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Speaker 1: Pushkin. It will come as no surprise to you that

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Speaker 1: I totally welcome the increased attention we're paying to the

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Speaker 1: subject of happiness and mental health these days. But happiness

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Speaker 1: and the desire to be happier aren't just modern preoccupations,

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Speaker 1: and that means that centuries of smart people before us

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Speaker 1: have grappled with this challenge, and a lot of the

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Speaker 1: conclusions they reached are worthy of exploring in more detail.

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Speaker 1: If you're a fan of the Happiness Lab, you know

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Speaker 1: that we've already talked about what the ancient Greeks, Romans

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Speaker 1: and Buddhists can teach us about improving our daily lives.

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Speaker 1: But there's still so much more to learn from the past,

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Speaker 1: and so in this new mini season of the Happiness Lab,

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Speaker 1: we'll see what age old philosophies and religions got right.

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Speaker 1: We'll learn more about the old school tips that are

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Speaker 1: borne out by the science. So welcome once again to

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Speaker 1: happiness Lessons of the Ancient with me, Doctor Laurie Santos. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing that at least some of you are pretty

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Speaker 1: familiar with the Torah, those first five books of the

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Speaker 1: Hebrew Bible. Some of you may have even read parts

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Speaker 1: of this text as a child, think plagues of frogs

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Speaker 1: burning bushes and six hundred year old men building arcs

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Speaker 1: to save the creatures of the earth. But it's important

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Speaker 1: not to let these extraordinary adventure stories overshadowed human lessons

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Speaker 1: contained within the text. To be honest, I didn't even

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Speaker 1: know what I was missing until I picked up a

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Speaker 1: book by Sarah Hurwitz called You're All Along, Finding meaning, spirituality,

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Speaker 1: and a deeper connection to life in Judaism after finally

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Speaker 1: choosing to look there. Sarah and I have a lot

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Speaker 1: in common. Her family comes from my hometown. I really

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Speaker 1: I that's a lot of I am into Bedford like

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Speaker 1: I have very fond memories, and we attended the same

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Speaker 1: college around the same time. You remember at Harvard there

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Speaker 1: was an the class I don't even remember who taught it.

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Speaker 1: After college, Sarah's career took her to DC and then

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Speaker 1: the White House, where she became chief speech writer her

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Speaker 1: first Lady, Michelle Obama, And it was only then that

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Speaker 1: she started to reappraise what the Torah and Judaism were

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Speaker 1: generally had to teach her, because as a child, Sarah

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Speaker 1: wasn't really feeling the whole religious thing Judaism for me

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Speaker 1: was like two kind of long, incomprehensible services at the

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Speaker 1: major Jewish holidays of Roshishanna and jung Kipor. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I went to Hebrew school, but like a lot of

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Speaker 1: kids going to religious school as a kid, I didn't

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Speaker 1: really love it. You know, it was extra school after

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Speaker 1: normal school. I kind of resented that. And one day

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Speaker 1: in sixth grade, after you know, some of my classmates

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Speaker 1: had been mean to me, I was like, that's it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just done. I don't want to do this anymore.

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Speaker 1: And so I went home that night and I gave

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Speaker 1: my mom this totally made up, in passioned speech about

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Speaker 1: how this Hebrew school wasn't honoring my true understanding of

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Speaker 1: Judaism and it wasn't giving me the education I really needed.

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Speaker 1: I mean, just all this, I don't even I don't

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Speaker 1: know what possessed me, like only a eleven year old

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Speaker 1: good thing to do. That's my mother, bless her heart,

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Speaker 1: you know. She finds me another Hebrew school which only

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Speaker 1: meets once a week, but it's this long drive and

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Speaker 1: it's not it's not a very high quality Hebrew school.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't really learn much after that, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I had about Mitzvah, but it was very loosely based

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Speaker 1: on Judaism, and that was kind of it. You know.

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Speaker 1: After that, I thought, Okay, I'm a cultural Jew, I'm

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Speaker 1: Jewish by heritage, but if I want meaning or spiritual connection,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'll just have to look elsewhere. This doesn't

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Speaker 1: sound like, you know, the great origin stories of someone

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Speaker 1: who's going to write a book about finding meeting and Judaism.

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Speaker 1: You know, so really, what was the transition there? Yeah, So,

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Speaker 1: twenty five years later, at the age of thirty six,

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Speaker 1: I broke up with a guy I was dating. I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of time on my hands and was

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Speaker 1: kind of bored and lonely. I happened to hear about

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Speaker 1: an intrud to Judaism class, and I signed up just thinking, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I should learn something about Judaism. You know, I'm Jewish,

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Speaker 1: I should know my heritage. And I have to say

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Speaker 1: I was blown away by what I discovered in that class.

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Speaker 1: It was fourth thousand years of crowdsource wisdom from millions

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Speaker 1: and millions of people who are basically pooling their very

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Speaker 1: best wisdom on how to live a meaningful life, how

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Speaker 1: to be a good person, how to cope with life's challenges,

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Speaker 1: how to find joy, how to find spiritual connection. And

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Speaker 1: I just could not get over how relevant all this

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Speaker 1: ancient wisdom was to my modern life. So let's do

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Speaker 1: the kind of quiff notes version of Judaism, which I

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Speaker 1: realize is impossible in like a short podcast. But you know,

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Speaker 1: just like starting with the history for those that aren't

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Speaker 1: familiar with it, Like, you know, what is the Torah

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Speaker 1: for example, you know, talking, yes, great question. So the

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Speaker 1: Tora is basically the first five books of what Christians

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Speaker 1: refer to as the Old Testament. Jews call it the Tanah,

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Speaker 1: or you might hear it called, you know, the Hebrew Bible.

