1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: All right, let's do some dating questions. My guy checks 2 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: all the important boxes, but he doesn't ask me deep questions. 3 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: That's because he's a guy. That's because he's a guy. 4 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: Now the question is, is he's selfish? 5 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 2: There. 6 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: I believe in astrology a little bit, and there are 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: some signs that point to selfish and I've checked it out, 8 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that. Obviously, signs are the only 9 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: indication of selfishness. But selfishness is someone who's not asking 10 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: you about yourself at all. Like I was talking to 11 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: Tinks about this, and you could sit on a date 12 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: and go a significant period of time without someone asking 13 00:00:58,720 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: about you. 14 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 2: And I've I had that with my daughter too. 15 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: I dated someone that's really specific in my mind right now, 16 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: and he never asked her about her. He really was 17 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: interested in me, but didn't engage her. Now, it doesn't 18 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: mean he's totally I mean, and I'm putting labels on 19 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: someone you don't know the reason why. This guy, because 20 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: he has some personal issues, is not intentionally selfish. It's 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: just the nature of him being focused on himself. So 22 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: the thing is, with any man or relationship, you have 23 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: to weigh out what's important to you As you get older, 24 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: different things become important to you and also are they 25 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: additive and do they enricher life becomes important And the 26 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: reason that I tell young women to work and at 27 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: financial independence is because you then have the financial freedom 28 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: to exit something if it isn't serving you for reasons 29 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: other than financial reasons. And in some pay in cases, 30 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: someone falls in love with someone else doesn't really think 31 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: about who they are big picture, long term chess game, 32 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: and then they feel trapped and they have to stay 33 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: because they. 34 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 2: Who make the goal make the rules. 35 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: So I would say if it's on the first date, 36 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: someone checks important boxes and doesn't ask the deep questions, 37 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: they could be nervous if it's well into your life. 38 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: I know someone in particularly what I'm thinking of, who 39 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: was in a marriage for years, and I guessed when 40 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 1: they broke up. Even though they had a lifestyle. 41 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 2: You can make. 42 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,079 Speaker 1: A life out of you can make a lifestyle out 43 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: of a life. You can't make a life out of 44 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: a lifestyle. And they had a lifestyle. They traveled, they 45 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 1: did interesting things, but ultimately they didn't connect. They never 46 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: really connect on a deeper level as human beings. If 47 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: we're an evolved creatures, we want to connect on a 48 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: deeper level, and we're starving for it. I know men 49 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: that still want to be with me, who can be 50 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: with young hot women and are with young hot women 51 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: who crave me because yes, I'm a sexual creature and 52 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm good in bed, and I'm good in bed because 53 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: I'm a connected person. I'm a person who knows what 54 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: feels good for someone else from a massage standpoint, from 55 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: an emotional standpoint, from a nurturing standpoint, from an intellectual standpoint, 56 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: from a humor standpoint. 57 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 2: And these guys, some of. 58 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 1: Them get with the hot young girl, and for every 59 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: hot young girl, there's a guy stick at tired of 60 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: fucking them. 61 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 2: That's the expression. 62 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: So the reason I say that is that you want 63 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: to be an interesting person, and you want to be 64 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: with someone interesting because you will become intellectually, emotionally, mentally bored. 65 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 2: And boredom is what. 66 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: Happens at my age with people who feel like they 67 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: lack purpose. 68 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 2: So I know many and I get bored. 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: And I have the biggest, greatest career you could ever 70 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: possibly dream ever imagine. I could do anything I want 71 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: every day and can make ideas happen all day long. 72 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: But I still sometimes get bored because people my age 73 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: get bored because they lack purpose. They're not as relevant, 74 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: they're not as young, they don't have the action, They're 75 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: not as necessary in certain spaces, and not as relevant. 76 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: And you want to be with a partner that's going 77 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: to stimulate you. How to meet other white collar gay 78 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 1: men in New York City? This is going to sound snobby. 79 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if everyone is on apps, but I 80 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 1: think most people are. But you've already thought of that. 81 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: You know that that's not a great answer. I would 82 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: say invest in the right private clubs. If you want 83 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: to meet a white collar wealthy man, that's an investment, 84 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: and you need to join the right bougie clubs that 85 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: will have the. 86 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 2: Right gay men. 87 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: So, depending upon the age, is that the Soho House? 