1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,880
Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for going no contact with my

2
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:09,440
Speaker 1: biological father and his new family. I'm currently and I

3
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,880
Speaker 1: have recently gone pretty low to no contact with my

4
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:17,680
Speaker 1: father after him repeatedly choosing his new family over me

5
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:22,439
Speaker 1: and continue to abandon every like interaction we would have together.

6
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,800
Speaker 1: Basically every time I would go and have like a

7
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,160
Speaker 1: lunch outing with him or going to just like hang

8
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,720
Speaker 1: out and just have a conversation and like catch up

9
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,800
Speaker 1: as we are both adults and a messed up economy.

10
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,560
Speaker 1: Every time he would set those plans and I would

11
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,920
Speaker 1: drive the hour and a half it takes for me

12
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,680
Speaker 1: to go ahead and get me near him, because he

13
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,160
Speaker 1: doesn't want to travel to me. He cancel those five

14
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:53,280
Speaker 1: minutes before we were supposed to go. Yeah, now I'm concerned,

15
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,080
Speaker 1: So I might be the asshole because my little sisters

16
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,760
Speaker 1: are still over there and because of me going on contact,

17
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 1: I'm not able to really interact with them. They are

18
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,319
Speaker 1: my main priority. He and his wife are not. My

19
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,600
Speaker 1: name is Pucket?

20
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,720
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, yeah, this is this is a hard situation.

21
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,959
Speaker 2: I mean, like, obviously your dad's being a dick, Like

22
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 2: who cancels five minutes before? That's such a dick? Move.

23
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,039
Speaker 3: I think we separate this a I t A into

24
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,520
Speaker 3: two different a I t as, and there's the dad

25
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,240
Speaker 3: a I t A and the sister A I t A.

26
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Dad obviously the asshole. Obviously the asshole. Also,

27
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,360
Speaker 2: what is like, like, what is a respectable amount of

28
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,760
Speaker 2: time to cancel? I think I think.

29
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,160
Speaker 3: At least honestly before the other person starts driving, Yeah,

30
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:41,919
Speaker 3: there is no.

31
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,360
Speaker 2: And if you disagree, calm it down below. We're gonna

32
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,520
Speaker 2: find you, drive to you and then tell you we're

33
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,080
Speaker 2: gonna drive to you and then cancel five minutes before

34
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:52,680
Speaker 2: we get there.

35
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,520
Speaker 3: Or we're gonna get you to drive to us, oh ship,

36
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,920
Speaker 3: and then we're gonna show up.

37
00:01:59,080 --> 00:01:59,400
Speaker 2: Hands.

38
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:05,360
Speaker 3: We're gonna have her baby on a bathroom book. I

39
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:10,440
Speaker 3: didn't say that. This is a voiceover from John is

40
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:16,800
Speaker 3: making out a John, We're.

41
00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:17,840
Speaker 2: So excited to talk to you.

42
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,600
Speaker 3: I think everyone agrees you're not the asshole with your father.

43
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,840
Speaker 2: We want to hear more about it, though, I do

44
00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:25,440
Speaker 2: want to hear I think what I want to hear

45
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,920
Speaker 2: from like what made the relationship get to that point?

46
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,799
Speaker 2: Was it just him not showing up or were there

47
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,480
Speaker 2: other things that like preceded that totally. And then also

48
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,840
Speaker 2: I think like something important is like, how can you

49
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,799
Speaker 2: keep a relationship with your sisters?

50
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:50,120
Speaker 3: Well, well, before talking about the sisters, Cam, uh, what

51
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:50,520
Speaker 3: do it called?

52
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:50,800
Speaker 1: Back?

53
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 2: Wait?

54
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,800
Speaker 3: Find if I take a sec figure out what I was.

55
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,000
Speaker 3: Oh a, what you said. I don't even know if

56
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,120
Speaker 3: this is what I was? What decipitated this like deterioration

57
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,520
Speaker 3: of the relationship with her dad? And then also consider

58
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,960
Speaker 3: his motivations. Why is he canceling? Is he canceling because

59
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 3: he has this demon inside of him that's really scared

60
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,679
Speaker 3: and nervous to see you after your relationship kind of

61
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,160
Speaker 3: fell apart.