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Speaker 1: So it's those first five books and it's basically, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's basically the story of Oh gosh, it's such a complaint,

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Speaker 1: it's so complicated. But you know, if I were really

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Speaker 1: fast forward, it's sort of the story of a family

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Speaker 1: which eventually becomes a nation and you know, becomes enslaved

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Speaker 1: in Egypt. And then it's a story of this God

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Speaker 1: who rescues these these Israelites, these Jewish slaves from Egypt,

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Speaker 1: you know, assembles them at the base of a mountain,

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Speaker 1: Mount Sinai and basically gives them a mission, and the

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Speaker 1: mission is to build a society that is the exact

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Speaker 1: opposite of Egypt, a society that rejects all of these

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Speaker 1: old power structures that value kings and emperors and pharaohs,

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Speaker 1: but that instead really focuses on the most vulnerable, the widow,

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Speaker 1: the orphan, the stranger, the poor. And you know, it's

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Speaker 1: this mission to create this society that's the opposite of Egypt,

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Speaker 1: and that's sort of the and it's really it's a

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Speaker 1: presentation of a covenant to the Israelites, and they have

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Speaker 1: to choose right. This is this is a partnership between

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Speaker 1: God and the Israelites. It is not an order that

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Speaker 1: they are forced to accept. It's a covenant that they

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Speaker 1: willingly choose to accept. So in Judaism, you know, you

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Speaker 1: have a sense of empowerment, of having free will and agency,

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Speaker 1: and there's a real focus less on professing a certain

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Speaker 1: faith and much more on acting in a certain way,

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Speaker 1: in in treating others in a certain way, and living

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Speaker 1: life in a certain way. You know, when you say

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Speaker 1: it like that, it sounds fantastic, but you know, I've

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Speaker 1: I've kind of gone to the Torah, like you know,

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Speaker 1: through the Old Testament, and you sometimes find things there

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Speaker 1: that seem, at least to our modern ears, a little

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Speaker 1: weird or maybe in some cases even disturbing. I mean,

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Speaker 1: did you have that when you kind of got interested

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Speaker 1: in the tour and more? Yeah, I mean you know

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Speaker 1: you read about these miracles, right, the sea's parting, and

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Speaker 1: plagues and this and that. But you know, the Tour

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a historical document, right. This

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Speaker 1: is not like an accurate historical blow blah blow account

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Speaker 1: of ancient people. It is a document that I personally

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Speaker 1: believe was written by people. There are some people who

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Speaker 1: believe that it was written by God. I don't believe that.

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Speaker 1: I think you'll find that most Jews believe that it

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Speaker 1: is a human generated document, and maybe these humans were

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Speaker 1: divinely inspired somehow. But it's not meant to be read

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Speaker 1: as a scientific document or as a historical document. This

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Speaker 1: is a moral document, right. It is articulating a certain

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Speaker 1: moral sensibility that's basically a protest against the values of

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Speaker 1: the ancient Near East, where human life was degraded, where

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Speaker 1: emperors and pharaohs and kings were worshiped and ordinary people

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Speaker 1: were thought to be valueless. You know, this document is

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Speaker 1: saying no, no, no no, no, like this God is not

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Speaker 1: concerned about emperors, pharaohs, and kings. Just the opposite. This

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Speaker 1: God cares about the most vulnerable, the widow, the orphan,

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Speaker 1: the stranger, the poor. So it's articulating a moral sensibility.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, there's a lot of stuff in there that's

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Speaker 1: twenty five hundred years old, right, And I think what

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Speaker 1: a lot of Christians don't really understand is that we

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Speaker 1: didn't stop with the Torah. For the past twenty five

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Speaker 1: hundred years. We have been reinterpreting and reimagining the Torah.

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Speaker 1: You know, you'll notice that Jews don't put each other's

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Speaker 1: eyes out anymore. Right, It's not an eye for an eye,

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Speaker 1: because two thousand years ago ancient rabbis said, oh no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: Eye for an eye means that if you put out

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Speaker 1: someone's eye, you have to compensate them monetarily. That's what

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Speaker 1: that means. And there's a lot of that kind of

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Speaker 1: interpretation over twenty five hundred years. So today you have

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Speaker 1: women serving as rabbis, you have gay people serving as rabbis.

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Speaker 1: We marry gay couples and ninety percent of the Judaism

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Speaker 1: that American Jews practice. It's actually a lot like the Constitution.

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Speaker 1: You know, if you look at the original version of

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Speaker 1: the Constitution, it allowed slavery, women couldn't vote. I mean,

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Speaker 1: very troubling. But over the last two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 1: or so years we've been reinterpreting it. And it's a

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Speaker 1: very similar process in Judaism. And it seems like part

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Speaker 1: of the reinterpreting is really going back to the basic concepts, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, not like the stories of bushes burning and

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Speaker 1: you know, sees being parted and things like that. In

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Speaker 1: your book, you talk about one of those fundamentals being

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Speaker 1: this idea of the three fundamental truths, these three inalienable dignities.

