1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: We are not part of the outside world. It's separate 2 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:22,600 Speaker 1: from us. There is no need for the outside world 3 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: because we are removed from it and apart from it, 4 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: and in our own unique sphere. We had our own universe, 5 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: and that's where you would rehearse every day, most of 6 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 1: the time, all the time. There are no windows. We 7 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: don't need windows because the outside world doesn't matter. And 8 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: it was exciting, and I thought everybody was the most 9 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: beautiful cheers on the earth that I'd ever seen. And 10 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: they were so talented. People were trained to hone his 11 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: particular sensibilities, even his ethics, so that there would be 12 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: a readiness in all of us to embody his visions. 13 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: We were christened, we were graced. We may not be 14 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: alive tomorrow. And what could you possibly lose? You literally 15 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: have to know, you have to commit and no, and 16 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: so you give up everything else. It is a two 17 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: seven path and you don't feel like you can do 18 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: anything else. M I used to say, what are you 19 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: looking at? What are you looking at? Dear? You can't 20 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 1: see you, Only I can see you. M In A 21 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: stream of people visited Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan. They went 22 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: to the room at the end of the hall. On 23 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: the left a room with an old man. The nurses 24 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,799 Speaker 1: hadn't seen anything like it. It was like a pilgrimage. 25 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: Many of the visitors were in their twenties. They were 26 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: thin and graceful and carried large bags that smelled like sweat. 27 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: They were young ballerinas who ansd for this man, women 28 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,399 Speaker 1: who saw him as their father, their mother, their knight 29 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: in shining armor, their genius, their lover, their husband, the 30 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: most important person in their lives. His name was George Balanchine, 31 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: but they called him Mr B. I think he'd been 32 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: in the hospital for so long and was losing his 33 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: mind and losing his words. This is Wilhelmina, Frankfurt. She 34 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: was one of the pilgrims. She was twenty six years old, 35 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: and she was a ballerina at New York City Ballet, 36 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world. 37 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: Mr B was the one who put her there at 38 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: George Balanchine was the most famous choreographer alive. He had 39 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: created an entirely new style of ballet and popularized the 40 00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: art form in America for fourteen years. Wilhelmina had danced 41 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: for him for fourteen years. He had been the person 42 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: who determined her fate. He was also one of the 43 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: people she loved most in the world. But now his 44 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:18,919 Speaker 1: health was failing. Where he once modeled arabesques for professional dancers, 45 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: he now had trouble balancing. He leaned on walls when 46 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: he walked, he lad rehearsals seated. He couldn't hear music 47 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: the same way anymore, and he couldn't see the color 48 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: blue correctly. And then he felt he'd been at the 49 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: hospital for more than a month now, with no sign 50 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 1: of returning to his ballet company. It was not a 51 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: happy time for Wilhelmina. I mean, I knew, we all 52 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: knew that once he was gone, things we're gonna change. 53 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: She went to the hospital when she could with groups 54 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: of dancers. Sometimes they just sit and say hi and 55 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 1: just in between rehearsals. But this time was different. This 56 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: time she went alone. I went with a mission. Wilomina 57 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: wanted his advice on a role she'd be dancing soon. 58 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: I wanted to ask balancing about it. I wanted to 59 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: hear what he had to say. And it was a 60 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: little bit of an excuse to go see him. And 61 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: somehow I think it's probably my denial that he was dying. 62 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: Balancine was in a hospital bed in blue and white 63 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: striped pajamas and a robe. So I sat down with 64 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: him and I said, I'm gonna do the Mother and Nutcracker, 65 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: and can you help me with the part. So then 66 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: he kind of sat up and started coaching the balancing 67 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: she knew came to life, dancing from the waist up 68 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: in a way only balancing could. He said, give me 69 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: your hand, and I gave him my hand. He said, no, 70 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: don't give me your hand like that. And he had 71 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: a big thing about how you hold hands. He said, 72 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: the man must take your hand underneath, and this is 73 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: how they kiss it. He kissed her hand and looked 74 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: at her almost flirtatious, then let her hand drop to 75 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,679 Speaker 1: the bed sheet. I didn't need much. I just wanted 76 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: him to talk about it a little bit, and then things, 77 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: you know, went from there. Balancie told her to open 78 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:32,559 Speaker 1: a drawer nearby in his hospital cabinet. He had these 79 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: bottles of slive of its. It's really strong. Have you 80 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: ever had slip of its? Oh? Man, it's like gasoline. 