Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and they terminol and
Speaker 1: gay a.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off in starve. We wanna
Speaker 2: welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need to ride.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris? Hmmm, welcome to Do you need
Speaker 2: a ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaro.
Speaker 2: Hello, my friend. How was your weekend?
Speaker 1: Hello? Let's see it was good. I did a couple
Speaker 1: of things. I went into the sun, I did some swimming.
Speaker 2: Get a little vitamin. Is it E or D?
Speaker 1: I think it's D.
Speaker 2: We're all deficient with a capital vitamin D of some
Speaker 2: of some vitamin. Maybe you're you're outsurfing, You're not if
Speaker 2: you're not thinking about that one.
Speaker 1: It's probably B or magnesium. You gotta chase these vitamins
Speaker 1: and take them all at once and then just pee
Speaker 1: them all out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly what you need from them will not be
Speaker 2: in the p don't you worry.
Speaker 1: Here's where Chris and Karen starts selling you supplements on
Speaker 1: this book.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it's just the concept of supplements. We aren't
Speaker 2: peddling anything specific. But no, this is and you've heard
Speaker 2: of your whole life. Much like you're going out. It's
Speaker 2: cold where you're mittens. You don't want to catch a cold.
Speaker 2: Take your vitamins.
Speaker 1: Yes, we are selling empty capsules that basically represent you
Speaker 1: trying to take vitamins. Yes, and if you take them,
Speaker 1: if we're only eighty nine ninety nine a month, you
Speaker 1: can take them.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that took it. I didn't expect you to
Speaker 2: say that. I guess we are trying to make money.
Speaker 1: Get our capsules, capsules filled with joy?
Speaker 2: Yes, are you and a lot of people. They're adults,
Speaker 2: most of them, that's true. We don't have a lot
Speaker 2: of kids listening to this. Yes, and they don't have
Speaker 2: their moms reminding them daily of things. So that's why
Speaker 2: we're here.
Speaker 1: That's right. Did you take Flintstones vitamins when you were
Speaker 1: a little.
Speaker 2: I think that mine were like a knockoff brand. They're
Speaker 2: just kind of shaped like fruits and different things. Okay,
Speaker 2: they didn't have the licensed Hanna Barbara characters.
Speaker 1: You didn't get to have neolithic and or cro Magnan
Speaker 1: men shaped vitamins.
Speaker 2: That's sad, no, because it's it's so funny, because who
Speaker 2: thought of what you should be putting in your body
Speaker 2: less than fred a man who ate carcized ribs and bold.
Speaker 2: They had terrible diets uh and pterodactyls for garbage disposals.
Speaker 1: I mean those people, they were living on the edge
Speaker 1: health wise in every way.
Speaker 2: Much like the any particular shade agree you're waiting for
Speaker 2: honey stoplight joke in Flintstones. There were a lot of
Speaker 2: jokes for grown ups in there. Yes, And when I
Speaker 2: was a kid, I knew when I was getting something
Speaker 2: that was maybe above my and I paid to be
Speaker 2: a child and you did great. Yeah, I made a killing.
Speaker 2: And one of those things was when they broke the
Speaker 2: third wall or is it fourth wall? They broke down
Speaker 2: a wall and had, yeah, had one of the animals
Speaker 2: look in the camera to announce, I hate my job.
Speaker 1: It's a living That's what that. The garbage disposal bird
Speaker 1: always was like, Jesus, what am I doing? It's a
Speaker 1: living heavy.
Speaker 2: Which is yeah, I love it so weird to believe
Speaker 2: as children that back in the Stone Age they would
Speaker 2: pay give a paycheck to all these animals that served
Speaker 2: as appliance.
Speaker 1: I mean it was I never understood. I didn't understand
Speaker 1: that one. And there was a Tom and Jerry. There
Speaker 1: wasn't like a promo for Tom and Jerry that was like,
Speaker 1: what is the one thing you shouldn't have to advertise?
Speaker 1: Or is cartoons after school? Like we just I felt
Speaker 1: like we felt required to watch cartoons after school. It
Speaker 1: was like what you did, yeah in that time, But
Speaker 1: there was a Tom and Jerry promo and they were
Speaker 1: like it was like the narrator or the commentator or
Speaker 1: whatever was was basically like talking you through of like
Speaker 1: why you should watch Tom and Jerry after school and
Speaker 1: then the last thing was like Tom hitting Jerry over
Speaker 1: the head with a mallet. Yeah, And then narrator was like,
Speaker 1: ooh that's smart. And it obsessed me for months where
Speaker 1: I was like what does that mean? Like I've never
Speaker 1: heard that, and it's like, oh, you're using like old guys,
Speaker 1: old guy slang from the forties and fifties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because old guys were making that. Yeah, you're like
Speaker 2: when I looked at my dad's yearbook and all of
Speaker 2: his friends. The going phrase was you're a good you're
Speaker 2: a good head. A good head, yeah, not a good egg,
Speaker 2: you're a good head. Which when I was a kid,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, my dad in high school was blowing everyone.
Speaker 2: I know, that's what I thought. It's what I still believe. No, no,
Speaker 2: that's just his detailed campfire stories. I'm just kidding. No,
Speaker 2: my dad, my dad's a real missionary man. Let's change
Speaker 2: the subject. Yeah, there are phrases that are out and
Speaker 2: you can even watch a movie from the early two thousands.
Speaker 1: I think my dad told me because you know, when
Speaker 1: I was became a teenager, that's when the Valley girl
Speaker 1: movement began and has never really ended in California. And
Speaker 1: so everybody overnight was talking like Munzappa in that song
Speaker 1: and everyone was using that slang. Yeah, and my dad
Speaker 1: would he didn't love it, and he was always kind
Speaker 1: of teasing us for it. But then I was like, well,
Speaker 1: what was the slang? What did you call like a
Speaker 1: nerd or a dork when you were in high school?
Speaker 1: And he was like he had to think about it
Speaker 1: for a second. He goes, oh, we call those guys
Speaker 1: a Tim looks a Tim? A what a Tim like
Speaker 1: a guy's name?
Speaker 2: Oh you're a real Tim, You're a Tim? Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's I'm hilarious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder what the origin of that is.
Speaker 1: Probably a natural guy that there were being really mean to.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, it was very a regional phrase that
Speaker 2: Tim was a famous uh nerd a.
Speaker 1: Famous dork in San Francisco.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great.
Speaker 1: It's nineties. I don't know, eight degrees here in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles today.
Speaker 2: Everybody, Yes, it is, and it feels hotter and we
Speaker 2: don't know why. And I'm tired of every day I
Speaker 2: walk outside and I'm suddenly swimming in what seems like
Speaker 2: a sea if my own body temperature, you know that
Speaker 2: feeling where you go outside and it's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: well that's overeat yes immediately, Yeah, it's uh And it's
Speaker 2: silly to talk about because I'm I'm we'd you're all.
Speaker 1: Hot right now, we all are in every different kind
Speaker 1: of way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so so it Yes, it's our hot summer. It's
Speaker 2: not the kind we expected. We're simply hot. Potzy that's
Speaker 2: the name that my in my dad's region. That guy's
Speaker 2: a Potzi Potsy.
Speaker 1: Yes, because that was in Happy Days, right, huh.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if it was. I think it
Speaker 2: was pre I think the old guys that were maybe
Speaker 2: my dad's age that wrote on happy Days because I
Speaker 2: was late at sixties, early.
Speaker 1: Seventies, right, Happy Days was the seventies.
Speaker 2: So that they were using their yeah phrase and they're like, ha,
Speaker 2: let's call him a pazzi. His name's Potzy.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. So that it took me that long too.
Speaker 2: It took a subject change, and you know me, I'll
Speaker 2: go back to the I like subject sandwiches.