62
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,000
Speaker 2: Because if he's canceling, he's like super anxious, super anxious,

63
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,959
Speaker 2: and like why yeah, why is he canceling? That's a

64
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:21,560
Speaker 2: really good Poe.

65
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,840
Speaker 3: Wants to make the situation right again, and it is

66
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 3: just nervous.

67
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,959
Speaker 2: But based on what it seems like she's saying in

68
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,480
Speaker 2: the voicemail, he's canceling because he's choosing his new family

69
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,680
Speaker 2: over his previous family. Mm hmmm hmm right, because it's yeah,

70
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,160
Speaker 2: we had plans together, Oh my new family has plans.

71
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to cancel plans with you?

72
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,800
Speaker 3: And what I'm also super curious to hear about. Is

73
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,160
Speaker 3: is he canceling with a specific reason. Is he saying, hey,

74
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 3: I have to take care of this family responsibility or.

75
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,720
Speaker 2: Make it any better if it's consistent, and she's like, like,

76
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,400
Speaker 2: you know, I think it makes.

77
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,440
Speaker 3: It marginally better if they're not act if they are

78
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,120
Speaker 3: true reasons. If he's like, I need to like take

79
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,839
Speaker 3: this daughter to this like doctor's appointment, and and that's

80
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,280
Speaker 3: a more explicit prioritization of the new family, which is

81
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,920
Speaker 3: still does not make you the asshole. The dad's still

82
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,400
Speaker 3: the asshole, but it does change the way that I

83
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,160
Speaker 3: look at it. So I'm super curious to hear from

84
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 3: you about that.

85
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,080
Speaker 2: Also, Cam and I wrote a song about this, and

86
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 2: we're going to play it for at the end. Yes,

87
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,880
Speaker 2: so state to lean to see the song.

88
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 3: Oh oh yeah.

89
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,599
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, this is Sam from OKOP and guest host

90
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,720
Speaker 2: Cam from OKOP.

91
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:31,440
Speaker 1: Hi.

92
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 2: How's it going pretty good?

93
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 4: You know, trying to not fucking die?

94
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,160
Speaker 2: That is what we're all trying to do. What's happening

95
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:40,640
Speaker 2: right now?

96
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 4: I just got home from work. Not gonna lie.

97
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:49,080
Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad we're catching you as you're transitioning into

98
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,400
Speaker 2: leisure because we wanted to ask you about your situation

99
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:58,440
Speaker 2: with your biological father. The voicemail that you left I

100
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,640
Speaker 2: forgot I did that shit.

101
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,360
Speaker 3: Then ready, And also we both thought it was so

102
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,719
Speaker 3: cool that at the end of the voicemail you went, also,

103
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:08,800
Speaker 3: I'm locking.

104
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 2: That really made us hapy. Yeah, I have a little personality,

105
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:14,960
Speaker 2: a little spice.

106
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,560
Speaker 4: I don't give us luck, to be honest, I'm just

107
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:25,480
Speaker 4: over it. Basically, my mom and my dad officially divorced

108
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,919
Speaker 4: when I was like about twelve, right, they've been separated

109
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,040
Speaker 4: for a couple of dozen years before that.

110
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,840
Speaker 2: That was Okay, you're twenty one now.

111
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,320
Speaker 4: I'm twenty two.

112
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,679
Speaker 2: Now twenty two? Heavy birthday? Happy birthday? Did you recently

113
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,679
Speaker 2: have a birthday between October nineteenth?

114
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 1: Oh?

115
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,719
Speaker 2: Shit, okay, awesome.

116
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:45,720
Speaker 4: Anyway, So he then ends up with his current like

117
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,240
Speaker 4: fiance girlfriend not really marrying type situation if you.

118
00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 2: Catch my drift, you know what is the drift? Fiance girlfriend, Like, oh.

119
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,440
Speaker 4: We're getting married, but we've been engaged for the past

120
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,400
Speaker 4: like six years.

121
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,280
Speaker 2: Oh a classic Jim and Pam or not Jim and Pam,

122
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,479
Speaker 2: Roy and Pam and they were like, we were engaged

123
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,160
Speaker 2: for like nine years. Yeah, then we got married so.

