WEBVTT - Dirty Rush: Moms Listen Up 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:04.280 Welcome to Dirty Rush The Truth about Sorority Life with 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:06.880 your hosts me Gia, Judice. 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:08.520 Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Pessler. 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:18.640 Hi everybody, This is Tristep and Joan and we are 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:21.880 here with the Dirty Rush podcast. We're actually in Tahoe 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:24.400 and I love these events because we get to just 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:28.200 podcast all day long and just chat and hang out 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:29.520 and talk about life. 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:31.400 And it's such a great way to catch up. 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:34.760 Like we had this community that is really important to us, 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:37.440 but we only get to see each other really very occasionally, 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.680 and these podcast opportunities, I hurt, are really special. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:41.440 It's so much. 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:43.919 Really, I'm so glad you could come. This was like 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:48.559 a they always do the golf things. Yeah, and I 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.080 was like, I don't play golf. Could you could do 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:51.839 a pick a ball thing? 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:54.960 So we're here having to play pickable because of you. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:01:00.440 We get to chat all things rush. So I of 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.160 course have a daughter who loves you. 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:06.840 I love her, but she's been like with me at 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.240 really special times. 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:09.880 Yes, she just because. 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.800 She's part of this bachelor community. She grew up in it, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.240 so she gets to like experience these school things. So 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.880 she was at a date that you well, it wasn't 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:18.800 a date a time that you came and gave me 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.520 advice on my season, and I didn't know that she 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:23.880 was sitting right behind me at a cafe table and 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:24.920 then I turned around up like. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.600 She's so cute. 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:29.560 I love her. 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.840 I love her, But you know that kind of brings 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.160 me to thinking about like she your son's going off 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:37.399 to college this year, right, so she's right behind him 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.600 next year him, and like I feel I don't know 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.039 if she's going to go southern school or what kind 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:43.959 of school she's going to do, but like Russia is 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:47.200 such a big part of like the beginning weeks of 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:51.000 college when you're like the most unsure of yourself. Do 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.040 you have any thoughts like as a mom, how you're 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.200 going to support her when she goes through this because 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:55.760 it's scary. 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:56.680 It's so scary. 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:00.800 So even with Max, like you know, obviously it's I 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.800 think mostly we talk about girls, but you know there's. 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:04.880 Fraternity to rush. 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:05.960 Yeah, no, like on. 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:11.960 The podcast, But I feel like for him, he'll be 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:20.160 going to college next year, yes, in couples, so he 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:25.000 is going to see you older and I am so excited. 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.519 I am a good boy close to Mama. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.040 I like he will be like an hour away. I'm 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.040 just gonna pop in. Can I take you to lunch? 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.600 Firstnutes from He went to Georgetown, which is twenty minutes 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:36.280 from where I live. 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:38.920 I don't know if Max would be happy with that. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.560 I think he wants to like go a little further away. 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.760 But I am so happy he's going to be an 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.240 hour away. And it's Ryan's all mutter and everything. So anyway, 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.280 but I'm wondering if he will rush. I don't think 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:58.840 he will. He is more of like hanging out with friends, 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.880 not necessarily the big party frat guy. 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.440 Yeah, but who knows how. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.440 It smells like beer all the time exactly. 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.480 Yeah, I think he'd be fine with that part. 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:13.320 But I think it will be interesting to see and 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:17.960 I and then blakes Lay next year will be I 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:22.960 assume going to college, and we've talked about if she 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.919 would rush. And I was in a sorority. I was 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:32.400 Alpha Kayomega and I still still to this day we 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:33.760 are on a big text thread. 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:34.880 It was one of our. 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:38.160 Sorority sister's birthdays, like two days ago, when all of 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:40.360 us were wishing her happy birthday and trying to make 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:44.120 a plan to get together they are my part of 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:48.080 my chosen family, you know, my sorority sisters. So I 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:53.360 feel like Blakesley would love that part of college. It 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.240 will depend on where she goes and the Greek system there. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:57.840 Yeah, every school it's very different. