Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Everybody. This is Mark Pone,
Speaker 1: longtime editor The Daily Show, once again back with a
Speaker 1: former Daily Show correspondent. I was I should say one
Speaker 1: of your favorites, one of my favorites and senior Latino correspondent.
Speaker 1: That's right, Comedian, actor, entrepreneur, Yes, renaissance man, yes, O madical.
Speaker 2: How how are you when you say long time? Exactly
Speaker 2: how long have you been here? Because I know you
Speaker 2: keeping I started season two, that's insane and this.
Speaker 1: Is seven seven ninety seven. That's my first credit.
Speaker 2: Because for a while, I think you would call as
Speaker 2: a joke all jokes. We called John the new guy,
Speaker 2: and he had been here for like sixteen years, and
Speaker 2: we became I mean as you do in the field department,
Speaker 2: which is where I did a lot of work when
Speaker 2: I was here, because I was here from the years
Speaker 2: of twenty eleven. I believe I started full time at
Speaker 2: the beginning of twenty twelve. Shared an office with Jessica Williams,
Speaker 2: who was just crushing in him. So happy for her.
Speaker 2: It's kind of cool to see everybody go on and
Speaker 2: do things. But I was here from twenty twelve to
Speaker 2: two thousand end of two thousand and thirteen full time,
Speaker 2: and then another like half year or half year like
Speaker 2: on and off part time until John left. And then
Speaker 2: I dribbled and dribbled a little bit into Trevor.
Speaker 3: Ye just dribbling.
Speaker 1: So how did you get the gig? I don't remember.
Speaker 2: I got the gig because, and this is a be
Speaker 2: nice to everyone you meet thing. I got the gig
Speaker 2: because a guy hit me up to do a guest
Speaker 2: set on a show in Miami at the Coconut Grove Improv,
Speaker 2: which was an insane comedy club go around the country
Speaker 2: from two thousand and five, two thousand and four two
Speaker 2: till two thousand and ten.
Speaker 3: Would that's how I made a living.
Speaker 2: Primarily I was acting in some TV shows, but I
Speaker 2: would do stand up on the road and people hit
Speaker 2: you up for guest sets. The guy that hit me
Speaker 2: up was Adam Lowett, a comedian from Florida who's going
Speaker 2: to be there at the time, who was also a
Speaker 2: producer at The Daily Show. He went on to be
Speaker 2: an executive producer, has done many incredible things. It will
Speaker 2: be in la with two wonderful children and his wife
Speaker 2: and we're still closed and stay in touch. But he
Speaker 2: hit me up for a guest set. Then he hit
Speaker 2: me up for when I was in New York for
Speaker 2: another guest set. Then he hit me up for another
Speaker 2: guest set. So this is like guest sets over years.
Speaker 2: And then finally when we're at Caroline's in New York,
Speaker 2: he said, you know, I think it was my act
Speaker 2: was sort of skewing this way, and he goes, you'd
Speaker 2: make a great Latino correspondent. He goes, I know just
Speaker 2: how to pitch it. So we waited for a dark week,
Speaker 2: which the show has weeks on week's off. It's very
Speaker 2: difficult to do a daily show like they do. It's
Speaker 2: sort of you know, it's amazing that John did it
Speaker 2: as long as he did, and we're going to do
Speaker 2: it the Thursday of a dark week when he's.
Speaker 1: In so working dark week, Yeah.
Speaker 3: A working dark week.
Speaker 2: So we have Hallie Haglin, who is a Newish writer
Speaker 2: at the time. She's gone on to be ep of
Speaker 2: things and roast to the ranks here and some very
Speaker 2: very funny So Halle Lowett and I we write this
Speaker 2: piece on Debbie Riddle, who's a congresswoman from Texas who
Speaker 2: wanted and it's amazing how This is in twoenty eleven
Speaker 2: and nothing has changed. She wanted to establish a group
Speaker 2: of non US citizens, like a second class of citizen
Speaker 2: that could work as home care workers, so nannies, gardeners, chefs,
Speaker 2: and you know anyone else that you'd want some sort
Speaker 2: of Latino taking care of your things, so that they
Speaker 2: could work without employment laws, right, so you wouldn't have
Speaker 2: to pay the minimum wages or anything like that. And
Speaker 2: then this was in Texas, so we did that piece
Speaker 2: that got changed, so we rewrote it and I auditioned
Speaker 2: and it went well. John took me over here where
Speaker 2: I was sort of waiting in one of these little
Speaker 2: side guest rooms and said congratulations, and get ready for
Speaker 2: a lifestyle of women and drugs.
Speaker 3: So I'll never forget.
Speaker 2: That, you know, John Oliver, He always just to give
Speaker 2: you a great impression of people at Daily Show convention,
Speaker 2: mister Oliver. The piece that you did on Australian gun reform,
Speaker 2: that's no women, no drugs. And so I came in
Speaker 2: full time. I had a nine year old and six
Speaker 2: year old. I think when I got the gig.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, and you were and they're in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: And they're in Los Angeles, so we're not moving. Then
Speaker 2: I flew back and forth. My nine year old or
Speaker 2: whatever he is at the time, said, I said.
Speaker 3: We got a great job. And I got a great job.
Speaker 2: And it's going to be a good money for the family,
Speaker 2: a good opportunity. I said opportunity, and he didn't get it.
