WEBVTT - How Men Think with Eric Winter 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.840 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:08.039 is how Men thick and I heard radio podcast What 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:11.720 is Up? Everybody? I am so pumped to be filling 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:15.200 in here as a as a guest on How Men Think. 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:18.840 I've been on this podcast in the past and to 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:21.280 be able to host it now this time is gonna 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.000 be a lot of fun. So let me tell you 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.280 a little bit about myself. You know, I'm Eric Winter. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.640 You might know me from a current TV show on 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:32.559 one right now called The Rookie on ABC. I was 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.479 on something called Which Is of East End before they 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.040 had a big cult following in a movie The Ugly Truth. 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:39.160 Those are just a few of the things Nilga. Truth 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:43.240 actually bodes very well with a podcast like How Men Think? 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.920 To be quite honest. Um. I also have a podcast 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:48.879 with my wife Roslyn Sanchez called he said a yadjo 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:53.080 that if you haven't checked out, you need to do so. Um. 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:54.920 And other than that, I'm gonna try and answer some 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:57.520 of your questions and uh, but before we do that, 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:02.160 let's go ahead and start with eleven questions. Uh for me, Okay, 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:05.920 what are you known for? Tell us about yourself? Well, 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:09.280 I guess I am known for being an actor. Um, 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:13.600 I once was a model many years ago. Um, but 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.440 now I guess you could say I'm known for being 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:19.000 an actor. Who am I in my personal life and 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:21.399 my personal life, I am definitely not an actor. I 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.120 am a father and I am a husband, and uh, 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.680 those are my two greatest priorities. And I'm a son, 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:31.560 um so those. Uh. My family is the most important 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:33.160 thing to me, so I try to put that first 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.640 with everything I do. Um, let's see three shows that 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:41.039 I am binge watching right now. I'm watching Winning Time, 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.880 the Lakers, Showtime Era, uh, series that just started up 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:50.320 on HBO Max. I just finished binging um Yellow Jackets 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:54.760 on Showtime, which I loved. I was way into very 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:58.520 cool show. Um, let's see you Gosh before that, I 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.480 don't know one other show. I know my wife wants 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:03.320 me to start The Crown, but I'm way way late 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.160 on that and I get a lot of anxiety watching 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.040 five seasons of any show at this point, so that 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:12.560 probably won't happen. My favorite food uh, Mexican food. I 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.080 think that's usually my go to tacos. I mean I 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.920 love tacos. About my career, well, I talked about it 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:22.520 a little bit at the top of this, uh segment. 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.360 But you know I wanted to be a doctor. I 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.000 was a premid student at U c l A. I 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:31.079 fell into the acting world after taking a drama class 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.520 in college and which actually you know, led me down 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.280 the road of modeling and commercials and studying acting and 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:41.959 uh my career. I got very fortunate became an actual profession. 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.560 I should say acting is a is a tricky business. 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:47.919 It's not always a profession. It's sometimes something you're just 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:52.280 plugging away at a challenge. My biggest fear, I don't 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:58.320 really know that I have a biggest fear in my life. Um, 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.600 probably just the health and safety of my family, I guess. 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:07.680 Um biggest pet peeve? Wow, my biggest pet peeve is 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:12.959 probably when people complain a lot and never try to 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:18.160 do anything about it. That pretty much drives me crazy. Um, 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.520 something that we talked about on he said ADIHO a 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.680 lot my other podcast, because I like to fix things. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:27.280 I don't like to sit and just complain. Um. What 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.560 makes me the most happy? I'm gonna go back to 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:32.280 the answer I said before, but my family. My family 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.880 makes me the most happy. And my ideal Saturday is 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:38.240 pretty much getting that family time in because when I'm 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:39.640 working during the week, I don't get to see the 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:41.960 kids as much. And also I love watching my daughter 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.160 play tennis, so a good Saturday morning tennis match is 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.080 at the top of my list. Although it stresses me 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.800 out and I go crazy while I'm watching it, I 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:53.960 do enjoy it and I'm definitely more Uh. To answer 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.080 a question ten here, I'm definitely more of an athlete 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:02.440 than an armchair quarterback. Um. I yeah, And what keeps 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.800 me motivated, I think, plain and simple is probably the 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.560 drive to be the best I can be for my kids. UM, 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.880 to try and set a good example for them moving 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.640 forward in this world. And although I fail quite often, 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.719 I try to pick myself back up and be the 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:22.520 example for them. So that would answer my eleven questions. Okay, well, 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.640 before we get into some listener questions, I'm gonna I'm 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.159 gonna do some Q and a UM that listeners have 