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Speaker 1: What are these dignities? You know, this is based on

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Speaker 1: this core Jewish idea that we're all created in the

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Speaker 1: image of God, and you don't have to believe in

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Speaker 1: any kind of God or higher power to understand the

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Speaker 1: value of that. There are three inalienable dignities. One is

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Speaker 1: that every human being is of infinite worth. You can't

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Speaker 1: put a price on a human life. The second is

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Speaker 1: that we are all equal, No one is more or

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Speaker 1: less valuable than anyone else. And the third is that

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Speaker 1: we are completely unique. There is no one else like us. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The truth is, you might say, like, oh, that sounds

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Speaker 1: so obvious, Sarah, we all believe that. No, we don't,

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Speaker 1: that's not true. We don't believe that, right. Like, think

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Speaker 1: how many times you've walked by someone on the street

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Speaker 1: who said, hey, can you spare a dollar and you said, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, not today, Or you've given the person a

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Speaker 1: dollar and then walked on. If that person had been

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Speaker 1: a celebrity, you know, I guarantee you you would have stopped.

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Speaker 1: You would have wanted to talk to them, get to

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Speaker 1: know them. We don't value people equally. We value people

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Speaker 1: differently based on their status, their net worth, their beauty,

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Speaker 1: their likes, their fame. And so that idea of being

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Speaker 1: created in the image and those three inaliable dignities is

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Speaker 1: quite radical. This is actually gets to something we talk

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Speaker 1: a lot about on the podcast, which is this idea

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Speaker 1: of being more other oriented. It seems like these dignities

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Speaker 1: really are about treating other people in a really important way, right,

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Speaker 1: like focusing on people who need your help, who can't

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Speaker 1: help themselves. And this seems to be real coretentive the

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Speaker 1: Jewish faith too. You are right on. You've just gotten

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Speaker 1: to the exact beating heart of Judaism. I think modern

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Speaker 1: secular law and ethics are very much you do you

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Speaker 1: as long as you don't hurt other people too much.

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Speaker 1: It's about rights and freedoms and what people and things

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Speaker 1: that you are not obligated to do. Jewish law is

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Speaker 1: the opposite. It's very much about what you are obligated

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Speaker 1: to do. And you're exactly right that a lot of

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Speaker 1: those obligations are around how we treat others. And I

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Speaker 1: hear sometimes this old lie that Christianity is a religion

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Speaker 1: of love and Judaism is a religion of law. But

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Speaker 1: if you actually look at Jewish laws, what they're doing

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Speaker 1: is they're actually mandating a very high bar for how

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Speaker 1: you treat other people. It's not just like, oh, give

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Speaker 1: money to the poor. It's like, Okay, how exactly are

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Speaker 1: you going to do that. There's a lot of law

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Speaker 1: around supporting people in a way that doesn't humiliate them,

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Speaker 1: that empowers them. You know, there's even a law that

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Speaker 1: says that if you've loaned money to someone in need

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Speaker 1: and you see them on the street. You should avoid

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Speaker 1: running into them if you know they can't repay you,

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Speaker 1: because to do that would be to embarrass them, right,

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Speaker 1: it would to stress them out. Now that's so specific,

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Speaker 1: like why are you getting that specific? But it's actually

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Speaker 1: saying to you, hey, you need to be constantly thinking

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Speaker 1: about the needs and sensitivities of others and really making

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Speaker 1: sure you act in a way that respects their dignity

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Speaker 1: and their feelings. They're also see to be two concepts

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Speaker 1: that come from the Torah that are related to this, right,

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Speaker 1: this idea of sadaka and hessid. So walk me through

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Speaker 1: these concepts. Yes, so the idea of sadaka, it's often

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Speaker 1: mistranslated as charity, but it actually means justice, and that's

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Speaker 1: our obligation to give financial assistance to those in need.

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Speaker 1: So when you label it as justice, it has a

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Speaker 1: mandatory aspect to it. It's like fair procedures in a courtroom.

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Speaker 1: That's justice. You don't just do that when you're feeling

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Speaker 1: particularly kind or out of the goodness of your heart.

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Speaker 1: It's mandatory. We have to support those who are struggling financially.

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Speaker 1: He said. That means loving kindness, and it's not just

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Speaker 1: about being nice to people, which you mean you should be.

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Speaker 1: It's a little bit deeper than that. It basically it

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Speaker 1: kind of requires your presence to help one who is

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Speaker 1: vulnerable or in need. So a lot of the laws

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Speaker 1: around Hessid have to do with people who are ill

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Speaker 1: or people who are in mourning. You know, when someone

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Speaker 1: is sick. In Judaism, you don't just send them flowers

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Speaker 1: and say, oh, I hope you feel better. You're actually

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Speaker 1: supposed to go and visit them and kind of support them.

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Speaker 1: If someone has just lost someone they love and they're

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Speaker 1: in mourning, you don't just send a tech saying I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: You actually show up for the funeral, for the shiva,

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Speaker 1: which is kind of the morning period after the funeral. However,

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Speaker 1: it is that you can really show up for someone

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Speaker 1: and show your loving presence in a very deep and

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Speaker 1: serious way. And I think this idea of kind of

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Speaker 1: showing up gets to a different misconception I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have about Judaism and the Jewish faith,

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Speaker 1: which is it's just a set of beliefs, right, or

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Speaker 1: it's a set of laws, But this was really a

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Speaker 1: very action based faith. Explain this Jewish concept of to Kunaloum. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So this basically means it's like to repair a broken world.