Speaker 2: And then I said, good money, it can lead to
Speaker 2: other things. It's a great job. And I said, we
Speaker 2: might need to move to New York. And he just
Speaker 2: got into a new school and made friends, and he
Speaker 2: was at that age where friendships really started to for him,
Speaker 2: and he really did look at me and he goes,
Speaker 2: what if you went? And we stayed here. And that's
Speaker 2: what happened for two and a half years, is I
Speaker 2: flew back and forth and back and forth, and then
Speaker 2: I'd go do field pieces. In twenty twelve, I think
Speaker 2: I tied a record for John Oliver field pieces, and
Speaker 2: mine was in a non like I guess I because
Speaker 2: that was a convention year, but I tied a record
Speaker 2: for field pieces. I was out on the road constantly,
Speaker 2: so when I wasn't flying home, I was flying for
Speaker 2: the show. And I mean men John Hodgman and Lowen
Speaker 2: and I would go out and do stand up. I've
Speaker 2: got a text John Hodgman. He's one of my favorite people.
Speaker 2: So I would go on the road with Hodgmen and
Speaker 2: just had the best time. But I was missing my
Speaker 2: family terribly, and I was missing so many of the kids' functions,
Speaker 2: and you know, it's such an important time in their life,
Speaker 2: and I was, you know, if ever had to go
Speaker 2: two or three weeks without seeing them, I was just
Speaker 2: absolutely devastated. And I was sleeping under my desk because
Speaker 2: I would take red eyes, which is the worst, the
Speaker 2: absolute worst. You'd never want to take a red eye ever,
Speaker 2: if you can avoid it at all costs. It sets
Speaker 2: me back for like two days after that. So I
Speaker 2: felt like during my time here, I was never really
Speaker 2: operating at one hundred percent, and I was, you know,
Speaker 2: it's like one of those regrets thing. I probably should
Speaker 2: have just moved everybody out. I also did it something
Speaker 2: really stupid, and I moved to Dumbo in Brooklyn. I
Speaker 2: walked to the show. That would have been the smartest thing.
Speaker 2: My buddy I grew up with, who had a place,
Speaker 2: and that seemed to make sense to me. But I
Speaker 2: never should have committed to anything. I should have lived
Speaker 2: and walked away. I should have been here for every
Speaker 2: single morning meeting, like the dad and me talking to
Speaker 2: my son who's now twenty two living in San Francisco.
Speaker 2: It's like first guy there, last guy to leave, Like
Speaker 2: I didn't know any of that, and here I'm a
Speaker 2: forty year old man, and I know my work ethic
Speaker 2: is amazing, and I do a lot of things. But
Speaker 2: I should have been here very first thing. And I
Speaker 2: also was given bad advice from the existing correspondence because
Speaker 2: like Manve rolled in at one pm every day, Jones,
Speaker 2: and like, we were getting advice from people that had
Speaker 2: just been here. They barely were in the building. And
Speaker 2: I should have just been at that morning meeting. I
Speaker 2: had nothing else going on. I didn't have a kid,
Speaker 2: I was trying to get ready for school or anything
Speaker 2: like that. There was no excuse for me not to
Speaker 2: be here, showered with a pen in my hand, ready
Speaker 2: to go. And that's what I would have done over again.
Speaker 2: It would be a different situation. But again I was
Speaker 2: just a love love loved my time here, even considering,
Speaker 2: but at some point it came to an end. Because
Speaker 2: a lot of celebrities and famous people come to this show,
Speaker 2: and I remember r who was the EP and John's
Speaker 2: you know, right hand person at the time, and Albanize
Speaker 2: he ponnd Off, Jason Catums and Kathy katums On Me
Speaker 2: and Jason Katus from Friday Friday Night Lights. And we
Speaker 2: were maybe with you editing a piece. The correspondent goes
Speaker 2: and sits in the edit, and I was showing them
Speaker 2: how we did a piece. I believe it was the
Speaker 2: Bridge to Nowhere, the Canadian Bridge.
Speaker 1: Thing that I did was that piece up the Ambassador Bridge.
Speaker 2: Great great piece, great piece, and it really was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was really fun to cut to.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we are doing that and he comes in.
Speaker 2: I meet Jason Caatums. He has a TV show called
Speaker 2: About a Boy and cast me in it. I'm pretty
Speaker 2: confident that NBC, Like he just insisted that I was
Speaker 2: in it was it was. I auditioned four times, like
Speaker 2: are you sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: The guy just gave me this great gig. So and
Speaker 2: then I got to I went to John. I'm like,
Speaker 2: who had kids? I think has kids exactly my children's age,
Speaker 2: And I went.
Speaker 1: To his kids are like twenty two, nineteen something like that.
Speaker 3: Nineteen yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I went to John, I go. I missed my
Speaker 2: children terribly and I need to go. And I really
Speaker 2: wasn't here for very very long.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I was always telling you right correspond sporadically after that,
Speaker 2: but I was always telling new corresponds when they came
Speaker 2: in because I had a little bit of crossover with
Speaker 2: Roy and with Ronnie and Desi, and definitely Klepper and Hassan.
Speaker 2: I would always do them like stay on the show
Speaker 2: for one hundred plus episodes. That's where you start to
Speaker 2: really get recognized. And I just couldn't. I couldn't. I
Speaker 2: was desperate to hang out with my wife and kids.
Speaker 2: I'm not good on the road. I love stand up
Speaker 2: That's why I got in this. I just don't of
Speaker 2: flights with connections. I don't love hotel soaps. That's what
Speaker 2: I bonded with John Stewart over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, John had that in his background.
Speaker 2: Let's think about it. Am I the only I know?
Speaker 2: There's been other stand up comics, but why it was
Speaker 2: more alternative. John Oliver was a little bit more skewed,
Speaker 2: more alternative. I'm like the only club comic other than
Speaker 2: John Stewart. Ronnie doesn't count Roy, Roy Wood.
