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Speaker 5: No one likes to talk about money. Am I saving enough?

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Speaker 3: Hi, this is Joel and Victoria.

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Speaker 6: Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting

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Speaker 6: the ministry.

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Speaker 7: If you enjoy today's message, why don't you be a

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Speaker 7: blessing and share it with a friend.

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Speaker 6: We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in

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Speaker 6: your life.

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Speaker 8: Welcome to this live virtual event hosted by Books a Million.

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Speaker 8: I'm here with Joel and Victoria Ostein, and we're going

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Speaker 8: to have a conversation today about first and foremost. Joel's

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Speaker 8: new book, Peaceful on Purpose that released today. We're also

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Speaker 8: to have a conversation as well about family, life, relationships, ministry,

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Speaker 8: and so much more. Well, Joel new book released today.

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Speaker 8: Thoughts how you're feeling about it.

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Speaker 3: Very excited, always excited to put out a new book.

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Speaker 3: And thank you guys.

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Speaker 6: For being with us today. Thanks for buying my books,

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Speaker 6: and we just speak blessings over you. We'll take the

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Speaker 6: next hour if you have some time to just like

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Speaker 6: Nick said, talk about life and family and maybe answer

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Speaker 6: some questions. I was telling them guys earlier. Y'all hear

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Speaker 6: me speak all the time. I'd rather maybe talk about

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Speaker 6: some you know, personal things, maybe a little bit different

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Speaker 6: than a normal teaching, but just believe you know Nick

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Speaker 6: the book. You know, there's a lot in life that

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Speaker 6: can weigh us down these days. And I don't have

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Speaker 6: to tell you, but with the pandemic and just life

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Speaker 6: in general, there can be stress and worry and always

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Speaker 6: something going on.

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Speaker 3: I believe if you're going to stay peaceful, you have

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Speaker 3: to do it on purpose. In other words, you have

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Speaker 3: to make a decision.

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Speaker 6: And my thought I use the analogy in the book,

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Speaker 6: like in your car you have a spare tire. You're

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Speaker 6: not planning on having a flat, but just in case

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Speaker 6: something happens, you hit a pothole or something doesn't go right,

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Speaker 6: you have.

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Speaker 3: That spare tire.

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Speaker 6: You've made provision and think in case something happens. I

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Speaker 6: think it's the same way with peace plan. We get

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Speaker 6: up in the morning, let's plan to have a good day,

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Speaker 6: plan on great things happening. But I think at the

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Speaker 6: same time we should make the decision no matter what

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Speaker 6: comes my way today, I will stay in peace because

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Speaker 6: you know, we may go out it's expecting to have

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Speaker 6: a good day, and you know what, somebody's rude to us,

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Speaker 6: or our plans don't work out, we go through some delays. Well,

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Speaker 6: if you're not prepared, if you hadn't made that provision,

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Speaker 6: it's easy to get stressed and oh man, I can't

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Speaker 6: believe this didn't work out. But you know when you've

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Speaker 6: already made that decision. And I believe Nick, the reason

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Speaker 6: we could make that decision is because we know.

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Speaker 3: God's in control.

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Speaker 6: The scripture says our steps are ordered by the Lord.

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Speaker 6: So I like to remind myself in the good times

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Speaker 6: and in the tough times, God still ordered my steps.

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Speaker 6: He's still in control. Nothing that happens to us as

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Speaker 6: a surprise to God. So I just bel that life

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Speaker 6: is too short to live it upset and worried.

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Speaker 3: Once we live this day.

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Speaker 6: May eighteenth, twenty twenty one, we can never get it back.

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Speaker 6: And that doesn't mean we don't have difficulties. I know

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Speaker 6: we all do, but I believe that's what faith is

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Speaker 6: all about. Hey, I should be worried, upset, you know, frustrated,

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Speaker 6: But you know what, I'm at peace God.

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Speaker 4: I know you're on the throne.

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Speaker 3: When you do that, you can go be good to somebody.

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Speaker 6: You can have a song of praise instead of complaining,

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Speaker 6: you can have a smile and instead of being depressed.

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Speaker 6: So I hope you'll make the decision. You know that

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Speaker 6: you're going to choose to stay in peace, that you're

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Speaker 6: going to know that God's in control, that you're going

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Speaker 6: to do it on purpose.

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Speaker 4: That's awesome.

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Speaker 8: As you guys know, you can submit questions throughout this conversation,

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Speaker 8: personal questions, leadership, ministry questions, any questions you would like.

