Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the
Speaker 1: home office in Austin, Texas, where it is time so
Speaker 1: once again open up the playbook and today, l Z,
Speaker 1: we're talking about something we know something about marriage proposals.
Speaker 2: Will you've been at a few of those, witnessed a couple?
Speaker 1: Well, I've been at a couple myself.
Speaker 2: I'm okay, done a couple, a couple.
Speaker 1: And then but just seen also see yeah, so literally figuratively,
Speaker 1: I've been around many, many, many proposals. I have seen
Speaker 1: them publicly, privately. And that's the topic today. When is
Speaker 1: it okay? Where is it okay to propose to the
Speaker 1: person you love? Well?
Speaker 2: This started because we saw something on People Magazine's Instagram.
Speaker 2: They asked the question is it okay to propose at
Speaker 2: someone else's wedding? And I have heard of people doing this.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a surprise, you're at your friend's wedding
Speaker 2: and love is in the air, and you will not
Speaker 2: it's a surprise for the person, obviously but pre planned.
Speaker 2: But you propose. I think this is so not okay
Speaker 2: to propose at someone else's wedding. What is the phrase
Speaker 2: we all say around a wedding, it's your day, it's
Speaker 2: their day. They have been planning for this, paying for this.
Speaker 2: They want this moment to be about them, and then
Speaker 2: you've put them in this difficult situation. You've kind of
Speaker 2: stolen the spotlight. But they can't really be mad at
Speaker 2: you because it's a proposal. It's love and it should
Speaker 2: be all joy. But now, what are people going to
Speaker 2: remember about their wedding that you propose there? I'm a
Speaker 2: big like, whatever it is on someone else's wedding, you
Speaker 2: cannot like take the spotlight for yourself on that. Don't
Speaker 2: cause any drama, don't pass out, don't propose.
Speaker 1: It's the one time where as the paying customer, it's
Speaker 1: not about your experience.
Speaker 2: This is yes, this is not the show for you
Speaker 2: to watch.
Speaker 1: It is about the people. You're going to celebrate. Whatever
Speaker 1: you can do to celebrate them, make them feel loved happy,
Speaker 1: do that anything that comes in your little brain that
Speaker 1: deters from that. It's a very simple litmus test. Will
Speaker 1: Bob and Mary love this? If the answer is huh,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, don't do it. Don't do it?
Speaker 2: I mean, well, First of all.
Speaker 1: Don't be selfish enough to think that they would love
Speaker 1: to see you propose and get engaged at their wady.
Speaker 2: I mean you've got to be Am I thinking about
Speaker 2: this wrong? Somebody tell me if I am that?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, I mean leave your comments
Speaker 1: because maybe people are like, look, hey, pal, we did
Speaker 1: this and it was it was great? But was it
Speaker 1: That's the other thing. Was it in your mind great?
Speaker 2: Or did everybody really think it was? Because I got
Speaker 2: to tell you, people probably aren't going to tell you
Speaker 2: the truth. They're going to say, oh, yeah, it was
Speaker 2: so awesome, but then they're going to stay behind your back.
Speaker 2: That was not that was you bet. If you're doing it,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you better approve it with the Brian
Speaker 2: and Gruom in advance. It would be interesting to see
Speaker 2: what they said if they were honest and said no,
Speaker 2: please don't do that, or if they just tried to
Speaker 2: be nice. But if you were going to do it,
Speaker 2: the very least you can do is very well get
Speaker 2: their approval and plan it out with them. Because also
Speaker 2: what if you do the proposal and they were like
Speaker 2: about to do the fireworks that minute, and then the
Speaker 2: fireworks have to be on a set time, and then
Speaker 2: the fireworks are really about you. There's a lot of
Speaker 2: scheduling and planning and coordinating on the day of a wedding.
Speaker 1: Now let's take this to a little different level, and
Speaker 1: that is public proposals, I e. At a baseball game
Speaker 1: on the jumbo tron, or at an NBA basketball game,
Speaker 1: and I will move to the next one. At a
Speaker 1: concert like Taylor.
Speaker 2: Swift, you've seen a lot of people do.
Speaker 1: The era's tour is going on, and obviously there's the
Speaker 1: famous line in the song how he gets down on
Speaker 1: one knee and proposes. Guys across the country have been
Speaker 1: proposing to their significant others at Taylor Swift concerts.