Speaker 1: Or wait, right, Why doesn't Ronnie count.
Speaker 2: The Australian who knows what's going on?
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah, Roy right, definitely has been on the roads.
Speaker 2: Roy Roy is, he's one of the best people. And yeah, Roy,
Speaker 2: Ronnie's you know, actually a major comic with three Netflix specials.
Speaker 2: I'm just talking about, like in terms of like American
Speaker 2: clubs coming up. I think it's just me, Roy and John.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of the others like came from
Speaker 1: like improd and Impractice acting.
Speaker 2: I still have Rob Wriggle gave me his Colbert notes
Speaker 2: to come.
Speaker 1: In right Colbert note, the famous Colbert notes, Well I
Speaker 1: would pass.
Speaker 3: I passed those on right to every single person.
Speaker 1: I think. I was just texted four fourteen how many
Speaker 1: it was like, it's like.
Speaker 2: Just texted to these guys. I'll read them to you
Speaker 2: right now. These are so I was on a TV
Speaker 2: show with Rob Wriggle called Gary U Married. He played
Speaker 2: Jay Moore's brother. I've been on so many sitcoms.
Speaker 3: You have no idea that's the ither thing. Let's see
Speaker 3: Ronnie and Costa. Okay, this is the list.
Speaker 2: So this is from Rob Wriggle. This is an emails
Speaker 2: the original Colbert original Colbert note that he gave to Wriggle.
Speaker 3: I asked Wriggle.
Speaker 2: Four, he gave them to me, and then I've since
Speaker 2: passed them to Ronnie roy Klepper and then they've gone
Speaker 2: and past I know he has amazing yeah, and they
Speaker 2: still hold up. So hey, al So I found Coldbert's
Speaker 2: notes for me on things to think about when doing
Speaker 2: a field piece. Number One, do you want to be
Speaker 2: saying this here? Burn tape? Tape is cheap? Keep talking
Speaker 2: and keep them talking too, Break up questions still, let
Speaker 2: them see where you're going. Three, play the silence. Four,
Speaker 2: match energy with subject. Five. Discover things in the moment.
Speaker 2: Be aware of when those discoveries happen. Six, Always be
Speaker 2: asking yourself, what's my point of view on the subject?
Speaker 2: Seven You have to think it's funny. You find a
Speaker 2: way to make that happen. Eight. Get clear on three
Speaker 2: to five things you want your subject to say, and
Speaker 2: don't let them leave until you get them. It's very important.
Speaker 2: Nine Understand the real point what's behind all of this?
Speaker 2: What are you saying? And that was like when I
Speaker 2: was here on the show. I think there was a shift.
Speaker 2: It's like we didn't want to just be making fun
Speaker 2: of things. It's easier just to shoot down. You want
Speaker 2: to also post, so yeah, and then ten characters key
Speaker 2: understand your point of view on the issue, and you
Speaker 2: will be able to react spontaneously in the moment. That's it, bro.
Speaker 2: These were the TIFFs.
Speaker 1: And the most important one, and Colbert told you was
Speaker 1: leave your soul at home.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, gave me when I started. And they hope
Speaker 2: they help you all the best. Wriggles yep, So that's it.
Speaker 2: And then I learned a couple other ones. I remember
Speaker 2: Wriggle told me, whatever you do, don't let Stu Miller drive.
Speaker 2: And then these guys don't have cars. We go out
Speaker 2: there and there got a rental car and they're in Manhattan.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you doing? This is like an
Speaker 2: eight point turn. Just get out of the car. None
Speaker 2: of them know how to drive. And then if they're
Speaker 2: in Manhattan without a vehicle, it's crazy. So it's just like,
Speaker 2: give me the keys. I'm not going to do this.
Speaker 2: And then what was the other one that was just hilarious.
Speaker 2: It was check yourself with this dour Oh. John Oliver
Speaker 2: grabbed me. This is day one. He goes, I'm going
Speaker 2: to tell you the only thing you really need to know.
Speaker 2: He goes always live in the edit, so you could
Speaker 2: be seeing it if you're like, if you think of
Speaker 2: something witty that was from fifteen minutes.
Speaker 3: Ago, just do it, Just do it and we can
Speaker 3: put it in.
Speaker 2: So you know, good Field pieces are made when I
Speaker 2: say something, they say something, and then I say something
Speaker 2: back that's funny, and so there has to be this
Speaker 2: exchange and back and forth. So you're always searching to
Speaker 2: avel together as many of those moments as you possibly can.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm for, That's what I do. You the cobbler, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you'll you'll, I mean I've always said that
Speaker 1: to to h Corspond. It's like, just remember you can
Speaker 1: start over, you can do anything. You know, it's all
Speaker 1: just think about that. It's it's not happening live. It's
Speaker 1: not happening live, you know. And if you you're but
Speaker 1: you feel like it's happening live, but remember that, you know.
Speaker 1: I can you know, we don't. We never we never
Speaker 1: misrepresent people. But we will take you know, I'll take
Speaker 1: like a stronger yes, you know to a question you ask,
Speaker 1: I might you know what I mean like that sort
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 2: I'm not asking they haven't said yes, they've already said it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've already said it, and then we're not mis
Speaker 1: representing them at all. But I like to create what
Speaker 1: seems like a seamless conversation in a piece, even though
Speaker 1: the sentence might be coming like ten minutes apart.
Speaker 2: Sitting down with everybody I sat down with. I always
Speaker 2: was a nice guy. I know some correspondents had different
Speaker 2: strategies when approaching a subject, like Jones barely talk to him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he would not engage until.