Speaker 1: Yes, those are the most delicious for pots Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with weather meat.
Speaker 1: As we're talking about being hot and all these things,
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to need an iced beverage of
Speaker 1: some kind.
Speaker 2: I'm all for it. Okay, great, I do. I have
Speaker 2: a comedy concert tonight at seven, but I think that
Speaker 2: we're going to be okay. I think I did want
Speaker 2: to try and do something a little different tonight, and
Speaker 2: I want to run it.
Speaker 1: By you, Okay.
Speaker 2: I in almost defiance of everyone doing crowd work, I
Speaker 2: do see that it works, and I want to do
Speaker 2: a planned thing where there's some plants in the audience,
Speaker 2: and I thought maybe a good thing would be I
Speaker 2: bring a bucket, fill it halfway with water, and I
Speaker 2: have the cord just kind of dipping into it in
Speaker 2: a safe way. Yeah, okay, or there doesn't you know,
Speaker 2: it doesn't even have to be water in the bucket,
Speaker 2: just a.
Speaker 1: If you're going to do some clowning, right, well.
Speaker 2: Maybe we could go in that direction. What I had
Speaker 2: planned was just not addressing it, of course, for the
Speaker 2: first twenty minutes or so. Then once I touch the
Speaker 2: mic or something, I feign being electrocuted. The lights I'll
Speaker 2: talk to the house lights operator will flicker go out
Speaker 2: for a second. That's when the three x five card
Speaker 2: I've handed to a woman in the front row in private,
Speaker 2: she will read from it and yell, oh my god,
Speaker 2: my purse is gone. Then the lights will come back,
Speaker 2: come back up, and there's a side door next to
Speaker 2: the stage. I will have someone just shut that from backstage.
Speaker 2: So then I'll run back there and kick and tussle
Speaker 2: like Heathcliff behind the curtain, making punch sounds a little
Speaker 2: gaffer fully work of a fight, and then come out
Speaker 2: with the purse and hand it to the woman. Then
Speaker 2: the only thing I'll prep the crowd with is at
Speaker 2: the end of this cheer and stand up and lift
Speaker 2: me up in the air, so it'll be a clip
Speaker 2: of a guy of a guy thwarting a theft. And
Speaker 2: now I'll just take that little clip and it'll be
Speaker 2: dollar signs online.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Well, okay, a couple questions. Yes,
Speaker 1: First of all, overall loving this. I think taking crowd
Speaker 1: work to the next level where it's actually just a
Speaker 1: crowd play.
Speaker 2: Yes, great idea, I like when other people do it.
Speaker 1: Yes. And I also I'm concerned about the cheering at
Speaker 1: the end. I think that's you're just trying to put
Speaker 1: that in there to make yourself feel better. Know what.
Speaker 2: I added that in the moment because I thought it
Speaker 2: was going nowhere.
Speaker 1: No, it's absolutely gone somewhere. Here's the thing, How are
Speaker 1: you going to get that water on the stage without
Speaker 1: drawing so much attention to it that it becomes distracting
Speaker 1: just sitting there.
Speaker 2: You're very right, that was the thing I went. That's
Speaker 2: the only reason I brought it up is because I thought, well,
Speaker 2: if I get there early, I'll I'll just have the
Speaker 2: bucket off to the side, dip the mic cord in it,
Speaker 2: and the previous comics will go their whole sets without
Speaker 2: even noticing the bucket, or I'll tell them, don't say
Speaker 2: anything about the bucket, all right.
Speaker 1: Or you could have the comic that goes on before
Speaker 1: you bring the bucket out and leave it there.
Speaker 2: Or I don't even need the bucket. I just get
Speaker 2: electrocuted by the microphone.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right, that's the answer. But the electrocution part
Speaker 1: then enables the lights to go out, so then the
Speaker 1: lady can say, my purse has been stole.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's the only reason the lights are going out.
Speaker 1: And so if you've been electrocuted to the point, so
Speaker 1: you have to do it in a way where people
Speaker 1: can see that you've stopped being electrocuted before the lights.
Speaker 2: Go out, right, the lights will go out all way
Speaker 2: down on the ground, and when the lights come back up,
Speaker 2: I'll kind of shake my head disoriented, and I'm back
Speaker 2: in action because I found out, in spite of almost dying,
Speaker 2: someone had their perse stolen, and I got to act fast, ma'am. There,
Speaker 2: then you hear the door close and I jump into action. Okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I've been burnt to a crisp internally.
Speaker 1: Do you have many charcoal that you can stick on
Speaker 1: your face real quick, so when you wake up, you
Speaker 1: are seen as being electrocuted.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. Which I still have my hair, because
Speaker 2: if I just wiped charcoal on my face and put
Speaker 2: my hair in the air, but out of context, that
Speaker 2: would seem like I don't want to do that now, Okay,
Speaker 2: I want maybe if I put I just made my
Speaker 2: glasses crooked. How about that?
Speaker 1: Sure? Okay, glasses crooked and maybe charcoal on the hand
Speaker 1: that was holding the mic.
Speaker 2: I know what I'll do. Yes, I'm going to make
Speaker 2: my glass, my glasses crooked and in the dark, take
Speaker 2: a huge puff of my vape and then when they
Speaker 2: come back up, smarcle fly out of my mouth. Yes,
Speaker 2: I'm so glad we had this workshop.
Speaker 1: Me too. Now moving on to the second part. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. But so you're going to go back
Speaker 1: and fight the fight a fake burglar, right, and then
Speaker 1: come back with the purse. Right, Let's find out what
Speaker 1: this final moment is, right, because I just think you
Speaker 1: need a button, right, ma'am, here's your purse.
Speaker 2: Yes it's not enough.
Speaker 1: Well, I just think there's like a there's a final
Speaker 1: funny joke and maybe it could be something that happened.
Speaker 1: That's it's a callback and you have to figure out
Speaker 1: what it is. Like ma'am, here's your purse, yeah, and
Speaker 1: like and good luck at your job at the post
Speaker 1: office or whatever.
Speaker 2: Right, that's not it, No, but I know yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're you're saying something in that first part of that.
Speaker 2: Your show will dictate it and I will simply reference
Speaker 2: that and not worry about it.
Speaker 1: Right now, is there something from your act that you
Speaker 1: can that's an object you can put in that purse
Speaker 1: so that you give the purse, She opens the purse,
Speaker 1: pulls out the thing from your act that you talked
Speaker 1: about verbally, but no one actually fight.
Speaker 2: Okay, what would that be?
Speaker 1: Start going through your jokes. Yes, items in your jokes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, first, yeah, for something. There's something in the purse.
Speaker 1: So I'm getting a spam call if I take this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's a call straight from Hawaii. I've
Speaker 2: been getting all these spam calls from Chiquita Banana.
Speaker 1: What yeh.
Speaker 2: The point is all spam calls come from Hawaii when
Speaker 2: I was in Maui. That's that. What I just said
Speaker 2: made no sense. But there was in Maui. It's it's
Speaker 2: chiquita this, chaqueta that, banana this, and then spam this
Speaker 2: and spam that.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're making a joke about how they like to
Speaker 1: eat spam in Hawaii.
Speaker 2: And when I said chiketa, I meant dole. Dole, Yep,
Speaker 2: there is Yes, they do not grow maana bananas in Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, you want to take that one from the top.
Speaker 2: And hmm. Whenever I get a spam call here, Karen,
Speaker 2: I find that there it's from the people at DOLE
Speaker 2: and I expected it to be ham and a can.
