1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,639 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about how to stop being late. Let 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: me start by saying that I find punctuality to be 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:18,959 Speaker 1: a fascinating concept. It's more about expectations than about time itself. 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: There are definitely cultural elements to it. If you're lucky 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,440 Speaker 1: enough to be invited to a party in Brazil, for instance, 7 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,159 Speaker 1: showing up at the stated time is actually rude to 8 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: your hosts. They won't be expecting anyone until about sixty 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: minutes after the start. When I was visiting Japan, on 10 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: the other hand, my tour bus actually left someone who 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: wasn't on the bus at the time our guide said 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: we were going to leave. Punctuality is incredibly important there, 13 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: which is why the trains always run on time. Different 14 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: offices have different attitudes towards punctuality. It's one of the 15 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: first things people learn when starting a new job. In 16 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: some places, all meetings start ten minutes late, because it's 17 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: understood that you're coming from other meetings. In other places, 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: all meetings in ten minutes early, so the next meetings 19 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: can start on time. Either system can work, at least 20 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: until these two places try to do business with each 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: other In any case, While being late is about expectations, 22 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: not time, I know it's a common source of unhappiness. Indeed, 23 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: when people tell me that they have trouble with time management, 24 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: they often mean that they're always late. Defined here is 25 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: not meeting someone else's time expectations. Very few people enjoy 26 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: being late by this definition. Sure, there are probably some 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: people who view it as a power play. Look at me, 28 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: I can make other people wait because I am so important. 29 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: But I think that most normal, non psychopathic late people 30 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: really hate the idea that they are causing annoyance and inconvenience. 31 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: That sense of unease causes people to make terrible decisions. 32 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: They run red lights and speed through residential neighborhoods. One 33 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: well known study found that seminary students asked to prepare 34 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: a sermon on the good Samaritan who's in the Bible 35 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: because he stopped to help somebody, We're highly likely to 36 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: walk right past someone in need of medical assistance when 37 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: they were told that they were late to deliver their talks. 38 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: I appreciate the researcher's sense of humor, but this does 39 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: not speak well for human nature. Fortunately, there's a simple 40 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: way to avoid being late. The key is realizing that 41 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: most things that make us late are predictable. They fall 42 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: into that category that Donald Rumsfeld once called known unknowns. 43 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: You don't know how much traffic there will be on 44 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: Friday afternoon at five pm, but it probably won't be none. 45 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: You don't know which family member will forget something on 46 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: the way out the door, but the odds are good 47 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: that somebody will need to go back for something. You 48 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: don't know which of your direct reports will stop you 49 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: as you're leaving to catch your train, but no doubt 50 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: someone will need to talk with you. In each of 51 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: these cases, you don't know exactly what will fill your time, 52 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: but you can be pretty sure something will fill your time, 53 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,679 Speaker 1: and if you don't plan for that, you'll be late. 54 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: The best way to plan for it is simply to 55 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: build in extra time. This seems obvious, but it's actually 56 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: life changing. When I talk to people who are always 57 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: on time, they almost universally leave ten to fifteen minutes 58 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: before they absolutely have to. They may not even recognize 59 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: that this is what they're doing, but when you talk 60 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: to them, they say things like, well, churches ten minutes away, 61 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: so we leave at nine forty for the ten o'clock service. 62 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: You can do the math and see that this is 63 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: twenty minutes, not ten. But the person has built in 64 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 1: time for someone to decide it's cold and she needs 65 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: a coat, and to find parking, and to let a 66 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: child decide that she wants to go to Sunday school 67 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: instead of going to the service, and so they're in 68 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: the pews when the minister stands up. Whereas someone else 69 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: might see that churches ten minutes away and planned to 70 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: get in the car at nine, then they always show 71 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: up in the middle of that first hymn wondering what happened. Likewise, 72 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: someone who wants to catch the five p m train 73 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: from a station that's a fifteen minute walk from the 74 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: office could, in theory leave at ten pm, but it 75 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: might be better to start walking out at five oh five. 76 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: When your colleague stops you to announce that her team 77 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: actually isn't going to make that deadline on Friday. You 78 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: can deal with this without also having the hard choice 79 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: then of missing your train. Of course, this is easier 80 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: said than done. It's hard to stop doing what we're doing. 81 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: I think that what also happens is people worry they'll 82 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: be too early, and then they'll just be sitting there 83 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: wasting time. I have two responses to that. One is 84 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 1: that if you are early, just open up an e 85 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: book on your phone and treat this as found me time. 86 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: But I've also noticed that people who are chronically late 87 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 1: tend to be so far off in their estimation skills 88 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: that what they think will make them early in fact 89 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: makes them on time. So think through your upcoming day. 90 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: Are you always late for something? Why what would happen 91 00:04:54,920 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: if you set your departure time ten minutes earlier. Maybe 92 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: it can't happen. Maybe it can't happen for a good reason. 93 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: Maybe it's not a priority to you be on time. 94 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: But if it couldn't happen, well I promised life feels 95 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: so much more relaxing. Well you're not trying to cram 96 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: in one more thing in the meantime. This is Laura. 97 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 98 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you. 99 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. 100 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at 101 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: before Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four. Then 102 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: Breakfast p O D you can also shoot me an 103 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com 104 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 105 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.