124
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,719
Speaker 4: And then she had a kid before and then they

125
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,880
Speaker 4: ended up having given birth to my little sister who's

126
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:21,960
Speaker 4: like three now. Right as this was going on, we

127
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,880
Speaker 4: would make plans and like try to meet up. And

128
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,560
Speaker 4: I understand that life gets in a way that at

129
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,440
Speaker 4: some point I have to like pull a plug because

130
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,600
Speaker 4: he would cancel. He lives like an hour and a

131
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,479
Speaker 4: half away from me, right, so that's like quite a distance.

132
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,839
Speaker 4: And every time we would set up a time to meet,

133
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,880
Speaker 4: he would cancel five minutes when like literally like I

134
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,560
Speaker 4: was right there at the restaurant and he called me,

135
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,040
Speaker 4: don't come, and then he homeed up and then he hung.

136
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,760
Speaker 2: Way, you traveled like an hour and thirty minutes and

137
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,960
Speaker 2: you're five minutes away from the restaurant and he cancels

138
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 2: five minutes from there. Yeah, dick, mind you.

139
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:00,599
Speaker 1: I was Leanian.

140
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,520
Speaker 4: I was way too nice. Let's be fucking honest. That

141
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,440
Speaker 4: happened about like uh, I would say like ten times,

142
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,960
Speaker 4: maybe patent times.

143
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 2: What did you say when he canceled?

144
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,040
Speaker 4: I would cry in my car, go get a Starbucks

145
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:15,640
Speaker 4: and drive home.

146
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 2: But did he say anything like when he canceled, like

147
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,760
Speaker 2: it was he like I can't make it because blah

148
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,440
Speaker 2: blah blah, like.

149
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 4: I can't make it fine, it would just be I'm busy,

150
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,320
Speaker 4: don't come. Angela made plans.

151
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,080
Speaker 3: Angela being the girlfriend fiance Yep, wow, what a roy

152
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,800
Speaker 3: What recently?

153
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,600
Speaker 4: Like earlier this week, actually, after I like left a message, heyall,

154
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 4: he had texted me asking me to come in come

155
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 4: over tonight actually to watch his kids because he and

156
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 4: Angela had reservations. Even though previously I had let him

157
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,400
Speaker 4: know that my work schedule comes out monthly, I'm not

158
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,520
Speaker 4: able to like rearrange shit like that.

159
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

160
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,520
Speaker 4: So, and when I told him no, he started pulling

161
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,680
Speaker 4: the you know, I asked very little. Told you that.

162
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 2: You asked me to drive an hour and a half

163
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,200
Speaker 2: every time, and ten times you've totally canceled on me.

164
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,960
Speaker 3: And have you expressed your hesitations? Yeah, in this situation exactly.

165
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

166
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 4: The only reason I'm hesitant to like fully cut him

167
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,440
Speaker 4: off is because I still want to be able to

168
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 4: interact with my little sisters.

169
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 2: Right. Have you said that you're disappointed in him and

170
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,120
Speaker 2: like how he's treating you.

171
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:29,520
Speaker 3: Specifically for his lack of communication. When you're driving out

172
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,920
Speaker 3: to meet him, he'll try.

173
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,160
Speaker 4: To pull the whole I was a single dad. Bullshit,

174
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 4: he didn't actually raise me. I went over there. Maybe

175
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,240
Speaker 4: it was a whole It was like every other weekend

176
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 4: and half of the time I would never go over

177
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,640
Speaker 4: why because he just had other plans.

178
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,120
Speaker 2: Right, So he's been doing this for.

179
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,559
Speaker 4: Like, for my entire life.

180
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,600
Speaker 1: Not gonna lie to Okay, So.

181
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,080
Speaker 2: This isn't like a is Do you think this is

182
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,480
Speaker 2: a like a new fiance being like, hey, you need

183
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,599
Speaker 2: to spend time with your new family, or do you

184
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,200
Speaker 2: think this is coming from him?

185
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,080
Speaker 4: If I think it's coming from he wants to impress

186
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:09,920
Speaker 4: her and be a man that he's not I don't

187
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,880
Speaker 4: think qualified to be.

188
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,760
Speaker 2: Do you think, like, like, have you ever tried to

189
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,040
Speaker 2: have like a sit down conversation with him about all

190
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,440
Speaker 2: of this and just be like, hey, like this is home.