81 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: Wilomina didn't have a show that night, she thought, what 82 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: the hell. Balancine patted the bed beside him, and like 83 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: she done so many times before with her choreographer, she 84 00:06:53,640 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: followed his direction. She hopped on. He said, dear, come 85 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: under the covers from My Heart, podcasts and Rococo Punch. 86 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: This is the turning room of mirrors America Lance Part one. 87 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: Only I can see you. In the US. There is 88 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: ballet before George Balanciine and ballet after George Balanchine. He's 89 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: so in the water of American ballet that even now 90 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: it's hard to divorce him from what it is today, 91 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: the beautiful parts and the hard parts. He grew up 92 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: dancing for the Czar in Russia and survived revel Ucian 93 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: but eventually he landed in New York and created a 94 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: ballet company, the New York City Ballet. He drew a 95 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: blueprint for how to run a ballet school and a 96 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: company under the rule of an artistic director. He emphasized 97 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,239 Speaker 1: devotion to the art form above all else. He corey 98 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: graphed pieces that were abstract, that colored outside the lines 99 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: of traditional ballet. He integrated fast footwork and big movements 100 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: into his technique, pushed dancers beyond their limits. These innovations 101 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: vaulted him to a position of power few artists ever reach. 102 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: Chances are, if you've danced ballet in America, Balancine has 103 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: affected you. I know he affected me. Last season we 104 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: talked about Mother Teresa, the most famous woman in the 105 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: Catholic Church. She and Balancine are very different. But if 106 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: there's a mother tree of American ballet, someone larger than life, 107 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: I'd say it's George Balancin. Like with Mother Teresa, there 108 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: are myths and legends surrounding balancing. He was put on 109 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: a pedestal. He created an insular world where dancers felt chosen, 110 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 1: like they were part of something bigger, and it was intoxicating. 111 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 1: Dancer has described him as channeling his artistic vision from 112 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: God and dancers were the vessel for his art. And 113 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: like with Mother Teresa, that can get very complicated. What 114 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: was Balancine's role in his dancers lives or in your life? 115 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 1: She used to say, I am your mother in class, 116 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: I am a mother. He well, he was everything. Wilhelmina 117 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: entered Balancin's world for the first time in nineteen sixty nine. 118 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: She was thirteen years old. She had just left her 119 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: family to move to New York on her own to 120 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: attend balancing school the pipeline for his ballet company. They 121 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: had these old studios on the Upper West Side and Broadway. 122 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: There were stairs that led down into the studio where 123 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: the class was held, and she remembers one day she 124 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 1: looked up and what I thought was an old man 125 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: who was standing at the top of the stairs, and 126 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: he came down and he sat with the teacher, and 127 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: suddenly he came over and he had his hands all 128 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: over my body. I was doing Arabesque. She froze, suspended 129 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 1: an arabesque, one leg lifted behind her, an arm outstretched 130 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,559 Speaker 1: in front of her face, and he took my Arab 131 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: bask and he turned it so that it was a 132 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: more open position, and that my hand was lengthy and 133 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: extended and looking over my eyes. And that was my 134 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: introduction to George balancing. And I didn't really understand what 135 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: he was doing, but I under yet now that he 136 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: was looking to see if I was capable of what 137 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,839 Speaker 1: his vision for technique for his ballots was. It was 138 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: her introduction to Balancian's style of ballet, Unlike anything she'd 139 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: experienced before. Balancie had this fantastical way of describing movement. 140 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: He would tell danswers to present a foot as if 141 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: it were a diamond placed on a red velvet pillow. 142 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,439 Speaker 1: Wilhelmina sense to that trusting him would lead to greatness. 143 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: You are blessed with having been in the presence of 144 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: that kind of genius. And I was scared. I guess 145 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: that I might not measure up, or I wasn't as 146 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,839 Speaker 1: good as the other kids. I was nervous about unlearning 147 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 1: what I had been taught and re learning this new, complex, 148 00:11:51,080 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 1: very demanding technique. It was big, animated, acrobatic in ways 149 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:09,959 Speaker 1: that seemed physically impossible to pull off. That technique Balancie 150 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: used to describe it as more. Used to say more 151 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: and more and more park sausages mom More. It was more, higher, faster, sleeker, extended. 