Speaker 2: I go, hey, how are you? I'm al this is
Speaker 2: gonna be a piece of cake. Now, I'm funny. You're
Speaker 2: not funny, I go, So I just need to keep
Speaker 2: it straight. So if you're going to make a joke,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have to stop and have to redo
Speaker 2: it because I'm not going to use it.
Speaker 3: So I just would love you to.
Speaker 2: Speak in nice, concise chunks, right, and just say what
Speaker 2: you're going to say straight answers. If I tell you
Speaker 2: to tighten something up, I'll need you to tighten it up.
Speaker 2: So you'll see me do two things for three or
Speaker 2: four times. I'm going to have you do things three
Speaker 2: or four times. Then the other thing is if I
Speaker 2: ask you a question, you need to respond with the
Speaker 2: question and the answer. So I asked you what my
Speaker 2: favorite color is? You say, my.
Speaker 3: Favorite color is blue. You have to use it later, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I guesse, I.
Speaker 2: Have to use it later without me in it, and yeah.
Speaker 2: Then I would go on and there was a couple more,
Speaker 2: and then at the end of a piece we'd always go, Okay,
Speaker 2: just a couple of wild lines. Can you say these
Speaker 2: for me?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Maybe?
Speaker 1: I just yeah, So let's talk about your field work?
Speaker 1: Oh shit, Yeah, what was your favorite? The favorite, your
Speaker 1: favorite piece of all that you've done?
Speaker 2: You did, I think the just because of how it
Speaker 2: magically came together. When you do a field piece, you
Speaker 2: go and you have a joke session. You try to
Speaker 2: anticipate what people are going to do. I did a
Speaker 2: lot of fun I mean Top five definitely Latinos in Austin, Texas.
Speaker 2: All these, by the way, still hold up. Where my
Speaker 2: second one was Tucson Michael Hicks who's passed away. That
Speaker 2: Tucson was the book band that was Chicano's studies band. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that was a great one that got national news. And
Speaker 2: that was my second piece.
Speaker 4: Across the country, public education is failing.
Speaker 2: But in Arizona, lawmakers have found.
Speaker 4: The solution to the biggest problem facing their schools.
Speaker 5: Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer just approved to build banning ethnic
Speaker 5: studies classes in public schools.
Speaker 4: And using this new law, the Tucson School Board banned
Speaker 4: the K through twelve Mexican American Studies program. School board
Speaker 4: member Michael Hicks.
Speaker 6: My concern was a lot of the radical ideas that
Speaker 6: they were teaching in these classes, telling these kids that
Speaker 6: this is their land, the whites took it over, and
Speaker 6: the only way to get out from beneath the gringo,
Speaker 6: which is the white man, is by bloodshed.
Speaker 3: When you sat in on these classes, what types of.
Speaker 6: Tho I chose not to go to any of their classes?
Speaker 1: Why even go? Why even go?
Speaker 6: I based my thoughts on hearsay from others, So I
Speaker 6: based off of those.
Speaker 1: So the school board and Tucson banned and.
Speaker 2: Mexican Americano Studies.
Speaker 1: Right, And you spoke to a councilman there.
Speaker 2: I spoke to the school board member named Michael Hicks,
Speaker 2: and he said.
Speaker 1: What was it? Well, the best part about was you
Speaker 1: said you asked him, what about African African Americans? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he said, yeah, that's fine. And you said, well,
Speaker 1: I'm a black kid, teach me about it, teach me
Speaker 1: about slavery. He just started digging.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just dug himself in such a major hall.
Speaker 2: He was a perfect person, because.
Speaker 1: You remember you asking him, am I three fifths person?
Speaker 1: He goes, I think you're more a quarter over first, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm a black kid.
Speaker 4: Try to teach me about slavery without me feeling resentment
Speaker 4: towards white people.
Speaker 6: How am I going to teach you about slavery? Slavery
Speaker 6: was how did I end up here? Slavery was a
Speaker 6: m okay, well, I gotta figure out how, okay the
Speaker 6: white man did bring over the.
Speaker 1: Africans?
Speaker 4: What kind of jobs did we do?
Speaker 6: The jobs that you guys did was basically slavery jobs.
Speaker 2: So after we were freed, we got to.
Speaker 6: Vote, Yes, you got well, you didn't get to vote
Speaker 6: until later. And we were equal almost equal.
Speaker 2: Well, we were like sort of a half or three fifths.
Speaker 6: My personal perception of it, I would say you're probably
Speaker 6: a quarter.
Speaker 2: It was insane and that was and that got a
Speaker 2: lot of attention.
Speaker 1: I got in trouble for it.
Speaker 3: He got in deep shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you remember chicken boxing? I had?
Speaker 2: Chicken boxing was ridiculous.
Speaker 7: In two thousand and eight, Louisiana came to its census
Speaker 7: and outlawed the barbaric sport of cockfighting, and the chickens
Speaker 7: of that state finally had some peace.
Speaker 4: State Senator Albert Gilliery.
Speaker 8: We have outlawed cockfighting. Those blood sports no longer active
Speaker 8: in Louisiana. I'm not a fan of cockfighting, but I
Speaker 8: love to go and watch some chicken boxing.
Speaker 3: I'm going to stop you right there.
Speaker 2: You just said chicken boxing.
Speaker 8: Yes, chicken boxing in Louisiana is still not legal, but
Speaker 8: we're fighting to.
Speaker 1: Make it legal.
Speaker 2: You meant to say chicken boxing.
