Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Speaker 1: hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
Speaker 1: We are back at it again on a Saturday, Saturday Saturday,
Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour, because four hours a night are clearly
Speaker 1: not enough, eight days a week from a secret podcast
Speaker 1: studio somewhere far far away in the north Woods, unless
Speaker 1: that's not the case, And yet again joined by a
Speaker 1: man who does not live the West of the four
Speaker 1: oh five lifestyle, even though I think he actually lives
Speaker 1: West of the four or five. But he's not the
Speaker 1: He's not that kind of guy. Danny G Radio back
Speaker 1: on a Saturday. Hello Danny G. What's up, Ben? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's more like a Ventura County dude. Well, that deserves
Speaker 1: some applause because, uh, you know, not that you know,
Speaker 1: we've had our issues in the past. The West of
Speaker 1: the four or five. He's not here anymore. It's all
Speaker 1: about you. And uh so I'm excited now on this
Speaker 1: edition of the Fifth Hour, We've got the files of
Speaker 1: the life of Mallard. So we have camouflage punked and
Speaker 1: the red light is flashing and uh and I'm sure
Speaker 1: we have tales of the life of Danny g as well. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm sure some amazing things happen to you this week
Speaker 1: that you're gonna share with the ones. Of course. Not no,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna give them the insight skinny on your
Speaker 1: amazing wildlife living in Los Angeles. No, yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: have a couple of good tales. All right, very good.
Speaker 1: We have the mail Bag on Sunday. If you didn't
Speaker 1: he here the Friday Extravagance and what an amazing interview.
Speaker 1: I don't give it away. If you missed it, go
Speaker 1: back and listen. But you're gonna be blown away. The
Speaker 1: conversation on Friday Nanny. Yeah, that's podcast. We're gonna win
Speaker 1: some kind of podcasting award for that podcast on Friday.
Speaker 1: Top of mine, my friend, it's you know, one sport
Speaker 1: everybody's talking about right now. Yeah, I gotta get my fixed.
Speaker 1: I love the coaching carousel. I'm all about the coaching carousel, Danny,
Speaker 1: I wish we had a radio care So wouldn't that
Speaker 1: be fun if we had like a radio carousel and
Speaker 1: you could have bidding wars with random people trying to
Speaker 1: hire you away and pay you great. Where would you
Speaker 1: rank among the radio coaches? Well, I would be mid
Speaker 1: level at best. That would be mid level. But think
Speaker 1: of the bidding war like you could be a free agent.
Speaker 1: You can go anywhere. That used to be what radio
Speaker 1: was like back in the old days. If you were
Speaker 1: top notch DJ. We're we're around the same age. We
Speaker 1: heard stories. I heard stories from guys that would there'd
Speaker 1: be they'd be like the top DJ in Chicago and
Speaker 1: they get stolen away by New York, or they were
Speaker 1: in Boston and somebody in Detroit wanted them and they
Speaker 1: bounced all over the place making tons of money. You're
Speaker 1: a storyteller, so I figure you to be like a
Speaker 1: Mike Leach. My I do enjoy Mike Leach. He's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite coaches in college football. He's a bullshit
Speaker 1: artist and I appreciate that. And he's a pretty good
Speaker 1: offensive coach. And that guy has been all over God's
Speaker 1: being earth as Uh, and then we'll schedule him. I
Speaker 1: can get him on the podcast. Yeah, I'd love to
Speaker 1: get him. You know we should get to is Brent Musburger.
Speaker 1: I'd love to get musgled Hey. I love getting legends
Speaker 1: on and uh and just blow But the the camel
Speaker 1: flash story, they will start with that because exciting news.
Speaker 1: Exciting news and the files of the life of Mallard. Uh.
Speaker 1: This week, Uh, the Mallard Mansion became full again. An
Speaker 1: old friend, an old friend returned after an eighty six
Speaker 1: day since the bitch is back, Danny, what happened? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the dog. The dog has returned, Bella. Where do you
Speaker 1: think I was talking about women? How dare you? I
Speaker 1: believe the clinical term for a female dog is a bitch.
Speaker 1: But but Bella returned to the Mallard Mansion. If you've
Speaker 1: been following along here on the Saturday podcast, I moved
Speaker 1: apparently eighties six days prior to Bella returning. Actually has
Speaker 1: been more than that, ninety days since this happened. But uh,
Speaker 1: Bella was not able to live at the house here
Speaker 1: it's a construction zone. We finally got enough stuff done
Speaker 1: where it is dog friendly here deep in the North Wood.
Speaker 1: So it's all systems go very excited about that my
Speaker 1: old furry friend is back. It is not all rainbows
Speaker 1: and lollipops, though, Danny, because there has been some tension
Speaker 1: with Bella's return here, the family dog, here, the mascot
Speaker 1: of the malle militia. Unfortunately, Uh, she has decided the
Speaker 1: entire house is a porta potty or for dogs. Now,
Speaker 1: when we had Bella before, she had been potty trained,
Speaker 1: and then we moved to a temporary Mallard mansion which
Speaker 1: was a halfway house, and she started shipping all over
Speaker 1: the rental which was a problem, which was a big problem.
Speaker 1: And uh, but she then was apparently where she's been
Speaker 1: staying here with the the in laws. She was doing
Speaker 1: pretty good, my dog. And now she has decided that
Speaker 1: some kind of payback maybe for the eighties six days.
Speaker 1: This is like an eye for an eye and shipped
Speaker 1: for a ship, and she's decided to poop all over
Speaker 1: the house. And the big problem here, Danny, is camouflage.
Speaker 1: And you've not been to the new Mallard mansion. At
Speaker 1: some point we'll get you over here. And uh, the
Speaker 1: problem them that I have is the flooring that we
Speaker 1: put in this house is the same color of the
Speaker 1: dog poop that comes out of Bella. And so I
Speaker 1: walk around here at night. I'm pretty much awake at night,
Speaker 1: not during the day as much, and especially now because
Speaker 1: the sun goes down, so you can imagine walking around
Speaker 1: it's like dodging land mines, steaming piles of dog turds.
