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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to a new episode of

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Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Cat and I'm the host.

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Speaker 1: If you are new and you don't know what couch

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Speaker 1: Talks is, it is the special bonus episode of You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy where I answer questions that you guys send

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Speaker 1: to me directly and you send those two Catherine at

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Speaker 1: You Need Therapy podcast dot com. And before we get

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Speaker 1: into anything, quick reminder that even though I'm answering questions

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Speaker 1: that you guys sent to me, this still, like always,

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Speaker 1: doesn't count as therapy. It's not a replacement for therapy,

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Speaker 1: but it's still can be helpful, and it still might

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Speaker 1: lead you to uh seeking your own therapy or digging

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Speaker 1: deeper in your own therapy that you're already doing. Now.

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Speaker 1: We always keep these questions anonymous, just because you know,

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Speaker 1: I like to maintain everybody's safety, so we don't ever

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Speaker 1: say your name or any identifying information, so you can

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Speaker 1: feel really comfortable sending in your questions. I sometimes even

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Speaker 1: change the stuff up a little bit to make it

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Speaker 1: less noticeable. Not that anybody would ever be able to

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Speaker 1: figure out anyway, but I just like to be on

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Speaker 1: the safe side. So today we're gonna do one question,

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Speaker 1: and I have zero announcements, so we will just get

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Speaker 1: right into it. So here is the question. Hi Cat,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for your podcast and all you

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Speaker 1: do has really been helpful for me, especially in the

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Speaker 1: last year. I am in my late twenties and I've

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Speaker 1: been working in the marketing world since I graduated college.

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Speaker 1: About three years into working in the real world, I

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Speaker 1: started having these feelings nudging me that I essentially boiled

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Speaker 1: down to the fact that I felt like I chose

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Speaker 1: the wrong career path. And now I'm at this point

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Speaker 1: where I have put in a lot of work and

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Speaker 1: climbed the ladder to get to a good place career wise,

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Speaker 1: but I'm unsatisfied and have a really strong desire to

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Speaker 1: do something different. However, there are these voices in my

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Speaker 1: head saying, one, you'll be too far behind if you

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Speaker 1: start over. Two, if you leave where you are now,

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Speaker 1: you have wasted so much of your time, and three

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Speaker 1: what if you don't even like the new thing. Then

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Speaker 1: I listened to your episode with your friend Luke, and

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Speaker 1: I was really excited to hear about someone going back

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Speaker 1: to school after having a career in a different field

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Speaker 1: while not being entirely sure what the outcome of going

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Speaker 1: back to school would be. I am at the point

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Speaker 1: where I feel like I need to make a decision

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Speaker 1: to either accept what I am doing or take a

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Speaker 1: leap of faith and go back to school. I'm at

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Speaker 1: a loss. I know that you can't tell me what

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Speaker 1: to do, but I would love to hear you talk

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Speaker 1: more about this. Are there any helpful questions you would

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Speaker 1: ask someone in my position, or words of wisdom you

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Speaker 1: would offer. Thank you so much for all you do. Ps.

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Speaker 1: I have loved listening to you and Amy on the

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Speaker 1: Fifth Thing on Tuesday mornings. Okay, if you guys don't

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Speaker 1: know what the Fifth Thing is, then you're missing out

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Speaker 1: because the Fifth Thing is the Tuesday episode of Amy

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Speaker 1: Brown's podcast Four Things with Amy Brown, and on Tuesdays

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Speaker 1: I co hosted with her and we talk about the

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Speaker 1: most random things. And sometimes it's like therapistic mental health wise.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just literally we just go off on a

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Speaker 1: tangent about stuff fast with us. Who knows, but it's

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Speaker 1: just like a nice, fun, light way, usually a light

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Speaker 1: way to start your morning, to fee listen in the morning,

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Speaker 1: or like drive to work or drive home. I don't

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Speaker 1: know it's fun. You should listen to it Tuesday's fifth Thing.

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Speaker 1: But you can search for things with Amy Brown to

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Speaker 1: find it. Okay, So let's get to the actual question,

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Speaker 1: which I love this so much. I have so many

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Speaker 1: things that I want to say, and I want to

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Speaker 1: say before I start that this is a really tough

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Speaker 1: spot to be in. I have a lot of empathy

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Speaker 1: for where you are, and if anybody else is like oh,

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Speaker 1: I feel that like for where you are to Also,

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Speaker 1: in addition to this episode, I want to encourage you

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Speaker 1: to listen to the episode I did with Jonathan Fields,

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Speaker 1: as he also speaks to career shifts from his own

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Speaker 1: experience as well, and that episode is called work Life Blend.

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Speaker 1: You can just type that in and search you need

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Speaker 1: therapy work Life Blend or you need therapy Jonathan Fields.