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Speaker 8: I know we already have questions coming in a lot

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Speaker 8: of questions that we've gathered Joel and Victoria. There's a

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Speaker 8: question here about just a person who's young, who's facing

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Speaker 8: anxiety and facing fear with everything going on, going through

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Speaker 8: the pandemic. Any advice specifically that you would give to

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Speaker 8: a young person who's maybe overwhelmed with anxiety right now

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Speaker 8: trying to discover peace. I know you mentioned it broadly,

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Speaker 8: but any specific tips as it relates to someone who's young.

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Speaker 7: Well, you know, it's interesting because this is such a

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Speaker 7: pandemic with the young people. I was just praying with

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Speaker 7: one young person today and they were very pressured into

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Speaker 7: achieving and they felt like they really I think deep

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Speaker 7: down they didn't feel prepared for their opportunity, and so

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Speaker 7: you could see the anxiety of trying to just measure

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Speaker 7: up to these demands in their life. And I think

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Speaker 7: that for a young person it can be overwhelming, especially

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Speaker 7: with social media, especially with the expectation put on them.

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Speaker 9: So what I just said was, you know what, let's

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Speaker 9: just pray.

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Speaker 7: Let's pray, because really that is our best weapon, is prayer.

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Speaker 7: And it was interesting because by the end of the prayer,

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Speaker 7: I could see is just relief come on on this

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Speaker 7: young girl, and she was just like, Okay, you know,

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Speaker 7: I had just a better perspective. And my prayer was

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Speaker 7: simply that you know, she could rest in what God

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Speaker 7: had given her and that she do just has gifts

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Speaker 7: and talents, and that God knows how she is made,

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Speaker 7: and you know he will work with her personality, but

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Speaker 7: he's gonna help her rest in who she is.

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Speaker 9: And just you know, some simple prayer like that. And

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Speaker 9: it was just amazing the demeanor on her face. She

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Speaker 9: just felt so much.

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Speaker 7: I could just feel her relaxing and just being able to.

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Speaker 9: Take it all in.

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Speaker 7: So, you know, these young people they need support, they

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Speaker 7: need our support. They look at what's going on, and

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Speaker 7: the pressures the social media gives is just really really ridiculous,

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Speaker 7: you know, the pressure you can put on yourself in

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Speaker 7: comparison and trying to measure up to all these things

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Speaker 7: that are not really they're not real. You know, I've

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Speaker 7: noticed about social media most things are filtered, you know,

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Speaker 7: And I'm like, you can see at the top the

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Speaker 7: filter usually they use if they're you know, on it,

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Speaker 7: and I'm just like, everything is filtered, everything has its

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Speaker 7: best face forward.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 9: The thing about it is you don't need any filters

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Speaker 9: with God. God.

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Speaker 7: God doesn't need you to put on a filter, a facade,

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Speaker 7: a fake face. He wants you just the way you are.

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Speaker 7: He wants you to come to him with your problems,

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Speaker 7: with your disappointments.

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Speaker 9: He wants you to.

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Speaker 7: Find hope in him and trust in him. But that's

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Speaker 7: what I love about God. When you have a relationship

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Speaker 7: with him, you can talk to him about the things

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Speaker 7: that are bothering you. But there's one key to that,

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Speaker 7: and that is you have to believe that he's listening.

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Speaker 7: You have to believe that he cares, and you have

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Speaker 7: to believe that he.

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Speaker 9: Wants to help you.

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Speaker 7: And if you can put that belief system in place,

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Speaker 7: and then you can have a conversation with God.

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Speaker 9: I believe that it will help in these.

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Speaker 7: Trying times of pressure and anxiety that young people are facing,

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Speaker 7: but also all of us are facing.

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Speaker 6: You know, I think Nick too, and adding to what

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Speaker 6: Victoria's saying, for a young person or a person that's anyone,

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Speaker 6: and it's this principle that what belongs to you is

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Speaker 6: going to come to you. You know, sometimes I think,

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Speaker 6: you know, whether we're young or old, you think, oh man,

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Speaker 6: you know what, I missed my chance? Or somebody married

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Speaker 6: the guy I wanted to marry, somebody got the promotion

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Speaker 6: that I wanted, but somebody bought that house that I

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Speaker 6: thought should.

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Speaker 3: Have been mine.

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Speaker 4: But you have to come back to this.

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Speaker 6: You keep honoring God with your life, and what belongs

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Speaker 6: to you won't go to anybody else. At the right time,

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Speaker 6: God will bring it into your life. So I just

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Speaker 6: encourage it to you know, not have to live frustrated and.

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Speaker 3: Wondering when it's going to happen.

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Speaker 6: Just stay in that place of peace, knowing that God's

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Speaker 6: going to bring the right people, the right opportunities.

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Speaker 3: He's going to cause solutions to problems.

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Speaker 6: May not happen on our timetable, but you know, I

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Speaker 6: go back to that key.