Speaker 1: And I need a I need some kind of flashlight
Speaker 1: or something when when I'm walking around it's I thought
Speaker 1: it was wood colored, but apparently it's actually ship color.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. Uh So, Also, Bella has taken
Speaker 1: umbrage with using the doggy door. Apparently thinks she's too
Speaker 1: good for the doggie door, which we spend a good
Speaker 1: amount of money putting in the doggyed door thinking it
Speaker 1: would be perfect for the dog. Danny the dog has
Speaker 1: chosen not to bother using the doggie door, waiting for
Speaker 1: one of us to open the door to get the
Speaker 1: v I P service. Like so, it's a it's a
Speaker 1: pretty much a disaster so far. And uh I remember
Speaker 1: on the on a previous podcast, we had talked about
Speaker 1: this and I didn't take good notes. Bella's got breath issues. Also,
Speaker 1: I got a lot of issues with this dog. It's
Speaker 1: an old dog. So I have to some some listeners
Speaker 1: sent products. I gotta go back and check. Maybe my
Speaker 1: email I can find it, because there are some things
Speaker 1: you can get for dogs that have terrible breath. Have
Speaker 1: you ever had are you a dog guy, Danny? Or
Speaker 1: you are? You? Are you had the you'r a cat guy?
Speaker 1: I remember you had the Do you still have that cat? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: growing up I had both dogs and cats, and that's
Speaker 1: the case right now. I have a dog and a cat. Okay,
Speaker 1: I remember the cat. I remember you've had the cat
Speaker 1: for a while. I remember the story when you got
Speaker 1: that Yeah, yeah, the panther yeah, and then Mac Mac
Speaker 1: and the dog is uh yeah. The dog belongs to
Speaker 1: my fiance. Now she's not old enough to have health issues.
Speaker 1: We're not in your territory yet, all right, so so
Speaker 1: just keep the dog inside at night, you don't, I
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know the story Bella got
Speaker 1: bitten by a coyote at the halfway House and that
Speaker 1: that was a nice couple of grands that you had
Speaker 1: to spend on emergency surgery. And I know you have
Speaker 1: lots of checking accounts where you set money aside for things.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, Yeah, who doesn't do that? Danny? Right? I mean,
Speaker 1: my god, I mean we all, we all do it,
Speaker 1: and then you wake up one day and it's like surprised, motherfucker. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. You gotta spend spend a bunch of
Speaker 1: money on that. But anyway, it's good. So it's good
Speaker 1: to have Bella back all things. And uh is she?
Speaker 1: Is it too old? I know that old the old
Speaker 1: phrase that you can't teach an old dog new tricks
Speaker 1: rights as Bella gone too far here where I can't
Speaker 1: train her now to go through the doggy door again,
Speaker 1: and and all that. So well, I know what's coming up.
Speaker 1: And my mom pulled this on me and my brothers,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure a lot of our listeners have this
Speaker 1: happened to them when they were kids too. My mom
Speaker 1: took our old dog, Charlie, who was a cocker Spaniel,
Speaker 1: to a farmer's ranch for a better life so he
Speaker 1: had room to run around. Really is that? What is
Speaker 1: that what she told you? That? You're sure your mom
Speaker 1: didn't drive fifty miles away and get out, get out fight, Oh,
Speaker 1: get out of here. Pretty sure that's exactly what happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here you know I'm not at that at that point,
Speaker 1: but I don't know that I would spend another two
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. You always say that, and then when in
Speaker 1: the heat of the moment, they got you, Like these
Speaker 1: animal hospitals got you because you don't expect your dog
Speaker 1: to be attacked by a coyote, right, You're like, yes,
Speaker 1: that you hear about that on the news, but you're like,
Speaker 1: that's not gonna happen. And then when it happens, and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I gotta do something. You know that
Speaker 1: dogs bleeding, the dogs dying, You're like, all right, whatever,
Speaker 1: here's all my money, you know, and it's like watch
Speaker 1: where you step. Yeah, exactly. Well, now I just sitting
Speaker 1: in my st vidio here and I don't Bell is
Speaker 1: not allowed in here right now because I don't want
Speaker 1: her pooping all over this place, because that would I
Speaker 1: gotta be in here a lot, so I don't need
Speaker 1: the the floor is covered with poop. Uh. So there
Speaker 1: is that now the punk story, Danny, another story from
Speaker 1: the files of the Life of Malice. So during the week, uh,
Speaker 1: and you know this from working on the show, I
Speaker 1: have to record a lot of commercials. Anybody does these
Speaker 1: radio shows, you gotta record a lot of commercials, and
Speaker 1: now because of the podcast, it's both for terrestrial radio
Speaker 1: and for podcasting, And a lot of the recording is
Speaker 1: done during the commercial messages that played during the show.
Speaker 1: So we'll record sometimes we record promos, and uh, whatever
Speaker 1: needs to be recorded, we'll often do it during the
Speaker 1: commercial messages that are being played. So we're doing something. Uh.
Speaker 1: So normally I am as snug as a bug in
Speaker 1: the rug when it comes to this kind of content,
Speaker 1: recording commercials done in a long time. Uh, this week
Speaker 1: it was a tinder box, Danny. Uh, it was a
Speaker 1: nightmare situation. I was bobbing and weaving my way around
Speaker 1: a audio minefield trying to record these commercials. So why
Speaker 1: was this random night different than all other nights I
Speaker 1: was attempting to record. I had two thirty second spots
Speaker 1: and two sixty second spots, so you know standard commercials
Speaker 1: and radio sixty thirty and like fifteen, right, those are
Speaker 1: usually sometimes five like a five second, but you don't
Speaker 1: record those usually anyway. So I was up to my
Speaker 1: eyeballs in spots and I won't say who they were.