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:01.320 I'm so surprised when I hear about, especially recently, I've 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.960 been hearing a lot about California schools and that it's 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:05.960 not such a big thing. I think they have so 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.200 many other things. They've beaches and other things that maybe 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:13.160 create community for them because you can be outside so much. Yeah, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.280 so I think that it just depends on where she goes. 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:17.760 Totally depends on where she goes. 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.400 I did have a great conversation with her the other 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.760 day because my best friend from high school and college, 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:28.560 we were sorority sisters, and her daughter is Blakesley's age. 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.240 We gone to like the Taylor Swift concert together. 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:36.720 Like they love each other, they're good friends. She just 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.039 said that she was taking her daughter to Indiana, which 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.760 is where I went, and she's like, you should come 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:45.520 with Blakesley, and I was like, I I have been 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:47.479 trying to get one of my children to go to 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:52.280 Indiana because I loved being a Hoosier but neither of 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:55.320 them have been interested until I said, let's go with 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:57.640 Cindy and Taylor. There you go, and she's like, oh, 0:04:57.680 --> 0:04:59.359 I would love that. That would be so fun. I'm like, 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:02.240 oh my gosh, maybe maybe. 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:03.120 She'll actually. 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:05.280 Friend there. 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:09.840 To ask you about that, though, yes, I'm curious that 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.120 if she goes with do you think that she will 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:16.040 expand in the way that she should at college if 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.440 she has the safety of her best friend there. 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:23.240 She's my best friend from growing up and it's they're 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.880 super close. But yes, I do feel like even if 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:30.080 it was her best friend, I think she'd be fine. 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.320 That's how I was like. We went from high school 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.400 to college and it was fine. We expanded, We got 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.159 to meet other friends on our own, and then we 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.760 joined the sorority together because they have like a winter 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:43.760 rush or second semester or whatever. 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:44.400 I like that. 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:47.960 So we got to know our dorm friendriends first, and 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:50.760 we were in different dorms, and then we came back 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:52.039 together that alpha Kai. 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:55.120 So I feel like she would. 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.440 Be fine and it would be great for her to 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:01.680 have at least one friend some person college. Yes, she 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.599 does want to be in California, so it will just 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:09.320 depend on where she goes and the Greek system there. 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.320 So we've talked to Daisy and my old producer Hannah 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:16.360 both went to San Diego State and they were Alpha 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:18.679 Kai's which is what I was, and so like talking 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:24.360 to about it, like she loves Daisy and she's like, oh, 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:25.760 well maybe I'll be in Aphacai. 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.679 So I'm like, ye that, Oh my gosh'd be so happy. 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:33.200 I mean, Rush, it's fine, Like I'll be happy, like 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:34.120 if she's happy. 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.839 But think about your RUSH experience and like like being 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:42.960 chosen it's like your first like really big test in 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.160 college because for so many stories it happens like before 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:49.200 you actually even start in classage you know nobody and 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:52.960 you're in like the judgment that you feel it's so intense, 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.840 Like as a mom, how do you support a kid 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.800 through that? Well, you need to tell me straight up. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.520 Neither one of my daughters rushed. So I have four kids, 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.120 not one of them was None of them were part 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.800 of the Greek system. My sons played a sport, so 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:11.200 they kind of had a community from their sports teams. 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.480 They both played sports in college, but my daughters didn't 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.160 had no interest in the Greek life. 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:20.240 I think honestly, it's just trying to encourage them to 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.560 be who they are, you know, be confident in who 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:28.200 they are. And if you if you shine your light 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.600 and are honest about the kind of person you are 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.160 and are sincere in what you say, you know, all 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:38.320 of those things, If you're genuine and authentic, then you're 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:39.160 going to find your people. 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.680 Yeah, because I think so many people think that I 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.559 got to be really fun and I got to be bright, 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.640 and I got to like show my best outfits, and like, 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:49.680 I mean, certainly, so much of it. 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.600 Is about your part. The way you look. That certainly 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:53.040 is a part. 