1 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie. 2 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 2: I am Chris Dourine Hazlet, and today I have amberg 3 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: Grounds with me. 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: Guys. I'm so excited about this one. Hi, how are 5 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: you doing, beautiful? I'm good. 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 3: How are you. 7 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, so good. 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 2: I'm just so proud of you. You too, I am 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: so proud of you. I'm going to tell the people 10 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: how we met. Very transparent story. I was this is 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 2: I was still trying to get on my feet, and 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 2: I was good friends with your former boss Booth Time 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: and anybody who doesn't know Boo who is also a 14 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 2: record executive but girt friend of mine. And I was like, bro, listen, 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 2: I am struggling right now and I need some help. 16 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: And I needed my help with my rent at the time. 17 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: And he was like, all, I have my assistant Amber 18 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 2: go to the house and get some money for you. 19 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: And that's how we first met. Do you remember that. 20 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 3: That's exactly what that. 21 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: Is exactly what happened. 22 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, thank you girl, So I'm 23 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 2: gonna go pay this rent child, And from. 24 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: There I just watched you blossom. 25 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 2: I met you as his assistant and watch you to 26 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 2: continue to blossom. And now I'm excited to say that 27 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: you are the executive vice president and general manager of 28 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 2: the music label and management company Love Renassiance. 29 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: Yep, that's crazy. 30 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 3: It's like, it's insane. It brought me home, So it's 31 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 3: definitely crazy. But I am gonna say that obviously I 32 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,839 Speaker 3: watched you too, and so I think it's a very 33 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 3: fun and cool and just like full circle moment to 34 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 3: see you from meeting you at a time where you 35 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 3: were struggling, it's still a time we're seeing, like you 36 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 3: really got no problems paying your rent? Hello. 37 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: God. 38 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 3: So I'm like, I'm super proud of you. I watched 39 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 3: your journey. I don't think it was fast for either 40 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 3: of us. I watched both of us my skip any steps, 41 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: and so I just like, I know, you come on 42 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 3: here and give people their flowers. But like I was 43 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 3: excited to do this to you because I. 44 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: Was like, Oh'm so happy for her, because you were 45 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: you saw it. A lot of people. 46 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 2: If you didn't know me, know me during that time, 47 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 2: you would just be like, oh, yeah, she seemed like 48 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 2: she was cool. But like to know what I was 49 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 2: going through and the struggle, and just like trying to 50 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 2: make it in that time, and then to see how 51 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 2: we both. 52 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: Made it, it's crazy. 53 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you were I never looked at it like struggle. 54 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:32,799 Speaker 3: You were always creating. So yeah, I literally like it's 55 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 3: terrible the internet, like how we keep up with each other. 56 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 3: But like, I've never felt far away from you because 57 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I have a crystal doing yep. Oh, 58 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 3: I'm trying to do my natural hair in the pandemic Chrystal, 59 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 3: we posting videos about doing natural hair, and you were 60 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 3: always creating content. And so now to see you at 61 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 3: the highest level of what content is, it's like, oh, 62 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 3: that just makes sense. Wow, I love it. 63 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: I love it. I want to talk about you. Okay, 64 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: oh my gosh. No, seriously, so proud of you. 65 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 2: But in college you started I'm promoting parties. 66 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: Yes, now, what even brought that about? 67 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 3: I wanted to go to the club for free. 68 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: Really, I was like, you know, so, how can I 69 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: do this? 70 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 3: Seriously? Like you No, that's how it started, I think 71 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 3: the first. I'm from Atlanta. I've been going to the 72 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 3: club since I was like fourteen years old, the real club. 73 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: Like the group. 74 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, like started early, but there was a point like 75 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 3: when I was going to team parties and stuff, and 76 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 3: I would go and then I had a lot of 77 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,119 Speaker 3: friends there. I would go to the party, I would 78 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 3: have a good time, and then I would leave and 79 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 3: there were other people that were staying, and I was like, well, 80 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: why did they stay? What do they stay for? And 81 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 3: they have to count the money it's just their party, 82 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, I want to stay. I want 83 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 3: to count the money. Basically, I've always been extremely business minded. 84 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 3: I never really knew how to have fun. I would 85 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 3: have fun, but if there was some business that I 86 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 3: could attach to fund, I'm like, what is this? And 87 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 3: so I really started promoting parties because I was like, cool, 88 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 3: if I'm going to be an entrepreneur, this is easy. 89 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 3: I get to have a good time. I don't have 90 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 3: to pay to. 91 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: Go to the club anymore. 92 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 3: I want to learn this skill that I didn't even know. 93 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 3: You know, I didn't know how valuable it was back then. 94 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 3: But yeah, and then I just wanted to be a 95 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 3: little business owner. I didn't know what the hell I 96 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 3: was doing, Like I'm gonna make me an LLC and 97 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 3: like do the thing. 98 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 2: Oh wow, that is crazy. What were you majoring in? 99 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 2: Were you a business major. 100 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 3: So I don't I have no clue what I was 101 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 3: majoring in. I did a year and a half at Kennessall, 102 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 3: maybe two before I officially dropped out, and just wasn't 103 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 3: going I spent way more time at Georgia State throwing 104 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 3: parties and like networking and literally like meeting all the 105 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 3: people that I work with now. And so you know, 106 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 3: I never told you, like stay in school kids, but 107 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 3: I never tell anybody like, oh, drop out of college. 108 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 3: But that experience that I had, and like the choices 109 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 3: that I was making, they worked out for me. I 110 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 3: knew what I was doing. I was on a mission, 111 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 3: and so that was like a time for me to 112 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 3: connect with people. But I was not inspired in my 113 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: economics class or just any any of those things. I 114 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 3: was like, where, guys, where am I gonna use this? 115 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna right now type of person right and 116 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 3: right now. This is not This is not helping me 117 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 3: at night when I'm counting money and trying. It wasn't 118 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 3: helping me with my business. And I'm like, no, this 119 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 3: is like getting rich quick ski it makes sense. And 120 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,119 Speaker 3: so I don't know if I ever even picked a major. 121 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 3: I just like I knew I was gonna be major, 122 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 3: so I was like, they, I'm gonna try this thing out, 123 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 3: But I don't think this is for me. 124 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 2: Gets you were you always like that, even as a kid, 125 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 2: like in your early years. 126 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I'm I don't want to call it stubborn. 127 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 3: I've always been focused, like always down to try stuff. 128 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 3: When I was in high school, name a club, I 129 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 3: was in it, junior beat of Speech and Debate. I 130 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: was the president of the school fricking for three years. 131 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 3: Like if there was something I could do, I wanted 132 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 3: to do it. And I just like didn't want to 133 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 3: do anything that I didn't want to do, and I wouldn't. 134 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 3: You couldn't force me to, And if I had to 135 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 3: learn a lesson about it later, that was fine with me. 136 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: But I've always made my own decisions. And I think 137 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 3: I maybe don't give my mom enough credit for like 138 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 3: allowing me to make my own decisions, right cause she 139 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 3: was just like, fine, you in the school play. Cool, 140 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 3: do the school play. You don't want to join the band, Fine, 141 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 3: don't join the band. Yeah, it was like, cool, this 142 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 3: is my life is in my hands. 143 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: That's cool. I love it. 144 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 2: And see where it's taking you now, making those in 145 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 2: staying down business at a very young age. 146 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: You kind of set those principles early. 147 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 3: But I've learned things too. So my mom tried to 148 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 3: get me to get braces when I was in middle school, 149 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 3: and I was like, no, I'm gonna be rich and 150 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 3: there's these things called veneers and I'll get veniers and 151 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 3: she was like fine. And so my sister got braces, 152 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 3: her teeth were perfectly straight, and I had to pay 153 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 3: for my own visual line last year. Should have listened 154 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: to my mama, But it took me over a decade 155 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: to learn this lesson, so I'm still I'm still growing. 156 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: Mama, know its good. Listen. You should have listened to 157 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: your moob. That is so funny. 158 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 2: So you're promoting parties in college and then you tap 159 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 2: into the music industry. 160 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: How did that even come about? Uh? 161 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 3: First of all, in Atlanta, it's all like this, right, 162 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 3: So it really is everything except for film until now. Right. 163 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 3: So if you're in Atlanta, your aspiration, if you don't 164 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 3: want to go to ugen and become a lawyer, is 165 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 3: to be a music That's what I know. That's why 166 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: I moved here to throw parties. 167 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 2: Yes, a lot of money because they are doing it 168 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 2: for no literally and making a lot of money. 169 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 3: Doing it, which that's somebody's cup of tea. But for me, 170 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 3: I just like I I never really like wanted to 171 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 3: be something specific. I've never been like that. So like 172 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 3: if I was younger, like oh, what do you want 173 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 3: to be? I wasn't on no, like I want to 174 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 3: be a firefighter want I was never on none of that. 175 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 3: I'm like, I like then, I'm like, I like to 176 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 3: tell people what to do. So wherever I gotta work 177 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 3: and whatever I gotta do, where I can be the ball, 178 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 3: That's what I want to do. And I think as 179 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 3: I started trying things in college, I would just like 180 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 3: roll into the next thing. So when I was promoting parties, 181 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 3: I had somebody come to me and say, hey, if 182 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 3: you can promote a party, you could probably promote an artist. 183 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, cool, well, Flyers A Flyer CD's 184 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: a CD. I could pass that out too. DJ Scream 185 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 3: is actually the person who gave me my first check 186 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 3: and was like, can you promote a mixtape? I'm like, hell, yeah, 187 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 3: give them to me. I'm passing all out by myself. 188 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 3: And so then someone else came to me and say Hey, 189 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,239 Speaker 3: if you can promote a artist, you could probably manage 190 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 3: an artist. And I'm like, that's cool, Like give me 191 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 3: an artist to manage, let's do it. And that's literally 192 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 3: how I ended up meeting Booth Wow. And so he's like, 193 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 3: if you can run around with this artist, you could 194 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 3: be my assistant. I'm like, yeah, I can't. Come on, 195 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 3: let's do it. And it was just like I really 196 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 3: take that getting your foot in the door thing very seriously, 197 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 3: Like a lot of the younger generation like really want 198 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: to skip steps. 