WEBVTT - Gary Lightbody 0:00:03.400 --> 0:00:06.040 Early cars were mostly joisting vehicles. 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:10.719 I heard, are you bringing the jousting vehicle? 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:13.360 I am, Yeah. We're going to charge at each other 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:16.160 at ten miles an hour. It's going to be a wild. 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.200 We're going to drive to Sidcup, but we are also 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:20.240 going to joust. 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.959 Ye when we get there after ice cream. 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:28.480 That is super local English humor. But you know you 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.080 just got to get on board with it. Really, Hello, 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:36.559 I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:40.840 originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players would ask 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:44.400 each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing. 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:45.320 The other player's true nature. 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.159 In asking different people the same set of questions, you 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:52.520 can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.560 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.279 just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:02.320 revealed if I asked these quesses as conversation starters. So 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:05.280 I adapted Prue's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:08.679 questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:12.120 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:15.600 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:19.360 or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:23.440 most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.240 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:28.840 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.319 out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:36.840 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:39.600 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.880 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:46.440 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:50.760 their experience or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:56.400 fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the brilliant 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:01.920 and gifted musician Gary Lightbody. Gary is the lead singer 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:05.160 of the band Snow Patrol, amongst other things. And you 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.240 may be interested to note that I am also in 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:10.640 a band with Gary called Tired Pony, And you can 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.720 check out the record that we made on the old 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.280 music streamers if you're so inclined. Gary is a very 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.120 good friend of mine. So this chat was like most 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:23.200 of the ones we have. It was deep and rambling 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:26.560 and full of questions and the search for answers and 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.280 quite a lot of screeching laughter. Gary met the death 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:34.399 of his dad with anomenous that spread, and I think 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:37.440 it's okay to say was pretty all consuming for a minute. 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.840 But like all great people and artists who remain interested 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:46.680 in pain, he somehow turned that non feeling into feeling 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:51.080 and wrote an extraordinary and elegiic album, which came out 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:55.880 last September and is Snow Patrol's eighth studio album, entitled 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:57.440 The Forest is the Path. 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:04.119 And it is absolutely beautiful. Where and when were you happiest? 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:08.360 I'm going to immediately talk about Johnny and Nathan because 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.240 I could look back in my life and find moments 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.960 of happiness, of course I can, but I think the 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:17.760 most recent one is the most relevant one for me. Anyway. 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:22.680 It still feels like it's there's an energy or power 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.480 emanating from it. And that was when we were making 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:27.440 the album. And I'm not just saying that just because 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.120 we've got an album coming out, but genuinely, it was 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.680 a long road. We tried to make it last year 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.200 and it didn't work out, and it's always kind of 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:39.400 heartbreaking when you get to the end of a project 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.960 you realize you haven't got it. You have to kind 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.520 of regroup. But then we met Fraser T. Smith and 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.760 the four of us went into his studio in January 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:53.560 of this year, and that process was just one of 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:57.440 the most extraordinary times in the studio that we've ever had. 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:00.000 Is it because it was hard and there was heartbreaking 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:01.480 about the not making it last year? 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:02.360 Was it that? 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.960 Or was there some sort of new complicity because a 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.240 phrase that what was it? Do you think that engendered 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.320 such happiness? 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:16.719 It's a very very good point, because perhaps without the contrast, 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:22.400 it may not have been quite as starkly wonderful, if 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:28.160 that's even a phrase. Frankly, it could have been comparative. 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.440 You know, for me it still stands alone as a 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:34.320 sustained period of happiness in my life. 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.280 How do you recognize happiness? 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:41.440 I think for me it's because I have run so anxious. 