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:57.920 But like, you want to find your the right tribe, right, 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:01.560 And it's hard because you're I want to be in 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:05.320 like this sorority for the most popular girls, or the 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:09.800 sorority for the most whatever, right, yep, And it's hard 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:12.520 to find the right place for yourself unless you're being 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.440 truly authentic. Yeah, you have to make sure the girls 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.520 and that sort of are like looking for people that 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:17.280 are like them. 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:20.720 Right totally, Because I mean, you can always change, you 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:23.040 can always not live in the house or whatever. But 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:26.800 I feel like just listening to your gut is what 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:30.040 I feel like. I tell my kids, and I will 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.520 continue to tell my kids, is listen to your gut. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:37.600 If you are feeling like this, this environment and these 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:41.440 people make you happy, then go with your gut. If 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.800 you're thinking, I cannot wait to get out of here 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:46.679 and I don't want this conversation. 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.319 So uncomfortable one more minute. 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.640 Then that's telling you something, you know what I mean. 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:54.040 So I feel like it's just about listening to your gut, 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:59.719 talking about like talking with trusted people about what you're experiencing. 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:03.520 Maybe you talk through something or just journaling or something 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:05.319 like that so you can actually. 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:09.679 Like process, I know, because remember and go back. It's exhausting. 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.440 I mean, like those days of rush are there is 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.320 so exhausting and so much pressure on you, And I 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:19.640 think that you should also always remember that. I think 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:22.840 you think it's very one sided that they're choosing you, 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:23.679 you're also choosing that. 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.800 I totally agree and don't forget that you say that 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:30.480 because we're in this whole Bachelor Nation world in Tahoe 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.120 right now. But Bachelor is very much like that. I 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:37.000 have always thought it's not just the lead who is picking. 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:38.920 I said that on my season to the guys' same 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.200 same same. You may not like me exactly. 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:43.760 This is a two way road. 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:48.440 Yeah, if if you, I need you to be choosing 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:50.400 me just as much as I am choosing you. 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.040 I said that very specifically after I had done my 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.080 four hometowns. Yeah, and two of the guys on my 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.120 hometown said kind of like, I'm not sure I'm going 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.040 to get to war. You need to be at the 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:02.800 end of this process. Although I don't think they really 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.679 knew where I needed to be, and I wasn't necessarily 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:07.880 looking for an engagement. I was looking for a person 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:11.480 I wanted to explore outside of bachelor books. Two of 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.960 them said that. So when I did that last Rose 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:18.240 ceremony to go to Exotics, I said, I just want 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.079 to make sure you know that this is a two 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.600 way street. We've now spent enough time together that both 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.240 of us are making decisions, not just me, and that like, 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.880 if you really don't want to go and continue this, 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.520 you need to not accept this Rose. 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:33.440 I can say no, and it's the same it's the 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:34.000 same thing. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:38.600 Yeah, And maybe and this happens that you will get 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.400 down to maybe the last few storties that you like 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.680 your preference one and you know you have your first 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:49.280 and second choice, and you may decide, no matter what happens, 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:51.400 that neither one of those were the right thing, and 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:52.640 you can rush again the next year. 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:53.960 You don't have to accept a bid. 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.319 I know people who I have I did not tons 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:58.600 of recommended. Really, it happened to you. 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:00.760 I did not accept the bed, and again the next. 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.040 Year exactly that has the same thing happened to me 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:04.199 with the Miami dancers. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:05.480 So I tried out. 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.360 First year, didn't make it, second year didn't make it, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:11.840 third year made it. It's all just keep trying. If 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:13.720 it's something that you want to do, then keep doing it. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:14.520 Yeah, keep trying. 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:15.079 To feel like. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.920 There's like this negative connotation if you don't make if 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.160 you are not in a house the first time you 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.920 go through it, that you're like a bad seed or something. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.120 I'm like, whatever, it just didn't. 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.880 Work out for whatever reason, whatever reason knows, and it 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.160 does not mean you're a bad person or there's anything 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:34.720 wrong with you. 