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:32.760 wrote in about. UM. Let's see, is it hard to 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:36.520 surprise your wife with romantic gestures? What do you suggest 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.640 for couples who have been together for a while. Well, 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:41.600 you know what, it does get more challenging. I would 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.840 say the longer you've been with somebody to surprise an 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.480 individual because they they they've figured you out in a 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.480 lot of ways, so it's it's tough to spring one 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:53.080 on them. Um. But I do try really hard to 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.640 always be creative and to dig deep in the vault 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.800 and try to come up with something fun. Um And 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.000 that's you know, my advice us again would be for 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:02.680 couples to all do the same. I mean, you've got 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:04.599 to try to keep it interesting. But you know, surprises 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:08.359 aren't always the most important part. Just the romantic gesture itself, 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:12.159 uh speaks volumes. So I think that is is what 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.320 is the most important in that situation, is just make 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.520 the effort. Um. Do I agree with the motto that 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:21.360 marriage comes first before the kids? And you know, I 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:26.159 would say yes. I would say marriage definitely is something 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.640 that you should put at the front of a family 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.880 because you're a you're setting this sort of tone in 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:36.240 the household. The kids are always an a priority in 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:39.400 the situation. But if the marriage is not intact and 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:41.640 you're not putting that first, then I think the kids 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.080 suffer as a result of that. So I think if 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.240 you can put the marriage first, it all will fall 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:51.000 back on the family in the most positive way possible. 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:54.560 Let's see, Um, do ros And and and I talk about 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.719 our love languages. Yes, we definitely have talked about our 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:00.520 love languages on our podcast quite a bit. We definitely 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:03.080 do not agree on the same types of love languages. 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:06.560 But I think, you know, I love the idea of 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.160 love languages. I think that the they they hit the 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:10.960 nail on the head. You know. I think if you 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.520 can understand what makes your partner tick, I think that 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.520 is the most important part in a relationship because everybody, 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.400 everybody is motivated by something different in a relationship and 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.239 what really makes them happy. So I think it's important 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:29.839 to acknowledge it and figure it out. Um, let's see, 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.640 is it too forward or aggressive for a woman to 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.000 ask a guy on a date? Absolutely not. I think 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.839 a woman knowing what she wants and being confident and 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.080 and going after what she wants is super attractive. So 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:44.800 I don't think a woman should sit back. But I 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:48.520 also completely believe in chivalrie, and I believe that a 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:55.760 man should also step up and be an incredible um pursuer. 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.360 You know, I think pull out all the stops, make it, 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.640 make it known you are attracted to the person of interest. 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.080 And go for it. But but women don't hold back. 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:09.359 Don't hold back at all. Um. Let's see, before my 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.320 new boyfriend meets my parents, should I tell him about 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:16.240 my family's issues? What? Well? I you know, Wow, I 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.920 guess it depends on what your family's issues are. UM. 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:24.000 If they are too intense, I would probably hold back, 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:28.200 UM at first, sort of make the intro. Let the 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:32.800 boyfriend experience it for himself, don't you know, because you 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.640 might put something out there that's too much and and 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:37.480 maybe it wasn't that bad when he meets the parents 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:40.640 for the first time. But if they're hardcore, yeah, if 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.680 if if your parents are impossible, then you might want 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.160 to give them heads up just to not take it 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:50.080 to a too serious. UM. Let's see, how soon do 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.800 you talk about past relationships with your partner? You know, 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.600 I don't really think it's good to talk about past 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:59.320 relationships at all, unless my partner were to bring it up. Um. 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:03.040 That's not something I'm big on. I never go into 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.720 a new relationship talking about my past relationships by any means. UM. 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:08.920 But if my partner were to ask any questions, I 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:12.280 would be honest. I would I would share. UM, definitely 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.080 talk about what I've learned from them, but I would 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.160 not indulge in them. I think that can be a 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:21.440 Oh that's a bad situation. Looking for a problem, is 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:26.320 what I would say. Diving into the past. Um, let's see, 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:28.520 do you guys plan dates anymore? If I'm a guy 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:31.640 and I'm interested If I if a guy I am 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:34.200 interested in has not planned a date but has asked 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:36.560 me to hang out, does this mean he is not 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:40.679 interested in me? Seriously? Look, I definitely still planned dates 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:43.120 from my wife. I have to put him together. But 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:44.960 I and I think if a guy asked someone out 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.640 but doesn't have something fully planned, it doesn't necessarily mean 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:50.640 he's not interested. It just it might be a flag 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:52.440 for you that if you look, if you like a 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:55.600 guy who's putting the effort in and really wanting to 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.080 show you that he's brought his a game, then that 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.000 might be something you're paying attention to. But I don't 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:02.400 don't know that it quite means he's not interested in you. 