1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: is how Men thick and I heard radio podcast What 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: is Up? Everybody? I am so pumped to be filling 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: in here as a as a guest on How Men Think. 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: I've been on this podcast in the past and to 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: be able to host it now this time is gonna 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: be a lot of fun. So let me tell you 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 1: a little bit about myself. You know, I'm Eric Winter. 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: You might know me from a current TV show on 10 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 1: one right now called The Rookie on ABC. I was 11 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: on something called Which Is of East End before they 12 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: had a big cult following in a movie The Ugly Truth. 13 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,160 Speaker 1: Those are just a few of the things Nilga. Truth 14 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: actually bodes very well with a podcast like How Men Think? 15 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: To be quite honest. Um. I also have a podcast 16 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: with my wife Roslyn Sanchez called he said a yadjo 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: that if you haven't checked out, you need to do so. Um. 18 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: And other than that, I'm gonna try and answer some 19 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: of your questions and uh, but before we do that, 20 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: let's go ahead and start with eleven questions. Uh for me, Okay, 21 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: what are you known for? Tell us about yourself? Well, 22 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: I guess I am known for being an actor. Um, 23 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: I once was a model many years ago. Um, but 24 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: now I guess you could say I'm known for being 25 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: an actor. Who am I in my personal life and 26 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: my personal life, I am definitely not an actor. I 27 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: am a father and I am a husband, and uh, 28 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,680 Speaker 1: those are my two greatest priorities. And I'm a son, 29 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: um so those. Uh. My family is the most important 30 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: thing to me, so I try to put that first 31 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: with everything I do. Um, let's see three shows that 32 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: I am binge watching right now. I'm watching Winning Time, 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: the Lakers, Showtime Era, uh, series that just started up 34 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: on HBO Max. I just finished binging um Yellow Jackets 35 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: on Showtime, which I loved. I was way into very 36 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: cool show. Um, let's see you Gosh before that, I 37 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: don't know one other show. I know my wife wants 38 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: me to start The Crown, but I'm way way late 39 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: on that and I get a lot of anxiety watching 40 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: five seasons of any show at this point, so that 41 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: probably won't happen. My favorite food uh, Mexican food. I 42 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: think that's usually my go to tacos. I mean I 43 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: love tacos. About my career, well, I talked about it 44 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: a little bit at the top of this, uh segment. 45 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: But you know I wanted to be a doctor. I 46 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: was a premid student at U c l A. I 47 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 1: fell into the acting world after taking a drama class 48 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: in college and which actually you know, led me down 49 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: the road of modeling and commercials and studying acting and 50 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: uh my career. I got very fortunate became an actual profession. 51 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: I should say acting is a is a tricky business. 52 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 1: It's not always a profession. It's sometimes something you're just 53 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: plugging away at a challenge. My biggest fear, I don't 54 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: really know that I have a biggest fear in my life. Um, 55 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: probably just the health and safety of my family, I guess. 56 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: Um biggest pet peeve? Wow, my biggest pet peeve is 57 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 1: probably when people complain a lot and never try to 58 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: do anything about it. That pretty much drives me crazy. Um, 59 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: something that we talked about on he said ADIHO a 60 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: lot my other podcast, because I like to fix things. 61 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: I don't like to sit and just complain. Um. What 62 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: makes me the most happy? I'm gonna go back to 63 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: the answer I said before, but my family. My family 64 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: makes me the most happy. And my ideal Saturday is 65 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: pretty much getting that family time in because when I'm 66 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: working during the week, I don't get to see the 67 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: kids as much. And also I love watching my daughter 68 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: play tennis, so a good Saturday morning tennis match is 69 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: at the top of my list. Although it stresses me 70 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: out and I go crazy while I'm watching it, I 71 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: do enjoy it and I'm definitely more Uh. To answer 72 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: a question ten here, I'm definitely more of an athlete 73 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: than an armchair quarterback. Um. I yeah, And what keeps 74 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: me motivated, I think, plain and simple is probably the 75 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: drive to be the best I can be for my kids. UM, 76 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: to try and set a good example for them moving 77 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: forward in this world. And although I fail quite often, 78 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: I try to pick myself back up and be the 79 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: example for them. So that would answer my eleven questions. Okay, well, 80 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: before we get into some listener questions, I'm gonna I'm 81 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: gonna do some Q and a UM that listeners have 82 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: wrote in about. UM. Let's see, is it hard to 83 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: surprise your wife with romantic gestures? What do you suggest 84 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: for couples who have been together for a while. Well, 85 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: you know what, it does get more challenging. I would 86 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,840 Speaker 1: say the longer you've been with somebody to surprise an 87 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: individual because they they they've figured you out in a 88 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: lot of ways, so it's it's tough to spring one 89 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: on them. Um. But I do try really hard to 90 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: always be creative and to dig deep in the vault 91 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: and try to come up with something fun. Um And 92 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: that's you know, my advice us again would be for 93 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: couples to all do the same. I mean, you've got 94 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: to try to keep it interesting. But you know, surprises 95 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: aren't always the most important part. Just the romantic gesture itself, 96 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 1: uh speaks volumes. So I think that is is what 97 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: is the most important in that situation, is just make 98 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: the effort. Um. Do I agree with the motto that 99 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 1: marriage comes first before the kids? And you know, I 100 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 1: would say yes. I would say marriage definitely is something 101 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: that you should put at the front of a family 102 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: because you're a you're setting this sort of tone in 103 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: the household. The kids are always an a priority in 104 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: the situation. But if the marriage is not intact and 105 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: you're not putting that first, then I think the kids 106 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: suffer as a result of that. So I think if 107 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: you can put the marriage first, it all will fall 108 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: back on the family in the most positive way possible. 