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Speaker 1: All from Shabo.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Yeah, it was this wild Yeah, who is this Sabo?

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Speaker 2: What kind of name is Sabo?

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Speaker 3: Is that?

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Speaker 2: I assume that's not your real name?

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Speaker 4: No time, or it's my explorer name?

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Speaker 2: What what? What do you explore?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 4: You know, like the sewers and old caves and abandoned buildings,

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Speaker 4: that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: How long have you been exploring sores for? Uh?

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Speaker 4: Probably like a couple of years now. Yeah. I just

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Speaker 4: I got into it because one day I showed up

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Speaker 4: to work. I used to work at a tropical fish store,

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Speaker 4: and uh, it was really slow day and my coworkers

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Speaker 4: showed up high it was just like chill with it

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Speaker 4: is whatever.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 4: And then at the very end of the shift, he

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Speaker 4: just asked me if I wanted to go check out

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Speaker 4: a I got a cave in a sewer and I

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Speaker 4: had nothing better to do, so.

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Speaker 2: I went, how long had you known this guy before

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Speaker 2: he asked you if you wanted to check out a

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Speaker 2: cave and a sewer with him?

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Speaker 4: I want to say, only like four months.

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Speaker 2: That's a good enough amount of time to know somebody

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Speaker 2: before you go into a cave with them. Tell me

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Speaker 2: about cave guy, cave guy.

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Speaker 4: Well, there are multiple cave guys. There are a lot

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Speaker 4: of cave guys, but you want to know about the

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Speaker 4: cave guy.

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Speaker 2: I want to know. When I say cave guy, I

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Speaker 2: mean the guy who took you to a cave.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, so he I don't know, he was just

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Speaker 4: another I mean he was my age and I guess

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Speaker 4: he'd been doing it since he was like young, like thirteen,

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Speaker 4: which seems kind of like where was his parents? But

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Speaker 4: you know, hey, man, he he can do him.

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Speaker 1: No, he was cool.

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Speaker 4: We just worked at a dingy tropical fish store together

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Speaker 4: and like occasionally we would like smoke weed before and

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Speaker 4: after work, and uh, yeah, I don't know who's chill.

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Speaker 4: I loved dude. He was a great guy. He moved

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Speaker 4: out to Florida.

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Speaker 2: But that really does have to be one of the

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Speaker 2: best jobs ever.

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Speaker 4: Just pretty good, honestly.

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Speaker 2: Getting high in a store that nobody goes into ever,

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Speaker 2: that's almost certainly a front for something else. And then

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Speaker 2: afterwards and then you meet every little guys who take

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Speaker 2: you into caves. That's so that's a sick job. That's

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Speaker 2: a sick job.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, someone's knocking out my door. No, it was a

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Speaker 4: fucking awesome job, Like I mean, I love fish tanks.

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Speaker 4: I'm surrounded by pretty fish. You know, it's like dimly lit.

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Speaker 4: All the tanks are like super old. It did look

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Speaker 4: like a front, like it had the building had no windows.

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Speaker 4: Everybody I talked to thought it was a front.

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Speaker 1: I even had people.

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Speaker 4: Come in like and ask me if I sold drugs,

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Speaker 4: like late at night because they thought it was a

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Speaker 4: front for like fucking trust. Ugly, it was fucking stupid.

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Speaker 2: How many times per shift would a customer come in?

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Speaker 4: Oh, I mean like during the weekdays, like only like

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Speaker 4: four or five. Honestly, on the weekends it could get

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Speaker 4: pretty busy. I mean there's a lot of people who

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Speaker 4: got who got fish they got to take care of.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: But during the weekdays it was pretty dead.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 2: I really think about this stuff all the time, Like,

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Speaker 2: you know, what, can I ask what city this fish

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Speaker 2: store is in?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Minneapolis, Okay, I mean because I always wonder, like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: there's certain like to keep a business open costs a

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Speaker 5: lot of money every month, right, and it's like there's

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Speaker 5: a certain amount of.

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Speaker 2: A tropical fish that you need to sell to like

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Speaker 2: break even, and then you got to sell like double

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Speaker 2: that to actually make any money, So how the fuck

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Speaker 2: does this fish store afford to stay open?

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Speaker 4: By the owner is a total cheap skate. He like

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Speaker 4: he paid me like less than in a wage, and

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Speaker 4: then he also like genuinely talked about me to me

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Speaker 4: about how like he didn't believe minimum wage should be

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Speaker 4: a thing. He was like, it's like I should be

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Speaker 4: able to negotiate, you know, by wages with my prospective employees,

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Speaker 4: you know, as you know, as.

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Speaker 2: He was paying me, Like listen, what's your name again, Sabo? Sabo?

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Speaker 2: I'm look, I'm all for workers a minimum wage, okay,

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Speaker 2: but it's it sounds like you got paid about as

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Speaker 2: much as you should to get high and look at

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Speaker 2: fish all day.

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Speaker 4: I didn't just get high like a fish all day, dude.

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Speaker 4: I was like cleaning the tanks and stuff like that,

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Speaker 4: just like I mean, and like on busy days, like

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Speaker 4: I was selling like thousands of dollars worth of like

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Speaker 4: fish tanks and stuff like that. So I thought, I was, well,

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Speaker 4: I mean, it depends on the fish.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: There are some fish that are only like two dollars apiece,

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Speaker 4: but then there were several fish that were like three

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Speaker 4: or four hundred dollars you know, it really depended on

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Speaker 4: the kind of fish.

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Speaker 2: Do you still work at this place?

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Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: Still, but but your love for exploring abandoned stuff carried over.

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Speaker 4: Hm, yes, and yeah it was actually really funny. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 4: I still explore bandanciers. And it was really funny because like,

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Speaker 4: so I I don't work there anymore. I have a

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Speaker 4: different job. And then at my next job, there was

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Speaker 4: another guy who was like even more into exploring than

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Speaker 4: the first guy who had showed me a bunch of

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Speaker 4: more stuff, and like, dude, he took me like like

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Speaker 4: underground festivals, right, Like there's like a whole week long

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Speaker 4: thing in Minneapolis where like people come from all over

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Speaker 4: the country just to explore our our tunnels and stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's pretty crazy.

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Speaker 2: Ah, that is pretty cool. What's what's the festival called.