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Speaker 1: The idea is that there is a lot of brokenness

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Speaker 1: in the world and that it's our obligation as Jews

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Speaker 1: to repair a brokenness that we see. So you are

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Speaker 1: absolutely right, like, this is a very action oriented faith.

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Speaker 1: When another Jew is trying to suss out how religious

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Speaker 1: I am or how observant I am, they don't really

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Speaker 1: ask me, well, how strongly do you believe in God?

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Speaker 1: They want to know what I do? Do I help

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Speaker 1: other people? Right? Do I give sadhaka? Am I part

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Speaker 1: of a community that I support? They're really going to

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Speaker 1: be concerned about the actions LIE perform and less about

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Speaker 1: do I have a particular belief in my head. People

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Speaker 1: will say, well, Judaism isn't just about creed, it's about deed,

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Speaker 1: and that's a little bit of an oversimplification, but that

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Speaker 1: action orientation is very important. And another part of this

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Speaker 1: is this idea that you know, through these actions we

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Speaker 1: can actually get better, which is something else we know

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Speaker 1: from the science. Right, by doing these actions, we can

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Speaker 1: actually like you know, improve our happiness, but also like

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Speaker 1: become a person of stronger character. This is what the

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Speaker 1: faith is all about. Obviously, you know your sense of

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Speaker 1: wanting to be kind will lead you to do kind acts.

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Speaker 1: But Judaism says that, you know what, even if you

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Speaker 1: don't feel like being kind, be kind, you got to

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Speaker 1: go do it. Even if you feel like, gosh, I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like visiting this person who's sick. I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like showing up for that funeral, Judism says, that's okay,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to feel like it, but you got

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Speaker 1: to do it. And the funny thing is, once you

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Speaker 1: do it, it actually can create the feelings. Right once

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Speaker 1: you actually go there, you show up for the funeral

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Speaker 1: and you're supporting someone, you actually do begin to feel

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Speaker 1: in your heart like, oh, this was the right thing

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Speaker 1: to do, I'm so glad you did this. So it's

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Speaker 1: not just that the feeling leads the action, oftentimes is

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Speaker 1: that the action leads to the feeling and you've found

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Speaker 1: the power of this feeling, like firsthand. In your book,

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Speaker 1: you mentioned that you've never regretted doing this these kinds

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Speaker 1: of acts. Right right the time is in my life

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Speaker 1: where I didn't show up for someone, I really regret it,

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Speaker 1: but I've never regretted showing up for someone you know.

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Speaker 1: I look back and there have been moments where I've thought, well,

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Speaker 1: do I know this person well enough to show up

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Speaker 1: for the funeral? Do I know them well enough to

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Speaker 1: visit them when they're sick? And when I've aired on

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Speaker 1: the side of doing it, never regretted it. I've always

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Speaker 1: thought like, oh, so glad I did this so far.

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Speaker 1: Sarah and I have talked a lot about the importance

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Speaker 1: of showing up for others, but being other oriented is

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Speaker 1: just one of the happiness lessons Sarah found in her

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Speaker 1: reappraisal of the Torah. As we'll see after the break,

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Speaker 1: there's much more that Judaism can teach us. The Happiness

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Speaker 1: Lab will be right back. If you're a fan of

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Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab, you probably know that being grateful for

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Speaker 1: the people and things in your life is an important

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Speaker 1: tool in your well being. Kit Counting our blessings and

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Speaker 1: expressing thanks to others improves our resilience, strengthens our social bonds,

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Speaker 1: and makes us more willing to take positive steps to

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Speaker 1: improve our happiness. The science shows it even helps us

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Speaker 1: do things like exercise more and eat better. The problem, though,

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Speaker 1: is that gratitude doesn't always come naturally when we're feeling

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Speaker 1: down or super busy. We're just facing the sorts of

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Speaker 1: challenges that life tends to throw our way. But Sarah

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Speaker 1: Hurwitz has found ancient Judaic wisdom has an answer to

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Speaker 1: this conundrum. It instructs us to start feeling grateful from

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Speaker 1: the second we open our eyes in the morning. Traditionally,

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Speaker 1: the first prayer that a Jew would say, it's a

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Speaker 1: prayer people refer to as moda ai or moda anie,

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Speaker 1: depending on what your gender, and it's basically a prayer

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Speaker 1: where you are thanking God for restoring your life to

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Speaker 1: you sort of loose translation. And the idea was people

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Speaker 1: a long time ago associated sleep with death. They actually

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Speaker 1: kind of were worried that they actually wouldn't wake up

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Speaker 1: in the morning, so that it's this idea that you

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Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and you're alive, and it's

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Speaker 1: just this moment of like thankfulness. It's like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful, I'm alive, and it's pretty amazing that the

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Speaker 1: first word in the morning that you say is moda

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Speaker 1: or moda which is like thankful. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: the thankful comes before the eye, which is ani moda

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Speaker 1: Ani it's like your gratitude comes before self. There's an

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Speaker 1: idea that I am grateful no matter what is happening

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Speaker 1: in my life. I am just grateful to have this life,

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Speaker 1: Like I did nothing to earn this gift of my life.

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Speaker 1: Even if everything is terrible, even if life is a nightmare,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to be grateful for this life that

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Speaker 1: I never did anything to earn. And this is like

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Speaker 1: straight out of the modern happiness platebook, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's so many studies like telling us that gratitude is

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Speaker 1: super important for our happiness, you know, just like paying

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Speaker 1: attention to a few things you're grateful for every day

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Speaker 1: can boost your happiness significantly in as little as two weeks.