Speaker 1: I don't know the Dole part is helping us.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, all spam calls come from Maui, which is
Speaker 2: why they named the meat in a can company. That
Speaker 2: spam calls came before spam. The meat is what I'm
Speaker 2: telling you.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 2: I bet it is. Sometimes I'm just riffing and the
Speaker 2: truth comes out.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we riff our way into learning. Yes, and that's incredible.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I better take this call. Why would someone
Speaker 1: call me?
Speaker 2: Is it the same?
Speaker 3: This is.
Speaker 1: Uh? And I also don't know this number calls me
Speaker 1: or a version of this number have been calling me
Speaker 1: for months and it's spam, right, But now it's like,
Speaker 1: so it shows up where I can't say no, Now
Speaker 1: I have to block this number, right, Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's so funny that we all just
Speaker 2: have gotten used to that because it used to be
Speaker 2: the premise of a horror movie. Right, someone calls a
Speaker 2: new answer that's like the page one of so many
Speaker 2: horror scripts, and it just wouldn't happen.
Speaker 1: Now, No, they've taken it away from us.
Speaker 2: We all have a computer in our pants that we
Speaker 2: all Everyone still calls it a phone, but no one
Speaker 2: uses it as if I haven't used mine as a
Speaker 2: phone in three weeks.
Speaker 1: Can I just sorry, sidebar, you need to start a
Speaker 1: bit with we all have a computer in our pants.
Speaker 2: It is peppered. I have mentioned the computer in our pants,
Speaker 2: have you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a wonderful phrase.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, I think it is like.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to impart wisdom starting with we all
Speaker 1: have a computer in our pants. It's like we all
Speaker 1: have a dream in our hearts. Yes, yes, kind of feeling.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I haven't given it that tone of whimsy
Speaker 2: or a poetic tone. Yeah, we all have a computer.
Speaker 1: We all have a computer in our pants. Now, I
Speaker 1: really want to figure out what you need to put
Speaker 1: in this purse?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, should it be something of mine?
Speaker 1: What if it was a little puppet and then you
Speaker 1: asked that lighting person that's already going to do three
Speaker 1: lighting cues for you, yeah, to give the puppet a
Speaker 1: spotlight and then the puppet starts singing a song. It's
Speaker 1: like it turns to the spotlight and then it's like
Speaker 1: when I'm stuck with the day, and then everyone gets
Speaker 1: really a like emotional.
Speaker 2: I think it's a good yes, and I could so
Speaker 2: it'll be a purse that I bring. I rip a
Speaker 2: hole in it and stick my hand in there. This
Speaker 2: is all stuff I'll do in the fifteen minutes between
Speaker 2: our recording and arriving at the theater.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Maybe it's for the feat, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: But I do like that. It just I put my
Speaker 2: hand in the bottom and then it's a sock puppet.
Speaker 1: Yes. And also if you pick, if you plant the
Speaker 1: woman in Los Angeles, chances are you're going to plant
Speaker 1: someone that can sing, because everyone here can do right
Speaker 1: at least three things.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's what's funny. I saw someone had posted
Speaker 2: something where at the end, the audience is like acts
Speaker 2: like they're not excited for him doing ten more minutes
Speaker 2: or something, And the entire audience did such a good
Speaker 2: job at acting not over the top, like disappointed that
Speaker 2: he was going to continue that. I was blown away.
Speaker 2: I kept watching it. I was like, wait, did he
Speaker 2: hire an acting troop? How are they so good?
Speaker 1: Who's special was it? It?
Speaker 2: Actually it was a Canadian guys. I really don't remember
Speaker 2: any details or what dad was. No, I do remember, okay,
Speaker 2: but I did comment, oh my god, that people were
Speaker 2: so good. Yes, they couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: You know why, because Canadians get subtlety, They get it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they know. Yeah, let's go to Canada where you
Speaker 2: don't have to be over the top. God. Finally, there's
Speaker 2: a little park right next to that bridge that looks
Speaker 2: like a robotic witch's finger. It's just one ten roll
Speaker 2: to the sky. It's actually kind of a cool bridge.
Speaker 2: But behind it there's a perfect little park with like
Speaker 2: a you know, a baseball diamond and stuff in camping area.
Speaker 2: And Nick Rutherford, a friend who I haven't seen in
Speaker 2: quite a while, invited me to the Rutherford Regatta, which
Speaker 2: was a tiny boat race and he said supplies will
Speaker 2: be provided. First heat of the race is at four o'clock.
Speaker 2: So immediately, you know, I got excited because we're talking
Speaker 2: miniature boat making.
Speaker 1: Hell.
Speaker 2: Yes, I showed up late and everyone was hunkered down
Speaker 2: at a workstation. They had glue guns, o cordless glue guns,
Speaker 2: balsa wood, you know, if you wanted to cheat. There
Speaker 2: was a little plastic boat like for French fries or whatever,
Speaker 2: but it was shaped like a boat. I mean I
Speaker 2: knew right in the beginning, just a tongue depressed a
Speaker 2: popsicle stick with glitter on it was going to float
Speaker 2: the best and win, and that is what happened. But
Speaker 2: I made a pontoon raft with like rope and a mast,
Speaker 2: and I had no glue. I just had a pocket
Speaker 2: knife and was cutting holes and you can stick, you know,
Speaker 2: toothpicks into the styrofoam tubes. All this stuff, by the way,
Speaker 2: didn't end up in the in the La River when
Speaker 2: we raised Ruther for who else was there? Oh they
Speaker 2: were wearing dumb waiters and had butterfly nets and they
Speaker 2: were grabbing all the boats.
Speaker 1: Oh, but it was like there was.
Speaker 2: An announcer, There was legit trophies. What the launch of
Speaker 2: the boats was a large plank. They were all lined
Speaker 2: up so they all ended up in the water at
Speaker 2: the same time. And you know, my boat capsized after
Speaker 2: four feet. I don't know what because I had a
Speaker 2: big mast on it. I went fashion over function. But
Speaker 2: it was so fun just because you're everyone was doing
Speaker 2: a turn to little kids. Again.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's kind of like a box car derby vibes.
Speaker 2: It seems, Yes, it was. It reminded me very much
Speaker 2: of a cub Scouts Pinewood.
Speaker 1: Derby Pinewood Derby where.
Speaker 2: You show up and you can tell which kids their
Speaker 2: engineer dad made their car cheaters. Yes, but people thought
Speaker 2: that about me. But I just was advanced with modeling
Speaker 2: and I put cows on it, and oh, that guy's
Speaker 2: going very fast. He wants us to die. He ate us.
Speaker 2: That was a hit man.
Speaker 1: So when people do that, then I slowed down because
Speaker 1: that's my problem, or like, fine, hit me, is that
Speaker 1: what you want?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Here, yeah, here you monster. So like the reason you
Speaker 1: say that the wooden spoon with sparkles got the furthest
Speaker 1: is because it was just simple and super light and
Speaker 1: it just light. It like floated on top of the water.
Speaker 2: Yes, like a gum wrapper. If you threw it in,
Speaker 2: of course it would float better than a heavy boat
Speaker 2: night of anything. Right, So you know, one kid had
Speaker 2: like just a piece of sushi. Whoever the kid was,
Speaker 2: he just put a piece of sushi in his to
Speaker 2: go and that one.
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Yeah and yeah, so yeah, So who was there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a bunch of friends that I haven't
Speaker 2: seen in a while. Brandon was there with his sweet
Speaker 2: kids who I've only seen online. And it's one of
Speaker 2: my many friends where he's like he had kids and
Speaker 2: you know, like Nate Craig has had a baby now
Speaker 2: and then you see them change as a person because
Speaker 2: they're a parent, and he's so Brendan was so patient
Speaker 2: with his kids. They were really sweet. And then his
Speaker 2: daughter came up to me and she's like, hey, I
Speaker 2: like you. I'm like I like you too, and I've
Speaker 2: made me feel so good. Oh yeah, because you know
Speaker 2: I'm you know, a bit of a loaner out there.