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Speaker 3: You know, Nick, from the time.

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Speaker 6: I was a little boy, I always taught to honor

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Speaker 6: God with my life and are not perfect. It doesn't

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Speaker 6: mean you don't mistakes, but you have that desire to

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Speaker 6: please God. You keep in first place. And I saw

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Speaker 6: God brought this building to us. We tried to get

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Speaker 6: other property to build something on, but you know what

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Speaker 6: this building was, you know was destined to be ours.

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Speaker 6: There are things that God is already destined to be ours,

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Speaker 6: to be yours. I call them those marked moments. So

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Speaker 6: you know, as a young person, you know what am

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Speaker 6: I going to do with my future? I got to

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Speaker 6: keep up over here, I got to do this well,

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Speaker 6: you know what, the right doors are going to open.

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Speaker 3: And I would encourage you to be your.

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Speaker 6: Best right where you are while you're waiting maybe for

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Speaker 6: God to change something. Why maybe you're you're waiting for

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Speaker 6: a bigger position, you're waiting for a scholarship to come through.

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Speaker 3: Be your best right where you are. You know, I

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Speaker 3: think that's a key.

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Speaker 6: If you'll prove to God that you will be faithful

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Speaker 6: where you are, then I believe God can open up

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Speaker 6: new doors.

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Speaker 3: I think the mistake we make.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes is, you know what, this is not where I

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Speaker 6: want to be, So I'm gonna slack off or i

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Speaker 6: want to be depressed. I'm not going to be my best.

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Speaker 6: But you know what, you got to say God, this

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Speaker 6: is where you have.

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Speaker 4: Me right now.

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Speaker 6: May not be where I want to be, but I

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Speaker 6: want to be my best. I won't be good to somebody.

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Speaker 6: Think about a story nick who was that I don't know,

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Speaker 6: well you would know the name anyway, Somebody told me

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Speaker 6: they got laid off and it was a he had

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Speaker 6: a good position and it was not fair. But they

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Speaker 6: didn't sit around at home. They came up to the

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Speaker 6: church and volunteered, like for month and month. Now they

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Speaker 6: go on job interviews and do everything they could, but

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Speaker 6: instead of sitting at home being depressed, they'd come up

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Speaker 6: and volunteer and answer the phone for us, pray for people,

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Speaker 6: and just do random things. And I thought that was

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Speaker 6: that was a great seed that they were so and

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Speaker 6: eventually a great door opened up, something better than he

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Speaker 6: ever imagined. But I went back to think, I wonder

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Speaker 6: if that would have happened if he had not, if

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Speaker 6: he had just been.

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Speaker 3: Depressed and bitter where he was. I think he made

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Speaker 3: the choice.

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Speaker 6: You know what, I almost shine right where I am,

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Speaker 6: and I think about it. Says our steps are ordered

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Speaker 6: by the Lord that tells.

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Speaker 4: Me where we are.

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Speaker 3: We're at the where, at the right place.

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Speaker 6: It may be a difficult time, but if you know

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Speaker 6: that God's ordered your steps, that means He's going to

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Speaker 6: bring good out of it. It's a step on the

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Speaker 6: way to your destiny. And I used Joseph a lot

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Speaker 6: in the scriptures, but he went through one bad break

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Speaker 6: after another, but when you step back, it always leading

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Speaker 6: him to where God was taking him, but yet they

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Speaker 6: were difficult times. So you know, if you're in a

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Speaker 6: difficult time, a door's not opening, or you know, maybe

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Speaker 6: you just don't feel like you got more in you,

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Speaker 6: but you feel kind of stuck.

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Speaker 3: Keep in your best where you are.

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Speaker 6: You've got some marked moments where God's going to open

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Speaker 6: some doors because you've stayed faithful, you've kept honoring him.

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Speaker 6: He's going to bring the right to your things to

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Speaker 6: you as well.

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Speaker 7: That's so good because sometimes we can get so caught

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Speaker 7: up in our performance. You know that we have to perform,

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Speaker 7: we have to perform perfectly, and that perfection when we

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Speaker 7: forget to do our best, like Joel's saying, and rely

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Speaker 7: on God to do what we can't do. And I

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Speaker 7: think that takes the pressure off. It's just like Joel said,

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Speaker 7: be your best and don't feel like you have to

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Speaker 7: perform to make things happen. But God's got the plan

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Speaker 7: that's unfolding.

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Speaker 9: So that's so good. You know that already makes me

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Speaker 9: feel relaxed again.

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Speaker 8: We're talking about Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose. Another

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Speaker 8: question that has come in and it kind of relates to,

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Speaker 8: you know, the young generation, But what are some things

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Speaker 8: that you guys do as parents to spiritually invest into

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Speaker 8: your family. A lot of questions from parents moms asking

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Speaker 8: what can we do to help guide our kids in

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Speaker 8: the right direction. Any practical things or things that you

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Speaker 8: guys do.

