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Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the

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Speaker 1: home office in Austin, Texas, where it is time so

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Speaker 1: once again open up the playbook and today, l Z,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about something we know something about marriage proposals.

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Speaker 2: Will you've been at a few of those, witnessed a couple?

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Speaker 1: Well, I've been at a couple myself.

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Speaker 2: I'm okay, done a couple, a couple.

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Speaker 1: And then but just seen also see yeah, so literally figuratively,

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Speaker 1: I've been around many, many, many proposals. I have seen

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Speaker 1: them publicly, privately. And that's the topic today. When is

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Speaker 1: it okay? Where is it okay to propose to the

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Speaker 1: person you love? Well?

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Speaker 2: This started because we saw something on People Magazine's Instagram.

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Speaker 2: They asked the question is it okay to propose at

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Speaker 2: someone else's wedding? And I have heard of people doing this.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's a surprise, you're at your friend's wedding

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Speaker 2: and love is in the air, and you will not

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Speaker 2: it's a surprise for the person, obviously but pre planned.

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Speaker 2: But you propose. I think this is so not okay

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Speaker 2: to propose at someone else's wedding. What is the phrase

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Speaker 2: we all say around a wedding, it's your day, it's

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Speaker 2: their day. They have been planning for this, paying for this.

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Speaker 2: They want this moment to be about them, and then

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Speaker 2: you've put them in this difficult situation. You've kind of

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Speaker 2: stolen the spotlight. But they can't really be mad at

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Speaker 2: you because it's a proposal. It's love and it should

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Speaker 2: be all joy. But now, what are people going to

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Speaker 2: remember about their wedding that you propose there? I'm a

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Speaker 2: big like, whatever it is on someone else's wedding, you

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Speaker 2: cannot like take the spotlight for yourself on that. Don't

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Speaker 2: cause any drama, don't pass out, don't propose.

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Speaker 1: It's the one time where as the paying customer, it's

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Speaker 1: not about your experience.

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Speaker 2: This is yes, this is not the show for you

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Speaker 2: to watch.

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Speaker 1: It is about the people. You're going to celebrate. Whatever

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Speaker 1: you can do to celebrate them, make them feel loved happy,

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Speaker 1: do that anything that comes in your little brain that

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Speaker 1: deters from that. It's a very simple litmus test. Will

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Speaker 1: Bob and Mary love this? If the answer is huh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure, don't do it. Don't do it?

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Speaker 2: I mean, well, First of all.

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Speaker 1: Don't be selfish enough to think that they would love

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Speaker 1: to see you propose and get engaged at their wady.

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Speaker 2: I mean you've got to be Am I thinking about

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Speaker 2: this wrong? Somebody tell me if I am that?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, I mean leave your comments

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Speaker 1: because maybe people are like, look, hey, pal, we did

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Speaker 1: this and it was it was great? But was it

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Speaker 1: That's the other thing. Was it in your mind great?

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Speaker 2: Or did everybody really think it was? Because I got

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Speaker 2: to tell you, people probably aren't going to tell you

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Speaker 2: the truth. They're going to say, oh, yeah, it was

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Speaker 2: so awesome, but then they're going to stay behind your back.

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Speaker 2: That was not that was you bet. If you're doing it,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you better approve it with the Brian

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Speaker 2: and Gruom in advance. It would be interesting to see

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Speaker 2: what they said if they were honest and said no,

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Speaker 2: please don't do that, or if they just tried to

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Speaker 2: be nice. But if you were going to do it,

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Speaker 2: the very least you can do is very well get

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Speaker 2: their approval and plan it out with them. Because also

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Speaker 2: what if you do the proposal and they were like

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Speaker 2: about to do the fireworks that minute, and then the

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Speaker 2: fireworks have to be on a set time, and then

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Speaker 2: the fireworks are really about you. There's a lot of

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Speaker 2: scheduling and planning and coordinating on the day of a wedding.

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Speaker 1: Now let's take this to a little different level, and

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Speaker 1: that is public proposals, I e. At a baseball game

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Speaker 1: on the jumbo tron, or at an NBA basketball game,

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Speaker 1: and I will move to the next one. At a

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Speaker 1: concert like Taylor.

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Speaker 2: Swift, you've seen a lot of people do.

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Speaker 1: The era's tour is going on, and obviously there's the

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Speaker 1: famous line in the song how he gets down on

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Speaker 1: one knee and proposes. Guys across the country have been

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Speaker 1: proposing to their significant others at Taylor Swift concerts.