Speaker 1: Four I don't want to I want to rip anybody's
Speaker 1: who broke the copy. But I was told to read
Speaker 1: the copy of verbatim, said, read the copy of verbatim,
Speaker 1: which means don't miss anything, add anything, don't miss it,
Speaker 1: and boom done. Um. So I read the copy. I
Speaker 1: get to a thirty second spot, and for the life
Speaker 1: of me, I cannot get the commercial in thirty secings. Now,
Speaker 1: as you know Dan doing this radio stuff, when it's
Speaker 1: a for radio, it has to be exactly thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: It can't be twenty nine seconds. It's not supposed to
Speaker 1: be thirty one. Can't be thirty one, maybe twenty nine.
Speaker 1: But people pay for thirty seconds. They want thirty seconds
Speaker 1: of content, right and um. And we don't write the copy.
Speaker 1: The copies written. We occasionally we were able to add live,
Speaker 1: but the copies written by somebody else, and then it's
Speaker 1: sent to us and then we have to read the copies.
Speaker 1: So that's how this stuff was. And so I could
Speaker 1: not get this commercial in thirty seconds. And there was
Speaker 1: a moment I did this. Time after time after time.
Speaker 1: I kept trying to read as fast as I could,
Speaker 1: and I was convinced that I was like on an
Speaker 1: episode of Punked or TV's Blue was some practical jokes
Speaker 1: that somebody was messing around with me, Like it was
Speaker 1: a mind trick. Now, how many seconds over were you? Oh?
Speaker 1: Six or seven? I mean it was unbelievable. So they
Speaker 1: were trying to jam forty seconds worth of copy and yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So it was a way. It was ten pounds of
Speaker 1: ship for a three pound back, is what it was.
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I'm looking around, like maybe there's
Speaker 1: a hidden camera. They're gonna record this for a blooper
Speaker 1: show at the end of the year or something like that.
Speaker 1: And it was a total travesty. I'm using remember that
Speaker 1: you remember the infomercial for the speed reading hand, remember
Speaker 1: that you can speed read for th infomercial they had.
Speaker 1: I was a kid. I used to love infomercials and
Speaker 1: for thirty teach you all the tricks on how to
Speaker 1: speed read, you know, you'd use your hand and go
Speaker 1: through the words and how you can memorize speeches. And
Speaker 1: I never bought it, but I remember the infomercial. I
Speaker 1: think it's on YouTube, so I think you can watch
Speaker 1: it on on YouTube anyway, So I did this thing
Speaker 1: like six or seven times, and I'm just losing my mind.
Speaker 1: I'm pulling out the little hair I have left on
Speaker 1: top of my head. I'm like, what the hell is
Speaker 1: going on? Have I lost my way? Am I finally senile? Uh?
Speaker 1: Is this? It? Is? This? The end of me? I
Speaker 1: can't do the damn thirty second commercial? How can I
Speaker 1: work in radio if I can't do a thirty second commercial?
Speaker 1: So anyway, I keep doing this thing over and over
Speaker 1: and over and uh and then a voice in my head.
Speaker 1: I will not say who the guilty party is, uh,
Speaker 1: Danny G. But let's just say the initials are J, C,
Speaker 1: J C. Are the initials? Uh? And I hear this
Speaker 1: whisper in my head. Hey, I misread the top of
Speaker 1: the copy. Uh that's actually for the podcast. You can
Speaker 1: go as long as you want. Wops. Uh. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: the the guilty party had told me to read the
Speaker 1: podcast commercial as a terrestrial radio commercial and not just
Speaker 1: or said podcast. And needless to say, it was a
Speaker 1: very frustrating experience. I was so upset that I Roberto
Speaker 1: does this cooking with Roberto thing, and I I ended
Speaker 1: up pushing that back because I had to complain. I
Speaker 1: had to rant and rave, I had to get I
Speaker 1: had to blow some steam. Off because I got very
Speaker 1: upset and it was very I was very emotional. And
Speaker 1: then when I finally found out that I was not me,
Speaker 1: it was it was it was human error, I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: thank goodness, very excited about that. So these are first
Speaker 1: world problems. I didn't say it was cool, but it
Speaker 1: was j C. It might be there's many people with
Speaker 1: the initials j C. There's only one that I know of,
Speaker 1: but there's many people that I in the world that
Speaker 1: have the initials j C. It was some revenge since
Speaker 1: he has to work with you every night. Ye payback? Yeah,
Speaker 1: pay back some mother a little payback. Yeah. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: now every time I get copy now to read, I will.
Speaker 1: I will go over it myself. I will read every
Speaker 1: detail I can possibly read on the copy before I
Speaker 1: start reading said copy. So I got mail, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: got mail. Check my mail too, because they send these
Speaker 1: emails datings with the yeah you don't like to read emails? No, No.
Speaker 1: In fact, I used to check the company email. I've
Speaker 1: told bosses that fox this. I used to check the
Speaker 1: company email all the time, and then for some reason
Speaker 1: I stopped checking it. In January January of oh nine,
Speaker 1: January twenties I stopped checking it. Uh and I I
Speaker 1: never looked back. And no, the bosses at Fox notice
Speaker 1: send me anything really important. They have to send to
Speaker 1: my personal email because I do not check the company email.
Speaker 1: I have to go on there like twice a year
Speaker 1: because I have to do some training for I heart.
Speaker 1: You know, you have to do that FCC training stuff that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that way you don't sexually harass the staff. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: don't don't sexually ask. And also no payola. We're not allowed, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: to get so those I'll get those emails. They'll be like,
Speaker 1: hey you got I'll click on that and um, yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's the Nike Nike Nike. By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: wearing some brand new Nikes that I really like Raid.