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Speaker 4: It's called Mauser Week.

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Speaker 2: Mauser Week. Tell me about Mauser Week.

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Speaker 4: Uh yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's it's pretty simple, honestly. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: It's just a bunch of people from all around the country,

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Speaker 4: even in the world, who just enjoy like urban exploring,

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Speaker 4: and so they come to come to Minneapolis for a week,

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Speaker 4: and uh, we just have to throw big like cave

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Speaker 4: parties and stuff like that and explore together and just

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Speaker 4: have a good time in general.

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Speaker 2: Anything crazy. You ever go down at these cave parties?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, dude. Last year there was a prohibition esquitarian

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Speaker 4: themed party and like an old bootlegging cave and uh,

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Speaker 4: there was like a projector with a silent movie. There

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Speaker 4: was like a whole ass horse skeleton. There was like

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Speaker 4: an art gallery. There was a barter blackjack. There was

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Speaker 4: a full cocktail bar. Like people like tapped into the

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Speaker 4: street lamps nearby and like ran power into the cave,

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Speaker 4: so it was fully lit up and we even had internet.

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Speaker 4: And then like there was performances. There was like fire

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Speaker 4: dancers and like music, and then there was a sewer

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Speaker 4: back where there was like the pure surface dwellers versus

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Speaker 4: like the dirty sewer people, and they like got into

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Speaker 4: a battle, but then by the end they like became

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Speaker 4: friends and were dancing in a circle. And then there

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Speaker 4: was like an offering to the sewer goddess where people

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Speaker 4: just you know left gifts in order to have good

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Speaker 4: luck and not get lost in the tunnels. It was

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Speaker 4: it was pretty wild.

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Speaker 1: It was a good time.

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Speaker 2: Does it smell?

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Speaker 4: And the sewers. It definitely can. Sometimes it's it's really nasty. Honestly, Thankfully,

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Speaker 4: I'm like partially nose blind, so I don't mind it

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Speaker 4: as much, but it's it's it's really gross. Like I

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Speaker 4: don't I don't really uh enjoy being in the sewers

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Speaker 4: that much, but I go into the sewers because they're

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Speaker 4: connected to other.

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Speaker 2: Things, because the hottest parties in Minneapolis are going on

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Speaker 2: down there.

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Speaker 4: Yes, there's like huge raves that happened down there and

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Speaker 4: stuff like that. It's it's pretty wild.

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Speaker 2: That's cool, man, that's cool. How often do you go

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Speaker 2: into the sewer raves?

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Speaker 4: I don't go to the sewer raves that often because

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Speaker 4: I'm I mean, I'm not a huge party person. A

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Speaker 4: lot of the time. I'll go for like a special occasions,

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Speaker 4: but they happen pretty often. Like there's probably one going

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Speaker 4: down during certain terms of the year. Is probably one

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Speaker 4: going down like every weekend.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I absolutely need to do one of my Gecko

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Speaker 2: interview things at the sewer party. People are gonna think

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Speaker 2: I'm cosplaying as a Ninja turtle.

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Speaker 4: You should, dude, Honestly, like, if you ever came to

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Speaker 4: the Twin cities. I could probably like set it up

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Speaker 4: where we get internet into a cave and we could

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Speaker 4: generally you could have a show in a cave.

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Speaker 2: All right, I'm in want. I think I'm going to

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Speaker 2: Minneapolis on my tour next year, so I'm in. I'm

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Speaker 2: in the store party, yeah, I think. So I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to well, what happened last year was I went to Indianapolis,

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Speaker 2: and I thought that that was I thought the Indianapolis

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Speaker 2: and Minneapolis were the same thing because you know they

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Speaker 2: both have Panapolis in it.

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Speaker 4: You're kindoy for that.

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Speaker 2: What uh, what do you do now that you're not working,

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Speaker 2: that you're not getting high and looking at fish.

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Speaker 4: I'm a locksmith, which is kind of ironic because sometimes

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Speaker 4: I go to explore things I have to like trespass,

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Speaker 4: you know, but pick it's not people's homes.

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Speaker 2: So as a locksmith, do you like, can you theoretically

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Speaker 2: break into anybody's house?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm not like, I'm not that it's funny.

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Speaker 4: I'm not actually that good at like lock picking, Like

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Speaker 4: it's a really small part of my is like lock manipulation,

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Speaker 4: but like I know the weak points in the lock

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Speaker 4: and could get in within, like probably a minute or less.

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Speaker 1: M hmm.

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Speaker 2: Do you foresee a universe where you ever use this

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Speaker 2: skill for evil, like to steal chickens from a coop

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Speaker 2: or something.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like if it was like life

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Speaker 4: or death, I probably would, but I don't know. I

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Speaker 4: I try to. I try to be a good boy.

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Speaker 2: You know, where have you broken into?

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Speaker 4: But I mean, like I wouldn't say I like broken in,

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Speaker 4: but like I've you know, to get into the sewers,

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Speaker 4: you have to like pop a manhole in the middle

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Speaker 4: of the street.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: I've also been inside of like abandoned mills and stuff

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Speaker 4: like that. And there's, like I've sometimes you have to

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Speaker 4: go through like rail yards and stuff like that to

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Speaker 4: get into some of these spots. You know, there's bulls

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Speaker 4: after you. I don't know if you know what bulls

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Speaker 4: are and rail lingo, but yeah, no, just a sometimes

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Speaker 4: you gotta sneak around people to get to the cool spots.

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Speaker 2: What are bulls?

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Speaker 4: They're just like the security guards of like rail yards.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: I think the reason they're called bulls is because Hobo's

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Speaker 4: always had to run from them back in the day,

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Speaker 4: you know, when.

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Speaker 2: They're trying to Now rail lingo. Let me hear some

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Speaker 2: more rail lingo.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 4: I'm not as deep into the the train hopping community

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Speaker 4: as I would like to be, so I don't know

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Speaker 4: more rail lingo.

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Speaker 2: I guess what's your like, Uh, what's your name again? Sabo?

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Speaker 2: You can call Sabo? What's your prerogative? Sabo? What? What

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Speaker 2: do you What do you dream of at night? What's

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Speaker 2: the future look like for Sabo? You can go anywhere

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Speaker 2: you can, and there's literally there is literally no place

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Speaker 2: off limits to you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I don't know. I have Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: have places i'd like to go. I mean there's a

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Speaker 4: there I've heard from like friends about like tunnels in

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Speaker 4: other cities, Like there's some really crazy tunnels in Chicago

240
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Speaker 4: and stuff like that that'd be cool to check out.