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Speaker 2: I think, know your audience, maybe this is something really

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Speaker 2: special to you too. You met you know, this was

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Speaker 2: the song you first danced to together. It's your song

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Speaker 2: or something. This artist means a lot to you too.

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Speaker 2: I've seen it be very sweet. I think somebody proposed.

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Speaker 2: I could be wrong, but I think it was at

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Speaker 2: a Harry Styles concert and somehow they got Harry to help,

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Speaker 2: like he was involved in it, and that can be

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Speaker 2: super cool. But I guess I will say I picture

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Speaker 2: the moment. And if you're proposing at a Taylor Swift concert,

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Speaker 2: how is the person even hearing what you're saying? There's

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Speaker 2: no you can't hear any special words there. Right, you're

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Speaker 2: just getting down one knee because it's so screaming.

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Speaker 1: He kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring.

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Speaker 2: What do you think of the concert proposal?

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Speaker 1: I've seen it work. Here's my thing is, I don't

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Speaker 1: have a strong opinion one way or the other on this.

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Speaker 1: Very important to know your audience because I have seen

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Speaker 1: some of the women getting proposed to lose their minds.

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Speaker 1: This is clearly their dream. This is probably on their

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Speaker 1: vision board somewhere in their hope chest. And these these

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Speaker 1: women have just burst into tears and.

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Speaker 2: So wow, hope chest. That was a retrot. Does everybody

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Speaker 2: remember what a hope chest is? I think it was

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Speaker 2: something from like the days of when we had dowries

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Speaker 2: and in your hope chest was supposed to be. Was

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Speaker 2: it all the stuff you would take with you when

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Speaker 2: you got married and moved into your own home.

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Speaker 1: And all the things that you would hope for. And

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, now we call it a vision board.

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Speaker 1: But the other thing I think of as the flip

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Speaker 1: side of this for the guy. If you really don't know,

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Speaker 1: you know the rundown the set list for Taylor Swift.

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Speaker 1: You're not sure when is it Marry Me Juliette? What's

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Speaker 1: the name of that song?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I know the chorus is marry Me Juliette. Whatever, But anyway,

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Speaker 1: you have to wait for this song and then is

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Speaker 1: the guy. You got to know when that line is

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Speaker 1: coming out, because you got to be ready to not

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Speaker 1: only get that ring out of your pocket and propose,

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Speaker 1: you got to make sure, as Lauren just said, A,

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Speaker 1: she's in her seat, B she can see you because

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Speaker 1: she's clearly looking at Taylor Swift. A lot of things

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Speaker 1: have to happen to go right. So I'm not against

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Speaker 1: it at all, but man, that's a lot of choreography, And.

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Speaker 2: Isn't every proposal a lot of choreography? Though? Make sure

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Speaker 2: someone's real for shorting do it all? Actually, let me

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Speaker 2: ask you this, having I don't even know how many

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Speaker 2: proposals you've probably witnessed or been a part of at

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Speaker 2: this point, dozens. What would be a few tips on

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Speaker 2: a good proposal? A few must or a few do

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Speaker 2: not do this tips for proposing.

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Speaker 1: Wow, again, I think important to know your audience, you know,

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Speaker 1: just because you are a Dodgers fan, a Dallas Cowboys.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I will tell you with my first marriage, Oh,

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Speaker 2: I should have known that. The the ex mentioned to

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Speaker 2: me at one point like and it was almost like

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Speaker 2: you was testing the waters about me proposing on a jumboach.

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Speaker 2: Oh god me yeah, me, me a theater kid who,

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Speaker 2: for lack of a better word, pretty much hates sports.

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Speaker 2: I should have known then. I kind of laughed it

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Speaker 2: off again, making the mistake then thinking oh, you know,

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Speaker 2: he's just like young and he's not really likely. But really,

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Speaker 2: when I look back, I do think it was kind

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Speaker 2: of selfish. That was from what he wanted, what he

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Speaker 2: thought would be cool. So you're right, know your audience

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Speaker 2: and make it about the person you're proposing to.

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing. And I hate to say this

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Speaker 1: to anybody who's doing the proposing, men or women, but

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Speaker 1: you really want that moment to be about the person

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Speaker 1: you're proposing too. And I know that sounds kind of weird.

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Speaker 1: You're like, Hey, this is just much a part of

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Speaker 1: me in my relationship about.

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Speaker 2: Something you've shared. I mean it makes if it's a

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Speaker 2: special place for both of them, right, It certainly shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be about what you think would be a cool proposal, like.