Speaker 1: Yeah is that? Is that right? Is that? I'm just kidding?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna go full Rob Parker? You know Rob
Speaker 1: loves loves Nikes. I slapped the Fox logo on some Nike. Uh.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but Rob, I love him. I don't you
Speaker 1: think he's paying full price for the Nikes. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: thinking he's got a deal. He knows somebody, right. My
Speaker 1: favorite part with Rob when we walked into our green room,
Speaker 1: or is it a greener. I guess it's a blue
Speaker 1: room at Fox Sports Radio. The kitchen, the Smurf kitchen, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Smurf kitchen. And he had the actual racks of clothing. Yes,
Speaker 1: he had a full wardrobe of Fox Sports Radio merchandise
Speaker 1: ready to go. The blue kitchen. Remember somebody put a
Speaker 1: sign on top of it kind of google around. It
Speaker 1: was fun. Um, Yeah, that was That was pretty good.
Speaker 1: Rob's hustling. Man. I love. We've got Rob on the
Speaker 1: podcast several times. I was always hosted. I last time
Speaker 1: he was on the podcast was during the the World
Speaker 1: Series and he told the story about he flew to
Speaker 1: Atlanta and he flew Spirit Airlines. It's a great story.
Speaker 1: And he Spirit Airlines charges for everything. I think they
Speaker 1: charge if you breathe when you fly on the Spirit
Speaker 1: per breath you take and per heartbeat and all that.
Speaker 1: And so Rob found a work around. He got the
Speaker 1: cheapest flight he could to Atlanta, and he spent like
Speaker 1: a hundred bucks around trip or some ridiculous amount of money.
Speaker 1: And but he saved the money on the carry on.
Speaker 1: He brought no clothes. He just brought like a bag.
Speaker 1: I guess he was allowed to bring his computer, and
Speaker 1: that was it. And then when he got to Atlanta,
Speaker 1: he just went to like a Ross Dress for Less
Speaker 1: type store and bought so a couple of shirts and
Speaker 1: a couple of pairs of pants to wear for the weekend.
Speaker 1: And then when he when he left, he couldn't bring
Speaker 1: the clothes back, so he just left him in the hotel.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. That's such a I'm a tight wad, but
Speaker 1: that's like next level. That's like, yeah, yeah, no, wonder
Speaker 1: the two of you get along so well, oh yeah
Speaker 1: we do. In fact, I've never told this story. I
Speaker 1: happened last weekend after the Rams got pole axed against
Speaker 1: the Green Bay Packers and Matthew Stafford through another interception
Speaker 1: that was returned for a touchdown, Rob text me and
Speaker 1: he's like, what do you think of Staffy? And we're
Speaker 1: going back and forth on Stafford. He's advising me that
Speaker 1: I must I must jump ship on Matthew Stafford. He's
Speaker 1: giving me the whole rap about that Bamford. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: just going through the whole thing, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm coming back. I'm like, no, I'm okay, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna gonna ride this thing out. It's just
Speaker 1: a slump. We all go through slumps, right, Danny, you know,
Speaker 1: looking to see here? Nothing to see here? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's like the first eight games. Matthew Stafford was
Speaker 1: fine and he beat Tom Brady and Russell Wilson in
Speaker 1: the first eight games, and then now he's gone through
Speaker 1: a tough patch. But the good news is that they
Speaker 1: play Jacksonville tomorrow and so that now, if if they
Speaker 1: lose to Jacksonville at that point eighty, then uh, then
Speaker 1: I'm gone. I'm out, and uh I will not I
Speaker 1: will not look back. Okay, I will say bye bye.
Speaker 1: I will pack it in for the year and put
Speaker 1: Mallard Raiders hat back on the greatness of the Raiders.
Speaker 1: But for the Rams, it'll be yeah, not not good,
Speaker 1: not good, uh for sure. But what's going on with you, Danny?
Speaker 1: What have you been up to? We have not caught up.
Speaker 1: And we did text a few times to work out
Speaker 1: some logistical things for the podcast, and you were very
Speaker 1: good at that, hard working lining up people for the podcast,
Speaker 1: which I appreciate. Yeah. I love chasing guests down, you know,
Speaker 1: with Clay Travis, that was one of the main things
Speaker 1: that I did. Whether it was a guy who was
Speaker 1: national on all the news programs because he saved his
Speaker 1: little dog from the grip of an alligator's teeth while
Speaker 1: he kept his cigar in his mouth. There would be
Speaker 1: stories like that where Clay would be like, I want
Speaker 1: that guy on the show, get him on the show.
Speaker 1: And I would track the guy down and get him
Speaker 1: on the show. And I really love to hunt though,
Speaker 1: because it would be fun actually calling the TV and
Speaker 1: newspapers you know that put out the stories on whoever
Speaker 1: was in the news, and then you have to schmooze
Speaker 1: these people to get the information on said party. And
Speaker 1: then once you finally have that, then you have to
Speaker 1: schmooze the person that's in the news to get them
Speaker 1: on your program. Yeah. No, it's it's the chase, right,
Speaker 1: It's just like dating Chase. Yes, that's a lot of
Speaker 1: guy loved the chase. And then when you actually find someone,
Speaker 1: you're like get old board. You're like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I found somebody, and I want to I want to
Speaker 1: go back and Chase. I want to be out in
Speaker 1: the in the jungle out there. Yeah, the chase was
Speaker 1: really cool, though it would take days. Some guests it
Speaker 1: would take weeks, like he wanted Carol Baskin on, and
Speaker 1: you know, because she was on Dancing with the Stars
Speaker 1: and he got a kick out of that. And I said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get in touch with her. So I did.