Speaker 2: I think, know your audience, maybe this is something really
Speaker 2: special to you too. You met you know, this was
Speaker 2: the song you first danced to together. It's your song
Speaker 2: or something. This artist means a lot to you too.
Speaker 2: I've seen it be very sweet. I think somebody proposed.
Speaker 2: I could be wrong, but I think it was at
Speaker 2: a Harry Styles concert and somehow they got Harry to help,
Speaker 2: like he was involved in it, and that can be
Speaker 2: super cool. But I guess I will say I picture
Speaker 2: the moment. And if you're proposing at a Taylor Swift concert,
Speaker 2: how is the person even hearing what you're saying? There's
Speaker 2: no you can't hear any special words there. Right, you're
Speaker 2: just getting down one knee because it's so screaming.
Speaker 1: He kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring.
Speaker 2: What do you think of the concert proposal?
Speaker 1: I've seen it work. Here's my thing is, I don't
Speaker 1: have a strong opinion one way or the other on this.
Speaker 1: Very important to know your audience because I have seen
Speaker 1: some of the women getting proposed to lose their minds.
Speaker 1: This is clearly their dream. This is probably on their
Speaker 1: vision board somewhere in their hope chest. And these these
Speaker 1: women have just burst into tears and.
Speaker 2: So wow, hope chest. That was a retrot. Does everybody
Speaker 2: remember what a hope chest is? I think it was
Speaker 2: something from like the days of when we had dowries
Speaker 2: and in your hope chest was supposed to be. Was
Speaker 2: it all the stuff you would take with you when
Speaker 2: you got married and moved into your own home.
Speaker 1: And all the things that you would hope for. And
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, now we call it a vision board.
Speaker 1: But the other thing I think of as the flip
Speaker 1: side of this for the guy. If you really don't know,
Speaker 1: you know the rundown the set list for Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: You're not sure when is it Marry Me Juliette? What's
Speaker 1: the name of that song?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know the chorus is marry Me Juliette. Whatever, But anyway,
Speaker 1: you have to wait for this song and then is
Speaker 1: the guy. You got to know when that line is
Speaker 1: coming out, because you got to be ready to not
Speaker 1: only get that ring out of your pocket and propose,
Speaker 1: you got to make sure, as Lauren just said, A,
Speaker 1: she's in her seat, B she can see you because
Speaker 1: she's clearly looking at Taylor Swift. A lot of things
Speaker 1: have to happen to go right. So I'm not against
Speaker 1: it at all, but man, that's a lot of choreography, And.
Speaker 2: Isn't every proposal a lot of choreography? Though? Make sure
Speaker 2: someone's real for shorting do it all? Actually, let me
Speaker 2: ask you this, having I don't even know how many
Speaker 2: proposals you've probably witnessed or been a part of at
Speaker 2: this point, dozens. What would be a few tips on
Speaker 2: a good proposal? A few must or a few do
Speaker 2: not do this tips for proposing.
Speaker 1: Wow, again, I think important to know your audience, you know,
Speaker 1: just because you are a Dodgers fan, a Dallas Cowboys.
Speaker 2: Okay, I will tell you with my first marriage, Oh,
Speaker 2: I should have known that. The the ex mentioned to
Speaker 2: me at one point like and it was almost like
Speaker 2: you was testing the waters about me proposing on a jumboach.
Speaker 2: Oh god me yeah, me, me a theater kid who,
Speaker 2: for lack of a better word, pretty much hates sports.
Speaker 2: I should have known then. I kind of laughed it
Speaker 2: off again, making the mistake then thinking oh, you know,
Speaker 2: he's just like young and he's not really likely. But really,
Speaker 2: when I look back, I do think it was kind
Speaker 2: of selfish. That was from what he wanted, what he
Speaker 2: thought would be cool. So you're right, know your audience
Speaker 2: and make it about the person you're proposing to.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. And I hate to say this
Speaker 1: to anybody who's doing the proposing, men or women, but
Speaker 1: you really want that moment to be about the person
Speaker 1: you're proposing too. And I know that sounds kind of weird.
Speaker 1: You're like, Hey, this is just much a part of
Speaker 1: me in my relationship about.
Speaker 2: Something you've shared. I mean it makes if it's a
Speaker 2: special place for both of them, right, It certainly shouldn't
Speaker 2: be about what you think would be a cool proposal, like.