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Speaker 1: I love the Dallas Cowboys. The thought of putting Lauren

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Speaker 1: in a suite or in a football game and putting

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Speaker 1: her up on the jumbo tron, let's take proposal out

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Speaker 1: of it. Just on any given day, it's just a

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Speaker 1: terrible idea. And so I see some of these and

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Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, this is so painful. You're with

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Speaker 1: eighty thousand people, then what do you do enjoy the

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Speaker 1: rest of the game. It's just weird. And so I

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Speaker 1: I just am so against them anyway.

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Speaker 2: But oh, you're just fully against a jumbo tron.

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Speaker 1: I am. I'm and I'll just I'll just put it

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Speaker 1: out there. I am against them all together. It's just

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Speaker 1: why are you doing this to us? I'm just here

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Speaker 1: trying to enjoy the game.

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Speaker 2: Experience.

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Speaker 1: But look, I understand that there are couples that this

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Speaker 1: is this is what they bond over. So yes, sometimes

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Speaker 1: it does work, just as anywhere else. So I'll give

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Speaker 1: you that the eras tour Taylor Swift doesn't bother me.

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Speaker 1: I won't be such a Scrooge to say publicly, it's

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Speaker 1: just know your person, Okay. Tip number one, yeah, tip

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Speaker 1: number two, you know I don't. I don't really have

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Speaker 1: a tip number two put you on the spot. No,

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Speaker 1: I was just saying, I mean there are I would.

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Speaker 2: I'd say Tip number two is plan and choreograph in advance.

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Speaker 1: Well, for sure, I mean I think you kind of

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Speaker 1: have to. I hope that's not everybody does.

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Speaker 2: And then you're like, oh my gosh, you didn't you

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Speaker 2: think this doesn't happen. One hundred percent of this happens that,

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Speaker 2: especially guys propose. And then the woman looks back and says,

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Speaker 2: you didn't have anyone record it. There are no photos.

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Speaker 2: You didn't have anybody there to take a picture or

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Speaker 2: a video or anything. Think about the time of day.

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Speaker 2: Are we going to be hot, are we going to

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Speaker 2: be sweaty? Will we be comfortable? I know someone who

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Speaker 2: their fiance was going to propose, and he got lost

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Speaker 2: on his way to the location and they wound up

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Speaker 2: biking around for about an hour, and then by the

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Speaker 2: time he proposed, she was all sweaty and mad. Maybe

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Speaker 2: tip number three is if it's not going well, rethink.

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Speaker 2: At that point he shouldn't have proposed at that moment.

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Speaker 2: He should have just rethought the time in the location.

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Speaker 1: I just realized proposals are a lot like having sex.

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Speaker 1: Maybe don't think so much about the act of when

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Speaker 1: it's happening. Think more about how both of you are

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Speaker 1: feeling the second it's over. As soon as it's over,

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Speaker 1: where are you? What can you do to enjoy this.

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Speaker 2: Month in a minute? You don't think that you're not

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Speaker 2: thinking about how people are if people are happy during sex.

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Speaker 1: No, you're going to enjoy that moment, right, Everyone's going

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Speaker 1: to enjoy the climax of like, here's a ring, we're

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Speaker 1: getting married. But as soon as it's over, are we

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Speaker 1: now sitting on a sticky stadium floor? Are we now

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Speaker 1: sitting with eighty thousand people we don't know? Are we

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Speaker 1: now stuck on a glacier?

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Speaker 2: You're saying, think about the aftermath of the proposal.

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Speaker 1: Think about the aftermath of the proposal, Like the moment

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Speaker 1: we were done with our proposal, we had a beautiful bottle,

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Speaker 1: Yeah we got we had an amazing sunset.

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Speaker 2: Have you had a dinner reservation?

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Speaker 1: What is the afterglow like? And maybe I guess that

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Speaker 1: would be my tip is think about it like sex. Sure,

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Speaker 1: you're going to enjoy the act of it, what is

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Speaker 1: the immediate.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I don't know what he's gonna say. He just

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Speaker 2: said that would be my tip. Think about it like sex.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's a sentence you just said.

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Speaker 1: Just the tip.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, stop, Oh my gosh. Audience doesn't want

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Speaker 2: to hear you this way.

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Speaker 1: Lauren is sweating, Laura is sweating.

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Speaker 2: This I feel as awkward as if I just said

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Speaker 2: as if I just said no to a proposal.