Speaker 1: I found an email for her, and as you can imagine,
Speaker 1: she was really um. She doesn't trust many people, and
Speaker 1: yeah she was gun shy. Gun shines the white right
Speaker 1: way to put it. Uh. So I had to ben,
Speaker 1: I had to become a friend. I emailed back and
Speaker 1: forth with her for like two weeks. By the time
Speaker 1: the whole process was over and I booked her for
Speaker 1: the show, we were texting each other like we were buddies. Nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she has to do it. She has pictures of my
Speaker 1: cat Mac Carol Baskin. As we go out, one positive
Speaker 1: is at least you've got a catch phrase, Danny g
Speaker 1: who set this up. I appreciate you coming on. Would
Speaker 1: like for you to say, hey are you cool cats
Speaker 1: and kittens? As we as we had out. Actually I
Speaker 1: should have started with hey are you cool cats and kittens?
Speaker 1: Isn't she's suing Netflix of over the new Tiger King
Speaker 1: thing that's out or is it out yet or is
Speaker 1: it coming out? It is out? Yeah, I was gonna
Speaker 1: tell you got to watch that on Netflix. I'm a
Speaker 1: couple of episodes in Okay. Obviously can get her book,
Speaker 1: but I I really don't think she's gonna talk to
Speaker 1: anybody anymore, not with a pending lawsuit I had. I
Speaker 1: had an in with the guy through some friends of mine,
Speaker 1: the guy suing the Angels. I think the lawsuit was
Speaker 1: kicked out, but it's really been refiled. There was a
Speaker 1: the guy that paid the price. He was the clubhouse
Speaker 1: guy for the Angels that was rubbing up the baseballs
Speaker 1: and and and helping the pictures with Sticky the tack,
Speaker 1: the special that wasn't even spo it wasn't Spider Tach.
Speaker 1: It was some special goo he had come up with
Speaker 1: with with the Angels years ago. And he was like,
Speaker 1: all these star players were, you know, turning to him
Speaker 1: to get the stuff. And then when Baseball decided to
Speaker 1: crack down on the Google, they fired him. They got
Speaker 1: rid of this guy, and uh, we were gonna have
Speaker 1: him on and then it didn't. The lawyers got in
Speaker 1: a way because there's appending a legal system, a legal situation,
Speaker 1: so he couldn't. It's hard to book a fall guy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that guy was the toy. I mean, I I remember
Speaker 1: I covered the Angels a lot like way back like
Speaker 1: in the Stone Age, and this cat was out there
Speaker 1: back then and everyone loved him. And this is back
Speaker 1: in the nineties and so, and he just got let
Speaker 1: go a couple of years ago. He was beloved, and
Speaker 1: we actually saw there were some guys that played in
Speaker 1: that era Whilely Joiner and a few other people that
Speaker 1: came out defending the guy and went against major League Baseball,
Speaker 1: which was which was rare usually want to break the
Speaker 1: code or whatever, but some guys did that back in
Speaker 1: the day. So what's really interesting about Carol Baskin in
Speaker 1: her story is that there have been some documents that
Speaker 1: have come to light that are showing that maybe her
Speaker 1: ex husband is alive in Costa Rica. This murderous, cat
Speaker 1: loving woman that everybody likes to just assume did something
Speaker 1: really bad. Uh, there's some other thoughts out there now that, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe that dude's alive in Costa Rica living a secret life.
Speaker 1: Because the second season has shown her ex husband was
Speaker 1: kind of a shady guy. It looks like there's so
Speaker 1: many layers to that story. Man, they could have probably
Speaker 1: four seasons of that show. Yeah, I know the alternative reality.
Speaker 1: That's where I would go Costa Rica if I needed
Speaker 1: to go. I've heard it's beautiful. I used to have
Speaker 1: guys that were fans of the show that ran illegal
Speaker 1: sports books in Costa Rica, and they were pen pals
Speaker 1: of mine. And you know that's where Tupac went. Oh,
Speaker 1: I see he's living. Is that where he's is Elvis?
Speaker 1: Elvis is getting old? But is Elvis down there too?
Speaker 1: His corpse maybe? But maybe his corpse. I thought he
Speaker 1: was working at a fast food place in Louisville Elvis,
Speaker 1: And that was when I was a kid. That was
Speaker 1: the rumor that Elvis was still alive. And Park is
Speaker 1: alive and well though he's definitely taking people's scuba diving,
Speaker 1: is he. Have you been to Costa Rica. I've never
Speaker 1: been to Costa I have not. You know, anywhere where
Speaker 1: you need a net over your body because of the bugs.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound fun to me. Most of South America,
Speaker 1: from what I've heard, the bugs are bigger and uh,
Speaker 1: certainly in the tropical places. Yeah. I have family lives
Speaker 1: in Florida, and depending on what part of Florida you're
Speaker 1: in at the time of the year. I mean it's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's like I see these people living in and that's
Speaker 1: just Florida, but like South Carolina and parts of Jordan.
Speaker 1: These alligators wandering around. You're living with dinosaurs. Yeah, it's crazy,
Speaker 1: freaking Dinosas I know, there's bears and stuff like that
Speaker 1: where we live, and a little small bobcats and whatnot,
Speaker 1: but still crocodiles. Kidding me. I got one other good
Speaker 1: story for you from this past week. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: besides radio, the only other job I've ever done has
Speaker 1: been in education side hustle right now with the school district,
Speaker 1: and I'm directing a group of kids after school, which
Speaker 1: has been interesting. It's something that I took a five
Speaker 1: or six year hiatus from. But they're desperate, Like these
Speaker 1: school districts, they need really good qualified people. When I
Speaker 1: moved to this area a couple of months ago, I
Speaker 1: applied for some of the job openings because I have
Speaker 1: some free time. They offered a really good wage, so
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna do that and balance it
Speaker 1: with all of my radio stuff. So I've been going
Speaker 1: in and kicking butt there at the school. There was
Speaker 1: a kid on Thursday been. Have you ever had a
Speaker 1: really bad nosebleed? Uh? I have. I've had a few
Speaker 1: of them. I haven't had one in years. Uh. Last
Speaker 1: time I got one, I was actually with Tom Looney
Speaker 1: in Vegas and I got it from the dry the hotel,
Speaker 1: the dry air in Vegas and all that, and it
Speaker 1: was a it was the worst one I've had. Like
Speaker 1: it was like really hot red blood all over the plane.