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.160 I felt really down at myself when I didn't get 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:38.960 the story that I really wanted to because I had 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:40.640 a really good friend in that story and I knew 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.640 a lot of her friends, and I'm like, how did 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.880 I not get in right, and I felt really, really, 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.439 really hurt, and so I just said, I'm not doing it. 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:50.160 I didn't get in the one I wanted to be in. 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.440 I got in another really good one that I had 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:54.480 a good friend in, but it wasn't my first choice. 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:55.520 Yeah, so I just. 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:55.920 Didn't do it. 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.520 But I spent that entire year wondering if I've done 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.520 the right thing. Oh yeah, not knowing that I was 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.960 going to get in the next year, thinking I probably 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:07.120 ruined my chances completely of being part of the Greek system, 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.920 which I really didn't want to be part of. I 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.840 was a computer science major, so I had a very 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:16.040 boring group of friends based on my major. I swear 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:18.320 I was like, this is not how college is supposed 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:21.200 to be spent in like the depths of the computer 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.160 science building with a bunch of really nerdy people, and 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.880 I was like the only female. So I had to 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:30.120 get Oh, I was such a nerd. I look like this, 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.559 but I was a huge nerd. I was very shy 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:36.480 and awkward, really bad. I minored in math. Besides that, 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.600 I was like especially nerdy, so I needed a sorority 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:42.600 to get to get a social life out of it. 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.640 So I felt really bad about myself when I came 0:12:45.640 --> 0:13:03.120 out of that first year rush, but it all worked out, okay. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.760 You know, one of the questions on our rundown is 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.600 what are a couple of things you wish you knew 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.200 as a mom to help your daughters through the rush process? 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:18.200 And honestly, I feel like it's also life advice, like 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:24.920 know who you are, be true to you and know 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:29.400 that you are loved and it will all work out. 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.840 And if it doesn't work out, I'm here. 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:33.880 Yeah, that's the whole. 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:38.199 Thing, because because it doesn't work out for everybody, and 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.040 you know, I know so many girls it didn't work 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.000 out for it, and it's so scary, which is why 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.680 maybe this is so stressful on the moms, right, maybe 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.200 as stressful as you as. 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:50.120 A mom, as it is as on your daughter, right, 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:52.600 Like I gotta imagine when Blake Slee's going through this, 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:54.600 they're gonna be a nervous wreck. Oh you want to 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.920 be because it doesn't always work out. 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.360 It doesn't have When they get their heart broken, it 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.959 just breaks your heart ten times more. 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.120 That you weren't chosen and I know how like how 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.199 much they just screwed up by not taking you yeah, 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:08.640 and like. 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:10.040 Yeah, and that's what you have to say. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.800 Yeah, I've had to deal with that with Blakesley, with 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.120 you know, if she didn't get into a dance in 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:19.120 her studio or whatever. You know, being like there are 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:22.200 there are reasons that people make certain decisions and you 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.360 might not ever know those reasons. 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:26.840 But just know that you're. 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:31.400 An amazing person and you are so loved and it's 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:32.240 all going to work out. 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:33.200 Because it's so hard. 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.000 It's hard for them to accept that, to believe it 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:35.480 so hard. 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:36.880 But we know it because we're older. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:38.640 Yeah, and we know it's true. 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:42.160 It's true to have some hindsight into like things that 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:46.600 have happened, and it all works out. It really does. 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.240 Everything happens for a reason, it all works out. 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:52.520 I know my daughter, my oldest daughter, Erica, had a 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:53.720 girlfriend who went to. 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.920 Mississippi. Uh huh huge. Oh right. 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:02.280 If you do not get into a house as a freshman, 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.200 you are like lost, you have like no friend group. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:04.920 And she didn't. 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:10.200 She was probably my daughter's most attractive friend, probably had 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.040 the best clothes of all the woes at her little 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.560 Catholic high school and she didn't get in and it 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:17.320 was very shocking. 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:18.960 She ended up leaving ole Miss. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.960 She she she did not finish start there. 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.200 And you know what, that's also the message. 