Speaker 1: I love the Dallas Cowboys. The thought of putting Lauren
Speaker 1: in a suite or in a football game and putting
Speaker 1: her up on the jumbo tron, let's take proposal out
Speaker 1: of it. Just on any given day, it's just a
Speaker 1: terrible idea. And so I see some of these and
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, this is so painful. You're with
Speaker 1: eighty thousand people, then what do you do enjoy the
Speaker 1: rest of the game. It's just weird. And so I
Speaker 1: I just am so against them anyway.
Speaker 2: But oh, you're just fully against a jumbo tron.
Speaker 1: I am. I'm and I'll just I'll just put it
Speaker 1: out there. I am against them all together. It's just
Speaker 1: why are you doing this to us? I'm just here
Speaker 1: trying to enjoy the game.
Speaker 2: Experience.
Speaker 1: But look, I understand that there are couples that this
Speaker 1: is this is what they bond over. So yes, sometimes
Speaker 1: it does work, just as anywhere else. So I'll give
Speaker 1: you that the eras tour Taylor Swift doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: I won't be such a Scrooge to say publicly, it's
Speaker 1: just know your person, Okay. Tip number one, yeah, tip
Speaker 1: number two, you know I don't. I don't really have
Speaker 1: a tip number two put you on the spot. No,
Speaker 1: I was just saying, I mean there are I would.
Speaker 2: I'd say Tip number two is plan and choreograph in advance.
Speaker 1: Well, for sure, I mean I think you kind of
Speaker 1: have to. I hope that's not everybody does.
Speaker 2: And then you're like, oh my gosh, you didn't you
Speaker 2: think this doesn't happen. One hundred percent of this happens that,
Speaker 2: especially guys propose. And then the woman looks back and says,
Speaker 2: you didn't have anyone record it. There are no photos.
Speaker 2: You didn't have anybody there to take a picture or
Speaker 2: a video or anything. Think about the time of day.
Speaker 2: Are we going to be hot, are we going to
Speaker 2: be sweaty? Will we be comfortable? I know someone who
Speaker 2: their fiance was going to propose, and he got lost
Speaker 2: on his way to the location and they wound up
Speaker 2: biking around for about an hour, and then by the
Speaker 2: time he proposed, she was all sweaty and mad. Maybe
Speaker 2: tip number three is if it's not going well, rethink.
Speaker 2: At that point he shouldn't have proposed at that moment.
Speaker 2: He should have just rethought the time in the location.
Speaker 1: I just realized proposals are a lot like having sex.
Speaker 1: Maybe don't think so much about the act of when
Speaker 1: it's happening. Think more about how both of you are
Speaker 1: feeling the second it's over. As soon as it's over,
Speaker 1: where are you? What can you do to enjoy this.
Speaker 2: Month in a minute? You don't think that you're not
Speaker 2: thinking about how people are if people are happy during sex.
Speaker 1: No, you're going to enjoy that moment, right, Everyone's going
Speaker 1: to enjoy the climax of like, here's a ring, we're
Speaker 1: getting married. But as soon as it's over, are we
Speaker 1: now sitting on a sticky stadium floor? Are we now
Speaker 1: sitting with eighty thousand people we don't know? Are we
Speaker 1: now stuck on a glacier?
Speaker 2: You're saying, think about the aftermath of the proposal.
Speaker 1: Think about the aftermath of the proposal, Like the moment
Speaker 1: we were done with our proposal, we had a beautiful bottle,
Speaker 1: Yeah we got we had an amazing sunset.
Speaker 2: Have you had a dinner reservation?
Speaker 1: What is the afterglow like? And maybe I guess that
Speaker 1: would be my tip is think about it like sex. Sure,
Speaker 1: you're going to enjoy the act of it, what is
Speaker 1: the immediate.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I don't know what he's gonna say. He just
Speaker 2: said that would be my tip. Think about it like sex.
Speaker 2: I mean that's a sentence you just said.
Speaker 1: Just the tip.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, stop, Oh my gosh. Audience doesn't want
Speaker 2: to hear you this way.
Speaker 1: Lauren is sweating, Laura is sweating.
Speaker 2: This I feel as awkward as if I just said
Speaker 2: as if I just said no to a proposal.