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Speaker 4: I'd also really like to it'd be really really really

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Speaker 4: sick to break into like the but like Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, Ukraine,

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Speaker 4: that would be sick. But obviously there's a war going

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Speaker 4: on in there right now. It's like I can't even

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Speaker 4: get close to that. But I mean, like, are you

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Speaker 4: asking like as far as like just dreams in general,

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Speaker 4: Like what do I want to do with my life?

248
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Speaker 4: Kind of do just go. I don't know, I kinda honestly,

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Speaker 4: I hope my life ends up like kind of like simple,

250
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Speaker 4: Like I'd really like to just like make enough to

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Speaker 4: be comfortable, have a significant other, you know, like have

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Speaker 4: a nice house with a with a big garden and

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Speaker 4: a you know, a deciduous lawn, and just like go

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Speaker 4: to work and not be stressed out. I don't not

255
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Speaker 4: I don't really have like big aspirations. I just kind

256
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Speaker 4: of want to like comfy.

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Speaker 2: You know. Well, it's good that you have an inexpensive

258
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Speaker 2: hobby because some people's hobby, as you know, is buying

259
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Speaker 2: exotic fish.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean I still do that sometimes too, but not

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Speaker 4: as much as I used to.

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Speaker 2: No, I have a question for you before we go.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any safety concerns at all for for

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Speaker 2: urban exploration? Because you know, I, by the way, I myself,

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Speaker 2: I don't do it that much anymore. But I used to,

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Speaker 2: like when I was a kid, I'd be really into, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, exploring abandoned buildings and basements and all that

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Speaker 2: kind of shit. But I know that that, uh, like

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Speaker 2: you can you can get a little fucked up, whether

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00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,840
Speaker 2: it's like asbestos is running around, or like a tile

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00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,760
Speaker 2: breaks off and you fall down three stories or you

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Speaker 2: know you ever run into anything like that.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, I actually I almost I almost killed

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Speaker 4: my best friend while we were exploring once because there's

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Speaker 4: this one storm drain that we like to go into

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Speaker 4: and in order to get in, you have to go

278
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Speaker 4: to the spot that's called Confuser. And the reason it's

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Speaker 4: called Confusers is because there's like seven man holes in

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Speaker 4: close proximity and only one of them has a ladder,

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Speaker 4: but it's like a really visible spot, so you have

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Speaker 4: to like open the right one and getting quick otherwise

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Speaker 4: it get caught. As we went there and I opened

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Speaker 4: the wrong one, and so my friend like started getting

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Speaker 4: down in you know, was hanging onto the edge with

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Speaker 4: his like arms, and he was like I can't feel

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Speaker 4: the ladder. I cant feel ladder. And I was like, shoot,

288
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 4: we gotta like turn on the light and just like

289
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 4: figure this out. And you know, there was just like

290
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,080
Speaker 4: a twelve story drop beneath him, so we had to

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Speaker 4: like pull him out. That wasn't fun. I really I

292
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 4: felt really bad for that. So you gotta worry about

293
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 4: stuff like that, you know. And I've also gotten like

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Speaker 4: really sick from the sewers. I was better written for

295
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,720
Speaker 4: three days because I like basically got dysentery, so that

296
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Speaker 4: kind of sucked. Yeah, and there's this sebaestos and you

297
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 4: know there's hs gas and the sewers which can kill you.

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Speaker 4: And you know if you get cuts and they get

299
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Speaker 4: in effected, that's not good either. So yeah, it's it's

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Speaker 4: really dangerous. But uh, I don't know, I kind of

301
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Speaker 4: like the danger. Maybe I'm a little bit of an

302
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,080
Speaker 4: adrenaline junkie in that way.

303
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Speaker 2: You're like a ninja Turtle.

304
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, running around series Turtle power.

305
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. Man, it sounds like you were playing like manhole

306
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 2: Russian Roulette pretty much.

307
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's exactly what it was. And I'm really lucky

308
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 4: I didn't kill my best friend. I would have done.

309
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 4: That would have ruined my life. I think if that

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Speaker 4: had happened.

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Speaker 2: Well, Sabo, thanks for talking to me about Thanks for

312
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,159
Speaker 2: you know, you know what is cool about this conversation

313
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Speaker 2: is God doesn't I don't know if the folks at

314
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 2: home can't empathize with this, but God doesn't life feel

315
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 2: boring sometimes? You know, don't you feel don't you do

316
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 2: you ever feel like you already know all the stuff

317
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,679
Speaker 2: that exists out in the universe for you to do,

318
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,640
Speaker 2: and you're just bored. I'm glad I got to talk

319
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 2: to you because any any day where I gain knowledge

320
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,439
Speaker 2: of a of a new thing that exists out in

321
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 2: the universe, such as underground sewer parties, I gather a

322
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 2: little bit more of my lust for life. So thanks

323
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 2: for sharing all this stuff, Sabo. Is there anything else

324
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,959
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer

325
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:20,680
Speaker 2: before we go?

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00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 4: Uh, Mouser's got a mouse, turtle power, turtle power, have

327
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 4: a canet keake?

328
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 1: Hello?

329
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Ben, Ben.

330
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 2: What's up? Man?

331
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 1: That's a gecko.

332
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 2: This is gecko.

333
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: What's up? Yeah, well you know what's up? Yeah? Well

334
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,000
Speaker 1: we might speak to That's what I texted you before. Yeah.

335
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 1: So I haven't worked in three years and paid by

336
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,919
Speaker 1: my company insurance because I went in to depression, like a

337
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 1: deep fucking depression, and I got like, I I got

338
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 1: panic attacks in anxiety a lot about like every fucking

339
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 1: thing that exists. So and I got to go back

340
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: to work in like three weeks.

341
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 2: So you you're insurance your your did you get like

342
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: panic attacks as a result of your.

343
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 1: Work at the start. Yeah, yeah, back then, Well when

344
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,680
Speaker 1: I went into the depression three years ago. Yeah yeah,

345
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 1: because I worked like for the government and I sell

346
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: alcohol for the government where I live.