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.960 When I notice how long it's been since I've been anxious, 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:52.159 I started to realize that happiness has taken its place 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.039 or something contentment, perhaps in a sort of a less 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.560 high stakes kind of version of happiness. But because happiness 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:01.400 can now be ebb and flow, and it can even 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:04.719 turn to sadness pretty quickly, but contentment there is a 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.560 flow to that a continuum to that. If you catch 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:09.640 the right view or a surfer you catch the right way, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.360 you can write on that for a long time. And 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:16.279 it felt like every day we were coming in excited 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:20.240 to be in the studio, and Nathan and Johnny Arrow 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.320 was excited to be together. But it felt like every 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:28.880 time they picked up an instrument, something magical happened and 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.720 I was there to witness it, which doesn't always happen 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.279 on every album as well. People might think that when 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:35.880 a band makes an album, they're in the studio the 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:39.080 whole time, every day, but that's not necessarily what happens 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.920 is sometimes life happens and you've got to be somewhere else, 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.359 and when you are actually in the studio, it's just 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:49.800 to play your parts. But with this period of five 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.800 weeks with Fraser, the four of us, we were there 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:55.880 every day for each other, even if we weren't playing. 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.160 There's days that I didn't play anything, but I was 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:02.560 there to witness Nathan and and Johnny playing pianos and 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:06.160 guitars and singing, and it felt very very special and 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:09.800 at the end, and this is another indicator I think 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:14.520 the last day, I said to Nathan and Johnny I'm 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.800 really sad that this is finishing. Normally you're excited to 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.599 go on tour, but on the last day I said, 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.480 I'm really sad that this is finished, that this is over, 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.880 and both Nathan and Johnny said you feel the same way. 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:32.880 So that feels like a significant period of happiness that 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:34.000 I won't forget. 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:39.400 Wow, God, I think that sustained anything is impossible anyway. 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.440 I think it's why I like this question is even 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.680 though some people interestingly bulk at the idea you know 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:48.360 that happiness is an endgame, it's not really what the 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:50.599 question is. It's really what is a snapshot of a 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:55.279 moment of joy? Because it's all moments, right, Even though 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:59.080 things like anxiety feel like they are permanent, there actually 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:03.640 is no status even within that, so it's constantly shifting 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:07.880 and changing. I love that snapshot of you guys going 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:11.040 into the studio and of it not just being a 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.440 day that we were happy, but every day we showed 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:15.680 up to create was amazing. 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:19.480 Yeah, they will quote by the Buddha there is no 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:22.680 path to happiness. Happiness is the path, and it's sort 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.000 of referenced in the album title as well. The forest 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.640 is the path. It's okay to be lost. And I 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.200 was so afraid to be lost in my life or 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:35.040 focused on the destination and not the journey. And you know, 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:39.040 I think that happiness or that state of happiness only 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:43.480 really occurs whenever you let go of the destination. For me, anyway, 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:45.720 I couldn't agree. 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:45.920 With you more. 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:49.760 There's some version when I think about achieving happiness, which 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:53.280 sounds a bit like an oxymoron, and I might be 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.679 the more on them. I think you've got to set 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:59.440 the coordinates for happiness, like you set those coordinates and 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:01.280 then you have to let you have to let it 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.560 go or whatever it is. You have to set those 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.360 coordinates and then let it go and be in that 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:12.960 journey towards it. And I often get stuck by halfway 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:14.400 through the journey, or if I don't know, if I'm 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:17.400 halfway through the journey, I'm like, well, it just hasn't 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:21.000 happened yet or arrived yet, and I'm not there. I'm 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:25.000 so annoyed I'm not there. And someone brilliant called Esther 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:26.960 Hicks said. 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:28.800 Once she was like, you know, when you're in a. 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:33.959 Car journey from like Los Angeles to San Francisco, when 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:37.839 you get halfway you know, like Monterey or Big sur 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:40.360 You don't just get pissed off that you're not in 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:41.280 San Francisco. 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:43.320 You turn around and go home. 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:45.760 Idiots, you carry on. 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:48.719 And I think about that a lot, like set your 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:52.040 coordinates and then get on the bus or the train 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:54.720 or the plane or the jousting car and just get 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:55.199 on with it. 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:01.839 Absolutely, absolutely, I love that accord. And it's also there's 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.680 a certain amount of detachment from those corders once they're 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:08.680 set exactly exactly, And I think that I was always like, 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.200 you know, if I take my eye off there where 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:15.240 I'm going, then I'll get lost and not realizing it's 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:16.360 okay to be lost. 