152 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: This technique was just take what you know and push it. 153 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: M After that day in the classroom with Balancine, well 154 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: Amina often noticed his eyes on her. He was watching me. 155 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: How did it feel when Balancie noticed you? When you 156 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: can tell he was watching you? You know, foll I 157 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,959 Speaker 1: loved it. You know I loved you. I mean, how 158 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: could you not love it? But At one point he 159 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: kept pulling me front, and it became kind of embarrassing 160 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: because I had friends that it wasn't happening to. People 161 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: would assume that you were flirting or doing you know, 162 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: and there was jealousy around it, and that you were 163 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: getting close to him because you wanted to dance better parts. 164 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 1: Balancing had a track record of blurring the professional and 165 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: the personal, falling in love with his favorite dancers and 166 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: marrying some of them. At sixteen, Wilhelmina became an apprentice 167 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 1: with New York City Ballet, the transition from student to 168 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 1: potential professional dancer in Balancing's company, we got dressed up 169 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: for class because you wanted him to pay attention to you. 170 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: Everybody wore flowers in their hair, and he spoke that 171 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: he spoke so quietly, like in a rehearsal. Only dancers 172 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: could hear him. He had to be totally tuned into him, 173 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: totally tuned in well. He completely wanted all of our 174 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: attention and all of our devotion. Not unlike the convent, 175 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: we were not supposed to be interested in men. Balancing 176 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: felt like if we were distracted by a man, it 177 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: would pull us away from what he wanted us to do. 178 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: He really wanted us to be completely and totally, just 179 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: deeply involved in our dancing. He didn't really want you 180 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: to have children. He didn't really want you to get married. 181 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: So nobody got married, or if they did, it was 182 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: in secret, and you hid your boyfriend. Wilhelmina learned this 183 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: the hard way. I was at a cafe across from 184 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: Lincoln Center, called Your Allows, and I was with a 185 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: date and who should walk by but Balancing. He stopped 186 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: in front of them, and he looked at the guy 187 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: and he said, will Helmina has the ability to make 188 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 1: a man relax. I think it was sort of an 189 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: insult to the guy was like, and then he turned 190 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: to a Lamina and he said, dear, you think you're 191 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: in Paris, but you're not. And I went, okay, got it. 192 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: You know what was he saying? Because I feel like 193 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: often I hear quotes from Balancing, and they're indirect and 194 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what they mean. They're indirect, and 195 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: he was sarcastic, very sarcastic. I think what he meant 196 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: by that is, you know, New York, you're sitting outdoors, 197 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,479 Speaker 1: the busses go by and it's you know, loud and dirty, 198 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: but you're not here in the romance of Paris with 199 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: this gentleman. I just took that as I'm not that 200 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: happy about this, you know, especially because it's kind of 201 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: like I was on his turf in a way right 202 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 1: across the street. I laughed, you know, I just laughed 203 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: at it. He was just out to like just destroying 204 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: my time with the guy. I think, you whatever. I 205 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: think he was just throwing his weight around Mr b. 206 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: Let let the guy know she's mine. I had her first, right, 207 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 1: I had her first, you know. At the same time 208 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: he's having relationships with some of his dancers. Yeah, he did. 209 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: You know. I don't know that I thought about it 210 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: that much at the time. It was just the way 211 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: it was. Balancine asked his dancers to keep their mind 212 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: in the studio. In the studio, he asked for their 213 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: complete trust. He used to say, well are you looking 214 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 1: at In terms of as a dancer, we look in 215 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 1: the mirror, right, So he'd say, what are you looking at, dear? 216 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 1: You can't see you, only I can see you. To 217 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: will Amina, it meant the mirror could lie. You're just 218 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: seeing an image of yourself. Fleeting as you're going by. 219 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: The audience is seeing something different. Don't listen to the mirror, 220 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: listen to my voice. You can't see you, only I 221 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 1: can see you. Balancine controlled the company, controlled who got parts, 222 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: controlled your life. He could recast your role at any time. 223 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: He could aside you're out of the company. Your artistry 224 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: and career were in his hands, and he was seen 225 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: as a living genius. Many dancers have praised him for 226 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 1: his gentlemanly manner. Others have said he could be cold 227 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: at times cruel even if he didn't like your dancing. 