347
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 2: So you sell alcohol for the government.

348
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's like.

349
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 2: You're in Montreal correct. Yeah, yeah, that's why you got back.

350
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,920
Speaker 2: Well that's what's why you got the French thing going on.

351
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why that's why I was.

352
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 2: I because I saw the I saw the plus one,

353
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 2: I saw the Canada area code by you, and then

354
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: you started talking and I was like, this is a

355
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 2: very funny sounding Canadian man, but you're French.

356
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am French. Yeah, it's like it's like like

357
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: the actual like yo, it's the fun part of Canada.

358
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:30,239
Speaker 2: Now, why did selling alcohol for the government send you

359
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 2: into a depression?

360
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,199
Speaker 1: I was looking at the COVID and you know, like

361
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: the love here, like in the restrictions were like I

362
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: didn't mind them that much, but they were like pretty heavy,

363
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 1: and but like everything was closed, but like those the

364
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 1: the like the liquor stores that were still open though,

365
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: because you know, we we were making money for the

366
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 1: government and also we're selling like it's a drug, you know,

367
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: it's all quality. So and uh so you're gonna stop

368
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: selling this because people are just gonna sucking break the

369
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 1: windows and just go crazy every every every place that

370
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 1: where they like the end every place where they did

371
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 1: close the liquor stores, they all got rub so anyways,

372
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: so that's why we kept on working. And like my

373
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: what my job pretty much changed into like I became

374
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: like a bouncer. You know, there's like only ten people

375
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: could be in the store at the same time, and

376
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: uh you know, it was that like I used to

377
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: be like working in a warehouse and now I had

378
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,120
Speaker 1: to be like upfront with fucking crazy people. One thing,

379
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 1: they're all cool and just like being aggressive and you know,

380
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: like you know, it was a shifty time. So this

381
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: was what sent me to depression. And then since I

382
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: was depressed, like you you know, you would think that

383
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: you're you're sad when you're the bread, but it's not

384
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 1: the main thing. You're more seem like like angry, you know.

385
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 1: And so I was angry and I stayed at my place.

386
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting out, so and that's when I started

387
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: developing panic attects. Because like if you spend like six

388
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: months in the same room and then a year in

389
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: the same room, in a year and a half and

390
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,919
Speaker 1: two years, and I've spent three years I've been in

391
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: my living room. Uh yeah. So now like things get,

392
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,439
Speaker 1: things get like it's like the world is shrunk, you know,

393
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 1: and everything that's outside of my living room is like

394
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: it's it's aggressing me.

395
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 2: You know what kinds of things are aggressing you.

396
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 1: Like everything that can be like everything that is like stimulating,

397
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: like birds chirping or like, you know, it's no it's no.

398
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: Last week here, like a ship shift on the snow

399
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: and they had to uh plow it away and like

400
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,959
Speaker 1: every sound and every you know, like, yeah, I don't know.

401
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: Everything that I cannot control, everything that I cannot control

402
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: is aggressing. And I think that's that's that's that's that thing.

403
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 2: Yeah sure, god yeah, yeah, you got into the world.

404
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: The birds are chirping, there's fucking noises and people talking.

405
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 2: It's it's annoying. It's annoying being inside.

406
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my place is like super calm.

407
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 2: So you also you mentioned in the text also that

408
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: in okay, so, your story as it stands to me

409
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: is you were working selling alcohol for the government in

410
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 2: Canada because they have weird laws.

411
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 3: Uh.

412
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: This put you in a position where there was just

413
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 2: a bunch of fucking crazy people around you all the time.

414
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,160
Speaker 2: This drove you kind of insane. And because it drove

415
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: you insane, you were able to collect a bunch of

416
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: money on insurance. And with that money, you've been able

417
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,479
Speaker 2: to stay home for three years. And you mentioned in

418
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: the text, I believe you said that you haven't left

419
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 2: the house in like two or three years. Is that correct?

420
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: Yeah? Almost? I like I go out there be once

421
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 1: every two or three weeks. Sometimes I go to the

422
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: corner store to buy some rolling papers, but that's about it.

423
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 1: I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes when I

424
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: first went in to the depression. Like I hadn't smoked

425
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: for like ten years, and I started smoking again. Of course,

426
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 1: you know, because you're on depression, some might as well

427
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: fucking smoke tobacco. And uh.

428
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 2: Are you would you consider yourself agoraphobic?

429
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, okay, yeah. And my doctor, my doctor also

430
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: spoke to me about having problems with days and spoke

431
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: I spoke about it with my I've actually been referred

432
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: to a psychiatrists. I'm going to see one in January.

433
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: It's going to be like the second time I see one.

434
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: First time I spent one, you just like told me, like, well,

435
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: you've got depressions, so take care of your depression and

436
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: come back to see me. So I thought it was

437
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: a bit like rough from this barness park there, but

438
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,360
Speaker 1: he was he was right, you know, might as well

439
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 1: let's take care of one sickness and.

440
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 2: Okay, I saw, I mean if we like, so let's

441
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,400
Speaker 2: get into it for a little bit. What what Yeah,

442
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: these these three years that you've just been at home

443
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: and you haven't been working, do you live alone?

444
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

445
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 2: What have you been doing past three years? Man?

446
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: I taught myself how to program.

447
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 2: Uh that's okay.

448
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: Cool, I think, are you that's that's the only thing.

449
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 1: For for the first six months, I did nothing, Like

450
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: I started on my ceiling and I didn't for for

451
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 1: for for after a year and a half. I mean,

452
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: I couldn't get out of my apartments because I would

453
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: get like too tired, you know, I couldn't get into

454
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: my like walk from my kitchen to my living room,

455
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: and I would be like exhausted just by doing this,

456
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: you know, because I was so not doing nothing. So

457
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: uh this also this also helped into the anxiety and

458
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 1: feeling unsafe outside, you know, but yeah, that's mostly what

459
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: I did for three years. I just like slugged myself

460
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: on the computer and I didn't get out of my eyes,

461
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: and I, you know, you know what what I like,

462
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: I've only just like I've known Twitch, but I've only

463
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: started watching Twitch for like a month.

464
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 2: So so so Ben, what have you been like are

465
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: you able to? Like is what have you been programming?

466
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 2: What have you been coding? What have you been making

467
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,719
Speaker 2: with this new skill that you learned.