Speaker 1: Well, but that's by design, No, No, that's your choice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can change anytime you want, I suppose. But also
Speaker 1: when little kids like you, yes, I mean you're doing
Speaker 1: something right.
Speaker 2: Right, everyone will know, And every comic has a joke
Speaker 2: where the premise is children tell the truth. Yeah if
Speaker 2: they If a little kid comes up to you and says,
Speaker 2: why is your nose big? Why are your teeth yellow?
Speaker 2: It means you gotta do something about your You gotta
Speaker 2: brush your teeth.
Speaker 1: It means it's cross white strip's time.
Speaker 2: My niece has made me buy I've been home whitening
Speaker 2: my teeth ever since. They said something at age six
Speaker 2: that if I told them now they would be horrified,
Speaker 2: but it bettered me.
Speaker 1: Yeah better.
Speaker 2: It's like, you're right, they shouldn't be presented next to
Speaker 2: a white T shirt that I'm wearing.
Speaker 1: Oh cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so yeah it was. It was fun. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was just a bunch of a bunch of old
Speaker 2: pals there that I haven't seen, but I immediately was
Speaker 2: in a panic. I'm like, I got to work on
Speaker 2: this boat. I don't have time to talk to anyone.
Speaker 2: And once I finished it, then it was great And yeah,
Speaker 2: just one of those oh yeah, I gotta go do
Speaker 2: stuff reminders.
Speaker 1: Yes, go outside being well. Also, it makes me love
Speaker 1: Nick Ruth heard for thinking of that idea because it's
Speaker 1: such a generous thing for other people to get to do. Right.
Speaker 1: That's like think it's like it's very community oriented. It
Speaker 1: seems of like, hey, do we need it. We can't
Speaker 1: just stand and drink in the park, right, you know, like, hey,
Speaker 1: there's a reason we're here. There's something fun to focus.
Speaker 2: On, exactly.
Speaker 1: I think that's great. Does Nick brother right off kids?
Speaker 2: No? No, but his so many of his friends do.
Speaker 2: And there was just there was kids everywhere that were
Speaker 2: way into this, like it was a mutual let's make boats,
Speaker 2: adults and kids both equally excited about it. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: kind of a lighthearted competition in the air. But no
Speaker 2: one was taking it that seriously except you except me.
Speaker 2: Every time my boat tipped over, even with modifications for
Speaker 2: heat too, I put some long sticks with pontoons, but
Speaker 2: I use paper plate and it just made it made
Speaker 2: it sink quicker. Yeah. I didn't bring some applies, but
Speaker 2: there was a He hired a security guard to hang
Speaker 2: out there just in case weirdos showed up. Uh, And
Speaker 2: he bought all this equipment. Yeah, he really put effort in.
Speaker 2: There was tacos. Person was making tacos. Yeah. It was
Speaker 2: a perfect party. So Nick Rutherford it's great. Hats off
Speaker 2: to watch the show Dream Corps, Dream Corpse, Dream Corps
Speaker 2: with Nick Rutherford. And I believe John Grice, you know
Speaker 2: him as the man in the Closet and real genius
Speaker 2: really or Uncle Rico.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he guy's amazing.
Speaker 2: He used to live next to Tig and I or
Speaker 2: his brother did, and they were always together, and he
Speaker 2: was very nice and he uh yeah, his brother who
Speaker 2: actually lived in the house, had all the mannerisms of
Speaker 2: Uncle rehe co In in Napoleon Dynamite, like looking at
Speaker 2: his arms and sweeping them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That Kerry Grice did that every.
Speaker 1: Day, so he was just kind of doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I think he told me that and
Speaker 2: then I noticed. But they are nice people. Who's their
Speaker 2: dad used to make old like westerns, those Italian Westerns,
Speaker 2: and these kids would be they were little kids, and
Speaker 2: they were in the background, like running around like extras.
Speaker 2: He's like, that's me, that's well, look I get shot here.
Speaker 2: I was a little kid pretending to get shot. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: Like Hollywood baby, Oh totally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cool. And and if you all know what
Speaker 2: I'm talking about, you would know if you looked him
Speaker 2: up but yeah, he's in that show Dream Corps. And
Speaker 2: I don't know where you see it, but I do
Speaker 2: know it's on one of the streamers. I haven't seen
Speaker 2: it because it was like a on Adult Swim or
Speaker 2: something that I don't have in my package.
Speaker 1: You know, it's and it's animated or it's it's live action.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that chair kind of sci fi. You know.
Speaker 2: I have picked up chairs so that I thought I
Speaker 2: needed and then walked miles with them on my back.
Speaker 2: And that's not one of them. That's not.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like a it looks fancy.
Speaker 2: At one point that was a sod after piece.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now it's just I also wonder you know
Speaker 1: there's some people in some neighborhoods they just sit like
Speaker 1: that might be someone's chair, Yeah, like they come out
Speaker 1: and sit there.
Speaker 2: Although did you see etched in the brick behind it
Speaker 2: was the word free? Oh yeah, so that way.
Speaker 1: You know it's permanently free.
Speaker 2: And we are now, yeah, we're coming. We're on Hyperion.
Speaker 2: That's where you'll be hearing this in the futures, so
Speaker 2: the show will be over, but we're going to go
Speaker 2: buy this lyric place where I will return to.
Speaker 1: Later tonight, this is your show place, Yes, got you.
Speaker 2: It's a there's this whole trend these days that I
Speaker 2: haven't fully understood, the like the popularity of these don't
Speaker 2: tell shows right, or a time I went to Portland
Speaker 2: for a secret headliner show and they're like, who could
Speaker 2: it be? Last week? It was Daniel Tosh or whatever,
Speaker 2: And then they go tonight's secret headliner and you get
Speaker 2: to hear the audience audibly be disappointed because they don't
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not talking shit about myself, but you
Speaker 2: know they didn't know. It's people going for I like
Speaker 2: the entertainment form of stand up comedy.
Speaker 1: I'll go to this and I'm immediately thinking it's gonna
Speaker 1: be Dave Chappelle or whatever tick name they are fantasizing
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta let people think that I did the
Speaker 2: Comedy Store the other night. I've done stand up every
Speaker 2: night in the past week.
Speaker 1: Oh how you feel great?
Speaker 2: Good? It started rough, and now I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: right back where I was. Okay, so I'm and then
Speaker 2: along with that comes a self worth and happiness that
Speaker 2: I forgot. I wasn't enjoying enjoying things, but at the
Speaker 2: comedy store that that whole audience is kind of thinking
Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle's going to be here, And one of the
Speaker 2: comics said, Hey, this is it. I'm Dave something or what,
Speaker 2: I can't remember his last name. It's you all think
Speaker 2: Chappelle is coming, but he's not. And I could tell
Speaker 2: the whole audience we've got disappointed, and then it kind
Speaker 2: of ruined their night. So, yeah, there is this. You know,
Speaker 2: they are not going to be disappointed if he doesn't
Speaker 2: show up, but they will be disappointed if you announce.
Speaker 2: And then that it could be anyone.
Speaker 1: Well, I think that is like, it's a funny joke
Speaker 1: to just be like, if you're feeling that expectation, then
Speaker 1: you just want to put your finger on it. Are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? Are you?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? A lot of times what just happened there,
Speaker 2: But some of them wanted to turn left, so they
Speaker 2: just made their car diagonally left in the middle of
Speaker 2: the road.
Speaker 1: They just took the lane they were in, and then
Speaker 1: they kind of suggested the front of their car over
Speaker 1: to the left.
