Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there. Doesn't matter how.
Speaker 2: Much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: termino and Gaby aid.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 4: You want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?
Speaker 5: Do you.
Speaker 6: Need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need
Speaker 6: a ride? I'm Chris Fairbanks, I'm Karen Tilgara.
Speaker 3: We are leaving. Taco Bell on Sentury Boulevard.
Speaker 2: Taco Bell one of our better sponsors for the Do
Speaker 2: You Need to Ride?
Speaker 1: Podcast? Taco Bell.
Speaker 2: Come park in our parking lot when you have tech
Speaker 2: some tech stuff to set up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Taco Bell, we drive through you. Taco Bell.
Speaker 1: Sawdust more, I've never heard that.
Speaker 3: I've never heard that the meat is has been confused
Speaker 3: for sawdust.
Speaker 1: It's either it's not confused. It's proven it's either sawdust
Speaker 1: or shredded up.
Speaker 3: Icepaper by a food scientists.
Speaker 2: Food scientists said it was it's either the the leavings
Speaker 2: at the bottom of a gerbil cage, or or it's
Speaker 2: a it's from a hobbyist.
Speaker 1: It's the floor of a hobbyist.
Speaker 6: Garage, right right, because sometimes yes, shredded newspaper is used
Speaker 6: with train sets to duplicate gravel.
Speaker 1: Or they painted green and it's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or you get it wet and turn it to gray.
Speaker 6: F Taco Bell meat anyway, Taco Bell one of our
Speaker 6: proud sponsors.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Taco Bell.
Speaker 3: We are coming up on Lax.
Speaker 1: Gorgeous night here to drive to Lax.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like almost it's past dusk, it's almost
Speaker 2: night time, but it's still light blue and a bit
Speaker 2: of smoggy orange right.
Speaker 1: At the horizon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that.
Speaker 6: It's that perfect time where you just don't know quite
Speaker 6: off its night or day or really what you're doing
Speaker 6: with your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you should move away, if you should go
Speaker 2: to the airport and get on a plane and just
Speaker 2: get out of town permanently.
Speaker 6: It's I don't know what my next move in life
Speaker 6: is going to be because of the night time of day.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a beautiful thing to really have to question
Speaker 2: your entire existence just because of the colors that surround,
Speaker 2: and I think it happens a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to say, I don't really like I
Speaker 3: don't like dusk.
Speaker 1: Does that scariot?
Speaker 3: I don't like what it's doing to me?
Speaker 1: Does Is it giving you the sundown?
Speaker 3: What am I doing with my life? Just go down? Son,
Speaker 3: Oh hank right back at you.
Speaker 6: We podcast in the car, So anytime a horn blows,
Speaker 6: you will see me blow my lid.
Speaker 1: And Cris will blow is lid.
Speaker 2: I will read from the novel Horatio Hornblower, just as
Speaker 2: kind of like a wry literary reference.
Speaker 3: Yes so.
Speaker 6: And also to balance out when I'm just screaming racist
Speaker 6: things at cars passing.
Speaker 2: That's the way to balance racism m hm, with boring literature.
Speaker 3: We're picking up Baron Vaughan.
Speaker 1: Hilarious comedian Baron Vaughan, who was in Seattle.
Speaker 6: You say, I think so that's where his flight was
Speaker 6: coming from. I don't know what kind of business he
Speaker 6: had there.
Speaker 1: I love Seattle. You mean comedy. He could have been like, uh,
Speaker 1: buying diamonds.
Speaker 6: Government exactly, blood diamonds. We'll go right into that. Right
Speaker 6: when he gets in the car, We'll.
Speaker 2: Be like, why are you Leonardo DiCaprio specifically asked us
Speaker 2: not to buy these bloodshed You.
Speaker 3: Know how sore these children's fingers are because of you.
Speaker 1: They're exhausted.
Speaker 6: I don't know much about the blood diming diamonding industry,
Speaker 6: the blood diamonding.
Speaker 2: You've got friends in the blood diamond industry. Sorry, I
Speaker 2: just I just knocked my own my.
Speaker 3: Car, got friends? Oh you that's okay?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 6: Sound guys? Love when you tap? Yeah, tap the equipment.
Speaker 1: Tap it, move it around, wear a nice necklace.
Speaker 3: How do we sound?
Speaker 5: Sounding good?
Speaker 3: Okay? Terrific?
Speaker 1: Thank god? And and we're on video?
Speaker 3: You know, I love coming in? Oh? Is that what
Speaker 3: that thing is? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's Do you think that was a raven on your hood?
Speaker 6: I thought I thought it was an Edgar Ellen poebird.
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Bird? Oh have you ever had a pope bird sandwich?
Speaker 3: So great? It reminds me of the South.
Speaker 1: What is his?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: Terminal five Airline, Delta.
Speaker 7: Foxtrot, Delta Alpha, Leo Beta Alpha, Delta flight two four
Speaker 7: one thing.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I trying to make one up.
Speaker 1: Is V Victrola?
Speaker 6: I think I think V is Vic Vega or Victor
Speaker 6: Victor Vega, also a popular full fiction character this happened
Speaker 6: last time at the airport. There's unpredictable traffic.
Speaker 2: I think there's probably nothing more vibrant or electric than
Speaker 2: a podcast that takes place sitting in airport terminal traffic.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is so now, this is so modern, This
Speaker 1: is the way people live. It's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
Speaker 6: Airports are very very new concept. Yes, you're right, is
Speaker 6: that what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm saying the airports are from the eighties everyone,
Speaker 2: They're new to everybody. We all love them, and I
Speaker 2: just I guess what I'm saying is we're in the
Speaker 2: right place at the right time.
Speaker 6: What is this guy saying by merging into three lanes
Speaker 6: at once that he's an idiot?
Speaker 1: He's saying he lives a fear based life.
Speaker 6: Oh yes, self induced fear. Yeah, well, keep living your
Speaker 6: life the way you enjoy it. I don't have to
Speaker 6: be a fan.
Speaker 2: Keep living your life at around twelve miles an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 2: slowly merging in your at a stroke, and he's just
Speaker 2: kind of slipping off.
Speaker 6: I always think that sometimes when I scream at someone
Speaker 6: for the way they're driving, I'm like, well, wait, let's
Speaker 6: hear him out.
Speaker 3: Let's make make sure they aren't having a stroke.
Speaker 1: Let's hear his side of the story. It's only.
Speaker 3: Baron. I think I'm almost certain is doing stand up.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he does that a lot. Very
Speaker 1: funny man, he's very funny.
Speaker 6: He's got an amazing voice. He's speaking and for telling jokes,
Speaker 6: but also singing.
Speaker 1: Right. He played first chair violin in high school.
Speaker 3: I was third trombone.
Speaker 1: No, does that mean that you're not as good?
Speaker 6: I was the worst. It was one out of three.
Speaker 6: I was the worst. I was third. So they really
Speaker 6: do rate you, yes, daily Europe for review, and I
Speaker 6: constantly was maintained my spot in last place.
Speaker 1: I am. I never played in band.
Speaker 2: We didn't have band at my high school, but that
Speaker 2: element of pressure, what I would have been out, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been.
Speaker 3: Able to see. It didn't feel good.
Speaker 2: So people that are in like symphonies, they were first
Speaker 2: chair always.
Speaker 6: You know what I knew the whole time. I wasn't trying.
Speaker 6: I didn't want to be good at trombone. I just said, hey,
Speaker 6: do you have an ear for music? It's an amazing
Speaker 6: year for music, I think they said. I said, Okay,
Speaker 6: I guess I'll play.
Speaker 1: Trombone, the natural reaction. Okay, I'll go straight to trombone.
Speaker 6: My heart wasn't in it a trombone. I wanted to
Speaker 6: be cool. Wait, what are you saying about trombone? Are
Speaker 6: you saying trombones aren't cool?
Speaker 3: That's not it's more of a.
Speaker 1: You are Yeah. Well there that was second share level,
Speaker 1: wrong way.
Speaker 3: Well I might have Yeah, things like that, they just happened,
Speaker 3: it said.
Speaker 6: P five, Yeah, P five. It's not the same as
Speaker 6: there's a chance. There's a chance that I have over
Speaker 6: overshot the and now we're in traffic.
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 6: I wonder if it's a good idea to have a
Speaker 6: podcast that will con g annually take place at a
Speaker 6: place that stresses me out to the point of anger.
Speaker 2: I think it's actually it's almost like a zen uh
Speaker 2: it's work, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You're going You're going into the mouth of the ghost.
Speaker 2: You're right, You're going right into the place where you
Speaker 2: need to work the most.
Speaker 3: Am I because it seems like I'm just stopped at
Speaker 3: the gate?