468
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 1: I couldn't like, you know, I don't like, you know,

469
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: programming languages, but I couldn't see so I thought myself

470
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: out of code and see, so it's like pretty level

471
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: stuff like like you know what I've like, I I

472
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: had some like little gigs left and right, like on

473
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: fivers and up work and these kinds of uh stuff

474
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: where like because because I can do web also, but

475
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: for like, the thing I like the most is c programming,

476
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: you know, because it's low level stuff. So it's like

477
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: I program like, like it's mostly for my portfolio, like

478
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: so I can get a job maybe in that area

479
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 1: instead of working where I like because I fucking hate

480
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: my job. Uh so, yeah, yeah, so I've been mostly

481
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,360
Speaker 1: programming like stuff like you know, memory management stuff and

482
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 1: like file systems and mini os operating systems like you know,

483
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 1: like like low stuff, low level stuff.

484
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: Like just Ben, do you do? You do? You do?

485
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: You get lonely at all? And just being at your

486
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 2: house and not not talking to anyone.

487
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: I speak to people like every day, but like only

488
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 1: on the on the internet around I am for I

489
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 1: am tuckingly.

490
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 2: Well, there there is a problem you have. You have

491
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: you have like internet friends.

492
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: No I got real friends, but no real actually real

493
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: friends that I do see, but I I speak most

494
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: of my interactions with them are still on the Internet

495
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 1: because it's it's you know, it's mhm, every day living.

496
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: But they actually live live in Montreal. They live like

497
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: two streets away for me or so, so we do.

498
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: I do see people once in the blue Moon, but

499
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 1: I mostly speak to them on the But but you

500
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: still do get lonely though, because it's it's not the

501
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: same as as that, uh and there there is a

502
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: loneliness problem with uh. I don't know North American men

503
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: for sure, I know there there's yeah, yeah, so.

504
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: You you also said in the text that you're going

505
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 2: back work on January in person at the liquor store. Fuck, yeah,

506
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 2: how do you feel about that?

507
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: I'm freaking out.

508
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,239
Speaker 2: So here's the thing, though, is so I know you're

509
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: freaking out, but well, a couple of things, and I'm

510
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: just like just totally like practical ship is like you've

511
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: been spending the past three You're you're smart, You're really smart.

512
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: You spent these past three years not you didn't just

513
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 2: sit around and jack off all day. I mean, I'm

514
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: sure you did a little bit, but you learned, you

515
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: know you hold on, don't don't tell me what you're

516
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: about to tell me. Just yeah, hey, got yeah, what

517
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: were we gonna say?

518
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is that I just want to see

519
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: something about depression and taking entirely presents, you know, because

520
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: they took a lot of them. I'm still taking.

521
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: Are you about to say that they make your dick

522
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: not work?

523
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: No?

524
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: No, no, no no.

525
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: At first it's fucking worked, it's works, but you fucking

526
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 1: can come like you don't get it again right, Like

527
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: you just can't get to your right.

528
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: So it's very possible that you were just yeah, it's

529
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 2: very possible that you were just in the same masturbation

530
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 2: session for three years and then eventually you know, you

531
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: just come a whole bathtub at the end. But but

532
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: what I was going to say, what I was going

533
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 2: to say is you know you were smart, you learned

534
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 2: a skill over the past three years. And so you know,

535
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 2: my my friend, I wonder, why is it that you

536
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,479
Speaker 2: are Why have you resigned to yourself to Okay, I

537
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 2: now have to go back to this fucking horrible job.

538
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: As if as if A as if there's only one

539
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 2: job available for you to do in the entire you know,

540
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 2: country of Canada, and then b as if you didn't

541
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: just spend a whole bunch of time learning a new

542
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 2: marketable skill, Like why have you put yourself in this

543
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: box where the only thing for you to do to

544
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 2: make money? Now?

545
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: Is this?

546
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 2: Is this horrible job that you hate?

547
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: I know, I think it's because I like, like it

548
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: makes it makes when I look at it from the outside,

549
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: it makes absolute sense for me to see what that

550
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: fact I should take and like most probably will succeed in,

551
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: but to actually do it.

552
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 4: Or do it.

553
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: Like everything is still uh creating like everything is still

554
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: creating a lot of anxiety in me. So yeah, yeah,

555
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: that's the main that's the main, main thing. And uh,

556
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: I need to take the shipload Exanax just so I

557
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: don't freak out books at the time, so at least

558
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: at my government jump, you know, I thnk the Examax

559
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 1: out of my head and scam bottles at cash, you know,

560
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: and after for twenty dollars and just gives the fucking

561
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: money back. And you know, it's a basic jo.

562
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 2: Let me let me ask Let me ask you another thing.

563
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 2: Let me ask you anything through your insurance over the

564
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 2: past three years, have you been able to talk to

565
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 2: a therapist? You said you spoke to a doctor who.

566
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: Told yeah, yeah, yeah, but being a psychologist for four.

567
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 2: Years, tell me, I'm curious. I want I want to

568
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 2: know what are some things that the psychologists have just

569
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: told you.

570
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: Ah, well, we spent that ship all the time, and

571
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: my my childhood, I had uh, you know, threat syndrome.

572
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 2: Tourette syndrome. By the way, a very uh it's almost

573
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 2: apt for you because touret sounds like a very French.

574
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: It sounds like a.

575
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: French y head. I was going to get to head,

576
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: but you know, I said it, and it is just

577
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: because it sounds so cooler. Oh that's that's the main reason.

578
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,719
Speaker 2: So what is your So, what what is your What

579
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 2: is your psychologist told you that has been helpful for you?

580
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: And it's been helpful, it's I don't know, man, because

581
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: we've only been exploring, like even my best but like

582
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: Shan really told me anything that much about like actual

583
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: daily yeah, like actual.

584
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I fucking hate them. No, I know, I know,

585
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: you mean, I fucking hate that like I've been you know,

586
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: like I fucking hate in therapy where they're like, tell

587
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: me about when you were eight years old. I'm like,

588
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 2: first of all, I don't remember, and second of all,

589
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 2: I'm a hundred whatever. Okay, look, I know I'm not

590
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 2: a real therapist. I don't know, I didn't read any

591
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: of the books or whatever. But I'm like one hundred

592
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 2: percent sure that nothing happened to me when I was eight.