Speaker 2: Now what's important here for us to do is recall
Speaker 2: the times we've done that. Because I remember doing that,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, no, I'm in the road. They'll understand
Speaker 2: and they're honking, and I'm like, what you've done this?
Speaker 1: Never all think of other people?
Speaker 2: You, well, I do it less, and.
Speaker 1: They're gonna say, well, I begged to differ.
Speaker 2: No, I believe you, and I believe me when we
Speaker 2: do it less than others. I am willing to go.
Speaker 2: I gotta go around the block, and I everyone in
Speaker 2: my car will be like, just do a U turn.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 1: Well. I think also that one is like it feels
Speaker 1: like just lack of experience, because it's kind of like
Speaker 1: people going, oh, oh, I guess I'll go left here
Speaker 1: and then just kind of and having no fear about
Speaker 1: the blocking they're about to be doing. Whereas I think
Speaker 1: if you're the kind of person that is has that concern,
Speaker 1: where're like, I don't want to be honked at, right,
Speaker 1: and I don't want people to be like you're ruining
Speaker 1: my day. Yeah, I just would rather not be that person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But there's people who are like, I don't care what
Speaker 1: kind of person I am in your day because I
Speaker 1: don't care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, And a lot of people are okay
Speaker 2: with honking is just a sound that you hear. Yeah,
Speaker 2: to them, it's just like up, that's the noise cars make.
Speaker 2: You're not going to attach any ownership to that noise.
Speaker 1: It's a friend I haven't met yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone someone angrily honking behind you is just a
Speaker 2: friend you haven't met.
Speaker 1: Yet in a car you won't ever get into.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just imagine that bumper sticker in the amount of
Speaker 2: the cash that would roll in.
Speaker 1: Let's do it for merch.
Speaker 2: Yep, I can hear everyone excited. A person angrily honking
Speaker 2: is just a friend you haven't met. That's great, that's great.
Speaker 1: We might tighten up the top of that. But yep, yes,
Speaker 1: really good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we're We do a little segment in the
Speaker 2: middle of each show called editing bumper sticker ideas.
Speaker 1: What if when the lady and the audience opened the purse,
Speaker 1: she pulled out a bunch of cash and went, oh
Speaker 1: my god, he wasn't it. He wasn't robbing me. He
Speaker 1: gave me money. Yeah, it's not funny, but it could
Speaker 1: be good vibes.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do have a wad of fake one hundreds
Speaker 2: that looks real. It's like movie said cash.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I was just gonna go here to get
Speaker 1: a Sure, let's do it, let's do it.
Speaker 2: Let's go to mc donald say, mom and pop shop.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, maybe she'd go, oh, thank god, that's my
Speaker 2: and I'm and I like, am jealous that the money's
Speaker 2: in there. Yeah, oh good, I'm glad you got your
Speaker 2: what is that ten thousand dollars home? When good good
Speaker 2: forbid that go to a person in need? Oh no,
Speaker 2: yeah that or she could just hand it to me
Speaker 2: and that's when everyone cheers.
Speaker 1: You I'd let go of the cheering.
Speaker 2: Okay, I just feel like that's the button for a video. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everyone cheers, and then that's the end of the video.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that Okay, wait, she pulls up
Speaker 1: the money. They weren't robbing me, look, oh my god,
Speaker 1: they were giving me. And then you go, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: mister beast and then you do a pause and you
Speaker 1: point at the door, and then that's the end of
Speaker 1: the video.
Speaker 2: I like, I really do like this. I honestly think
Speaker 2: I want to try it, ladies and gentlemen, mister Bester
Speaker 2: Beast and tag him in it.
Speaker 1: It's the newest mister Beast bit. And you're just you
Speaker 1: basically are the beginning of influencers that do stuff like that.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'll set you up for the success of
Speaker 1: giving that money. Yeah, I'll just let you and then
Speaker 1: if you want to give this lady the money, you can.
Speaker 2: It's I do like that. I think I'll bring a
Speaker 2: purse with nothing but the money in it, and then
Speaker 2: I'll be ready for anything. It's so funny because I
Speaker 2: never I don't. I know that he's just a nerdy
Speaker 2: guy in with a goatee, but he I don't know
Speaker 2: what he did, but he gave away money. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: I would see mister beasts, power bars or whatever like
Speaker 2: in seven to eleven, like the branding Yes, I saw
Speaker 2: before I ever knew that he was a guy famous
Speaker 2: on the computers in our pants.
Speaker 1: Yes, because he's the children know him. We don't. He's
Speaker 1: not of our time, but he I'm sure has. I
Speaker 1: would guess, and I could totally be wrong, but I
Speaker 1: bet you he has two hundred million followers on YouTube
Speaker 1: or something like that where those branding deals come because
Speaker 1: they're like, if you have that many people, we can
Speaker 1: launch what do you like? Do you like candy bars?
Speaker 1: Will launch your candy bar? Do you like this? Because
Speaker 1: They're just like you already have the ecosystem to sell
Speaker 1: this stuff.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, it's so funny that I'm always surprised when
Speaker 2: I know nothing about a phone famous person when I'm
Speaker 2: looking at the damn thing, probably as much as any teenager. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you know I'm looking at Excel spreadsheets, yes, rode
Speaker 2: up stuff, Dow, the Jones, the Dow and the.
Speaker 1: Jones, Turbo tax emails.
Speaker 2: Oh all. Anytime you see me looking at my phone laughing,
Speaker 2: it's just I'm looking at my receipts or something.
Speaker 1: Hold on a second, I start interrupt.
Speaker 2: It's okay.
Speaker 1: I think they have slurpy like beverages here. Now. Oh
Speaker 1: can you see that sign over there?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm wearing my glasses. It says on any size
Speaker 2: soft drink or frozen beverage, Okay, order a hand.
Speaker 1: That's like a frozen coke, get out of my way, right,
Speaker 1: or a frozen wild blueberry whatever. Yeah, but if their milkshakes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get real mad.
Speaker 2: Did you ever as a child go to Kmart just.
Speaker 1: For the icies?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: Yes and popcorn?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: The Kmart cafeteria or whatever it was was divine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so funny that I I wasn't allowed that stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your mom was intense about it. Yeah, sugar things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's uh but hey, look at me now sipping
Speaker 2: this coke.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get drink that liquid coke and then get
Speaker 1: a frozen coke.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it says coke on the thing.
Speaker 2: Right and then and then I'm going to inhale gas
Speaker 2: coke liquid solid gas. Uh yeah that I uh knew
Speaker 2: coke vapor. I think that would be a thing. But
Speaker 2: it's good for you because it's like oxygen, but it
Speaker 2: tastes like coke.
Speaker 1: So you're just getting a little more oxygen.
Speaker 2: I'm just describing like a healthy version of vaping. So
Speaker 2: it's every every flavor kids want.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you because it's the worst thing
Speaker 1: you could be doing. The worst.
Speaker 2: Oh no, there's drugs, there's there's those chemicals.
Speaker 1: They will kill you.
Speaker 2: Really Okay, Wow, I got to watch that documentary about
Speaker 2: it on Netflix. Maybe that don't scare me straight? What
Speaker 2: about cigarettes? Would you love them? They're better than vaping,
Speaker 2: you think, well, less chemicals.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Well, I gottaut to stop. I gotta stop doing all
Speaker 2: the things. You see here, we're in the McDonald's drive through.
Speaker 2: This was a This McDonald's location was a skate spot.
Speaker 2: Look what they did to stop it. They have the
Speaker 2: pieces of metal there and then over there they put
Speaker 2: up a couple poles.
Speaker 1: Why though, I who cares?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have frozen cokes? Is that what I'm
Speaker 1: seeing on that sign? What flavors do you have? Okay?