Speaker 2: Well yeah, but the height of your frustrations, I'm angry
Speaker 2: like traffic.
Speaker 1: You couldn't work on your traffic problem if we were
Speaker 1: moving and.
Speaker 3: My traffic anger issues. You're right.
Speaker 6: The only healing can take place as if I open
Speaker 6: the wound. Yeah, they say that.
Speaker 1: Yes, they say that at an al Kaiser hospital.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 6: Now, now, bite on this piece of leather. I'm going
Speaker 6: to roll down the wind. I'm my air conditioner. I
Speaker 6: do plan on fixing that right for any future productions. Great,
Speaker 6: we should have air conditionings. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: How is your week?
Speaker 1: It was good?
Speaker 3: I was that Pete Holmes showed. You want to talk
Speaker 3: about work?
Speaker 1: Sure, it's fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be fun.
Speaker 2: There's a lot, but there's really great people and that
Speaker 2: makes it really fun.
Speaker 3: It's fun.
Speaker 6: I hang out at home trembling about when the next
Speaker 6: paycheck's coming in.
Speaker 3: Is it different than that?
Speaker 1: There's very similar. There's just more people around.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Baron Von texting saying where are you?
Speaker 5: Broy?
Speaker 1: Read back the text is was it a word for word?
Speaker 1: Did I guess it? Exactly? Where are you?
Speaker 3: Bro On Way also in the middle of the podcast.
Speaker 1: So leave us alone. I can do that texting for
Speaker 1: you if you want.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, Chris has his phone taped to his leg.
Speaker 1: Everybody like Rambo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't. I can't.
Speaker 6: He's very he's very much in the mode of just hey,
Speaker 6: I need a ride. I think he forgot about the
Speaker 6: actual podcast, would he be? He's texting, Yeah, okay, this
Speaker 6: is a red line.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go ahead.
Speaker 1: Let the Porsche go. He's gonna be.
Speaker 5: About all about that.
Speaker 6: This is maybe the biggest production mistake I've ever made.
Speaker 6: It's taking this road. I don't know what this is,
Speaker 6: but it really put a thorn in my crop.
Speaker 1: But then when we.
Speaker 2: Take that thorn out, that's gonna be like the relief
Speaker 2: for everybody. And you just made a great podcast episode.
Speaker 2: You need conflict, you need traffic, you need.
Speaker 3: Things to fight, You need to be distracted and texting.
Speaker 1: You need to be texting.
Speaker 6: If it's not bad enough to text while driving. Add
Speaker 6: a radio production?
Speaker 3: Is that what this is?
Speaker 1: It's an old fashioned radio.
Speaker 3: Like Little or Fannie.
Speaker 6: Yeah, in a minute, I'm gonna punch meat as someone jogs.
Speaker 1: Just right, just like Little or Fannis.
Speaker 3: They were always punching the beef.
Speaker 2: She loves to punch bee ladies and gentlemen. I don't
Speaker 2: have real pair, so I'm going to hit this recipe.
Speaker 3: That's that's what it was all about.
Speaker 2: I can sing like Annie, but it is the most
Speaker 2: irritating gift God gave me.
Speaker 3: It's not the most irritating thing about Annie.
Speaker 6: What I don't like about her giant white eyes, no
Speaker 6: cornea pupil.
Speaker 1: You know why she was She was addicted to PCP,
Speaker 1: and that was it was kind of.
Speaker 2: A subplot of that cartoon that they didn't the censors
Speaker 2: in the twenties made them take out that storyline.
Speaker 1: They just left PCP eyes.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Daddy Warbucks didn't really talk about how he was
Speaker 6: making his money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all drugs that he sold straight to Annie.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's hustling the white horse. He used to kids,
Speaker 6: strapped it to her. He used to put PCP in
Speaker 6: little balloons.
Speaker 3: And they want to tell you, yeah, I mean you
Speaker 3: just said it.
Speaker 2: Annie Mule, Annie Mule, I'll get your hair into you,
Speaker 2: even if you live in the upper Nincela. I remember
Speaker 2: that's remember, Oh, I remember I ate a balloon and.
Speaker 6: They'd pull it out and it'd be in the shape
Speaker 6: of a balloon animal where Okay.
Speaker 3: This is perfect, gotta go left. Did you know this
Speaker 3: is gonna end up perfect?
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 3: Well, that's four.
Speaker 1: That's delta right there. Yeah, you're gonna have to get
Speaker 1: all the way across.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can do it.
Speaker 2: This is where our brand new video element of.
Speaker 1: This podcast is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to capture car wrecks.
Speaker 1: Yes, this huge bus.
Speaker 3: Oh all right, get out of me, buddy.
Speaker 2: Maybe if they think we're a TV show, they'll let
Speaker 2: you emerge.
Speaker 3: Just for the record, I told that guy to get
Speaker 3: out of it.
Speaker 1: Oh the mule.
Speaker 6: Now you know what, this might be one of those
Speaker 6: situations where you got honked at.
Speaker 3: People honk it me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, it might just be nothing's ideal.
Speaker 1: We just tough to work with. The Perfection is the
Speaker 1: enemy of good.
Speaker 6: I mean, if the Subaru Forester wasn't a enough to
Speaker 6: learn about that lady her, I own a pet store. Bangs,
Speaker 6: I don't care. I'm at the airport. I'm yelling out hatred.
Speaker 2: She did turn all the way around and give us
Speaker 2: the dirtiest look just now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I think it was a look like do
Speaker 6: you think I'm happy with these bangs?
Speaker 2: I got these myself when I was drunk on white wine.
Speaker 3: I used hedge clippers.
Speaker 1: I showed him that could call me back.
Speaker 6: I don't think that's who she's interested in romantically. No, no,
Speaker 6: suber Forester, I am gonna hug her bumper.
Speaker 1: Well, she might not like that.
Speaker 3: Is the shuttle.
Speaker 6: A shuttle would lend itself to a vehicle that moves.
Speaker 6: It's hard to shuttle when you're just got your ass parked.
Speaker 6: Come on number six seventy eight.
Speaker 2: Come on old six seventy eight bus shuttle number six eight,
Speaker 2: proud sponsor of do you need a ride the shuttle
Speaker 2: six seventy eight when you don't want to go anywhere?
Speaker 1: Eight? It's kind of you know, that's kind of blank
Speaker 1: patches bit?
Speaker 3: Is it doing it?
Speaker 2: I just realize it right now because the way it's exactly, We'll.
Speaker 3: Have Blaine on and we'll apologize to him.
Speaker 2: Okay, good, he has the best, his best fake advertiser.
Speaker 3: This is a problem. I thought that you're right here.
Speaker 1: Oh good, good, just follow super Forrester.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you see Baron, I.
Speaker 2: Wanted to I wanted to double down on stealing Blaane's joke.
Speaker 6: Do you see Oh I thought you were talking about
Speaker 6: wanting to send I don't know right there.
Speaker 3: No, but confusing him for that guy is racist.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, there's no there's really good way to know that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, recording as well.
Speaker 1: Get in here?
Speaker 5: Yeah, where can I put stuff in the trunk?
Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, I'll open it up.
Speaker 5: You're okay?
Speaker 3: Back there, there's a lot of I'm just gonna put
Speaker 3: on my driving hat.
Speaker 8: I'll probably right there, very little ginger and careful of
Speaker 8: the cameras and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a seven camera shoot.
Speaker 5: I'm noticing that.
Speaker 1: Are you into it?
Speaker 5: Sure? Whatever, Michael Bay How, I'm okay.
Speaker 8: I saw I saw a carp of black Honda pulled
Speaker 8: up and I thought it was you guys because it
Speaker 8: was really crowded, and Nope, just the family waiting for
Speaker 8: this woman who was way too young and attractive to
Speaker 8: have popped out four kids. Oh did you even though
Speaker 8: she looked like she married the Israeli dice?
Speaker 6: The Are you saying that she was in a union
Speaker 6: with the fuzzy dice that we're hanging from the rear
Speaker 6: view mirror?
Speaker 3: No, I mean Andrew, Oh Andrew Dice Clay. Yeah, Well
Speaker 3: he's had a lot of ladies.
Speaker 5: He has well, yeah, especially the Israeli version of him.
Speaker 6: Baron Baron von You're yeah, despite popular I believe you
Speaker 6: are not. You're not related to THEO von No, yeah,
Speaker 6: I already know that. I'm just letting Yeah, his is
Speaker 6: a short. You're not a von Turnikowski, You're not of
Speaker 6: the Theovon von turn theov is from New Orleans.
Speaker 8: Yes, so I always like to joke with him that
Speaker 8: I probably have my last name because his family owned mine.
Speaker 5: That way, it's immediately and.