109 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: Let's see, Um, do ros And and and I talk about 110 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: our love languages. Yes, we definitely have talked about our 111 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: love languages on our podcast quite a bit. We definitely 112 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: do not agree on the same types of love languages. 113 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: But I think, you know, I love the idea of 114 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: love languages. I think that the they they hit the 115 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: nail on the head. You know. I think if you 116 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: can understand what makes your partner tick, I think that 117 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: is the most important part in a relationship because everybody, 118 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: everybody is motivated by something different in a relationship and 119 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,239 Speaker 1: what really makes them happy. So I think it's important 120 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: to acknowledge it and figure it out. Um, let's see, 121 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: is it too forward or aggressive for a woman to 122 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: ask a guy on a date? Absolutely not. I think 123 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 1: a woman knowing what she wants and being confident and 124 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: and going after what she wants is super attractive. So 125 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: I don't think a woman should sit back. But I 126 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: also completely believe in chivalrie, and I believe that a 127 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: man should also step up and be an incredible um pursuer. 128 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 1: You know, I think pull out all the stops, make it, 129 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: make it known you are attracted to the person of interest. 130 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: And go for it. But but women don't hold back. 131 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,359 Speaker 1: Don't hold back at all. Um. Let's see, before my 132 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: new boyfriend meets my parents, should I tell him about 133 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: my family's issues? What? Well? I you know, Wow, I 134 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: guess it depends on what your family's issues are. UM. 135 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: If they are too intense, I would probably hold back, 136 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: UM at first, sort of make the intro. Let the 137 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: boyfriend experience it for himself, don't you know, because you 138 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: might put something out there that's too much and and 139 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: maybe it wasn't that bad when he meets the parents 140 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: for the first time. But if they're hardcore, yeah, if 141 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: if if your parents are impossible, then you might want 142 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: to give them heads up just to not take it 143 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: to a too serious. UM. Let's see, how soon do 144 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: you talk about past relationships with your partner? You know, 145 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: I don't really think it's good to talk about past 146 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: relationships at all, unless my partner were to bring it up. Um. 147 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: That's not something I'm big on. I never go into 148 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: a new relationship talking about my past relationships by any means. UM. 149 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: But if my partner were to ask any questions, I 150 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: would be honest. I would I would share. UM, definitely 151 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: talk about what I've learned from them, but I would 152 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: not indulge in them. I think that can be a 153 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: Oh that's a bad situation. Looking for a problem, is 154 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: what I would say. Diving into the past. Um, let's see, 155 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: do you guys plan dates anymore? If I'm a guy 156 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: and I'm interested If I if a guy I am 157 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: interested in has not planned a date but has asked 158 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: me to hang out, does this mean he is not 159 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 1: interested in me? Seriously? Look, I definitely still planned dates 160 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: from my wife. I have to put him together. But 161 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: I and I think if a guy asked someone out 162 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: but doesn't have something fully planned, it doesn't necessarily mean 163 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: he's not interested. It just it might be a flag 164 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: for you that if you look, if you like a 165 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: guy who's putting the effort in and really wanting to 166 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: show you that he's brought his a game, then that 167 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: might be something you're paying attention to. But I don't 168 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: don't know that it quite means he's not interested in you. 169 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: He's just not prepared. He's not he's not a planner, 170 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: which could be a problem for something. Uh, let's see 171 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: maybe one more we can squeeze in. Um, when kids 172 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: come into the picture, how important is it to have 173 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: date nights. I think it's extremely important. It's easier said 174 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 1: than done to figure it out. You know, Rosally and 175 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: I are always trying to figure out ways to have 176 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: date nights. And then, funny enough, every time we have 177 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,719 Speaker 1: a date night, all we do is talk about the 178 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,199 Speaker 1: kids and now things are going at home, and I 179 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: hope they're behaving and um, but I think it's important 180 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: to try to block out that special time for each 181 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: other and have a proper date night because you've got 182 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: to keep the romance in the relationship strong in order 183 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 1: to keep the marriage strong, and then in turn, like 184 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: I said before, it all snowballs down onto the kids 185 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: as a as a good example for marriage. So that'sh 186 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: I think I might have answered them all. All right, 187 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 1: Now we are going to take some live calls and 188 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do my best to answer your questions as 189 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: honestly as I can. Hey, Madison, Hi, how are you. 190 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: I'm doing great? How are you? I'm good? I'm good. 191 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for having me. For sure, I'm 192 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: excited to hear what you have to say. Well, I'm 193 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: I'm hoping you have an answer for me. Um, Okay, Well, 194 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: for for the record, I am twenty eight um, and 195 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: I this is gonna sound crazy, but I've been with 196 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: my boyfriend for seven years. Seven years. Wow. OK, I 197 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: know it's a long time, but you know, for myive years, 198 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 1: I guess. But when I when I talk to people 199 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,679 Speaker 1: that are like in their thirties and forties, they're always 200 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: surprised that I in a long term relationship like that, 201 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: And they seem to always mention that their twenties were 202 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: like create there their most wild fun times of their youth. 