199 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: Let's talk about it. 200 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,680 Speaker 3: And I think if maybe I had the opportunity to 201 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 3: the way the Internet wasn't built like this, I might have. 202 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 3: But I'm so fortunate that I didn't have the opportunity 203 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 3: that it was like always one foot in front of 204 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 3: the other. And I believe that I got to where 205 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 3: I'm going faster and will always have more longevity because 206 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 3: I never skipped over. 207 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 2: Absolutely, I want to talk about those moments. What were 208 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 2: some of the defining moments as an assistant as you're 209 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 2: taking these steps, because being an assistant is not the 210 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 2: same as being the boss that you are. Now, you 211 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, You are like running things, what 212 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: was that like, because some people they I feel like 213 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 2: the younger generation, they want to skip right to the boss. 214 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 2: What were some of those defining moments as an assistant 215 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 2: where that made you either feel like I don't want 216 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 2: to do this or no, this is exactly where I 217 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 2: want to be. 218 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 3: I think that my assistant experience was unlike many people. 219 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 3: My boss at the time, Boo, who you know very well, 220 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 3: was really challenged me and he was really tough on me. 221 00:09:54,760 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 3: And because he was who he was, he required me 222 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 3: to have a lot of knowledge about what I was 223 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 3: doing because I would have to show up as him 224 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 3: a lot of the time. Whatever it was he was doing, 225 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 3: and I got I got fired. He probably fired me 226 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 3: like two or three times. Bring me back because you 227 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 3: don't know his social Security number and I haven't. Yeah, 228 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 3: he fired me one time for doing something with a contract. 229 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 3: I forgot what I did. It was it was something stupid, 230 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 3: but I didn't know. This was my first time in music. 231 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, everyone can read the contract. 232 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:33,959 Speaker 4: Right, and they're like, no, everybody can, and he's like, 233 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,439 Speaker 4: you know, he fired me, and then you know, I 234 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 4: think it was like two days later he called me 235 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 4: and was like I needed you to book a flight 236 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 4: and I didn't say nothing. 237 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 3: I just booked a flight and I went back to 238 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,119 Speaker 3: the office. 239 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: The next day. 240 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 3: So there were those challenges, but also just like he 241 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:53,959 Speaker 3: made me him had access to meeting people, I was 242 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 3: able to be in the room. I was on the call, 243 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,040 Speaker 3: so like I'm hearing how La Read is talking and 244 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 3: and why this song, why Rude Boy is the song 245 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 3: to pick? And I'm booking flights and seeing him like 246 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 3: travel around with Lehanna, what does it take to be 247 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 3: on a tour? And I just saw everything in that position, 248 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 3: like I have more visibility than I would ever give 249 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 3: anybody who assist me, because no, but yeah, he showed 250 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 3: me everything, and thank God for him that I was 251 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 3: somebody who was responsible. But that is always going to 252 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,319 Speaker 3: be the most important job I ever have. It will 253 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 3: always be the most impactful position that I've ever had. 254 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,719 Speaker 3: I have never met more people in my life, including you, 255 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 3: through anybody else or any other job position, that have 256 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,719 Speaker 3: come back around to help me in some way or 257 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 3: vice versa than in that position. So I'm always so 258 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 3: grateful for it. And yeah, I just like I became 259 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 3: the boss that I am by watching somebody do it. 260 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 3: But he allowed me to be it in a humble way, 261 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 3: so you can come and play as me so you 262 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 3: understand what's going on. But I never overstepped as like, oh, 263 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 3: I'm ready, I'm ready for this. It was more like 264 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 3: I'm not, so what more do I need to know? 265 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,839 Speaker 3: How do they do this? How I was taking notes? 266 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so important. 267 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 2: But I love that because there is such an importance 268 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 2: of honoring every step that you're in. I was a 269 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 2: production assistant, and then I ended up becoming not passing 270 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: a few things that I did, but I was an assistant, 271 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 2: a personal production assistant. Then I became a background costumer. 272 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 2: Then I became a costumer, then a costume designer. But 273 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,560 Speaker 2: quite like your experience with Bu as his assistant, that 274 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: was my experience with Tyler as his stylist. 275 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: Not being him or like stepping. 276 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 2: Into his shoes, but being around him, like hearing how 277 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 2: he ran business, seeing how he carried himself around fans 278 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: and around business people, and the conversations that I was 279 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 2: privy to helped me to be the businesswoman I am today. 280 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 2: And I do not take that lightly. I never did. 281 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 2: And the places that he took me, the exposure that 282 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 2: I got from being around him things that I would 283 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 2: have never experienced at that age or at that time, 284 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 2: or even with what I was bringing in, I would 285 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 2: have never gotten to do those things. And it really 286 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 2: helped shape who I am today and help handle what 287 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: I'm doing now. So I know exactly what you mean 288 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 2: about that. 289 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, And it's funny cause I took that m Like. 290 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 3: I didn't ask for that type of treatment, cause at 291 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 3: the time, I was like, why are you being so 292 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 3: mean to me? 293 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: Right? 294 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,839 Speaker 3: But now I appreciate it. But I really took that. 295 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 3: And when I had an opportunity to work with Nick Cannon, 296 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 3: the only reason why I did that was because I 297 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 3: was like, oh, I know what happens when you're around 298 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 3: somebody like this, Right, So if you're a person that 299 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,559 Speaker 3: I respected, Meyer, I wanna do anything like what you do. 300 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: MM. 301 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 3: I just want to be around you. And so I 302 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 3: had at that time taken a step back in my 303 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 3: career to force myself to have the same experience that 304 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 3: I learned that worked, cause I just wanted to move 305 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 3: around with him MM and see and see what that 306 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 3: was like and how you treated people and how you 307 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 3: show up to things. How are you I want to 308 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 3: know how the hell he was getting so many things done. 309 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: That man, and it days busy. That's a listen, I 310 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 1: need Nick, what's up? Man? I actually need to come 311 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: shattery you myself because it'll. 312 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 3: Bring him here. 313 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 2: Like I went and did his show, but he needs 314 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 2: to come here because that is insane. That man has 315 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 2: so many jobs and I'm like, how are you in 316 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 2: all these places? 317 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 3: But it was a wonder right and so when I 318 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 3: had the opportunity to see it, I know how he 319 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 3: shows up to everything on time. You have a great 320 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 3: experience when you come in. He comes and he does 321 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 3: the job he says yes to. If he cares about you, 322 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 3: he'll say yes to anything that you ask him to do. 323 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 3: And he'll say you have an hour. I'll be there 324 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 3: at three o'clock and I'm leaving at four o'clock cause 325 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 3: i gotta get on a jet to go see with 326 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 3: the twins. But like, I'm committed to you with what 327 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 3: you need to do. And I took a lot of 328 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 3: things from him about it was like less business stuff 329 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 3: but more about how to show up and be a 330 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 3: good person and make sure that people have a good 331 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 3: experience with you. So it's not about him being busy. 332 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 3: He's booked and busy because he's a great experience. When 333 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 3: he shows up to the. 334 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: Job, he is that he is a shout out Nick Cannon. 335 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: That's amazing. 336 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 2: I used to do music and I was trying to 337 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 2: get a record deal and all these things. And I 338 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 2: remember one thing Boo told me when I first moved 339 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 2: to Atlanta. He said, Crystal, give yourself a set period 340 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 2: of time of how long you're gonna chase this and 341 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 2: if it doesn't work, find something else. He was like, 342 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 2: because this industry is crazy. And what I found was 343 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 2: that it's such a male dominated industry and it was 344 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: tough navigating that as a woman who didn't have a 345 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: big team behind her to kind of protect me. You know, 346 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 2: with you working in such a male dominated industry, how 347 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 2: did you navigate that? 348 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 3: He's so tough. Yeah, I'm like a lot of crazy 349 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 3: ass advice, just like he did you at a very 350 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 3: young age, where I'm like, oh shit, all right, cool yep. 351 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 3: I So one thing that I try to make very 352 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 3: clear is like I do not push the agenda that 353 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 3: it is hard to be a woman in the music 354 00:15:53,960 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 3: business because of your womanhood. I don't like that. I 355 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 3: respect everything that every woman that went through anything to 356 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 3: get into this business before me went through. They are 357 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 3: the people that made it easier for me or for 358 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 3: me to have the experience that I had. But I 359 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 3: hate pushing the narrative to any young person. It's going 360 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 3: to be hard for you because you're a woman, because 361 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 3: when you go into it like that, you already set 362 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 3: yourself up to experience this thing that you fear so much. 363 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 3: And I believe in that you experience what you fear. 364 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 3: Nobody ever put that on me. No one ever made 365 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 3: me think that. I came into it working at a 366 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 3: male dominant company with Bo and Lee and all the 367 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 3: you know, everybody that was around. They respected me, They 368 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 3: taught me like I said, They allowed me to be 369 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 3: in rooms. They didn't allow anybody else to disrespect me. 370 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 3: And my experience was I'm valuable because I'm a woman. Like, 371 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 3: what can I bring Because I'm a woman, y'all don't 372 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 3: know something that I know. You can't do something that 373 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 3: I can do. And so my thoughts has always been 374 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 3: it's been easier for me because I'm a woman. I'm 375 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 3: not competing with you, I'm not competing with the sex. 376 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 3: That's dominant in this field. I'm not. I'm also not 377 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 3: competing with the women. So I just like I've never 378 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 3: I never put that on myself. So I didn't experience that, 379 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 3: and I experienced it. This is me being stubborn again. 380 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 3: I did what I wanted to do, and I experienced 381 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 3: it how I want to experience it. And I want 382 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 3: to encourage anybody, doesn't matter what age you are, and 383 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 3: that's coming into it to like figure out what you 384 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 3: appreciate about you instead of going into everything thinking about 385 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 3: what you don't have or what the lack is. But 386 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 3: on this, I'm from there, I'm this old whatever. It's like, 387 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 3: why is that a good thing? That's how I've tried 388 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 3: to think. 389 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 1: It seems to Yeah, it's working, Yeah it has. 390 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 2: You ended up deciding to leave Atlanta and moved to 391 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 2: Los Angeles. Was that the first big pivot that you 392 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 2: made in big wrists and jump and say hey, I'm leaving? 