3: The decades long struggle.
Speaker 2: Of gay people for acceptance and equality. Hey remember when
Speaker 2: you a fire it from that bank job after you
Speaker 2: were outed. Well, Burger King does with a burger that
Speaker 2: has two bottom buns. Yeah, that's that's not a funny
Speaker 2: make them up scarred by conversion therapy. Skittles is releasing
Speaker 2: a colorless version of Skittles, apparently not wanting to confuse
Speaker 2: gay people with competing rainbows. Yeah, and then there's this
Speaker 2: ad showing a family overcoming a father's deep conservative values.
Speaker 2: As you watch it, try and guess exactly what it
Speaker 2: is they're selling.
Speaker 1: Mom, This is Amy.
Speaker 3: Hi, Amy, Hey dad all over he day? Literally?
Speaker 2: Is that your dad?
Speaker 4: What does he doing?
Speaker 2: Did I do it right? What the fu?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: The next time you waste an enormous amount of paint
Speaker 2: to a pot, to your daughter for making a herd
Speaker 2: a girlfriend walk on big shells off weekend, not even
Speaker 2: saying anything, just standing there with your little glowering beard
Speaker 2: face in the shadows. Just taint the face and give
Speaker 2: her an oreo. And then of course there's Target. Pride
Speaker 2: months means so much to them that they set up
Speaker 2: one small area in their twenty thousand square feet of
Speaker 2: store to sell you a Pride t shirt they had
Speaker 2: made in Indonesia for twenty nine cents landing because they
Speaker 2: believe so much in the cause. Well, Target will be
Speaker 2: dialing back It's Pride month merchandise this June. What how
Speaker 2: will I learn to live? Laugh lesbian?
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Target is apparently less proud of Pride this year.
Speaker 1: But why retail giant Target is scrappling with backlash from
Speaker 1: conservatives over its most recent collection celebrating the LGBTQ community.
Speaker 3: Not shop at Target or else, you're gay, and Jarre.
Speaker 2: Perbert, even if I'm just getting paper bowels. But that's
Speaker 2: the burden. Corporations must bear, the care almost too much
Speaker 2: about the human condition, often finding themselves in the crosshairs
Speaker 2: of ideologues and fundamentalists. But they stand by their values,
Speaker 2: sometimes for a couple of months. For instance, post January sixth,
Speaker 2: hundreds of corporations announced the end of donations to senators
Speaker 2: or congressmen who voted to overturn the election, and that
Speaker 2: moral stand in defense of democracy itself lasted almost a month. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they ran the numbers, and apparently you can sell more
Speaker 2: cell phones in the dictatorship, But that month appears almost
Speaker 2: gandhiesque when compared to bud Light, whose foray into inclusion
Speaker 2: was last April's incredibly not in the public space small
Speaker 2: promotional social media video with a transgender influencer named Dylan
Speaker 2: mulvaney prompting a conservative bud Light murder purge. Dear god man,
Speaker 2: those beers had families. Bud Light sales plummeted, stocks tank
Speaker 2: and it only took two weeks for Budweiser to issue
Speaker 2: an apology and run a new ad campaign designed to
Speaker 2: win back the kind of people who shoot at their products.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you a story about a beer rooted
Speaker 4: in the heart of America.
Speaker 2: A talking horse. You're apologizing about a transmitter influencer. You
Speaker 2: think a talking horse, Well, tell us your story.
Speaker 4: National velvet found in a community where a handshake is
Speaker 4: a sure contract.
Speaker 3: This is a.
Speaker 4: Story bigger than beer. This is the story of the
Speaker 4: American spirit.
Speaker 2: First of all, I think that horse is scared shitless.
Speaker 2: And second of all, the apology gift to the people
Speaker 2: upset about Budweiser is a Budweiser curious But don't be sad,
Speaker 2: for this is only following in a long line of
Speaker 2: hollow corporate pandering. Meant to convince you that not only
Speaker 2: are corporation's people, they're good people, decent people who care
Speaker 2: about the systemic ills of this great nation. We saw
Speaker 2: this very clearly in the wake of George Floyd's murder.