228 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: He might be sarcastic or blunt. But Balancine seemed to 229 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 1: like Wilhelmina. She wonders if it's because she resembled one 230 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 1: of his ex wives, another dancer. She was built like her, 231 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,400 Speaker 1: had a long nose like hers, and while some dancers 232 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 1: feared Mr. B. Wilomina didn't. For some reason. She felt 233 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: he was lonely. It was very easy for me to 234 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: talk to him. I think because he was ultimately very 235 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: shy himself. He wasn't that comfortable with that many people. 236 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 1: Balancine and Wilhelmina often walked in the same direction at 237 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 1: the end of the day, not surprising since all of 238 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: the dancers lived in the area, including Mr. B. One night, 239 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,919 Speaker 1: when they were walking home, Wilhelmina had an idea and 240 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 1: I just turned him and I did and said, you 241 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: want to have dinner at my house sometime? He said yes. 242 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: I said to him, I'm gonna cut this is so 243 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: kids stupid. I'm going to cook cocoa van, which I 244 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: knew nothing about, nothing about it or how to cook it. No. 245 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: Wilhelmina was nineteen, Balancine was seventy one, and Balancine was 246 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 1: big on food. He was known for his refined palette 247 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: and cooking. Will Almina was out of her depth. So 248 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: I got a cocoa van recipe and I ran to 249 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: what was called the Nevada Meat Market. I said, help, 250 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: how do I cook cocoa van? I said, what caught? 251 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: What would Mr be by? And because that was where 252 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 1: he shopped, he said, oh, he would buy this, he 253 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:51,679 Speaker 1: would buy that. So I got all this stuff and 254 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 1: then I went to sixty seven Wine in Spirits, which 255 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 1: was the liquor store I knew he went to, and 256 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: I said, I need some wine that this VALANCHI would 257 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: like to drink, and they like laughed at me because 258 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: he's such a wine mystery, is like a wine collector. 259 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: And then they were like, how much do you want 260 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: to spend? I was like ten dollars, you know, so 261 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. I blew my whole paycheck on it. He 262 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 1: came over and he showed up with two bottles of 263 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: seven Lafitte Rothschild's poiac I think it was a poiyak. 264 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 1: Those are now like five thousand dollar bottles of one, 265 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: and even then they were hundreds of dollars. So I 266 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: was like, you won't my wine. It's no dear, I 267 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: think we'll drink this. But at that dinner, that was 268 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: like a turning point in my relationship with him, because 269 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: first of all, he said he was really impressed with 270 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: my cooking. But he stayed a long time and we 271 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 1: had amazing conversation. Amazing conversation. It wasn't sexual, honestly. I 272 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: think he appreciated that I asked him over for dinner, 273 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 1: because for the most part, he just went to dinner 274 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 1: with his principal dancers at the time, or he went 275 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 1: home alone. I don't know why people assumed that you 276 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 1: were having sex with him or whatever with him, balanciing flirty, 277 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:39,440 Speaker 1: but he was such a old world gallant gentleman about 278 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 1: all of it. You know. He did that thing where 279 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 1: if he liked you, he would buy you perfume. It 280 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: was something he didn't do for everyone, just special dancers. 281 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: Wilmina knew this when she was about twenty one years 282 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: old on tour with the company in Paris. Balancine was 283 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,199 Speaker 1: in his early seventies. We were in the theater. It 284 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: was just a mean in between rehearsals, balancing came over. 285 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: He handed her a bag, pretty little shopping bag, and 286 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: he just heard your this is for you. Inside was 287 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: a bottle of perfume. It was a huge bottle of anphony. 