Speaker 1: So can I get one medium coke frozen coke, one
Speaker 1: medium berry flavor and a medium regular Dike coke? Just
Speaker 1: normal Dit coke?
Speaker 2: Yep, thank you. I don't know if this is real
Speaker 2: or just the premise of a Dave Waite joke, but
Speaker 2: he said AI was going to start dictating what you
Speaker 2: pay a grocery store. So they will scan you and
Speaker 2: according to your your clothing and your posture and the
Speaker 2: time of day, give the price right for you, which
Speaker 2: I think. I like the sound up, like this person
Speaker 2: is what would they look for? This person's limping and
Speaker 2: is moving slow. Let's give them a dollar off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this person's old, except for your interpreting it like
Speaker 1: the best way possible.
Speaker 2: Yes I am. Yeah. But also, hey, I'm going to
Speaker 2: show up at eight pm and wear these old rags.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like when I used to paint windows as a kid.
Speaker 2: I in high school. I would dress up nice like
Speaker 2: to go door to door to sell them, and I
Speaker 2: quickly learned, Oh I got to wear my paint splattered
Speaker 2: jacket I got from my dad. That's three sizes it's
Speaker 2: too low, yeah, and ride a bike in the snow.
Speaker 2: And they were and I sold. They were like once,
Speaker 2: I you know, look like Oliver Twist. Yes, I sold
Speaker 2: every other door, every other business.
Speaker 1: That's great, Like you're kind of working the pity angle.
Speaker 1: But also I think the paint splatter helps because you
Speaker 1: look like the real deal, right, So they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to support an art.
Speaker 2: It was mostly that I was a paint splattered child. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so h And at the time, I mean, I'm okay
Speaker 2: at art now, but at that age I was ahead.
Speaker 2: If I could do any bragging, it would only be
Speaker 2: about that how good at art I was in like
Speaker 2: high school, and I just kind of, you know, you
Speaker 2: discover other things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you have many, many hoppies at this point.
Speaker 2: And it was an early experience of like, what I'm
Speaker 2: putting into this isn't worth what I'm getting paid. So
Speaker 2: it was like and I tried raising my prices and
Speaker 2: then they would and it was like everything had to
Speaker 2: be under one hundred dollars. Yeah, And it sometimes would
Speaker 2: take me all day, or it would freeze. The paint
Speaker 2: would freeze on the glass, Karen, much like the beverages
Speaker 2: we're about to get, because it was so cold, and
Speaker 2: so I would have to put a heat lamp on
Speaker 2: the glass to warm the glass so it would be
Speaker 2: it would the paint would dry before it froze. Because
Speaker 2: one time I did a Nativity scene with the faces
Speaker 2: of the people were different car salesmen, and it froze
Speaker 2: and then thought out and the next day their faces
Speaker 2: were melted. Oh, and it looked like a horror movie
Speaker 2: and I had to scrape it all off and start
Speaker 2: over again. Oh, we're getting our frozen beverage.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like that guy. I liked he winked, and that
Speaker 2: was a perfect wink.
Speaker 1: It was a perfect wink and thumbs up. I don't
Speaker 1: know the last time someone gave me a thumbs up
Speaker 1: or a wink or.
Speaker 2: A wink, certainly the last time. I mean, that's that
Speaker 2: guy just gave a you know, winning baseball team's last
Speaker 2: encouragement type.
Speaker 1: Look, yeah, it was kind of like we're all together
Speaker 1: in this one. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that was great because it's that winks
Speaker 2: can be taken the wrong way. Thank you, Like Michelle
Speaker 2: balloone once said, who winks? Pedophiles and leprechauns. Here we
Speaker 2: go the diet soda? Which biodegradable straw? Yours? Do you
Speaker 2: want me to jam the straw in yours? I touched
Speaker 2: the end of the part where your mouth will go in. Sorry, okay,
Speaker 2: making up for an entire childhood of not getting beverages
Speaker 2: a kmar get ready, but certainly all of my underwear
Speaker 2: heres A frozen coke reaction audio ASMR oh man, that's sweet,
Speaker 2: so sweet. Boy. I think there's more sweet in this
Speaker 2: than a regular coke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I'm sure there is. It's also Mine's wine punch.
Speaker 1: You want to try it. It's so good. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: also so fucking sweet. Holy shit. That is is than yours?
Speaker 2: Yes, that is liquid Smarties candy sweet?
Speaker 1: Oh shit? Oh yeah, yeah, mine's way sweeter.
Speaker 2: I mean we're going to finish these. Our feet are
Speaker 2: gonna hurt. Look, it's that sweet.
Speaker 1: This is the fuel that drives all of our podcasting.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, we are going to be talking a mile
Speaker 2: a minute. This next episode we're recording after this probably
Speaker 2: gonna be twenty minutes long.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just going to be back to back.
Speaker 2: But all the information, all the valuable fact based.
Speaker 1: Information broken, no pausing, no breathing.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, our guests will be exhausted.
Speaker 1: Hm hmm, that's kind of what I wanted.
Speaker 2: That's good. People love. Hey, the you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: learn to enjoy smacking and slurping. I mean, because it's
Speaker 2: not going away.
Speaker 1: No, it's not. I do you apologize? Yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: so it's sour and sweet and like truly it's smackworthy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you see the sign that says google queercoalas dot com.
Speaker 2: I do, and I feel like it's handwritten, and that
Speaker 2: makes me not usually go to a website.
Speaker 1: It looks like a child thinks they're being funny.
Speaker 2: Well, now I do want to go. If kids made
Speaker 2: a queer Koala website, actually, everyone go queercoulalaws dot com.
Speaker 2: Support them, let us know what it is. I can
Speaker 2: actually tell you, oh, oh, here we go.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: So it's a group of people trying to open a
Speaker 3: lesbian part in LA and so they are selling NFTs
Speaker 3: of little koalas. So they're asking for people to donate
Speaker 3: turn to help fund this floor that's going to have
Speaker 3: cheaper drinks, like they're.
Speaker 1: Trying to celebrate. Okay, you're speaking as if you planted
Speaker 1: that sign right and you really wanted to get the
Speaker 1: word out.
Speaker 2: Also, I have not heard mention of non fungible tokens
Speaker 2: for about two years, when at that time everyone was saying,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, Chris Fairbanks, you gotta make NFTs And
Speaker 2: I'm like, explain to me again what it is, and
Speaker 2: then this high pitched, this high pitched ringing noise would
Speaker 2: start in my head, the same one I hear when
Speaker 2: someone tries to explain cryptocurrency to me.
Speaker 1: Well, it's very similar because it's it's a little scammy.
Speaker 1: But I remember seeing something on TikTok about how there
Speaker 1: are like so few lesbian bars or I guess I
Speaker 1: should just say queer bars, but like those spaces for
Speaker 1: queer women that like somebody opened one and it was
Speaker 1: probably I think in Portland or Seattle, and it was
Speaker 1: like a sports watch women's sports type of bar, and
Speaker 1: they got so much support and like so many people
Speaker 1: because it was like I remember that, yeah, remember it
Speaker 1: was like they were like, hey, there's there used to
Speaker 1: be tons of these, Now there's hardly any. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: a post COVID thing. So as long as those people
Speaker 1: aren't trying to rip people off with NFT.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, that's certainly not an example of the NFT
Speaker 2: my NFT fears.
Speaker 1: But always must be cautious.
Speaker 2: I just knew I didn't personally want to create a
Speaker 2: one of a kind tiny artwork or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: I still don't know what it is. A stamp, a
Speaker 2: hand drawn stamp.
Speaker 1: Well kind of looks like that, right, but then it
Speaker 1: just is on it's online and then people buy it,
Speaker 1: right wouldn you trade it?