191
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:26,800
Speaker 4: I've tried. He will talk over me and I'm unable

192
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,320
Speaker 4: to get a word in. And every time when I

193
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,280
Speaker 4: was a kid and he would raise his voice, I

194
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,080
Speaker 4: would shut down and just not respond. So that's a

195
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:40,640
Speaker 4: traumatic response, right, and is one I just haven't broken. Unfortunately.

196
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,400
Speaker 3: I want you to like respond to to what I'm

197
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:49,560
Speaker 3: saying and critique it. So what is stopping you or

198
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:53,760
Speaker 3: why would you consider sending some sort of text where

199
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,520
Speaker 3: you get to get let to get to say everything

200
00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,120
Speaker 3: that you need to say, where you say, Hey, Dad,

201
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,680
Speaker 3: I'm actively trying to reconnect with you because I value

202
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,360
Speaker 3: having you in my life and I would like to

203
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,640
Speaker 3: have meals with you or meet you on a regular basis,

204
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,280
Speaker 3: and it is really.

205
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:12,840
Speaker 2: Important to me.

206
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,240
Speaker 3: But from the way that that you're responding to me

207
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 3: trying to see you, more specifically being canceling when I'm

208
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:23,280
Speaker 3: close and not communicating or committing to plans, I find

209
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,800
Speaker 3: that to be very hurtful and it seems as though

210
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 3: connecting with me is not a priority, And I just

211
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,440
Speaker 3: want to figure out where your head's at. Have you

212
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:35,160
Speaker 3: considered some sort of text based communication like that?

213
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,160
Speaker 4: I thought about it. I think so. I'm gonna be honest,

214
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 4: I haven't really texted him in like a month, except

215
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,640
Speaker 4: for this last conversation this past week. I've just stopped.

216
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, I think like I mean, obviously

217
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,200
Speaker 2: you have every right and like every reason. He's given

218
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:01,360
Speaker 2: you every reason to restrict and stop contact with him.

219
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 2: I think he's shown you repeatedly. Maybe he'd he isn't

220
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 2: putting in the effort that you need and that honestly

221
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 2: that you should expect. But I could see like one

222
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,960
Speaker 2: last text like this that just really puts everything out there,

223
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,640
Speaker 2: so it's like, hey, these almost like this is what

224
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,679
Speaker 2: I need if this happens again, like then here these

225
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,000
Speaker 2: these are the reasons that now I am, you know,

226
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaker 2: not going to reach out anymore and maybe just like

227
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,520
Speaker 2: making that very obvious and why're you're deciding to go

228
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:37,480
Speaker 2: no contact?

229
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,560
Speaker 3: And I also think what's important in considering whether you

230
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,800
Speaker 3: do that is just figuring out what what a regardless

231
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,320
Speaker 3: of him, what do you want out of your relationship

232
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,880
Speaker 3: with him? And I'd be really curious to hear hear that, even.

233
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,120
Speaker 2: If it is just the relationship with your your sister.

234
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,920
Speaker 4: I would like to be able to like actually interact

235
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,920
Speaker 4: with my sisters like once three the others like seven,

236
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,040
Speaker 4: and I'm not able to go over there every day,

237
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 4: so I'm not very much involved with them. Unfortunately. I

238
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:08,920
Speaker 4: think it's just one of dad.

239
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when when talking to you and listening to

240
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 3: your voicemail, one thing which we didn't lead with, but

241
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 3: we want to make sure we lead with.

242
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,240
Speaker 2: You are not the asshole. Yeah, you are not the

243
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,040
Speaker 2: asshole at all, Like like like your dad is being

244
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,160
Speaker 2: a massive dick, and like even you thinking like how

245
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,400
Speaker 2: can I have a relationship with my sisters? Like that

246
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,360
Speaker 2: shows that you're putting your relationships, like the relationship that

247
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,160
Speaker 2: means something to you above everything else, above all the

248
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,240
Speaker 2: hurt that your dad's caused. So like that's like I

249
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,320
Speaker 2: think that shows a lot.

250
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

251
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,960
Speaker 3: Uh So when we were looking at this situation, we

252
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000
Speaker 3: thought it it could be good to separate it out

253
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 3: and just talk about your dad first and then talk

254
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,720
Speaker 3: about your sister. So we've already talked about your dad

255
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,040
Speaker 3: a little bit, and I think we have a resounding

256
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,520
Speaker 3: answer to massive asshole?