Speaker 2: Corporations saw people's demand for a reckoning with America's racists past,
Speaker 2: and they said, sure us too.
Speaker 5: We're on a four hundred year long journey and scars
Speaker 5: don't fade, but neither does hope.
Speaker 6: And in the fight against systematic racism and inequalities, the
Speaker 6: readers is committing to amplifying black voices.
Speaker 4: General Mills served the world by making food people love
Speaker 4: and inclusion.
Speaker 2: It's one of our secret.
Speaker 3: Ingredients at Craft Times.
Speaker 7: Our purpose is to make life delicious, and we believe
Speaker 7: we can't achieve that. No one essential ingredients diversity.
Speaker 2: Are you sure you don't mean sodium trifass? Meanwhile, while
Speaker 2: corporations forcefully pronounced their deeply held value of promoting diversity
Speaker 2: on network television, their commitment only lasted until the protests
Speaker 2: died down.
Speaker 3: Time for the Morning Buzz.
Speaker 5: Major tech giants including Google and Meta quietly slashing their diversity,
Speaker 5: equity and inclusion jobs this year and laying off workers
Speaker 5: in those departments. DEI related job postings in twenty twenty
Speaker 5: three declined forty four percent.
Speaker 6: Ah.
Speaker 2: I guess they only needed to use much less of
Speaker 2: that ingredient than they thought they made. It turns out
Speaker 2: the recipe Craft wanted called for just a dash of inclusion,
Speaker 2: just a sousson of diversity. Are very clearly conflicted between
Speaker 2: the high moral values that they think we want and
Speaker 2: the amorl values that serve their shareholders. So, if I
Speaker 2: may address corporate America quickly in this moment, stop we
Speaker 2: don't need any of this. We don't need to know
Speaker 2: that your products are used by only the most diverse
Speaker 2: families walking down sidewalks or camping, or diverse families doing
Speaker 2: a ride or getting a loan or doing laundry, or
Speaker 2: a diverse I don't know what they are. This guy
Speaker 2: doesn't thing, he's got a skin condition, and no way
Speaker 2: is he dating r No way, no way, there is
Speaker 2: no way. Oh sure, we're supposed to believe how many
Speaker 2: beautiful multi racial ladies are dating ezema opie. Oh okay, okay,
Speaker 2: very believable. I apologize. I apologize sincerely to that gentleman.
Speaker 2: And by the way, for those on the right who
Speaker 2: wish corporations would just ditch the woke performances and go
Speaker 2: back to good old fashioned patriotic values, that's all bullshit too.
Speaker 2: For God's sakes, Spaghettios told us not to forget Pearl Harbor.
Speaker 2: By the way, why is the Spaghettio so happy about
Speaker 2: Pearl Harbor? See remembering it or celebrating it? I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be surprised if Spaghettio's supported pearl Harbor attack. Technically, a
Speaker 2: can of Spaghetio's is a sneak attack on your digestive system. Spaghettios, Scaghetios,
Speaker 2: the RBS of pasta. Why are we allowing ourselves to
Speaker 2: get worked up over whether giant multinational corporations are pro
Speaker 2: gay or have traditional American values? Because corporations have but
Speaker 2: one value, shareholder value. That's all they have. That Budweiser
Speaker 2: horse that wants to restore our American spirit is actually
Speaker 2: owned by a Belgian Brazilian beverage conglomerate that all American
Speaker 2: Clydesdale's name is probably Jean Locobo scenario. Even the corporations
Speaker 2: you think are sincere, like Dove and their multi year
Speaker 2: commitments to body positivity, are owned by Unilever, also the
Speaker 2: owner of Axe body Spray, and they're decades long commitment
Speaker 2: to anything that ooves. There is nothing corporations do that
Speaker 2: is not in service of their bottom line. Even when
Speaker 2: you go to the checkout at the grocery store and
Speaker 2: the little card reader thing says, do you want to
Speaker 2: round up to help feed some children? Well, the first
Speaker 2: thing I think is you're the one with all the food,
Speaker 2: why don't you round.
Speaker 8: Some of that off?
Speaker 3: And then they got the balls.
Speaker 2: They got the balls to put out a press release
Speaker 2: talk about how much money they donated to stop world hunger.