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Speaker 6: Well, one thing in Victor, you speak to this, but

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Speaker 6: one thing is we Nick, we try to model the

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Speaker 6: way we want our children to live.

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Speaker 3: And again we're not perfect.

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Speaker 4: But I think, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, one of the things you can do is be

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Speaker 3: a good.

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Speaker 6: Example, be loving, be kind, be respectful. I think that's

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Speaker 6: a that's a big part of it. I guess just

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Speaker 6: when I think about growing up, my parents never made

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Speaker 6: us come to church, but we always wanted to come

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Speaker 6: to church because that's where our friends were and that's

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Speaker 6: where we had fun. We learned about God, but we

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Speaker 6: had fun as well.

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Speaker 3: So I saw my parents. They were the same on.

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Speaker 6: The pulpit in front of people as they were at home.

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Speaker 6: And I saw my parents, you know, in the morning,

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Speaker 6: reading their Bible and taking time for God, treating people right,

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Speaker 6: you know, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, both of them. But I remember my dad. It

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Speaker 3: didn't matter who you were. He he loved everybody. He

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Speaker 3: was for everybody.

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Speaker 6: Well, that made a big impression on me to you know,

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Speaker 6: how I lived my life. So I think a lot

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Speaker 6: of it is by example, and you know, I think

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Speaker 6: that's that's a big, big.

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Speaker 3: Part of it.

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Speaker 6: Of course, you you know, you speak faith into your

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Speaker 6: children as well, but leading by example is one thing.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, you know that old saying more is caught than taught.

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Speaker 7: You know, they're like video recorders on legs, so they're

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Speaker 7: taking everything in and they're so smart they know when

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Speaker 7: there's when you're acting one way at home preaching something

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Speaker 7: else to them. But I think one of the things

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Speaker 7: that I feel like that I was able to accomplish

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Speaker 7: with my children was early, early on, I communicated with them.

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Speaker 7: And it started even as simple as reading books together

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Speaker 7: and just when they were little, you know, reading books

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Speaker 7: like at night time or when you know, during the

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Speaker 7: day when there was some time.

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Speaker 9: And it's just like an open dialogue because it's not

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Speaker 9: just about reading a book, but it's.

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Speaker 7: About talking about the book, talking about the animals in

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Speaker 7: the book. And so it's it's like you keep this

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Speaker 7: dialogue going with your children. And I think that when

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Speaker 7: they're older and then you have to say some things

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Speaker 7: that are like guidance their parental things they're not like,

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Speaker 7: where did you come from?

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Speaker 9: You know, you haven't talked to me up to this point.

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Speaker 9: Now you're telling you what to do, you know.

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Speaker 7: I think that's super important because when they're sixteen going

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Speaker 7: out on their first date, that's not when you start

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Speaker 7: telling them all they're what they should be doing. You've

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Speaker 7: already planted in them a good foundation. And so even

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Speaker 7: to this day, I have a twenty two year old

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Speaker 7: and a twenty six year old, and I can talk

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Speaker 7: to them. I'm learning that I can't talk to them

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Speaker 7: the same way I did when they were ten. I

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Speaker 7: talked to them as an adult. Now I phrase my

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Speaker 7: questions differently. So I'm very aware of how I talk

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Speaker 7: to them because I want to keep those lines of

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Speaker 7: communication open. So I tried to take their cues and learn.

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Speaker 7: I just really try to learn. I think I try

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Speaker 7: to learn still with Joel, how to talk to him.

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Speaker 7: I know when he's feels a lot of pressure. I

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Speaker 7: know when he doesn't want to talk. I'll never forget

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Speaker 7: when he first started ministering his father past and before that,

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Speaker 7: it was like a different world. We could just do

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Speaker 7: and go and we had a lot of responsibility. But

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Speaker 7: it wasn't the same, and I'll never forget he. It

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Speaker 7: was one Thursday afternoon and he was at home and

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Speaker 7: he was having lunch and he was studying, and so

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Speaker 7: I was like, Oh, he's having lunch.

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Speaker 9: I'm going to go have lunch with him.

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Speaker 7: So I got some lunch and I sat down with him,

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Speaker 7: and I'm trying to talk to him, and he's not

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Speaker 7: saying anything.

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Speaker 9: And I keep trying to talk to him.