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Speaker 1: Actually I'll link it in the show notes to make

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Speaker 1: it easy for you, guys. Honestly, I've always thought it

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Speaker 1: to be very strange that we decide at like eighteen,

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Speaker 1: when we go to college, because that's like they I mean,

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Speaker 1: generally when people go to college after high school, we

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Speaker 1: decide then what we want to do for like the

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Speaker 1: rest of our lives, and then there's this expectation that

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Speaker 1: we should like stay in that lane forever, and that

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Speaker 1: is kind of crazy to me. And I know, for me,

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Speaker 1: I about changed my major seven times in college because

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Speaker 1: I did not have any idea what I wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: and thankfully I kind of fell into the path that

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Speaker 1: I found myself on and I'm very grateful for that.

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Speaker 1: And at the same time, I still have left space

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Speaker 1: in my life that I might not want to be

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Speaker 1: a therapist for the rest of my life. Who knows,

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Speaker 1: and I could be wanting to do the same thing

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Speaker 1: in five ten years, and I think that's kind of exciting.

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Speaker 1: I also want to add before going deeper into this,

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Speaker 1: that I do realize that changing careers and going back

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Speaker 1: to school isn't as easy as just making the decision

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Speaker 1: and just like going in and doing it. There is

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of privilege that needs to be acknowledged

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Speaker 1: for anybody that can just do that, and some people

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Speaker 1: have to weigh the possibilities in a different way because

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Speaker 1: of finances or family roles, or kids, or just like

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Speaker 1: any kind of life circumstance. And I just want to

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Speaker 1: say that before I get into the specifics, I don't

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Speaker 1: get that feeling from this email that any of those

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Speaker 1: things are getting in the way. So I'm going to

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Speaker 1: talk about this with the assumption that you have the

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Speaker 1: ability to maybe quit your job and go back to

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Speaker 1: school or go back to school while you're working it

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Speaker 1: and not be an issue here. What I hear the

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Speaker 1: issues being are these three voices in your head that

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Speaker 1: you mentioned. You'll be too far behind if you start over.

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Speaker 1: If you leave where you are, you have wasted so

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Speaker 1: much of your time, and three what if you don't

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Speaker 1: like it? So we're just going to break down each one.

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Speaker 1: Number one, you'll be too far behind if you start over. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess what does this mean? And this is actually

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Speaker 1: a question that I would ask this person, what does

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Speaker 1: it mean to be too far behind? What are you

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Speaker 1: behind of? Who were you behind? I would really encourage

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Speaker 1: you to answer those questions. All I can do right

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Speaker 1: now is assume that you're saying you're going to be

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Speaker 1: too far behind from the societal expectations of where you

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Speaker 1: should be career wise at certain points in your life.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know. I hold the idea that we

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Speaker 1: are never behind where we're supposed to be on our

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Speaker 1: own path, because we each have individual paths, So like

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Speaker 1: the checkpoints are different based on our own journey. Just

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Speaker 1: because one person might be let's say, a licensed therapist

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Speaker 1: at twenty six, it doesn't mean that someone who goes

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Speaker 1: back to school and becomes a licensed therapist at thirty

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Speaker 1: five is behind the year old. There's no age that

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to become a licensed therapist, Like, that's not

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Speaker 1: in a handbook anywhere. The age you're supposed to become

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Speaker 1: It is the age you become a period. And I

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Speaker 1: just really believe that I would be more worried about

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Speaker 1: never align myself the opportunity to become a thing that

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Speaker 1: I want to become, rather than getting there later than

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Speaker 1: the norm. Two. If you leave where you are, you

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Speaker 1: will have wasted so much of your time. So I

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Speaker 1: would say here is like, tell me more about how

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Speaker 1: you wasted your time. Did you not accomplish anything during

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Speaker 1: the five six seven years that you were working in

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Speaker 1: this field? Did you not make any money? Did you

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Speaker 1: not learn anything? Did you learn negative things? Did you

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Speaker 1: make dear relationships? Did you have zero experiences? Tell me

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Speaker 1: more about how your time was wasted. What does wasting

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Speaker 1: your time mean to me? This is a very close

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Speaker 1: minded way to view how our time is useful, What

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Speaker 1: makes time and experience is useful to you? What makes

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Speaker 1: things meaningful? Maybe answer those questions, and then once you do,

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Speaker 1: I would doubt that the answer to those two questions

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Speaker 1: would align with the statement that you would have wasted

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Speaker 1: your time. I get, like, if I can use some assumptions,

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Speaker 1: I would get why you would say that. If we

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Speaker 1: boil this down to what I think you're saying, I

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Speaker 1: just don't actually think that it's valid because I think

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Speaker 1: if you kind of went back and answered those things

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Speaker 1: that I just said, you wouldn't be saying you wasted

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Speaker 1: your time. It probably is leading you to a different

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Speaker 1: thought underneath that. So maybe go back and journal about

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Speaker 1: some of that stuff. Now, Three, what if I don't

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Speaker 1: like it? Well, what if you don't like it? I

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Speaker 1: love when people ask me what I questions because I

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Speaker 1: just throw it back. Well, okay, what if? And maybe

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Speaker 1: why don't you even come up with the worst case scenario? Here?