Speaker 8: I meant to say chicken boxing. Human beings put gloves
Speaker 8: on and box. Chickens can put gloves on and box.
Speaker 2: Chicken boxing was in Apple Loosa with Burger and they
Speaker 2: were trying to ban they they did ban cockfighting, and
Speaker 2: now guys were trying to introduce chicken boxing and they
Speaker 2: made little gloves and I went out.
Speaker 1: To that and they had yeah, and they had an arena.
Speaker 1: The guy took you.
Speaker 2: I took to arena. And I go to this guy.
Speaker 1: We're like a really nice little like mini Madison Square garden.
Speaker 1: It was like amazing that.
Speaker 3: That was crazy.
Speaker 2: And I was out with these guys on clearly they
Speaker 2: were training roosters due to cockfighting, and they put it's horrible.
Speaker 2: They put razor blades on their claws and they're vicious.
Speaker 2: They're like training pit bulls or anything like that. And
Speaker 2: I go, hey, man, to the saide, this was real?
Speaker 2: Which one of these and it goes if it was.
Speaker 3: Real, like it is real, like an idiot.
Speaker 2: And then me and Berger were on but the graphic
Speaker 2: on our way to the cockfighting ring, and this dude
Speaker 2: looks at me and I'm a Latino in a suit
Speaker 2: in a rental car and looks at me, looks at
Speaker 2: me in the eyes and starts running at the car
Speaker 2: and I.
Speaker 3: Go Burger, Burger go like that.
Speaker 2: There's been a couple of moments where I've been like,
Speaker 2: we're gonna die right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. In Times
Speaker 1: you felt rich.
Speaker 2: In Virginia at Barack Obama announcing is he was gonna
Speaker 2: run again?
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: You mean for the second time, for the second Oh,
Speaker 1: the sink of Demio piece. I remember that one.
Speaker 3: I almost got beat up because everyone was drunk.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you think you can keep this enthusiasm up until November?
Speaker 7: I think I can because I'll drink Corona like his
Speaker 7: water drink, but like his water drink, vodka.
Speaker 1: Like its water, Tequila like his water.
Speaker 4: Can you keep it up until November?
Speaker 9: Honestly?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: I can here all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm fired up.
Speaker 10: Are you pumped up because you think Barack Obama will
Speaker 10: finally be able to not worry about this combative Congress
Speaker 10: and he can actually be progressive in his theoretical second termament.
Speaker 1: I spell we see those those misdirect yeahs, you go in,
Speaker 1: you set it up, you think it's you've set it
Speaker 1: up to the to our audience as like I'm going
Speaker 1: to this young people's Obama rally that you think it
Speaker 1: is and it's a sink of demop And it.
Speaker 2: Turns out these Obama supporters love latinos out and you're like,
Speaker 2: and just as much as they love drinking.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We used to do that with the same Patrick
Speaker 1: State Parade, like on a yearly basis, we'd figure out
Speaker 1: or like a like when the Giants won the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: We'd go down there and think of you know, I
Speaker 1: think it was like we act like it was for
Speaker 1: something else and talking to people.
Speaker 2: There was a time that I went out with Stu
Speaker 2: Miller to Phoenix and the guy we lined up wouldn't
Speaker 2: speak to us. So we bailed the last the very
Speaker 2: last sea. That's how he's not coming. And then we
Speaker 2: just had to improvise and we joined a rally and
Speaker 2: I remember ripping a John. My Spanish is a little rusty,
Speaker 2: but what I think he said was yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I cut that one.
Speaker 1: I cut that one. I remember that the guy, the guy,
Speaker 1: and then you just guy speaks.
Speaker 2: He says, heartfelt in Spanish to the camera.
Speaker 1: Weird, it's a political rally.
Speaker 2: We're hardworking people and we just and this is SB
Speaker 2: ten seventy right. It was like yeah, and he said,
Speaker 2: we're hardworking people. We really, you know, don't deserve to
Speaker 2: be villainized, you know.
Speaker 1: And we don't have this, we don't have the subtitle.
Speaker 1: So if you don't speak Spanish, don't nobody's saying yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I go John, My Spanish is a little rusty,
Speaker 2: but I think what he just said was about his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that he was.
Speaker 4: It was like it was like sorry baby.
Speaker 1: And the guys just looking at you. It was so good.
Speaker 1: Well that's another that's another little, a little a side
Speaker 1: note for the listeners. You don't speak Spanish.
Speaker 2: Spanish is.
Speaker 1: Because I remember, like early on when you were at
Speaker 1: the show, at some point we're like, oh, we can
Speaker 1: do this piece, and we can do it in Spanish.
Speaker 1: Because over the years we've done a couple of pieces
Speaker 1: where it was entirely in span We did one Mexico
Speaker 1: and we did one way back when with Morocca where
Speaker 1: they where they did the entire show was the entire
Speaker 1: piece was in Spanish because they went somewhere where everybody
Speaker 1: spoke Spanish, and there was there was a point, there
Speaker 1: was a point with you. I remember at some point
Speaker 1: when they were like, oh, yeah we can, this will
Speaker 1: be great, we can actually we could do the peace
Speaker 1: in Spanish. And then you're like, I don't speak Spanish.
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, wait.
Speaker 2: What second generation half Mexican from San Francisco. And I think,
Speaker 2: you know, when you look back at all the pieces,
Speaker 2: which was a lot, a lot of them unfortunately still
Speaker 2: hold up. I think I did a good job of
Speaker 2: representing the fact that no one can represent all Latinos,
Speaker 2: because I've said that multiple times, so going on and
Speaker 2: saying there is no one repping all Latinos there, that
Speaker 2: person doesn't exist because we can't agree on anything, and
Speaker 2: that is very true to this day. So you know,
Speaker 2: they make funny if you don't speak Spanish, But then
Speaker 2: when you don't do speak Spanish and you don't pronounce
Speaker 2: things properly, and you're really fucked like cause there's no winning.