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Speaker 7: And he's just nodding, and I'm like, Wow, he's so rude,

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Speaker 7: you know, because he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

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Speaker 7: I realized, you know, that was like starting this new

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Speaker 7: pattern in our life. I realized he's took on a

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Speaker 7: responsibility that was taking a ton of his time and

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Speaker 7: a ton of his energy. Then I started studying his

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Speaker 7: patterns and how Thursday was a very important day for him.

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Speaker 7: He would start writing his message on Thursday and he

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Speaker 7: wanted to stay focused.

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Speaker 9: So I really adapted to that pattern and I studied him.

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Speaker 7: That's basically what I did, and I adapted, and I

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Speaker 7: really think that that helped our relationship.

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Speaker 9: I think it helped our transition a lot. And I

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Speaker 9: think that's just what we have to do.

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Speaker 7: If we want to have good relationships with each other,

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Speaker 7: we have to be mindful of the other person, and

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Speaker 7: not just what we want to say or what we

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Speaker 7: want them to say to us, but really mindful. And

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Speaker 7: I think when you do that, you can open lines

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Speaker 7: of communication to your husband, your boss, your friends, your children.

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Speaker 7: You know, just to be aware, self aware of how

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Speaker 7: you're saying things and how you're doing things, because really,

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Speaker 7: you can have all the money world, you can have

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Speaker 7: all the opportunity in the world, but if you don't

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Speaker 7: have good relationships, you really have nothing, because that's the

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Speaker 7: richness of life. So it's really worth it's worth developing

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Speaker 7: your communication skills.

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Speaker 9: I think.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, another thing we started doing Victoria got me to

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Speaker 6: do it that it's praying for our children at different

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Speaker 6: times of day, and so on our phone, we set

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Speaker 6: an alarm at ten and at five ten am, at

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Speaker 6: five pm ten am to pray for Jonathan, a five

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Speaker 6: pm to pray for Alexander. So you know, the alarm

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Speaker 6: goes off and it may take ten seconds, but you

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Speaker 6: know what, I know, wherever Victoria is in this world,

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Speaker 6: that she's going to take a minute and we're going

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Speaker 6: to pray together.

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Speaker 9: We're in agree.

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Speaker 6: And you know, the scripture talks about when you know,

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Speaker 6: when you're in agreement, it's you. You know, one can

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Speaker 6: chage a thousand and two can put ten thousand flight.

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Speaker 6: I like to say, when you're in agreement, you're ten

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Speaker 6: times more powerful.

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Speaker 3: So how do these just little things like that too?

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Speaker 6: Now? Granted, our children a little older, but you know,

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Speaker 6: I think you never stopped praying for that.

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Speaker 7: What's so funny is sometimes I won't always have them

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Speaker 7: off in my hand. And so now Alexandra, who who

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Speaker 7: just graduated from college and she lives with us, She's like,

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Speaker 7: there's your phone, Mom, it's five o'clock. That's what you're

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Speaker 7: supposed to You're supposed to be praying for me. So

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Speaker 7: she knows, and I would think that's a good feeling.

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Speaker 7: I mean, she knows that her mom and dad are

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Speaker 7: praying for her. Her my son knows that we pray

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Speaker 7: for them. In fact, when we're talking and discussing, I'll

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Speaker 7: just say, hey, let's just take a second to pray,

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Speaker 7: you know, and my children will pray.

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Speaker 9: They've always prayed. I remember that. Sometimes I can feel

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Speaker 9: my son kind of lean into that prayer, you know,

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Speaker 9: So it becomes just something that you do. It's what

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Speaker 9: they're accustomed to.

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Speaker 7: And then when they get older, I believe that they're

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Speaker 7: going to pray with their children and with their spouses

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Speaker 7: and pray for themselves in these difficult times because Lord

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Speaker 7: knows we need him, we need to pray.

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Speaker 4: So that's fantastic.

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Speaker 8: There's there's a chapter in here about not trying to

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Speaker 8: control everything. Yeah, and there's even been a lot of

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Speaker 8: questions that have come in from people about just not

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Speaker 8: trying really hard not to control, letting go of things

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Speaker 8: that have happened in the past, or letting go of

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Speaker 8: frustrations that they're working through. Unpack that a little bit

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Speaker 8: for people who are watching.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the power of that.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think so, Niked. It's an important principle to

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Speaker 6: stay in peace. I think a lot of times we're

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Speaker 6: frustrated because we're trying to control things that we can't control.

444
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 6: I mean, we can't make other people do what's right.

445
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 6: You can't make the traffic be right or make the

446
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,120
Speaker 6: medical report turn around. We can do what we can,

447
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 6: but where it gets frustrating is, you know what, it's

448
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 6: not changing like we want, or somebody's not changing as

449
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,680
Speaker 6: fast as we like, and there's why we get frustrated.

450
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 3: Well, you have to take your hands off of it.