Speaker 2: Than's my money, you tell those kids, that's my buddy.
Speaker 2: Let's stop pretending that a corporation can even be woke
Speaker 2: or unwoke, or patriotic or unpatriotic. Let's just let corporations
Speaker 2: live their truth as the profit seeking Patrick Bateman psychopaths
Speaker 2: they are, at the very least we might find on
Speaker 2: we life finally get some honesty from them as well.
Speaker 8: Take a look, Hi, we're corporate America, not any specific one,
Speaker 8: all of them.
Speaker 9: And over the years we've pledged our commitment to some
Speaker 9: important causes like gay rights, democracy, and something to do
Speaker 9: with black people.
Speaker 8: But this month we're proud to celebrate our biggest commitment
Speaker 8: of all, no longer pretending that we give a shit
Speaker 8: about any of that. Part of our new honesty, we
Speaker 8: pledge no more mission statements or awareness campaigns or promises
Speaker 8: to increase diversity and management.
Speaker 9: You think a year ago would be putting up two
Speaker 9: straight white people.
Speaker 3: As spokesmen who got No.
Speaker 8: We have hired two diverse actors to pretend they worked here.
Speaker 2: What a time.
Speaker 3: Time.
Speaker 9: But from now on, we're just going to go back
Speaker 9: to doing what we are designed to do, making products
Speaker 9: as cheaply as we can and selling them to you
Speaker 9: at the highest price possible.
Speaker 8: Yes, but we'll still be carbon neutral because it's important
Speaker 8: to get to net zero.
Speaker 2: We never did that in the first place.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what it means.
Speaker 2: And here at Corporate America, love is love.
Speaker 3: What do you mean you already told me? I just.
Speaker 6: You start with one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds
Speaker 6: in American history, Hunter Biden. He's gotten away with being
Speaker 6: Joe Biden's son for years, but today he faced Delaware justice.
Speaker 2: We begin with our.
Speaker 10: Breaking news of federal jury finding Hunter Biden guilty on
Speaker 10: three felony gun charges. The President's son walking out of
Speaker 10: the courtroom earlier today, a convicted felon.
Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, Frankly, I'm shocked.
Speaker 6: We're actually enforcing gun laws in America.
Speaker 3: Helujah.
Speaker 6: What has been wild is watching how eager Republicans have
Speaker 6: been to hold a gun owner accountable. Of course, it's
Speaker 6: only because he's Joe Biden's But that's an opportunity. All
Speaker 6: we need is for Joe Biden to adopt every single
Speaker 6: person in America and we can finally have some responsible
Speaker 6: gun control in this country. Yes, let's move on to
Speaker 6: some news out of the Supreme Court. Last weekend, an
Speaker 6: undercover activist stuck into a private reception and secretly recorded
Speaker 6: Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, and no surprise, it turns
Speaker 6: out that the guy who over ruled Roe v. Wade
Speaker 6: is a bit of a religious nut. What was much
Speaker 6: more interesting is that this activist also recorded Alito's wife,
Speaker 6: Martha and Alito She's already been in the news for
Speaker 6: flying an upside down American flag at their house after
Speaker 6: Trump lost the twenty twenty election, and then for flying
Speaker 6: a far right appeal to Heaven flag at their beach house.
Speaker 6: And if you thought two flags with a lot of flags,
Speaker 6: this lady's just getting started.
Speaker 4: You know what I want?
Speaker 8: I want a Sacred Heart of Jesus' flag because I
Speaker 8: had to look across the lagoon at the Pride flag
Speaker 8: for the next month and he's like, oh, please, don't
Speaker 8: put up a flag.
Speaker 1: I said, I won't do it because I'm deferring to you.
Speaker 5: But when you were free of this nonsense.
Speaker 8: I'm putting it up and I'm going to send them
Speaker 8: a message every day, maybe every week.
Speaker 2: I'll be changing the flags.
Speaker 3: Holy shit, this lady looks flags.