288 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 1: He picked the scent, and I was such a brat 289 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 1: that it took up to my hotel room and I 290 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: decided I didn't like it, so I poured half of 291 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,439 Speaker 1: it down the drain, Probably poured hundreds of dollars perfume 292 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: down the drain. And then later when I got older, 293 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 1: I was like, you are an idiot, Willie, or just 294 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 1: an idiot. Well, it's understandable. I mean he's picking how 295 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: you smell, and it is your body award and did 296 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: that feel like a big deal to you at the time, 297 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, he's kind of chos me. I 298 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 1: was a little embarrassed because by then I would had 299 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 1: been around long enough to know that people gossiped that 300 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,520 Speaker 1: if he was going to do that for you, that 301 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 1: he was sleeping with you. But what he wasn't. I wasn't. 302 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 1: These insinuations felt manageable to wil Amina. She still saw 303 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: Balancing as a non threatening old man, an old man 304 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: who gave her the opportunity to make meaningful art. She 305 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 1: loved to watch him spin dances out of thin air. 306 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: She remembers when he choreographed the opening moments of Symphony 307 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: in Three Movements. The composer Igor Stravinsky had written the 308 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: music and personally told Balancing it should be a ballet. 309 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: And I remember Mr Vigos doing the first step, which 310 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 1: the music goes rum bum bum bum bum, And we 311 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: were all in a line and he just pulled his 312 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: leg in tight, sort of like a squat position, rolled 313 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 1: his right arm, stuck it up at the air, and 314 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:58,160 Speaker 1: did press and push into a low arab ast position. 315 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,120 Speaker 1: And he said, okay, everybody do that. So we all 316 00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 1: did it, and the effect. From that opening moment, it's 317 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: like you just knew that you were involved in what 318 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: was going to be a masterpiece. And the line of 319 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: dancers and white leotards looked like a line of cannons 320 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,159 Speaker 1: firing in a row. They windmill their arms, jabbed them straight, 321 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: They weave in and out of each other. They look 322 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: like they're about to collide. He worked furiously, furiously, He 323 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: had more energy than everyone, and that was just one rehearsal. 324 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: Then he'd go to the next rehearsal, the next rehearsal, 325 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: he'd weave a whole different piece that would also go 326 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: down in the dance history books. But being the object 327 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 1: of balancing's artistic expression could be relentless. When you're working 328 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 1: in that kind of intensity all the time, you're doing 329 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 1: hos a week, your rehearsal all day, you're doing three 330 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 1: ballets a night. You're doing some core parts, some principal parts, 331 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 1: some soloist parts. You don't have any relief or any 332 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: life at all. And there was no counseling or no 333 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,439 Speaker 1: thinking about what's the mental health of these young artists. 334 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 1: All that didn't exist. You just had to tough it out. 335 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 1: You might get cast in a difficult role last minute. 336 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 1: Have to learn it immediately, and when you go on 337 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 1: stage to dance it, you know that how you perform 338 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: will determine your future. It's something Wilmina did a lot. 339 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: She remembers one time when she was thrown into a 340 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: complex piece right before a show, and I learned it 341 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: on the spot. It's really hard. There's no music, it's 342 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: just beeps and bops and things, and and so they 343 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: talked me through that. Mr b was in the elevator 344 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: with her when she went down to the stage to perform, 345 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, and he said, just take 346 00:25:54,280 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: it one movement at a time, and she did m 347 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: I never got injured. I was on my way to everything. 348 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: But a year after she got that perfume bottle, she 349 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:16,879 Speaker 1: was running ragged. She had been cast in balancings A 350 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: Midsummer Night's Dream. She was dancing the role of Apolada 351 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 1: in Greek mythology. Apol it is the former queen of 352 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 1: the Amazon's. I didn't feel like I was suited to 353 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 1: the role because although I was long and tall and 354 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 1: strong and could do those kind of tall girl parts, 355 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 1: this was just not me. She even talked to balancing 356 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 1: about it. I said, I don't think this is a 357 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 1: good part for me, but it was like a test, 358 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: like I just wanted me to get through it. One 359 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: day was particularly bad. I just thought I was dancing 360 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,399 Speaker 1: so badly. I wasn't a great turner, you know, as 361 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 1: good at other things, but I was falling off my 362 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: turns like so badly. There's a set of whats that 363 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: you do there with a bow and arrow in your hands, 364 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,360 Speaker 1: and it's in fog, and I was struggling with them anyway, 365 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:10,199 Speaker 1: and I didn't get through it. And I failed in 366 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: this role so badly that I left the stage in 367 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: a stage rehearsal with an orchestra, which is a very 368 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 1: expensive rehearsal. I think I had a little nervous breakdown. 