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Speaker 1: And this is exactly what you know, the Jewish Face

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Speaker 1: suggests you should do as soon as you wake up, Like,

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Speaker 1: don't waste any time, just like gratitude immediately. It's so

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Speaker 1: funny because I hear people who are like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: have a gratitude journal and this and that, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's great. This was not invented in two thousand and nine, right.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like I'm so happy you've discovered this

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Speaker 1: thing that judaism discovered like thousands of years ago. You know,

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Speaker 1: this is sort of time tested wisdom for what makes

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Speaker 1: for a happy life. And it's not just in the

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Speaker 1: morning that you say this. You're saying prayers of thanks

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Speaker 1: and gratitude throughout the day. Gratitude is actually a key

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Speaker 1: theme of the Jewish liturgy. One of the things you

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Speaker 1: did in your book was you walk through some of

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Speaker 1: these kind of seemingly funny blessings but that really have

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Speaker 1: this powerful root in a grateful emotion. One of them

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Speaker 1: was a kind of a blessing about going to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom or something like that. Judaism has this very rich

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Speaker 1: blessings practice where you basically say a prayer or blessing

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Speaker 1: of thankfulness at so many different points during the day.

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Speaker 1: So you say it. You know, traditional Jews will say

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Speaker 1: before they eat, they'll say a blessing of gratitude for

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Speaker 1: the food. After you go to the bathroom, you will

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Speaker 1: say a blessing just to express thankfulness that your body

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Speaker 1: is working properly. Okay, you can say that's kind of

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Speaker 1: weird and gross, but like, actually it is miraculous when

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Speaker 1: your body is functioning properly. And this is something that

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Speaker 1: people have learned during this era of COVID, Right, we

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Speaker 1: can't take our health and our proper functioning of our

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Speaker 1: bodies for granted. And so Judaism is telling you multiple

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Speaker 1: times throughout the day to stop and just say, how

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Speaker 1: amazing is it that my body works, Like, I'm so

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Speaker 1: thankful for that. It's not just the kind of one

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Speaker 1: time gratitude journal in the morning or at night. It's

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Speaker 1: actually a constant gratitude practice throughout the day. And this

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Speaker 1: idea of recognizing that your body is amazing, the amazingness

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Speaker 1: part that that gets to another happiness practice that we

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Speaker 1: actually haven't talked about that much on the podcast yet,

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Speaker 1: which is this concept of awe, right, like really recognizing

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Speaker 1: the beauty and the amazing things around us. So, from

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Speaker 1: the perspective of Judaism, what is this concept of awe? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there is. You know, if you look at a lot

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Speaker 1: of like the Jewish liturgy, it is trying to cultivate

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Speaker 1: this feeling of awe. You'll see lines about the grandeur

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Speaker 1: of nature, you know, the beauty of the world around us,

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Speaker 1: the sun, the moon, just you know, the coming of

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Speaker 1: the dawn, the coming of dust, just the sense that

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Speaker 1: every day in the world. These beautiful things happen sunrise

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Speaker 1: as sunsets, and they just keep on happy. Right. We

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Speaker 1: do nothing to deserve them, We do nothing to orchestrate them.

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Speaker 1: By Abraham Joshua Heschel, who was an iconic American rabbi,

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Speaker 1: he talks about this idea of radical amazement, where one

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Speaker 1: of the core Jewish sensibilities is to just feel this

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Speaker 1: sense of awe and wonder at the world around us,

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Speaker 1: and not just the big things like the majestic view

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Speaker 1: of the Grand Canyon or whatever, but the small things,

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Speaker 1: right like looking at the plant in my apartment, which

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Speaker 1: you know, through this incredibly intricate process is turning sun

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Speaker 1: into food, and you know it has millions of cells,

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Speaker 1: and it's so intricate and complicated, and that's just one

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Speaker 1: plant in my apartment. If you actually look at the

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Speaker 1: world this way, you would kind of walk around in

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Speaker 1: a constant state of awe. The research shows that this

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Speaker 1: is so important because you know, if we're not paying attention,

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Speaker 1: we can just miss this stuff. We actually have a

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Speaker 1: practice that I do with my students that I'm doing

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Speaker 1: with the high school students I'm teaching right now during

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Speaker 1: COVID where we have them take time to savor something.

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Speaker 1: And during COVID the students said, like save or something.

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Speaker 1: I'm not leaving my house, like you know, what can

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Speaker 1: I really savor? And it's like we'll pick something to

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Speaker 1: savor in your house, you know. And then again it's

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Speaker 1: like you notice like oh my gosh, the plants or

424
00:20:15,156 --> 00:20:16,996
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like a chair, like you know, the

425
00:20:17,356 --> 00:20:20,116
Speaker 1: thousands of years of like you know, modifying this piece

426
00:20:20,116 --> 00:20:21,956
Speaker 1: of wood so I can sit on it and feel comfortable.