Speaker 2: Ultimately? Though? Isn't everyone knowing it's not a currency?
Speaker 1: Correct? It's it's like it's supposed to be online art,
Speaker 1: I believe, right.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well I should have heard this get out because
Speaker 2: I did a show in San Francisco and this kid
Speaker 2: was there for an NFT conference and I showed him
Speaker 2: some of my art and he's like, all, we should meet.
Speaker 2: I'll teach you more about this, and I did not
Speaker 2: follow up, and he was an expert in NFTs. I
Speaker 2: believe he was speaking at some conference.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the thing about stuff like that. It's
Speaker 1: hard to tell these days what's going to be the
Speaker 1: next Apple and what's going to be the next we
Speaker 1: all got ripped off, right, It's hard to tell. It
Speaker 1: is hard to tell, and you want to kind of
Speaker 1: be open minded and be like, well, I don't know
Speaker 1: how anything about computers, but I sure want to be
Speaker 1: there if something it's the next big thing is happening.
Speaker 2: Right right, There's a lot of things I am part
Speaker 2: of now that I'm just a handful of years. I
Speaker 2: remember how adamantly opposed I was to having an email
Speaker 2: when I lived in Austin, and Michelle Balloon was like,
Speaker 2: just get an email account because it was the only
Speaker 2: way to find out about this softball league we were in.
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I don't. There's going to be all
Speaker 2: these responses like what do I bring? And I got
Speaker 2: to sift through them, like before it even started, I
Speaker 2: was anticipating, not enjoying it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were right.
Speaker 2: I was right.
Speaker 1: I fucking hate email.
Speaker 2: And then and then Michelle talked me into getting a
Speaker 2: damn cell phone. I was perfectly happy with my landline
Speaker 2: and my fax machine.
Speaker 1: I remember both of those moments in my life where
Speaker 1: it was like I think the cell phone was because
Speaker 1: I didn't have any money. But every time I would
Speaker 1: hang out with my friend who did have a cell phone,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, hey, can I use that for right?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And she made it very clear she didn't like it,
Speaker 1: where I was like whatever, and then I got my own,
Speaker 1: but I was like, what are you getting charged per call?
Speaker 1: Fucking relax?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think she was. Yeah, they definitely figured
Speaker 2: it out. I think it looks like we're going to
Speaker 2: be taken a right pretty soon. Oh really based on that,
Speaker 2: but sip not to get Oh I'm silly where I
Speaker 2: guess I don't. I'm having trouble reading it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because you've gone so far away from where
Speaker 1: we were supposed to land, because because that's the second episode.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, right, sure, So now we're just going to.
Speaker 1: Loop back and it'll it'll we'll get back to where
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's hard to you know, I come from a
Speaker 2: I'm pretty good at reading a paper map, you know,
Speaker 2: and a lot of people aren't. It's funny you and
Speaker 2: I come from the Thomas Guide world. Like if you
Speaker 2: if everything ended, we it, maybe you and I would
Speaker 2: survive because we're not read a paper map.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, there's in the Thomas Guide. There was one.
Speaker 1: I think it was page three fifty four, could be wrong,
Speaker 1: but that was like central LA. It was like basically
Speaker 1: Fairfax to you know, I don't know island or you
Speaker 1: know the grid of that area that I was. I
Speaker 1: used it so much that I basically ended up accidentally
Speaker 1: ripping that page out because it was the constant reference
Speaker 1: of like, oh, I have to go to you know,
Speaker 1: I have to go to Paramount, how do I get
Speaker 1: there from where I live? And they're just constantly on
Speaker 1: the same page all the time. Because it was central Hollywood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was sort of complicated because you had to
Speaker 2: look up an address right and then it said L
Speaker 2: seven and page whatever, So you'd have to go to
Speaker 2: that page and go down, you know, follow the horizontal
Speaker 2: vertically and all while driving. Anyone that thinks glancing down
Speaker 2: at a phone while driving is worse than a giant
Speaker 2: catalog in my lap or I used to print out
Speaker 2: all these map We sound so old, but it wasn't
Speaker 2: that long ago. I know, Matt like printing out on
Speaker 2: my printer or map. That's the reason I owned a
Speaker 2: two D printer was to print out directions and then
Speaker 2: i'd floppy loose leaf papers just churning around in the
Speaker 2: front seat like we were in a centrifuge trying to
Speaker 2: read it.
Speaker 1: Also, I hate to tell you this, but as you say,
Speaker 1: it wasn't that long ago. It was thirty years ago.
Speaker 1: It was it was three decades ago.
Speaker 2: Actually, well, yes, well twenty I moved here in two
Speaker 2: thousand and three, so I and that first year I
Speaker 2: just remember always printing out. So but yeah, twenty one
Speaker 2: years ridiculous, it's a long time. Yeah, it's It's insane
Speaker 2: to me that that is the only time looking down
Speaker 2: at a printed piece of paper low on ink. So
Speaker 2: I had to really shove it in my face and
Speaker 2: I hit the back. It's the only car rack I've
Speaker 2: ever been the guilty of it. And hit this bumper
Speaker 2: on a truck and both the guys cartoonishly got out.
Speaker 2: I think one of them had a neck brace, no
Speaker 2: put on, no, they were holding their necks and I
Speaker 2: was like I barely bumped them, like their their bumper
Speaker 2: was a metal bumper. And it was kind of folded down,
Speaker 2: but I really think it was already like that, because
Speaker 2: I it was just like this, like we were stopped
Speaker 2: in traffic and I went early and they hadn't moved,
Speaker 2: but I was looking at a piece of paper, and
Speaker 2: so when they came to my car, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, that was my fault. I was looking
Speaker 2: at a piece of paper. I'm so sorry. And they
Speaker 2: were like, well, do you have insurance? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I just moved here. I'm in between my Montana and
Speaker 2: insurance and getting new insurance here. And they're like, well,
Speaker 2: do you want to go to an eight TM? And
Speaker 2: I got out like probably one hundred dollars and gave
Speaker 2: it to them, and they gave me a card, well,
Speaker 2: just if you ever need roofing shingles, call us. And
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, their necks were better, but
Speaker 2: they were holding their necks like they're like, now it's
Speaker 2: our chance. And then they saw I was just a
Speaker 2: kid and a dented Mustang, and so they kind of
Speaker 2: dropped it. But they could have been jerks. Like I
Speaker 2: still don't know how to feel about it.
Speaker 1: It's a little bold to be like here, yeah, call
Speaker 1: us for roofing where it's like, how about you take
Speaker 1: your one hundred dollars and fuck off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know you're not going to spend it
Speaker 2: on that bumper, but that's fine, that's fine. I still
Speaker 2: have the card. Wouldn't it be funny? Let's call him
Speaker 2: twenty one years later?
Speaker 1: Hey, mister beast, what if you early on the show
Speaker 1: flipped did your joke where you flip your shoe up
Speaker 1: into your hand answer the phone, and then later when
Speaker 1: the purse gets robbed, the woman stands up and find
Speaker 1: it's your shoe. I don't know how you do that.
Speaker 2: Though, right, yeah, shit, you're right though, there needs.
Speaker 1: To be It's like a callback in a purse.
Speaker 2: Right, I will think of it. I will think of
Speaker 2: it and tonight will go great, or I'll get scared
Speaker 2: and just do my planned material. Yeah, but I just
Speaker 2: I do like the idea. There was a comic, Rich
Speaker 2: Gabe that had in Austin. He had like three or
Speaker 2: four long bits where it was like a Rube Goldberg
Speaker 2: machine of things happening, this causing this, this, so therefore
Speaker 2: this happens, And there was all these audience plants and
Speaker 2: they were so smart, these these bits standalone seven minute
Speaker 2: bits that I always wanted to think of something like that.