257
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,040
Speaker 2: Is he the asshole?

258
00:12:59,240 --> 00:12:59,400
Speaker 1: Yes?

259
00:12:59,480 --> 00:12:59,720
Speaker 2: Yes?

260
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,640
Speaker 3: And now let's let's talk about your sister's more. Tell

261
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:04,440
Speaker 3: us about them.

262
00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,120
Speaker 4: Okay, So I got three little sisters. Two are from

263
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 4: my dad technically. One she's seven. She's Angie's daughter, and

264
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,720
Speaker 4: she tends, you know, like those iPad kids.

265
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're talking to an iPad man.

266
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:34,559
Speaker 4: So like I try to report with her, like him

267
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:39,960
Speaker 4: and his girlfriends fight a lot, like arguments from arguments

268
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 4: on arguments. They've like they're in the breakup like many times,

269
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,160
Speaker 4: and they've done this in front of the kids.

270
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:51,200
Speaker 2: Wait, your dad and Angie? Sorry what your dad and

271
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,200
Speaker 2: Angie or those they're having fights constantly.

272
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it'll be some like stupid bullshit for like

273
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,800
Speaker 4: no reason. I'll fight for us, fellow, like two days,

274
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,720
Speaker 4: like with the whole yelling, the threatening to break up,

275
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 4: like a whole bunch of like stuff that you hear

276
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 4: on the TV. And he would do that. He would

277
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,520
Speaker 4: do this in front of the children. And I feel

278
00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:20,400
Speaker 4: like it's my responsibility to be in our branch for them, Yeah.

279
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 2: And also be like something like, you know, stability for them.

280
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 2: It feels like they need that. Have you tried talking

281
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 2: to Angie as well?

282
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 4: She'll put on a smile to your face, like I'll

283
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,960
Speaker 4: tell her something in truest right, trying to build up bomb,

284
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,160
Speaker 4: trying to build upport, and I'll tell her to like

285
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,600
Speaker 4: not tell anyone else or to like my dad's for example,

286
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,400
Speaker 4: for life a reason, and then she would go tell him,

287
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 4: and then me and my dad would have a conversation

288
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 4: after where I feel very uncomfortable.

289
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 2: Oh, is Angie the asshole? Yes?

290
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 3: Uh? That that really sucks And it sounds like Angie

291
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 3: is not so someone that you can try to.

292
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 2: Confide in and trust. Uh my impression.

293
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like your heart is in the perfect place.

294
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,520
Speaker 3: You want to be there for your sisters, and you

295
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 3: want to establish a better relationship with your dad. I

296
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,360
Speaker 3: think as far as your dad goes, it could be

297
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 3: and obviously whatever you're feeling, you have to trust your

298
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 3: gut in complicated situations like this, it could be worth

299
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 3: expressing exactly how you feel over text in some way.

300
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like I think, the thing that's hard about

301
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 2: going no contact is if you go no contact with him,

302
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 2: it might be pretty hard to establish contact with your sisters.

303
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 4: I would be no contact with them because he would

304
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 4: pull that card and I know.

305
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:48,120
Speaker 3: He would yeah mm hmmm, uh yeah. So so I

306
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 3: think if if you if you do feel comfortable just

307
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 3: just expressing where you're at a very honest this is

308
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,600
Speaker 3: how I feel, uh, and this is what I want

309
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 3: out of our relationship. I want a dad and I'm

310
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 3: willing to put in the effort if you're willing to

311
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,560
Speaker 3: put in the effort. It has been hurtful that you've

312
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 3: canceled on me because I'm putting the effort, and it

313
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 3: more and more feels like you don't want this and

314
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 3: If you don't want this, there's nothing I can change

315
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 3: about that. If you don't want a relationship with me,

316
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 3: there's nothing I can change about that. But I'm telling

317
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,120
Speaker 3: you what I want, and that is to establish some

318
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,320
Speaker 3: sort of better relationship.

319
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,840
Speaker 2: And I think putting that on the table, even if

320
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,800
Speaker 2: it's not reciprocated, like you'll just know that at least

321
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 2: he knows where your head's at, and anything that he

322
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 2: chooses to do from then on is like on him.