393 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 1: Or had you left Atlanta before? 394 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 3: I left Atlanta? As soon as I quit working with Boo, 395 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 3: I left Atlanta to take a job at a talent agency. 396 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,200 Speaker 3: I had snuck off child. Me and Boo fell out. 397 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 3: He was mad at me. He would get mad, but 398 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 3: he always he's like, all right, we did, but he 399 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: was mad. I ran off to La as I got 400 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 3: to get that hell out of here. I have to 401 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 3: changed my life. I was reading a book called Conversations 402 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 3: with God, and I was like, I'm out, I'm taking 403 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 3: a risk, and I took a job at a talent 404 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:43,119 Speaker 3: agency in LA and I was sleeping on my homegirl 405 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 3: Ozzie On's couch at the time, and it was not 406 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 3: for me. 407 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: That two weeks. 408 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, y'all got me messed up. I 409 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 3: don't want to have to go to jail in La 410 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 3: so I need to come back home. And they got 411 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 3: cried and lied to my boss at the time that like, Lord, 412 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: I probably I think I put death on somebody. I 413 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 3: was like, I had a death in the family. I 414 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 3: have to go. It's an emergency to go. My stuff 415 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 3: just made it to La on a truck. I turned 416 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 3: around and moved back to Atlanta and was like, never mind, yeah, 417 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 3: about two weeks, give it take. I wasn't ready. And 418 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 3: you know, on the one hand, I'm like, I wish 419 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 3: I would have stuck it out, But everything worked out 420 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 3: so perfectly. That's when I went back and started working 421 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 3: with k Camp and mother friends that I grew up with, 422 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: and surprising enough, because his career was blossoming, he was 423 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 3: spending a lot of time in LA. So now when 424 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 3: I started going, I would stay for like three months 425 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 3: at a time, but I was with my people and 426 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 3: I was doing things I was supposed to be doing 427 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,680 Speaker 3: and I was meeting the right people, and so that 428 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 3: helped me adjust when I made the big decision like no, 429 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna move and there is no turning around. 430 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 2: Wow, And what was that like once you get to 431 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 2: La whole new world? 432 00:19:59,080 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 3: Oh, I was ready? 433 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: You were ready this one? 434 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my mind was adjusted. I had got 435 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 3: my job at Spotify, and I was I was very 436 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 3: proud and I'll always be proud that I didn't have 437 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 3: to leave to be successful whatever I thought success was. 438 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 3: I got that job here and I worked here for 439 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 3: a year doing it. And then there was just one point, 440 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 3: for two different reasons. One, when you leave Atlanta, you 441 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 3: really realize how many people you don't know. When I 442 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,199 Speaker 3: lived here, I said, this is it, like I'm popping. 443 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,919 Speaker 3: Ain't nobody else for me to meet? And then I 444 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 3: started traveling in New York and traveling in LA for 445 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 3: this job, and I was like, I don't know anybody 446 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 3: and they don't know me, which is like that that 447 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 3: was my thing in Atlanta. I have a great reputation here. 448 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 3: If you've worked with me, you love me. If you 449 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 3: if somebody asked about Ambergrints, I know what you're gonna say. 450 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 451 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 3: I got up out of here and people were like, 452 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 3: who the fuck are you? And I was like, oh, 453 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 3: that's a problem. Okay, this is a new challenge. You 454 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 3: don't know who I am? Well, you know, get ready right, 455 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 3: that's me? And yes, I was ready to move because 456 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: I was like, there's this whole new world out there 457 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,360 Speaker 3: and I need to jump into it and get this 458 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 3: to be this process up right, they have to meet me. 459 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 3: I'm a great girl. And uh. And then I just 460 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 3: realized that my husband wasn't in Atlanta. I was like, 461 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,160 Speaker 3: you're not here. 462 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 1: He mine, girl, Listen, I ain't convinced he's not here. 463 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 3: I have to take us straight off of business. But 464 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 3: really that was a deciding factor. I was like, love 465 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,119 Speaker 3: love y'all. Everybody who I ever dated or whatever you 466 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 3: call that in Atlanta talking because it don't really be 467 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 3: I don't know what we do got to get it together. 468 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 3: We got to get it together. But whoever I was 469 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 3: talking to one point where I was like, yeah, like, 470 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 3: it's not going to happen for me here and me 471 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 3: being in a relationship was important. I also am not 472 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 3: one of those girls that want to work, work, work 473 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 3: and have no personal life and end up. But I 474 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,439 Speaker 3: don't like cats, So I intentionally was like, my husband's 475 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 3: not here, Sonny to go find out maybe where they reside, and. 476 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: There wasn't there. 477 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 3: And then my job. I was in my job at Spotify, 478 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 3: but I already knew that I wanted a new opportunity 479 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 3: and whatever my next opportunity was, had no idea what 480 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 3: it was. It also wasn't here for me. 481 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 1: The realization I love that you were aware that it's 482 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,400 Speaker 1: not here, and now, yeah, you were right. 483 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,160 Speaker 2: You were onto something now because I've been saying it's 484 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 2: so ghetto in this dating pool here in Atlanta, and 485 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 2: I hear. 486 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 3: It's ghetto everywhere, right, Yeah, I really hard, That's what 487 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 3: I hear. But I me and my boyfriend started dating 488 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 3: my first official day there, so. 489 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 2: I didn't experience that was wow, y'all met your first 490 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,200 Speaker 2: official day in La. 491 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 3: Yes, I knew him not well, so he was somebody 492 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 3: that was around. He has a totally different story of 493 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 3: how he met because he was like, I had emailed you. 494 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 3: I was already like trying to and I'm like, I 495 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 3: don't know if he pulled up the email, He's like, 496 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 3: you never responded. I was like, that sounds right, that 497 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 3: sounds like, but I'm very intentional about well, at this 498 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 3: moment in my life, I got very intentional about dating 499 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,640 Speaker 3: because I was like, I want something different, I want 500 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 3: someone different. I went through like a lot of frogs, 501 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,719 Speaker 3: so now I actually know how I want to be treated. 502 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 3: And I was, I was on the apps. I was like, 503 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 3: I'm willing to put myself out there and do whatever 504 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 3: it is that I have to do. I'm reading books, 505 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 3: I'm doing whatever it is I have to do to 506 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,680 Speaker 3: prepare myself for whoever it is. To recognize him, right, 507 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,479 Speaker 3: because I don't have problems dating. I know people do so, 508 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,879 Speaker 3: but I had a problem and I think many women 509 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 3: do recognizing your person, yeah, because they wouldn't be needing 510 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 3: them to break into our house, right. 511 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: No, literally, it's ridiculous, and so it wasn't. 512 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 3: I was very intentional that like when he shows up. 513 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 3: I don't really care what he looks like. I have 514 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 3: my like three non negotiables. I think you should only 515 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 3: half five, but I have my three non negotiables. And 516 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 3: as long as you were you were cool and not that, 517 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 3: I'll give you a chance. And that's the energy I 518 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,680 Speaker 3: came out with here. And the first person who asked 519 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 3: me on a date was a white boy with a ponytail, 520 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,719 Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, what's up? 521 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 1: Run it right, shake off? 522 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 3: What's up? 523 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: Take me to dinner? Baby, literally asked me to dinner. 524 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 3: I was like, let's go tomorrow, and we went and 525 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 3: that was it from. 526 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: Wow, that is crazy. Okay, So John need to go 527 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:30,320 Speaker 1: to LA. 528 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 3: Six years right. 529 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,879 Speaker 1: See, that's what I'm saying. She left New York. It's 530 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: the intention. 531 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 3: I tell him all the time. He doesn't like when 532 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,399 Speaker 3: I say it that like I made you in my mind, 533 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 3: like shout out to your mom too, but like I 534 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 3: I created you, and then you showed up to me 535 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,480 Speaker 3: as the person that I created. Because I wasn't like 536 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 3: I mean him to be six months high and that 537 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 3: I didn't care what you came in at the time. 538 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 3: I was like, I will recognize it when I see 539 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 3: it and that was it and I received it instead 540 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 3: of so I was playing lovers blind. I didn't even 541 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 3: need to be in the pod child. Everybody needs to 542 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,120 Speaker 3: get it together. 543 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,639 Speaker 2: I need to get in together because I've had people 544 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:22,439 Speaker 2: say I hope this guy's interested and the first time like. 545 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 1: Like, so I need Yeah, I definitely. Look. 546 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 2: I'm like cause the first thing you do is you 547 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 2: see you know what I'm saying, So I see it. 548 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, Nah, that ain't And then I go to 549 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: the Instagram and I'm. 550 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 3: Like, you're so lucky as a woman that we we 551 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 3: can grow to be attracted to people. 552 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, because they did unattracted guys And then actually was 553 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 2: like he's just so like I just loved it. 554 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 3: Maybe unattractive to you, but it's like, girl, I don't 555 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 3: need you to be attracted. 556 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: By attracted to you. 557 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope he's ugly like whatever, but it's like, uh, 558 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,959 Speaker 3: the my favorite thing about my boyfriend is his uh 559 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 3: financial literacy. M Like when he started telling me about 560 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 3: credit and money and what I need to do, and 561 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 3: I was like, wow, so so cute. You were cut before, 562 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 3: but express I was like, this card is really hard, 563 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna have one of the easy like, yeah, 564 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 3: that's easy. 565 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 1: Apply. 566 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 3: But he taught me so much stuff that like nobody 567 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 3: was teaching me. I was at Spotify at the time. 568 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 3: He could tell me what to do with by Stock. 569 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,480 Speaker 3: That was interesting conversation to me. I don't want to 570 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 3: talk about TV shows and stuff with somebody. I was like, 571 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 3: this is cool. And so while I thought he was 572 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 3: attractive the whole time, he began to get more and 573 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 3: more attractive and more and more husband like as the 574 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 3: conversations went on. And if you don't give somebody a chance, 575 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 3: you never get there. 576 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: You don't. That is so true. Okay, she's getting that. 577 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 1: You give me advice? What are you thinking? 578 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 5: Because because you've said and I made a note here 579 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 5: about the three, but you believe that woman should have 580 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,640 Speaker 5: five and I think that. 581 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 3: You mat more than five. Right, how do you get 582 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 3: to a place. 583 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,280 Speaker 5: Where you even begin recognizable? 584 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 1: What are your non negotiables for you? 585 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,359 Speaker 3: Right? And then and then. 586 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, how do you how do you begin to how 587 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 5: did you begin to establish like, Hey, these are the 588 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 5: I set the intention that I'm going to move and 589 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,720 Speaker 5: I want to find love, and then you set the 590 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 5: intention of like and these are my non negotiables. 