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:24.800 Yeah, it's okay to be lost. What question would you 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.360 most like answered. 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.920 Well, I missed the opportunity to tell my dad quite 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.640 a lot of things. By the time I realized I'd 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.360 run out of time to talk to him, he was 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.800 well and to advance dementia. So I would like to 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:45.600 know if there is an after for us, and if 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:48.720 he's there, and if I'll get to meet him again 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:51.439 and have those conversations. 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:55.200 Yeah, I would like that too. By the way, I 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.440 would like to know that do you ever feel and 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.520 I know that it's more recent for you. And I 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:06.080 understand the process of grief is wayward and personal and 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:10.000 it is not subject to any rules whatsoever as far 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:13.600 as I've experienced. But if it's not too personal, do 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.160 you have conversations with him? I know that a huge 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:22.040 amount of this beautiful album is voicing feelings and speaking 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:25.720 things and shouting things out to your dad and at 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.600 yourself and ruminating, and it is a beautiful meditation on 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.320 all of those things. But do you ever converse with him, 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:38.080 even if you can't hear what he says back. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:42.720 The answer to that is no, not really, I'm afraid too. Hmm. 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:49.160 Yeah, I understand that, I really do. But like we 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:52.680 said before, maybe it's coordinatece. Maybe that is something that 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.960 you really do live the answer to you get to 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.880 that place. I can't, for the longest time talk to 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:01.839 my mother in my heart or my head. 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:03.160 And now I'm. 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:06.680 Essentially writing a book that begins with a conversation I 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.760 had with her after she died. So I think there's 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:11.120 a journey with that. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.120 I really do, for sure. 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.960 There's a book of mind coming out that is about Yeah, 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:23.160 but writing it done is for me. It's like it's 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:25.920 not perhaps it is having a conversation with them, but 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.560 it did not take place out loud. Yeah, and I 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:34.360 think that's where I fell downe actually making the signed 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.000 the sound words are. 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:37.800 We've talked about this before. 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.280 When your parent is dead and there are things that 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.600 you didn't say or that they didn't say to you, 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.840 there is simply no way of having the conversation which 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:49.920 we would like to have, which is with them sitting 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:51.679 opposite us, where we get to everything and then they 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:53.560 get say everything to us. But as you and I 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.080 both exist in this space on the other side of 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:59.319 our parent is dead, now you know, what do we 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:01.160 do with those questions? 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.439 In the absence of the answers? What do we do? 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:07.920 And I think you're doing exactly the most beautiful, amazing 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:10.280 thing a person could do, which is that you're using 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.880 it as fuel to make something that you offer up 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.280 to people that they will love and enjoy and will 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.200 probably bring them enormous comfort. 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:21.080 Thank you, and you're doing the same. I cannot wait 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.040 to read your book. Your first book was an absolute 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:26.880 triumph and one of my favorite books for the last 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.520 ten years. As I've told you, thank you y. The 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.160 thing that I think we can do with these questions 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.360 is ask each other. Yeah, which we do, And I'm 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.400 very lucky to have people like that in our lives, 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:43.400 to have incredible conversations with. I know you have lots 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:47.200 of great people in your life and can keep them alive, 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.800 keep their energy in our lives. I don't know what 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:51.600 I would do without that. 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:53.640 Yeah, I think you're right. 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:58.040 I think it's also asking questions without the expectation of 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:01.040 an answer. I think that should be called something else. Yeah, 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:02.320 it shouldn't be called a question. 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:02.959 Do you know what I mean? 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.719 There should be another word for the things that you 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.640 want from your dead parents once they're dead. There should 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:13.200 be another way of expressing that. But you're right, talking 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:14.280 to each other does help. 