Speaker 1: What kind of look when he hears.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, unfortunately, not one of horror, It's one of
Speaker 6: shrugging agreement.
Speaker 5: Exactly.
Speaker 3: He's a nice guy and you're even nicer, and we're
Speaker 3: glad you're here.
Speaker 1: Yes, so much.
Speaker 8: You were in Seattle, Yeah, well Kirkland, yes, laughs, yes,
Speaker 8: outside of Seattle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how was it?
Speaker 5: It was actually a really good weekend. I learned some
Speaker 5: stuff like what, well, I.
Speaker 8: You know how you get that you get those bits
Speaker 8: that you're just like you just will not let go of,
Speaker 8: especially and then suddenly you start growing the rest of
Speaker 8: your act out of like.
Speaker 3: This one joke that you love. Yeah, I can I
Speaker 3: can think of a couple of your bits like that.
Speaker 5: Okay, you're going your act out of my jokes?
Speaker 8: Interesting, but I like, I like let go of maybe
Speaker 8: fifteen minutes of material and like retired it. I retired it,
Speaker 8: and I looped in a new twenty just keep going.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he doesn't see anything.
Speaker 3: Jesus.
Speaker 5: Wow, it's kind of.
Speaker 1: Like mad Max this, you got this thing, you got it.
Speaker 3: I feel like Tina Turner with a mutant on her shoulders.
Speaker 2: Wait do you are you saying you have replacement material that's.
Speaker 5: Even better that is now working.
Speaker 8: There's one joke that has been like my white whale
Speaker 8: that I couldn't figure out, and I finally somehow cracked
Speaker 8: it this weekend.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 8: And so I have like a new like twenty minute chunk,
Speaker 8: and I let go of some other stuff that I've
Speaker 8: been holding on, probably the oldest stuff that's in my
Speaker 8: act right now that I've been holding on too.
Speaker 5: So every I felt good about the weekend. It was
Speaker 5: incredibly productive.
Speaker 3: That's terrific.
Speaker 5: Sub camera.
Speaker 3: Now, do you like when you're in Kirkland. Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: one of those clubs where they're like, hey, come do
Speaker 3: comedy in Seattle. But you're not in Seattle.
Speaker 6: You're actually more than an hour away from Seattle, right,
Speaker 6: how about thirty minute drive?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh so I'm off I'm wrong on.
Speaker 5: That, but it's still like it seals the same.
Speaker 6: You're too far to walk and say, hey, there's the
Speaker 6: space Stata exactly.
Speaker 8: I mean, you know what's interesting about it is that
Speaker 8: there's no real proper club in Seattle.
Speaker 5: Proper really.
Speaker 8: There's a place called the Comedy Underground, but everyone seems
Speaker 8: to have like conflicting feelings about it. People don't like
Speaker 8: the management, people don't like the club, people don't like
Speaker 8: the location.
Speaker 5: So it's like LAPS is.
Speaker 8: The only club that has tour Laps in the parlor
Speaker 8: in Bellevue and Bellevue Sea Seattle. Yeah, Seattle, a bustling city,
Speaker 8: Seattle of bustling city.
Speaker 1: It's really weird.
Speaker 5: It's really strange. I really like that. I think we're
Speaker 5: going the wrong way?
Speaker 3: Are we definitely? Where do you live? Oh? Okay, you
Speaker 3: don't want to get on the four o five? And
Speaker 3: then the ten?
Speaker 5: Well we should have gotten the one oh five. I
Speaker 5: think to the one ten.
Speaker 6: Do you want to welcome to another episode of Backseat Drivers,
Speaker 6: the Offshooting Podcast.
Speaker 5: I guess we can go this way.
Speaker 6: What is this?
Speaker 5: Are we heading? Are we on Subulbana or century this century?
Speaker 6: I think, yeah, I'm just kind of it's the it's
Speaker 6: the multitasking that involved.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you just get us lost. Yeah, I honestly, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I've never done the one oh five. We could do that.
Speaker 8: I mean we it goes right out of the airport onto,
Speaker 8: but it's behind us.
Speaker 5: Now, we might as well just go whatever way we're going.
Speaker 8: Okay, you might as well keep driving this way until
Speaker 8: we come back the other side of the world.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's gonna be a good podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never driven before.
Speaker 5: I'm the world an eighty podcast.
Speaker 3: I will with the airport. Yeah, but I don't remember perfect.
Speaker 1: There's some kind of freeway coming up.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is a century we're moving.
Speaker 5: I'm all right anyway.
Speaker 8: I don't have bad shows, and I've gotten to the
Speaker 8: point where I you did.
Speaker 5: I don't care to have bad shows or you No,
Speaker 5: I don't have bad shows. Oh, you just have weird shows.
Speaker 8: Oh okay, I have great shows, good shows or weird shows.
Speaker 8: I don't have a show that's just flat out bad
Speaker 8: where the audience is staring at me and booze.
Speaker 5: But I have them staring at me confused.
Speaker 3: Have you ever done Indian Casino?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: Okay, no, I haven't. You can have bad shows, well, well,
Speaker 5: not anymore. I've had bad shows.
Speaker 8: I'm just saying like, in the last couple of years,
Speaker 8: I've narrowed it down to great, good, and weird.
Speaker 3: Okay, good.
Speaker 5: You don't feel like it's good.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm making progress.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's how you. You wouldn't get booked if you
Speaker 1: had bad shows.
Speaker 5: Exactly right.
Speaker 1: You know what you're doing at this How long been
Speaker 1: doing stand up? Thirteen years?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know you're doing Yeah.
Speaker 6: So it's helping explain my career though, because I'm still
Speaker 6: easily at bad show.
Speaker 1: And how long you've been doing it?
Speaker 3: Sixteen years?
Speaker 1: Sixteen?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I know you said you You said that like
Speaker 8: a therapist.
Speaker 5: I just know what to say.
Speaker 3: It's the hole, yeah sixteen.
Speaker 1: Let's sit with that.
Speaker 5: For this whole more. How does that make you feel?
Speaker 3: Now I'm driving around in a lit up car.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no laughing now, not in our audience. Wait a minute, Yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna get on the four or five, four or five? Yeah,
Speaker 6: that's wouldn't the one oh five eventually take you to.
Speaker 3: The four or five?
Speaker 8: It does, but you you pass it. Oh, you end
Speaker 8: up passing the one oh five, go straight to the
Speaker 8: one tent.
Speaker 3: Should I just go to the one oh five, we'll
Speaker 3: get on south there? It isn't though.
Speaker 5: It is too late, so.
Speaker 2: We're going south though, four or five to the ten right,
Speaker 2: I could get on the you.
Speaker 5: The four or five to the ten?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 5: Does the four or five hit the one ten?
Speaker 8: I think we're already on the I don't know this way.
Speaker 8: Camera McGillicutty is this way, trying not to impose himself,
Speaker 8: but he is shaking his head.
Speaker 5: No a lot. Tell us, okay, this way.
Speaker 1: And then to the one ten and then to the
Speaker 1: one one right.
Speaker 5: Four to one t Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, that's
Speaker 5: Samuel Jacks.
Speaker 6: That was probably the most reviting specifics about freeways that
Speaker 6: in a podcast.
Speaker 5: So well, here's here's a nice little here's a nice
Speaker 5: little uh.
Speaker 3: Do hear that?
Speaker 5: Piece of trivia? For the for the watchers slash listeners.
Speaker 3: We want to why would we? Okay, we want to
Speaker 3: go south? Right? No?
Speaker 1: Feel safe in this car? Do you think like it
Speaker 1: was a good choice?
Speaker 5: Chris behind the wheels. Yeah, I can't go wrong, all right?
Speaker 5: Have you guys been switching it up?
Speaker 3: I'm just depressed that I still have bad shows.
Speaker 8: No, Chris, you don't you don't have bad shows? Don't
Speaker 8: remember what I told you about recording yourself? Uh do
Speaker 8: you record yourself audio?
Speaker 3: No? Not really.
Speaker 5: No, but you got to.
Speaker 8: In the last year, I started recording myself every show
Speaker 8: and I listened to it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Number one, don't you don't hate your own voice.
Speaker 8: No, I hate my own face, Like I can't watch
Speaker 8: your video recording of myself to stand up.
Speaker 5: But the voice, it's like because it makes me listen
Speaker 5: to the material and not what I'm doing. Right, fall
Speaker 5: up your window for sound.
Speaker 1: So it takes a village.
Speaker 5: It takes a village, right.