Speaker 1: I had to use a napkin, one of those nice napkins,
Speaker 1: cloth napkin to try to stop the But it's been
Speaker 1: a long time. So so a kid, Uh, a kid,
Speaker 1: did you get punched or did it just randomly start bleeding?
Speaker 1: Enter Liam, the nosebleeder. It just randomly started gushing. And
Speaker 1: you're right when it's really bad. It's a maroon color. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's terrible. It's the worst. So this kid has bloody
Speaker 1: tissues in both hands, blood on his hands. He's about
Speaker 1: putting his hands on the classroom wall. No, No, it's
Speaker 1: like a crime scene, it did, you know? And of
Speaker 1: course in these COVID days now I'm extra cautious because
Speaker 1: the other kids are looking at him just terrified. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, Liam, put those tissues in your pocket,
Speaker 1: Please get some new ones. So I did the one
Speaker 1: thing that a really good educator is trained to do.
Speaker 1: I walked him to the office and made them deal
Speaker 1: with it. Hey, I got a bleeder. I got a
Speaker 1: bleeder on Aisle three. Leader coming in hot boy. That's
Speaker 1: uh so it just randomly just starts bleeding and you
Speaker 1: just you're just like boom, just like that man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's the exciting part about working in education. You
Speaker 1: have things like that come up every day. One of
Speaker 1: the reasons why parents love to dump their kids off
Speaker 1: at school. Yeah, and then you have to be perfect also, Danny,
Speaker 1: if you make one mistake, the parents will want to
Speaker 1: ring your neck if you make one. But are they
Speaker 1: are the kids receptive? You said you're doing it like
Speaker 1: an after school type thing. Is that? Yeah? So to
Speaker 1: enter into the school district and into their union, I
Speaker 1: am starting as a director for their after school program.
Speaker 1: It requires your attention on individual kids and then big
Speaker 1: groups of kids. But it's been fun because, really, besides
Speaker 1: the in classroom stuff and working on homework with them
Speaker 1: and all that, we go up to what they call
Speaker 1: the big field. And we've been doing big two hand
Speaker 1: touched football games, basketball games. I did a big whiffleball
Speaker 1: game on Friday. Yeah, and other kids receptive because I
Speaker 1: remember when I was in school and every once in
Speaker 1: a while I had to go to the after school
Speaker 1: and there were sometimes I was the asshole, and other
Speaker 1: times there were other kids that didn't want to be
Speaker 1: there and would just relentlessly bust the balls of whoever
Speaker 1: was watching over us kids. So you get any of
Speaker 1: that action, any of the smart ass kids that are like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with your bull crap. Who
Speaker 1: are you? Yeah, it's interesting you say that or asked
Speaker 1: that because half the week I'm with kindergarteners. Well, the
Speaker 1: other half of the week, though, I'm with seventh graders.
Speaker 1: Oh man, the spectrum from K to seven. There are
Speaker 1: some big time a holes in that seventh grade classroom,
Speaker 1: but there's also some cool kids that, you know, like
Speaker 1: what I've been bringing to the table because I've I've
Speaker 1: brought like lots of competitive games and different things, and
Speaker 1: I have a reward system going where I'm basically bribing
Speaker 1: them legally with candy and chips and yeah, and like
Speaker 1: David Busters tight style games and tickets, which has been
Speaker 1: really effective for the seventh graders, but for the kindergarteners
Speaker 1: it's a whole different story because you can only give
Speaker 1: them stickers. And one of the kindergarteners told me last week,
Speaker 1: I don't want your stupid sticker. He said it exactly
Speaker 1: like that, I don't want your stupid sticker. At will
Speaker 1: grow up to run a fortune at some Yeah. And
Speaker 1: so I was like, okay, uh, you don't have to
Speaker 1: have my stupid sticker. And one of the other kids
Speaker 1: that overheard his comments said, well, I'll take your stickers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. Opportunistic. They take advantage of a situation.
Speaker 1: You're you're on your way exactly. So, yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have really good stories throughout the rest of the school's session.
Speaker 1: Whenember that before Bill Cosby became a scoundrel, he he
Speaker 1: had a show the Kids Say the Darnedest Things, which
Speaker 1: I think has been remade. He probably wasn't the first
Speaker 1: person to do it. And they just interviewed kids and
Speaker 1: asked him like questions, like regular questions about life, and
Speaker 1: then the answers would be amazing. Oh yeah, dude, these
Speaker 1: are future radio hosts and TV hosts. I mean, I
Speaker 1: sit down at the lunch table with the kindergarteners when
Speaker 1: they get out of school. Because their day is so short,
Speaker 1: we start them with lunch. The stories I hear while
Speaker 1: they're eating their lunch been tremendous stories, especially around the holidays,
Speaker 1: and these kids are telling stories that their parents and
Speaker 1: family members have no idea that they even observed or
Speaker 1: took in because I hear things about their parents and
Speaker 1: and what happened over the holiday. One kid told me, yeah,
Speaker 1: the power went out during Thanksgiving, so we went over
Speaker 1: to mommy's boyfriend's house and my daddy got really mad
Speaker 1: about that. WHOA how about that? I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't talk about that at the lunch table right now
Speaker 1: when it's amazing because kindergarteners. A lot of times at
Speaker 1: that age, people think that they can just gloss over
Speaker 1: them and they're not paying attention. But we know this
Speaker 1: about kids, Ben, they watch everything like a hawk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they that's how they learned right through visual You
Speaker 1: know a lot of what we learn is from just
Speaker 1: repeating what we see and what here, and that's why
Speaker 1: it's so powerful. You gotta keep these kids off that
Speaker 1: internet man at social media stuff as long as you can,
Speaker 1: because it's a it's a rabbit hole, a spready like YouTube.