451
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,919
Speaker 6: Control what you can, your attitude, what you think, how

452
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 6: you treat people, and then tho's other things you have

453
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 6: to release control.

454
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 3: That's what faith is all about. God.

455
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 6: I'm praying, I'm believing, But this boss isn't changing, or

456
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 6: my child isn't changing.

457
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 3: Or the medical report. But you know what, I can't

458
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 3: control that. Lord, I know you're on the throne. I

459
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 3: know you're in control.

460
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 6: I think a lot of our frustrations would go away

461
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 6: if we'd we'd turn those things over to God, not

462
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 6: try to control things that we can't control. Because Nick,

463
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 6: if we don't learn this, you can go twenty or

464
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 6: thirty years letting somebody at work get on your nerves.

465
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 3: You know you can't make them do what's right.

466
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 6: You know you can't, you know, or letting the traffic

467
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 6: or just just certain situations. So I just the older

468
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 6: I get, the more I realize life is too short

469
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 6: to live negative, discourage, worried, And if we will turn

470
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 6: these things over, I call it release in control.

471
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 3: Do what you can.

472
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,719
Speaker 6: You know, I'm not saying the scripture says cast your

473
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 6: cares on the Lord. It doesn't say cast your responsibilities,

474
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 6: do what you can. But there are certain things we

475
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 6: have no control over. You got to let that go

476
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 6: where they're gonna it's gonna steal your joy for the

477
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 6: next many many years. See, sometimes Nick, we're trying to

478
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 6: change people, but only God can. And I think what

479
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 6: we have to do is recognizing I don't want to

480
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 6: say this in negative way, but that person may not change.

481
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 6: But you know what I can change my approach. I

482
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 6: don't have to let them steal my joy anymore. I

483
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 6: don't have to give away my power if somebody, you know,

484
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 6: somebody's you know, I just say, getting on my nerves

485
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 6: at work. You know, when you let them, you know,

486
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 6: take your joy, you're giving them your power. So I

487
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 6: like to you know, things that I can't change or

488
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 6: may be tempting to frustrate me, I like to say, Okay, God,

489
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 6: how can I change? I'm not going to let that

490
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 6: frustrate me anymore. And really, sometimes God allows these things.

491
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,959
Speaker 6: I don't think he'll you know, he doesn't send all

492
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 6: the bad things, but he'll allow things so that we

493
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,239
Speaker 6: can grow. And as you pass that test, and all

494
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 6: of a sudden, the same thing that used to bother you,

495
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 6: doesn't bother you anymore.

496
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 3: Where you're coming up higher, You're getting ready to go

497
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 3: to a new level.

498
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 6: God's getting you prepared so you can handle more influence

499
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 6: and more favor. So I like to see those things

500
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,239
Speaker 6: as tests that we have to pass. You know, if

501
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 6: something's not changing, I can't control it.

502
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: Even when we.

503
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 6: Tried to buy that property to build to build a

504
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 6: new facility. On twice we tried to buy it sold

505
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 6: out from under us. There wasn't any more property.

506
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 3: You know. I finally came to the place.

507
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 6: That God, if you want us to have a new auditorium,

508
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 6: I know you'll work it out. But these doors have closed.

509
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 6: These people didn't do us right. They sold property out

510
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 6: from under us. But I did what I can. But

511
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 6: I'm gonna I'm gonna release control and just think you

512
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 6: that you have the right place.

513
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 4: So I try to I try to teach you what

514
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 4: I've learned.

515
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 3: But the point is is I could have been frustrated

516
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 3: and bitter and discouraged.

517
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 6: Because you know, we couldn't buy that property that I

518
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 6: wanted to build a new auditorium, never dreaming that God

519
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 6: had this.

520
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 3: So you pass some tests and who knows what.

521
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 6: God will bring you into, so you know, release control

522
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 6: of the things that you have no control over, even

523
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 6: in a medical situation. I believe in you know, getting well,

524
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 6: that's God's destiny for your life. But you do what

525
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 6: you can and then you say, okay, God, I'm gonna

526
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 6: do all my part. Now I'm just gonna rest in you.

527
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 6: In other words, Nick, I don't think we're supposed to

528
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 6: live in a.

529
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 3: Fight mode all the time.

530
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 6: Otherwise, you know what we're we're upset because this person

531
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 6: at work and we're believing for our health to turn.

532
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 6: Then it's always this stress on the inside. I like

533
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 6: to say that when you rest, God goes to work.

534
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,199
Speaker 6: When you work, then God rest. So you take your

535
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 6: hands off and do what you can. But what you

536
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 6: can't control, God, you're in control. I want to enjoy

537
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 6: this day. Won't be good to others, And as you

538
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 6: do that, I believe you know, it's one of the

539
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 6: steps to stay peaceful on purpose because you know, again,

540
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 6: we want.