323
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

324
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: But well, the last thing is also with your sisters.

325
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 3: It is such a complicated, difficult situation that you're you're

326
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 3: not able to see them. But I think that making

327
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 3: yourself available and trying continually is what you can do

328
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,160
Speaker 3: right now. And it sounds like you're doing that, and

329
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,000
Speaker 3: it sounds like you won't stop doing that, And I

330
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 3: think that's really important because if you can put family first,

331
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 3: especially young sisters, being there as a role model, being

332
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 3: there as someone who will unconditionally look out for them,

333
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 3: it's so special that you're doing that, and I think

334
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 3: anyone would be lucky, lucky to have an older sister

335
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,680
Speaker 3: doing what you're doing for them.

336
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,640
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, just like don't give up.

337
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't give up and know that the life lifespan

338
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 3: of sibling relationships is very long, and soon they'll have

339
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,479
Speaker 3: Soon it'll they'll be in a position where if they

340
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,680
Speaker 3: want to communicate.

341
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 2: With you, they'll all have iPads that you can communicate

342
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 2: with you on your iPad.

343
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 4: A girl already knows she she's like talked to me

344
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 4: before about everything really and she's not even comfortable and

345
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 4: she just stays silent what is happening? And I feel

346
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:44,960
Speaker 4: very sad.

347
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really tough. But I mean, at least like

348
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 2: you can kind of be there for her through some

349
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 2: of those things. Yeah, but we have a little gift

350
00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:04,399
Speaker 2: for you. We made a song about your voicemail and

351
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 2: we want to play it to you right now.

352
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, your siblings love you.

353
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,119
Speaker 2: That won't ever fade.

354
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 3: Those circumstances may cast you in.

355
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 2: Shade, keep channel soapen, reach out when you can. Your

356
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 2: loves resilient. They'll understand you not an asshle. Your sisters

357
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 2: won't be forever. If you you will be together, just

358
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:57,119
Speaker 2: make sure to tell them you love them. You are

359
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 2: not an asshle. Are you the asshole?

360
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 4: No?

361
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 3: We hope you love that adaptation of Lucy and the

362
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,200
Speaker 3: sky were very.

363
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 2: Hard and I we're wor seeing you. All the best

364
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: to you and your sisters, and thank you so much

365
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 2: for calling us.

366
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 3: And you have such an awesome and warm heart. And

367
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 3: it sucks the position you're in, but you're doing the

368
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 3: right things, and I think trying to stay resilient through

369
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 3: it all, knowing that you're doing the right thing is

370
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 3: what's really important and sucks. It sucks about the lack

371
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: of communication, because communication and situations like this or what

372
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 3: is most important.

373
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have much love, much love.

374
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 3: Night right night.

375
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 2: You are so. I feel like she was getting a

376
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 2: little emotional at the end, a little bit too. Yeah,

377
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 2: that's a hard situation really, but I feel like what

378
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 2: I like what you said at the end. It's just

379
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 2: like she just got to keep trying because that's all

380
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 2: she can do. She can only control, you know, her end.

381
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: And it's not going to be easy. It's not going

382
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 2: to be easy, and the dad is not making it easy.

383
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 2: The fiance not making it easy either, But Bella stays strong.

384
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 2: You have a big heart, And.

385
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 3: We were kind of smiling and joking through the song,

386
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 3: but the lyrics of the song are genuine.

387
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 2: Advice Yeah, and it's good advice. Yeah, good advice.

388
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 3: Make sure you tell your sisters you love them. Make

389
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 3: sure you tell all the people that you care about

390
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 3: you love them, because expressing how you feel is the

391
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 3: one thing that you can do.

392
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right?

393
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 5: Am I the a whole from forcing my husband to

394
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 5: stop seeing my sister because he won't stop debating with

395
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 5: her and.

396
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 2: Her husband debating about what but that? Three?

397
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 5: So we try to do exactly while swinging with the

398
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 5: cys debating about who's going first?

399
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 2: Oh yikes, I mean I will you know, it's Reddit.

400
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 2: I would have put a pass.

401
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 5: Let's read it. It has happened before, and it will

402
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 5: happen again.

403
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 2: It will happen again before the clock strikes midnight.