369 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 1: I think I was popping, you know, I was just 370 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 1: popping and I just couldn't handle it. I just walked 371 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 1: out of the theater in tears. Wilmina decided to talk 372 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 1: to Balancine. I went to him and I said, I'd 373 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,960 Speaker 1: like to take a leave of absence. I just can't 374 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,359 Speaker 1: do this. But Balancine didn't want her to go. He 375 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: told me this story of there were twelve nuns waiting 376 00:27:55,080 --> 00:28:01,719 Speaker 1: for Christ. Two calm down from heaven, and six of 377 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: them brought enough oil. I don't even know if this 378 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: is a real Bible story. Yeah, so he said, six 379 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 1: of them brought enough oil to last the night. Six 380 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,880 Speaker 1: only brought enough for a little while. So the six 381 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: that didn't bring enough had to leave and go get oil. 382 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: And when they came back, Christ had already come, and 383 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 1: the other six nuns had gone to heaven. That one 384 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 1: I got, right, you can go, but I might not 385 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 1: be here when you come back. I guess that was 386 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: his way of trying to talk me out of it. Right, 387 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: And he's like the Christ figure in that analogy. Oh yeah, 388 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: that story he told about nuns missing their chance at heaven, 389 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: it wasn't just a story. It was real to dancers 390 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 1: in the company. It was how the place worked. They 391 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: were always younger dancers waiting in the wings to take 392 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: your place. And Balancine had no problem moving on without you. 393 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 1: So I said him, I understand that I'm taking a 394 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 1: risk that I had to leave. She took some time, 395 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: worked at a clothing store, dated got married, but her 396 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: decision to leave didn't stick. Not long after, I was 397 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: modeling at tavern on the green in the clothing store 398 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 1: and I walked by and there he was. He was 399 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: with another ballerina, one of his top dancers and closest friends. 400 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: And I walked by their table. I went oh, and 401 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 1: he said, oh dear, it's you. And I realized that 402 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 1: I missed dancing and I missed him. I missed my life. 403 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: So I called him. I had his phone ever, I 404 00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: still have it in an old day book, and I said, hello, 405 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: Mr B. It's the prodigal daughter. Wilhelmina called balanching. But 406 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: it was a long shot for her to get accepted 407 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: back into the company. Generally, once you left, you were out, 408 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:36,959 Speaker 1: just rare exceptions. So I called him and I said, hello, 409 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:43,760 Speaker 1: Mr B, it's the prodigal daughter. And he said, oh, well, 410 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 1: how Mina. I said, I want to come back, and 411 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: he said, meet me in my office tomorrow. She showed 412 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: up to his office. Her fate was in his hands. 413 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: They talked. He told her to come to the theater 414 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: the next day she could start dancing again. So he 415 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 1: didn't punish me. He forgave me. He forgave me for it. 416 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: He'd forgiven her for leaving the company, for leaving him. 417 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: I come to find out that it was unheard of, 418 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 1: so he really was so good to me. However, in 419 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: that meeting was the first time he tried to kiss me, 420 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 1: and you're the first person I've told that too. What happened. 421 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 1: It was kind of like to seal the deal. He 422 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: went in and I pushed him away. I said, Mr, 423 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: b I'm married. It was awkward because I knew that 424 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 1: I was treating him like a man much older than 425 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,719 Speaker 1: myself and when she was, which she was. And also 426 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 1: it's awkward to refuse anybody in life, and awkward for 427 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: me to stop somebody who had been so good to 428 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: me and who I cared about so much. So that 429 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 1: was really complicated. When Wilhelmina said she was married, Balancine 430 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: pulled back. He stopped. He just like went, okay, I 431 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: got up and left. I got up and left. It 432 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,600 Speaker 1: was really it was not that big, but I guess 433 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: it was big, right, as sometimes those things are like 434 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 1: like kind of both at once. Yeah, that's an intense 435 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,400 Speaker 1: moment for him to try to kiss you, because it 436 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 1: was the moment where she almost had the most power 437 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: over you, because he wanted to come back and he 438 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,719 Speaker 1: was going to decide whether you did or not. And 439 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 1: in that meeting he leans in to kiss you wait, 440 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 1: which is like, are you going to get your job 441 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: back or not? But I mean I was. I had been, 442 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 1: you know, in a way refusing him always in retrospect, 443 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: there had been that energy in the air throughout. Yes, 444 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: absolutely there was that energy. There was that energy. When 445 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 1: you feel that energy, it's sometimes you can't always put 446 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: your finger on it, but you know it's there. That's 447 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 1: exactly right. It was a complicated moment, very complicated moment emotionally. 