WEBVTT - Phone Tap: Little Spreadsheet Skank

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<v Speaker 1>It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brook and

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<v Speaker 1>Jeffrey in the morning, and they always say, don't drink

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<v Speaker 1>from the company inc oh or no, wait, no, don't

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<v Speaker 1>stick your pencil in the office sharpener. No, what's the cartridge?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah don't yes, hose, got it. Don't dip your pen

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<v Speaker 1>in the in the company's stuff. Anyway, one guy decided

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<v Speaker 1>he was going to do that, and recently he started

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<v Speaker 1>dating one of his co workers. So what did she do?

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<v Speaker 1>She used that information to set him up. Yes, your

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<v Speaker 1>brand new phone tap, it's happening right now. I'm working

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<v Speaker 1>Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties. Hello, Hi Steve. My

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<v Speaker 1>name is Chad Kroger from Corporate Human Resources. How are

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<v Speaker 1>you today?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? Good? Hi? Hi.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So I just spoke with Terry not too long ago,

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<v Speaker 1>the local HR rep, and she told me that you

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<v Speaker 1>recently disclosed an in office relationship with another employee. Yeah, Libby, yes, correct, Yes, nice,

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<v Speaker 1>looks like somebody got there before I could. What I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just joking with you. I just want to have a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit of humor before I get to the real

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<v Speaker 1>reason for my call, which is that as a couple.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you and Libby will fall under a different set

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<v Speaker 1>of office guidelines. Okay, yeah, so I just needed to

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<v Speaker 1>go over that with you real quick. So do you

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<v Speaker 1>have a pen handy?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Go ahead?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah all right. So, first of all, we do need

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<v Speaker 1>to address PDA in the office. Sure, obviously, we don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to make other people uncomfortable. So side hugs are permitted,

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<v Speaker 1>but only at a forty five degree angle for under

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<v Speaker 1>one and a half seconds.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you serious?

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<v Speaker 1>Those are the rules? Anything more than that, it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to come across as kind of lude, okay, or like

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<v Speaker 1>show Offye. So look at us so in love in

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<v Speaker 1>front of all the other employees. You know, Oh that's

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<v Speaker 1>the reaction you're going to get, just absolute puke.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, we don't do much that at work anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't imagine that would be a much of an

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<v Speaker 2>issue anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, but you know, just for some people, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean me personally, i'd be cheering you on. Go behind

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<v Speaker 1>the copy here?

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<v Speaker 2>Could you tell me what your name was? Again?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry Chad Kroger. Chad yet Because we work at

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<v Speaker 1>a financial institution, I do get a lot of jokes

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<v Speaker 1>about how Chad Kroger you got a nickelback and dang, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's probably where you thought we were going with this.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually wasn't.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, let's go back to the relationship guidelines. So

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<v Speaker 1>any shared lunch breaks that you and Libby have together

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<v Speaker 1>that lasts longer than twenty two minutes, it will be

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<v Speaker 1>perceived as you two getting after it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh hold on, are you kidding me? I mean that

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<v Speaker 2>seems extreme because it's not even the thing that we

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<v Speaker 2>would necessarily be doing. It's just you're saying that people

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<v Speaker 2>would just be thinking that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'd be thinking it. I'm picturing it right

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<v Speaker 1>now actually, but it is against company rules. So try

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<v Speaker 1>to keep those lunches under twenty two You should be.

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<v Speaker 2>Good, Okay, Yeah, I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>Just I'm hearing from your tone. Do you have a

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<v Speaker 1>problem with this. There's a lot of pushback.

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<v Speaker 2>It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. I know that I'm

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<v Speaker 2>part of the organization and I should you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, thank you, And look, I know we've discussed a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of restrictions, but there are some benefits, like, for example,

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<v Speaker 1>if you fill out a form, the company does provide

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<v Speaker 1>free ed pills.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, is there anything else? This seems like

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<v Speaker 2>a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, you already have a supplier for that.

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<v Speaker 2>I see, all right.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, it's sorry to take up your time, but trying

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<v Speaker 1>to help you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I'm sorry. I didn't mean.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I know what you meant. I get it.

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<v Speaker 1>Just my last thing. And this comes directly from your supervisor.

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<v Speaker 1>Pet names are totally okay if she wants to call

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<v Speaker 1>you daddy or stallion, excuse me, something tame, but you're

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<v Speaker 1>not allowed to cross the line and call her something

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<v Speaker 1>like my little spreadsheets. Oh my god, keep on one

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<v Speaker 1>for behind closed doors.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's crossing a line. I mean, this

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<v Speaker 2>is still inappropriate. You're using language that I would never

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<v Speaker 2>even consider using.

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<v Speaker 1>Guys, sure, maybe you wouldn't use it, but Libby would.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think she would. She would.

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<v Speaker 1>She asked me to use that specific phrase in this

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<v Speaker 1>phone call that we're doing on you right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you just catching on now that this is a

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<v Speaker 1>prank and you're on the radio with Brook and Jeffrey

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<v Speaker 1>in the morning. What your girlfriend, Livy set you up

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<v Speaker 1>for this? She said that you're really nervous about disclosing

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship to HR, Like I am curious which office

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<v Speaker 1>relationship Guideline was your favorite.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know. I was parsing out

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<v Speaker 2>how I would hug for a second or whatever it was.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well you'd have to time it if you're dating

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<v Speaker 1>the little spreadsheets.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, someone appropriated.

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<v Speaker 1>You can steal the nickname though, if you want to.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh no, it's all yours. Chat and Jeffrey's

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<v Speaker 1>Phone taps on the twenties