404
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 5: My sister, Marie twenty nine and her husband Zach forty

405
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 5: had their first child, a beautiful baby girl, two months ago. Congrats, congrats.

406
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 5: They have been pretty nervous parents. So when my husband

407
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 5: Tom forty two and I thirty seven were invited to

408
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 5: meet our niece, I was thrilled, except I was worried

409
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 5: about Tom making an ass out of himself.

410
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,439
Speaker 2: Does Tom often make an ass out of himself?

411
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 5: You know, Tom, He's just clearly the worst human being

412
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 5: on planet Earth.

413
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 2: That's why I married him, obviously. Dude. The red flags,

414
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 2: the red red flags. God, it's like it's like I

415
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 2: hate going over to my family's house because my husband

416
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 2: is an asshole? Like, bro, why do you marry what

417
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 2: you're gonna do? You see?

418
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 5: Tom and Marie have always had a hard time getting

419
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 5: along because they do not agree on nearly anything. Tom

420
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 5: has always gotten a kick out of challenging Marie on

421
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 5: their differing views because they're both very opinionated.

422
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: Oh god, this is a recipe for disaster. Okay, But

423
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 2: to be fair, I love a good debate, that is true.

424
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 2: Samuel loves a good debate. I love a good debate.

425
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: I've learned to over the past few years though, I've

426
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: learned to kind of go with the flow. Yeah, it

427
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 2: just depends on the vibe.

428
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 5: Like some people are like down for discussion and some

429
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 5: people are not down for that.

430
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: You just have to like gauge how emotionally invested someone is. Yeah, yeah,

431
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,400
Speaker 2: and emotionally invested they are in defending their side. The

432
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 2: more you argue, yeah, the.

433
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 5: More you poke a little more, the more you twist

434
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 5: the night exactly.

435
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 2: And the thing is to Tom.

436
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 5: It's funny to watch Marie react when he says things

437
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 5: to provoke her, like we just said, of course, and

438
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,479
Speaker 5: Marie always wants to prove his views wrong in his

439
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 5: head because she was in grad school for social science

440
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 5: she finished right before having her baby, and is knowledgeable

441
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 5: about the topics that Tom wants to argue about. Marie

442
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 5: shouldn't have a problem with debating because it's.

443
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 2: Literally her job. Bro, it's your job, bro, her job.

444
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: She's went for school for it. She just went to

445
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 2: school for it.

446
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 5: In the past, both Tom and Marie have initiated these arguments,

447
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 5: and they have both been guilty of taking it too far.

448
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: But oh god, what are the argument? It's like political?

449
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 2: I hope we find out.

450
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 5: But ever since she got pregnant and had a baby,

451
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 5: Marie has calmed down a lot, whereas Tom still tries

452
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 5: to bait her into doing debates about touchy subjects, mainly

453
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 5: politics and personal lities.

454
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 2: Okay, so I think we got to, you know, two

455
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: different people.

456
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 5: This got to a point where Marie blocked him on

457
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,159
Speaker 5: all social media.

458
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 2: If you want to go, Tom, dude, just like read

459
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 2: the rue. I understand I I you know, I love

460
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 2: a good debate as much as the next guy. But

461
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 2: if you're like causing problems and people have said, like, yo,

462
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: stop it, just stop. So it literally joined the debate

463
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 2: club or like Toastmasters and debate.

464
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 5: But you could debate the You could just say that

465
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 5: your speeches are about how stupid toast Masters is.

466
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: Then then you'll get some debates. Debates.

467
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, Before he went to visit, I asked Tom to

468
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 5: be nice to Marie and Zach and not start anything.

469
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 5: Tom's like, fuck you, I'm gonna do what I want.

470
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 5: Tom said he would try his best. My God, sweet

471
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 5: sweet Tom. I told him I would be very upset

472
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 5: with him if he tried debate Marie or Zach into

473
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 5: an argument. Tom started out the evening pretty strong, and

474
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 5: he kept to himself until it was revealed that Zach

475
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 5: was going to be the one to stay home with

476
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 5: the daughter.

477
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 2: How dare you God? Okay, so Tom is pretty conservative one.

478
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 5: I mean, how how to stay home and love your daughter?