Speaker 2: So I think it was very clear about that from
Speaker 2: day one. But I remember doing a press for the
Speaker 2: movie Night School with Kevin Hart and Tiffany Addish and
Speaker 2: it was me, Fat Joe and Kevin Hart doing Miami
Speaker 2: press and.
Speaker 1: They're all expecting me to speak.
Speaker 2: Kevin Hart looks at me and he goes, wait a second,
Speaker 2: you don't speak Spanish. It's the only reason you're here.
Speaker 1: It's the only reason.
Speaker 2: He started cracking up. We thought it was the funniest thing.
Speaker 2: He's like, I speak more Spanish than you do. Do
Speaker 2: you think I'm gonna turn down a free trip to
Speaker 2: Miami to hang out with Fat Joe and Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1: No, I'll be here another piece that was a really
Speaker 1: really fun piece and really like like a feel good
Speaker 1: piece in a lot of ways.
Speaker 3: They let me do some very silly, weird ship.
Speaker 1: But this was actually a real It was a really
Speaker 1: solid piece. Last gay standing.
Speaker 5: It was called Alabama and mississipp So who's it gonna be?
Speaker 4: Platus or vatus?
Speaker 7: It was time to see which one of these backwoods, inbred,
Speaker 7: homophobic states will swim the longest against the tide of history. First,
Speaker 7: let's meet some locals to see whose state has the
Speaker 7: intolerance edge.
Speaker 4: In this corner, from the.
Speaker 7: State that still has segregated sororities, Alabama lawyer Doug Jones.
Speaker 2: With regard to same sex marriage, Alabama will be the
Speaker 2: last state to ratify, if we ever ratify.
Speaker 7: And in the other corner from the state with a
Speaker 7: Confederate flag inside their own state flag, Mississippi.
Speaker 2: Columnists Slim Smith, Mississippi will be last, and we'll get
Speaker 2: there kicking and screaming all the way.
Speaker 3: I wish it weren't true, but it.
Speaker 1: Is so the whole premise of the pieces. You know,
Speaker 1: all these states are legalizing gay marriage. Who will be
Speaker 1: the last?
Speaker 2: Be the last one of the last five states? And
Speaker 2: he goes I think it's gonna be the Deep State,
Speaker 2: the Deep South, and the deep State.
Speaker 3: It's going to be the deep.
Speaker 2: You'll cut that out.
Speaker 3: I think it's going to be the Deep South.
Speaker 1: So you go. And it was hilarious because you were like,
Speaker 1: because they both were defending their state in to be
Speaker 1: the last one. They both they both want to be,
Speaker 1: because the irony was really because they were both like, yeah,
Speaker 1: will be the last one. I mean the one. The
Speaker 1: newspaper guy is like, come on, we still have like
Speaker 1: we still have uh, segregation laws on the books. And
Speaker 1: then and then you asked them about sodomy and he goes,
Speaker 1: he goes, well, it's a it's a uh, it's a
Speaker 1: I think he said that. Deve Jones says it's a mismeanor.
Speaker 1: And you cut the other guy and goes asdomy's a felony. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: and they're all trying to outdo how shitty their state
Speaker 1: is hilarious.
Speaker 2: Then we were in Birmingham and we were in Jackson,
Speaker 2: and that was the thing is that had we been
Speaker 2: in this deep too, I'm cut you off. But we
Speaker 2: were in those two cities and that affected the peace
Speaker 2: and we had no idea.
Speaker 1: But you going right, because then you went out to
Speaker 1: waffle houses.
Speaker 4: All right, that's it.
Speaker 7: We'll settle this the old fashioned way in a waffle house, y'all.
Speaker 9: I want everybody to know we met two years ago
Speaker 9: at a waffle house, and I just want to say, would.
Speaker 1: You, Michael, would you marry me?
Speaker 11: This is our anniversary and I just wanted to know
Speaker 11: you're you're not if you would do this because this
Speaker 11: is very special to me.
Speaker 3: Yes, who's that clapping?
Speaker 7: Okay, Mississippi, last chance to bring some authentic anti gay
Speaker 7: redneck venom. I want to say, in front of everybody,
Speaker 7: I want to ask you, sincerely, would you marry me?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yes, yes, yeah, seriously, these are the two gayest states
Speaker 7: in the Union.
Speaker 1: No, but the point of the whole thing was everywhere
Speaker 1: they went, nobody gave a ship.
Speaker 2: Everywhere, and no one cared at all. And actually, in.
Speaker 1: In the waffle house, they applauded, and he.
Speaker 2: Proposed applauded, and a little boy said, you can't do
Speaker 2: that here, but not yet. But you can't do it
Speaker 2: here here, here, here, here, and here, and he rattled
Speaker 2: off all the states where you could.
Speaker 3: Get legally married as a gig.
Speaker 1: Oh. I didn't know that and.
Speaker 2: Then they would applaud. And then I had a very
Speaker 2: interesting conversation with the guy next to me who I
Speaker 2: was waiting in the waffle house because I'm and this
Speaker 2: was when Obamacare was coming out. But he told me
Speaker 2: his wife was a waitress. He was waiting for her
Speaker 2: to get off her shift and she made two dollars
Speaker 2: and sixty seven cents per hour and then they let
Speaker 2: her keep her tips. And then he was anti Obamacare.