Speaker 1: But it is definitely I think, to get back to
Speaker 1: the very beginning of this, A no no at someone
Speaker 1: else's wedding. I think that's I think that's tantamount to
Speaker 1: like proposing at a funeral. It's just like, no, it's
Speaker 1: just not a good time to do it.
Speaker 2: Do you think someone's ever proposed at a funeral? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: Gosh, if you please send us people.
Speaker 1: Don't have such bad judgment. You just you'd be shocked.
Speaker 2: Please send us your bad proposal stories. I would love
Speaker 2: to hear like things you've witnessed you.
Speaker 1: It's probably a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whatever that
Speaker 1: you're like, I heard this story.
Speaker 2: I want to hear the bad proposal stories or someone
Speaker 2: ever said no one, it was really awkward.
Speaker 1: That's a show. By the Let's do an entire show.
Speaker 1: Please get a hold of us. Go to at the
Speaker 1: most dramatic pod ever. Give us your a quick synopsis,
Speaker 1: don't go crazy, and we are going to chase you down.
Speaker 1: We're going to do a show of the worst proposals ever.
Speaker 2: All right, So our tips are one, know your audience,
Speaker 2: two plan ahead, and three think about the aftermath. I
Speaker 2: think these are very good tips.
Speaker 1: They're great tips, and it's something that you look when
Speaker 1: you do it a couple of times, multiple times. It
Speaker 1: changes as you get older, you know. I think when
Speaker 1: we're younger, we are trying to get to just fulfill
Speaker 1: this fantasy or just trying to fill this idea of
Speaker 1: getting engaged, so we're probably worse at it, Like I
Speaker 1: would probably venture to guess that yours and mine. The
Speaker 1: first time we went through this was very different than
Speaker 1: when we went through this together the second time.
Speaker 2: I have a question, how involved do you think family
Speaker 2: should be in proposal engagement moments?
Speaker 1: Again, tough call, because what does the person you are
Speaker 1: proposing to think? Would they want your mom there, their
Speaker 1: mom there? Sister. Whatever I thought about that with us,
Speaker 1: I went deep into that. I know you are so
Speaker 1: close to your family, and I thought, would it be
Speaker 1: great to have them there at dinner? And I still
Speaker 1: think it probably would have been a great idea to
Speaker 1: have them all waiting for at dinner. But I was
Speaker 1: a little selfish in that I just wanted you to myself, Oh, I.
Speaker 2: Think you made the perfect call because we were in
Speaker 2: Napa and it's a romantic place and we had like
Speaker 2: a super romantic weekend. But I think it's very sweet
Speaker 2: when people like propose somewhere locally and then maybe they're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: we've got a dinner reservation and you go to the
Speaker 2: restaurant and your whole family's there and you're celebrating.
Speaker 1: That's a really fun well, it's funny interesting. We were
Speaker 1: just in Cabo this last week from my birthday and
Speaker 1: we were kind of walking down dinner dinner ish time,
Speaker 1: and we heard some screaming on the beach, joyous screaming,
Speaker 1: not like there's a shark in the water screaming. There
Speaker 1: was this joyous screaming, and I realized what had happened
Speaker 1: was there was this kind of cliff and a bunch
Speaker 1: of people were hiding behind this cliff. Clearly they had
Speaker 1: been waiting for a proposal. We couldn't see because the
Speaker 1: rocks are blocking it. And they all went sprinting out
Speaker 1: with flowers and champagne, and so you know, you know,
Speaker 1: do you want your significant other to kind of have
Speaker 1: a moment to breathe all in and take in the
Speaker 1: fact that you've just gotten engaged and share this moment
Speaker 1: looking into each other's eyes, crying, talking, because immediately these
Speaker 1: people went rushing in and now it's about everybody. And
Speaker 1: so does that take away from your experience getting proposed?
Speaker 2: To know your audience? What is your person like? What
Speaker 2: are they into?