203 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: And I don't know, as I'm getting closer to thirty, 204 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: I'm just questioning if I sort of missed out on 205 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: fun in my twenties because I've been in this long 206 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: term relationship for seven years. So I'm just I don't know, 207 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: am I thinking too much about it? Or like, am 208 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: I thinking too much about you know, missing out? Well, 209 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: I don't think you should ever think about what you're 210 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 1: missing out on. If what you're in is truly bringing 211 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: you a lot of happiness, that's that's where I start. 212 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: I mean, if you're if you've been really happy for 213 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 1: the past seven years, and you have, I mean everybody 214 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: has ups and downs, and seven years is a solid, 215 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: solid relationship. UM, I would never gauge on what you've 216 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: missed out if if, if everything has been sitting right 217 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: in front of you has been great. You know what 218 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: I mean, every everybody sure people have what I was 219 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,319 Speaker 1: married when I first when I was twenty five, I 220 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: got married for the first time. I was divorced by 221 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 1: twenty eight. I was in a long term relationship when 222 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 1: I we started dating when I was let's see, we 223 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: started dating when I was twenty two. Uh yeah, twenty two, 224 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: I think. And uh, so you could say most of 225 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 1: my twenties were taken up by that first marriage, and 226 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: then I met my current wife when I was in 227 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: my late twenties. Now, I had wild, like high school 228 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 1: years even in my twenties, um, and I had a 229 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: couple of years of being single in between where I 230 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: had I had my you know, my kicks. I guess 231 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: you'd say or whatever, just being a being a twenty 232 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: year old. Um. But again, you know, I didn't go 233 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: through my twenties just partying all straight through. I was 234 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: in a long term relationship for most of that time. UM. 235 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: And so I again, I people that say those things, 236 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: they aren't living the reality that you were living, right, 237 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 1: So they're living a different sort of happiness, and a 238 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: lot of it is I hate to say it because 239 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: I've been but I've been through It's it's more of 240 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,680 Speaker 1: a shallow right, like if I'm party and I'm just 241 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: living up these moments, which they're great. I'm not saying 242 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,719 Speaker 1: they're not, but they're not invested in any sort of 243 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: love right, They're not. They're in the moment, and which 244 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: is also a beautiful thing for for many people at 245 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 1: that time. UM, let me ask you, I mean it's 246 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: seven years are you Are you wanting to get married? 247 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: Are you hoping to sustain a long term relationship as 248 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: a partner? Um? Is he the he? Or she the 249 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: one for you? I mean, I definitely want to get 250 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: married one day, and after seven years, I do think 251 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: that we're both ready. I mean I've of course, we've 252 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,679 Speaker 1: had ups and downs like any relationship, but I've definitely 253 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 1: been happy. I am happy. I love him. Do you 254 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: think he's the one? I do? I do? I definitely 255 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: I do. Yeah that sounds cheesy, but I do. I 256 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: really do. Then that's that's all that matters. And then 257 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: you didn't really miss out on anything because at the 258 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: end of the day you would have your twenties. Otherwise 259 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: would have been party, party, date, break up, maybe hook up, 260 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,079 Speaker 1: be unfulfilled for for a long time, maybe be happy 261 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: for a little bit. You know, it's a it's a 262 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: big when you're single in your twenties. It's just a 263 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: big roller coaster. It's up and down of highs on 264 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,559 Speaker 1: those I remember being single after my first my first divorce, 265 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: and being so like just going wild, having to blast 266 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: and dating, dating, dating, and then I would just have 267 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: these lonely, lonely nights where I constantly was like, when 268 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,479 Speaker 1: am I going to get back in a serious relationship 269 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: and find my person? Because I always knew I was 270 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: going to be someone that would be in relationships. I 271 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: would be a monogamous person and be committed, and um, 272 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: I was always looking for that love. Even in those 273 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: moments of just being single and silly, I still was 274 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: always looking for something deeper. So I was fulfilled in 275 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: the moment, but I wasn't fulfilled long term, so I 276 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: was always searching still. Um yeah, so again, I mean 277 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: it sounds fine. I just I don't not wonder what 278 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: I want. Yeah, you can't gauge your happiness on other 279 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: people experiences or their happiness or what they say is right. 280 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: You know, you clearly have something good going on, and 281 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: I think you should be thankful for that that you 282 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: found it early. Thank you. Yeah. No, I I think 283 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: I just needed help sort of rationalizing it, or not 284 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: even rationalizing it, like a different perspective on it, I guess. 