Speaker 2: But they didn't have healthcare at the waffle house, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, but you see how this can help you.
Speaker 2: It didn't. So I just remember that and I remember.
Speaker 1: But the nice thing about the piece was a kind
Speaker 1: of it shift minded you pee. It reminds you of
Speaker 1: like a lot of these issues, people don't care. It's
Speaker 1: all the it's all the people in power and the
Speaker 1: government that make big issues at these things. Nobody gets
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: And that's why I just I really wish we could
Speaker 2: have some sort of secure nationwide voting on major.
Speaker 1: Issues like referendums.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about guns, like, all right, who wants, you know,
Speaker 2: rifles to exist for hunting? And then let's get rid
Speaker 2: of automatic weapons? Do we need those? We don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even gun owners, It's like, yeah, it's it's nuts.
Speaker 1: I guess we can talk a little bit more about
Speaker 1: the bridge piece.
Speaker 7: That's right, people of Michigan are going to have to
Speaker 7: pay for the entire Wait what did you just say?
Speaker 2: Michigan will pay nothing for this bridge?
Speaker 4: To find nothing zero.
Speaker 2: Zero dollars, zero outlays, zero risk, zero liability to find zero,
Speaker 2: no cost to Michigan at all, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 3: To find nothing.
Speaker 5: Again, but nothing probably means something, especially when you consider
Speaker 5: how many times America has been burned by slick talking Canadians.
Speaker 6: Look, when politicians tell you that this ain't gonna cost
Speaker 6: you nothing, grab your wallet, grab your money and run
Speaker 6: break wide.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: The Canadians are saying they're gonna pay for this bridge,
Speaker 1: but I don't trust them.
Speaker 2: And they say a lot of things sometimes in French.
Speaker 1: And they buy our milk at Sam's because Canadian milk
Speaker 1: is very expensive.
Speaker 2: True, Sorry, what does that have to do with this Nothing?
Speaker 4: Canada is offering a trojan hearts.
Speaker 10: Oh you think they're gonna hide a bunch of Canadians
Speaker 10: in there and they're just gonna jump out of an
Speaker 10: attack US once the bridge is complete.
Speaker 3: No, it's not gonna be Canadians. It's going to be
Speaker 3: a Chinaman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just want Americans on that bridge. I don't
Speaker 4: want a trojan horse delivering China steel and chinaman.
Speaker 1: Just f a.
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone's using Chinaman anymore.
Speaker 2: That was one of the best that was.
Speaker 1: That was a great piece. And the people that you
Speaker 1: talked to were so funny. I just remember that. I
Speaker 1: remember that. No, the ex black panther guy pulled out
Speaker 1: who was like, in my town, I run this town
Speaker 1: and run. And then you when you tell him that,
Speaker 1: when you go back to all of them to tell
Speaker 1: him that the bridge is owned to run your business,
Speaker 1: but the bridge is owned by an individual like a
Speaker 1: family that owns the bridge. And this is why madd
Speaker 1: maroon and he goes, yeah, I know that, and he
Speaker 1: pulls on, he goes, he goes all about these politicians,
Speaker 1: and I just I'll never forget this image. He pulls
Speaker 1: out this.
Speaker 12: Grm, this ginormous wad that's like it must be four
Speaker 12: inches thick cash and you waste it around going it's.
Speaker 1: All about the cash. Guy's got like thousands of dollars
Speaker 1: in cash. He was so big and he's a giant.
Speaker 1: And I go and he's like, I run this town. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know that guy owns the bridge, so what.
Speaker 2: I don't want to They had paid them off.
Speaker 1: We were we were in a h and the woman
Speaker 1: you remember, the housewife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like, and the milk prices.
Speaker 1: And they come over here, you know, you know, they
Speaker 1: come over here to buy their milk. You know that
Speaker 1: right can come in.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 11: But and then there's a Chinese guy, the tea party
Speaker 11: guy who goes he said Chinaman, and I go hate
Speaker 11: just definitely.
Speaker 2: I don't think they're caught him China anywhere anywhere. And
Speaker 2: I go and they prefer.
Speaker 3: I think this guy cut out.
Speaker 2: I go, they prefer Oriental.
Speaker 1: Yes, that did get cut out because I remember that
Speaker 1: was that's a joke that we all wanted to keep,
Speaker 1: but they cut it out. As we went alone, they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, that's a little that's a little too much. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's funny.
Speaker 2: And then you got to do that stylized Clint Eastwood.
Speaker 2: It crushed the three hundred piece with the steam. I
Speaker 2: drove around and go pros.
Speaker 3: With the pros attached to the car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did the bridge.
Speaker 1: The Eminem thing like, yeah, if I remember, you found.
Speaker 2: A toll booth, we couldn't shoot well you but you
Speaker 2: faked it.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, toll booth number.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you keep you keep because we have you.
Speaker 2: We have you drive and shoot on it any because
Speaker 2: of homely and security, you can't shoot on it.
Speaker 1: You kept you But in this in the piece, you
Speaker 1: keep driving on the bridge and trying to talk to
Speaker 1: the to the toll booth collector.
Speaker 4: We're here to talk to Maddie Maroon.
Speaker 11: You guy who owns a bridge four seventy five, sir,
Speaker 11: thank you?
Speaker 2: So yeah, the guy who owns a bridge, his named
Speaker 2: Maddie Maroon is sort of this monopoly.
Speaker 1: I'll be back.
Speaker 2: Hi, it's me again.
Speaker 11: As I was saying, I want to talk to me.
Speaker 2: All the fine.
Speaker 11: Denise, don't you think it's.