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:07.200 He's just not prepared. He's not he's not a planner, 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:12.320 which could be a problem for something. Uh, let's see 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:17.640 maybe one more we can squeeze in. Um, when kids 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:19.800 come into the picture, how important is it to have 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:24.280 date nights. I think it's extremely important. It's easier said 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:27.439 than done to figure it out. You know, Rosally and 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:29.600 I are always trying to figure out ways to have 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:31.240 date nights. And then, funny enough, every time we have 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:32.719 a date night, all we do is talk about the 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:34.199 kids and now things are going at home, and I 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.480 hope they're behaving and um, but I think it's important 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.840 to try to block out that special time for each 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:44.439 other and have a proper date night because you've got 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:47.360 to keep the romance in the relationship strong in order 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.000 to keep the marriage strong, and then in turn, like 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.160 I said before, it all snowballs down onto the kids 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:57.920 as a as a good example for marriage. So that'sh 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:09.480 I think I might have answered them all. All right, 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.560 Now we are going to take some live calls and 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.720 I'm gonna do my best to answer your questions as 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:20.000 honestly as I can. Hey, Madison, Hi, how are you. 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:23.960 I'm doing great? How are you? I'm good? I'm good. 0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.880 Thank you, Thank you for having me. For sure, I'm 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:31.520 excited to hear what you have to say. Well, I'm 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:37.280 I'm hoping you have an answer for me. Um, Okay, Well, 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:42.079 for for the record, I am twenty eight um, and 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.160 I this is gonna sound crazy, but I've been with 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:48.200 my boyfriend for seven years. Seven years. Wow. OK, I 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.960 know it's a long time, but you know, for myive years, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:53.199 I guess. But when I when I talk to people 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:57.679 that are like in their thirties and forties, they're always 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:02.080 surprised that I in a long term relationship like that, 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.040 And they seem to always mention that their twenties were 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:10.319 like create there their most wild fun times of their youth. 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:14.040 And I don't know, as I'm getting closer to thirty, 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.920 I'm just questioning if I sort of missed out on 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:21.439 fun in my twenties because I've been in this long 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.880 term relationship for seven years. So I'm just I don't know, 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.000 am I thinking too much about it? Or like, am 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:31.440 I thinking too much about you know, missing out? Well, 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:35.480 I don't think you should ever think about what you're 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:39.080 missing out on. If what you're in is truly bringing 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:42.120 you a lot of happiness, that's that's where I start. 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.480 I mean, if you're if you've been really happy for 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.840 the past seven years, and you have, I mean everybody 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:49.760 has ups and downs, and seven years is a solid, 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:55.000 solid relationship. UM, I would never gauge on what you've 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.280 missed out if if, if everything has been sitting right 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.000 in front of you has been great. You know what 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.560 I mean, every everybody sure people have what I was 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.319 married when I first when I was twenty five, I 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:04.800 got married for the first time. I was divorced by 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.360 twenty eight. I was in a long term relationship when 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:10.439 I we started dating when I was let's see, we 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:15.160 started dating when I was twenty two. Uh yeah, twenty two, 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:18.120 I think. And uh, so you could say most of 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.199 my twenties were taken up by that first marriage, and 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:22.600 then I met my current wife when I was in 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:27.160 my late twenties. Now, I had wild, like high school 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.199 years even in my twenties, um, and I had a 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.480 couple of years of being single in between where I 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.920 had I had my you know, my kicks. I guess 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:37.840 you'd say or whatever, just being a being a twenty 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.800 year old. Um. But again, you know, I didn't go 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.360 through my twenties just partying all straight through. I was 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:47.400 in a long term relationship for most of that time. UM. 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:51.280 And so I again, I people that say those things, 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.640 they aren't living the reality that you were living, right, 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:56.560 So they're living a different sort of happiness, and a 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.120 lot of it is I hate to say it because 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:00.520 I've been but I've been through It's it's more of 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.680 a shallow right, like if I'm party and I'm just 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.080 living up these moments, which they're great. I'm not saying 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.719 they're not, but they're not invested in any sort of 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.120 love right, They're not. They're in the moment, and which 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.920 is also a beautiful thing for for many people at 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.679 that time. UM, let me ask you, I mean it's 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:18.480 seven years are you Are you wanting to get married? 