285 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: And here's the truth. You will never know. You're being 286 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: single in your twenties may have been the worst experience 287 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: of your life. It may have been great, it may 288 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: have been horrible. You will never know. It's not always 289 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: you know, peaches and cream. It's just not I don't 290 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: care what anybody says. It's like, it's like living the 291 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: Instagram life. People's Instagram is not their reality. You know. 292 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: Someone said, oh, my twenties was so amazing that I 293 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: was single and living it up, And I guarantee you 294 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: that moments of loneliness and boredom and sadness and um 295 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: feeling that they were missing out on someone who found love. 296 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: So I'm like, yeah, I mean, I don't envy my 297 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: friends that are still single and trying to find someone, 298 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: because they all are. I'm sure most of them don't 299 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: want to end up single. The rest of their lives. 300 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 1: Do most of them? I think some of them probably 301 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: will only because they can. I don't know, it's a 302 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: different story. I'll call back in. Well. I hope that 303 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: helps a little bit. But it sounds like you have 304 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: a good thing going on. Don't compare to your friends. 305 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: Just live in your live your moment. This helped so much. 306 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, seriously, you really help. Okay, good, 307 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: I have a good one. Oh my gosh, thank you 308 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: you too. Thank you so much. Laura. Hi are you yeah? 309 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: Eric Winter here? Hi? I'm good. How are you? I'm 310 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: doing great? So what do you have for me? I'm 311 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: curious what question you have? Okay, So I think this 312 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: is probably the most important question you're going to get today. 313 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 1: So I'm I'm in my mid thirties, right, Um, I 314 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: am single, and I am looking for a long term partner. 315 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 1: So a lot of my friends they've found some guys 316 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,400 Speaker 1: who are divorced. Uh. Some of those guys have kids, 317 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 1: some of them don't. But anyways, my friends always tell 318 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,640 Speaker 1: me to find a divorced man because he knows how 319 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 1: to commit, you know. So what's how what it takes 320 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 1: to make a marriage work? Um? And I'm not sure 321 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: how I feel about it, and I wanted to ask you, 322 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 1: do you believe in that notion that you need to 323 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,360 Speaker 1: find a divorced man because of the agent, Yes, at 324 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:27,400 Speaker 1: which you are and you're single. Yes, I completely disagree 325 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 1: that you have to find that. I think you just 326 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 1: got to find the right person. Um, I think you 327 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: have to find the right person. I don't care if 328 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: they were divorced or you know, if they've ever been married. 329 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I think as you're meeting people, if you 330 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,399 Speaker 1: if you find someone that's like, you know, he's never 331 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 1: been in a long term relationship before, that might be 332 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: something that you're like, Okay, that's interesting. You know. I'm 333 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: not saying I would red flag it immediately, but the 334 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 1: fact that they've never been able to sustain a relationship 335 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: could be something that I wouldn't waste time on. But 336 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: if they're great, you maybe you're that one. Maybe you're 337 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: that person that they're gonna build their first long term 338 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: relationship with. UM. But I would never gauge it just 339 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: on the fact that you're in your thirties and your 340 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,199 Speaker 1: you need the people that are divorced and I'm I 341 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 1: was divorced, you know, once before I got married a 342 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: second time. I would never say that a person that 343 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: has been divorced knows how to commit, because they'd so 344 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: who's to say that they don't want to commit again? 345 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: You know, someone who has a clean slate might be 346 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: the right person that's never been married that is looking 347 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:32,439 Speaker 1: to commit for the first time long term. Um, you know, 348 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: I just think one thing that happens is the older 349 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: you get, no matter what. And I say this in 350 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: the in the in the the most honest but polite 351 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: way to anybody, is that, yeah, the older people get 352 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 1: yourself or anybody else, the more bad I say baggage 353 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 1: in the nicest way, But the more things that accumulate 354 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: in a person's past, right, so I I feel like 355 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: holding them to certain standards or certain like looking for 356 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: that golden egg all the time and saying I'm going 357 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: to find the perfect match. The later you get in life, 358 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: it's harder because everybody comes with a history, and the 359 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: older they are, the bigger that history is. Whether um, 360 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: that might be past divorces or it might be you know, 361 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: meeting somebody who has kids and they're that's never considered 362 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: you know, baggage in my mind. But it's something you 363 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: have to consider. You have to take on Do I 364 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: want to be a step parent? Do I not want 365 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,239 Speaker 1: to be a stepparent? You know? Those are those are 366 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 1: real things to consider. So the older I think you get, 367 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: you always have to just not lower your standards by 368 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 1: any means, but just be more accepting of what people 369 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 1: bring to the table, because it's different than in your twenties, 370 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 1: when it's everybody's kind of experiencing things for the first 371 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: time or fresh out of high school early college. Everybody's 372 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,439 Speaker 1: just being Yeah, you're the young and dumb, you know, 373 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: and just having fun, and there's very little things other 374 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: than just figuring themselves out. Yes, this makes sense. I'm 375 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: so glad you said that because that's kind of how 376 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: I feel about it too. But they've been insisting that 377 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: I have to find somebody, So I'm going to tell 378 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: them that. Eric Winter says that just find the right person. Yeah, 379 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. They've been and you and I truly 380 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: think how do they What makes them think that person 381 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 1: is ready to commit? If they just got out of 382 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: a marriage, they might be the farthest thing from somebody 383 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,439 Speaker 1: that wants to commit. Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, no, 384 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 1: you you're gonna You're gonna find the right one. Just 385 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,920 Speaker 1: keep keep your standards, you know where you want them. 386 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 1: Don't settle, but just be accepting of people and the 387 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 1: right the right match. What will happen. Don't force it. Yeah, okay, great, 388 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 1: thank you for sure. So what you got from Michelle? 389 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: My husband and I have been together like ten years 390 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: and we have two little kids. Um, our daughter is 391 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: nine and our son is seven, and I guess I 392 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: need advice on dealing with our son. Um, he's just 393 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: at that age where he is super defiant and which 394 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: I say that, and I'm like, well, all kids are, 395 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 1: but he's he's definitely into his technology. So we've been 396 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: kind of using that too as an incentive for good behavior. 397 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: But it's just not working. Like he's said, shut up 398 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: to us. He's just we're just not used to this energy. 399 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's boy energy or what, but 400 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 1: it's you know, causing a lot of attention in our home. 401 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,920 Speaker 1: Like we all kind of feel held hostage by his behavior. 402 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: So I'm just seeking advice, like how how we can 403 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 1: do better with him and with each other all of it. Yeah, no, 404 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 1: I hear you mean, first of all, look, congrats and 405 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,640 Speaker 1: being married ten years, having two kids, those are all 406 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: wonderful things. Um. You know, I can relate in a 407 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: lot of way. Listen, I have my my firstborn is 408 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: a is a very very strong little girl, um, and 409 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: is at that sort of pre pubescent age where you 410 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: know she's fighting back. Everything's a no, everything's talking back. Um. 411 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 1: She hasn't said shut up that I would lose my 412 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: mind if she said that to me. But she's getting 413 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: to the point where she is she's testing the boundaries, right, 414 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 1: She's pushing, pushing, pushing, So I can fully relate. I 415 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: think you said he's seven old. Yeah, so I mean 416 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: it's gonna I would Listen, I'm not want to ever 417 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: tell anyone how to parent because I feel like every 418 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: kid is so different and I and I definitely don't 419 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: have it mastered myself by any means. Um. But people 420 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,440 Speaker 1: have said to me before, like, if that behavior doesn't 421 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,440 Speaker 1: get sort of nipped in the bud early enough, it's 422 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 1: just going to continue to get worse and worse and worse, 423 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: and then you get into the teen years and it's 424 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: gonna be out of control, which I'm already afraid of 425 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 1: for my daughter. Um, as well. But I think using 426 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: you know, finding the things that are the most important 427 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 1: to him, which we've been trying to do with My 428 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: daughter too, is super super strong, right I I take 429 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: away the television, I take away technology, I take away 430 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: the things that she really loves. I remember when my 431 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 1: daughter was and I'll tell you a funny story, when 432 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: she was maybe seven, maybe a little even younger than seven, 433 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: and she's so strong, and she'd be in trouble and say, 434 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 1: that's it, we're taking away your toys and she's like crying. 435 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 1: She's like, fine, let me help you pack them up 436 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 1: as she's crying. So she didn't really care that I 437 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: was taking him away, but she was upset that I 438 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,919 Speaker 1: was mad at her, but she was still helping me 439 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: get rid of the toys. So it was it was 440 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: again showing her defiance, right. Um, with him, have you 441 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 1: noticed that he gets a react? You get a reaction 442 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: out of him? Um, when you take away technology? Does 443 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: he actually listen for that moment? Times? But I kind 444 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 1: of feel like you said that, it was kind of 445 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 1: a light bulb where I feel like he's reacting more 446 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: to us, like losing our minds, like being at our limit. Yeah, 447 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: he wants to get the rise out of you. We 448 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: don't really do it. Until you just said that, I 449 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: was like, oh man, he actually knows the expectation. Maybe 450 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 1: we just kind of react. I don't know. I mean, 451 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,200 Speaker 1: he doesn't. He definitely feels the pain. But I feel like, 452 00:23:54,800 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 1: is that he finally react notary the technology because he 453 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: knows he's going to go. He knows he's gonna what. 454 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: He knows he's going to get it back eventually. So 455 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,480 Speaker 1: but maybe he won't. Maybe he won't get it better. 456 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: That's gotta be That's gotta be your line, right, if 457 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 1: that's the one strength that you know you have in 458 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 1: a situation. Look, you know, I grew up. I grew 459 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: up at a time where I just got spanked and 460 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: I got smacked and I was like, hey, you don't 461 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: do this, and I got a spanking and I never 462 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 1: talked back. Now, I know times you're different now, right, 463 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: But there mean, and that's why I like that shut 464 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: up is so upsetting because it's like where do we 465 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: go from here? Because we don't smack our kids and 466 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 1: we won't smack our kids and that kind of like 467 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,679 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Like what now he's like going out 468 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 1: to the world and being this horrible person. Exactly. No, 469 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: And I'm sure outside of the house he probably acts 470 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: much better than he does at home. At least that's 471 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 1: the case with a lot of my daughter and kids. 472 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: And I was told once by somebody, then you know 473 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: you're doing the right thing because at least your child 474 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,640 Speaker 1: is respectful to adults outside of the home. Their job 475 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: is to challenge you, their job is to push you. 476 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: And um and and like you you know, I we 477 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: have never spanked our kids. I have not gone down 478 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: that path, even though that's how I was sort of 479 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,400 Speaker 1: brought up. And I think a child having that sort 480 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,959 Speaker 1: of hint of fear I would call it, or respect 481 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: more importantly, for their parents is the most important factor. 