Speaker 8: Number one, It's never as bad as I think it
Speaker 8: is because I wait, I realized how much time I
Speaker 8: was wasting feeling like crap about a set when really
Speaker 8: I could have learned something from it. And when I
Speaker 8: listened to it, I hear where the laughs actually were
Speaker 8: and what jokes can actually be turned into material, and
Speaker 8: then it's there's Then there's no such thing as a
Speaker 8: bad set, there's just workshop.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 8: And but I realized, like I would beat myself up
Speaker 8: and never learn anything from it and be like, oh,
Speaker 8: why doesn't all this stuff magically work?
Speaker 5: But now I can listen to it and be like
Speaker 5: I can make that work?
Speaker 3: Sure, you know, Yeah, I should do that more.
Speaker 1: I wanted to do that, But I have this weird thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just mebing crazy, but I have this
Speaker 2: thing where when I go to hit record, I think
Speaker 2: it's kind of.
Speaker 1: Like JINX my set. Yeah, I'm going to be self aware.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then thinking about that as opposed to just
Speaker 2: like my Lucy set.
Speaker 5: Well that's why I just record every set.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. And I don't listen to all the standard.
Speaker 8: I don't listen to all of them, and it slip
Speaker 8: record no matter where the show is.
Speaker 5: Well, unless it's going to be a really good show,
Speaker 5: then I don't record it for real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you have the same superstition.
Speaker 8: Well, if it's a really good show, I don't record
Speaker 8: it because I know I'm going to do stuff that
Speaker 8: I know works.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to do anything that's workshopping.
Speaker 6: We knew that this would be a good podcast, So
Speaker 6: actually we're not recording.
Speaker 8: None of this will I don't want to like barn
Speaker 8: He's gonna gonna drop some gems on us.
Speaker 3: Did the Owner's Dave?
Speaker 5: Is it? Yeah?
Speaker 6: David David and le Dennison Stevin is on his floor
Speaker 6: in his apartment.
Speaker 5: Did I stay on his floor in his apartment?
Speaker 3: I had to stand on his floor in his apartment? What,
Speaker 3: yeah is that? I don't know.
Speaker 5: That's frightening and.
Speaker 6: I think I said something about it and I haven't
Speaker 6: been there since in laughs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, there's like a hotel. Yeah I knew that.
Speaker 3: I said the guy's name.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Why am I on the floor of your apartment, you
Speaker 5: asked demurely.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 3: I think it was so they could take me to radio.
Speaker 3: Did you have to do radio? Do you enjoy doing radio?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 8: I didn't have to do I don't do radio with laughs,
Speaker 8: which is surprising, Okay, I always do. I don't like
Speaker 8: doing it, and I don't understand why. I mean, like,
Speaker 8: I don't like getting up number one right, number two?
Speaker 8: Who is listening to the radio at six am?
Speaker 3: Have you ever yet?
Speaker 5: And it's going to be like, you know what, I
Speaker 5: will go to that show tonight.
Speaker 6: I've never I have many times during a show taken
Speaker 6: a poll of the audience and said how many people
Speaker 6: are here because of the radio at six am this morning?
Speaker 6: And never once has a hand been raised exactly maybe
Speaker 6: that's why.
Speaker 1: They didn't ask you back. Maybe pulling the audience all
Speaker 1: the time there's a.
Speaker 5: Slim extend up comedy or a gallop pole or.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't know why they didn't.
Speaker 6: I think I maybe something is it's something that slapped
Speaker 6: around a way drift there.
Speaker 2: So if you if you were, you were in Kirkland
Speaker 2: the whole time.
Speaker 1: So did you just like go to the movies? What
Speaker 1: did you do?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 8: I actually have a couple of friends in Seattle that
Speaker 8: came out to Kirkland to see me. I went into
Speaker 8: Seattle one day. Mister Harri Kondobolu was doing a theater
Speaker 8: in Seattle proper, so I ended up getting to see
Speaker 8: him for five seconds using the Neptune seven.
Speaker 5: Hundred seat and sold it out.
Speaker 8: Oh shit, yeah, pretty incredible.
Speaker 1: That's very cool.
Speaker 8: And then I randomly ran into Joe Mandy and Disease
Speaker 8: and Sorry today as I was leaving Fun because they
Speaker 8: had a show in Seattle tonight, and I was like, okay,
Speaker 8: that's great. It was it was Greg Gray Holiday.
Speaker 3: That is you ran you ran into them in the city.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I went into the city too because my my flight
Speaker 8: was late, as you know, so I went in to
Speaker 8: meet up with the friend from high school and we
Speaker 8: went to the place that Joe was standing outside of.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, and he saw me.
Speaker 8: He's like Barren, I'm like, Joe's crazy, and I guess
Speaker 8: Azs is up there.
Speaker 5: So Joe's opening for Asease.
Speaker 8: And you like coach Joe guys, you like hanging out
Speaker 8: with those guys. Well, I have never really hung out
Speaker 8: with Disease, but Joe.
Speaker 5: Yes, sure, Joe.
Speaker 3: I know from Boston.
Speaker 1: Actually, Oh I love Joe Mandy. He's hilarious.
Speaker 6: Okay, Yeah, Boston or Austin Boston.
Speaker 3: That's odd. That happens a lot. Huh. Yeah, I'm from Austin.
Speaker 5: Well, only Austin comics do that.
Speaker 3: I've never been to Boston. Yes, Boston and comics. No,
Speaker 3: not to do it to Austin Papo because they're Boston comics.
Speaker 3: Never assume it's okay, gotcha?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I said where are you from? Originally?
Speaker 5: Vegas?
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 8: Vegas? Born in New Mexico, moved to Vegas and I
Speaker 8: was like six or seven.
Speaker 3: You're the most healthy person I've ever met from Vegas.
Speaker 5: Because I left it.
Speaker 8: You didn't say yeah, whatever, Perhaps there's stays there if
Speaker 8: people take that to heart.
Speaker 6: Anyone I knew that grew up in Vegas they have
Speaker 6: their stories are about cigarettes when they were fourteen that
Speaker 6: were dipped in some sort of liquid acid, and then
Speaker 6: their their.
Speaker 3: Mother was like a cocktail waitress at a.
Speaker 6: Strip club Jesus Christ and their friend murdered someone and
Speaker 6: it was on some HBO documentary. These are different people
Speaker 6: I know from Vegas.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I kind of cut my head down. Honestly. It
Speaker 5: was things too. I think my grandmother a lot.
Speaker 3: Well, no, you keep your chin up.
Speaker 5: No, no, I just mean, like, oh I my chin up.
Speaker 5: I kept my head down a neighborhood that I was in, Oh, okay,
Speaker 5: so as to not get in trouble.
Speaker 6: I thought you meant like at school you spent a
Speaker 6: lot of time snoozing or playing seven up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely in quarters to keep your head down because
Speaker 2: you were first chair violin.
Speaker 5: You know what, I don't even remember if I if
Speaker 5: I got the first chair.
Speaker 3: We do suggest going to one on one or doing
Speaker 3: the ten.
Speaker 5: I think, uh, do the ten, okay, the ten will
Speaker 5: go to the five. Yeah, I definitely go to ten.
Speaker 5: This is not good traffic.
Speaker 6: No, the old That's one thing about living here. I
Speaker 6: thought you grew up in Los Angeles. I don't know
Speaker 6: why you didn't spend any time as a child here.
Speaker 5: Not until I moved here three years ago. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 5: New York, Boston and New York.
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe it was one of your stage rifts.
Speaker 5: I think that you.
Speaker 1: Start get off the freeway. Remember that accident.
Speaker 5: Well there was an accident, Yes, yeah, accident.
Speaker 6: Ways.
Speaker 3: I do mention.
Speaker 6: People say ways a lot, but I it ends up
Speaker 6: filling with everything except downloading that app.
Speaker 5: You mean living your life? Yeah, yeah, living your life?
Speaker 1: Do you have it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is it good?
Speaker 8: I'm very good at it, really, I'm like in the
Speaker 8: top one percent in this state.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, is it like a game like it does?
Speaker 8: You can earn points because of how much you drive,
Speaker 8: and you can also mark things like accidents, cars on
Speaker 8: the road, police, traps, potholes, weather, animals, and like roadkill animals. Well,
Speaker 8: there's one one time I was in the South and
Speaker 8: I was driving, and I and it was like animals
Speaker 8: up ahead and like animals, And then I got it.
Speaker 8: There there's a freaking deer right there in the side
Speaker 8: of the road, eating freaking glass road grass roads.
Speaker 3: I wish you said glass glass.
Speaker 6: I would love to see a deer just eating a
Speaker 6: little road glass deer.
Speaker 5: Just a deer that has to prove what a bad
Speaker 5: ass is.
Speaker 6: Yeah, deer with an eye patch or doesn't care that.
Speaker 6: I was glad she got shot by hunters.
Speaker 3: Oh that was my That was my old lady.