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.000 Are you hoping to sustain a long term relationship as 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.400 a partner? Um? Is he the he? Or she the 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.200 one for you? I mean, I definitely want to get 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:32.480 married one day, and after seven years, I do think 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:36.000 that we're both ready. I mean I've of course, we've 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.679 had ups and downs like any relationship, but I've definitely 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.920 been happy. I am happy. I love him. Do you 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:46.920 think he's the one? I do? I do? I definitely 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.760 I do. Yeah that sounds cheesy, but I do. I 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.480 really do. Then that's that's all that matters. And then 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:55.280 you didn't really miss out on anything because at the 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.880 end of the day you would have your twenties. Otherwise 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:02.600 would have been party, party, date, break up, maybe hook up, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:06.079 be unfulfilled for for a long time, maybe be happy 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.200 for a little bit. You know, it's a it's a 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:10.320 big when you're single in your twenties. It's just a 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.320 big roller coaster. It's up and down of highs on 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:16.559 those I remember being single after my first my first divorce, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.520 and being so like just going wild, having to blast 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.160 and dating, dating, dating, and then I would just have 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:24.120 these lonely, lonely nights where I constantly was like, when 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.479 am I going to get back in a serious relationship 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:31.160 and find my person? Because I always knew I was 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:33.080 going to be someone that would be in relationships. I 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.560 would be a monogamous person and be committed, and um, 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.440 I was always looking for that love. Even in those 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.640 moments of just being single and silly, I still was 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:44.880 always looking for something deeper. So I was fulfilled in 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:48.480 the moment, but I wasn't fulfilled long term, so I 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:53.440 was always searching still. Um yeah, so again, I mean 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.640 it sounds fine. I just I don't not wonder what 0:14:57.720 --> 0:14:59.760 I want. Yeah, you can't gauge your happiness on other 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:04.480 people experiences or their happiness or what they say is right. 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:07.440 You know, you clearly have something good going on, and 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:08.880 I think you should be thankful for that that you 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:13.200 found it early. Thank you. Yeah. No, I I think 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:16.080 I just needed help sort of rationalizing it, or not 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:20.000 even rationalizing it, like a different perspective on it, I guess. 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:25.360 And here's the truth. You will never know. You're being 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.600 single in your twenties may have been the worst experience 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:32.080 of your life. It may have been great, it may 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.080 have been horrible. You will never know. It's not always 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.040 you know, peaches and cream. It's just not I don't 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:39.720 care what anybody says. It's like, it's like living the 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.280 Instagram life. People's Instagram is not their reality. You know. 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.800 Someone said, oh, my twenties was so amazing that I 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.760 was single and living it up, And I guarantee you 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:51.160 that moments of loneliness and boredom and sadness and um 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:53.560 feeling that they were missing out on someone who found love. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.520 So I'm like, yeah, I mean, I don't envy my 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.960 friends that are still single and trying to find someone, 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:03.440 because they all are. I'm sure most of them don't 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:04.880 want to end up single. The rest of their lives. 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.680 Do most of them? I think some of them probably 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.120 will only because they can. I don't know, it's a 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:15.760 different story. I'll call back in. Well. I hope that 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:17.040 helps a little bit. But it sounds like you have 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:18.840 a good thing going on. Don't compare to your friends. 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.280 Just live in your live your moment. This helped so much. 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.720 Thank you so much, seriously, you really help. Okay, good, 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.720 I have a good one. Oh my gosh, thank you 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:36.680 you too. Thank you so much. Laura. Hi are you yeah? 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.720 Eric Winter here? Hi? I'm good. How are you? I'm 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.080 doing great? So what do you have for me? I'm 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.640 curious what question you have? Okay, So I think this 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:51.160 is probably the most important question you're going to get today. 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.440 So I'm I'm in my mid thirties, right, Um, I 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.920 am single, and I am looking for a long term partner. 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.600 So a lot of my friends they've found some guys 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.400 who are divorced. Uh. Some of those guys have kids, 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:06.600 some of them don't. But anyways, my friends always tell 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.640 me to find a divorced man because he knows how 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:11.880 to commit, you know. So what's how what it takes 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.920 to make a marriage work? Um? And I'm not sure 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:16.760 how I feel about it, and I wanted to ask you, 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.639 do you believe in that notion that you need to 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.360 find a divorced man because of the agent, Yes, at 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:27.400 which you are and you're single. Yes, I completely disagree 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.359 that you have to find that. I think you just 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.439 got to find the right person. Um, I think you 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.119 have to find the right person. I don't care if 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.960 they were divorced or you know, if they've ever been married. 