482 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,399 Speaker 1: Like you know, we're not here to be their best friends, 483 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,479 Speaker 1: even though we want to be. They need to respect 484 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: us first, and we're here to teach them and be 485 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: their parents. If technology is the one thing I think 486 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 1: that you know you're going to have a handle on 487 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,680 Speaker 1: over him that I think, don't engage in the fights 488 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,920 Speaker 1: anymore or the arguments. I think take away that take 489 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: away his vice. Take away whatever it is is TV 490 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 1: is the technology, whatever the case may be. His sister 491 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: is obviously gonna still get what she gets, and he's 492 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: going to have to live without that for a long 493 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: period of time. And until you see the behavior turn, 494 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 1: let him know he is never getting it back. I 495 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: remember when I first started driving, I got a ticket 496 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. Right, key's got taken away. Didn't 497 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,879 Speaker 1: get the ticket, he didn't get the keys back for 498 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 1: a long time. I learned my lesson. So take it away. 499 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: He he might think he's getting a back. Nope, it's 500 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: gonna go locked away, put in a cupboard, whatever. It 501 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 1: might be a month before he sees it again, unless 502 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: he needs it for school. Then he uses it for 503 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 1: those things, but he's not getting it for anything else. 504 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: As long as it takes until it sets in that 505 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: you that you two are in control, not him. That's 506 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: the biggest factor, right He he thinks that he's in control, 507 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 1: and he's pushing that pecking order against your husband, against you. 508 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 1: He's trying to make sure he's the alpha, and he's 509 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: got to understand that you're not the alpha. We're the 510 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 1: alpha's and we're on the same page. And whatever you say, 511 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: your husband has to agree with. Whatever he says. You 512 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:43,639 Speaker 1: have to agree with. And you guys have to be 513 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: a united front in front of him so that he 514 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: never sees that he can play you against each other 515 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: and whatever it is, take it away and he does 516 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 1: not get it, and just keep taking things away. If 517 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: I remember I got grounded as a kid, I didn't 518 00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: see my friends for two weeks. I couldn't play with 519 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 1: the name my myst friend who was my neighbor. You know, 520 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,719 Speaker 1: I couldn't come out. I'd be in my room. Go 521 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: back to old school where you just make them write 522 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 1: down on a piece of paper a hundred times. I 523 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 1: will not say shut up to my parents again a 524 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 1: hundred times. Make him write those sentences. Just do things 525 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: like that. And if he says no, I'm not going 526 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: to do that, and say, well okay, then I guess 527 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: you are never getting your PlayStation or you're never getting 528 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: your computer back. I guess you just won't get it. 529 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: That's it. I mean, you have to find what your 530 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,320 Speaker 1: leverage is. Just have to hold the line. I got. 531 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,239 Speaker 1: You have to hold the line. You have to he 532 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: has to understand that you two are in control no 533 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: matter what. I really appreciate you taking the time and 534 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: the validation, just being able to talk to another parent 535 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 1: about it is so helpful too. I'm happy to try 536 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: to help however I could. I it's not easy. Being 537 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 1: a parent is the most rewarding, the most challenging thing 538 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 1: in the world. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Well, thank 539 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: you so much, no problem, all the best you guys. 540 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 1: I hope it works out. Thank you. I appreciate it. Okay, 541 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: take care. Bye. Hi, this is a how are you 542 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: and how are you doing good? Thanks for having me on. 543 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,680 Speaker 1: Thank you for being here. I can't wait to hear 544 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 1: what you what you have to ask? Yeah, okay. So 545 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: I was seeing this guy a few years ago and 546 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,720 Speaker 1: we ended things because he didn't want to commit like 547 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 1: so many other men. Um and we've now reconnected actually 548 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 1: um lo and behold on Instagram. Uh. We went out 549 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: and we had a great time, and he's fully pursuing 550 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 1: me again, saying that he wants a relationship with me, 551 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 1: and you know, he thinks that it can be different 552 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: this time. And we were so good last time, and 553 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: now look how great it is now, all of that stuff. 554 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: But you know, I'm a little bit hesitant because of 555 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: what had ended up happening before. Like I wanted to 556 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 1: take it Further, I wanted long term commitment and he 557 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: just couldn't. So I'm torn because you know, I think 558 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: timing is everything, and maybe it just wasn't the right 559 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 1: timing a couple of years ago, and now the timing 560 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: is right. But at the same time, I'm cautious. So 561 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: I'm wondering, you know, do you believe in second chances? 562 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: I think in a situation like this, and I don't know, 563 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 1: you guys didn't break up for any other reason other 564 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: than he was honest about I'm not ready to fully 565 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: like commit long term. Right. There was no cheating, There 566 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: was no other like major issue, right. It was just that, Yeah, 567 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: that's right, that's right. No, No, not no other issues. 