Speaker 8: Have been the same since anyway. They call the old
Speaker 8: man diagens deir Jenkins. I don't talk about anymore.
Speaker 6: Which which show did you find there was a show
Speaker 6: that was the best show?
Speaker 8: Yes, the late night Friday Show was my best show.
Speaker 8: Maybe I even felt like the best set I've ever had.
Speaker 8: It's great, like in my like the strongest, clearest hour.
Speaker 8: All the jokes were lucid.
Speaker 5: Every punchline hit. The audience was hanging on my every word.
Speaker 3: They're nice people there.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 8: The Saturday shows were weird though, So I had my
Speaker 8: greatest show ever late Friday. Then the Saturday shows they
Speaker 8: were just kind of.
Speaker 6: Do you remember this famous whatever Steve Martin quote where
Speaker 6: he said I quit there and stand up because of
Speaker 6: the blank late show?
Speaker 5: Was it Saturday?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's usually the Saturday or Friday.
Speaker 3: I for me, it's always different which show it's.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like the late shows are always harder.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Are you sure you didn't quit because you became a
Speaker 6: famous movie star Steve Martin?
Speaker 5: Well, ka waka. I think it was a joke.
Speaker 2: I you know what's funny is I?
Speaker 1: Oh, it was agree? I agree those those shows are harder.
Speaker 1: But I really found when I was doing lots of.
Speaker 4: Clubs that I started to love the br the bachelorette
Speaker 4: parties that everyone else feared and hated so much because
Speaker 4: I could get them. And then when you get those disruptive,
Speaker 4: self centered assholes and they start loving everything you say,
Speaker 4: it's like the ultimate power.
Speaker 5: Yeah, be friends feeling.
Speaker 8: And you know, I actually think on the early Saturday
Speaker 8: show there were these young girls in the front eighteen.
Speaker 8: I think because the first show is like eighteen and over,
Speaker 8: second shows twenty one and over, right, And I think
Speaker 8: that when there's really young people or really old people
Speaker 8: in plain sight of the rest of the audience, they
Speaker 8: are there spend the whole time wondering if they should
Speaker 8: be offended for them, right or.
Speaker 5: Scared for them? Oh? Is this al?
Speaker 3: I mean there's surface streets all right.
Speaker 8: This is kind of amazing because I don't know. Driving
Speaker 8: from the airport is so stressful.
Speaker 6: Yeah, in just the airport in itself is a mess,
Speaker 6: and we made he decided to capture it in the video.
Speaker 6: It seemed like a good time at Palms. It seemed
Speaker 6: like a good idea as far as getting something for
Speaker 6: us to do it. My brakes are also giving out. Well, yeah,
Speaker 6: I forgot that driving just makes me stressed, angry at society.
Speaker 6: When I did your podcast, we talked about anger. Literally,
Speaker 6: don't to be sure to turn your life. Oh wait,
Speaker 6: at some point, I'm going to fix the air conditioning.
Speaker 6: I'd like to apologize to everyone for.
Speaker 3: How hot we all are right now. It's I thought
Speaker 3: it was because it was nighttime that but we got
Speaker 3: lights in.
Speaker 8: Here, get lights in here. I'm wearing two coats, right.
Speaker 8: They just came back from.
Speaker 3: Seattle and.
Speaker 5: Rain. See that's what I can't stand the rain. Are you?
Speaker 3: I love a rainy night? Were you sleepless a little bit?
Speaker 3: I like all the Seattle jokes you can. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't have any jokes about kirk Kirkland.
Speaker 5: They're just they have a water brand. There's a water
Speaker 5: and they.
Speaker 1: Make fleeces that are at costco.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, they make signature jeans, Balkans, signature jeans, winter tires,
Speaker 6: and muffins I.
Speaker 1: Wonder and delicious birthday cakes.
Speaker 3: I wonder if in this podcast brought you.
Speaker 1: What do you need?
Speaker 6: We make it acast brought to you by a popular
Speaker 6: blame capatch jokes joke.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well we gave him credit.
Speaker 5: He's a very funny man.
Speaker 3: That's how he's sponsoring.
Speaker 1: Is this his talent is sponsoring this podcast?
Speaker 5: Sponsored blank Patch blank Patch.
Speaker 6: When you don't want to know It's age looked the
Speaker 6: same the whole time I've known him.
Speaker 5: Of those guys. Yeah, we gotta get in this left lean. Okay,
Speaker 5: we're gonna let this person.
Speaker 3: How about I kill you? All right? Wow? God, I
Speaker 3: love driving.
Speaker 6: Last time I was in Kirkland, I was on stage
Speaker 6: and you know they have that green room that everyone
Speaker 6: who works in the kitchen changes in.
Speaker 5: I don't go in there. I just hang out in
Speaker 5: the back of the room. That groen is groady. Yeah,
Speaker 5: but yes, I know the green room talking.
Speaker 6: It seemed like every time I've been there at a
Speaker 6: sore throat or sick or something nursing something. It just
Speaker 6: happened to be the last two times I went there.
Speaker 3: I was sick.
Speaker 6: Maybe that's why they don't have me back. But I
Speaker 6: someone I think that someone that works there or someone
Speaker 6: from the audience went into the green room on the
Speaker 6: way to the bathroom stole my wallet while I was
Speaker 6: on stage and opened it. And it's like, oh, that's
Speaker 6: the comedian that's telling jokes right now. Yeah, I gotta
Speaker 6: have to I'm gonna have to steal his wallet. And
Speaker 6: then they during the show filled three different cars with
Speaker 6: gas at a gas station what across the street. And uh,
Speaker 6: because right when I got off stage, I went in
Speaker 6: there and I'm like, my wallet's gone. So I called
Speaker 6: my bank and they said, yeah, it's already filled up
Speaker 6: three different cars like that guy just got to it.
Speaker 6: And then a policeman came and he said, yeah, I
Speaker 6: started chasing a Mustang, but I didn't want to go
Speaker 6: that fast in city limits.
Speaker 3: So he let the guy go.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's really a specific quest for you.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it wasn't actually nice.
Speaker 3: It's scary with lights in the car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this must be insane.
Speaker 3: It is insane.
Speaker 1: It's it's a little bit crazy.
Speaker 8: Hey, guys, future reference, don't do this at night. I
Speaker 8: think all the natural daylight First of all, it's good
Speaker 8: for people's complexions. Second of all, it's great for people's complexions.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're right, because right now, just taking
Speaker 3: this turn here so much backsweat just because I'm not
Speaker 3: sure what's going to happen. Okay, now we're in the
Speaker 3: flow of traffic.
Speaker 6: I'm glad we had that little new tour because it's
Speaker 6: been a while since I've checked out the motor area.
Speaker 1: It was gorgeous.
Speaker 3: It was beautiful, especially at what is this twilight.
Speaker 1: Nighttime?
Speaker 5: Yeah, straight up night time, it's twilight time.
Speaker 2: Oh, we're going to talk about the Eliza Skinners improve
Speaker 2: Music Show.
Speaker 3: Yes, you were terrific during that, as were you, Chris?
Speaker 5: We as were you?
Speaker 3: Wasn't that interesting? How scary that was?
Speaker 5: All of us were terrified and then somehow killed it.
Speaker 6: Just a stand up show with a piano accompaniment. Yeah,
Speaker 6: and uh, and it turns out we all like to
Speaker 6: get the songs right.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Also, it was like, it's interesting when that happens because
Speaker 8: it's just like, I think we were all kind of
Speaker 8: a little afraid to trust ourselves.
Speaker 5: Yes, personally, I loved what Guy Brandham did, which was
Speaker 5: it was absurd. Yeah, the Martinians sitting.
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm not gonna sing. I'm just gonna do
Speaker 3: this lounge.
Speaker 5: Character, like the thing you're born to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was great.
Speaker 1: Wait, now what did you do?
Speaker 6: I picked from pieces of paper and a fish bowl
Speaker 6: and did little song, did a little song stun whatever
Speaker 6: someone had written and it was terrifying.
Speaker 1: So oh sorry, so fun so like the name of
Speaker 1: the song is in the fish bowl.
Speaker 8: And then the fid wrote, people wrote, there's two things
Speaker 8: that can happen. People wrote suggestions before the show started,
Speaker 8: and uh, Eliza put them all in a little bowl
Speaker 8: that if we felt the meat too, we could pick
Speaker 8: a suggestion.
Speaker 5: Out and that was the title of the song that
Speaker 5: we were gonna sing.
Speaker 8: Or whilst you're doing your act, the piano player would
Speaker 8: just start playing under your jokes and you had to
Speaker 8: turn the rest of your bit into a song.
Speaker 6: That's so if you pull on a piece of paper
Speaker 6: and it says swash buckling penguin, you'd.