Speaker 2: I to where I almost called him he's been out
Speaker 2: of comedy for twenty five years, Like I do ever
Speaker 2: have ideas? Is that because he would get them from
Speaker 2: my old comic books and stuff. He used to read
Speaker 2: a lot, and these amazing bits. Everyone remembers. He won
Speaker 2: the funniest person in Austin contest like this, this ventriloquist recorder.
Speaker 2: There was just it was just an actual tape recorder
Speaker 2: with eyes on it. And he was like, you want
Speaker 2: to drink of water? And and the recorder said sure.
Speaker 2: He just had it all timed out with Heckler's heckling,
Speaker 2: and the recording had enough silence on it to let
Speaker 2: that person heckle that it worked every time.
Speaker 1: That's Austin's rotten Lynch.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes he was. He was great. He was way
Speaker 2: ahead of all the alternative comedy I'd ever seen. There
Speaker 2: was so many interesting weird comics like that. When I started, like,
Speaker 2: you think, if you moved to Texas to become a comedian,
Speaker 2: you're gonna see a lot of like this is ready
Speaker 2: for the Southern Road type acts. But no, everyone, even
Speaker 2: if they were a prison guard during the day, they
Speaker 2: had the most interesting ideas, whether or not they were
Speaker 2: super good.
Speaker 1: You know what, because of Bill Hicks, Like I think
Speaker 1: there were such good comics that people looked up to
Speaker 1: right that they wanted to they were aiming for and
Speaker 1: trying to be like great comics. No one's aiming for
Speaker 1: being a road hack. Like right right now at the beginning,
Speaker 1: everyone's like, what's my special expression that's going to make
Speaker 1: me fascinating. I just think there's Austin is a lot
Speaker 1: like San Francisco or Portland and one of those towns
Speaker 1: where it's the internal competition, you know, gets everybody so creative.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're right. It was at the valvator room
Speaker 2: where I started. There was a list of rules and
Speaker 2: by Bill Hicks on the wall right before you went
Speaker 2: on on stage, and I would actually check it, like
Speaker 2: a list of things you need for a flight. And
Speaker 2: I don't remember all of them. I know the first
Speaker 2: one of the rules was like I don't don't think
Speaker 2: about what you're gonna say first, which I have to
Speaker 2: say I actually don't agree with because well, I don't.
Speaker 1: Understand don't plan your material right or.
Speaker 2: Don't plan your first joke, just go out and start
Speaker 2: talking about whatever feels in the moment. But that idea, yeah,
Speaker 2: backfires all the time. Yeah. I later on, when I
Speaker 2: saw that list again, I was like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I I didn't agree with all of them, but a
Speaker 2: lot of this stuff that I'm not remembering what was helpful,
Speaker 2: and I would I would look at that list and
Speaker 2: it did help me. Like essentially the whole list was
Speaker 2: like be in the moment, don't be glued to gesture material.
Speaker 2: It was it lent itself to being like improvisational.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything which is smart and yeah, yeah, I'm sure
Speaker 1: I told you this. But I met Andy Kidler like
Speaker 1: two weeks before I did my first Oh it was
Speaker 1: the first contest I was ever in. So I'd only
Speaker 1: been doing comedy for like a month. And then the
Speaker 1: the you know, the small like club that wasn't it
Speaker 1: wasn't an actual club, it was just the place where
Speaker 1: they did this show. They had a yearly comedy competition,
Speaker 1: and so I was in it. But I was so
Speaker 1: nervous and I was so like freaked out. And so
Speaker 1: when I met Andy Killer, I was like, you have
Speaker 1: to help me, you have to tell me how to
Speaker 1: do this and like give me tips, and all he
Speaker 1: would do is riff. So he's like stare at the
Speaker 1: back wall like there's a clock on it, and he like,
Speaker 1: take your jokes, number them from one to T like
Speaker 1: he was. He did all this shit that was like
Speaker 1: absolutely not only not helpful, but was like stressing me
Speaker 1: out more where I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, do I really need help get joking?
Speaker 1: Yes he was, because he was. Basically it was the
Speaker 1: same idea where he's like he's been doing it so long,
Speaker 1: where he's like, if if you think there's something I
Speaker 1: can tell you, there's nothing I can tell you, right,
Speaker 1: Like you have to just not care this much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's true. The only thing that when I
Speaker 2: moved to Austin, knowing I wanted to do stand up,
Speaker 2: having only tried at once, I went to this guy,
Speaker 2: Matt Sadler. I went to where he worked. I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: you told me to call you if I moved here.
Speaker 2: I moved here. How do I do stand up? And
Speaker 2: he said, well, write some jokes and then your best
Speaker 2: joke end with that, and your second best joke start
Speaker 2: with that, and then just fill in the middle with
Speaker 2: everything you write after that. And I'm like oh okay,
Speaker 2: And to this day, no advice has been truer than that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, yeah, it was like the best.
Speaker 1: Well, and also it's like start, you do need to
Speaker 1: start that set with your number two joke so the
Speaker 1: audience knows you know what you're doing. Then you can
Speaker 1: fuck around right. Then you can end on your number
Speaker 1: one joke and you have somewhere to land. But like
Speaker 1: that idea of like go out on stage and feel
Speaker 1: around is such a like successful comedian, insanely hilarious person's advice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where it's like, thanks for setting me up for abject failure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think there are many times where I had
Speaker 2: a good set and it's because whatever random thing in
Speaker 2: the moment I happen to start with worked. But more
Speaker 2: often than not, it's like, no, start get a laugh
Speaker 2: right away, do a joke right when you get out there,
Speaker 2: and then mess around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like yeah, so show them that you're okay so
Speaker 1: that they can relax, then you can have fun.
Speaker 2: It's fine. I even forgot that before this past week
Speaker 2: of doing steady shows. I when I finally was like,
Speaker 2: do get a laugh right when you get on stage
Speaker 2: with a joke, a one line anything, yeah, and then
Speaker 2: the rest of the set it was no worries. But
Speaker 2: I tried to be Lucy Goosey, beginning by referencing things
Speaker 2: that they may or may not have remembered previously in
Speaker 2: the show at the Comedy Store. And I kind of
Speaker 2: didn't do well. But that's okay, I exactly. I drove
Speaker 2: away thinking that I was still stuck to my guns.
Speaker 2: I said, through the tears, well, I believe I will
Speaker 2: conclude this episode. This is kind of how I ended
Speaker 2: my set the other night.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's hear it.
Speaker 2: Ice, I said, you know what, this was fun. You
Speaker 2: guys were great. I seriously had so much fun on
Speaker 2: stage tonight, and I thank you all for listening. I've
Speaker 2: been Chris Fairbanks good night. And there was a huge applause.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, because you were kind of ticking like sincere
Speaker 1: and I.
Speaker 2: Had done well up until that. There's just all this
Speaker 2: pressure to end on a laugh, but you can also
Speaker 2: end on a pandury. You guys were great and I
Speaker 2: had fun, yeah, which is how SORRY try and do
Speaker 2: that with this episode.
Speaker 1: Really, one more question, Did you do that at the
Speaker 1: Comedy Store?
Speaker 2: No, I did it at the Blind Barber Highland Park
Speaker 2: oh cool, and but it happened to be an amazing audience.
Speaker 1: That was Parken back to the this fucking thing is
Speaker 1: trying to make me take a left on lose Phelis,
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: We have a lot of navigating to do. But you've
Speaker 2: been a great audience and this has been a really
Speaker 2: good episode. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?
Speaker 2: D y n are good? Honk for real? This has
Speaker 2: been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent
Speaker 1: booker is Patrick Kottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh You're welcome,