Speaker 1: You going there, you see all kinds of wild, wild
Speaker 1: and crazy. So all right, So the last the last
Speaker 1: tale I have from the life of Mallord, the files
Speaker 1: of the life or Mallard. Uh the red light flashing.
Speaker 1: So I had more bad luck than last week. I
Speaker 1: had a taryaki sauce situation where the taryak sauce went
Speaker 1: crashing down, uh yet again at the grocery store. So
Speaker 1: the new thing is, I don't really buy the groceries
Speaker 1: to the whole week. It's just if I don't eat
Speaker 1: every day, So the days I eat, or if the
Speaker 1: house needs some food, I'll go out in the morning
Speaker 1: and get some groceries for the day. Right, That's kind
Speaker 1: of my thing. And so I've been doing that whatever
Speaker 1: gets me out of the house. I don't leave the
Speaker 1: house very much. And so this time I made a
Speaker 1: quick stop to pick up some lemonade. Of all things,
Speaker 1: was picking up some lemonade and some water. I was
Speaker 1: breaking my fest. I wasn't even actually buy food for
Speaker 1: the day. We were just taking a break from the
Speaker 1: diet to eat a meal, breaking my fast. So I
Speaker 1: went to pick water and ice cold lemonade. So that
Speaker 1: was the That was the trip. So I stopped by
Speaker 1: the store to pick this stuff up. And there's this
Speaker 1: great Mediterranean restaurant that we go to that I love.
Speaker 1: I I get the chicken schwarma, which is very good.
Speaker 1: I did. I never ate chicken schwarmer, which is just
Speaker 1: like kind of grilled chicken whatever. Not really, I don't
Speaker 1: know how you describe that. You've had chicken swarmer, right,
Speaker 1: It's It's Greek exactly, with a side of rice, and
Speaker 1: it's mildly healthy. And so I'm in in the store.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the lemonade to go with my meal
Speaker 1: and the water, and they don't have this store did
Speaker 1: not have self checkout, which is right away of demotion.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the self checkout. I'm I'm anti social. I
Speaker 1: don't have to talk to anyone. I can go and
Speaker 1: do my thing and leave. So anyway I have to
Speaker 1: I have to wait online. So I'm fourth in line,
Speaker 1: which is a lot to me. It's a lot the
Speaker 1: time of the day I was there, but I figured
Speaker 1: it wouldn't take that long because what I did when
Speaker 1: I get online, Danny's I I look I try to
Speaker 1: measure what everyone has in their cart and figure out
Speaker 1: how long it's gonna take the person to get through
Speaker 1: the stuff. And there's also you kind of way, do
Speaker 1: you want to go to a mail checker or a
Speaker 1: female checker who's gonna talk more you see how they're
Speaker 1: working with their current customer. Yeah, because if they're moving
Speaker 1: slow with that one, you know everything else behind them
Speaker 1: is gonna take forever. Yeah. And I have noticed, like
Speaker 1: some stories like this was not at Trader Joe's, but
Speaker 1: a Trader Joe's, they have trained the checker to quiz
Speaker 1: you on how you're doing uh and so, And I
Speaker 1: hate that, but I like the food at Trader Joe's.
Speaker 1: So I go in there, and my wife says that
Speaker 1: I should come up with my own material and I
Speaker 1: should be proactive and ask them questions before they ask
Speaker 1: me questions, and so maybe I'll I'll start doing this.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so to get to the point, so I'm
Speaker 1: at the store, I'm I'm weighing everything. I'm fourth in line,
Speaker 1: and the couple checking out at the very front of
Speaker 1: the line, so they were the very front of the
Speaker 1: line there. They only had a few items and as
Speaker 1: they are bagging the stuff up, they get the items,
Speaker 1: they're ready to go and scedattle and leave the store.
Speaker 1: And they noticed they get the receipt, and they noticed
Speaker 1: that they were supposed to get the discount. It was
Speaker 1: like seventy cents off and they didn't get it. And
Speaker 1: so this sets off a chain of events where they
Speaker 1: contact they tell the person the teller checking them out
Speaker 1: or whatever you call the person, and then that person
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to fix it. So then they call
Speaker 1: the manager. Well, the manager is not available. So it
Speaker 1: took like five minutes for the manager to come over.
Speaker 1: And and so I'm starting to get a little boiled
Speaker 1: up here. This is over like seventy cents. Finally they
Speaker 1: sort that out, So okay, I'm through that. Next up
Speaker 1: as an older gentleman, and uh, he was kind of
Speaker 1: wearing some religious garb. I don't need to get into
Speaker 1: all that. Good for him, but he's got all he's
Speaker 1: got a few items in his card, and this chap
Speaker 1: goes to pay. For some reason, he wanted to split bill.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Maybe he was buying groceries to somebody. Whatever,
Speaker 1: you want to split. So half the groceries he had
Speaker 1: and then the other half, which is an an inconvenience, right,
Speaker 1: So but the first half fine, he gets the groceries,
Speaker 1: he pays half to build, no problem. Uh, then he
Speaker 1: punches the other groceries come through, and then he punches
Speaker 1: the card in again for the second half, and like
Speaker 1: the red light starts flashing, pulsating right, there's a buzzer
Speaker 1: for it would not go through for the next ten minutes.
Speaker 1: I'm not exaggerating when I say ten minutes. This guy
Speaker 1: kept punching in the e b T card, which is
Speaker 1: I guess the Electronic Benefit Transfer card order. It's for
Speaker 1: if you're down on your luck, you're getting government money.