541
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 3: You to enjoy your life.

542
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 6: We want you to not just endure it, but just

543
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 6: to have a peace even in the midst of the storms.

544
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 7: You know, talking about control, I was thinking about how

545
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 7: sometimes we want someone to make us happy, you know,

546
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 7: and so with this person's not making me happy, I'm frustrated.

547
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 7: I wish and talk a little bit about that because

548
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,919
Speaker 7: we know that, you know, people can't make you happy.

549
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 9: You've got to depend on God to make you happy.

550
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 7: And so a lot of times that's where we find

551
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 7: a lot of frustration and we lose our peace, we

552
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 7: lose our joy because someone's no performing the way we

553
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 7: think they should. And so, you know, I know that

554
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 7: even in my marriage, I realize that Joel can't keep

555
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 7: me happy. I have to have a joy on the

556
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 7: inside of me. I have to have I'm a responsible

557
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 7: to keep myself happy. I'm responsible to keep myself motivated.

558
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 7: I'm responsible to, you know, keep moving forward because you know,

559
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 7: especially in a marriage, relationships, or even children, sometimes people

560
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 7: want their children to keep them happy, fulfill them. But

561
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 7: you just you can't depend on people to do that.

562
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 7: You've got to find that in God. You got to

563
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 7: find that in his word. You got to tap into

564
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 7: your gifts and your talents. Stir up that joy, because

565
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 7: the Bible talks about that. You've been you know, God

566
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 7: has given you joy on the inside, but sometimes we

567
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 7: let it get so buried that we can't find it,

568
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 7: and that joy is our strength, it's our inspiration, it's

569
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 7: our vision. So I think that sometimes I've seen people

570
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 7: and I've seen it happen, and I could feel it

571
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 7: happened to myself, you know, I was like, Joel, well,

572
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 7: you know, I want to do this, or I want

573
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 7: to do that, or you should be telling me this

574
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 7: or you know, nobody can keep up with that all

575
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 7: the time. So I think that's another thing that you

576
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 7: talk about in this book. You know, you just can't

577
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 7: have you can't depend on other people to keep you happy.

578
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 4: You said, it's a good bit dry. Is any better

579
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 4: than that? It's really this.

580
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 6: We are responsible for our own happiness. And I think

581
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 6: what she said, if you're relying on somebody else, you're

582
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 6: going to be frustrated. You know, take the pressure off

583
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 6: that other person, because that's very you know, you know,

584
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 6: it's going to say, very unfair, that's very difficult. Nobody

585
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 6: can keep you happy. You come back and you get

586
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 6: the happiness on the inside, the joy, get at peace

587
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 6: with yourself, and release that other person, take the pressure

588
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 6: off of them, and you know you're going to live

589
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 6: your life more free and you're going to have better relationships.

590
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 4: Awesome.

591
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 8: Again, we are talking about Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose. Well,

592
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 8: a lot of questions are coming in about your personal life.

593
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 8: Maybe there's some things about each other that the public

594
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 8: doesn't know, maybe some personal core, personal habits, funny stories.

595
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 8: Does anything come to mind, Victoria? Maybe one thing that

596
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 8: that maybe everyone may not know about Joel that.

597
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, Well, I always like to say this because when

598
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 7: you look at Joel, he looks so fit, he looks like,

599
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 7: you know, he's so nice.

600
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 9: He's You're right, You're absolutely right. He's very.

601
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 4: Children.

602
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 9: But you wouldn't believe this about him.

603
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 7: He eats a Sprinkles cupcake almost every single night before

604
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,920
Speaker 7: he goes to bed, a chocolate cupcake, Sprinkles, Sprinkles, dark

605
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 7: chocolate cupcake.

606
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 9: But he's done it.

607
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 7: We've been married thirty four years and he's always eaten

608
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 7: a dessert before he goes to bed. It's almost like

609
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 7: it just kind of tells him it's a bedtime. I

610
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,479
Speaker 7: don't know, you'll have to talk about him.

611
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 4: It's good too.

612
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 7: But I used to make I used to I used

613
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 7: to make a chocolate cake every week because he would

614
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 7: just like to eat on that all through the week.

615
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 9: But that's that's one thing that people don't know.

616
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 7: He loves chocolate cake or chocolate cupcakes or something chocolate

617
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 7: at night, but he is kind of picky about his chocolate.

618
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 9: It's got to be just the right texture. You got

619
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 9: to be just the right amount, it's got to be

620
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 9: just the right this do you want to describe? Do

621
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 9: you want to talk about you?

622
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 4: I don't have this show. I don't have any good comments.