568 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: It was just, you know, I had to be serious 569 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: with myself and I had to be truthful and know 570 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: what I wanted and he didn't want that serious. And 571 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,479 Speaker 1: how long ago was that? It was about three years ago? Okay, 572 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 1: I mean this is what I would I would say, 573 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: and I don't obviously I don't know him, um, and 574 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: you're going to have to trust your judge of character, 575 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: but I think anybody's I first of all, I respect 576 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: his honesty three years ago to be able to tell 577 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: you I'm not I'm not at the same place you are, 578 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: and I'm not ready to commit. You have to respect that, 579 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: because it would have been way worse had he faked it, 580 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: went down the path of, like, you know, trying to 581 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: force a long term serious relationship having cheated or having 582 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 1: just broken your heart even later down the road, because 583 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 1: you were all in and he wasn't all in, whatever 584 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: the case may be, right, So you gotta respect his 585 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: honesty upfront. And I think you, assuming he's a good guy, 586 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: and I trust that you're a good judge of character, 587 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: you have to I think give him the benefit of 588 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: the doubt that for three years is a good period 589 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 1: of growth for somebody to realize maybe the grass wasn't greener. 590 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: I you know, I did whatever I needed to do. 591 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: This is someone I really did enjoy and I let 592 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: it go. And you've been cool enough now to give 593 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: him a second chance. I totally think cautious is a 594 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 1: good word in a good place for you to be 595 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: at in the start of it. But I think if 596 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: he's proving himself to you as being sort of a 597 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: different person now, someone who's ready to commit and take 598 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: those next steps, I don't see anything wrong with giving 599 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: him that opportunity because he he did right by you before. 600 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: He was honest. He was honest, and there are a 601 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: lot of people that wouldn't be No, it would be 602 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 1: so much easier to string you along or just to 603 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 1: fool around and then fool around on the side or 604 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 1: what you know, it's to be honest is really tough 605 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: in a situation like that, because he he doesn't want 606 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: to hurt your feelings, but he respected you enough to 607 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: tell you the truth. And you know you clearly had 608 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: something good because why would you have even given him 609 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: an opportunity to get back into your life via via Instagram? 610 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 1: So clearly you enjoyed your time with him and he 611 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: sounds like he's a good guy, or you have fun 612 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 1: with him at least, so you've let him back in. 613 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,840 Speaker 1: You gotta if you don't have to do anything. But 614 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: if you've let him back in and you're having fun 615 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,360 Speaker 1: and you think there could be something cool again, you 616 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 1: know to to dig deeper on why why hold him 617 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: accountable for something he did right by you in the past. 618 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: He didn't do anything wrong. He just said he wasn't ready. 619 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: That's true, So I I I'll go for it. Yeah. Yeah, 620 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 1: And but cautious is good. How long have you been 621 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,080 Speaker 1: dating now for the second time around? Oh recent, It's 622 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: only been a little bit, yea, So so cautious is good. 623 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 1: Be cautious, you know what I mean. Give him, give 624 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: him the benefit of the doubt. Obviously, your guard is up. 625 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: That's understandable. There's nothing wrong with you having that position. 626 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,040 Speaker 1: I think, I think, have your guard up, but don't 627 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: make it a brick wall, you know, make it a 628 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: wooden wall that you can slowly take down a little 629 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: easier if you want to. You know, I just I 630 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 1: don't think he uh, he should be punished for being 631 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 1: honest three years ago. That is a very valid point. 632 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: I appreciate your insight that that is helpful. I And 633 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: you're right, you know, I need to give him that credit. 634 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 1: And that is very I needed to look at it 635 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: that way. So I appreciate that. And here's the cool thing. 636 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 1: You're You're in the driver's seat now. Yeah, he's pursuing you. 637 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: He's told you he wants to you know, he wants 638 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 1: something more. He's telling you. I wasn't ready before, but 639 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: now I am. The great part about all this is 640 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 1: you're in the driver's seat, So you get to dictate 641 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,560 Speaker 1: the terms. You get to pace it, you get to 642 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: decide when is too much, too fast? How you get 643 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: to control it all. If he's in it for the 644 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: long haul, you know, make him work a little bit, 645 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 1: he'll prove himself. I love it. Well, thank you, thank 646 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 1: you so much. I really appreciate it for sure. Glad 647 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: I could hop all right by Hi, Eric, Hello, how 648 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: are you? Thanks to you. I'm doing good. I'm doing 649 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: all right. What fun? What fun question do you have 650 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 1: for me? Okay? So I am a Mexican American UM 651 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 1: and my boyfriend he's Asian American, and um, well, I'm 652 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,399 Speaker 1: nervous because I already told them about him. It's kind 653 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 1: of like the one of the first boyfriends that I 654 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: talked about. But your family you're talking about. You've told 655 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: your family, yeah, and it's going pretty well. But my 656 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: family's kind of very traditional and about our culture, you know, 657 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:33,080 Speaker 1: and so they always wanted me to date like another Latino. UM. 658 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 1: So I want some advice on like a cross cultural 659 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,400 Speaker 1: you know, like relationships. How to handle it with my 660 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,560 Speaker 1: parents when they have like different expectations about who should 661 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 1: I date in regards of who. This is a tough 662 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:56,359 Speaker 1: one only because I don't obviously know how set your 663 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,239 Speaker 1: parents are in their ways. Um all you know, I 664 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: would say I call it old school parenting right where 665 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: the parents have this expectation of what their what their child, 666 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: who their child needs to date, how it needs to be. 667 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 1: Staying within the same race or culture, UM is tough. 