Speaker 3: Sing a song like this, go baron, I have boom boom.
Speaker 5: Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Well there's
Speaker 5: a penguin. I know, and he lives on a ship.
Speaker 5: He's a squash buckln penguin. He's got a sword and
Speaker 5: a musket so hip. He's a swash buckling penguin. Big
Speaker 5: on aero fling Win Big.
Speaker 8: On aero Linguin because he's a swash buckling penguin.
Speaker 5: I'm kind of impressed.
Speaker 1: By clearly at the top of your game right now.
Speaker 6: It was almost I was almost excited to get in
Speaker 6: a car wreck during that. If the last thing you
Speaker 6: hear is swashbuckling penguin Errol Flynnin I got to do
Speaker 6: that show.
Speaker 1: That sounds so fun.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's actually really fun.
Speaker 3: That was just a taste of it.
Speaker 5: Do you have time to do shows anymore?
Speaker 4: I do sometimes retirement from standy No, I hope not
Speaker 4: quite the opposite.
Speaker 2: But I've been doing shows lately, except for this past week.
Speaker 2: I had to cancel almost every show I had books.
Speaker 1: It's just when we when we no no, it's like.
Speaker 5: I think maybe it was a show I was at.
Speaker 5: Yeah that you had to cancel. Yeah, she's busy. Nobody
Speaker 5: was taking it personally.
Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of the good part.
Speaker 2: I remember one time I did cancel on Jim Hamilton
Speaker 2: and he wrote back, because I had to stay in
Speaker 2: New York long than I thought I had, and so
Speaker 2: I sent him this really long apologetic message about because
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry and I really wanted to be here.
Speaker 1: He wrote back, Oh, no, period, What will I do?
Speaker 1: How will I find a comedian? And awsome? It's just like, wow,
Speaker 1: that hurts.
Speaker 2: Oh that no Western charm, But I always think of
Speaker 2: that where it's like, yeah, I don't want to let
Speaker 2: people down or whatever, but at the same time, there's
Speaker 2: always twelve people.
Speaker 6: It's funny that we're talking about this because I'm skipping
Speaker 6: a show right now.
Speaker 5: Are you.
Speaker 3: It's well, it started at eight? What show it's was
Speaker 3: that Bordeners.
Speaker 5: It's called the.
Speaker 3: That's what I said, Rory Scovel some other people.
Speaker 5: I have no idea.
Speaker 3: What's yeah me either. Maybe it's a show you don't
Speaker 3: know about.
Speaker 5: I think I was just to do the show tonight,
Speaker 5: but I never heard anything about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well maybe.
Speaker 8: Tonight and I I, well, there's no tweet, tweets about it,
Speaker 8: no Facebook invite.
Speaker 5: You never know from Jazz. I'm like, get some standing.
Speaker 6: Yoe sometimes, isn't it funny to get all these gigs
Speaker 6: and then they're coming in from Facebook things, they're coming
Speaker 6: in from tweets, they're coming in from actual traditional emails.
Speaker 6: God forbid someone call you and ask you to do something.
Speaker 6: So I have this little calendar and it says show
Speaker 6: tonight location. Then I write down the the the avenue
Speaker 6: it came to me, like Facebook or Twitter or right,
Speaker 6: so then I can.
Speaker 8: Look it up right, and I do the same thing.
Speaker 8: But I never She always tweets heavily about what the
Speaker 8: lineup is. But I saw nothing, So I'm like, maybe
Speaker 8: it's canceled.
Speaker 5: I don't know what this is going on, So I'm
Speaker 5: gonna go home.
Speaker 1: I have to take a wind break.
Speaker 5: Yeah, take a break.
Speaker 3: That would be the best. If you said that.
Speaker 5: Horrible car all I think all you did was unlock
Speaker 5: the doors.
Speaker 8: Sorry, so please lock them back so we don't accidentally
Speaker 8: fall Outka roll this one down.
Speaker 5: Even has the camera on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, quick wind break.
Speaker 8: I want to stick my tongue out and put my
Speaker 8: head out the thing like those with those things called.
Speaker 5: Those family animals. That's been something I've been wanting to
Speaker 5: do lately.
Speaker 3: Get a dog.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I too, have never been in my brain, and
Speaker 8: now I'm like, I think i'd like to have, Like,
Speaker 8: I haven't had a dog for a really long time.
Speaker 5: All of my dogs got killed and then I switched
Speaker 5: to caps.
Speaker 3: They who murdered all your dogs?
Speaker 5: Actually two of them were killed by the same woman.
Speaker 3: In a car.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they both jumped the fence.
Speaker 8: Oh no, at the same time, like literally at like
Speaker 8: five fifteen, when she was coming home from work, and
Speaker 8: like they both jumped the fence and got hit by
Speaker 8: the same woman on the same block.
Speaker 3: The same car, in the same moment.
Speaker 5: Same car. No, no different, a year apart from each other.
Speaker 3: No, that horrified with herself.
Speaker 5: She was it's not her fault. She was just going
Speaker 5: home from work and the dogs jumped the fence. And
Speaker 5: this is back in New Mexico.
Speaker 3: This happened twice.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's terrible, and that's why I was like, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna stay away from dogs. Ooh, and then there's the
Speaker 5: really sad one. We can go there, you want me
Speaker 5: to go there. So in Zo, I was raised with
Speaker 5: my great grandparents. Long story. Mom had me when she
Speaker 5: was nineteen. Great grandparents are like.
Speaker 8: You shouldn't have sex beyond marriage, and my grandmother's like,
Speaker 8: you should have had an abortion. So you can see
Speaker 8: the difference of progressive and progressive of them there. And
Speaker 8: so my great grandparents had me and we were in
Speaker 8: New Mexico, and my great grandfather had this little like
Speaker 8: little restaurant kind of snack store, like kids would come
Speaker 8: in there and buy, you know, cookies and chips and candies,
Speaker 8: and he also like made like hot dogs and and
Speaker 8: and burgers.
Speaker 3: Do you sometimes sing to the kids like in Willie Walcott?
Speaker 5: Yeah, bing bing bing ban like that.
Speaker 8: But right across the street was just this giant farm
Speaker 8: and just like really tall wheat grass you couldn't really see,
Speaker 8: and it's just this open field.
Speaker 5: And I had this one dog and I hadn't seen
Speaker 5: him all day, and I was wondering why.
Speaker 8: And then I would in that store and I saw
Speaker 8: my great grandmother across the street in the grass and
Speaker 8: had never seen her over there.
Speaker 3: I was like, what was she doing?
Speaker 8: And I had this little ice cream cone that I'd
Speaker 8: gotten out of the store. And then yeah, one ten North,
Speaker 8: that's do not go to Sam Peters.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to point into camera. O.
Speaker 5: So she was there like digging in the grass doing it,
Speaker 5: and I came outside.
Speaker 8: I remember looking at her, looking my little ice cream cone,
Speaker 8: and then she stood up and she picked up the
Speaker 8: body of my dog, who I guess had been hidden
Speaker 8: by hit by a car on that street, and he
Speaker 8: crawled over to the side of the street I.
Speaker 5: Guess to die in peace, but he was there.
Speaker 8: She picked up his body and he was all bloody
Speaker 8: and blood in his fur, and she's kind of laid
Speaker 8: it in front of me and licking the freaking ice
Speaker 8: cream off of the cone and just crying my eyes.
Speaker 5: I watched the lifely.
Speaker 3: Stopped licking the ice cream. That's a curious joice.
Speaker 5: Well, I didn't know what. Yeah, I was like, maybe
Speaker 5: that's why I don't like ice cream. Maybe maybe that's
Speaker 5: why I'm never like, yeah I love ice creams that
Speaker 5: never have had it hankering for ice cream ever again again.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's sex has ruined for me because my cat
Speaker 6: died while I was mastering.
Speaker 5: So you just what you're saying is you destroyed the pussy.
Speaker 5: You destroyed the pussy. Why I came from the land
Speaker 5: of Kirk's.
Speaker 3: I'm pushing camerons. They can't handle me in Kirkland. That's
Speaker 3: why it's been since two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1: You really hung up? Should should we visit this.
Speaker 5: No, I'm not a day I think that you you
Speaker 5: can probably go back there if you wanted to.
Speaker 3: I could ask to go back.
Speaker 5: You don't want to. I don't want That's also the
Speaker 5: other thing. You don't want to go back. That's the
Speaker 5: other thing.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do a show across the way at the
Speaker 3: Liquid Lime.