Speaker 6: I mean, once Alito retires, that house is gonna look
Speaker 6: like a Spanish galleon. I mean, lady, the United Nations called,
Speaker 6: they said, tone it down with the flags, you know,
Speaker 6: But even Betsy Ross is like, Jesus was only doing
Speaker 6: this because we didn't have Netflix liking flags this much
Speaker 6: is ironically the ultimate red flag.
Speaker 3: And yeah, let to think of io. I also love.
Speaker 6: How she refers to her husband's job as nonsense. This
Speaker 6: man is one of the most consequential men in the country.
Speaker 6: But she's like, I can't wait until you're done with
Speaker 6: your little black robe bullshit so I can gets on
Speaker 6: what really matters semaphore. So Martha Ann got so mad
Speaker 6: after seeing a Pride flag that she's planning to put
Speaker 6: up a whole bunch of Jesus flags to combat it,
Speaker 6: because everyone knows Jesus is the ultimate symbol of your love.
Speaker 6: And also if she runs out of flags, don't worry,
Speaker 6: She's thinking of more flags in her head, there'll be.
Speaker 11: All I made a flag, give my head.
Speaker 5: This is how I satisfy myself.
Speaker 11: I made a flag.
Speaker 8: It's white and it's yellow and orange flames around it,
Speaker 8: and in the middle is the.
Speaker 6: Word Vigonia Virgonia in Italian names shamee.
Speaker 3: Whoa first off? What a burd on?
Speaker 6: Justice Toleno, Your wife is going around telling strangers that
Speaker 6: she has to think up new flags to satisfy herself.
Speaker 6: I gotta think up new flags because it's not like
Speaker 6: there's anybody else taking care of my needs. Somebody's got
Speaker 6: a pleasing by Ferguson.
Speaker 9: Come on.
Speaker 6: No, not to be a hater, but designing a special
Speaker 6: flag for yourself is literally a homework assignment.
Speaker 3: My kindergartener just had.
Speaker 6: He drew a butt farting on a stick figure man,
Speaker 6: who I'm pretty sure is supposed.
Speaker 3: To be me.
Speaker 6: I don't love it, but it still beats Burgonia. Look,
Speaker 6: I think there's a missed opportunity. Instead of getting mad
Speaker 6: at the pride flags, Martha Ann could use this opportunity
Speaker 6: to find unity.
Speaker 3: You love flags, they love flags.
Speaker 6: The people you really should be fighting are the lawn
Speaker 6: sign people. No motion, you can't see it. From up high.
Speaker 6: No way to tell the wind direction. I mean, those
Speaker 6: lawn sign people are animals and we all know it. Finally,
Speaker 6: let's talk about a local story with major implications. Here
Speaker 6: in New York City, we have the worst traffic out
Speaker 6: of any city in America? Did you know it took
Speaker 6: me two and a half hours to get to work
Speaker 6: this morning? I mean, granted, I stopped along the way
Speaker 6: to watch the Garfield.
Speaker 3: Movie, but tuesdays am I right now? To solve this?
Speaker 6: New York was set to become the first city in
Speaker 6: America to try congestion pricing, which is a toll on
Speaker 6: anyone who wants to drive into the busiest parts of Manhattan.
Speaker 6: That is until a few days ago, when Governor Hokel
Speaker 6: pulled the plug on the plan without warning, and while
Speaker 6: everyone assumed she was worried about Democrats losing votes in
Speaker 6: the upcoming election, Hochel has a different explanation.
Speaker 2: Hochel says her experiences talking to people in Manhattan diners
Speaker 2: like this one near Grand Central made her realize New
Speaker 2: Yorkers just aren't ready for congestion pricing.
Speaker 3: All I know is I.
Speaker 11: Encourage you to go to the next diner with me.
Speaker 11: And I'll probably be there Monday morning, sit with me
Speaker 11: and watch the.
Speaker 3: People come over and thank me.
Speaker 11: That's all I need to know.
Speaker 6: After literally five five years of debate, study, and preparation,
Speaker 6: Hokeel scrapped the whole plan because she talked to some
Speaker 6: people in a diner.
Speaker 3: Who cares what people in a diner think. There's other Americans?
Speaker 3: What about the home cooks. Huh.