427
00:20:21,996 --> 00:20:24,756
Speaker 1: If you take time, you can really notice that there's

428
00:20:24,796 --> 00:20:27,236
Speaker 1: just wonders all around you if you take a time

429
00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:30,356
Speaker 1: to look, it's exactly right. It's this idea of being present,

430
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,916
Speaker 1: like actually being present and noticing, which is known as mindfulness,

431
00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:37,156
Speaker 1: which again is like the super trendy thing that everyone's like, oh,

432
00:20:37,156 --> 00:20:39,836
Speaker 1: this was so invented in two thousand and four. Actually,

433
00:20:40,036 --> 00:20:41,956
Speaker 1: like if you look at Judis, it's kind of one

434
00:20:41,996 --> 00:20:45,516
Speaker 1: big mindfulness practice. We are constantly called to be present

435
00:20:45,796 --> 00:20:49,156
Speaker 1: in your life. We're constantly called to stop notice some

436
00:20:49,236 --> 00:20:51,756
Speaker 1: blessing that you have and expressed thanks for it. So

437
00:20:51,796 --> 00:20:55,116
Speaker 1: you're just being constantly called to stop notice and appreciate

438
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:57,796
Speaker 1: throughout the day, as opposed to what many of us,

439
00:20:57,836 --> 00:21:00,596
Speaker 1: including too often me, do, is that we kind of

440
00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:03,876
Speaker 1: walk through our lives lost in our thoughts, like someone

441
00:21:03,956 --> 00:21:05,956
Speaker 1: is talking to us and we're kind of half listening

442
00:21:06,276 --> 00:21:08,436
Speaker 1: because our mind is wandering into the thing we need

443
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,956
Speaker 1: to do next week or the fight we had yesterday,

444
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,716
Speaker 1: and we're not there. We're actually missing that time with

445
00:21:13,756 --> 00:21:16,156
Speaker 1: our friends. Think about the number of times that you've

446
00:21:16,396 --> 00:21:19,156
Speaker 1: driven somewhere or walked somewhere and you get there and

447
00:21:19,276 --> 00:21:22,476
Speaker 1: you can't remember how you got there right like you

448
00:21:22,556 --> 00:21:23,916
Speaker 1: were it was safe, you weren't. You know, you were

449
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,836
Speaker 1: paying attention while you drove, but you were lost in

450
00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:29,196
Speaker 1: thought and maybe you miss something really amazing along the way.

451
00:21:29,836 --> 00:21:31,956
Speaker 1: I mean, this seems to be this idea of showing up,

452
00:21:32,356 --> 00:21:34,796
Speaker 1: both in terms of showing up other people, showing up

453
00:21:34,796 --> 00:21:36,836
Speaker 1: for your own life, showing up to notice the wonders

454
00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:39,116
Speaker 1: around you. It seems to be part of this ethic

455
00:21:39,156 --> 00:21:41,916
Speaker 1: of non indifference that you talked about in your book. Right,

456
00:21:42,316 --> 00:21:45,596
Speaker 1: this is a phrase by thescrab by name j Danielle Hartman,

457
00:21:45,676 --> 00:21:48,076
Speaker 1: the ethic of non indifference, And this is a really

458
00:21:48,156 --> 00:21:52,036
Speaker 1: core Jewish ethic at its heart, Judea is missing. You

459
00:21:52,076 --> 00:21:55,036
Speaker 1: can't be indifferent to others, right, You actually have to

460
00:21:55,076 --> 00:21:57,956
Speaker 1: care about others. You have to notice others, Like I

461
00:21:57,956 --> 00:21:59,836
Speaker 1: think if you look at the modern American ethic, like

462
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:02,716
Speaker 1: I'm not required to help someone if I see them

463
00:22:02,836 --> 00:22:04,916
Speaker 1: struggling when I drive by them, it's like, oh, not

464
00:22:04,996 --> 00:22:07,356
Speaker 1: my problem, not my problem. I can be indifferent. That's

465
00:22:07,436 --> 00:22:10,596
Speaker 1: perfectly legal, and you know that's fine for secular law,

466
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,716
Speaker 1: but Jewish law says no, Actually, you do need to

467
00:22:13,756 --> 00:22:15,716
Speaker 1: notice the people around you. You actually do need to

468
00:22:15,756 --> 00:22:17,756
Speaker 1: help them out. And that's so important because the research

469
00:22:17,756 --> 00:22:19,676
Speaker 1: shows that when we show up to help other people,

470
00:22:19,836 --> 00:22:21,876
Speaker 1: it doesn't just help the people we're helping. The research

471
00:22:21,916 --> 00:22:25,156
Speaker 1: shows it helps us, Like our happiness gets boosted every

472
00:22:25,156 --> 00:22:27,396
Speaker 1: time we're taking time to pay attention to other people,

473
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,596
Speaker 1: even if we don't realize it at the time. You know,

474
00:22:29,636 --> 00:22:31,516
Speaker 1: I love in your book you kind of admit that,

475
00:22:31,596 --> 00:22:33,876
Speaker 1: like you don't always feel like going to the funeral,

476
00:22:33,956 --> 00:22:36,236
Speaker 1: you don't always feel like helping, but in some ways,

477
00:22:36,316 --> 00:22:38,236
Speaker 1: having a law that forces you to can kind of

478
00:22:38,236 --> 00:22:41,556
Speaker 1: get you there even if the emotions aren't in sync. Yes,

479
00:22:41,796 --> 00:22:44,676
Speaker 1: and you know it's funny what you're saying really makes

480
00:22:44,676 --> 00:22:47,596
Speaker 1: me think of this story about these ancient rabbis. So

481
00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:51,596
Speaker 1: Rabbi A gets sick and Rabbi B shows up, takes