Speaker 8: Yeah, because the Bellevue, the Parlor place seems to be
Speaker 8: totally corporate. They booked no local acts. Well, they have
Speaker 8: a feature and a headliner come in from out of town. Sure,
Speaker 8: Plus Bellevue seems really douchey. It's like rich programmers, but
Speaker 8: like the ones that you know raped someone in college.
Speaker 8: That's who it is that's living there, and they got
Speaker 8: away with it because their dad is important.
Speaker 1: They always gets on the lake and.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah lake and have lake houses.
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sorry about your dog that died by the way.
Speaker 6: I didn't mean to make a joke about that.
Speaker 5: No, it's fine, sad story. It's honestly, I feel like
Speaker 5: it was.
Speaker 8: There's something old school about it, Like my great grandmother
Speaker 8: wasn't like I'm gonna hide this death of this dog.
Speaker 5: She brought it to me, let me watch, so I
Speaker 5: knew life ends yeah, my son, and so does ice
Speaker 5: cream that happen.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you'd just be fat because of ice cream. There,
Speaker 6: you'd be a big fat sweet.
Speaker 8: If they'd call me Icy mccream and I see, i'd
Speaker 8: probably need the best pool player in all of Minnesota.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there have no choice with that. Nime not nime
Speaker 3: o Green.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 8: Somebody had a joke the other day. Somebody had a
Speaker 8: joke that I can't remember who it was. I feel
Speaker 8: like it's someone like very Rothbart or somebody that had
Speaker 8: some jokes.
Speaker 5: It was like, maybe it was you, Chris.
Speaker 8: No, there's some some there's a joy in beating someone
Speaker 8: at pool that came with their own poolstick.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well you.
Speaker 5: Have to watch them kind of.
Speaker 6: I've experienced that with darts. Some guy came with darts
Speaker 6: with his own tips and his own little.
Speaker 5: And he's serious about it.
Speaker 8: And then you beat him and he's like angrily putting
Speaker 8: all his Oh I've played a lot of darts.
Speaker 5: This is awkward. We were supposed to be in the
Speaker 5: left lane here.
Speaker 3: Nah that I'll be fine. So we we're basically going
Speaker 3: like I'll just get on the.
Speaker 5: Old now we're going downtown.
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it? Man?
Speaker 6: What else?
Speaker 5: This is just obnoxious that this fricking three ways like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they come back out somehow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, hopefully everyone knows to do hey oh yeah, everyone
Speaker 6: else goes where all the traffic is right there. Yes,
Speaker 6: I do this because there's fewer cars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, beautiful box, put it in my hands.
Speaker 5: I yeah, I do.
Speaker 3: Wonder what happens in all these buildings.
Speaker 6: Is that like when you're driving around l A and
Speaker 6: you see all these giant houses where millionaires live.
Speaker 3: Do they all work in these tall buildings? Is that
Speaker 3: where rich people?
Speaker 5: Maybe?
Speaker 3: I'm always confused.
Speaker 5: I think they just own things.
Speaker 3: How people work?
Speaker 5: We should get all the way to the left for
Speaker 5: the five north Okay, you know in seven lanes and
Speaker 5: five seconds like it does in Los.
Speaker 1: Angeles, like you are expected to do.
Speaker 5: Yes, well you got it. Wow, this is actual pretty
Speaker 5: incress of Chris. Impressive.
Speaker 3: It is impressive because I did.
Speaker 8: Say impressive, but my brain was like, you mean Chris?
Speaker 8: My brain was like, google right there, impressive? Did you
Speaker 8: mean Chris Fairbanks?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 3: You missed I think five earthquakes since you've been gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Speaker 8: Well, actually I saw on some Twitter that somebody was
Speaker 8: like so and so followed la earthquake alert.
Speaker 5: It was like some Twitter that tweets every earthquake. And
Speaker 5: I looked at it and I'm like, there's been a
Speaker 5: earthquakes the last day. What's happened?
Speaker 3: Isn't that scary?
Speaker 2: The one, the most recent one was really big, but
Speaker 2: it was where I lived. It was not loud at all,
Speaker 2: like my dogs do not wake up. So I just
Speaker 2: thought I had gotten really dizzy and it freaked me out.
Speaker 1: And it was long. It was like more than a minute,
Speaker 1: I think. So I just sat there going, am I
Speaker 1: do I have vertigo? It was super weird. And then
Speaker 1: I looked down and saw it was like the blanket
Speaker 1: was swinging back and yeah, yeah, understood activity.
Speaker 3: It scares me.
Speaker 6: Yeah, isn't it a good thing? You always heard that?
Speaker 6: A little tiny earthquakes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they released the pressure.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, a great earthquake is just album?
Speaker 5: Is that earthquake just like an earth fart?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 5: Yeah, the earth is a little gas, right, So it's good,
Speaker 5: said somebody.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Otherwise everything takes a giant, giant, messy ship and we
Speaker 3: all die.
Speaker 5: Right, that's what a volcano was.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, it's real hot ship all the every This
Speaker 6: whole time, I didn't realize how scared I was to
Speaker 6: drive in a car with the potential of an earthquake
Speaker 6: because I just think about lowest lane falling into that trend.
Speaker 8: Yeah, hey, yeah, maybe Christopher Evel will show up and scream,
Speaker 8: oh we are getting this left lane fly backwards.
Speaker 6: We only have three miles. Here we go and yeah,
Speaker 6: we're almost to my place. Actually, this is great. I'm
Speaker 6: glad we took this route.
Speaker 1: It was perfect.
Speaker 3: It was it was what we were meant to do.
Speaker 1: Any upcoming shows you're excited about?
Speaker 5: When is this gonna be? Yeah, going up?
Speaker 1: Probably December or so.
Speaker 8: I do have some upcoming shows I'm excited about. I'm
Speaker 8: just uh, it's not until, like I feel like I'm not.
Speaker 8: I have a college this weekend in Texas Curville, Currville, Currville,
Speaker 8: which we'll see how that goes.
Speaker 5: What do I have coming up? Some club dates, but
Speaker 5: that's not until like the after the summer. I'm excited
Speaker 5: about Bridgetown, which is gonna be made.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm taking Bridgetown off this year.
Speaker 5: A lot of people are, but they also didn't. They
Speaker 5: also didn't.
Speaker 8: Recept a lot of people back like people who they accepted,
Speaker 8: like a hundred new people who've never done it.
Speaker 3: Oh good, that's good. I think it is good. I
Speaker 3: think it's good they aren't having me back. I was
Speaker 3: really starting to spin you all back up there in Portland.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's what I got going on. Kind I
Speaker 5: think that auditioning is over for me as a concept.
Speaker 8: Yes, yes, I I don't know that I'm going to
Speaker 8: fit into anything that anyone else has thought of. So
Speaker 8: two years in a row where Hollywood is like America
Speaker 8: doesn't believe you exist.
Speaker 1: So are you going to write something?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 8: I mean I feel like it's the only thing that
Speaker 8: I can do is write something for myself. I guess
Speaker 8: and see if somebody is interested in it.
Speaker 5: But it's like, because.
Speaker 8: Auditioning it's so time consuming and I'm never prepared because
Speaker 8: there's always so many yes, and nobody that isn't an
Speaker 8: actor doesn't get that you actually need to sound like
Speaker 8: a human being when you're saying these lines right right,
Speaker 8: And it's like everyone is people are getting cast off
Speaker 8: of half assed auditions essentially, and then the shows aren't
Speaker 8: good weird.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I'm I did not do that this year,
Speaker 6: but it wasn't my choice, just like laughs, I just
Speaker 6: don't have Yeah, any kind of representative understand it, but
Speaker 6: I like it that way.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Also, it's the most painful, like the amount of time
Speaker 2: you can spend doing anything.
Speaker 1: It's the worst. It's always the worst people and the
Speaker 1: worst feeling. And the lines are poorly written, and it's
Speaker 1: so badly written.
Speaker 8: Yeah, when they're like, let's give this person a three
Speaker 8: page scene in which there's only two lines and it just.
Speaker 2: Doesn't track in any way, and then it's like, somehow
Speaker 2: it's on you.
Speaker 1: You're not good enough to make that make sense.
Speaker 5: Well I think that honestly.
Speaker 8: To do it all in one foul swoop, for every
Speaker 8: show and every channel and every actor and casting director
Speaker 8: in this freaking city.
Speaker 5: Makes no sense.
Speaker 8: It's just a giant everyone's at giant ball of annoyed
Speaker 8: anxious stress.
Speaker 3: Do I get on?
Speaker 8: I no, stay on the five k, get off of
Speaker 8: the two, don't go on the two, don't go on
Speaker 8: the two?
Speaker 3: Okay, gotcha?
Speaker 5: And then also like watching an watching three hundred.