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Speaker 1: Will it kill you? You out of dead, unable to survive?

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Speaker 1: What's the worst case scenario? If you are able to

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Speaker 1: survive and you're not dead in this worst case, then

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Speaker 1: would figuring out if you do like it be worth it. Now,

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Speaker 1: only you can answer those questions, and there's not a

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Speaker 1: wrong answer here. So if you say no, that worst

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Speaker 1: case isn't worth it, then maybe that might lead you

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Speaker 1: to what decision you need to make. But maybe the

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Speaker 1: answer would be yes, and then this number three wouldn't

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Speaker 1: even better this number three? What if I don't like it?

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Speaker 1: This question? It's very much rooted in fear. And you know,

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Speaker 1: fear is not bad. It's pretty useful, but it's only

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Speaker 1: useful if we allow ourselves to use it, rather than

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Speaker 1: we allow the fear to use us. We know that

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Speaker 1: from listening to the podcast if you have been here

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Speaker 1: for a while, we know that fear pops up when

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Speaker 1: we care about things. And so maybe this is telling

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Speaker 1: you that you really care about finding a job or

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Speaker 1: a career that you enjoy, and that's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. But not trying something because you're afraid you

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Speaker 1: might not like it doesn't help you find a career

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Speaker 1: that you enjoy. It actually will just keep you from it.

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Speaker 1: So not doing this because of your fear is the

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Speaker 1: actual opposite of what your fear is actually trying to

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Speaker 1: pop up in here and help you with So something

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Speaker 1: else to ask and think about. Here is what is

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Speaker 1: my fear saying to me? Have a conversation with it

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Speaker 1: rather than just stopping at this is scary, Like what

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Speaker 1: if you try to make your decision with fear fear

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Speaker 1: rather than buy your fear? Now in the end, you know,

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Speaker 1: because you already said it in your email, but you

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Speaker 1: have to be the one that makes this decision. And

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you what to do. And I'm sure, actually,

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Speaker 1: if you are honest, you really already know what you

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Speaker 1: want to do. But change involves a lot of fear.

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Speaker 1: And what I want to say right here is that

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Speaker 1: fear doesn't always just means stop, protect yourself, run away.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it means that, and oftentimes it can also be

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Speaker 1: saying something completely opposite. But to hear what your fear

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Speaker 1: is actually saying, you have to listen and you have

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Speaker 1: to have that conversation with it and not just assume

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Speaker 1: what it means based on what you know about fear

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Speaker 1: from your past or someone else's past. So I wish

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Speaker 1: you the very best here, and I hope that this

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Speaker 1: is a helpful. I don't know what I would call

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Speaker 1: us a guide, but this was a hopeful you know,

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Speaker 1: ten minutes in this decision making process for you, and

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Speaker 1: I hope that you also let us know what you

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Speaker 1: decide because I would love to know. I also am

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Speaker 1: very cure is as to what it is that you

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Speaker 1: want to go do. What is the next career that

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Speaker 1: is on your mind if it's not marketing. You know,

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Speaker 1: when I get a little bit frustrated at work sometimes

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Speaker 1: or overwhelmed, I I always say that, you know, it

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Speaker 1: might be nice to just go work at the post

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Speaker 1: office or something. But then I go to the post

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Speaker 1: office and I realized that it's not a very happy place.

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Speaker 1: I feel very nervous there myself. It gives me a

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Speaker 1: lot of anxiety. But I think what I used to

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Speaker 1: mean by that, it's like, oh, it might be nice

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Speaker 1: to go work at a job where there's like less

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Speaker 1: some emotion involved, But it just feels like that place

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Speaker 1: is a different kind of emotion. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I've even talking about. Uh, anyway, please

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Speaker 1: let us know what it is that you are, um

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Speaker 1: wanting to go do it, and if you go do it,

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Speaker 1: I am curious and I'm going to just move on now. Um,

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Speaker 1: if you guys have any questions that you want me

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Speaker 1: to answer, you can send them to Catherine at you

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast dot com. Um, then just listen in

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Speaker 1: every week to see if I answer your question, because

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Speaker 1: I do not usually em on the people back to

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Speaker 1: let them know, because you know already have a lot

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Speaker 1: going on, and I don't want to set myself up

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Speaker 1: for failure and say that I'm gonna do it and

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Speaker 1: then I don't, and then you know that whole thing.

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Speaker 1: So I don't tell you that I'm going to email you,

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Speaker 1: and I just say listen. UM. So if you want

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Speaker 1: me to answer one of your questions, send it there. Um.

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Speaker 1: If you want to follow the podcast, you can on

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Speaker 1: Instagram you Need Therapy Podcasts, and you can follow me

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Speaker 1: at cat dot de fata as well. I would love that.

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Speaker 1: And like always, guys, I hope that you have the

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Speaker 1: day you need to have. I will talk to you

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Speaker 1: on Monday,