482
00:22:51,676 --> 00:22:55,076
Speaker 1: Rabbi A's hand and heals Rabbi A. Then Rabbi B

483
00:22:55,236 --> 00:22:58,516
Speaker 1: gets sick and Rabbi C shows up, takes Rabbi B's

484
00:22:58,556 --> 00:23:01,116
Speaker 1: hand and heals him. And these ancient rabbis are like,

485
00:23:01,116 --> 00:23:03,436
Speaker 1: wait a second, If Rabbi B could heal Rabbi A,

486
00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:06,236
Speaker 1: why does Rabbi need Rabbi S to show up and

487
00:23:06,276 --> 00:23:08,356
Speaker 1: heal him? And the answer they give is that the

488
00:23:08,396 --> 00:23:11,316
Speaker 1: prisoner cannot get himself out of prison. There's a sense

489
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:13,276
Speaker 1: that when we are stuck in the prison of our

490
00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:17,356
Speaker 1: own sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, we really need someone to

491
00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:20,036
Speaker 1: show up, take our hands and pull us out. And

492
00:23:20,356 --> 00:23:22,476
Speaker 1: we also need to do that for other people. Right.

493
00:23:22,476 --> 00:23:24,436
Speaker 1: I think we're all rabbi be in some way where

494
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,916
Speaker 1: we are trying our best to help all the rabbis

495
00:23:26,956 --> 00:23:29,076
Speaker 1: around us get them out of prison, but we need

496
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,316
Speaker 1: someone to get us out of prison as well. So

497
00:23:31,356 --> 00:23:33,596
Speaker 1: how is engaging in these practices, whether it be about

498
00:23:33,676 --> 00:23:36,436
Speaker 1: kind of non indifference presence, like, how has it really

499
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:39,236
Speaker 1: changed your life so far? It's very much changed my

500
00:23:39,476 --> 00:23:42,556
Speaker 1: sensibility in terms of like how I just walk in

501
00:23:42,596 --> 00:23:44,556
Speaker 1: the world in a daily way. I used to be

502
00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:46,236
Speaker 1: the kind of person who, like, when I had a

503
00:23:46,276 --> 00:23:48,916
Speaker 1: friend going through a struggle, you know, I would try

504
00:23:48,956 --> 00:23:50,676
Speaker 1: to support them, I would try to help them out.

505
00:23:50,716 --> 00:23:53,436
Speaker 1: But I didn't have as much of a sense of

506
00:23:53,836 --> 00:23:57,676
Speaker 1: urgency and obligation around physical presence, you know. Now, like

507
00:23:57,716 --> 00:24:00,196
Speaker 1: when something happens to a friend, I really do try

508
00:24:00,236 --> 00:24:03,076
Speaker 1: to get myself there physically. I think that's important. The

509
00:24:03,116 --> 00:24:05,276
Speaker 1: idea of showing up. I really try to think more

510
00:24:05,276 --> 00:24:07,956
Speaker 1: carefully about that. There's also a lot of Jewish thinking

511
00:24:07,996 --> 00:24:10,316
Speaker 1: around speech and how we use our speech and the

512
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:13,276
Speaker 1: impact or speech has on others. So a lot of

513
00:24:13,316 --> 00:24:17,356
Speaker 1: thinking about gossip, about not shaming other people, which, when

514
00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:19,756
Speaker 1: you think about it, like the whole discourse of social

515
00:24:19,756 --> 00:24:24,276
Speaker 1: media is just endless shame, right, just endless shaming, humiliating

516
00:24:24,316 --> 00:24:26,676
Speaker 1: others and even those of us who aren't nasty on

517
00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:29,276
Speaker 1: social media. Think about the number of times in your

518
00:24:29,316 --> 00:24:31,636
Speaker 1: life when you're debating with someone you want to win,

519
00:24:31,796 --> 00:24:33,956
Speaker 1: and so you kind of kind of embarrass them a

520
00:24:34,036 --> 00:24:36,156
Speaker 1: little bit, you kind of try to make them look bad.

521
00:24:36,436 --> 00:24:39,556
Speaker 1: I'm now so much more conscious of how I do that.

522
00:24:39,756 --> 00:24:42,636
Speaker 1: And let me tell you I still gossip way too much.

523
00:24:42,676 --> 00:24:45,236
Speaker 1: I still shame people. I am not perfect, and that's

524
00:24:45,356 --> 00:24:47,676
Speaker 1: not what it's about. I think more what it's about

525
00:24:47,876 --> 00:24:50,716
Speaker 1: is a number of times now I'm about to send

526
00:24:50,716 --> 00:24:53,556
Speaker 1: an email and I'm like, do I really need to

527
00:24:53,596 --> 00:24:55,876
Speaker 1: share that little piece of gossip? Like is that something

528
00:24:55,916 --> 00:24:58,036
Speaker 1: I should be saying? And I'll just stop or I'll

529
00:24:58,076 --> 00:24:59,996
Speaker 1: be kind of, you know, about to make some point

530
00:25:00,036 --> 00:25:02,196
Speaker 1: to just really take someone down and an argument, and

531
00:25:02,196 --> 00:25:04,916
Speaker 1: I'll think I phrase this in a different way, like

532
00:25:04,996 --> 00:25:06,916
Speaker 1: can I phrase this with a little more kindness and

533
00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,836
Speaker 1: a little bit less shaming. It's really like a lens

534
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:12,436
Speaker 1: through which I now see the world and I get

535
00:25:12,476 --> 00:25:14,876
Speaker 1: things wrong one hundred times a day, but I used

536
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,116
Speaker 1: to do so two hundred times a day. So I

537
00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:19,036
Speaker 1: think it's making me just a little bit better of

538
00:25:19,076 --> 00:25:21,236
Speaker 1: a person. Do you think it's also making you happier?