448 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:47,880 Speaker 1: I never came up again until the hospital Roosevelt Hospital December, 449 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: when Balancing was seventy eight years old, will Amina was 450 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 1: She visited him to ask about her role in Balancing Nutcracker. 451 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 1: She had requested to play the role of the mother 452 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: of the main character. It wasn't a fancy part, but 453 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: she'd been thinking about motherhood lately. Of course, Balancie didn't 454 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 1: like his dancers to have kids, Like a lot of 455 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: dancers in the company. She'd had several abortions, and I 456 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 1: wanted to have children. I was getting older, and there 457 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 1: was this one moment in particular she couldn't wait to perform. 458 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 1: It's a simple moment it doesn't exist in other versions 459 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 1: of the ballet. Justin Balanchine's there's this incredible piece of music. 460 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 1: It's a violent solo, and all it is is the 461 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 1: mother with a candle walking across in the front of 462 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: the stage looking for Marie, looking for her daughter. She's 463 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,239 Speaker 1: looking for her because she's not in her bed. She's 464 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:53,839 Speaker 1: fallen asleep by the Christmas tree with her nutcracker, which 465 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 1: her mother wouldn't let her take to bed. So the 466 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:02,320 Speaker 1: scrim is down, and this violin solo happens. You walk across, 467 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 1: you're looking, looking, looking, and the scrim goes up and 468 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 1: Marie is there, she's fallen asleep, and then all you 469 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,239 Speaker 1: do is cover her up, and and it's a It's 470 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: just a really beautiful moment. That balancing added to the story. 471 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,240 Speaker 1: Balancine told her that as the mother in this ballet, 472 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,120 Speaker 1: she was the grand dame of the house. She had 473 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 1: to be elegant. He showed her how the men should 474 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: kiss her hand. He directed her to get the bottle 475 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: of Slivovitz and join him on the bed, and Wilhelmina 476 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: began her dance with Balancine, the strangest ballet she'd ever 477 00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: danced and we drank. We drank it out of hospital glasses. 478 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 1: They were real glasses at the time. We talked about 479 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,880 Speaker 1: all kinds of things while we were drinking. We talked 480 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: about the theater. We were laughing. He had this calendar 481 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: with Christie Brinkley on it, know, pin up calendar of hers. 482 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: He said, dear, come under the covers. So I got 483 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 1: into the covers. He put one arm around her. Women 484 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: were his whole life. Women were his inspiration. So to 485 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,880 Speaker 1: have one of your women come in and be with 486 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: you in a way, it's like that's the was always 487 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:28,040 Speaker 1: the conquest for him to always enjoy women, including physically. 488 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 1: It's funny in the hospital. It didn't bother me because 489 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,160 Speaker 1: I felt almost like how you know, when you're really sick, 490 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 1: you're like a mother, almost like you get into bed 491 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,359 Speaker 1: to hold the person and comfort them. I felt like that. 492 00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: I didn't feel grossed out by it. I felt sad 493 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:58,439 Speaker 1: for him, and also I was very drunk. It must 494 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 1: have been a really hilarious looking vision of the two 495 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 1: of us in that hospital. Did like sitting under the 496 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 1: covers together drinking, but also how normal, you know what 497 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 1: I mean, what you would do with someone that you 498 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 1: love that's at the end of their life. You you 499 00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 1: do whatever it takes to just have a good time 500 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 1: with them. And as long as that person was alive 501 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: and functioning, that my life was kind of okay too. 502 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 1: Half the bottle of Slivovitz was gone now, and he 503 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 1: tried to open my shirt. He said, just let me 504 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: investigate a little. Wilhelmina pretended to be in control, to 505 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 1: know what to do. Part of her thoughts, after all 506 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: of these years resisting, maybe just let him. I said no, no, 507 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,440 Speaker 1: Mr v, come on, you know, And he said, no, 508 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: just a little dear. So I did let him open 509 00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: my shirt and he didn't get very far. Yeah. Then 510 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 1: he tried to kiss her. She held her lips shut. 511 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,240 Speaker 1: Will Almina would write about this moment later with some distance. 