593
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,239
Speaker 2: That is the reason why I am. You know, I'm

594
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 2: addicted to candy or whatever the fuck. But I'm also

595
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 2: probably wrong and stupid. But but but no, I understand

596
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 2: your frustration about that. So so okay, so nobody knows

597
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 2: no psychologists, So no, no psychologists, no doctor. I mean

598
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 2: that what about the doctor like, has any has any

599
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 2: mental health or physical health professional given you any tips

600
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 2: or positive ways forward to deal with the things that

601
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 2: you're dealing with.

602
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a doctor and uh he prescribed me bills.

603
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 1: So it's pills in therapy with the psychologists, but that's

604
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: mainly you know, they say you get access to like

605
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 1: psychology resources and all this, but like it's hard to

606
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 1: actually get good psychology treatment. I don't know, It's like

607
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: sometimes you feel like they don't even know what to

608
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: fucking do with you. So like like like that, like

609
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: the woman a woman called me this week, like for

610
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: an interview, like none of the interview, Like there's like

611
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: a screening call before the psychiatrist. And she asked me

612
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: like that bunch of a bunch of questions and like

613
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: she asked me, what I what I what I'm expecting

614
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: out of the psychiatrist? You know, like how am I

615
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 1: supposed to know what to expect from the psychiatrist?

616
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 2: I mean he's just like, I, I hold on, I

617
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 2: think that's a legitimate question. What are you expecting out

618
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 2: of a psychiatrist?

619
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 1: Well, I I answered, Well, I just wish I wish

620
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: is like I just wish. She opens up my head

621
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:46,839
Speaker 1: and repairs it. Yeah, that's why I told her. Yeah,

622
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: but I don't know what what what?

623
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: What?

624
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: Like just just fucking track me open and fix.

625
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: It up, you know, Yeah, but I couldn't.

626
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 3: I know.

627
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: It's it's like she answered, But I mean I have no.

628
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think that's a answer. I think.

629
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 2: I mean, look, people go to school, and the job

630
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: exists to do that, right. The job exists because people

631
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 2: have fucking issues and they got to go to a

632
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 2: person to help them with the fucking issues. So uh, okay,

633
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: and this is the previous intake. So did you go

634
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 2: to see the psychiatrist?

635
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: No? No, Well I'm going to see them in January

636
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 1: most probably or four weeks.

637
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 2: So well, listen, you know, Ben, I you know I'm

638
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 2: not a real thing. I'm a fucking douche in a

639
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 2: in a in a shitty costume that I've been farting

640
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 2: on the phone. But I want to say, I want

641
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: to reiterate what I was saying to you, and I

642
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 2: understand that, like you know, you have a you're just

643
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 2: going through this ship that makes it hard to like

644
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: take action and not like catastrophize everything that's going on.

645
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: With you in your life. But I really do, like

646
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 2: from an outside if it's if it's meaningful to you

647
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: at all. From an outsider perspective, I think what you

648
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 2: did was really smart. You learned a skill that you

649
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 2: could now use to go apply. I'm sure that you

650
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: have a computer screen with like fifteen different fucking monitors

651
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: on it that you can do a whole bunch of

652
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 2: jobs from. So why don't you go on the internet

653
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: and find jobs or you know, I know you talked

654
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: about Fiverr, you talked about upwork. Those are all great things.

655
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 2: I'm sure you made a profile and you did this

656
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: and you offered whatever services that you can provide with

657
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,240
Speaker 2: the knowledge that you learned over the past three years.

658
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 2: But like, why don't you go within your means of

659
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 2: whatever you can do while while navigating whatever is going

660
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 2: on with your mental health right now? Like, see what

661
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 2: options out there exist for you in the world before

662
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 2: you know succumbing to this this defeat that the only

663
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 2: thing that you can ever do with your life ever

664
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 2: is get you know, yelled at by drunk French Canadian people.

665
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thanks for your advice, man.

666
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 2: Okay, good do you do you? Does that? Do you feel.

667
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 2: How do you feel about everything I just said?

668
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: I feel I feel fine?

669
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, okay, good?

670
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: No, thanks man? Thanks? Uh yeah you no bad? Of

671
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: course it makes sense what you're saying, but I mean

672
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: it's not something that's like so yeah, it's good to

673
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 1: you know when because when you speak when you fail,

674
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: like when you say things like they make sense as

675
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 1: you say them sometimes. So just like just talking with you,

676
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: like I realize somethings.

677
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 2: So okay, good man, But you don't want.

678
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: Though it's the first time I call, and I like,

679
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: I've no moved for known you for like only two

680
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: or three weeks, but like I watched your show every

681
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: time I can, and you're fucking great. You're an inspiration actually,

682
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 1: and I want to say, I'm gonna call you back

683
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna take you.

684
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 2: Okay, good, I'm down for I'm down for a follow

685
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 2: up if you go, if you find another job, let

686
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: me if you find another job or something happens, Okay,

687
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 2: you call me back, let's talk. I want to know

688
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: if there's an update, okay.

689
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 1: Perfect, man?

690
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 2: All right, Ben? Is the anything else? Okay? Is there

691
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 2: anything else you want to say? All right?

692
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 1: All right, just just be careful, you know, good, you know,

693
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,760
Speaker 1: maybe it doesn't exists.

694
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 2: All right, take care, Ben, thank you?

695
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: Right.

696
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 2: I gotta go to Montreal at some point. So wait,

697
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: the government runs liquor stores. That's kind of interesting. I

698
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: liked Ben. He was a cool guy. I don't know.

699
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:55,959
Speaker 2: I he's smart though, Like I said, he's smart because

700
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 2: I've talked to We've talked to like, you know, mildly

701
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 2: agoraphobic people on the on the podcast before, and like

702
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: obviously people in like crazy, like depressive episodes, and you know,

703
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 2: look for me when I'm in a crazy depressive episode.

704
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 2: I don't learn how to code, I you know, go insane.

705
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 2: I don't do anything productive. But he did something productive

706
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 2: with his crazy time. He turned crazy time into crunch time.

707
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 2: I was smart, and I hope it pays off for him.

708
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: All from Scooby.

709
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 2: Hello, what's up man?

710
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: What's up? Ject is?

711
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 2: This is Scooby? Yes, sir, what's going on? Scooby? How

712
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 2: can I help you today?