591 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 3: There's a process there. Yeah. I think it's it's like 592 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,120 Speaker 3: having sitting down and having a conversation with yourself, right 593 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 3: like when you're later in your dating life. I guess 594 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,719 Speaker 3: it's like you have experience. So instead of dating the 595 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 3: same person, why would you take some time and reflect, yes, 596 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 3: and like think about what you really didn't like, or 597 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 3: would you maybe you know, could have dealt with Like 598 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 3: if you went on one date with somebody and you're like, oh, 599 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,439 Speaker 3: red flag, because I know we do that, Like I 600 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,159 Speaker 3: could have went on a second date with him, Like 601 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 3: I don't. I don't even have the information. I hadn't 602 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 3: ask enough questions. I ran away. I think people need 603 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 3: to stop and reflect, especially when they have the data. 604 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 3: And the reason why I say the five non negotiables 605 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 3: is because like one thing that I know we do 606 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 3: is make a long list of all the things that 607 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 3: we want. And this is so long that the person 608 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 3: isn't a real person. You're actually an alien literally that 609 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 3: lives on Mars. It makes no sense. So now you've 610 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 3: committed to this list that nobody can live up to, 611 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 3: and every single person that you date, you put this 612 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 3: list against them, and girl, they could have twelve out 613 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,959 Speaker 3: of the eighteen things that you have on there, and 614 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 3: you write it off because you're like, well, this is 615 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,479 Speaker 3: this is very important. So I have stuff together. I 616 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 3: know what I want to not so the I say 617 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 3: the five non negotiables because I'm like, what don't you 618 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 3: really want? Like what in that experience are you not 619 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,959 Speaker 3: willing to deal with? And it can't be a laundry 620 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 3: list or you're probably the red flag right that you're 621 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 3: expecting so much out of something, And maybe make a 622 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 3: list about what's wrong with you because somebody's gonna have 623 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 3: to accept these things about. 624 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 1: You exactly, somebody. 625 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 3: If I want somebody to wait for me because I'll 626 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 3: be late, I maybe can't complain about X y Z 627 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 3: that they do because this is who I am. I'm 628 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 3: gonna have to take somebody as who they are. But like, 629 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 3: one of one of my non negotiables is not smoking cigarettes. 630 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,720 Speaker 3: I just don't. I've dealt with somebody who smoked cigarettes before. 631 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 3: I didn't like it. I don't like cigarettes. That is 632 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 3: on my I only get fired. That is it is 633 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 3: very important to me. Won't do it, can't do it. 634 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like it doesn't even have to be that deep, 635 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 2: but I just like, I know what I don't want, 636 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 2: and women. 637 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 3: Were usually good at that because we do it with food. 638 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 3: We don't ever know we want to eat, but what 639 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 3: I don't want. You're right, it's the same concept, like 640 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 3: figure out what you were totally not willing to put 641 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,320 Speaker 3: up with and everybody else is worth having a conversation. Yeah, 642 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 3: it's worth going on a second date. 643 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,480 Speaker 2: Where did you get that concept from the five nine negotiables? 644 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 3: My mind? 645 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: Well, you just created it. Yeah, I love that. 646 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 3: I read a lot of books and so I feel 647 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 3: like there were different pieces that came to me about 648 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 3: how I like creating a process of how I'm going 649 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 3: to be intentional. So this was my process. Getting on 650 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,959 Speaker 3: the apps was a part of the process. I've never 651 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 3: been on a dating that never acted. I was like, 652 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 3: I'm not. I was like, cool, I've never tried that, 653 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 3: so how could I say, I'm really trying and there's 654 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 3: this whole arena where I don't exist And it was cool, 655 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 3: it was fun. I was on rye up, let's do 656 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 3: the stuff. But I think just putting myself out there 657 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 3: in that way brought somebody to me that had nothing 658 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 3: to do with the app. You attracted it, but we 659 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 3: shut ourselves down in a lot of different ways where 660 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 3: we're like, oh, I'm so much trouble finding me and 661 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 3: I can't date. I can't and you're like, well you're not. 662 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 1: I wasn't leaving the house like I was. 663 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 3: Going to break in. I think everybody should make their 664 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 3: own plan. And I'm always open and I love talking 665 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 3: to I love talking to my friends about me. This 666 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 3: is like my secret passion in another life. I am 667 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 3: like a dating coach or whatever you call like a matchmaker, 668 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 3: and I just help us get it together. But I 669 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 3: feel like I got to be married or nobody's gonna 670 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 3: trust me and my advice. Like I'm really good. You 671 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 3: got to create your process. You have to create what 672 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 3: works for you. And I know a big example. One 673 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,440 Speaker 3: of my friends came to me and you know, she's 674 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 3: looking she was looking for love, and she's like she's 675 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 3: meeting people, but like you know, it's very important to 676 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 3: her that someone be very close to God like they 677 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 3: need to be, and she is that person. To me, 678 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 3: she is very close to God. She has given me 679 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 3: every book on spirituality that I ever read, and she 680 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 3: taught me everything I know about my relationship with God. 681 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 3: And I'm like, you have been that person for me 682 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 3: and you never cared, as one of my closest friends, 683 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 3: how close I was to God and you offered me 684 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 3: the best that you have to give and we are 685 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 3: close because of that. So why when you meet a 686 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 3: man do you want him to come with what you 687 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 3: have to give so that you provide no value to 688 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 3: him because he is already as close to God as 689 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 3: he needs to be. When this is the most special 690 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 3: thing about you, somebody's gonna fall in love with you 691 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 3: the way I did as a friend because you have 692 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 3: to share this. So if you change that person's life 693 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 3: or bring them closer to God, you guys are going 694 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 3: to have something amazing. But you you want him to 695 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 3: come with all the all the information, and I'm like, 696 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,239 Speaker 3: that's your gift. Why does it matter? I mean not 697 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,480 Speaker 3: atheists like that, but I just like that was one 698 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 3: of those moments where I was like, we just kind 699 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 3: of set ourselves up in the wrong way, and we 700 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 3: need to think about the things that we say sometimes 701 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,760 Speaker 3: and the things that we do and why, Yeah, certain 702 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:50,160 Speaker 3: things matter. 703 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,239 Speaker 2: That's so true because I feel like as women, I 704 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 2: know I'm talking to one of my girlfriends before because 705 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 2: she was kind of harping on some things that her 706 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 2: boyfriend was doing. And I was like, well, you don't 707 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 2: get mad when I don't call you, or I was like, 708 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 2: so why is it? 709 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 3: Like? 710 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 1: Why are you? 711 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 2: Why do we put certain stipulations on our man that 712 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 2: we don't do on our friends. And we love our friends, 713 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: you know, and a lot of times we choose our traditional unconditionally. Yeah, 714 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 2: And and it made me think sometimes should we bring 715 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 2: that same type of a gope love that we have 716 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 2: for our girlfriends into our relationships with our men. 717 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, when you have to figure out where your mind 718 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 3: is right at the point where it's a respect issue, 719 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 3: you know, I do have standards for my friends. If 720 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 3: you say you are coming over at two, I expect 721 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,479 Speaker 3: you to come over too, if you don't be like 722 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 3: where was you at? If I tell if my man 723 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 3: say he's coming home at midnight and you come home 724 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 3: at five am, I'll be like, where there was you at? 725 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 3: So it's like, you don't you know, in healthy friendships, 726 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 3: you don't just let your real friends slide with shame. 727 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 3: You guys have boundaries. But I agree with what you're saying. 728 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 3: It's no different than friends, I have a There's so 729 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 3: many things I should keep to myself, but. 730 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,440 Speaker 1: I uh. 731 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 3: I've had really what I thought were deep relationships with 732 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 3: people in the past, and the one time that I 733 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 3: realized I really loved a person, which is my current boyfriend, 734 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,919 Speaker 3: It's like, I don't experience a missing him when I'm 735 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 3: gone because I know when I come back, he's going 736 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,839 Speaker 3: to be there. I just left you. You're doing your thing. 737 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 3: I'm doing mine, and I don't experience this like, oh 738 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 3: I'm long and pretty, Oh it's been till three days. 739 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 3: And with other people I might have been with that 740 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 3: because I felt like I owned them. Oh. Ever that 741 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 3: that that missing thing to me, and everyone doesn't agree. 742 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,320 Speaker 3: That's why I say, sometimes keep my fucking trip to myself. 743 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 3: When you when you feel like you own somebody or 744 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 3: they're yours, you're like, I want my thing back. 745 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: Where's my thing? 746 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 3: Like it's supposed to be in your back pocket? And 747 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 3: when you love someone very freely and unconditionally, they can 748 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 3: go away. They can go away for months and you're like, yes, 749 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 3: I miss you in the sense of like I wish 750 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 3: that you were here. I love to watch TV with 751 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 3: you whatever we do. But I don't feel like I 752 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 3: own you. I don't feel like your mind you are yours. 753 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,759 Speaker 3: I am me, and when we come back together, we 754 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 3: are us. But it is not like a I need 755 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 3: you here on my lap. It's sick, actually, And I 756 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 3: had to because I thought I was being weird, like, 757 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,400 Speaker 3: oh why am I not having this feeling? And I 758 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 3: was like, it's actually healthy to not feel like that. Yes, 759 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,799 Speaker 3: So I have to unlearned that high school love that 760 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 3: I was used to of like somebody that you see 761 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,080 Speaker 3: every day in the hallway, so you feel so passionate 762 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,479 Speaker 3: about them. You don't care if they work at Burger 763 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 3: king Jaw. You just like I love them. When you 764 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 3: grow up, it's not high school the things that you 765 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 3: need to care about. 766 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 1: That is so true. 767 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,320 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, that was really good. 768 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: I'm glad you. 769 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 2: Oh no, because that that's so true because I feel 770 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 2: like even with friendships, we feel like we own our 771 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 2: friends sometimes and I had went through that. But to 772 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 2: bring that into like our relationships with men, that is 773 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 2: so important and I'm gonna work on that because I've 774 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 2: definitely I feel like society has. 775 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,840 Speaker 1: It's this whole concept of. 776 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,879 Speaker 2: My man, my man, and my man he will and 777 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 2: even my therapist, she goes, that is objectifying someone. She's like, 778 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 2: you're literally like making basically what you just said, you like, 779 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,479 Speaker 2: like you own them, like it's your thing. 