539
00:25:21,636 --> 00:25:24,156
Speaker 1: I do. I think it's making me so much happier

540
00:25:24,196 --> 00:25:27,716
Speaker 1: because I think that Judaism gives me some sense that

541
00:25:27,836 --> 00:25:31,316
Speaker 1: I am tied to something very very ancient that has

542
00:25:31,356 --> 00:25:34,956
Speaker 1: been passed down from generation to generation to generation for

543
00:25:35,036 --> 00:25:37,716
Speaker 1: so long to make its way to me it's like

544
00:25:37,716 --> 00:25:41,796
Speaker 1: this incredible inheritance that I feel really honored to receive.

545
00:25:42,276 --> 00:25:46,196
Speaker 1: And you know, I think engaging in Judaism it makes

546
00:25:46,236 --> 00:25:48,276
Speaker 1: me feel like my life is not just some random

547
00:25:48,316 --> 00:25:50,556
Speaker 1: accident of faith that has no meaning. You know, I

548
00:25:50,876 --> 00:25:52,996
Speaker 1: have a sense that each of us has a purpose here,

549
00:25:53,156 --> 00:25:55,716
Speaker 1: that each of us has like incredible worth, that each

550
00:25:55,716 --> 00:25:59,076
Speaker 1: of us has a sense of you know, unique creativeness, right,

551
00:25:59,116 --> 00:26:02,116
Speaker 1: whether you think that's by a god or just it's

552
00:26:02,156 --> 00:26:04,876
Speaker 1: just the science that says that we are all completely unique.

553
00:26:04,916 --> 00:26:08,196
Speaker 1: You know. That gives me a sense of purpose and meaning.

554
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,436
Speaker 1: And I also just to have a greater sense of

555
00:26:10,476 --> 00:26:12,516
Speaker 1: gratitude in my life. I have a greater sense of

556
00:26:12,596 --> 00:26:15,596
Speaker 1: awe and wonder where I stop and notice things. I

557
00:26:15,636 --> 00:26:19,476
Speaker 1: think before I kind of became familiar with Judaism, I

558
00:26:19,476 --> 00:26:21,356
Speaker 1: don't know, I just kind of like walks through my days,

559
00:26:21,556 --> 00:26:23,756
Speaker 1: didn't appreciate a lot of things. It was a bit

560
00:26:23,756 --> 00:26:25,756
Speaker 1: of a kind of more of a numb, kind of

561
00:26:25,836 --> 00:26:28,236
Speaker 1: checked out kind of life, sort of a sleepwalking through

562
00:26:28,276 --> 00:26:31,116
Speaker 1: life kind of feeling. And you know, I still feel

563
00:26:31,116 --> 00:26:34,716
Speaker 1: that way sometimes It's not all like you know, radical

564
00:26:34,756 --> 00:26:37,516
Speaker 1: amazement and awe, but I think I have many more

565
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:42,076
Speaker 1: moments of real connectedness, real presence, real joy. I'm so

566
00:26:42,196 --> 00:26:44,236
Speaker 1: thrilled at Sarah was able to give us a whirlwind

567
00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:47,236
Speaker 1: tour of thousands of years of Jewish thought. We've already

568
00:26:47,276 --> 00:26:51,196
Speaker 1: touched on scientifically backed concepts like gratitude, mindfulness, awe and

569
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,236
Speaker 1: even being other oriented. It was a lot to pack in.

570
00:26:54,796 --> 00:26:57,436
Speaker 1: But we're not finished with Sarah or the Torah just yet,

571
00:26:57,716 --> 00:27:00,076
Speaker 1: because in the next episode, we're going to tackle one

572
00:27:00,076 --> 00:27:03,796
Speaker 1: of my favorite happiness tips from Judaism. And this one

573
00:27:03,996 --> 00:27:06,676
Speaker 1: is a biggie. In fact, it's even one of the

574
00:27:06,716 --> 00:27:10,076
Speaker 1: Ten Commandments, but to my shame, it's the commandment that

575
00:27:10,156 --> 00:27:14,116
Speaker 1: I personally am most likely to break, that simple instruction

576
00:27:14,316 --> 00:27:26,436
Speaker 1: to take a day off. The Happiness Lab is co

577
00:27:26,476 --> 00:27:29,516
Speaker 1: written and produced by Ryan Dilley. The show was mastered

578
00:27:29,556 --> 00:27:32,196
Speaker 1: by Evan Viola, and our original music was composed by

579
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:37,516
Speaker 1: Zachary Silver. Special thanks to the entire Pushkin crew, including Milavelle,

580
00:27:37,756 --> 00:27:43,036
Speaker 1: Carlie Migliori, Heather Faine, Sophie Crane, mckibbon, Eric Sandler, Jacob Weisberg,

581
00:27:43,276 --> 00:27:46,556
Speaker 1: and my agent, Ben Davis. The Happiness Lab is brought

582
00:27:46,596 --> 00:27:49,756
Speaker 1: to you by Pushkin Industries and Meet Doctor Laurie Santos,