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:40.320 I mean, I think as you're meeting people, if you 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.399 if you find someone that's like, you know, he's never 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.679 been in a long term relationship before, that might be 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.840 something that you're like, Okay, that's interesting. You know. I'm 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.080 not saying I would red flag it immediately, but the 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.200 fact that they've never been able to sustain a relationship 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.640 could be something that I wouldn't waste time on. But 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.320 if they're great, you maybe you're that one. Maybe you're 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.560 that person that they're gonna build their first long term 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:04.080 relationship with. UM. But I would never gauge it just 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.600 on the fact that you're in your thirties and your 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:10.199 you need the people that are divorced and I'm I 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.960 was divorced, you know, once before I got married a 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.040 second time. I would never say that a person that 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:20.520 has been divorced knows how to commit, because they'd so 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:22.520 who's to say that they don't want to commit again? 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.000 You know, someone who has a clean slate might be 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.720 the right person that's never been married that is looking 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:32.439 to commit for the first time long term. Um, you know, 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:34.840 I just think one thing that happens is the older 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.000 you get, no matter what. And I say this in 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.600 the in the in the the most honest but polite 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.040 way to anybody, is that, yeah, the older people get 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:44.640 yourself or anybody else, the more bad I say baggage 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.520 in the nicest way, But the more things that accumulate 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:50.520 in a person's past, right, so I I feel like 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:54.480 holding them to certain standards or certain like looking for 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:56.359 that golden egg all the time and saying I'm going 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.960 to find the perfect match. The later you get in life, 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:02.240 it's harder because everybody comes with a history, and the 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:05.720 older they are, the bigger that history is. Whether um, 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.159 that might be past divorces or it might be you know, 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:10.680 meeting somebody who has kids and they're that's never considered 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.439 you know, baggage in my mind. But it's something you 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.800 have to consider. You have to take on Do I 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:16.200 want to be a step parent? Do I not want 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:18.239 to be a stepparent? You know? Those are those are 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.040 real things to consider. So the older I think you get, 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:24.280 you always have to just not lower your standards by 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:26.560 any means, but just be more accepting of what people 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:30.119 bring to the table, because it's different than in your twenties, 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.560 when it's everybody's kind of experiencing things for the first 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:35.240 time or fresh out of high school early college. Everybody's 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:37.439 just being Yeah, you're the young and dumb, you know, 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:39.800 and just having fun, and there's very little things other 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:44.160 than just figuring themselves out. Yes, this makes sense. I'm 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:45.800 so glad you said that because that's kind of how 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:47.960 I feel about it too. But they've been insisting that 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:50.280 I have to find somebody, So I'm going to tell 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:56.000 them that. Eric Winter says that just find the right person. Yeah, 0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.399 it doesn't matter. They've been and you and I truly 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.560 think how do they What makes them think that person 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:01.960 is ready to commit? If they just got out of 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.000 a marriage, they might be the farthest thing from somebody 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:09.439 that wants to commit. Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, no, 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:11.639 you you're gonna You're gonna find the right one. Just 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:14.920 keep keep your standards, you know where you want them. 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:19.919 Don't settle, but just be accepting of people and the 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:24.640 right the right match. What will happen. Don't force it. Yeah, okay, great, 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:29.640 thank you for sure. So what you got from Michelle? 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.600 My husband and I have been together like ten years 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:38.399 and we have two little kids. Um, our daughter is 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.720 nine and our son is seven, and I guess I 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:46.320 need advice on dealing with our son. Um, he's just 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:50.960 at that age where he is super defiant and which 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:52.680 I say that, and I'm like, well, all kids are, 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:57.679 but he's he's definitely into his technology. So we've been 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:02.160 kind of using that too as an incentive for good behavior. 0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:06.080 But it's just not working. Like he's said, shut up 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:08.800 to us. He's just we're just not used to this energy. 0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:11.480 I don't know if it's boy energy or what, but 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:14.240 it's you know, causing a lot of attention in our home. 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.920