780 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I never thought about that. 781 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,799 Speaker 2: I thought it was like endearing, like this is my 782 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 2: man like, but no, she was like, that is literally 783 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 2: you're making him an object. 784 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, and vice versa. 785 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 3: I don't want that from somebody. I don't want to 786 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 3: give that energy to anybody. I like, I really believe 787 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 3: in the cup, the cups being fulled. Yeah, and so 788 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 3: it's like when you have to pour into somebody, then 789 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 3: you don't have something left. So then you begin to 790 00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,919 Speaker 3: resent somebody because now they're over here full and you're 791 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 3: glasses half empty, but they pour it back into you. 792 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,280 Speaker 3: Now you're like, I feel great, Yeah, And that person's 793 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 3: like everybody, I feel your own glass. There's water everywhere, 794 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 3: like you gotta you gotta fill up whatever it is 795 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,480 Speaker 3: for you. And if we both come to each other, oh, 796 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 3: then there's nothing but overflow. Yes, you know. 797 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,400 Speaker 1: And I do wanna ask you something, Being. 798 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 2: That you stepped outside of dating a black man, do 799 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 2: you feel like that had an impact on that feeling 800 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 2: because dating black men can be different than. 801 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,319 Speaker 1: They just because they have different experiences. 802 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I I can't. I I can't say I don't. 803 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 3: I don't think so. I think that I have matured 804 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 3: so much in my and let me tell you, I 805 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,279 Speaker 3: don't discriminate. I've dated my first white boy when I 806 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 3: was in kindergarten. 807 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 1: I know that's right. 808 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 3: I've never discriminated. And then there was a Columbia one 809 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,200 Speaker 3: and then you know, so it was always like I've 810 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 3: I've dated them all and I love black men to 811 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,880 Speaker 3: death honestly, like in every single way. But it was 812 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,480 Speaker 3: about who loves me. I don't care what you look like. 813 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 3: And I think I had just I was being so intentional. 814 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 3: I had grown, I was on the end of a 815 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 3: lot of bad relationships and learned lessons that I was 816 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 3: just ready to love differently and to be loved differently, 817 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 3: and I didn't It definitely didn't matter about the package 818 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,799 Speaker 3: that it came in. Yeah, it was just like, and 819 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 3: anybody could have got this work. I had worked by myself, 820 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm ready to share it with somebody. 821 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: I know that's right. 822 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:34,240 Speaker 3: Period. 823 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 2: Tyler always tells me that my husband either isn't in 824 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 2: the United States, or have you ever thought about you know? 825 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 2: And I have a lot of friends like, because have 826 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,320 Speaker 2: you ever thought about dating outside. 827 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,719 Speaker 1: Of the eras? And I am still holding a coat 828 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 1: for the black man. 829 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 3: As you should. 830 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 1: I'm holding it on, but y'all, I'm getting to my 831 00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 1: fingers are starting to let up. 832 00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 3: If ever, if ever, you get a little weary. I 833 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 3: talked with my friends about this all the time, and 834 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,440 Speaker 3: like the biggest thing is like, oh, but it's so different. 835 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:11,719 Speaker 3: There's there's so many cultural differences like taking him home, Hey, mom, well, 836 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 3: I guess since you dated different races all of your 837 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 3: whole life. And they're like, yeah, my grandma's married to 838 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 3: a white man named Terry or something. That we were cool. 839 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,759 Speaker 3: He was, if that matters, But no, never had any 840 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,840 Speaker 3: problems there. It was obviously a concern to me about 841 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,080 Speaker 3: his family. Okay, cool, Like except on this site. If 842 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:32,719 Speaker 3: accept me on that. 843 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,880 Speaker 1: Site, the best amazing, they're the best. 844 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,440 Speaker 3: They're amazing, Like they don't play that ship. They from 845 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 3: New Jersey, like they were nothing more than welcoming. And 846 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 3: I went in to make sure and he made me 847 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 3: very secure in that. But I tell my friends I'm like, 848 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 3: it's cool talking to somebody that you don't have everything 849 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 3: in common with, like that comfort that you're looking for, 850 00:39:55,920 --> 00:40:00,560 Speaker 3: Like you've seen Friday. Yeah, I seen Friday too, Funny, right, 851 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 3: I get to show you Friday, and I'm like, let's 852 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 3: make a night of you. Like and he had seated already, 853 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,280 Speaker 3: but like, I'm like, cool, Now I get to share 854 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,359 Speaker 3: this thing with you. And if you want to show 855 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:16,000 Speaker 3: me some hall and notes, then come on, we can 856 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,799 Speaker 3: play this record. And I'm like, oh, I actually know 857 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,800 Speaker 3: that so oh Diddy sampled that record, but you're sharing 858 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 3: something with me that I didn't know. And I think 859 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,440 Speaker 3: one of the we traveled early. I'm big on that, 860 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,280 Speaker 3: by the way, Yes, that was a part of my process, 861 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 3: travel early. So you know who somebody is. I'll come 862 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:37,399 Speaker 3: back to that. And we just talk and talk and talk, 863 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,560 Speaker 3: and we never run out of things to talk about 864 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,560 Speaker 3: because we have two different perspectives on a lot of things. 865 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,600 Speaker 3: You find out that there's so much in common, and 866 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 3: then all the things that are not you get to 867 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,000 Speaker 3: talk about. Yeah, And so I don't see us falling 868 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,840 Speaker 3: in that world where we have every We already know 869 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,200 Speaker 3: everything about each other and everybody's world where we're just 870 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 3: sitting at the dinner table and we're silent. You know, 871 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,920 Speaker 3: I I don't love to see that couple when I'm 872 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,879 Speaker 3: out at dinner. We will never run out of things 873 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 3: to talk about. 874 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 1: It's amazing. 875 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,760 Speaker 3: Everybody don't like to communicate though they do not. 876 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:15,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're something traveling traveling, yes, and learning a person 877 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:16,120 Speaker 2: travel early. 878 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 3: Everybody make your own intentional dating process. This was mine, 879 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 3: so my non negotiables, you know, putting myself out there. 880 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 3: And as soon as I find somebody that I'm like, okay, 881 00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:29,319 Speaker 3: I kind of like you, let's go somewhere because I'm 882 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 3: going to find out who you are and you were 883 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,440 Speaker 3: going to meet me during the stress and strife of traveling. 884 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:48,640 Speaker 3: And I invented that show. Okay, That's why Love is 885 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,239 Speaker 3: Blind resonates with me because I'm like, I did this already, okay, 886 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 3: the right way that they trimming. They need me to help. 887 00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 3: But we went to the Bahamas. I was like, cool, 888 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:03,000 Speaker 3: let's man, so many issues with this trip, but like 889 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,720 Speaker 3: I'm like, yo, my friend has like a time share there, 890 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 3: like we get stay for free, let's go, let's do it. 891 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,440 Speaker 3: Love my friend to death and so We're like, cool, 892 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:12,880 Speaker 3: we're just going to stay at this random house. We've 893 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,040 Speaker 3: never seen it before, but like, let's do it. As 894 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,400 Speaker 3: soon as we land in the Bahamas. I'm reading a book. 895 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,840 Speaker 3: Put my passport in the book as a you know, bookmark. 896 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 3: Leave the book in the taxi. 897 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,439 Speaker 1: Oh man, it's gone. 898 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:30,360 Speaker 3: Passport's gone, the book is gone. And we just pulled 899 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,319 Speaker 3: up in front of the house. The taxi drives off 900 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,400 Speaker 3: and I'm like, wow, where's my things. I'm never going 901 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,080 Speaker 3: to see this taxi driver again in my life. That 902 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:42,200 Speaker 3: is me. I do stupid stuff. I can be careless 903 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 3: at times, like you might have to deal with that. Well, 904 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 3: there's nothing we can do about it now, So like 905 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 3: you want to just like get in the pool, have 906 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 3: a good time. We'll figure out where the embassy is 907 00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,080 Speaker 3: and we'll straighten it out tomorrow. And I was like, 908 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,920 Speaker 3: that's it. You don't want to like, you know, not mad. 909 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 3: You don't want to be like, oh, how can you 910 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,360 Speaker 3: do nothing? Nothing? And I was like, that's how I 911 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,280 Speaker 3: want to be treated. I want to be giving grace 912 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,879 Speaker 3: when I do stupid things, because I do stupid shit. 913 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,720 Speaker 3: And that, you know, the next day, came to the embassy, 914 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,759 Speaker 3: with me. We sat and waited, spent half of a 915 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,359 Speaker 3: vacation like learning the process of getting over the border, 916 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,920 Speaker 3: which is not right and not fair to other people. Americans. 917 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,359 Speaker 3: They treat, let me tell you something, Let me tell 918 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,560 Speaker 3: you something. I tried to go up to that border, 919 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 3: be in the let him sleep, I'll figure it out. 920 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 3: Went to the embassy by myself with my homeboy who 921 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,640 Speaker 3: joined us on the trip. So we didn't know it 922 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 3: was going to be a three person trip. So the trip, 923 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 3: the trip is a rat. Kids like what's going on? 924 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,360 Speaker 3: But I went with my homeboy. I'm like, yeah, you 925 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,400 Speaker 3: take me. You're from here, like show me. They I 926 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,320 Speaker 3: got to that border and they were like Rihanna, please 927 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,359 Speaker 3: turn around. What are you Seriously They were like no, 928 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 3: I don't know what type type of scam you're running, 929 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,319 Speaker 3: but yeah, we'll see you later. I went up there 930 00:43:55,360 --> 00:44:01,120 Speaker 3: with my white boyfriend and they were like please, Like 931 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:07,719 Speaker 3: I was just here with Tyrone and okay, perks tough. 932 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,200 Speaker 3: But sat up in there with me all day long 933 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,640 Speaker 3: and took me to get the passport picture or come back, 934 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,480 Speaker 3: do all the things. And I was just like, yeah, 935 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:20,040 Speaker 3: this is I just want somebody who is nice. He 936 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,720 Speaker 3: laughs at me for saying that. He's like, were people 937 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:26,279 Speaker 3: mean to you? I'm like, yeah, yeah, me, maybe me. 938 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 3: Sometimes I wanted I needed somebody who was nice to me, 939 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,040 Speaker 3: and he was always nice to me, and that was 940 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:36,600 Speaker 3: one of my non negotiables. Don't be mean. That's it 941 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,759 Speaker 3: in whatever way it shows up. I don't need that. 942 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,719 Speaker 3: And so yeah, that that Bahamas trip, I. 943 00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 1: Was like, she's so cute. 944 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 3: She's like, I'm in there. 945 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,719 Speaker 1: He's the guy. I love it. I love that. I 946 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,440 Speaker 1: want to talk about your book club. 947 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,160 Speaker 2: Okay, you just started a book club because I can 948 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,400 Speaker 2: stay on dating all day, honey. 949 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:56,600 Speaker 1: I know. 950 00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,759 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm like, I've ruined the show. 951 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,320 Speaker 2: No, you literally babies, it's so good. Oh my god, No, 952 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,920 Speaker 2: it's so good, so good. But yeah, what made you 953 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,120 Speaker 2: want to start a book club? 954 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:16,640 Speaker 3: Really? I started the book club because I'm in another 955 00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,879 Speaker 3: process of my life right now. I love processes, as 956 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,600 Speaker 3: you know, yes, and I'm trying to detach my personal 957 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 3: life and my purpose from my work. 958 00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:26,520 Speaker 6: Wow. 959 00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:34,160 Speaker 3: I love my job. She's on your street right now. 960 00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,439 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's good. 961 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 3: I love my job. I love my clients, I love 962 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:44,799 Speaker 3: my life. I love every piece of every moment that 963 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:49,560 Speaker 3: I've spent over the last fourteen years completely dedicated to 964 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:54,800 Speaker 3: becoming the person that I am today in business not anymore. 