Speaker 1: He uses EBT card, So he was using this to
Speaker 1: pay for the bill, and there was no money in it,
Speaker 1: but it's he kept repeating it, and he'd used the
Speaker 1: money on the previous half of his rosetrees like for
Speaker 1: the next ten minutes, the guy keeps punching the card
Speaker 1: in the whole thing, it's like groundhog Day, and punches
Speaker 1: the card in. The teller says, sorry, sir, there's no
Speaker 1: money coming through. Rinse wash, repeat, and I am sitting there,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is how long is this gonna continue,
Speaker 1: I I only want lemonade and a ling of water,
Speaker 1: and I want to get out here. And so finally
Speaker 1: the woman who's third online, I'm fourth online. The woman
Speaker 1: who's third online, she gets even more upset than me.
Speaker 1: She's so piste off this lady. She goes into her purse,
Speaker 1: grabs her wallet, grabs a lot of cash and like
Speaker 1: hands it to the teller and says, hey, pet pay,
Speaker 1: get rid of this guy like that. And uh so
Speaker 1: she paid for the guy's bill. And the crazy thing
Speaker 1: Danny's the gentleman, the older gentleman. He kept punching the
Speaker 1: e b T card in. And then finally the guy
Speaker 1: that was checking out doing the grocer, okay, sir, it worked.
Speaker 1: Let him. I think the guy fix that finally worked
Speaker 1: the seventieth time or the sixty fifth time, whatever it was,
Speaker 1: he punched punched his EBT card in. So there you go.
Speaker 1: Fun fun at the grocery store. Good times, wonderful times.
Speaker 1: Under appreciated job the cashiers there at grocery stores, because
Speaker 1: I would want to punch somebody in the Adams Apple. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I would be pretty good at the grocery.
Speaker 1: I think I put stuff on the shelves. I think
Speaker 1: I'd be good at stocking the grocery store. I don't
Speaker 1: think I can hear. Like if you think of like
Speaker 1: hard job, like fast food, rush hour, fast food insane. Uh.
Speaker 1: And you know we've talked about that. I had Alex Tysheron.
Speaker 1: He worked at In and Out Burger, In and Out
Speaker 1: Burger at afternoon or even late night when people want
Speaker 1: their their burger and their fries animal style to madhouse
Speaker 1: in those places. Yeah, I think about that when I
Speaker 1: go to Starbucks once in a while, because the lines
Speaker 1: are so long there and people are in such a hurry.
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, I would be messing up the coffee
Speaker 1: orders left and right. Yeah, and how many different I'm
Speaker 1: not a coffee drinker, as you know, Danny, It's one
Speaker 1: of my great things. I don't drink coffee. I've never
Speaker 1: had a cup of coffee. I've smelled coffee and that's fine. Uh.
Speaker 1: But how many different coffees the Starbucks sell. There's a lot,
Speaker 1: but the one the location nearest me, they're out of
Speaker 1: half their menu every day or Yeah, I've gone there.
Speaker 1: In fact, that was there a few days ago in
Speaker 1: between classes. The two food items I tried to order
Speaker 1: back to back, Oh, sorry, we're out of that, and
Speaker 1: for the coffee up, we're out of that kind of milk.
Speaker 1: So I wound up paying ten dollars for something I
Speaker 1: didn't even want. That sucks. Yeah, supply chain issues. It's
Speaker 1: off the coast of California in a boat now, the
Speaker 1: l a harbor there. It's that's what the girl was
Speaker 1: trying to blame it on. And I looked at her
Speaker 1: and I said, actually, I blame you, and said it
Speaker 1: with a straight face, and she didn't even realize I
Speaker 1: was joking. That's funny. Yeah, I go, my wife goes
Speaker 1: to Starbucks and she'll get me that. I like that
Speaker 1: peach lemonade thing. And I don't even really like peaches,
Speaker 1: but I like the taste of the peach lemonade. It's
Speaker 1: really I was standing, all right, we will put the
Speaker 1: baby to bed here, Danny, and we get to know, Now,
Speaker 1: what's a just a five dollar Starbucks card? Well? Yeah,
Speaker 1: for the for the well, my wife would love it
Speaker 1: more than she gets all the different coffees. I bet
Speaker 1: you there's only even though Starbucks has It's kind of
Speaker 1: like my my theory on Deli's. You've ever been. You've
Speaker 1: been to Canters in l A, Which is right, you've been.
Speaker 1: It's got a million items open twenty four hours a day,
Speaker 1: but I bet you people only order a select, finite
Speaker 1: amount of items at the deli, just like at Starbucks.
Speaker 1: I have a million different coffees, and I bet you
Speaker 1: eighty five nine of the orders are pretty much the
Speaker 1: same within a span of like five to ten coffee.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the television channel thing where people
Speaker 1: have a million TV channels back in the day when
Speaker 1: they have satellite and they only watch like thirteen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, how many websites do you go to? You
Speaker 1: probably don't go to that, man, there's a billion websites,
Speaker 1: but you probably have a few that you'll check out.
Speaker 1: So it's same same concept. Anyway, have a great rest
Speaker 1: of your Saturday, and if you have not liked the podcast,
Speaker 1: please do that right now, Tell a friend, Tell a friend,
Speaker 1: And I'm on cameo as well if you want to
Speaker 1: personalize cameo. Holidays are coming up. I can't think of
Speaker 1: a worse present than a cameo from me, can you Danny?
Speaker 1: My God, what a horrible present that would be. But
Speaker 1: if you want one, Uh, if you know somebody that's
Speaker 1: a big fans, super fan of the show, cameo dot com.
Speaker 1: Ben Mallard on there and it's not free, but it's
Speaker 1: not much money and I don't I'm not raised my
Speaker 1: rate in a while. Anyway, have a great day. We'll
Speaker 1: talk to you next time.