Speaker 8: People see the exact same words, it's not gonna help
Speaker 8: you tell people apart, no, right, Yeah, honestly, they should
Speaker 8: do it like theater if you do, didn't even do
Speaker 8: it anymore.
Speaker 5: But like people should just be able to come in
Speaker 5: with their own monologues and uh, showcase themselves. Then you
Speaker 5: give them the sides when it's to call back.
Speaker 8: But I guarantee you from the first edition they would
Speaker 8: narrow it down to a key people would take less
Speaker 8: less time.
Speaker 5: I bet you.
Speaker 6: Wouldn't it be great if we kind of took over
Speaker 6: all the decision making and it wasn't left to people
Speaker 6: that were just communications majors that like to compartmentalize talent
Speaker 6: like these just like all the ladies and dudes that
Speaker 6: weren't get Comedy Central that have no sense of humor
Speaker 6: and they're like, we're gonna use this guy.
Speaker 5: We're gonna cut this right.
Speaker 1: It's just.
Speaker 3: People that like, no, I hate Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: They but they also just they undercut the intelligence of
Speaker 2: the public. So it's always like they would never get that.
Speaker 2: But I really feel like that's kind of going to
Speaker 2: the wayside now with all the like Netflix and Cable
Speaker 2: and all the restuff, mad Men whatever, where it's almost
Speaker 2: like the the intelligence of the average person is starting
Speaker 2: to like fight back, you know.
Speaker 5: I think so I kind of I just.
Speaker 3: I've chosen to look at it that way. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: and one day smart people will prevail and.
Speaker 1: They not all the TV they want.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, see It's okay to have mom pauses. I'm
Speaker 3: exhausted from driving. You are, are you guys scared?
Speaker 5: Exactly?
Speaker 3: Scary? Right, I'm not scary. Horrible could have happened.
Speaker 5: Not over. We're still on the freeway, on the freeway
Speaker 5: telling my friend where where we're going to go? Have
Speaker 5: some food? Heard of it?
Speaker 1: What exit is yours?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Great to know? Yeah yeah, now.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, because you're by the House of eyes.
Speaker 3: Oh, we edit it out.
Speaker 1: I do this summertime.
Speaker 5: I know, all right, describe where? Take a left here?
Speaker 8: All right?
Speaker 3: Now, I think I'll know.
Speaker 5: There's definitely something in my freaking eye. I'll figure out
Speaker 5: wh I get home. Who can take a poop fartt
Speaker 5: and put it in your hand? This lost bucking pinkuin.
Speaker 1: How early did you have to get up this morning?
Speaker 8: Not that early actually, because my flight was until four,
Speaker 8: so I before thirty nine something like that. So I
Speaker 8: smartly intentionally booked a late flight so I could sleep
Speaker 8: in and kind of not rush to the airport.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, that's good. And do you party after your shows?
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm in my thirties, part I I.
Speaker 8: And it's funny too, because all my friends are in
Speaker 8: their thirties and who come to my shows when they can.
Speaker 8: So luckily there's not that expectation like let's go out
Speaker 8: and drink, andone's like I got to go back to home. Yeah,
Speaker 8: I've seen your drunk.
Speaker 5: You don't. You've never seen me drunk. You've never seen
Speaker 5: me drunk.
Speaker 3: I've seen you drunk. I don't know. It's so hard
Speaker 3: hard to read what I don't know. I'm driving. I'll
Speaker 3: just leave it up to you. Guys. No, I.
Speaker 5: I drink socially. I don't really get drunk. Yeah you do.
Speaker 3: Seeing you drunk.
Speaker 5: A bunch of that is unfair.
Speaker 6: Banks Well, I couldn't tell if you're being sarcastic or
Speaker 6: if you have this new thing where you're not wanting
Speaker 6: to be a drinker, which.
Speaker 5: No, I'm not being sarcastic. I don't. I don't get
Speaker 5: drunk a lot.
Speaker 3: I've just been there when the time.
Speaker 5: I also think that you are wrong. I think that
Speaker 5: you maybe think that I was drunk when you were
Speaker 5: around me, but I was probably just happy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, is this one of the places I guess
Speaker 6: whenever you I know I've been to your place before.
Speaker 3: But I just just keep in mind I don't know
Speaker 3: where it is.
Speaker 5: Well, we keep going this way. Don't worry. I'll pointed
Speaker 5: out what is this. This is called los Felis. Yes,
Speaker 5: if it was correct Spanish would be called Yeah.
Speaker 1: My tendency is I don't want people pronounce it that way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because the Spanish correctly.
Speaker 3: Beer.
Speaker 10: I don't like that one, I say, I says, oh,
Speaker 10: I don't know, it's it's it's I had the uh those.
Speaker 6: I had the audition in Spanish the other day, full
Speaker 6: page of Spanish.
Speaker 5: Really yeah, no, uh huh you speak Spanish? Yeah, but
Speaker 5: yeah Spanish.
Speaker 3: There's colleges there in education.
Speaker 5: But are they're like latinos.
Speaker 3: No, No, they have white people teaching, of.
Speaker 9: Course makes sense, but yeah, yeah, there's there's glas Ka
Speaker 9: lost Am.
Speaker 3: It was awful.
Speaker 6: It was I haven't spoken Spanish for a very long time,
Speaker 6: and I don't remember even I think it said I
Speaker 6: could do an accent. And then I just went in
Speaker 6: there and they said it's okay. It's a white guy
Speaker 6: that's married to a Mexican woman. So his accent is
Speaker 6: supposed to be bad, and I'm like, but I couldn't
Speaker 6: stop laughing.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 3: It was so funny coming out of my out of.
Speaker 5: Your mouth, out of my mouth too ey like, I
Speaker 5: can't uh you got even so I just.
Speaker 6: Once you gave me permission to take a left here
Speaker 6: commercial audition for shows.
Speaker 5: Take a left here, all right?
Speaker 6: Yes it said no left turn only those hours here.
Speaker 6: If you get this paragraph in your head, you'll know
Speaker 6: when not to turn left, I know.
Speaker 3: So just go in here. Oh, it's becoming familiar. Are
Speaker 3: you on the left or the right?
Speaker 5: Oh? You should go that way to that stop sign
Speaker 5: and take a right. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna take
Speaker 5: care of you, guys. Don't worry. Don't worry.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna show you where to go get our kneecaps.
Speaker 5: Brow you I wat to go take it right right here?
Speaker 3: All right? Whoa? That was the frondiest poem front.
Speaker 5: Watch out all the palm trees. That's just me. I
Speaker 5: don't have a I don't have a Paccino impersonation. Just
Speaker 5: a rhythm. It's the rhythm, the light to the no exactly,
Speaker 5: it's just rhythm. That's I'm saying. It doesn't sound like it,
Speaker 5: but if you listen to the rhythm, it does.
Speaker 8: To the light, to the light, to the light to
Speaker 8: l like Chris, Hey, Chris, it's fun to have it
Speaker 8: all like listen, go up to the light tank.
Speaker 5: All right, I got it now.
Speaker 3: No, it's not that good.
Speaker 1: It'scogne recognize time.
Speaker 5: I'll blot you know. Let me just don't worry about it. Well,
Speaker 5: I hope that something said said of use and hilarity tonight.
Speaker 5: Put it to that Chevron.
Speaker 3: Let's do that.
Speaker 6: Also another sponsor of do you need AA.
Speaker 3: If you need gas, go with gas.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna end this podcast with getting some unletted Yeah,
Speaker 6: Barren Baron, you inspired.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna call laughs too. I want to go there
Speaker 3: just like you did. I want to be like you.
Speaker 5: Do you want to walk like me, talk like me?
Speaker 8: It's Aerongland is okay, we're leaving you at this gas.
Speaker 5: I live in the building around it. It just seems
Speaker 5: so I like it.
Speaker 3: I'll walk into your door.
Speaker 2: No, it's fine, don't because actually he lives on the
Speaker 2: other side of the railroad tracks.
Speaker 1: Don't want us to see where you live.
Speaker 5: I live on the wrong side of the tracks. So
Speaker 5: good to see Karen, good to see you.
Speaker 1: Thanks for doing it.
Speaker 5: Okay, I know I did this with my hand.
Speaker 1: Did you do a light pat something like that?
Speaker 3: So that's it for you and I too. You're gonna
Speaker 3: walk that way. You of gas.
Speaker 5: Thanks Baron, Thank you guys.
Speaker 1: Thanks Baron. Here, do you get some gas money? That's right,
Speaker 1: tack my card.
Speaker 3: That's how we'll end it. We'll just talk about this is.
Speaker 1: These are the this is how it really is.
Speaker 2: This has been an Exactly Right production produced by Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 3: Mixed by Edson Choi.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 3: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y n ar podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you both.
Speaker 3: You're welcome.