713
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: Nothing much, man, I was gonna talk about my experience

714
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 3: in foster cure for the past ten years.

715
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: Oh wow, how old are you now?

716
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 3: Eighteen?

717
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: Oh man? So you got to put there when you're eight?

718
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 3: Uh?

719
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead, start wherever you want to start.

720
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: All right.

721
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 3: So pretty much, I used to live with my dad

722
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: and he used to get into arguments and ship with

723
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 3: my step mom. Then I think child protective services came

724
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 3: in the picture, do like welfare checks. They came up

725
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 3: for my dad when he was smoking a joint and

726
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 3: then fucking then taking me to my grandparents' crib and

727
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 3: they took me to a shelter, and I started going

728
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 3: to group homes and threw out those. That's when I

729
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 3: started getting arrested and ship, hanging out with the wrong crowd,

730
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 3: got introduced into some fucked up drugs and ship m hm.

731
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 3: Moving a long run.

732
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 2: So so they took you away from your parents when

733
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: you were eight because your dad was smoking a joint

734
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 2: or it was a bunch of other stuff.

735
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was mainly because of argument and ship and

736
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 3: it wasn't like a household for her child. But the

737
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: joint really add the cherry on top when they showed up.

738
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 2: So did did you feel that way? Do you feel

739
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 2: like it was a bad environment for you?

740
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 3: Not really, But like nowadays, I don't really be talking

741
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 3: to my dad because every time I like I see him,

742
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,919
Speaker 3: it's always like an argument or I end up getting

743
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: arrested due to him like trying to aggravate me and

744
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: just trying to uh just fuck me.

745
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 2: So where are you at now?

746
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 3: Stayed up by febo? So I stept rarely had a

747
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 3: core order recently, like a month ago. I have to

748
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 3: go to rehab for sixty days, so I'm going there

749
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 3: on Monday.

750
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 2: All right, Now, you said that you were into like

751
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 2: drugs and doing all this other kind of stuff. Is

752
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 2: that something you're still into?

753
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 3: Honestly, I stopped all the hardcore shit. I'm just kind

754
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,720
Speaker 3: of doing like shrooms and like tree recently.

755
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: All right, are you gonna go to college?

756
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, actually I just gotta get my ged and

757
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 3: then the foster care system paid for my college til

758
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 3: twenty eight.

759
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: Oh really, that's actually pretty cool.

760
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 3: It's dope. They pay for the dormitory, they pay for everything,

761
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 3: and they pay me to go to school too.

762
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 4: Wow.

763
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: So you don't have to go into any kind of

764
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 2: do you don't have to pay a dying I.

765
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 3: Don't have to pay shit, man, it's all free.

766
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: Damn. I find there's definitely some seventeen year olds I'm

767
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 2: about to call, So there's definitely some seventeen year olds,

768
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 2: they're about to listen to this podcast and call social

769
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 2: services on their parents.

770
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 1: For sure.

771
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: What are you gonna study?

772
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 3: Most likely like computer engineering. But what I really want

773
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 3: to do first is get like some trades in like HVAC, electrical, poet, welding.

774
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: I can get that shit for free too, So if

775
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 3: I don't succeed in college, I also have that to

776
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:12,280
Speaker 3: fall back on. M M. You just get my certifications?

777
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: Are you excited?

778
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 3: Not? Really? Because I have like severe social anxiety. I

779
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 3: don't like talking to people like that.

780
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 2: Why do you? Why do you not like talking to people.

781
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 3: Due to like trauma and stuff. Like when I was

782
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 3: a kid. When I was like when I was young,

783
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 3: maybe ten years old, in a group home, like anytime

784
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 3: I'll come out, because it was like predominantly like you know,

785
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: black kids, staff is black whatever. I was like the

786
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 3: only white boy, and the anytime I spoke, it would

787
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: just be racial towards me, calling me like a cracker

788
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 3: all that shit. So I just didn't really, you know,

789
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 3: talk to people.

790
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 2: I'm myself. Do you have any friends right now?

791
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, I have one good friend of mine that

792
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 3: been hanging out with us since middle.

793
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 2: School Okay, do are you are you are you close

794
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 2: with them still?

795
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 1: Oh?

796
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. We started talking a lot more after

797
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 3: our good friend passed away a couple of years ago,

798
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 3: and uh so we met up at his funeral and

799
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:32,479
Speaker 3: started talking again. We'll get together and then yeah, still

800
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 3: talking to this day.

801
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

802
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 3: We look out for each other and ship m hm.

803
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 2: Hm hmm. So do you like now are you are

804
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 2: you feeling anxiety about like going into a classroom setting

805
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 2: and going to you're going to like traditional college, You're

806
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 2: gonna go to like a university, whether you'll be in

807
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: a door.

808
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. No. So what I'm doing is I live in

809
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: South Florida. There's a place called Brower College, like a

810
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 3: little community college. I'm gonna go there for two years.

811
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 3: So that's like my gateway to go to FSU Florida State.

812
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 2: Rad, Dude, Rad, I'm trying to think about anything that well,

813
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: I mean, let's think. I'll think with you. Is there

814
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 2: anything that you think would help you get over your

815
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: social anxiety?

816
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,720
Speaker 3: I really don't know if I haven't really tried anything. Okay,

817
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 3: And I think smoking you know, smoking pot doesn't really

818
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 3: help you either.

819
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 2: Okay, So that's another thing I was going to say

820
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 2: to you, is like, you know, weed affects everyone differently

821
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 2: and like, but here's the thing. Both ends of the

822
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 2: spectrum I don't think are good, right because for me

823
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 2: and for a lot of other people, when you smoke

824
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 2: a bunch of weed, you get in your head and

825
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: that's the worst position to be socializing from, because you're

826
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 2: overthinking everything you're saying, you're ever thinking everything the other

827
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 2: person is saying, you're not being yourself, you're paranoid, you're

828
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 2: you're shy, or it's just it's just it's just not good.

829
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 2: But even if you were to tell me that, But

830
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 2: if you were to tell me the opposite, even if

831
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 2: you were to tell me that we made you feel

832
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 2: more sociable and loose and whatever, that would still be

833
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 2: bad because then you would, you know, develop some kind

834
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 2: of system where like, oh, I have to get high

835
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: in order to talk to people, and that's not good either.