965 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,359 Speaker 3: I don't think that I'm going to be able to 966 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:03,439 Speaker 3: continue to be successful without desiring to have a personal life. 967 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:05,920 Speaker 1: And so I sacrificed a lot. 968 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,640 Speaker 3: He sacrificed a lot, and so, like the relationship thing 969 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,840 Speaker 3: is one of the things a lot of women immediately 970 00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,799 Speaker 3: go like, yeah, Okay, it's fine, I'm gonna work work work. 971 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,879 Speaker 3: I don't need That was not one of the things 972 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,320 Speaker 3: that I was wanting to sacrifice. A baby was focused 973 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,440 Speaker 3: on that, but it was that in my work. So 974 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,919 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, at least I'm happy personally, but like work, work, work, work, work, 975 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:33,160 Speaker 3: And I really had like started struggling with why I 976 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,240 Speaker 3: don't have anything else that like just I enjoy that's 977 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 3: just for me. And the only thing that I enjoyed 978 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:46,600 Speaker 3: doing for free is reading anything else I'm gonna charge you, period. 979 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,719 Speaker 3: But I'm like, you know, there's a lot of young 980 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,040 Speaker 3: people that look up to me or young girls who 981 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,400 Speaker 3: have asked me to mentor and I'm like, girl, like 982 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,279 Speaker 3: I tell you a lot of things, but everything that 983 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:01,200 Speaker 3: I learned is in a book, and so you can't 984 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,320 Speaker 3: have coffee with everybody, You can't sit, you know, you 985 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,319 Speaker 3: can't do the zoom with everybody. So I'm like, how 986 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 3: can I create a space where I can answer those 987 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,360 Speaker 3: questions more people, or they can go and discover and 988 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,239 Speaker 3: get their own perspective and I can just share with 989 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,560 Speaker 3: them what helped me. And if you get something from it, amazing. 990 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,960 Speaker 3: If you don't, and you just discover a love for reading, 991 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,399 Speaker 3: then I'm happy to have given that to you too. 992 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:29,279 Speaker 3: But I think that is my purpose and whatever I 993 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,920 Speaker 3: thought my purpose was before, Like I was confusing my 994 00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:32,959 Speaker 3: purpose with my job. 995 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 6: Get off of the North Street. We just had this 996 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 6: conversation in the card the other day. Yeah it's crazy, 997 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 6: that's crazy. Yeah, it was a trick. 998 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,000 Speaker 1: The trick. Yeah, No, that's the real thing. 999 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,759 Speaker 2: And I'm guilty of And I think it's easier for 1000 00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 2: me to be like I'm just going to stay single 1001 00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,839 Speaker 2: and work because I don't have anybody. You know, if 1002 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,839 Speaker 2: I had somebody, because I love love and I feel 1003 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 2: like if I had someone, then I would try to 1004 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:09,080 Speaker 2: find that balance. But even with I feel like, now, 1005 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 2: even with this podcast, I'm finding my purpose because I 1006 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,120 Speaker 2: didn't feel like acting. That's a dream and I'm touching 1007 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:16,720 Speaker 2: people in that, but not the way I touch people 1008 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 2: with this. 1009 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:18,200 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. 1010 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 2: So if you had three books that you would tell people, 1011 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,600 Speaker 2: I know you said, Conversations with Gods that's number one. 1012 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:24,279 Speaker 1: That's number one. 1013 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,239 Speaker 2: What are two more books that you would advise or 1014 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,360 Speaker 2: recommend for people. 1015 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:32,440 Speaker 3: To Conversations with God? Number one? The second is Return 1016 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:36,080 Speaker 3: of Love, and then the third just simply because I'm 1017 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 3: a creative is always damn good advice for people with 1018 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,520 Speaker 3: talent to read it in a day. It is literally 1019 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,759 Speaker 3: just like you know about taking risk in your work 1020 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,920 Speaker 3: and showing up to work differently. Yeah, I enjoy my 1021 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,719 Speaker 3: job because I get to be myself a lot of 1022 00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,560 Speaker 3: people don't have that. And so I've worked and like 1023 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:58,000 Speaker 3: I said, I'm proud of my career amazing. Like you, 1024 00:48:58,440 --> 00:48:59,960 Speaker 3: I wouldn't have done anything different. 1025 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:00,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1026 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:04,279 Speaker 3: This is the time, though, where life is begging me 1027 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 3: to do something different because I don't even think that 1028 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,520 Speaker 3: I can be better for my clients or the book 1029 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,880 Speaker 3: I read, my book of the Month last month, Diary 1030 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,560 Speaker 3: of CEO help me be a better leader at my job. 1031 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,880 Speaker 3: I'm like, Wow, these concepts are mind blowing, you know. 1032 00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,160 Speaker 3: And I gave a big speech to my staff about 1033 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,640 Speaker 3: failure and like I was motivated to teach them. And 1034 00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:29,000 Speaker 3: so I just like, your purpose will fuel your dreams 1035 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:30,800 Speaker 3: and all these things that you're doing. But we're thinking 1036 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 3: the other way around, Like if I stick to the dream, 1037 00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,080 Speaker 3: I'll it'll fuel my purpose, and like that is not 1038 00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,600 Speaker 3: how it works. It's like very ass backwards. 1039 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:38,040 Speaker 2: It is. 1040 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,480 Speaker 1: That is my goodness. 1041 00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 2: So you rep with your label love Renassignce, you represent 1042 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,600 Speaker 2: Black Summer, Walker, de Vito, Alex Vaughn, just the name 1043 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,719 Speaker 2: a few. How do you find the balance because these 1044 00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,040 Speaker 2: are some big artists. How do you find the balance 1045 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:58,440 Speaker 2: in your relationship, your passion now and just your personal 1046 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,840 Speaker 2: life and literally running a whole record label. 1047 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,279 Speaker 3: Yeah. So one of the things that I had as 1048 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 3: a non negotiable that I took out a long time 1049 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,279 Speaker 3: ago was I don't want to date somebody in the 1050 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,239 Speaker 3: music industry. I don't want to date somebody that does 1051 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,719 Speaker 3: what I do. I could not date anybody else. My 1052 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,640 Speaker 3: boyfriend owns a record label. He understands everything that I do. 1053 00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:22,600 Speaker 3: He understands my stress, he understands the whole I don't 1054 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:24,399 Speaker 3: explain anything to him. He might have had the same 1055 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,239 Speaker 3: day as me because of his artist or whatever he's 1056 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:30,680 Speaker 3: going through. That helps me in my relationship that like, 1057 00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,960 Speaker 3: you know, you're not somebody who has to wake up 1058 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:35,440 Speaker 3: at six am, so you go to bed at eight 1059 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,560 Speaker 3: o'clock when I'm at the studio till midnight, and so 1060 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,880 Speaker 3: when I come home, it's like you see. 1061 00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,160 Speaker 1: Where the disconnects starts. 1062 00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,399 Speaker 3: We live the same life, so we can ask each 1063 00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,000 Speaker 3: other for advice, we can listen to music together, we 1064 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,960 Speaker 3: can do the things that we both love together and separately. 1065 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,880 Speaker 3: So I was able to do my personal thing in 1066 00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 3: a relationship because I made sure that it fit with 1067 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,120 Speaker 3: the thing that I care about most or that I 1068 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,600 Speaker 3: cared about most is my career. 1069 00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:03,120 Speaker 6: Yeah. 1070 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,880 Speaker 3: And then yeah, with the you make time for what 1071 00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,440 Speaker 3: you doing to make time for. When I started the 1072 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,360 Speaker 3: book club, it really taught me like, dang, I was 1073 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:19,840 Speaker 3: being lazy before because you had because I had time. Yeah, 1074 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:25,560 Speaker 3: you make time everybody. People, the artists sleep, they do 1075 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,120 Speaker 3: regardless of what they said say right. And I've always 1076 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,240 Speaker 3: been big on how I use my twenty four hours. 1077 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,360 Speaker 3: And I think that I do more than most people. 1078 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,360 Speaker 3: But I still had a little bit of time, and 1079 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,680 Speaker 3: so I wanted to I'm not doing less at my job. 1080 00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,040 Speaker 3: I'm just doing more in my life. But if this, 1081 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:48,640 Speaker 3: like other two hours of you know, shooting content makes 1082 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,520 Speaker 3: me feel fulfilled when I wake up on Monday morning, 1083 00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:54,520 Speaker 3: I'm a better person to have on the zoom. I'm 1084 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 3: proud of myself, and so I come to work happy 1085 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,239 Speaker 3: and ready to do the things. I'm more inspired. I'm 1086 00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:02,880 Speaker 3: making content. So I'm telling my artists like shit, this 1087 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,400 Speaker 3: has worked for me, so like we might need to. 1088 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,000 Speaker 3: I'm learning still, which is so important to me. When 1089 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,080 Speaker 3: you stop learning, it's over. 1090 00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,240 Speaker 1: Yes, it's over. 1091 00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:14,560 Speaker 3: Like that's when you're lost, and it's really boring. And 1092 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,799 Speaker 3: so I found, you know, my own I've always had 1093 00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,880 Speaker 3: to self teach. I didn't finish, and so I feel 1094 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,240 Speaker 3: like I'm in school again. 1095 00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:21,600 Speaker 6: Yea. 1096 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,160 Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm just excited now. And I was getting 1097 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:29,520 Speaker 3: when you're bored and miserable, you show up like that 1098 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,960 Speaker 3: and it shows up and everything you create. You have 1099 00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,920 Speaker 3: that towards your staff, you have that towards the artist 1100 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,200 Speaker 3: they're trying to make music. You can't put that energy 1101 00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,040 Speaker 3: on somebody. Yeah, and so yeah, I just wanted to 1102 00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,680 Speaker 3: make sure I needed to I did what I needed 1103 00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,960 Speaker 3: to do to be the best for everybody, and that 1104 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:47,880 Speaker 3: would make me happy. 1105 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,840 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I love that. I love that. So you 1106 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,400 Speaker 1: started your record label with five of your friends. 1107 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:55,719 Speaker 3: They started it. 1108 00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:56,920 Speaker 1: Then you joined it. 1109 00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh wow, I ampiltrayed it. 1110 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,720 Speaker 1: I'm coming alone this dope. 1111 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,880 Speaker 2: So what is because I know a lot of people 1112 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,720 Speaker 2: like they come up together, like you look at Lebron 1113 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,680 Speaker 2: and with him and Math and Rich and Randy have 1114 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:16,880 Speaker 2: all done together as friends and just really been amazing 1115 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:20,719 Speaker 2: excel together. But I know in that there can be hardships, 1116 00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,520 Speaker 2: but there also it can be beauty in that. Have 1117 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,839 Speaker 2: you guys had any situations like that? 1118 00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:25,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? 1119 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:28,000 Speaker 3: I think for me and you know how I started, 1120 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,920 Speaker 3: Like my first job felt like family. So it's people 1121 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:35,239 Speaker 3: that I know. When you join the Charm family, you're 1122 00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:35,560 Speaker 3: in there. 1123 00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:35,919 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1124 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:41,279 Speaker 3: So I've never up until Spotify, my first corporate job, 1125 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,600 Speaker 3: had a job where I wasn't working with people that 1126 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,680 Speaker 3: I don't know. Yes, ever, and that was my experience 1127 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,360 Speaker 3: because in Atlanta, we don't have a lot of buildings, 1128 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,000 Speaker 3: So if you got a job, it was because your 1129 00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,040 Speaker 3: friend was coming up or this song popped off or 1130 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,839 Speaker 3: whatever they wanted to work with you. That was my experience. 