623
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 7: Also, Joel is extremely which this may not be surprising,

624
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 7: extremely focused and very very disciplined. And I think that's

625
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 7: kind of why I even brought up that you can't

626
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 7: get some you know, put the pressure on someone to

627
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 7: make you happy, because early on in our marriage he's

628
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 7: always been very focused, very disciplined, almost like works off lists,

629
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 7: and so you know, he's busy all the time, and

630
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 7: so you learn, you have to learn that, you know what,

631
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 7: Let him do his thing. Let him that's where he

632
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 7: functions the best. But that's one thing about that's he's

633
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 7: very focused, very disciplined. He probably can get more done

634
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 7: than most people.

635
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 3: Will add that he's pretty competitive.

636
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 9: We're roasting him. We're roasting him.

637
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 4: So we have to tell this, so we play.

638
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 8: We played tennis off and and we've played fifty games

639
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 8: of tennis together, and I'm kind of learning to play tennis.

640
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 8: He's actually got me pretty passionate about it. And when

641
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 8: we've when we've played, it gets competitive. And I asked

642
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 8: him to sign a book for me recently, and he

643
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 8: gave me the copy of the book. And when I

644
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 8: opened the book, in the book with a sheet of

645
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 8: paper and it said thirty to twenty with about six

646
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 8: exclamation points after that's the score. So he's up ten

647
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 8: ten games on me. But he wanted to remind me

648
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 8: as well as encouraged me. At the same time, I

649
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 8: was still ten games behind him that he had that

650
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 8: he had.

651
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 4: A great athlete football. I did all this stuff.

652
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 6: So I've found the sport where he's the worst death

653
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 6: because otherwise he'd killed me.

654
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 9: And quick to remind me that he is up ten games.

655
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 3: What about What about Victoria?

656
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 8: Anything about her that maybe some people may not know.

657
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 3: Oh well, they've probably well a lot of things.

658
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 4: Where do I start?

659
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 6: Victoria loves to laugh, and I think that's what it's

660
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 6: a great characteristic is She's she laughs. I hear laughter

661
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 6: going through the house all the time. And I think

662
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 6: it's important that the atmosphere we set in our homes.

663
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 6: And she's she's a great example of setting an atmosphere

664
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 6: of joy and just uh, you know, because there's a

665
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 6: lot of stress in the world today.

666
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 3: You guys, you deal with it too. You've got things

667
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: going on.

668
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 6: And I think sometimes Nick, we bring the pressures from

669
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 6: work and from outside, we bring them into the home

670
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 6: and for long we're all tense and we're up tight

671
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 6: in there, and it's stressing the relationships.

672
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: But I think it's important. You got to check that

673
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 3: stuff at the door.

674
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 6: You've got to keep your home, you know, set the

675
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 6: atmosphere in your home of peace and joy and learn

676
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 6: to laugh. I mean, like she said, we've been married

677
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 6: thirty four years. We still laugh all the time, you know,

678
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 6: and laughter's healthy. And you know, you may not be

679
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 6: jumping up and down every day, but there should be

680
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 6: a sense of joy and you know that laughter. But anyway,

681
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 6: I'll tell you something funny that happened with Victoria.

682
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 4: So Victoria is out in the backyard the other day.

683
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: Well, I'm well, I should sit up like this. So

684
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 3: I'm in the kitchen.

685
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 6: They're going there in the morning, to get make my

686
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 6: protein drink, and I hear some noise out in the backyard.

687
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:27,959
Speaker 3: I hear some music.

688
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 4: I think the neighbors are having a party.

689
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 3: And it's like eight in the morning.

690
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 4: I think, what in the world is going on? It's

691
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 4: so loud. I opened the door.

692
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 6: Victoria's in the backyard and she's got her what are

693
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 6: those earbuds in? She got her ear pods in and

694
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 6: she's singing Waymaker, miracle worker or promise Keep and she's

695
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 6: seeing like four times louder than.

696
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 4: She's supposed to because those are in.

697
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 6: I just got her and said, do you realize you're

698
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 6: screaming the helll neighbors?

699
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 9: But she's crazy, she's full of victory.

700
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 6: I thought, Okay, thanks so much for listening to today's message.

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00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 6: I hope you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest

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Speaker 6: podcast to keep you encouraged and inspired all through the week.

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Speaker 7: Help us to continue to share the message of hope

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Speaker 7: with those all around the world. Visit Joelosting dot com

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Speaker 7: or click the link in the description to partner with

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Speaker 7: us today.

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Speaker 6: We hope you'll share this message with a friend and

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Speaker 6: be sure to follow us on social media.

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Speaker 3: We're praying for you. I know God's best is still ahead.

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Speaker 4: We'll see you next time.

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