836
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:31,719
Speaker 6: So yeah, you know, I I've noticed that when I'll

837
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 6: do like mushrooms and shit, like it helps me like

838
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 6: not fear weird, like it makes me I don't know,

839
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,240
Speaker 6: it makes me happy and joyful, like I can actually talk.

840
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 3: To a little copy word about them judging me, and.

841
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 2: Shit, how often are you doing mushrooms?

842
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 3: I microdose like once every two or three days. So

843
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 3: I'm just getting back, you know, into the hang of

844
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 3: that shit. So not so I'll do it.

845
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: M hm hm.

846
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 2: So I assume you've been going to well, you're gonna

847
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 2: get a rehab for sixty days. Yeah.

848
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna go there for sixty days starting Mondays,

849
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 3: so I'll be out in March.

850
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 2: All right. Cool, How are you feeling about that?

851
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 3: Feeling kind of good? I mean I told my friends

852
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 3: and shit that I talked to you. Still, I'm about

853
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 3: to do my plan is and I told them when

854
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 3: I get out, I'm planning on being sober. Hopefully I'm

855
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 3: not addicted to vapes no more. And I don't, you know,

856
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 3: smoke me no more. Cool, I don't know, live the

857
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:43,919
Speaker 3: sober life.

858
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: Cool man. Well, I good on you. You see, you

859
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 2: have a really great perspective of all these things. It

860
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: sounds like you didn't have like the best positions growing up,

861
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 2: but you're making a lot of it for sure.

862
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 1: Yeah.

863
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,720
Speaker 3: See, Child protect the Services really fucked up my childhood,

864
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 3: but I made the best of it.

865
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: Child Protector Services fuck up your childhood.

866
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's when they are you.

867
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 2: Are you more mad at them than at your parents?

868
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, I mean, no kid wants to Even though

869
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 3: I had a shitty a household, I didn't want to

870
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 3: get taken away from my dad because still that that

871
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 3: is my father, that's my blood. I don't want to, like,

872
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 3: you know, be raised without him. But yeah, no, I

873
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 3: didn't live with my family. I was only got to

874
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 3: visit them once every week, every two weeks if I'm lucky,

875
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 3: for like an hour for visitation. And I was Yeah,

876
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 3: so I was eight.

877
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 2: You told me this already, but I was thinking about

878
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 2: something else. What are you studying.

879
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 3: Computer engineering? And for my age back electrical AC and plumbing.

880
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 2: That's sick. That's some good that I like that. I

881
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 2: like anything where you go to school, Like, if someone's

882
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 2: gonna pay for you to go to school, dude, please,

883
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 2: dear God, do something real. Oh yeah, can do something real.

884
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying and I've talked about this on

885
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 2: the fucking on here a billion times, I'm not saying

886
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 2: that the arts is not real, but like, yeah, but

887
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 2: like it's going to college, paying a bunch, going to

888
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 2: college for it is super not real. You know, like,

889
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: if you're gonna spend all the time and money and

890
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 2: effort to go to college, you know, get it in

891
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 2: something that you have to go to college for. So yeah,

892
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: good on you.

893
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. And they also also cover like apartments, Like

894
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 3: they pay half the rent. So I'll say, like, if

895
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,879
Speaker 3: it's like thirteen hundred, I'll pay like four hundred for rent.

896
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 2: Well how do they? What's the whole deal is the

897
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 2: foster system? Is that like a public tax funded thing?

898
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,359
Speaker 3: I think so? I mean I don't really know. I

899
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 3: know they give you benefits for you know, putting to

900
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 3: a whole bunch of bullshit through childhood. You're eighteen. That's

901
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,439
Speaker 3: like the way of saying, hey, hey, we're sorry, here's

902
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 3: a uh, here's your own crib. You get to go

903
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 3: to school for free if you really want to, you know,

904
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 3: all these free services and shit. I mean, I don't know.

905
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 3: And and even if you don't go to school, they

906
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 3: give you like almost a fifteen hundred a month just

907
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 3: because you were in foster care all those years. It's crazy.

908
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 2: That's great, that's great man. Well you know, what's your

909
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 2: name again? Hold on, don't tell me, I'm gonna remember it.

910
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 2: Fuck what's your name again, Scooby? Scooby, Okay, I feel

911
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 2: like I should have remembered that. Where'd you get the

912
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 2: name from?

913
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 3: I liked watching Scooby Doo growing up, and I was like,

914
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: my discord name and my fucking all my online games

915
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 3: growing up?

916
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 2: Is your friend named shag.

917
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 3: I had a friend named Shaggy?

918
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: Yeah?

919
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:05,959
Speaker 3: He changed his using in to that for call Booty

920
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 3: means and ship.

921
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 2: You're h I think I'm not worried about you, Scooby.

922
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 2: I think I think you're gonna do well. You gotta

923
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,359
Speaker 2: get ahead on your shoulders, keep keep doing what you're

924
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 2: doing and trying to stay sober and trying to, you know,

925
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 2: live life well for sure? Is there anything else you

926
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,479
Speaker 2: want to say to the people of the computer before

927
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 2: we go?

928
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 3: I hope all y'all have a good day or good night.

929
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 2: Leak will ghek bless you.

930
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 3: Man, have a good day.

931
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 2: Take care man ah man. I liked Scooby. I was

932
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 2: thinking when we were on the phone. I was like,

933
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:49,479
Speaker 2: am I and I'm too. I'm too I'm too deep

934
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: in the game for these questions, or maybe I'm not.

935
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm talking to Scooby and I'm like,

936
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 2: am I is it bad that I'm I just tend

937
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 2: to be a therapist, that I were doing fake therapy stuff,

938
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 2: And I think about it, but I liked I liked

939
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:12,280
Speaker 2: talking to Scooby. That was an engaging conversation. It felt

940
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 2: helpful for everyone involved. You know, I I, I know

941
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:23,919
Speaker 2: I enjoyed that fake therapy session. So whatever, I'll keep

942
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 2: doing fake therapy until you know, something really bad happens.

943
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 2: All right, thank you for calling. Scooby goes on the line,

944
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 2: thinking your phone calls every night ever, goes to what

945
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: and ide he's teaching

946
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,720
Speaker 6: You aloud in the memory line, but he's not really

947
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 6: an expert.