1131 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,480 Speaker 3: When I left that experience again because I wanted something different, 1132 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,160 Speaker 3: I went to a corporate setting. Luckily for me, at Spotify, 1133 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,200 Speaker 3: I fell in love with everybody that I work with, 1134 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,640 Speaker 3: still friends with everybody to this day, and incredible community. 1135 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,200 Speaker 3: I loved that went on to keep that going. And 1136 00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:17,080 Speaker 3: you know, corporate America is not family, you know, and 1137 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:23,920 Speaker 3: I think that my priorities. I've always done what I 1138 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,080 Speaker 3: have always done what makes me happy. And I didn't 1139 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,960 Speaker 3: start trying to trade my happiness for money until I 1140 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,960 Speaker 3: stopped working with people that I love. So then I 1141 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,360 Speaker 3: was like, well, this doesn't matter. I'm willing to do this. 1142 00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:38,320 Speaker 2: Because I'm making all this money right. 1143 00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:46,440 Speaker 3: And that was stupid, and so I just love her stupid. Yeah, 1144 00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:48,200 Speaker 3: but you got to go through it or else I 1145 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,799 Speaker 3: would have no, I wouldn't know. I love a good 1146 00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,880 Speaker 3: a b testing. So I went and I did that 1147 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,319 Speaker 3: and ran away from there because I knew that I 1148 00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:03,040 Speaker 3: didn't like the feeling and like somebody always does the 1149 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,880 Speaker 3: same way that when I quit that agency job, somebody 1150 00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,680 Speaker 3: that I love was there to be like you can 1151 00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:13,799 Speaker 3: come home, yes, And you know, I had grown a 1152 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,319 Speaker 3: lot in my personal career. And then these guys that 1153 00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:20,200 Speaker 3: you know an array of times, but all of them 1154 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,799 Speaker 3: I've known between being sixteen years old and twenty one. 1155 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:27,720 Speaker 1: Wow, so like these are life. 1156 00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:31,239 Speaker 3: Yes, they know me, and I watched them build an 1157 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:34,800 Speaker 3: incredible business over the last ten years, ten plus years. 1158 00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,200 Speaker 3: They watched me become an executive that they could trust, 1159 00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,360 Speaker 3: work with do things together. We've done all types of 1160 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,480 Speaker 3: crazy stuff together and support each other over the decade. 1161 00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:48,959 Speaker 3: And then it was like very serendipitous that they're like, hey, 1162 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:54,840 Speaker 3: we need this structure and a woman because it's five guys. 1163 00:55:56,040 --> 00:56:00,000 Speaker 3: It's first it's five first generation immigrants. 1164 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 2: Wow, so you know what the mood. 1165 00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:07,000 Speaker 1: Is absolutely yeah good and one. 1166 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:11,040 Speaker 3: One's Nigerian, my favorite one, my best friend and I 1167 00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:12,560 Speaker 3: did I did my twenty three and me and I 1168 00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,600 Speaker 3: found out I'm Nigerian too, So that's why we right, 1169 00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:19,400 Speaker 3: So that's the problem. We're the problem. But no we uh, 1170 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,960 Speaker 3: you know, just they said I could come home and 1171 00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:26,239 Speaker 3: I still live in La but just mentally physically spiritually, 1172 00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:29,920 Speaker 3: like I could find a place there and you know, 1173 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,960 Speaker 3: not to be you know, forward or braggadocious. But I 1174 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,759 Speaker 3: also learned in that experience that when you do, you know, 1175 00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,120 Speaker 3: give up the little teddy bear for the bigger teddy bear, 1176 00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:44,239 Speaker 3: the bat the money thing, works yourself out. 1177 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:44,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1178 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 3: Always, always it always, always I was willing to. I 1179 00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:53,040 Speaker 3: would not give up any amount of money for my happiness. 1180 00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:57,759 Speaker 3: And I would work with them for free. Don't tell 1181 00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:05,480 Speaker 3: them and are you some time? Because I love Chlo, 1182 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,480 Speaker 3: but I would. I would do what I'm doing with 1183 00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,399 Speaker 3: them for free because being able to hang around and 1184 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:16,280 Speaker 3: to work with and to create things with five people 1185 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,960 Speaker 3: that you trust and think like you, that will challenge you, 1186 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,160 Speaker 3: that'll be like now that's whack. Like shoot again, like 1187 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:26,640 Speaker 3: that's our thing, right, and uh it helps you grow 1188 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,720 Speaker 3: in so many ways. But every day I just like, uh, 1189 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,880 Speaker 3: I don't feel defeated because I'm like, I know you, 1190 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:36,080 Speaker 3: I trust you, you love me. And then they we go 1191 00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,480 Speaker 3: to therapy together. Okay, yeah we have. We've been in 1192 00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:40,800 Speaker 3: therapy together as a group. 1193 00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:41,680 Speaker 1: That was something that. 1194 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,240 Speaker 3: They were doing before I joined. 1195 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:46,320 Speaker 1: Five men. Yeah that is amazing. 1196 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,520 Speaker 3: And so I'm you know, when you talk, oh, what's 1197 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:52,720 Speaker 3: the hardships, like I'm I'm dealing with some extremely elevated beings. 1198 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,200 Speaker 3: They a lot of them the men ship that you 1199 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,800 Speaker 3: that you immediately think, oh, you're with five men. What's 1200 00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:02,040 Speaker 3: the problem. The way that they communicate with each other. 1201 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,880 Speaker 3: When I'm a fly on the wall, there's no way 1202 00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:07,960 Speaker 3: to come into this group and not elevate yourself. Yes, 1203 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:12,560 Speaker 3: and how you communicate. You can't bring toxicity into this 1204 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:16,000 Speaker 3: environment because it's very healed. Everybody individual. 1205 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:28,160 Speaker 2: She said healed me, And she said you come. 1206 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:34,960 Speaker 3: To the office and all right, me by the office. 1207 00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:44,480 Speaker 3: Whatever happens happens right right. And when I get back, 1208 00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,600 Speaker 3: we're going to down to the office. You know, I 1209 00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,160 Speaker 3: can't speak for what everybody got going on in their 1210 00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,919 Speaker 3: personal life. It has come to the LL, but they 1211 00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,080 Speaker 3: come with their own set of problems too. But like 1212 00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:58,760 Speaker 3: we can talk to each other and that fixes everything. 1213 00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,000 Speaker 1: That's one of my non negotia. 1214 00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,960 Speaker 3: Have to be but like immediately too, not like I'm 1215 00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,760 Speaker 3: holding on to something we just had too. 1216 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:08,240 Speaker 1: I can't. 1217 00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,880 Speaker 3: I'm not a rug sweeper. You can't be like that. 1218 00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:14,680 Speaker 3: You start to I'm an aquarium. So I'll start overthinking 1219 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,640 Speaker 3: and attributing what you just said to your whole personality, 1220 00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,880 Speaker 3: like this is the type of person you are, because 1221 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,760 Speaker 3: I'm ready to fall out I'm all ready to fall 1222 00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,000 Speaker 3: out with anybody all the time. And we talk and 1223 00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:26,840 Speaker 3: so tune today. Like I said, that is that is 1224 00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,640 Speaker 3: the person who brought me into this. I've known him 1225 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,680 Speaker 3: since I was sixteen years old. He was letting me 1226 00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,520 Speaker 3: in the club and like, if I piss him off, 1227 00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:37,360 Speaker 3: if he does something, piss me off. Were on the call. 1228 00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,919 Speaker 3: As soon as we hang the zoom up, I'm like, hey, 1229 00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:44,240 Speaker 3: what you meant by that? Immediately and he's like, oh 1230 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,640 Speaker 3: you you you were getting emotional to her. You gotta 1231 00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:50,280 Speaker 3: you gotta handle it this way, and all right, fine, 1232 00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:54,920 Speaker 3: yah good. Yeah, it is never any residue. 1233 00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:56,640 Speaker 1: I love that. 1234 00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:00,440 Speaker 3: And you can build a friendship like that, you can 1235 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,640 Speaker 3: build a business like that. You can have longevity with 1236 01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:07,560 Speaker 3: somebody or with multiple people or whatever you do. As 1237 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:11,000 Speaker 3: long as there's no residue after y'all clean up, there's 1238 01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:15,240 Speaker 3: always gonna be something to clean up. Yeah, But they 1239 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:19,840 Speaker 3: respect and appreciate what I bring as a woman, and 1240 01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:26,960 Speaker 3: I respect and appreciate being able to I respect and 1241 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:33,320 Speaker 3: appreciate not having a fight. Like I'm a black woman, 1242 01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:38,680 Speaker 3: I'm young for my role, and I'm a college dropout, 1243 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,880 Speaker 3: Like I don't have no paper to wave in somebody's 1244 01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:44,720 Speaker 3: face about what I know and they don't question me 1245 01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:45,920 Speaker 3: about anything. 1246 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,600 Speaker 1: I love that. Shout out to our five Black men 1247 01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:55,320 Speaker 1: and love renaissance. Yes, like, let me stop thinking. 1248 01:00:56,160 --> 01:01:00,440 Speaker 3: Shut if you listen, if you didn't want to and 1249 01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:05,600 Speaker 3: they do you wrong, I don't want to hear about it. Yeah, 1250 01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,280 Speaker 3: they're great business man. I stay at everybody's business, so's 1251 01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:14,280 Speaker 3: I understand. 1252 01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,880 Speaker 1: Listen and that's listen. We are being giving. 1253 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,560 Speaker 2: Each other grades because I'm gonna need it too. 1254 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:22,360 Speaker 3: So see, look you're learning. 1255 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:29,000 Speaker 1: The progress already. Right, give myself some grace. 1256 01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,120 Speaker 2: But thank you Amber. This has been amazing. Seriously, you're amazing. 1257 01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,320 Speaker 3: You made very easy. 1258 01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,320 Speaker 2: No, you made it easy because, like we were talking 1259 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,160 Speaker 2: about sometimes like it feels like an interview. This feelt 1260 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,840 Speaker 2: like a conversation, you know, and I really appreciate that. 1261 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,400 Speaker 3: I don't get to just talk to people a lot. 1262 01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:47,400 Speaker 3: That's why I like, that's why I hit you up, 1263 01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:48,920 Speaker 3: like y'all want to come talk to you? Yeah, I 1264 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:50,720 Speaker 3: was like, well, come on, I don't want to see 1265 01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,840 Speaker 3: how you're doing, because, like I listen, you doing it 1266 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,560 Speaker 3: and I like women that are doing it, so checking in, 1267 01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:57,160 Speaker 3: but I just want to come and talk to you 1268 01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:58,720 Speaker 3: because a lot of the times I don't get to 1269 01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:04,000 Speaker 3: just have real commerce about anything besides my work. And 1270 01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:05,640 Speaker 3: I've told you a bunch of the things that I 1271 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,240 Speaker 3: shouldn't have told you and things that I haven't said 1272 01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:11,080 Speaker 3: out loud before. And I'm very comfortable and yeah, this 1273 01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,040 Speaker 3: is a part of my mission of detaching myself from everything. 1274 01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:15,840 Speaker 3: Being about work is like being able to come and 1275 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:18,560 Speaker 3: have this conversation with you. Is that you've only added 1276 01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,439 Speaker 3: on to my journey and let me know I'm going 1277 01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:21,240 Speaker 3: the right way you are. 1278 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:23,320 Speaker 1: I am so damn proud of you. 1279 01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,160 Speaker 2: I seriously you've inspired me today and I know you've 1280 01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:27,240 Speaker 2: inspired Donor as well. 1281 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:31,920 Speaker 3: Listen, I want those five non negotiables. Text it to me. 1282 01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a report. 1283 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:37,880 Speaker 3: Okay, hold yourselves accountable, you know, make your I have three, 1284 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,439 Speaker 3: it's five, max can max it out if you want, 1285 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:44,040 Speaker 3: and just build y'all's process. I want to see y'all 1286 01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,880 Speaker 3: be happy to you will be more successful when you 1287 01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,600 Speaker 3: have a man the myth that they told you that 1288 01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:51,880 Speaker 3: you don't need one, and you stay focused, you will 1289 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:56,160 Speaker 3: be more successful when you were more fulfilled. And I'm 1290 01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,640 Speaker 3: excited for you guys, you come to office. 1291 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,160 Speaker 2: Were coming to that if honey, we're gonna pull up 1292 01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:05,760 Speaker 2: on you today. My sole's going to wrap this up 1293 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:06,640 Speaker 2: so we can get on that. 1294 01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,840 Speaker 1: So we can get over there now. 1295 01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:15,880 Speaker 2: All right, So now we are going to do one 1296 01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,320 Speaker 2: of my favorite parts of the show. It's called positive Outcomes, 1297 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,840 Speaker 2: where the listeners write in and we give them advice. 1298 01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:22,560 Speaker 3: Okay, so all right. 