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Speaker 1: But it is definitely I think, to get back to

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Speaker 1: the very beginning of this, A no no at someone

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Speaker 1: else's wedding. I think that's I think that's tantamount to

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Speaker 1: like proposing at a funeral. It's just like, no, it's

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Speaker 1: just not a good time to do it.

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Speaker 2: Do you think someone's ever proposed at a funeral? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Sure?

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Speaker 2: Gosh, if you please send us people.

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Speaker 1: Don't have such bad judgment. You just you'd be shocked.

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Speaker 2: Please send us your bad proposal stories. I would love

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Speaker 2: to hear like things you've witnessed you.

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Speaker 1: It's probably a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whatever that

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Speaker 1: you're like, I heard this story.

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Speaker 2: I want to hear the bad proposal stories or someone

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Speaker 2: ever said no one, it was really awkward.

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Speaker 1: That's a show. By the Let's do an entire show.

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Speaker 1: Please get a hold of us. Go to at the

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Speaker 1: most dramatic pod ever. Give us your a quick synopsis,

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Speaker 1: don't go crazy, and we are going to chase you down.

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Speaker 1: We're going to do a show of the worst proposals ever.

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Speaker 2: All right, So our tips are one, know your audience,

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Speaker 2: two plan ahead, and three think about the aftermath. I

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Speaker 2: think these are very good tips.

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Speaker 1: They're great tips, and it's something that you look when

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Speaker 1: you do it a couple of times, multiple times. It

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Speaker 1: changes as you get older, you know. I think when

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Speaker 1: we're younger, we are trying to get to just fulfill

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Speaker 1: this fantasy or just trying to fill this idea of

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Speaker 1: getting engaged, so we're probably worse at it, Like I

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Speaker 1: would probably venture to guess that yours and mine. The

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Speaker 1: first time we went through this was very different than

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Speaker 1: when we went through this together the second time.

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Speaker 2: I have a question, how involved do you think family

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Speaker 2: should be in proposal engagement moments?

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Speaker 1: Again, tough call, because what does the person you are

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Speaker 1: proposing to think? Would they want your mom there, their

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Speaker 1: mom there? Sister. Whatever I thought about that with us,

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Speaker 1: I went deep into that. I know you are so

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Speaker 1: close to your family, and I thought, would it be

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Speaker 1: great to have them there at dinner? And I still

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Speaker 1: think it probably would have been a great idea to

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Speaker 1: have them all waiting for at dinner. But I was

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Speaker 1: a little selfish in that I just wanted you to myself, Oh, I.

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Speaker 2: Think you made the perfect call because we were in

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Speaker 2: Napa and it's a romantic place and we had like

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Speaker 2: a super romantic weekend. But I think it's very sweet

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Speaker 2: when people like propose somewhere locally and then maybe they're like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: we've got a dinner reservation and you go to the

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Speaker 2: restaurant and your whole family's there and you're celebrating.

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Speaker 1: That's a really fun well, it's funny interesting. We were

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Speaker 1: just in Cabo this last week from my birthday and

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Speaker 1: we were kind of walking down dinner dinner ish time,

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Speaker 1: and we heard some screaming on the beach, joyous screaming,

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Speaker 1: not like there's a shark in the water screaming. There

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Speaker 1: was this joyous screaming, and I realized what had happened

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Speaker 1: was there was this kind of cliff and a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people were hiding behind this cliff. Clearly they had

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Speaker 1: been waiting for a proposal. We couldn't see because the

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Speaker 1: rocks are blocking it. And they all went sprinting out

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Speaker 1: with flowers and champagne, and so you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: do you want your significant other to kind of have

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Speaker 1: a moment to breathe all in and take in the

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Speaker 1: fact that you've just gotten engaged and share this moment

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Speaker 1: looking into each other's eyes, crying, talking, because immediately these

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Speaker 1: people went rushing in and now it's about everybody. And

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Speaker 1: so does that take away from your experience getting proposed?

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Speaker 2: To know your audience? What is your person like? What

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Speaker 2: are they into?

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Speaker 1: I knew you a not public and I'm not a

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Speaker 1: public person either, so that was also on me, the

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Speaker 1: two of us. We don't want it. We wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: wanted to do it at a restaurant in the middle

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Speaker 1: of dinner a tink tink or whatever. Obviously sports is

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Speaker 1: out of the question, but you know, at the theater, like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you're you're theater and I'd take you to Harry Potter

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Speaker 1: on Broadway. Still not the place of the time to

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Speaker 1: do it.