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:27.080 If it doesn't work out and you're not happy, you 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:28.080 can change your mind. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:29.800 She ended up in New York City, like in a 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.040 fashion thing, and I was like, so much better than 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:33.920 old Miss. I know that she loved the idea of 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.720 Ole Miss and the big you know, football school and 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.400 the social life and she was very social. 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:41.200 She ended up in New York City right where she belonged. 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:44.560 To exactly like it's okay to change your mind if 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:45.640 you don't have a great year. 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.240 It is not said in totally. 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:51.320 I think it's a really important thing just in general. 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:53.560 Again we're not just talking about storties, but just talking 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:56.160 about the college experience. That you don't have to stay 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.360 at the college you originally pick. You know, try to kiddish. 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:03.000 Transfer you do. It's not a four year sentence if 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.760 you don't really like it. My oldest daughter transferred from 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:08.760 she went to school in Chicago and she ended up 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.080 back in DC at American University. She just didn't like 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:13.320 she did for a year and a half and then 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:14.760 eventually said this is the place for me. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:15.400 It's all good. 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.320 It really truly is I've learned that. I feel like 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.880 the older I get, the more I'm like, does it 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.360 really matter where you went to college? I don't think so, 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:25.720 does it really matter what? 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:27.320 You know? What I mean, it's just. 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:31.120 Maybe if you went to Harvard, yeah, or you went 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:34.160 to the Naval Academy, right, there are a few places 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.120 that maybe make a difference in your life. 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:38.160 So true the rest of the colleges. 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.720 Yeah, it's not making Maybe your first job, right, might be. 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.520 Dependent on I feel like so much these days it's 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.920 just about networking. Yeah, it's like about who you know 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:51.560 in the contacts that you've made with AI taking over 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:55.920 so much of everything that I feel like it really 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:57.480 truly is about. 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.240 The connections, the personal connections that. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.040 You're tru And that's hard on some kids because they, Yeah, 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.280 you got to think about, like where we are in life, 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:05.320 and we are in a good place. 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:08.040 We have friends who are successful. 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.120 There is a whole generation of kids who are coming up, 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:13.880 you know, and this happens not just for us, It's 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.720 been happening in our whole lives that maybe are the 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.760 first to ever go to college, right, and their parents 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.160 probably don't have friends who are college grads. You can 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.919 help these children, you know what, Like how hard it 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:28.240 would it be right being those kids? They're already working 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:29.919 like swimming upstream a little bit. 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.520 Right, I know, Yeah, I agree. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:38.640 I I'm I feel very lucky that my kids can 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:40.280 go to college, that we can. 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:42.320 I mean, it's it'll. 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:45.720 Be a stressful time for me to pay for two colleges. 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:49.720 Four four three at the same time. 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:51.240 Literally can't. 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.640 Thank you on a firefighter salary. And I don't even 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:56.280 know what I am. 0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:58.359 Going to get you. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.880 Some big old branded that's a that's a public service 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:07.199 asnouncement right now? Interesting there to pay for college. So 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.880 think and look at her, give her some products. 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.040 I'm well, I was just gonna say I'll do whatever 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:14.560 you want. That's not. 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.280 But the bar has gotten a little lower now that 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.439 college tuition is on the table. 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.000 My eyeballs are like, wow, I know. 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.720 That is one thing I wish there needs to We 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:30.480 need to actually do a podcast. Here's another idea, Heather, 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:36.560 an idea about how to prep for when your kids 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.280 are older, because there's so many things I wish I 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.560 would have done when my kids were younger that would 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:46.400 set themselves up for success as they are as they 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.959 launch as they soar from my nest, like all the 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:53.240 things that I wish I would have known back then, 0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:57.800 like like prep being for college and making that massive 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.240 decision and going on tours when they were in middle 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.080 school high school? 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:03.480 Did that? 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:04.120 Yes? 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.400