88 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: Is that sam Vecenti Bungalows? Is that Max seems because 89 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: you're going to meet a stubs and wooden loafer person. 90 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: Are you trying to figure out how to get on 91 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: the gay version of Raya? If that exists? I think 92 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: it does exis. I'm sure it does. What is the 93 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: best dating app? Over fifty It depends on what you want. 94 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: Most women want a successful wealthy man. And I would 95 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: say for that, people are liking Hinge and the league 96 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,840 Speaker 1: is good, but you really have to fish the deep 97 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: deep ocean to find like maybe very few good fish, 98 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: but they're there. The fish are there. Bumble is great too, 99 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: for you know the people are there. It's really just 100 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: like a it's. 101 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 2: A numbers game. You have to do the work. 102 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: And you can't just go on too many dates because 103 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: it's like going to a buffet and you'll get full 104 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: and nauseated and not like the things you chose on 105 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: the buffet. 106 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: So you have to be very selective. 107 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: You have to get your plate out and wait and 108 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: walk around and sit if you want your egg white 109 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: onme it made with all the gourmet vegetables, and decide 110 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: what sushi you want in that buffet, because you came 111 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: to that buffet and there's gonna be a lot thrown 112 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: at you, and you better get what you really want 113 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,359 Speaker 1: and make your wise choices, otherwise you're gonna be nauseated 114 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: and you won't want to. 115 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: Go back to the buffet. Big problem. 116 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: You get full and as soon as too soon to 117 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: move in with someone you're dating. I mean, I wouldn't 118 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: put a timeline on it. I would say not when 119 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: you're in the obsession phase, Not when you're in the 120 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: enamored phase, when you're in the realistic phase, when you're 121 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: in the mundane. I'm a little bored of you. Sometimes 122 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: some things you do turn me off. Like we are 123 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: really in the thick of it, Like we've met each 124 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: other's family's parents, We've done the boring, we've traveled together, 125 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: we've done holidays, like do not move in together? Until 126 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 1: you've seen multiple seasons and multiple reasons, multiple occasions, multiple conflicts, 127 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: someone vomiting in a toilet bowl, someone snotting, like someone 128 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: wearing ugly shoes, things that since what not until you've 129 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: seen all the things that would turn you off someone. 130 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: That's when someone's chewing starts to irritate. You know they 131 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: have bad breath and you don't want to vomit. You've 132 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: gotten some version of the ick and you still are there. 133 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: How to handle the success hate from those close to 134 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: you and in the same field of business. If that's 135 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: a dating question and someone close to you is a 136 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: little bit jealous or intimidated, get the fuck out. It's 137 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: not changing, Get the actual fuck out. And if it's 138 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: a marriage, I don't know what to do. You gotta 139 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: help your partner. You're gonna have to dumb it down. 140 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to make your partner feel like they're 141 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: the big, big, strong ox Like it's a fucking nightmare. 142 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 2: I wouldn't even deal with that. 143 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: But if you have kids and you're already married, and 144 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: you you know you've become the moneyed spouse or the 145 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: successful spouse, watch that because they will try to exert 146 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: their power in other ways and it's not good. That's 147 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: how infidelity happens. That's how bro trips happen. Like it's 148 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: just a disaster. That's why I have a text. 149 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 2: On my phone right now. 150 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: If I'm a man who would be playing tennis with 151 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: someone as good or better than I am, And that's 152 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: what I'm looking for. Biggest red flag that isn't obvious, 153 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: Like violence is obviously a red flag? Good question, Okay, 154 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: biggest red flag that isn't obvious. Ah, when someone dims 155 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: your light, you don't notice it right away, but you 156 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: start to find out. And it takes a while to 157 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: get to this place because this is not in the 158 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: honeymoon phase. You start to get to a place where 159 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: you're overcompensating for what you are doing, what you have, 160 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: how you look, and you're trying to make the other 161 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: person feel like the plans that you have without them 162 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: aren't that big of a deal. The career you have 163 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: isn't that big of a deal. The things you're doing 164 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: aren't that exciting. You're trying to like dumb it down, 165 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: dim your own light. Disaster, bad, bad bad. Someone has 166 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: to lift you up, build you up. You have to 167 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: feel like your light is brighter. Someone who's trying to 168 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: make you in any way someone that you're not and 169 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: it's not over it either. It doesn't have to be 170 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: like someone criticizing you, but it's someone letting you know 171 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: that like well that's a little much or it's not 172 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: or it's too much or huh, that's an interesting choice, 173 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: or like sort of like either secretly passively aggressively jealous 174 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: or competitive or trying to tell you what not to weigh. 