Speaker 6: The guy who pops open a can of progress so soup,
Speaker 6: goes to put it in the microwave, says git, then
Speaker 6: just drinks it cold.
Speaker 3: Huh, don't I. I mean they deserve a voice too. Look,
Speaker 3: it's true, congestion pricing won't.
Speaker 6: Be popular with everyone, and it might cost you some
Speaker 6: votes in the suburbs. But from time to time, leaders
Speaker 6: are called upon to envision a better future, be bold
Speaker 6: the implementation and execution, and be undaunted by the opposition.
Speaker 3: That's how you secure progress. Wait a second, I heard
Speaker 3: that somewhere before.
Speaker 11: Anybody's sick and tired of gridlock in New York City.
Speaker 11: From time to time, leaders are called upon to envision
Speaker 11: a better future, be bold in the implementation and execution,
Speaker 11: and be undaunted by the opposition. That's how you secure progress.
Speaker 6: Oh shit, Dathie Hogel has an evil twin who's good
Speaker 6: at governing?
Speaker 2: Who knows?
Speaker 3: For more, on.
Speaker 6: Governor Hochel's decision to reverse congestion pricing, we turned to
Speaker 6: senior political analyst Michael Costa. Michael, Michael, Look, the governor
Speaker 6: was fully in support of this plan six months ago.
Speaker 6: How is she so weak willed that she would change
Speaker 6: her mind after a silly diner conversation?
Speaker 9: Well, actually, Jordan, there's nothing silly about a diner conversation.
Speaker 9: Political experts like myself understand that any opinion has extra
Speaker 9: power when it's set over a plate of eggs and toast.
Speaker 3: It's called the diner effect.
Speaker 9: Okay, Now, for example, if I were to tell the
Speaker 9: governor to flip flop on congestion pricing, she'd say no.
Speaker 2: But what if I said, hey.
Speaker 9: Governor, you got to cancel that plan, because every working
Speaker 9: guy knows that when the screws gets stripped, you gotta
Speaker 9: hammer the nail yourself.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 6: I don't think that means anything, Michael, but you know
Speaker 6: there's something in that that is very common sense.
Speaker 3: You're right, canceled the plan?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you see what happened.
Speaker 3: Then wait, oh shit, did I agree with you?
Speaker 9: Yeah, you've fallen for the folksy ramblings of a man
Speaker 9: who doesn't know how to make his own toast.
Speaker 3: Damn it, damn it, damn it. You're right.
Speaker 6: Okay, you know what, I won't fall for that again.
Speaker 6: We can't afford to because the city has to figure
Speaker 6: out how to replace all the revenue that this plan
Speaker 6: was going to raise.
Speaker 2: Well, I have an idea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, well you know what I says. The whole
Speaker 3: thing could be soft leganty split.
Speaker 9: All right, you just take away to immigrants and you
Speaker 9: say get.
Speaker 2: Out of here boom.
Speaker 3: But hey, you know what do I know?
Speaker 2: I'm just a guy.
Speaker 9: I eat six sausage in links for breakfast.
Speaker 2: I'm oh, I didn't.
Speaker 6: I didn't think there's an they got anything to do
Speaker 6: with immigrants. But there's something about the way you eat
Speaker 6: those sausages that makes me believe you.
Speaker 3: Got you again, God damn it, it's all in the din. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, as long as I'm eating the number four special,
Speaker 4: people will think that I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: I mean that it is very very effective.
Speaker 2: Now check this out.
Speaker 9: Okay, if you got through a stack of thirty pancakes.
Speaker 2: You don't even have to say real words. All right, Hey,
Speaker 2: let me tell you.
Speaker 3: Something, all right, got mos?
Speaker 2: Good, don I'm in the boat.
Speaker 6: Oh congestion, So okay, I know, Like, look, Michael, Michael,
Speaker 6: don't you see the irony here that the actual working
Speaker 6: class people are taking the subway. They're the ones that
Speaker 6: are going to be hurt by this ormative fealty to
Speaker 6: suburban car driving voters.
Speaker 2: I have no idea what you're saying right now.
Speaker 3: Malonda Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe
Speaker 3: by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3: Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Speaker 3: Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus
Speaker 3: Paramount Podcasts