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.360 I think you're absolutely right. There's perhaps no answers, but 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:22.560 the answer is in the feeling seen. I think, Yeah, 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.040 you know, I don't expect anyone to fix the things 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.120 in my life, just that feeling of being seen. I 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:32.000 don't want to offer anybody any advice that they don't 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.240 ask for. Any advice I ever give is given with 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.840 the caveat. Please, for God's sake, ignore this. 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.640 Ignore what I'm back to say. But you. 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.320 Don't have lost two. 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:06.199 Can you tell me what person, place, or experience most 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.000 altered your life, and. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:12.000 Back to where I started, I think this conversation. But 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.920 Johnny and Nathan, I think have been the two people 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:21.240 that have altered my life the most, two people that 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:25.120 I've loved being around the most and also learned the 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.440 most from and do constantly. 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.000 Did you guys meet in Scotland. 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.960 No, Nathan's been in the band since two thousand and 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:39.240 two and Johnny's been with us from two thousand and nine. 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:44.080 But it's so interesting we've had conversations like this before, 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:47.760 the three of us, where we're like, those times don't 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:51.200 mean anything. It's like we always knew each other. We 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.800 just did. We always knew each other. There was no time. 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:58.720 I can't think of a time that I didn't know them. 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.880 We've been through a lot, you know, over the years together, 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.560 and there's been times where we weren't going great with 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.160 the band, great interpersonally, and we got through all those 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:12.920 things with some amounts of grace actually, and I feel 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.640 very proud of how we've sort of grown together and 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:21.560 become this trio that we are now. Obviously with great 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:26.080 love and respect and reverence to everyone that has been 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.960 in the band as well, especially Johnny Quinn and Paul 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:32.480 Wilson who most recently left the band, but with our 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.840 admiration and love and joy for everything that they do 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:39.680 in the future. But when that happens, when people leave, 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.160 you have to decide whether you want to continue. A 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.080 question was already answered. It was like, do we want 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:47.920 to keep going? Yes, of course, but it's how do 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.720 we keep going? That's that's the more difficult question to answer, 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:56.320 because we want to also make the most important record 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.400 of your life. Every time you make a record or 0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:03.960 else why And we just had this strong, strong feeling 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.360 that in the answering of the hearty we continue was 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.800 the answer to the importance of the record, and so well, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.480 this is how we continue. We put everything that we 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.880 have into this record, just like we've always done. So 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.200 the people I'm going to go with Johnny and Nathan. 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.760 Final answer, final answer, my final answer. I mean, I 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:26.160 know it's not really part of the question. It's kind 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:28.880 of like an either or thing, but Banger my hometown, 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:31.400 m it is really important to me. I love that 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:32.200 place so much. 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:37.480 Gary lived on Ocean Boulevard in Santa Monica for a 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.800 long time and I loved him being just down the road. 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:42.120 It really is just sort of. 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.520 How you'd imagine a California dream of, just like looking 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:46.640 at him with the Pacific Ocean and the swinging palm 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.960 trees and the sunshine and the Art Deco buildings in 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:53.680 Santa Monica and making music and getting acupuncture and hanging out. 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:57.600 And then Gary moved back to Bangor And I've got 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:02.720 to say, I've never heard a person eulogize about a 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.080 place where I know for a fact that it is 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:09.960 cold and it rains a lot, and yet Gary talks 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.960 about bang of the way that most people talk about California. 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.959 And Gary lived in California, which always makes me really happy. 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.719 And know that you love where you're from, and I 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.280 can't wait to visit you there. I can't believe I've 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:22.600 never been there, but I'll come. 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.720 Yeah, please do come over Beplaslack is right on my 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:30.000 doorstep and Forrest is right on my doorstep on one side. 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.760 So I've got the sea on one side of forest 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.160 on the other. And every time I walk in the forest, 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:37.760 I feel renewed. I don't feel that everywhere, but I'm 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:41.919 so glad to have refound my home. Yeah, you know, 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.439 like that quote. Home is not where we are born. 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:49.280 Home is where all our attempts to escape cease. Sorry, 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:52.320 And you know it's funny because it is where I 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:56.439 was born, and yet I tried to escape, And what 0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:59.840 happened is I was only temporarily escaping. What I was really, 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.480 what I was really waiting for, was to come back 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.399 and realize that this was where I was supposed to 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:04.879 be all along. 