175 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: That shit is a nightmare. That's a nightmare. Okay, bad 176 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: bad bad flag red flag. Someone's not quite respectful of 177 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: their mother, doesn't really respect women, makes snide comments, makes 178 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: like some version of you know, inappropriate comments has any 179 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: sleeze factor even like a small sleeze comment about something else, 180 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: someone else like that. It's just a red flag someone that, 181 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: like I said, is not that respectful of women in general. 182 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: You might hear it about a friend's wife. It may 183 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: not be about you because you think it's different. Anything 184 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: like that, any like raising of the voice, anything that, 185 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: the way they speak to some the way they speak 186 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: to any staff, any weight staff, any concierge, or anything 187 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: not not not that's a critical critical indicator. How do 188 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 1: you encourage a man who might be a little insecure 189 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: in a way but not feed his ego. All men 190 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: are in all creatures are insecure, So you just be 191 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: confident and positively reinforced when someone does something good. Don't 192 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: give them a cookie because they'll feel emasculated and like 193 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: you really are marginalizing it. 194 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 2: But really make a big deal out of the. 195 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:15,839 Speaker 1: That tastes so good, you're such a good griller, Oh 196 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: my god, wow, Or like you look sexy, you're handsome, 197 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: you're so strong like that type is a positively reinforce. 198 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 1: But don't act like maybe you really are so blah 199 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: blah blah, like not that passag give them a cookie. 200 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:33,200 Speaker 2: Shit, marry the one that loves you more than you 201 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 2: love them. I don't know. Try to make it equal, 202 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: then you're gonna get turned off. And I don't know. 203 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 2: It's a hard one. I guess. 204 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: If you have to choose between the two, yes, but 205 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: I mean I don't like that choice. Let's have an 206 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 1: equal partnership. I feel like men aren't men these days. 207 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: Can you turn a boy into a man. You could 208 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: turn a boy into a man. You could turn a 209 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: player into a nod player. But you better listen to 210 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: this podcast and listen to all the advice on how 211 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: to do it, because it ain't that easy. But you 212 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: d your ground. You do not bluff. You do not 213 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: settle for less than you deserve. You're not you don't grab. 214 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: You're not a beggar. You're not taking scraps. You're not 215 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: allowing bread crumbing. You're not allowing a certain communication style 216 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't work for you. You chase the dog, the dog 217 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: runs away, the dog chases you. You run away. So, yes, 218 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: you could turn a boy to a man, because most 219 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: men are infants, and the ones over fifty or even worse, 220 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: they're barely walking up right. They're like cave humans. It's 221 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: ridiculous because they've just lost every sentilla of ability to 222 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: connect because they've been in marriages that are soulless and 223 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: focused on their careers and their pecks, and they just 224 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: do not know how to communicate. So they're children. They're 225 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: fucking babies. 226 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 2: The middle aged men want middle aged women anymore. It's 227 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 2: ridiculous out here. Yes they do, Yes, they do, Yes, 228 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 2: they do. 229 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: They don't want coming fresh off a divorce, or when 230 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: they've just made. 231 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 2: A lot of money. 232 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 1: You're usually the rebound off of the rebound. Someone gets divorced, 233 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: they go to the young, hot piece, the dumb dumb, 234 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: the knitwidth that listens to them, the opposite of their 235 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: ex wife. Then they're miserable, they're bored. It doesn't make 236 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: any sense. It doesn't fit in with their friends. They 237 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,599 Speaker 1: don't want to bring them on vacations. It's awkward to 238 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: be with someone twenty years younger. We don't listen to 239 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: the same music. You feel older in comparison. You're looking 240 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: at you saggy skin, they're looking at their gray hair. 241 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: They want to get botox. They want the hot young piece, 242 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: but they are aware of the fact that the hot 243 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: young piece is with them because they have some money 244 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: and a retirement plan so they get more insecure, they 245 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: distrust that young person more, and they ultimately will want 246 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: someone that is going to mentally and emotionally stimulate them. 247 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: But do they want a fucking busted up, washed up, miserable, negative, 248 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 1: always complaining, nagging, middle aged wife. They had that already 249 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: apps a fucking litely Not. Do they want someone who's 250 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: young and hot and takes care of themselves and smells 251 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: pretty and is intelligent and has something to bring to 252 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 1: the table and has fucking paid for their own tit 253 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: job and their own dental work. Yes, that's what they 254 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: do want. They want someone they can talk to who's 255 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: an equal and who's attractive, and who's pretty, and who 256 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 1: they're who's in good shape where they're gonna want to 257 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: have sex with, or who's just incredible in bed, or 258 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: who can do the Jedi mind fuck, or who can 259 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 1: give them a run for their money, because they're not 260 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: a little doormat just beggars looking for a chanel bag. 261 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 1: Which is why women need to have their own money. 262 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: Because I know so many blood in the water desperadoes 263 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: that are actually attractive in their fifties, but they're rolling 264 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: up with three to four kids and debt. That is 265 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: not the middle aged woman that a man wants. But 266 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: many of them find men too, So try to set 267 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: yourself up for success. Don't go spend your money on 268 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: Luck's goods. Join Vivrel, one of the bag rental companies 269 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: or one of the clothing rental companies so you don't 270 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: have to spend your money on stupid things and then 271 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 1: have all of this baggage and dead weight and bills 272 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,839 Speaker 1: and be a lot of work that. 273 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 2: A man doesn't want. 274 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: A man doesn't want you to come in with your 275 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: whole Luck's goods program with three kids that he has 276 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: to take care of and sent to camp and try again. 277 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: Okay, what do we got next? Okay? Divorce four years? 278 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,679 Speaker 2: Can't imagine online dating? Is that the only way? 279 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: It is not the only way, but it is the 280 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: most efficient way. Is online shopping for close the only way? No? 281 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 2: But is it the most efficient way? Yes? Can you 282 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 2: bring it and return it? Yes? 283 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: You know. 284 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 2: Does it have a return policy? Yes? 285 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: Do you get to pick what you want online and 286 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: sit there and keep it in the cart and then 287 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: decide if you want to buy it? 288 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 2: Yes? 289 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: So do you get to pick the color, the size, 290 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: the shipping date. Yeah, online dating is an efficient model 291 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: that I talked about before that you want to do wisely, thoughtfully, 292 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: with integrity, quality, not quantity. You do not want to 293 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: be the nit lit that just is going out for 294 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: a free drink or meal. Then you got to talk 295 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 1: to some pig for four hours. That is not You'd 296 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: rather starve, drink, consume, do a juice fast. You don't 297 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: need to go out to date some schmuck and then 298 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: be sick of it and then think and then suck 299 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: and then not want to go again. 300 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 2: You wait. 301 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: You sit there with the bait and the hook, and 302 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: you sit on that dock, and you wait till something 303 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: good comes on the line. 304 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 2: Then you bring it in and cook it. 305 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: You wait for a good, good, big gorgeous fish. Am 306 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: I the problem or to men need to provide safety? 307 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: I get triggered and the trigger them. Everybody needs to 308 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: provide safety. Everybody's insecure. Everybody needs to make the other 309 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: partner feel needed and wanted. Because even the most giving 310 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: of men that just worship their partner and do everything 311 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: for them, that is an imbalance. I'm thinking about someone 312 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: specific on social media. Something is fucked up. I know 313 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: it is it's too much doting and buying and lavishing. 314 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: It doesn't track, and there's something not balanced because everybody 315 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: has needs. Everybody has needs. Men are not cave humans 316 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: with a club ooh and a loincloth. Everyone has needs. 317 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: And it just is about when the timeline is one 318 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: partner could give, give, give, give, give, and then one 319 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: day there are no more branches. It's the giving tree 320 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: and the person who's been giving NonStop and the dynamic 321 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: has been taking non stop. It could be financial. I 322 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: know a woman who was with a very rich man 323 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: kept taking, taking, taking, taking. I used to be like, 324 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: he's noticing, nobody's gonna know. He's noticing nobody's gonna know. 325 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, he's noticing. They all notice you took, took, took, 326 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: And one day the bottom fell out and that was 327 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: the end of it. She lost a rich man. She 328 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 1: played checkers, not chess. Good rich man, good, nice rich man, 329 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: good smart rich man. 330 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 2: Dumb dumb. 331 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: Advice for dating when you both have kids. Hmm, folded 332 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: in slowly you fold it in. This is like the 333 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: cheese on shit, squeak. How do we fold in the cheese? 