1299 01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:23,680 Speaker 1: Let's see what this one says. 1300 01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:26,360 Speaker 2: All right, it says, Hey, Crystal, I found your podcast 1301 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:28,880 Speaker 2: like a week ago, and I've been binge watching all 1302 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,919 Speaker 2: of your videos. You are really positive light and seem 1303 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,040 Speaker 2: genuine in your faith with God. I am twenty two 1304 01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,400 Speaker 2: years old and I'm about to graduate college in May 1305 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:39,600 Speaker 2: to be a civil engineer. I started taking my walk 1306 01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:43,880 Speaker 2: with God more seriously in my in early twenty twenty three, 1307 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,160 Speaker 2: and I can definitely see the difference He's made in 1308 01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:46,640 Speaker 2: my life. 1309 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,920 Speaker 1: But life do be life, and sometimes yes it does. 1310 01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:53,520 Speaker 2: And I realized it's not an easy thing saying consistent 1311 01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,160 Speaker 2: with my faith. Do you have any advice for younger 1312 01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:58,960 Speaker 2: people like me who are just starting their walk with 1313 01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:02,200 Speaker 2: Christ on how to say consistent and balance that lifestyle? 1314 01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,000 Speaker 2: There are so many young black women stepping out into 1315 01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,640 Speaker 2: the real world who don't know how to navigate being 1316 01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,360 Speaker 2: a woman of faith in a country that never wanted 1317 01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:13,080 Speaker 2: us to thrive. Thank you so much for just being 1318 01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:14,920 Speaker 2: a role model for those of us who don't have 1319 01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:16,840 Speaker 2: any positive role models in our families. 1320 01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:22,439 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much for writing in what I know. 1321 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:23,880 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 1322 01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,000 Speaker 2: Wow, And you're why about to graduate to be a 1323 01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:32,080 Speaker 2: civil engineer. Congratulations. I would tell you one thing for 1324 01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:38,640 Speaker 2: sure is for me, I know, with trying to balance 1325 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,560 Speaker 2: my walk with God, and I talk about this all 1326 01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:44,000 Speaker 2: the time in my career and trying. 1327 01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:46,600 Speaker 1: To make sure that the lifestyle is aligned can sometimes 1328 01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:49,680 Speaker 1: be a battle, you know. But I would tell you 1329 01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,040 Speaker 1: just to continue to focus on God. Listen to cause 1330 01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:53,800 Speaker 1: God talks to you. 1331 01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,760 Speaker 2: There's a thing called discernment that you will feel in 1332 01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:59,000 Speaker 2: your spirit, and that's the Holy Spirit talking to you. 1333 01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,840 Speaker 2: I would say, just listen to that and follow that. 1334 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,320 Speaker 2: And if you feel like you're doing something wrong, something 1335 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,080 Speaker 2: that I learned yesterday, if you have to question it, 1336 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 2: that's the answer. 1337 01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:08,640 Speaker 1: So that's what I would tell you. 1338 01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:13,360 Speaker 3: I think that when I hear the way she wrote it, 1339 01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:17,240 Speaker 3: that question, I think it's the wrong question, right. I don't. 1340 01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:20,840 Speaker 3: I don't think that she has an inconsistent relationship with 1341 01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:24,280 Speaker 3: her faith, like it's always here. Yeah, it's always If 1342 01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:26,320 Speaker 3: you're a faithful person, it's very consistent. You can have 1343 01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,720 Speaker 3: a conversation with God anywhere, at anytime. You don't have 1344 01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:32,560 Speaker 3: to be on your knees at all. She's trying to 1345 01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:35,240 Speaker 3: build a habit. She's trying to build a practice. 1346 01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:36,720 Speaker 1: That's good. 1347 01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:39,520 Speaker 3: You know, you're you're you're asking about the wrong thing. 1348 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:43,960 Speaker 3: Your your consistency is not the question. Actually, you desire 1349 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,240 Speaker 3: to be more disciplined. And so this is what I 1350 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:47,760 Speaker 3: mean when I say, Okay, I have to build myself 1351 01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:49,760 Speaker 3: a process to get to something, because I need to 1352 01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:51,800 Speaker 3: know the actionable steps of what I have to do 1353 01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,400 Speaker 3: to get what I want. And she just sounds like 1354 01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:58,360 Speaker 3: she needs to build a habit so that she feels connected. 1355 01:05:58,400 --> 01:05:58,840 Speaker 1: Connected. 1356 01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:02,000 Speaker 3: That could be yoga, that could be meditating in the morning, 1357 01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:05,200 Speaker 3: so that you consistently are doing something. Yeah, but don't 1358 01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,800 Speaker 3: you don't have to question your faith because you didn't 1359 01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,560 Speaker 3: do something to me. Yeah, that's your question and your 1360 01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:13,000 Speaker 3: ability to build a habit. 1361 01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:18,040 Speaker 1: Question. That's so good. That's so good. 1362 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,480 Speaker 2: All right, So next we're gonna do what I'm going 1363 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:25,480 Speaker 2: through and what I'm growing through. Okay, in this season 1364 01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:30,360 Speaker 2: in your life, for me, I am wow. 1365 01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:35,360 Speaker 1: I am going through one. 1366 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:38,600 Speaker 2: We just talked about me being single, you know, and 1367 01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:41,360 Speaker 2: wanting love, and I'm gonna come by your office later 1368 01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:44,880 Speaker 2: because I'm being more intentional that after this conversation, I'm 1369 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,680 Speaker 2: gonna make my list and I'm gonna head on over. 1370 01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:52,600 Speaker 2: But for me, I'm going through just not putting so 1371 01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,960 Speaker 2: much emphasis on wanting a man. 1372 01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,160 Speaker 1: I'm fasting right now. 1373 01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:59,480 Speaker 2: And we were talking about somebody had a little chustional 1374 01:06:59,560 --> 01:06:59,960 Speaker 2: last night. 1375 01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:02,200 Speaker 1: You know. After I thought of it, I was like, 1376 01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:05,120 Speaker 1: maybe I should wait. We're doing what it's called seek season. 1377 01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:09,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're seeking God to like reveal some things 1378 01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:12,280 Speaker 2: in this season and. 1379 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:15,040 Speaker 1: And I'm still seeking a man, but what I'm. 1380 01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:29,040 Speaker 2: I'm seeking a lot son. He's gonna keep it real, Okay, 1381 01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:33,880 Speaker 2: speak blowing while I'm seeking, you reveal him? 1382 01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:34,920 Speaker 1: Okay, can you do that? 1383 01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:38,080 Speaker 2: But and that just keeping the fade to know that 1384 01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:42,240 Speaker 2: I'm not supposed to be alone, you know, and staying 1385 01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,200 Speaker 2: not letting that anxiety creep in. I used to like 1386 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,880 Speaker 2: be like, okay, my clock is ticking. Lord, I'm getting older, 1387 01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,200 Speaker 2: like I need like why hasn't this area of my 1388 01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:51,240 Speaker 2: life been fulfilled? 1389 01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:53,200 Speaker 1: And I'm just finding peace. 1390 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,040 Speaker 2: And where I am right now, that's really where what 1391 01:07:55,040 --> 01:07:57,480 Speaker 2: I'm going through, what I'm growing through, I want that, 1392 01:07:57,720 --> 01:07:58,320 Speaker 2: I really do. 1393 01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:07,560 Speaker 3: I don't know going through. I think I'm just going 1394 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:15,040 Speaker 3: through like another process, like I said, of like change, 1395 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:17,840 Speaker 3: and I'm fine with it. Like I've been through a 1396 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:20,920 Speaker 3: lot of processes and it's exciting because there's like always 1397 01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:24,720 Speaker 3: something incredible on the other side. But I'm not on 1398 01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:27,479 Speaker 3: the other side yet. I'm still actively working on this 1399 01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:33,240 Speaker 3: process of my purpose and making sure that I'm admitting 1400 01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:36,439 Speaker 3: that out into the world. But yeah, I'm going through 1401 01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:39,240 Speaker 3: how to commit to that, how to stay focused on 1402 01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,600 Speaker 3: and how to make the time for it. And what 1403 01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:47,679 Speaker 3: I'm going through is like directly connected to that, because 1404 01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:53,080 Speaker 3: I find that everybody can't always understand what that is 1405 01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:58,280 Speaker 3: or what's changed about me, you know, because I'm focusing 1406 01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:00,880 Speaker 3: in this way, or I can't hang out because I'm 1407 01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:06,760 Speaker 3: doing this and I'm kind of growing through. You know, 1408 01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:12,920 Speaker 3: everybody can't come. Everybody it's not supposed to come. People 1409 01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:16,439 Speaker 3: are great, you can find people again later. Some people 1410 01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:20,840 Speaker 3: shouldn't have been around at all and just kind of 1411 01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:27,160 Speaker 3: just growing through being okay with what I got. Yeah, 1412 01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:37,559 Speaker 3: Oprah only got one friend, okay, and that man and okay, okay, 1413 01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,559 Speaker 3: but she she's got one friend. And for me, I'm 1414 01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,599 Speaker 3: just like again, I'm an Aquarius. So like, if you're 1415 01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:46,160 Speaker 3: my person, you're my person. I can spend every day, 1416 01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:48,200 Speaker 3: every hour with you. And if you have the same 1417 01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:51,040 Speaker 3: vision as me and you see me because sometimes my 1418 01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:57,000 Speaker 3: I think my vision can be so big and unrealistic 1419 01:09:57,040 --> 01:10:00,000 Speaker 3: to somebody else that they can't see it, they don't understand. 1420 01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:02,639 Speaker 3: And so then somebody's looking at you like you crazy 1421 01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:03,600 Speaker 3: how you're going through this? 1422 01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:03,920 Speaker 2: Right? 1423 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,679 Speaker 3: You imagine you imagine you telling somebody while you're styling 1424 01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:11,160 Speaker 3: Tyler that I'm will have my own show, and you 1425 01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:15,200 Speaker 3: see that for yourself. Even your closest friend might look 1426 01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:18,280 Speaker 3: at you and be like, okay, you can't. Well, like, 1427 01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,479 Speaker 3: don't lose this job with those bit you know whatever 1428 01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,720 Speaker 3: they whatever that fear is if they put on you. 1429 01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,519 Speaker 3: And I'm going through the process of learning how to 1430 01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:32,160 Speaker 3: like not let what anybody else can't achieve have anything 1431 01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:33,280 Speaker 3: to do with what I'm gonna do. 1432 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:37,880 Speaker 1: Right, because people love that they do they should do so. 1433 01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:40,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a big vision. I don't need anybody 1434 01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:42,479 Speaker 3: to help me see it. I have eyes. 1435 01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,840 Speaker 1: I love it. That's so good. 1436 01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:49,160 Speaker 2: And to close it out, we do what we call 1437 01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:52,960 Speaker 2: fill in the blank. Keep it blank, sweetie. And I'm 1438 01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:56,320 Speaker 2: gonna say for this one, keep it purpose driven, sweetie. 1439 01:10:57,640 --> 01:10:58,599 Speaker 1: It's all that I really. 1440 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:01,280 Speaker 2: I loved how you touched on purpose and finding purpose, 1441 01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:02,880 Speaker 2: so that's the one I'll say today. 1442 01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:05,440 Speaker 3: I'm gonna say, keep it intentional, sweetie. 1443 01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:09,240 Speaker 1: There you go, there we have it. Amber, like you 1444 01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:10,759 Speaker 1: are a delight. 1445 01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:14,439 Speaker 2: Seriously, just to see how you've blossomed and grown up 1446 01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,799 Speaker 2: since I first met you. It's just beautiful to see. 1447 01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,639 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for stopping by. 1448 01:11:18,760 --> 01:11:21,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, yes, Nazan, thank you of course. Guys. I 1449 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:24,280 Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed this episode. I know I did. 1450 01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:27,120 Speaker 2: If you want to write into our Positive Outcomes Open 1451 01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:29,760 Speaker 2: Listener letter, write in to keep it positive Sweety at 1452 01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:31,960 Speaker 2: gmail dot com and that it's sweety with an Ie. 1453 01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:34,639 Speaker 2: You can follow me on all platforms that love Chris 1454 01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:36,200 Speaker 2: Rahna and that's l u v. 1455 01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:38,400 Speaker 1: Amber. Tell the people where they can find you. 1456 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,040 Speaker 3: You can find me at Ambergrimes A M B E 1457 01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:41,680 Speaker 3: R G R. 1458 01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:42,720 Speaker 1: I m. E. S. 1459 01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:44,280 Speaker 3: And at Amber's book Club. 1460 01:11:44,479 --> 01:11:46,519 Speaker 2: That's right, Ambers Club. Make sure you tap in. I'm 1461 01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:48,880 Speaker 2: gonna tap in, please, I am. I got all these 1462 01:11:48,880 --> 01:11:53,400 Speaker 2: books back here that Emma had posted, and I was like, 1463 01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:54,840 Speaker 2: I'm gonna read all these books. 1464 01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:56,719 Speaker 1: I haven't. I started reading one. 1465 01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:58,920 Speaker 3: The first step is just getting them in the house 1466 01:11:58,920 --> 01:12:00,880 Speaker 3: and you can see, oh they are here, yes God, 1467 01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:02,120 Speaker 3: they will. 1468 01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:07,479 Speaker 1: Yes, oh my god. In the meantime, in between times, 1469 01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:08,160 Speaker 1: you know what to do. 1470 01:12:08,280 --> 01:12:25,360 Speaker 2: Keep it positive, sweet it let you guys By