479
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 5: You filthy piece of like slime garbage. You literally like

480
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 5: ponds coum. You don't deserve like like you don't deserve

481
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 5: to be ship out of my ass, like like.

482
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 2: You know, does not even a microbe on my ship

483
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: that's about to be flushed down there.

484
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 5: That's like too generous for you, you disgusting human being,

485
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 5: pond scum.

486
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 2: I like that. I got that from uh Wolf of

487
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: Wall Street, and there's this line where it's like, you

488
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 2: are garbage, you are ponds gum. You are worse than

489
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 2: ponds gum. You dial the phones. There's some coke to

490
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: make the dial faster.

491
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 5: And so Tom made a comment like, oh, I thought

492
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 5: the mom was supposed to do that, yo, who cares?

493
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 5: Zach said it was pretty sexist for Tom to say that, true,

494
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 5: And when Tom asked how, Zach told him about how

495
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 5: that moms have career too, and that Marie shouldn't have

496
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 5: to give up all the.

497
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 2: Hard work she just did. I think that is yeah, agreed.

498
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 2: I think that is uh classic classic John classic classic

499
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 2: job double down. You know.

500
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 5: Tom started on a tangent and Marie cut him off

501
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 5: and told him to either quit or leave because she

502
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 5: is done entertaining his nonsense.

503
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 2: Which good for her. I mean, yeah, you a like

504
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: like I have a new baby, I'm done, dude, and

505
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:35,959
Speaker 2: stop and it's like a personal choice. It's like yo all.

506
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 2: I also like I feel like ops giving Tom a

507
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 2: little bit too much credit. It's like, oh, like he

508
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 2: loves discussing political and personal ideology, very intellectual. Yeah, it

509
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: makes it sound like Tom is some like intellectual philosopher

510
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: where he's like, it's pretty pretty dumb that your husband

511
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: is trying to take care of your baby. What are

512
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 2: you some kind of nerd lady? What are you a vagina?

513
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: The lip where some kind of libtard? Many genders are

514
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 2: there now.

515
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 5: Tom just laughed us off, but it was still very

516
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 5: awkward after this. We didn't stay for long after, and

517
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 5: when we got home, I told Tom that I am

518
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 5: done with him embarrassing me and that he is not

519
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 5: allowed to join me whenever I visit Marie again. True,

520
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 5: that's right, if I'm even invited back. Oh man. I

521
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 5: told him that it doesn't make him look smart when

522
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 5: he always insists on having these conversations and it just

523
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 5: makes him look like an ass and a fool.

524
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't make him sound smart at all. The opposite.

525
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, Tom said I'm blowing this way out of proportion

526
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 5: and that it's not his fault. And they got so offended,

527
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 5: and if anything, they were rude to kick him out

528
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 5: over his opinion. But Marie didn't do anything to him

529
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 5: this time. She didn't snap back at him, she didn't

530
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,239
Speaker 5: call him names. She just asked him to stop. So

531
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 5: am I being the A hole? Am I unreasonable?

532
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 2: I think like Marie is just kind of like sick

533
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 2: of his shit and has learned to adapt. Yeah, but

534
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 2: it's like I feel like she's just become the bigger person,

535
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: and so she's like, Okay, I'm not gonna I'm not

536
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 2: gonna stop. I'm not into it, and then just shut

537
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 2: it down rather than like take the bait, pretty shitty,

538
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 2: pretty shitty, Like I don't. I don't, I don't I

539
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: So to be clear, I don't. I don't think OPI

540
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 2: is the A hole? Yes, right, Because just because someone

541
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: is not taking the bait and being like and like

542
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: blowing up, does not mean that the behavior that Tom

543
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: is is like uh doing is acceptable and like someone

544
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 2: should put him in check and to let him know like, hey,

545
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: this is not okay even though it didn't cause reaction,

546
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: like you're still being a dick.

547
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 5: I think that they should like go to anytime he does,

548
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 5: like if he wants to keep saying stupid shit, they

549
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 5: should like go to like a boxing ring and then

550
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 5: put like forty pounds like weight, like tied like Edward

551
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 5: forty hands, just like to wrap up his hands so

552
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 5: he literally like can't lift his hands and then just

553
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 5: let Mary beat this ship out of him.

554
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: That's for saying my husband couldn't stay home to need

555
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: some correction. I'm sorry,