334 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: How slowly? You do? Not rush it you're in love, 335 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: you're excited. We want to build the family on a blend. 336 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: Been there, done that. It all sounds so good on paper. 337 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: This is gonna be amazing. We both have kids. Yay. 338 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 2: It's a nightmare. Kids hate it. It's going to be disaster. 339 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 1: It's like taking a steak out of a freezer and 340 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 1: deciding to eat it. Don't be an idiot, control yourself. 341 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 2: Wait, but. 342 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: Let your kids know you're dating. Do not walk on 343 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: eggshells with your kids and put them in a precious box. 344 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: I know people who've been divorced for five years and 345 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: they don't bring anyone around their kids. That's sick. They're sick. 346 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: That's their problem. That's letting your kids and the inmates 347 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: run the asylum. No fucking way. My daughter knows I date. 348 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 1: She knows I want to meet someone. She knows what 349 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 1: I'm going on a date. She knows how the date went. 350 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: She meets people, not many, very very few. But if 351 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 1: I've really liked them, she's met. If I've liked them, 352 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: slash could love them, she's met them fairly or early. 353 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 2: Because I don't make a big deal about it. 354 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: Like let's say I was walking in the Hamptons and 355 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: I had gone on a date with a guy and 356 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: he happened to be walking in the Hantons. 357 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was my daughter Brin. Who cares. 358 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: She's fifteen years old, she's not two years old. I'm 359 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: not having someone sleep in my bed in my house 360 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,439 Speaker 1: when she's there. I'm not bringing them on vacation. But like, 361 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: fold it in thoughtfully, but do not wait too long. 362 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 1: If you have a batter and it's been sitting and 363 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: then you try to fold everything, it's not gonna work out. 364 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 1: It's already the baking powder and so it has been activated. 365 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 1: And you give your kids too much power. I don't 366 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 1: believe in that shit at all. Be always open and 367 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,359 Speaker 1: transparent with your kids. Not about sex, not about things, 368 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 1: not about love, not about emotions, not if someone has 369 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: an eating disorder or emotional issues or their anxiety disorder. 370 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: Like no, but just like your mom wants to be happy, 371 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,160 Speaker 1: I want to meet someone. I don't know if it'll happen. 372 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 1: And this is what's happening. And then I met a 373 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: guy named Dan. He seems okay. I'm not sure. Include 374 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: them not the day you break up with their father, 375 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: not two months after, but like at some point we're 376 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 1: gonna have to rip the band aid off. It's like, 377 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: you don't want to have the sex talk with your kids, 378 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: but do you want, you know, to have a baby 379 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: when your daughter is sixteen running around your house? 380 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 2: You want a high school child having a baby. No, 381 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 2: you have a sex talk. You're an adult. 382 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 1: Don't be stupid. Oh where do I go to look 383 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 1: for men? If I'm a homebody. 384 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 2: If you're a. 385 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:06,679 Speaker 1: Homebody, you are an online dating app dreamed. You have 386 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: the time, you have the focus. You will not go 387 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: out unless it's something really meaningful to go out for. 388 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 1: I am an expert on this because I too am insular. 389 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 1: I'm a homebody. If I go out, I'll have a 390 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 1: drink in my bed. I had a marguerite. I was 391 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: so stressed yesterday. I had a margarite and bag of 392 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: chips in my bed. The happiest place on Earth, Disney 393 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: is not the happiest place on Earth. My bed is, 394 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: and not when I'm having sex when I'm alone in it. 395 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,200 Speaker 1: Would you ever date a next after several years broken 396 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: up or never again? Never say never, I definitely would. 397 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: Usually the problems creep right back up. Jaylo and Ben 398 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: Affleck they were in love, they loved each other. It 399 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,919 Speaker 1: was magic. I wanted it to work. You can't go 400 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: home again, baby, I ah answered this before be with 401 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,399 Speaker 1: someone who dislikes their mom and isn't close to her. 402 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: It depends on what her mom's like. Not all moms 403 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 1: are created equal. It depends if it's very distressing. If 404 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 1: this person is very distres respectful, then I probably know. 405 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: But that's not a one size fits all. Thoughts on 406 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 1: boyfriend moving into his parents' home for caretaking purposes. It's 407 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: a very hard one. I understand it. It's admirable. It 408 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 1: means it's a beautiful human being. It means you're gonna 409 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 1: have to find ways to control this. It means you're 410 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: gonna feel like you're a bad person because it's annoying. 411 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 2: It means like you it's something it's across to bear. 412 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: It means when you meet someone, you have to know 413 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: who their family is, because you are ultimately marrying their family. 