668 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: I'm I'm assuming that your parents want what is best 669 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,560 Speaker 1: for you. They want you to be happy first and foremost, 670 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 1: above and beyond cultural differences. So if if I'm right 671 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 1: in saying that, then I think expressing the happiness that 672 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,359 Speaker 1: this other person brings you is would be the first 673 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: step in what I would approach how I approach my 674 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: my family right that that's more important than anything else. 675 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,279 Speaker 1: And then the only other thing that matters the most 676 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 1: of me. And obviously I'm in a you know, my 677 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,759 Speaker 1: cultural relationship right my um my wife is Puerto Rican. 678 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: I'm I'm a white guy, but I did grow up 679 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: in La Planta. I grew up in a very Mexican 680 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,799 Speaker 1: neighborhood where I dated a lot of Latina's. My whole 681 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 1: most my whole life, I did Latina. Um one thing 682 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: I always had and hopefully the you're dating has this 683 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 1: you know in him, and you do for him his 684 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,280 Speaker 1: culture as well. As I love um my wife's culture, 685 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 1: I embraced her culture. I wanted to know more about it. 686 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:11,880 Speaker 1: You know, when I first went to Puerto Rico, I 687 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,360 Speaker 1: was the one that wanted to go sight see and 688 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,040 Speaker 1: learn about the island and learn about her culture. So 689 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 1: if he has that for your culture and you have 690 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: that for his culture, that I think that's another amazing 691 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,759 Speaker 1: point to bring up to your family that not only 692 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,320 Speaker 1: does he make you happy, but he loves your Mexican American, 693 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 1: you know, heritage. He wants to know more about it, 694 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: he wants to embrace it. He wants um to be 695 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 1: a part of your family in that way. And if 696 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,680 Speaker 1: he if you also have that for his family, because 697 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,120 Speaker 1: he may have traditional parents as well, then that's a 698 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 1: lion you have to navigate to. I think you both 699 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 1: have to embrace each other's um cultural differences and and 700 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 1: shine a light on them in the most positive way. 701 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,680 Speaker 1: And if you can do that, then I think, then 702 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,920 Speaker 1: what's the Then that to me, there's no big deal, 703 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,640 Speaker 1: there's no problem. The only time I'd ever have an 704 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 1: issue if my daughter being half Puerto Rican and you know, 705 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,239 Speaker 1: was to date a guy that was let's say, just 706 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,799 Speaker 1: a you know, a whit, a white guy, and he 707 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 1: never wanted to embrace her Puerto Rican heritage. Um, I'd 708 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,120 Speaker 1: have a huge problem with that. If he didn't just 709 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 1: accept it or embrace it or want to um celebrate it, 710 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: then I'd have a problem. But if that's not the 711 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,960 Speaker 1: guy you have, and he's interested in you and who 712 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,760 Speaker 1: you are and where you come from, then I think 713 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:30,399 Speaker 1: you should use that with your family, you know, because 714 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,799 Speaker 1: that celebrates that, that celebrates your heritage. So at the 715 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,840 Speaker 1: same time, yes, you didn't, you didn't end up with 716 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,919 Speaker 1: a Mexican American, but you ended up with somebody who 717 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: appreciate your culture, um, your heritage and also makes you happy, 718 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 1: which I'm like I said, I'm hoping is what matters 719 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,360 Speaker 1: the most in your family is they want you to 720 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 1: be happy. Yeah. I think so, because it'd be worse 721 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,360 Speaker 1: if you were dating a guy that was Mexican American 722 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 1: but you were unhappy. That would be way worse in 723 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,879 Speaker 1: my opinion. Yeah, totally. No, he's a very nice guy, 724 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: and yeah, he totally wants to know more so that 725 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 1: that That's how I feel like I had approached my 726 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 1: family in that situation and try to warm them up 727 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: to it, and then, uh, you know, he'll have some 728 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:09,960 Speaker 1: pressure on him when he goes to meet them for 729 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,800 Speaker 1: the first time, and or maybe he's already has he 730 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 1: met them. Uh no, he just threw a FaceTime my mom. Okay, okay, 731 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:24,400 Speaker 1: I mean you and your mom was cool. He was nice. Yeah, 732 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 1: So then they're then they're already warming up to the fact. 733 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: If they were just like, no, we don't care, he's 734 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,759 Speaker 1: not Mexican American, then I'd see you have a much 735 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,399 Speaker 1: bigger battle ahead of you. But he's just gotta win 736 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: over mom. He hasn't put in a little extra work, 737 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 1: which is okay, yeah, okay, okay, okay, thank you so much. Sure, 738 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,239 Speaker 1: I hope that helps a little bit. Okay, take care, 739 00:38:49,600 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: bye bye. All right, Well, thank you to all of 740 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,239 Speaker 1: the callers and everybody who wrote in. This was a 741 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: lot of fun um hosting how men think. I hope 742 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,840 Speaker 1: I helped answer some difficult questions and uh you know, 743 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:15,320 Speaker 1: I even learned a little something. Listening to everyone's questions 744 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 1: for me made me think deep. So thank you for 745 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 1: having me, and uh, please check out the rookie on 746 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:25,880 Speaker 1: ABC and make sure you are listening to our podcast, 747 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,320 Speaker 1: he said, a yado. We talk a lot about relationships, 748 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,399 Speaker 1: all right, take care everybody. This is how men think. 749 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:37,000 Speaker 1: An I Heart Radio London audio production. Listen each Thursday 750 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,280 Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever 751 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.