Speaker 2: A little odd that one man owns a bridge?
Speaker 1: You need to stop around.
Speaker 3: Go and watch this piece again.
Speaker 2: We found a new Jersey six flags and made their
Speaker 2: ticket booth.
Speaker 1: Look like it, and you even had cars going by
Speaker 1: in the background.
Speaker 3: It was such a brilliant production.
Speaker 2: And then I remember John coming in the edit bay
Speaker 2: and he goes, how did you do this?
Speaker 3: This is amazing, and we looked.
Speaker 2: At each other like.
Speaker 1: Movie magic, Do you really want to.
Speaker 2: Yes, tell me. Then he goes no, He walked out,
Speaker 2: and he walked back in and goes, fine, just tell
Speaker 2: me what you did. You can't shoot on any bridge.
Speaker 2: So that's kind of a reenactment at New Jersey six Flags.
Speaker 2: And if you look at closely, the same production van
Speaker 2: drives through three times faking traffic. It's all sound effects
Speaker 2: for the horns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really fun, fun piece.
Speaker 3: She was a great actress.
Speaker 1: The last one on my list of my favorite seris
Speaker 1: is of course tanks. Tanks, tanks.
Speaker 9: Oh, I got to drive tanks, tanks, tanks, tanks, little tanks,
Speaker 9: tang tanks.
Speaker 11: Does your country name tanks?
Speaker 4: We got more tanks than we know what to do
Speaker 4: with a big ouse Western Tank Imporium.
Speaker 7: And they're not just for attacking Africa.
Speaker 9: They could do it all. Jo sing printed Quarta and
Speaker 9: of course I'm getting traffic.
Speaker 7: We will not be under sold because I'm now maderable
Speaker 7: about tanks.
Speaker 5: We may invade you with the ground war and destroyed
Speaker 5: the tanks we sold you in the first place.
Speaker 2: There's a place in Casoda drama tanks where you can
Speaker 2: drive a tank. I think I've shot machine guns so
Speaker 2: much on the show. I shot a Tommy gun in
Speaker 2: there that didn't even make the piece like do you
Speaker 2: want to go shoot a Tommy gun? I'm like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: And and then I got to drive these tanks. But
Speaker 2: the things such a weird place.
Speaker 1: So the piece for the listeners, the piece was they were,
Speaker 1: there's a.
Speaker 2: The United States government is still buying tanks. There's no well,
Speaker 2: there's a factory. The story was, there's a factory, you
Speaker 2: know Ohio.
Speaker 1: I think some of the details the manufacturing tank, manufacturing tank,
Speaker 1: and it's always and it's all uh, it was all
Speaker 1: part of some pork from some Ohio senator. Yes, yeah, miles.
Speaker 1: And so this factory keeps and you talk to a
Speaker 1: general if you remember a retired generals like tire general,
Speaker 1: we got we don't need any more tanks. We've got
Speaker 1: plenty of tanks up here. Yeah, And so they keep
Speaker 1: building this like and this. The factory has like eighty employees.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like a ton of people. But this guy
Speaker 1: makes a big stink about like, we can't show down
Speaker 1: the factory. We can't lose these eighty jobs. And so
Speaker 1: there's all these extra tanks and they just put them
Speaker 1: in this graveyard out in Utie.
Speaker 2: There's a tank graveyard with they all got all this
Speaker 2: great piculous amount of money.
Speaker 1: So then we end the piece with you like I used, well,
Speaker 1: you like a used car salesman trying to sell tanks,
Speaker 1: don't I get? And you get in a tank and
Speaker 1: you start crushing you like you gotta get a tank.
Speaker 1: It's like the best. And then you crushed like toys
Speaker 1: and stuff.
Speaker 2: They had me crush to saturns.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, you you crushed cars.
Speaker 3: I crushed cars driving a tank.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: This job is so.
Speaker 1: They bought some beat up, old used cars and you crushed.
Speaker 2: Them and I got But there was a lady. This
Speaker 2: place has a woman, like the attractive woman in a
Speaker 2: bikini that was like is supposed to like rub your
Speaker 2: shoulders while you drive the tank. I don't know who
Speaker 2: wants to.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that.
Speaker 2: No, she didn't make the piece, but that's what this
Speaker 2: place was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like chicks where Carolina, Carolinas.
Speaker 2: It was in Minneapolis. Oh wow, at like an hour
Speaker 2: and a half outside minute, and I think it was
Speaker 2: like Casota, Minnesota or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So I guess we're running out of
Speaker 1: time here.
Speaker 3: I gotta go rehearse.
Speaker 1: Yeah you are doing You're now Lopez Lopez versus Lopez.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm on George Lopez's sitcom, which is the best him,
Speaker 2: his daughter, my inn, and I play a stoner on
Speaker 2: a multi camp, which is the best gig ever. And
Speaker 2: I also write, so I have a CBS overall. They
Speaker 2: also I write TV shows and developed stuff for CBS.
Speaker 2: And then I'm back around on the road doing stand up.
Speaker 2: So please come out and see me do some stand
Speaker 2: up comedy. I think I have a bunch of dates Austin, Chicago,
Speaker 2: Milwaukee websites, and I should put things on a website.
Speaker 2: This is You're gonna be the only people who know.
Speaker 2: So please come out and see me do stand up.
Speaker 1: It'll be fun. Glad to have you back in the building.
Speaker 2: Love being back in the building.
Speaker 1: All right, you need to come more often, so sure anytime.
Speaker 2: If only there were latinos were in the news.
Speaker 4: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching.
Speaker 1: The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Speaker 4: Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount
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