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:10.440 What would be your last meal? 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.399 Well, I can keep it in banger as everybody that 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:18.680 I knew, you had to set meal on a certain night. 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:19.399 You know what I mean? 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:23.280 You would have on Monday with sausages. Tuesday was Shepherd's Park. 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:28.720 Wednesday Shepherd's Power. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, I got most 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:30.600 excited about spaghetti Bolonnes night. 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:35.879 But that's that spaghetti bolonnaise, Like that's quite sort of Mediterranean, 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:37.520 of like your mom or dad? 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:39.200 Who have cooked it? 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:42.800 Was my mom? Yeah? My dad did not so much, 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:46.080 but he did make greats Sudar breads as we call him. Yeah, 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:48.080 he would make those of a Sunday every night and again, 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:49.320 so I'd have that too. 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:53.280 Most importantly, what night was spaghetti Bolonnes? Was it Wednesday? 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:57.720 No? I think it was Thursday, but it's the meal itself. 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.240 I make a spaghetti bolonees night, and I'll make it 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:02.159 for my mom and my sister and my niece, and 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.600 my mum will makes spaghetti malonnaise. I'm able to contribute 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.159 to the passing of the spaghetti bawl nace. So we 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:09.960 don't have a family heirloom, but we have. 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:12.840 Thursday. 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.800 That's a good legacy. Oh, I love that. Oh I 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.000 make a mean spaghetti bolonnaise. I'm going to make you 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:20.440 spagetti borones next time. 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.679 Then well, I will return that. This is the continuation 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:26.760 the ceremonial spaghetti ballnas. 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.879 Okay, did you ever have When I was younger, I 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:32.680 went to someone's house. I'm going to they can remain nameless, 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.679 but they put baked beans in the spaghetti polonnaise. What 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:41.000 And I couldn't eat it? And I remember the mother 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:44.320 looking at me, going why aren't you eating it? And 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:47.399 I was like, I'm not hungry, and she's like, he 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:49.920 said that you were hungry before. Why aren't you eating 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:52.600 the spaghetti bolonnaise? And she kept pushing me until I 0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.399 eventually went because there's beans in it, and she was 0:19:56.480 --> 0:20:04.200 like she of course there's beans spaghetti bollidais, at which 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:07.000 point I was like, I'm in a mad house. I 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:08.840 need to just get out of here as soon as possible. 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.840 But I was only like seven, so I'm interested if 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.200 anyone's ever come across that. 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.480 I've never heard of beans in a spaghetti. 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:20.399 B I'm really glad that will die with her. 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:22.399 So she won't be listening. 0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:38.080 Okay, in your life, can you tell me about something 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:41.280 that has grown out of a personal disaster and you're 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:42.600 not allowed to say all. 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:47.040 Of it. 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:48.720 Being borned? 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:54.720 God, I hope that people don't think that I'm sort 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:57.080 of trying to like just tie everything to the new album. 0:20:57.119 --> 0:20:58.440 I'm really not. We don't have to talk about the 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:02.520 album itself, but yeah, passing. There was a year where 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:08.040 I was numb, completely numb, and then a year almost 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:11.080 to the day, I read this roomy poem and it 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:16.800 just unlocked everything and I just burst into tears, uncontrollable, 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:21.280 like Charlie Brian shooting out of the eye tears. And 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:24.760 then the next day the numbness had lifted and I 0:21:25.160 --> 0:21:29.920 started writing in earnest and I wrote a song about 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:33.560 my dad, obviously perhaps, But then the second song I 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:36.160 wrote was a song called These Lies, which is actually 0:21:36.400 --> 0:21:39.920 on the new album. The first song appeared by my dad. 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:42.560 It was the poem really, and then I put music 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:45.600 to it, but it sort of flowed out of the pen. 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:48.919 Was mean, you know yourself. There's days when you're standing 0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:51.240 at a blank page and nothing comes, and then in 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:53.399 other days when it's almost as if you're not you 0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:56.159 have no control of the pen. It's just automatic writing, 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:57.560 and I'm just trying to stay out of the way 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:00.159 of it, like I have the pen attached to the 0:22:00.200 --> 0:22:03.600 page and the words will appear. 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:04.480 Wow. 0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:05.000 Wait. 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:08.679 The roomy quote is there is a field. 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.600 There is a field out there beyond all right doing 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:16.199 and wrongdoing. I'll meet you there. That's right. That was 0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:18.399 the key that the dawn broke. 0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:21.119 I remember after one of our walks, because Gary and 0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:24.479 I go on really long walks together and talk about things. 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:28.600