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Speaker 2: No, I think what I loved about when we got

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Speaker 2: engaged was that the whole moment was about that. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't about some other event that was going on. It

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Speaker 2: was just about us in a place that we loved,

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Speaker 2: and we had a really romantic weekend that was like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was a perfect weekend, but it was

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Speaker 2: just us together, and there really aren't, Especially when you

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Speaker 2: get busy with life and kids and friends and all that,

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Speaker 2: you kind of look back and realize, oh, it was

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Speaker 2: really valuable to have just a few days that were

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Speaker 2: just about us. Because probably the older I've gotten, the

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Speaker 2: more I realized that as much as you're close to

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Speaker 2: your family and it's important to have great family and

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Speaker 2: great friends and all that, your relationship the two of

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Speaker 2: you is really what has to be like good for

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Speaker 2: it to last. And you can't factor in other people

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Speaker 2: into that.

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Speaker 1: So when you've become all of a sudden, you went

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Speaker 1: from everything being about you and you're still being celebrated,

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Speaker 1: but you've become a host. Now you're hosting everybody. Oh,

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Speaker 1: when your friends are there, when family's there, and so

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Speaker 1: now immediately you're just telling stories that you probably don't

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Speaker 1: want to be telling about. Oh, tell me about the

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Speaker 1: first time y'all kissed or whatever. It's like, you're the

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Speaker 1: vibe changes, and what I liked about when we got

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Speaker 1: engaged was I wanted it to be just about us,

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Speaker 1: in our relationship and our love and just our vibe.

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Speaker 2: Are there any other places you should never propose?

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Speaker 1: I mean, like you said the funeral?

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Speaker 2: Oh you said that.

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Speaker 1: At work? That's a bit. It seems like a really

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Speaker 1: bad place.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, where'd you propose? Conference room?

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Speaker 1: By via zoom? What do you think about holidays? Oh,

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Speaker 1: proposing on Christmas? Proposing on New Year's is a big one.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people want to propose at

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Speaker 1: midnight on New Year's I'm kind of into that. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: you are outcome. Oh no, I just I see it.

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Speaker 1: I see the flipping of a page a new chapter.

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Speaker 1: You know, something you'll always remember is proposing at midnight.

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Speaker 1: We were in Times Square.

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Speaker 2: We'll be honest. I don't like it. Here's why. Okay,

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Speaker 2: whether you propose, we're getting or get married on a holiday.

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Speaker 2: And again, I'm sure people have had great experiences, so

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Speaker 2: shoot me a DM about it. But you do run

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Speaker 2: into the problem of your anniversary, and your memory of

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Speaker 2: that thing is always tied into the other thing. Like

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Speaker 2: if you get married at New Year's then your anniversary

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Speaker 2: is always on New Year's and you're never separating it

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Speaker 2: celebrating it separately. If you propose at Christmas, what you

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Speaker 2: always remember you got engaged on Christmas, but it's never

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Speaker 2: So maybe he proposals a little easier because you're not

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Speaker 2: going to perpetually celebrate the day you got engaged. Your

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Speaker 2: anniversary will become the day you got married. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think getting married, especially on Christmas or New Year's

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Speaker 2: it makes celebrating messy in for sure.

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Speaker 1: But you know, and I'm sure there are plenty of

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Speaker 1: people that would wrap up a gift, you know, and

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Speaker 1: you open it up and it's a ring ah clever,

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Speaker 1: and so I tread I tread lightly in that area.

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Speaker 1: But I just was wondering your thoughts on you know,

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Speaker 1: and look, maybe there's other holidays. Do it on Groundhog Day,

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Speaker 1: do it on ourbor Day. These are days you're not

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Speaker 1: going to have to worry too much about in the future.

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Speaker 1: But I think at the end of the day, the

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Speaker 1: biggest takeaway know that person, Make it about that person.

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Speaker 1: And if you're at someone else's wedding, please make it

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Speaker 1: about them and not you, and if you're going to

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Speaker 1: do it, check in and check in with us time

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Speaker 1: to time. You can always find Laura and I on

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Speaker 1: our social media on Instagram at Lauren Zima at Chris B. Harrison,

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Speaker 1: and always leave us your comments at the Most Dramatic

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Speaker 1: Pod Ever because we always love talking to you. We

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Speaker 1: always enjoy opening up the playbook each and every week.

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Speaker 1: We'll see you next time because we have a lot

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Speaker 1: more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on

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Speaker 1: Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever and make sure

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Speaker 1: to write us a review and leave us five stars.

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Speaker 1: I'll talk to you next time.