Speaker 1: I knew you a not public and I'm not a
Speaker 1: public person either, so that was also on me, the
Speaker 1: two of us. We don't want it. We wouldn't have
Speaker 1: wanted to do it at a restaurant in the middle
Speaker 1: of dinner a tink tink or whatever. Obviously sports is
Speaker 1: out of the question, but you know, at the theater, like, okay,
Speaker 1: you're you're theater and I'd take you to Harry Potter
Speaker 1: on Broadway. Still not the place of the time to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: No, I think what I loved about when we got
Speaker 2: engaged was that the whole moment was about that. It
Speaker 2: wasn't about some other event that was going on. It
Speaker 2: was just about us in a place that we loved,
Speaker 2: and we had a really romantic weekend that was like,
Speaker 2: I mean, it was a perfect weekend, but it was
Speaker 2: just us together, and there really aren't, Especially when you
Speaker 2: get busy with life and kids and friends and all that,
Speaker 2: you kind of look back and realize, oh, it was
Speaker 2: really valuable to have just a few days that were
Speaker 2: just about us. Because probably the older I've gotten, the
Speaker 2: more I realized that as much as you're close to
Speaker 2: your family and it's important to have great family and
Speaker 2: great friends and all that, your relationship the two of
Speaker 2: you is really what has to be like good for
Speaker 2: it to last. And you can't factor in other people
Speaker 2: into that.
Speaker 1: So when you've become all of a sudden, you went
Speaker 1: from everything being about you and you're still being celebrated,
Speaker 1: but you've become a host. Now you're hosting everybody. Oh,
Speaker 1: when your friends are there, when family's there, and so
Speaker 1: now immediately you're just telling stories that you probably don't
Speaker 1: want to be telling about. Oh, tell me about the
Speaker 1: first time y'all kissed or whatever. It's like, you're the
Speaker 1: vibe changes, and what I liked about when we got
Speaker 1: engaged was I wanted it to be just about us,
Speaker 1: in our relationship and our love and just our vibe.
Speaker 2: Are there any other places you should never propose?
Speaker 1: I mean, like you said the funeral?
Speaker 2: Oh you said that.
Speaker 1: At work? That's a bit. It seems like a really
Speaker 1: bad place.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, where'd you propose? Conference room?
Speaker 1: By via zoom? What do you think about holidays? Oh,
Speaker 1: proposing on Christmas? Proposing on New Year's is a big one.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people want to propose at
Speaker 1: midnight on New Year's I'm kind of into that. That's okay,
Speaker 1: you are outcome. Oh no, I just I see it.
Speaker 1: I see the flipping of a page a new chapter.
Speaker 1: You know, something you'll always remember is proposing at midnight.
Speaker 1: We were in Times Square.
Speaker 2: We'll be honest. I don't like it. Here's why. Okay,
Speaker 2: whether you propose, we're getting or get married on a holiday.
Speaker 2: And again, I'm sure people have had great experiences, so
Speaker 2: shoot me a DM about it. But you do run
Speaker 2: into the problem of your anniversary, and your memory of
Speaker 2: that thing is always tied into the other thing. Like
Speaker 2: if you get married at New Year's then your anniversary
Speaker 2: is always on New Year's and you're never separating it
Speaker 2: celebrating it separately. If you propose at Christmas, what you
Speaker 2: always remember you got engaged on Christmas, but it's never
Speaker 2: So maybe he proposals a little easier because you're not
Speaker 2: going to perpetually celebrate the day you got engaged. Your
Speaker 2: anniversary will become the day you got married. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I think getting married, especially on Christmas or New Year's
Speaker 2: it makes celebrating messy in for sure.
Speaker 1: But you know, and I'm sure there are plenty of
Speaker 1: people that would wrap up a gift, you know, and
Speaker 1: you open it up and it's a ring ah clever,
Speaker 1: and so I tread I tread lightly in that area.
Speaker 1: But I just was wondering your thoughts on you know,
Speaker 1: and look, maybe there's other holidays. Do it on Groundhog Day,
Speaker 1: do it on ourbor Day. These are days you're not
Speaker 1: going to have to worry too much about in the future.
Speaker 1: But I think at the end of the day, the
Speaker 1: biggest takeaway know that person, Make it about that person.
Speaker 1: And if you're at someone else's wedding, please make it
Speaker 1: about them and not you, and if you're going to
Speaker 1: do it, check in and check in with us time
Speaker 1: to time. You can always find Laura and I on
Speaker 1: our social media on Instagram at Lauren Zima at Chris B. Harrison,
Speaker 1: and always leave us your comments at the Most Dramatic
Speaker 1: Pod Ever because we always love talking to you. We
Speaker 1: always enjoy opening up the playbook each and every week.
Speaker 1: We'll see you next time because we have a lot
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