512 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 1: She wrote about how balanching was like a father to her. 513 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:17,319 Speaker 1: He was too many, She wrote, his hands are there, 514 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,480 Speaker 1: but fathers don't do this. And because I love this 515 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,879 Speaker 1: father so much, and because I hate him for not 516 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,239 Speaker 1: loving me enough to not do this, I pushed him 517 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: away and step off the bed. I stumbled out of 518 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: the hospital with the rest of the bottle in my hand, 519 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 1: into a cab like God and one, three, four, six 520 00:38:53,880 --> 00:39:00,360 Speaker 1: and one choose you have to stay, just stay. Forty 521 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:06,919 Speaker 1: years later, she doesn't perform ballet anymore. Instead, she teaches, yeah, 522 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: I got find of it. This one had that emotional 523 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 1: piece to it, right. I think, what's the way that 524 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,720 Speaker 1: else put in field of music through your body? Field 525 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:22,319 Speaker 1: of music through your body and your face. She's the 526 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 1: artistic director of a ballet school or California, the Stapleton 527 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,480 Speaker 1: School of the Performing Arts and get breath that flow 528 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:39,360 Speaker 1: off and all this week she's teaching a special workshop 529 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: for her teenage students. It's all about balancing. But she 530 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 1: doesn't tell them this hospital story. Instead, she tells them 531 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,320 Speaker 1: about how to open their arabesques by pulling one shoulder back, 532 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,359 Speaker 1: the way Mr B taught her too. She tells them 533 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 1: what it was like to dance for Mr B. Mr Van, 534 00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: She was very involved in our end of visuality. He 535 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 1: took a lot of time to understand who you are. 536 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:11,839 Speaker 1: She teaches them the choreography just almost ready to her form, 537 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,400 Speaker 1: and how to move their feet little feet knows boys 538 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 1: keep a little And she shows these students why she 539 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:23,080 Speaker 1: loves balancing. You have the same growth in the music again. 540 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,920 Speaker 1: Right and exist well here, and you have to swell 541 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,880 Speaker 1: within yourself. Most of all, she talks about his artistry, 542 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:49,640 Speaker 1: but made balancing great ye all way to the end. 543 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:58,160 Speaker 1: He's the why. She's one of many dancers who do this, 544 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,320 Speaker 1: former ballerinas who passed down his repertoire all around the world, 545 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,960 Speaker 1: like priestesses with sacred knowledge. They need to pass on, 546 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,120 Speaker 1: afraid that the nuances of his art will be lost. 547 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,200 Speaker 1: There are not very many of us left around that 548 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 1: actually grew up with balancing. We are a dying breed 549 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 1: and we know it. I realized that it was like 550 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:31,000 Speaker 1: I grew up with Mozart. You know. I came across 551 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,480 Speaker 1: this one quote I can't stop thinking about. It's from 552 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:39,440 Speaker 1: Vera Zorina, one of Balancine's wives. Like all of his wives, 553 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:43,520 Speaker 1: she was about Arena, who danced for him. She wrote quote. 554 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: He would speak of the suffering faces of dancers, comparing 555 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: them to saints. He meant spiritual suffering. To George, dancers 556 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,799 Speaker 1: were saints because they worked harder and longer. We're obedient, 557 00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:02,239 Speaker 1: never talked back, We're always paid the least, and then 558 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:07,480 Speaker 1: went on stage and danced like angels. To me, this 559 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,000 Speaker 1: sums up how Balancine wanted the women in his company 560 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:14,520 Speaker 1: to be Balancine's dancers would change their bodies for him, 561 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: some through extreme dieting, drugs, or surgery. Some would have 562 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 1: abortions or avoid romantic relationships to focus on the job. 563 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 1: Some would fall in love with Balancine, and decades after 564 00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:32,280 Speaker 1: Balancin died, Ballerina's are still dancing for him, still seeking 565 00:42:32,360 --> 00:43:06,439 Speaker 1: his approval. Coming up on The Turning, im serving something 566 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,839 Speaker 1: larger than myself. If it's not God than our form 567 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:14,799 Speaker 1: or balancing for me, it felt like it's like balancing's 568 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:27,080 Speaker 1: ghosts or something. The Turning is a production of Rococo 569 00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: Punch and I Heeart Podcasts. It's written and produced by 570 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:35,080 Speaker 1: Allen Lance Lesser and Me. Our story editor is Emily Foreman. 571 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:39,400 Speaker 1: Mixing and sound designed by James Trout. Jessica Carissa is 572 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 1: our assistant producer. Andrea Swage is our digital producer. Fact 573 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:48,280 Speaker 1: checking by Andrea Lopez Crusado Special thanks to Kate Osborne 574 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,160 Speaker 1: and Natalie Jones. Our executive producers are John Paratti and 575 00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,520 Speaker 1: Jessica Albert at Rococo Punch, I Get, Trina Norvelle and 576 00:43:55,600 --> 00:44:04,839 Speaker 1: Nikki Etre at iHeart podcasts, YEA for photos and more 577 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: details on the series, follow us on Instagram at Rococo Punch, 578 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,799 Speaker 1: and you can reach out via email The Turning at 579 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:32,680 Speaker 1: Rococo punch dot com. M I'm Erica Llance. Thanks for listening. M.