414 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: If they're close to their family. You're marrying any children 415 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 1: who may have special needs or parents. You're marrying their siblings, 416 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: You're marrying their job, their coworkers, You're marrying a lot 417 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: of different things. Is it possible to be too pretty 418 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: to find a man. No, because there's a seat forever. Yes, 419 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 1: but it's possible that it's hard for a pretty person 420 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 1: to find a man. But it's because you're not focusing 421 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: on your personality. You're focusing on your looks. The fact 422 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: that you even asked that means you're focusing on your looks, 423 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: and you should be focusing on your personality. And you engage, 424 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: and if you know you're so pretty, you'll have to 425 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: find clever, non desperate ways to engage, to make the 426 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: first move without it seeming like you're making the first 427 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: move but then getting an inkling of your flirtation. You'll 428 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: have to find a way. So anything's possible. But I 429 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: don't think that's your problem. How soon do you expect 430 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: a text after a first date that the text went 431 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: very well that night, some check in had a great 432 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: time tonight, if not the next day. If the guy 433 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: doesn't text you the next day's not into you and 434 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 1: or he's an insecure loser, I'm neither or great. You 435 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,200 Speaker 1: could still go out with them again, because you could 436 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: also win. You can always get the ball back. I 437 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: don't like it, though, I don't like it nobody, I 438 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: got time, I want to be nowhere, I stand at 439 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: all times. Two pieces of advice. One get a personality test. 440 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,679 Speaker 1: Take a personality test. This will tell you who you 441 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 1: are in the world, how you deal with things, what 442 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: type of employer you are, what type of person worker, 443 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: et cetera, how you deal with life. Take an attachment 444 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 1: theory test. It will tell you who you are in 445 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,399 Speaker 1: a relationship, how you attach. Are you anxious to attack? Do 446 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: you have a panic attack if someone's not constantly in contact? 447 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: Are you avoidant attachment where you kind of like, if 448 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: it gets close, you get scared. Are you a hybrid? 449 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: Are you healthy attachment? This is all real. This is 450 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: all based on how we attached with our parents as 451 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: a child, and it can be dysfunctional. Even if your 452 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,440 Speaker 1: parents have been together for seventy years, it doesn't mean 453 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 1: everything has to be like a perfect relationship. You could 454 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 1: have parents that never expressed feelings. They just don't believe 455 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: in that. They're just sort of cold but loving and good, 456 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 1: solid parents that have morals and integrity, but they grew 457 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,920 Speaker 1: up in a household where people don't express feelings. That 458 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,679 Speaker 1: could lead to an attachment disorder. You don't know how 459 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: to properly communicate and connect. Someone tells you they love you, 460 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: that's when things get scary. Things get too close to committed, 461 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: That's when things get scary. You run away. Just know 462 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: where you stand and know where someone else stands, so 463 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,239 Speaker 1: you know what you're dealing with. You don't have a 464 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: puzzle that is four pieces missing. It's a very I 465 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: wish I knew any of this as a thirty year old. 466 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: I've learned this all in my fifties a fucking waste, 467 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,639 Speaker 1: but it's not because the truth is I wouldn't have 468 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: wanted to be with someone of my thirties, Honestly, I 469 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: would never. This is like I'm getting at the age 470 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: an hour like this is like we're this is the 471 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 1: person you're gonna spend your whole life with. So it's 472 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: never too late, especially if you're a supermodel not going 473 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 1: on dating apps. How you put yourself out there when 474 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 1: doing hobbies et cetera. Gym classes, clubs, private clubs, learn 475 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: a language, work events, work mixer events like work events, 476 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: work trips, work events, holiday parties, cocktail parties, and talk 477 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: to people. Go out of your way. Don't get a 478 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 1: bad reputation. Don't sleep around. Don't be the one who 479 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: gets too drunk is overserved. Always pay attention to how 480 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: you look. When you're gonna be interacting with other men, 481 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: you have to be some version of social to meet 482 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: someone single, working, parent, three year old, trying to figure 483 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: out how to re enter dating. But I am tired 484 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: do online dating. Set them up as lunches, early drinks, coffee, 485 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,120 Speaker 1: find activities. You will find like minded people. Many men 486 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 1: that I know are slugs. They're boring, they're exhausted, they 487 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: want to go to bed at eight. There are a 488 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: lot of exhausted, boring people. Find yourself another one, or 489 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: someone who's not boring but likes to go to bed early, 490 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 1: that doesn't drink, whatever it is. Someone who doesn't drink 491 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,640 Speaker 1: or do drugs is probably going to be less activating 492 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: as someone who does.